Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust
by TW-addict
Summary: "She came back wrong" - When you die, you stay dead. That's the expectation anyway. Except in Beacon Hills anything is possible. But changing fate, messing with ancient forces? nothing good can come out of it. Except Stiles wants to change that, willing to do anything to remind Kayla of who she really is - 'you all buried the truth, now watch as it drags you down with it' - Book 3!
1. Chapter 1 - To Stiles,

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any shape or form – sad face – ANYWAYS this is officially the THRID BOOK? Crazy right? Haha, thanks so much for all your support in the last two books and hope you like this one just as much :)**

 _Ba-bum… ba-bum… ba-bum…_

That sound, so gentle yet full of life, was one she hadn't heard in forever. She felt it all around her, deafening her to the point where it almost became unbearable, overloading all her other senses.

 _Ba-bum… ba-bum… ba-bum-ba-bum-ba-bum-_

She was smothered in darkness – darkness so cold it stung right down to her bones, a heavy weight pressing against her chest and forcing her deeper into the freezing depths.

… Was this just another trick? A game? Another form of the nogitsune's torture? She didn't know. She was confused. Shocked into submission. A painful knotting forming in her chest and it took a few moments to recognise what that feeling was.

Her lungs. Lungs that been torn from her body time and time again, over and over again, were needing _air_. For some strange reason it felt like she needed to _breathe_. Except dead people didn't breathe. Her lungs should _not_ be feeling this way. Her organs, along with the rest of her body, should be nothing but gunk and bare bone, rotted away into nothing.

 _Ba-bum-ba-bum-ba-bum-ba-bum-ba-bum-_

The tightness expanded, squeezing her entire numb body in its tight grasp, sharp shocks of agony seizing a hold of her and not letting go.

But she had been through worse than this – _so much worse._ She could handle this pain. It was nothing, just a minor inconvenience. She had been ripped apart and pieced back together time and time again, her mind invaded and torn to nothing but shreds. Whatever was happening she could  handle.

… Except it felt different. She couldn't put her finger on it but she felt something like… _desperation_ … surging through her entire being and that was a feeling she hadn't felt in a long time. She had long since given up at the idea of a peaceful ending, accepting her torturous fate.

 _Ba-bum-ba-bum-ba-bum-ba-bum-ba-bum-_

Her body burned, the loud echo rattling around inside her head and it took her a few moments longer to process what that sound was, having not heard it for as long as she could remember.

It was like…

It was like her heart was _beating?_

Then just like that some instinct inside her snapped, the need to survive kicking in.

Dry and bloody lips tried to open, prepared to inhale a deep breath of some much needed oxygen only to choke on the linen encasing her entire body. Her limbs kicked out against the heavy confines of the dirt smothering her, trying desperately to escape her underground prison, nails breaking and chest exploding with pain as she slowly but surely suffocated.

No… no not like this. She was _not_ losing… _**not again.**_

So she fought with strength she long thought gone, a burning desire for answers, for _revenge_ , seeping through her entire being as the linen ripped, waves of dirt beginning to choke her as she squirmed and bucked, digging her way from her own grave.

But her resilience paid off.

Somehow a single hand broke free, the damaged and torn fingers stretching and aching for freedom, the bloody cuts stinging from the nippy night air.

Then the other hand followed suit, clinging to the mud and dirt as leverage to haul herself from the grave, choking on the clumps of soil in her nostrils and back of her throat as she pulled herself free, landing painfully atop the leaf covered ground gasping for breath, gagging and retching up bloody dirt that had scratched her throat.

This wasn't right. It wasn't possible. She was dead, she knew she was. She had spent years, _forever_ really, alone and abandoned with _him_ … with the nogitsune. That was the price she paid for doing the right thing. The price of _love_.

 _… Urgh._

She almost choked on that word, holding back a disgruntled snort.

Love? What a horrible concept, even just the thought alone made her **_sick_**.

Love got her **nowhere** except dead. Dead and in pain. You name it she felt it and all for what? For _him?_

She felt her face screw up in anger, shaky limbs pulling herself to her feet and glancing around, her vision a little blurry.

Yeah, that might have been because two minutes ago she didn't even have eyes – there was bound to be a bit of an adjustment period.

The wind was blustery, dark hair matted and caked with dry dirt flying in front of her face, a calculating frown tugging at her brows as she squinted through the eerie darkness.

Beacon Hills preserve.

Years may have passed for her, a whole infinity and beyond, but she could never forget this place. The place where all of this started. If only she stayed away, refused to move here then she might've been happy.

She would have never met her so called friends.

She would have never met _him_.

A hatred worse than anything she had ever felt before tugged and tore through her gut, her bottom lip curling as she fought back the urge to scream and lash out, all her uncontrollable anger and frustration hitting her all at once.

Not only was she dead because of them - _for_ them even – but they dumped her in the woods like _trash?_ Like she was _nothing?_ Leaving her to rot and decay with the beetles, worms and maggots feasting on her like a damn Sunday roast… oh those _**bastards**_.

In the quiet overcast forest she let out a humourless chuckle which soon turned into a near manic laugh, those once dead eyes of hers lighting up that dark dangerous green.

"Oh just you wait… _Payback's a bitch"_

* * *

"We really didn't think this through" Isaac groaned, letting out a huff as he sat cross legged in the back of Stiles' Jeep, his long limbs cramped together, "we should've taken Camden's truck – at least that has like seven seats and is, you know, _actually_ a reliable vehicle"

"Oh zip it bigfoot" Stiles rolled his eyes, "this Jeep has taken me many miles and it will take me many more"

"Don't jinx it" Isaac warned, "the last thing we need is to break down on the way to Mexico"

 _"Oh my god_ that was you that jinxed it, not me" Stiles cast his gaze in the rear-view mirror to see his head just behind Lydia, Kira and Malia in the backseat, probably not all that comfy sitting on the floor of his jeep but Stiles didn't care all that much, "and if you keep yapping then I'll turn off the back air con"

"Your jeep doesn't _have_ air con Stiles" Isaac reminded him, "It blows out warm air"

"Can someone please just get him to shut up?"

"I will knock your heads together" Malia interrupted with a loud sigh, "and don't think that I won't"

Stiles smirked, "take my head out the equation and replace it with a solid brick wall and have at it"

He caught Isaac's glare and his smile widened just as Lydia rolled her eyes, giving them both the 'mom' look.

"Isaac this is why you're in the back – yours and Stiles' bickering does not need close proximity as well"

"I'm in the back seat because Scott is his best friend and you three are girls, my gentleman courtesy does exist you know"

Kira chuckled, "maybe we should stick on some music or something? Distract them"

"Good idea" Scott nodded, swivelling his head to Stiles, "where's your CD case?"

"Glove compartment" Stiles nodded to the small plastic compartment opposite Scott's knees before jumping back to the conversation they were having before Isaac started to get on his nerves, his eyes glancing from the road to the rear-view mirror, "so what happens if we can't find Derek? What next?"

Lydia shrugged, "look for another lead I guess"

"If the Calaveras don't have him then literally _anyone_ else that Derek has an enemy could – in case you didn't know the Hales have _a lot_ of enemies"

He was sure Lydia smirked, "I'm aware. Kay still had that feud with that girl from kindergarten over the last blue crayon"

Stiles smiled a little despite the fresh blossom of pain hitting the centre of his chest, his smile wavering a little. It still hurt, of course it did, but he was now actually coping and not just pretending he was. He felt like he finally got a bit of his life back.

"Scott, bud, what's the hold up?" he questioned, hearing Scott go still next to him, "Not find any good tunes? Cos I haven't cleaned out that compartment in like months. Years probably. In fact I'm pretty sure I still have the spicegirls CD-" he heard a faint snort from Isaac at that, "-and you can all now forget I said that"

But still Scott never answered and he glanced over at him, frowning a little at his best friend's slack look.

"Uh… Scott? What is it? What's the matter?"

Sad yet shocked eyes slid over to meet his curious and worried gaze, his hands tightening around the steering wheel subconsciously.

"When, uh… when was the last time you looked in here?"

"A few months maybe" he shrugged, quickly glancing at the road and then back to Scott, "the damn handle is broken, why?"

"Um…" his best friend fidgeted a little, sharing a worried look with their friends in the back, "there's a… a letter"

"A letter?" Stiles questioned, totally flummoxed, "from who?"

Scott paled even more, those big brown eyes saddening, "I'm pretty sure it's from Kayla"

And if Stiles wasn't trying so hard to be stable in his life then he would've swerved off the road at that statement, his eyes widening.

"She's dead Scott"

"I know" he nodded as a painful rip tore his chest open, his heart starting to thunder against his ribcage, "I think she left this before she did. A just in case…"

His breathing laboured a little, his teary gaze facing the road head on as an uncomfortable silence settled over the jeep, no one really knowing what to say.

"Well? Aren't you going to read it?"

 _Except Malia of course._

"We uh… we don't have time" he dismissed quietly, the happiness that was once present getting slowly drained from him, "we have to save Derek"

"We can make time if you want" Scott whispered, "if it's important to you…"

"Of course it's important to me. She was important to me, _still is"_ he said immediately, determinedly focused on the endless stretch of road ahead, "but she's gone and Derek… Derek might not be. We could still save him" he slowly twisted his head to the side to meet Scott's gentle gaze, "like we should've saved them"

Allison, Aiden, Kayla. The three they all wanted back but were too late. They were always _too late_ … but not this time. Stiles wouldn't allow it.

Scott flinched a little but cast his stare downward to the slightly crumpled white envelope with his name messily scrawled across it, "if you wanted… I could read it to you?" sensing Stiles' nerves, how badly he really _did_ want to see Kayla's parting message but fear and apprehension paralysed him, not ready to throw himself into the deep end, "unless you want it to stay private…"

He bit his lip, flicking his gaze between Scott's soft stare and the road, his palms getting sweaty and sliding off the steering wheel.

Did he really want to hear this? He was _just_ starting to be okay again, to be whole once more… if he heard this… If he knew what she wrote as goodbye would he ever let himself heal again? But if he didn't he knew it would just plague his mind day and night until he _had_ to read it. He was in a lose-lose situation.

Stiles gulped noisily, giving an almost unnoticeable nod.

"A-Alright" he whispered, not even caring they had an audience, "okay"

Scott sent him a small smile, fingers gently ripping at the envelope before he pulled a folded up bit of paper from it and even from here Stiles could see Kayla's messy but readable writing, her g's, j's and y's overdone, leaking down into the next line of writing.

"Alright… here goes…" his best friend whispered and Stiles could sense the tension in the small cramped jeep, everyone waiting with baited breath as Scott unfolded the paper, curious gaze skimming over the written words.

" _Stiles,_

 _Stiles Stilinski. My Stiles Stilinski. My guy"_ he bit his lip painfully, holding back the tears that wished to fall, " _I don't even know where to start. Having to put pen to paper is the hardest thing I have ever done... Having to write to you not knowing the outcome."_ He knew the outcome. The outcome was her not here, her **dead** , because of him. It was the worst possible end to their story, " _Not even knowing if you will ever read it, or if I'm there to read it with you. God I feel so stupid because a simple bit of paper doesn't do what I say justice, it doesn't do_ _ **us**_ _justice. There's so much I want to say to you right now. To tell you I'm sorry... To thank you... To tell you everything is going to be okay... To say I love you one last time, just in case"_

'You did Kaylz' he said silently, the words spinning around inside his head, 'I was holding you and you said it. You showed me how much I meant to you and I will forever love you for that'.

 _I don't know when or where you're reading this but I hope everything's okay. I hope you're okay. I hope you're doing better - moving on, living your life. All I've ever wanted is for you to be okay, to be happy. I know it's hard, it seems impossible but a year from now? I'll just be a memory. Two years? You probably won't remember the shade of my hair or the size of my shoes. Ten years? I'll just be a hazy image in the back of your head"_ Impossible – he would never let that happen, not **ever** , _"You'll think about me less and less until it doesn't hurt anymore, until one day you'll just think of me as the girl you used to love until she left. You'll have moved on, wife, kids, a good job. You'll fall in love again, maybe several times, and I should be more disappointed about that, jealous even, but I'm not. You deserve the best, you deserve loving someone that's alive and can love you back, something I can't give you if you're reading this. I came to terms with what was going to happen a long time ago and you should too"_

He never would because it was him here, living his life in constant pain and sadness… sometimes he thought the dead got let off easy – they didn't have to deal with the consequences their death left behind. They didn't feel pain or grief. They were finished.

" _Don't be sad. We've wasted too much of our lives being sad. Think of all the happy times we shared. All the times Derek threatened to kill you because we held hands. The time you surprised me by taking me to the Grand Canyon. Milly's diner and all those dates. How you could just look at me and make me feel so special and loved, like you saw me, the_ _ **real**_ _me that no one else did. Like at dance where we just let ourselves be free. Or during that horribly sappy slow song at the end and you just held me. Nothing unusual about it but I remember thinking in that moment that I had never felt safer and that was in the arms of a human boy. You made me feel that Stiles. You made me fall helplessly and hopelessly in love with you. You made me feel so many things that I would never give up, not for the world. I would rather have a short life with you in it than a long life without you"_

'And I would rather have you over _everything_ …' he thought sadly, burning tears prickling his eyes, his vision blurring as he tried to stay focused on the twisted road ahead.

" _And maybe that's selfish of me, wishing for nothing but you to be safe. Believe me I've thought of the possibility of me dying from every angle and every single time I think about how sad and broken you'll be a part of me dies inside. I never want to make you sad Stiles. I know how cut up you'll be. I know that it may even effect you for a very very long time after this, but I have faith in you – always have, always will. You're strong. You'll heal. You'll get over me one day. And if I'm being truthful that thought absolutely crushes me because there's nothing I want more than that stupid sappy future with you… cute house, big lawn, kids, two dogs… maybe a part of me has always wanted that, wanted normal, and I have it with you. And what we have is pretty damn special don't you think?... but if I'm dead then you will have to eventually get over me, you understand that don't you? Holding onto the past isn't healthy, especially a past that can never be got back"_

His throat ached, a torrent of silent tears streaming down his cheeks.

" _Don't blame yourself. Everything I've ever done has been my own choice. You told me to run, to leave town but I couldn't do that. I'm not going to run, I'm not going to be safe because you need me one last time and you mean everything to me. My death? It's not your fault and it will never be your fault. It's my own choice to stay and fight and it will be worth it when you come out of this alive... When we **save** you and that's all that matters to me. It's all I can concentrate on. Everything else just fades to the background, completely out of focus._

 _And yes I know, sap alert, but this may well be my deathbed letter, I can be cringey and gooey and sappy if I want to, especially if I'm, well… dead. Deceased. Gone. Yada, yada, yada – okay, sorry, that was terribly inappropriate, my bad"_

He chuckled, sniffing before wiping his nose with the back of his hand.

" _What I'm trying to say is… thank you. Thank you for giving me my life back. For making me so incredibly happy it was actually borderline ridiculous. Thank you for loving me when, at times, I couldn't love myself. For sticking with me and my 100 tonne baggage. You have a bright future Stiles and I'm so damn sorry I don't get to be a part of it… because we would've had a pretty awesome one if I do say so myself._

 _So do what you need to - cry, grieve, get mad, be angry at me, but I need you to do something for me, one last favour?_

 _I need you to_ _ **live.**_

 _And I don't mean just by breathing. I don't want you just existing. I want you to live. Be Stiles Stilinski, the funny, caring, sarcastic little shit I fell in love with. Live Stiles... For me._

 _And just remember... I will always be there with you,_ _ **always**_ _. I will never stop loving you. Till the end of the road remember?_

 _Goodbye… all my love,_

 _Your Kaylz Xxx"_

Scott finished with gently, his own cautious gaze brimming with tears and Stiles couldn't face meeting anyone's gazes, his shoulders shaking a little as he held back his cries, feeling the hot saltwater streaming down his cheeks.

He didn't know if hearing that made it better or worse, especially when he could hear as clear as day Kayla's voice saying those words, whispering them in his ear.

… Wasn't it funny how a simple letter could fuck up all his progress? Feeling himself break apart on the inside.

But he had to keep it together – Derek needed them now, he needed their heads in the game. He had already lost three people; he wasn't about to lose another one – even if that person _was_ Derek. So he just took a few seconds to choke back his tears, lifting a hand and scrubbing it down his face, wiping at his damp cheeks until they reddened, stare flickering to the letter still grasped in Scott's hands.

"Yeah…" he said quietly, his voice getting lost to the saddened atmosphere, "love you too…"

* * *

"You sure know how to treat a girl" she snorted, crossing her arms in amusement, "didn't even offer me a drink first"

The hunter snarled, nodding down to the knife at her feet, "you know what to do"

She picked it up, spinning it around in her grasp, "I just got back from being dead for two months, if you think I'm going to willingly stick this in my throat then you have another thought coming cutie"

Okay, rewind. Turns out she wasn't as alone as she thought. Not long after she dug herself free from her grave did she get ambushed by a group of well-trained expert hunters and she was too slow – being dead just minutes before that _obviously_ playing a massive part – and the next thing she knew she woke up in Mexico, trapped in a basement as her strength slowly came back to her.

The guy behind the door narrowed his eyes, "you know it's the right thing to do… when people die, they should _stay_ dead"

"Do I look dead to you?"

He cast his gaze over her body, "whoever or _whatever_ brought you back did a good job I'll give them that but you being here… it's wrong" he stated, "so do us all a favour and restore order… go back to being a rotting corpse"

Not a chance in hell. She was back and she was damn well going to take advantage of it.

"I like this look better thanks" she smirked, "but if you _really_ want me dead, why don't you come in here and try it?" she challenged, "come on tough guy, I'm a dead girl, it shouldn't be too hard"

"Don't tempt me" he growled, face screwed up in anger and distaste.

"Oh but I am" she purred, gaze drilling holes through his skull as she let her eyes flash that deep green, locking stares with him, "I asked you nicely… come in here and try it"

His eyes glazed over, the compulsion in her voice stronger than ever and it didn't take long for that vague look to cross his face, his hand dropping to slowly fiddle with the locks and bolts on the door and she smiled, excitement bubbling in her chest.

"That's right" she smiled widely, stepping forward as he pulled back the sliding door, "I'm right here… _Do. Your. Worst"_

Because she didn't care, as simple as that. She actually found it amusing they thought they could keep her locked away and force her into suicide. No. She came back stronger, more powerful and with none of those annoying pesky 'feelings' to impair her judgement. Hell burned away every shred of sanity she had, stripping her of empathy and emotions.

And it was **fantastic**.

The guy tried to rush her, his burly body almost ploughing straight into her but Kayla just continued to smirk, sliding to the right and grabbing him around the back of his neck, her dainty arms slowly but surely choking the life from him.

"I know, I know it hurts, _shhhh"_ she whispered in amusement, tightening her grip even more as his face started to turn red, "it'll be over soon… I'm cutting off oxygen going to your brain, you'll feel it… feel yourself slowly slipping and it will terrify you but you know something?" she laughed a little, holding his squirming body still, "I don't care. I feel nothing and it's _rejuvenating"_ she added loudly, twisting his neck painfully to the side as he floundered, desperately trying to claw her off but she was too strong, weakening him into submission, "for the first time in forever I'm free and I'm going to do… _whatever… I… want…"_ she pronounced slowly, getting a sick sense of enjoyment as his cheeks turned even redder, lips darkening to a nasty shade of blue when she decided she had had enough. Bored now. She needed better entertainment. There wasn't exactly a lot of fight left in this guy… she wanted a challenge, something _fun_ to play with.

So, without even hesitating she just twisted his neck so forcefully to the side she heard the snap in his spine, head completely disfigured back to front as he pitched to the ground as lifeless as a rock at her feet.

"Hmmm" she observed, tilting her head curiously to the side, "love it. Neck snapping, straight to the point, can't beat it" she murmured with a smirk, "now _please_ can someone get me a coffee – being dead is _exhausting"_

 **A/N) OKAY IMMA NOT LIE THAT LETTER KILLED ME and oooooh kayla be in mexico same time as everyone else… oooooh fireworks happening at the reunion haha AND OMG ALSO a lot of this seasons humour is actually gonna be due to Kayla – like shes gonna be laidback with a side of psychoticness and playfulness – kinda similar to Harley quinn-ish but also totally badass haha anyways HOW DID YOU LIKE THE FIRST OPENING CHAPTER hope it was alright haah so eager to hear what you think so drop a review and I will see ya real soon x**


	2. Chapter 2 - Long time, no see

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any shape or form – waaaaaaaah, anyways WOWZER you guys all rock, thank you for all the reviews and telling me your thoughts including JellyfishnamedSquid, Ashleymcd25, Mrs Tall Blonde and Dead, Coco, Jocie413, Suzii3499, EllieDragon, moriarty13, Vampir3.S3duction, Amandalucia (omg yes exactly like that, not evil just not able to understand and process emotions and feelings ha), XxxXCherriesXxxX, WickedlyMinx ( ;) ) Padackllinsy, FangirlUnlimited24, Linda96, Guest (ha yes, Stiles will learn self-defence but it's kinda hard to explain like Kayla's not 'evil' per say, she just lacks empathy and emotions because of what happened when she was dead so as more time progresses, we'll see that she slowly starts to feel again even though she doesn't want to but she won't physically hurt Stiles, promise :) ) zvc56 and Chloe for reviewing, you are all my little stars and I love you ha, hope you like this next chapter xxx**

"Is this _really_ necessary?"

"You killed one of my men so yes, it's entirely necessary"

Kayla just scoffed, rolling her eyes, "he was a dumbass anyway, most men are when it comes to pretty girls" she smirked, "he didn't even resist when I compelled him"

"Solidarity confinement might teach you a few things"

"Unlikely" Kayla remarked, stretching her hands in the bulky handcuffs, tugging at the thick chain that kept her tied to the floor of the dark empty room, "I've been through worse"

The older woman just smiled, "Oh trust me, you've felt _nothing_ like the Calavera retribution"

"Cute" Kayla chuckled, "for an old hag you sure do have spunk, but allow me to let you in on a little secret" she beckoned her forward, that dangerous smirk still playing on her lips, "whoever dares cross me will pay… and that's not a threat… it's a promise"

The woman let out a disbelieving noise, "there's wolfsbane and a few other _special_ ingredients that only your kind are susceptible to in those handcuffs… you're not going anywhere" she promised as Kayla curled her bottom lip in anger, "we will wait you out until you're _begging_ for death"

"Not going to happen" she shook her head, "you see, I have my own retribution to deal out and if you think _you_ of all people are going to stop me, it'll be your neck I will be breaking next"

That devious smirk returned to the woman's lips, "game on, enchanted one" and with that she stepped back and slammed the door shut, leaving Kayla in the cold and darkness once again, her eyes burning with pure hate and frustration.

"You'll regret this" she promised quietly, her voice barely above a whisper, "you _all_ will"

* * *

"We're here for Derek Hale"

Stiles nodded, rolling his shoulders a little to untense them, glaring across the table at Araya Calavera, the hunter, "I'm sure you've heard of him – tall, dark and handsome, incredibly broody, bunny teeth?" the hunter looked back, unamused, "there's a rumour going about that you have him"

Araya cocked an eyebrow, placing her open palms against the table and leaning towards he and Lydia, "and who told you that?"

"Your bullets did" Lydia replied, forcing herself to remain as calm as possible, "so we're here to buy him back"

Stiles reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out the wads of cash and spreading them out over the oak table, "there's $50,000 here, _way_ above the going rate for a former Alpha"

"Now where does a teenage boy get money like this?" she questioned curiously, a little bit of a smirk tugging at her lips, "the Japanese mafia by any chance?"

Stiles tried not to flinch but knew his expression gave him away, "none of your business where it came from – it's still cold, hard cash"

Araya chuckled as the two men flagging the door behind them cocked their guns, "it's not smart for two human teenagers to come alone to a place like this. Mexico isn't for the faint hearted"

He just shared a knowing look with Lydia before leaning towards the hunter, "and who says we're alone?"

They had Kira, a badass sword wielding kitsune, Malia, a werecotoye with some serious anger issues, Isaac, a beta with enough brute strength to smash up a car and Scott, a true Alpha… they were _definitely_ not alone. They had a winning pack.

Araya near enough snarled, her dark eyes burning with hatred, "you brought a werewolf into my home?"

"No" he stated, shaking his head, "we brought an Alpha"

And he couldn't help the pleased smirk that pulled at his lips, Lydia next to him nodding knowingly.

"An Alpha… Scott McCall" she mused darkly, fingers curling around the table, "I have heard a lot about him"

"And it's all true" Lydia smiled, "all the stories, every piece of detail about how he took down a whole Alpha pack so if I were you I would take the deal"

"Your timing, my friends, is bad" Araya shook her head, "do you know what the dark moon is?"

"Of course" Stiles murmured, confused as to why the position of the moon had any relevance here, "the time where the moon is least visible in the sky"

"But do you know its _meaning?"_ she persisted and he just stared back blankly, a frown tugging at his brows until he felt Lydia tense up next to him and glanced over worriedly, wondering where her sudden distress had come from.

"The dark moon…" Lydia started, sucking in a sharp breath, "it's a time for reflection. Or grief"

 _Grief…_

Stiles couldn't stop his flinch, his hands tightening around the wooden arms of the chair as he dropped his gaze, the reminder too painful.

"Grief and loss, _mija_. I wonder why, when you and your friends have suffered so much loss, you would risk it again for someone like Derek Hale?"

How did she know what they had suffered? What they had gone through? She spoke like she knew them, like she knew their situation but a cold heartless bitch like that wouldn't understand what they were all going through… what _he_ was going through, _every_ second of _every_ single day. She didn't have the heart to.

His glare turned fiery as he narrowed his eyes at the woman, "maybe we just don't like to lose"

"Don't lie to me, human" she snarled, "I sense your determination and desperation from here. You want Derek Hale back because you have a soft spot for the Hales… but one in particular, am I right?"

He clenched his jaw, anger and sadness in equal amounts racing through his veins.

"I've done my research" she continued, "I know who the Hales are, very well actually" Stiles was sure she smiled as she said that, "he's not your problem anymore, not since the moment your dead lover died"

" _Don't you-"_ he started off exclaiming, his anger brimming to the surface as he went to stand up, to give her a piece of his mind, not caring there was two armed guards standing just feet behind him but was jolted back down into his seat by Lydia grabbing his hood and tugging on it, her grip not letting up.

"Stiles, don't" she warned quietly, "it's exactly what she wants"

He didn't care. Not one bit.

"I just speak the truth" Araya shrugged, "you want him back because then it will feel like you saved someone and didn't fail like last time. Because it _was_ your fault, wasn't it?"

She was pushing it… and Stiles was literally ready to _**explode**_.

But before his hatred and anger could manifest the walkie talkie on the table started crackling, like there was an interruption in the frequency until Scott's low voice boomed through the speaker, "Stiles… take 10k off the table"

"Gladly" he snapped, voice shaking with uncontrollable irritation and resentment as Araya narrowed her dark hooded eyes at them both, "my advice? Take the deal before it's too late… the werewolves aren't the only one with anger issues"

* * *

"So she didn't take the deal, huh?"

"Does it look like she did _genius?"_ Stiles snapped, rolling his eyes in aggravation at Isaac's _amazing_ observation skills – note the sarcasm – "they don't know where Derek is"

"So we wasted an entire trip for nothing?" Malia asked, crossing her arms sulkily and leaning against the pillar of the basement they were locked in.

"Yeah, looks like" he rolled his eyes, trying the sliding door again but it was impossible to move, letting out a frustrated noise and angrily kicking it, the only end result being a very sore foot and not even a dent in the metal, "Ow, _goddammit"_

"It won't open Stiles"

"Well aren't you the king of obvious statements" he grumbled sarcastically at Isaac, sighing in frustration and collapsing back against the cool metal, "and now we're locked up, Lydia's missing – _again_ – and Scott is still unconscious"

"… You could say we're in a bad situation" Kira spoke up, "Okay, really bad situation"

But despite his obvious irritation and frustration Isaac still stepped forward, cocking an eyebrow across as he leaned next to him on the door, inhaling deeply and Stiles just screwed his face up.

"Dude – what the hell?"

Isaac rolled his eyes, "your chemo-signals… they're all wacky. Why are you so angry?"

"Maybe because we're stuck in _Mexico"_ he answered incredulously, "are you really that thick?"

"No… no it's something more" Isaac disagreed, somehow remaining calm despite Stiles' jabs, "you're… on edge. _Sad_. Did she say something to you up there?"

His muscles clenched involuntarily, his heart skipping a beat, "… maybe"

"What was it about?"

"Do you _really_ need to ask?"

Isaac winced, staring across at him sympathetically, "Kay right?"

"She just knew how to push all my buttons… bringing her up like that, like she _knew_ her" Stiles mused, "she basically said that because Kayla's dead that I shouldn't bother with her family… that I shouldn't look for Derek"

"Just because Kay's gone that doesn't mean we all suddenly stop caring for her family… it doesn't work that way"

"Derek's a massive pain in my ass but he's… he's alright" Stiles murmured, "he cared for Kayla – a lot – and he uh… he stopped by, quite a lot actually… at the start, y'know?" referring to the first couple of weeks after Kayla died, "he wanted to make sure I was okay… that's a good guy and if we don't find him then… then we've lost another good person. And we've lost too many good people Isaac"

"I know" he nodded, clapping his shoulder, "but whoever has him, we'll find out and we'll bring him back home alive"

"Yeah… yeah I hope so"

* * *

Solidarity confinement _her ass._

She had already counted seven rats, twelve spiders, twenty six maggots, forty-two cockroaches and a snake. Didn't exactly make the best house guests but she found herself not really caring all that much. She already felt every creepy crawly eating away at her dead corpse like some sort of free-for-all buffet, kind of makes a girl immune to the freaking out part.

"Well aren't you just a beauty" she whispered, reaching out for the dark scaled snake slithering across the concrete floor in front of her, picking it up and letting it curl around her arms, smirking in amusement as it hissed venomously, "what's a pretty little thing like you doing in here, hm? You should be out… poisoning… killing…" she wondered, holding it close to her face, her own steady gaze not dropping from the snake's deadly stare, "that's the way mother nature works… survival of the fittest right?"

But a noise caught her attention, similar to a scuffle or a fight, and she cocked her head to the side curiously, a smirk tugging at her lips.

"Hm… seems like we have some visitors" she mused, letting the snake uncurl from her body and slither back across the floor, listening intently to the noises above, concentrating hard until she heard a shout louder than all the rest, a shout that was _oh so_ familiar.

"Well well well… isn't that a coincidence?" she chuckled, "what a _fun_ reunion this is going to be" and with that she channelled all her distaste and anger at those voices, her bitterness and frustration brimming to the surface as she yanked so forcefully at the chain keeping her locked to the floor that it snapped apart, her strength having no boundaries, fuelled by nothing but desire for revenge.

* * *

"… Kate"

Stiles' panic increased tenfold at that, his eyes wide as he watched his best friend closely, not even caring there was a gun pointing at his head as he sat there, desperate to race out of his seat and check on him, make sure he was free from any injuries.

"Very good" Araya praised, "and you realised that all by yourself"

"Kate's not… she couldn't have… she's _dead"_ Stiles exclaimed, his gaze flitting between Scott collapsing back in his wooden chair in exhaustion, sweat pouring from his body to a terrified and teary eyed Lydia before, finally, catching Kira's relieved stare, "we were at her funeral. Whoever has Derek it is certainly not Kate"

Araya just nodded to one of her men, the one currently pointing the gun at his head and he lowered it, giving Stiles a bit more room to breathe without fearing his brain matter was going to decorate the walls, "Kate Argent did die. But she didn't stay dead"

"… Impossible" he breathed, "that can't-"

"Peter Hale" she reminded him, "it's difficult but not impossible"

"So why does she have Derek? What does she want with him?" Lydia asked, tugging at the rope binding her to the chair, "why kidnap him?"

"Your guess is as good as mine. But she's strong and she's back with a vengeance. That's the problem with the dead that come back-" and for some reason, the hunter's eyes fell on Stiles, "-they don't come back whole. It's not right"

"… Why are you looking at me like that? I've never died"

"Because I know Derek was trying to find a way to bring his cousin back, did he succeed? Was it him?"

Stiles flinched, just like he did every time her death got brought up, "no, no he didn't bring K-Kayla back, he's been missing for weeks"

"So it wasn't him then… interesting…" she mused, talking to herself, "who else would have the power to…"

Stiles gulped nervously, his palms turning sweaty, "what are you talking about? Have the power to do what?"

But before she had time to answer a desperate and terrified shout rang out sending a cold shiver up his spine followed by a series of gunshots echoing throughout the building and it was so unexpected that for a second Stiles thought that he himself had been shot, jolting in his seat and sharing a shocked glance with Scott.

" _Mierda!"_ Araya cursed, her face pinched with anger, "I thought she was contained?"

A couple of guards at the door appeared, cocking their guns, "we have three down already!"

" _Then do something"_ Araya screeched, "don't let her leave"

"Let who leave?" Stiles shouted above the sudden chaos as Kira ran over to Lydia and started untying her binds, "What the _hell_ is happening?"

Araya ignored him at first, brushing past him to wrench open the drawer of her oak table, grabbing a gun from it and loading it up before meeting his worried gaze head on, "you're about to witness first hand exactly why the dead should _stay_ dead"

He wasn't in the mood for cryptic crap especially in a life or death situation like this appeared to be, fearful and agonised shouts echoing in his ears, countless deadly gunshots near deafening them all as Stiles stood up, knocking the chair over in his haste to back the hell away from whatever was happening, Scott pushing Lydia and Kira behind him as his exhausted eyes glowed bright red, all expecting the worst.

… Except then it went silent, eerily silent. There were no more screams, no more guns going off, just the suffocating noise of all their heavy breathing.

"… what is it?" Lydia's terrified silence broke the quiet, "what's happening?"

But Araya didn't lower her gun towards the doorway, her hand steady, "That, Mi querido, is your worst nightmare"

His chest tightened, like an iron fist was clenching around his heart as he gazed towards the open doorway, not really sure what he was expecting – bigfoot maybe, the yeti, hell even a half crazed boogieman but nothing happened, the suspense leaving him a nervous wreck.

"… Maybe it's a false alarm?" he suggested, but no sooner than he said that did a body of the guard get tossed through the open doorway like a ragdoll, landing and spinning painfully across the hard floor and Stiles jumped, wanting to grab something that he could use as self-defence but he had nothing, not even his trusty bat.

And he felt himself gulping, panic swelling through his veins as he faltered back a step, turning his fearful gaze to the entrance and watched, transfixed, as something appeared through.

No, not something… _someone_.

It didn't click at first, his brain not processing the obvious information in front of his very eyes. Because, _surely_ , this was just his sleep deprived mind playing tricks on him, right? His fragile headspace still holding out on some useless hope that maybe, just maybe, he would see her again?

He blinked quickly, his heart thundering against his ribcage, willing the image in front of him to go away because it wasn't real. It couldn't be real. Not this. She was dead, she died in his arms, he remembered that as clear as day… whatever or whoever this was it wasn't her… it _couldn't_ be.

His hands started shaking, gaze widening as the sight in front of him didn't disappear like he expected, his tearful brown eyes soaking up the image, barely even registering the clothes were still the ones they buried her in, smudges of dirt etched into the dark material before he met those unique green eyes, the only eyes he found comfort in only now they seemed distant and cold, totally detached as they peered back at him.

"Hey loverboy" she smirked, raising both her hands that were cuffed and giving a small sarcastic wave, "long time no see"

* * *

He had dreamt of this moment for two months.

Dreamt that he would get to see her again, alive and well, being able to just lay his eyes on her, see her chest rising and falling one more time, holding out that sliver of hope that one day he would wake up and find all of this to be just one big horrendous nightmare and she would be sleeping peacefully next to him.

Only now he had _no_ idea what to do.

Shock paralysed him to the spot, his jaw slackening as he heard Lydia let out a shocked gasp, hands flying to her face and Scott dropping his defensive stance, his chocolate brown eyes widening as they peered over at her.

Two whole months of misery and pain, grief and sadness, fear and loneliness only for all that to be erased in a single second – because she wasn't dead, she was standing just a mere fifteen feet in front of him.

"But… h-how… K-K-Kayla?" he stuttered, tears burning his eyelids as he went to step forward but she just held up a single finger, stopping him in his tracks.

"One moment please" she requested with a sly smirk, barely even batting an eyelid at the three guns pointed at her as she leaned down, wrapping her cuffed hands around the guard's neck that she threw through the door, choking him a little as she jolted him upwards, holding his slack body against hers.

"I have a proposition for my _lovely_ hostess over there" she murmured sarcastically, the chains on the cuffs digging into the guards' neck, slowly turning his face red, "I want out of these damn restraints in the next ten seconds otherwise your little toy will end up with no head"

Araya didn't drop the gun, her lip curling, "you're not going anywhere, no matter how many men of mine you kill"

"That's a shame" she stated, shrugging a shoulder, "he's kinda cute…"

"K-Kaylz what-what are you doing?" he whispered, his voice cracking as he shook his head slowly, "Kaylz… stop"

"Stiles, I thought I said I needed a moment" she said exasperated, "still just as clingy as always"

"Kill him" Araya didn't look put out of place at all, not a single concerned look crossing her face, "he means nothing to me"

Kayla just cocked an eyebrow, pulling her arms back so the chains left indented marks in the mans' neck, his hands trying feebly to push hers away, "fine, I will" she promised without hesitation and the man struggled a little more at that but Kayla's strength proved to be no match for him, starting to slowly choke him to death but what terrified Stiles was that she didn't even bat an eyelid. Self defence he could understand, but plain bloody murder? That he couldn't.

It was then it clicked.

" _That's the problem with the dead that come back - they don't come back whole. It's not right"_

This may be Kayla but it wasn't, not really. Whatever happened, whatever consequences of the dead returning was clearly a high one.

"W-Wait-stop" he rushed out, "Kayla stop-" but she didn't listen, even after he stepped forward to try and talk some sense into her, to tell her that she didn't need to do this, that she was free and safe and alive and he would look after her know, that he was so damn sorry he didn't before, but before he could Kayla just let out a frustrated sound and the next thing Stiles saw was the man collapsing to the floor, his neck half severed and head almost completely decapitated.

"Too late now" she mused and Stiles felt his gut churn, "which is a shame… he really _was_ cute… hm" and she just shrugged, "but that was with a head"

He was shocked into submission, his wide gaze sliding to the side to see his friends just as shocked as he was, their stares filled with caution and confusion.

"Now, where were we?" she asked, "oh, that's right" she clicked her fingers, sauntering forward slowly as the three guns were still trained on her, "I'm not dead but you _probably_ already guessed that so are we all caught up now? Good!" and with that she turned towards Araya, cocking a brow, "now that was me being civil, next time I won't be as nice so how about we try this again?" she suggested, "give me the key so I can get the hell out of these"

"Not a chance" Araya hissed, "and you take one more step I'll shoot you where you stand"

Kayla chuckled in amusement, "no you won't. You want me to kill myself, _that's_ the tradition" she said knowingly.

"Don't be so sure encantado"

"You're _bluffing_ " Kayla whispered, eyes dazzling.

Stiles felt like he couldn't breathe, his gaze tunnelling and stomach clenching uncomfortably to the point where he wanted to be sick, combinations of fear and relief spreading through his veins.

His Kaylz was alive… but at what cost?

"Kay… how are you… how did you…?" Lydia's whispered trailed off into nothing, her tearful gaze totally and completely fixated on her best friend, the one she watched die in front of her very eyes, _"how?"_

Kayla smirked, "I don't know and I don't care" she answered simply, "but let me tell you something, digging yourself out of your own grave isn't as easy as it looks but it sure was a Kodak moment" she laughed a little, biting her lip to stop her smirk, "but do you want to know what kind of pissed me off? The fact I was left, dumped alone like I was nothing… Allison got a coffin, why didn't I?" And the shake in his hands increased, her dark furious tone sending a shiver up his spine, "I thought I _meant_ something to you?"

"You do-"

" _Bullshit"_ she exclaimed, cutting off Lydia's tearful explanation, "and after everything I did for you…" and he met her gaze, that cold calculating empty stare of hers and felt himself slowly dying inside, "but no matter, what's done is done" she shrugged, suddenly losing that hatred and anger, that playful glint returning to her eyes, "and now I'm back…" she fixated on his stare, "did you miss me baby?"

He froze again, having never felt so vulnerable, not even caring she just murdered a guy right in front of him, barely even registering how wrong this all was, that Kayla wasn't acting like Kayla because all he could think about was how she was alive… how he _finally_ got to see her again after all these months, see those bright green eyes and the playful glint in her gaze, his memories of her not doing how truly beautiful she was justice.

Beautiful, but deadly.

He felt himself nodding, tears blurring themselves forward as he got sucked in, that broken heart of itself slowly starting to mend and she just smirked, cocking her head to the side.

"Aw baby… don't cry" she said in faux sympathy, slowly inching forward-closer and closer to him until he was immersed in bright green, unable to see anything else, "there's no need to be sad anymore… this is what you've wanted, isn't it? Me back?"

"Y-You have no idea" he breathed out shakily, "K-Kaylz please, please just listen to me okay? Whatever you're feeling, however angry, you can overcome it alright? You don't have to-have to kill people, not anymore. I'm going to get you out of here alright? I'll protect you-"

Her laugh interrupted him, raising her cuffed hands to place a single finger over his lips and he immediately silenced himself, warming under her touch, "Stiles…" even just the sound of his name leaving her lips again made him stop in his tracks, lost in the moment, "… don't speak" she hushed gently, "not if all you're going to say is more lies…" and her voice was so soft, so tranquil he could barely focus on the words leaving her lips, "you didn't protect me before, did you?"

He jolted a little, unable to tear his gaze away, "I-I tried-"

But her hands gently shoved at his chest, pushing him down into the wooden seat and throwing a leg over his hips, straddling his lap and linking her cuffed hands around his neck.

"Now now baby, don't get all het up" she whispered, smirking as she played with the wispy bits of hair on the back of his neck, "there's no need to lie, not to me" she then swivelled her hips a little, pulling her body closer to his, "that's why I'm going to let you in on a little secret, alright?"

All he could hear was his heart beating furiously, the blood rushing to his ears like a tsunami but he found himself nodding, totally engrossed in her presence.

"I remember loving you… loving every inch of your body, your mind…" she whispered, sliding her slender fingers through his hair and tugging his head back a little, circling her hips playfully as he felt the ghost of her lips on his, her warm breath fanning across his face, "… willing to do _anything_ for you but now?... now I feel nothing" she whispered calmly, "I don't love you because I'm not capable of that. I'm not even sorry because I… don't… _care_ …" she emphasised slowly and Stiles' heart broke all over again, his body quivering underneath his, "I may be alive Stiles… but all that's between us is memories" and with that she clenched handfuls of his hair in her fists, tugging at it gently as she finally closed the small gap between their lips, kissing him slowly at first, sucking him into the toxic and calming place her lips sent him before holding him tighter, rolling her body against his and the kiss turned deeper.

And he felt himself getting lost, completely and utterly _lost_. His rational thoughts escaping him as she kissed him with so much desperation and gusto anyone would think it was full out passion but he sensed the emptiness as their lips moved – she was right, there was no love or emotion in this kiss, it was void and empty, like a means to an end.

She may be alive… but Stiles had still lost her.

His chest tightened, lack of air making him lightheaded as Kayla slowed down their lips, playfully biting down on his lower lip and pulling it away from him, the bite so feisty he felt the skin break and a small pinprick of blood swell over his lip.

"Hmmm… thanks" she whispered and he opened his eyes, seeing her gaze now glowing that bright dangerous green he used to love so much, hands dropping from his hair as she yanked so forcefully at the cuffs they shattered apart.

He was right… the kiss was a means to an end. A way to give herself a rush of power to free herself.

"You could _always_ make me tingle" she smirked, sliding her palms across to rest over his cheeks, tilting his head a little to the side so she could lean down to whisper in his ear, "but make no mistake Stiles… our past doesn't define us" her lips glided along the lobe of his ear, hair tickling his cheek, "you have no idea what it was like… being dead… trapped there…" and he shivered at her calm voice, brimming with unheard rage, "wondering why I even bothered saving you…"

A single tear fell down his cheek at that, hating himself just that little bit more, "so I have a little message I want you to remember, from yours truly" and he was sure she smirked as she said that, twisting her hips again so they were moulded together completely, like one, "I will _end_ you Stiles… I don't care how long it takes, how long I have to chip away at you until there's nothing left… I want to _punish_ you for making me ever fall in love with you because you're cursed. Everyone around you _dies…"_ she pulled back a little, pressing her forehead against hers, "but don't worry… I won't lay a hand on you" she vowed, "this face is too pretty to harm, and you never know…" she smirked deviously, "I might want your body again-" a single finger trailed down his chest at that, "-you are the only one capable of hitting every single spot _all_ the time" and with that she sent him a playful wink, smirk not dropping from her face as she pushed herself up, eyes still glowing that dangerous warning green and not even sparing a second as she flicked her hands and the guns in the hunters grips went flying, careening through the air and smashing into the opposite wall.

"Now it has been _fun_ but if you'll excuse me-" she gave a sarcastic little bow, "-I have a lot of time to make up for" and she spun around, striding from the room as everyone just watched her go in shock, "but I'll be sure to rate your hospitality a 10 outta 10 on tripadvisor"

 **A/N) AHAHAHAHA *cackles madly in distance* IM GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN GUYS HAHA, you guys maybe not so much – IM KIDDING IM KIDDING hahaha but what do y'all think so far? Kayla is so different lol, but the upcoming chapters will be so fun cos she'll be so unempathatic and blunter than normal and all around blurring the lines between good and bad hahaha poor stiles lol anyways please please review I love you all, so eager to hear your thoughts and see ya real soon x**


	3. Chapter 3 - Let's have a little fun

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any shape or form - wow you guys are legit the best like wow, blown away by all your support including Amandalucia (eventually I promise ha), WitchLove, Jocie413 (omg yes can see the resemblance ha), AvengersPrincess15, Luna888, Guest, JellyfishnamedSquid, mrs Tall Blonde and Dead, EllieDragon, FlaminPanda, Chloe, BeccaSco, zvc56, linda96, Suzii3499 and guest, I love you all, hope you like this next chapter ;)**

"For real?"

"Yeah" Stiles nodded, peering up at Isaac, "she's… she's alive"

The information eventually sank in, Isaac's face starting to slowly light up as a bright smile pulled at his lips, "oh my god, that's great, Derek must've-"

"It wasn't Derek"

"Well whoever it was I'll be sending a thank you card… why don't you look happy about this?" he questioned in confusion, "It's **Kayla** alright? You're head over heels for her and she's _alive_ Stiles – a smile would be nice"

He shared a worried look with Scott, Lydia biting her thumb nail and Kira next to her looking around nervously, like she was scared Kayla would appear from the shadows and cut her in half and there was Malia, a frown tugging at her brows as she stared between them all in nothing but pure and utter confusion because she just didn't _get it_ … human emotions were **way** too complicated.

"I-I am happy" he insisted but it was rather half-hearted, shock still surging through his veins, not able to grasp the reality he was in, "I've been dreaming of this moment for months…."

"Then what the hell's the matter?" Isaac questioned, frowning as he realised that judging by their expressions that something was clearly _way_ off.

"She's not… she's not Kayla" he explained feebly, "she's not herself"

Isaac fell back a step as Malia perked up a little, watching and observing the range of emotions that flickered across his expression, trying to understand the feelings he was experiencing.

"What do you mean?"

"She came back _wrong"_ and they all glanced up at Araya standing in the doorway, face half covered with shadows and an angry scowl twisting her features, "heartless, unfeeling, dangerous… the perfect killing machine" she murmured, "exactly like her ancestors, trust me, I know" and she stepped closer to them, the dim overhead light lighting up her aging features, "I'm one of them"

"… What?" Stiles mumbled, "one of them? One of who?"

But it was Lydia that figured it out, her pale green eyes widening as she let out a small gasp, "you're… that's why you never killed her back there – not because you couldn't but because a part of you didn't want to" she whispered, "Kayla never met her grandmother and now I know why… because she was too busy being a hunter to bother" and Stiles' brain was working way to slow to grasp any of this, his head spinning, "you're her grandmother"

Araya didn't even flinch, hell she hardly changed her expression at that statement, "Biologically? Maybe" she agreed, "but once Jody got to her age and started displaying the subtle signs of having the encantado gene I knew her first born girl would get the brunt of it and I had to make a choice – family, or being a hunter… and I choose the latter. The genes are dormant in me but in Kayla, now? They're out full force and you are all in her firing line" she warned, "as well as anyone that crosses her path"

Stiles gulped, "you're wrong. You don't even know her" he accused angrily, "she's in there somewhere, I know she is"

"You're blinded by love" she observed, "that was a mistake I couldn't afford to make. To love is to be weak and to be weak is to lose and I don't like to lose"

"No" he disagreed heatedly, "I'll _make_ her remember… I'll _show_ her how much I love her and then she'll be okay – we'll be okay" he nodded affirmatively, angrily brushing past her, "I don't care what it takes"

There was a brief pause that settled above him as he angrily tried to stalk away but her gruff sharp tone stopped him in his tracks, his skin chilling all the way to the bone.

"You don't know where she was, do you?"

He froze, body tensing as horrific images crossed his mind, his mind plaguing him of all the terrible things and it physically hurt him, his chest aching as he struggled for breath.

"When she was d-dead?" he asked, slowly turning back around, "no… no I don't"

"Just as well" Araya nodded, "it's not for the fainthearted. It's no surprise she turned – flicked off the switch"

"Screw you" he snapped, "she's already had enough people give up on her, I'm not going to add another name to that list. I will get her back, no matter what" he vowed, "I'm not like you that can just walk away when it gets hard but you know what?" he clenched his fists at his sides, "I can see where Jody gets it from"

And, by some miracle, she didn't kill him where he stood.

* * *

"Yup… you still have it" Kayla told her reflection confidently, doing a playful little twirl, "not that you didn't always but _damn_ girl…" she dragged out her whistle, tugging at the leather jacket as she admired her figure, "maybe a two month nap did you good"

Because, no joke, she had never felt or looked this good – so free, no worries, not the constant weight of the weight on her shoulders, it was rejuvenating.

"Hmmm, what do you think?" she spun around to the lady tied up in the corner of the room, "too much cleavage?"

But the woman was too busy sobbing against her gag to say anything and Kayla just pouted.

"Well you aren't very helpful are you?" she asked, tutting loudly and shaking her head, "no wonder retail is going to shit" but she shrugged never the less, "never-mind, of course it's not too much cleavage - there is no such thing" she laughed, smoothing out the dark purple material of the crop top under the leather jacket, the plunging V-neck emphasising her slight figure and curve of her breasts, high waisted black skinny jeans hugging her hips and small waist, "shame about the service though. What happened to being charitable?" she asked innocently, creeping forward to kneel in front of the crying woman, "being dead and then kidnapped meant I didn't exactly have time to grab my purse…"

The dark haired Mexican woman just screwed her eyes shut, tears streaming down her cheeks and soaking into the grubby white cloth tied tightly around her mouth as Kayla reached forward and roughly tugged it from her, dropping it to the side.

"If I was your boss I would've fired you by now"

"Por favor, por favor señora, por favor-"

"Please what? Let you go?" Kayla wondered, twisting her lips as she pretended to think it over, "it doesn't work that way sweetie… you were rude to me. I don't like rude people" she whispered the last bit, reaching up to grab the gun she left laying on one of the shelves and pointing it into her chest and the woman let out a strangled gasp, fresh tears streaming down her blotchy cheeks.

"No, no por favor, por favor señora-"

"Do you have kids?"

The woman nodded straight away, holding up a single shaky hand and pointing three fingers at her, "sí señora, tres, tres niños señora, por favor-"

"Three kids huh? Wow" she said blandly, "I actually kinda pity you. Kids are a waste of time"

"No, no por favor-"

"Shhhhh" and the woman silenced herself, her bottom lip wobbling as Kayla dug the barrel of the gun directly into her chest just above her racing heart, "stop speaking… your whiny voice is grating on my nerves" and she whimpered but stayed silent, curling back against the wall, "but I guess I can be forgiving… you can go" she stood up, still pointing the gun at her and indicated towards the ajar door at the front of the ratty old store _, "now_ lady, I don't have all day you know"

She jumped to her feet, hands still tied in front of her as she dashed past her, starting to sob heavily and just as she went to grab the door handle Kayla just laughed, aiming with precise precision with a steady hand as the gunshot rang out loudly and the woman plunged forward, collapsing into the glass door and it shattered on impact, sharp glass shards cutting up her skin as she collapsed, blood pouring from the wound in her back.

"… I lied" Kayla shrugged, dropping the gun as she snorted, "I would say sorry but the thing is… I'm not" she answered quietly, stepping over her bleeding body as she lay there choking on her own blood, "but that looks nasty, here-" she reached forward, grabbing a packet of band aids and dropping them next to her as she laughed at the pathetic image below her, "-I know healthcare can be a bitch of a price" and with that she just walked out, slamming the broken door shut behind her, sauntering across the town as countless pairs of wary eyes watched her.

And she met every gaze totally calmly, her stare borderline angry and full of warning and soon those eyes dropped to the ground, sensing the danger.

She made her way back to where she saw Stiles' jeep parked, smirking to herself as she hopped up onto the hood of the jeep and relaxed back against the window, tapping her fingers along her bare stomach until she heard the voices approaching.

May as well have a little fun first, she found messing with the emotions of those that used to be close to her was actually quite amusing and didn't take a whole lot of effort on her part. Just watching them all tongue tied and nervous, staring at her like she was the reincarnation of Jesus was enough to make her chuckle to herself.

"-you want us to find Kate who has Derek out in some creepy abandoned church when we should be looking for _-Kayla?"_

"That's my name, don't wear it out" she smirked, titling her head across the glass window and sending her former group of friends a playful smirk, "and there's no need to look for me, I'm right here"

Stiles' jaw slackened, his eyes widening as they fell on her, "you're still here"

"You have _great_ observation skills" she murmured sarcastically, pushing herself up and sliding gracefully off the front of the jeep, "I thought you were supposed to be the smart one baby?"

He gulped, eyes scanning over attire but before he had a chance to slur out some jumbled words – words that would no doubt be all about love and commitment which was so _bleh_ by the way – Isaac stepped forward, his stare widening as they peered over at her.

"… It's true" he whispered, blinking a few times like he thought the image of her would disappear, "I couldn't let myself believe it until… until I saw it"

"Hey bestie" she winked, "still just as hot as you always were I see" she playfully remarked, twirling a strand of long hair around her finger, "It's times like this I'm happy I have my eyes back"

"You are straight up crazy" Malia dead-panned, crossing her arms as she frowned at her.

"Thanks for the compliment"

"It wasn't one"

"It was to me" She smirked, "better than being dead anyway. So-" she cocked an eyebrow, staring over at her former friends expectantly, not even batting an eyelid as Araya snarled at her, "-do you have snacks for this road trip? My stomach's been empty for like two months… excluding the maggots" she stage-whispered playfully as they all flinched, "I feel like I'm craving beef jerky"

Kira was the first to blink out of her confused state, "road trip?"

"You all want to do some pathetic rescue mission for that dear older cousin of mine and I want to rip that bitch's face off – win win"

"You think you can kill Kate?" Araya let out a disbelieving chuckle, "she has killed countless men of mine"

"And I killed three in under thirty seconds" she said, completely straight-faced, "I guess that classes me as a serial killer, hm?"

"Y-You'll come with us?" Stiles stuttered out urgently, "you won't leave?"

"Stiles, tone down the desperation" she advised, "it's embarrassing"

He stepped forward, wringing his clammy hands together nervously, "I don't care just… just say you'll stay with me, alright?"

Her amused stare soon turned a little sultry, gaze boring into his with enough burning sexual tension to light the town on fire, "well, that depends on how you can keep me ' _entertained'_ …" she said quietly, her tone full of meaning, "how do you plan on doing that Stiles?"

He swallowed again, Adam's apple bobbing up and down nervously, "we can… we can talk… I need to speak to you and-and understand what happened-"

"Oh boy" she rolled her eyes, "the fun police are back" she sighed loudly, "I'm not in the mood for pillow talk Stiles – I died and now I'm back, what's so complicated about that for your little narrow minded mind to grasp hm?"

He flinched at her unfeeling tone, his eyes immediately saddening, "two months Kaylz… two months you were g-gone and now you're just-you're _here_ and I don't know how or why and a part of me doesn't even care because at least you're alive… but I _need_ to understand, work with me here Kaylz _please?"_

She cocked her head to the side, pretending to think it over, "talking is boring and I'm in the mood for some fun… now you _used_ to be fun" she pouted a little, eyes sparkling, "anywhere, anytime… you're losing brownie points here Stiles" she pointed out, muffling her laugh.

But just as he opened his mouth to reply, the entire group behind him staring between them like an interesting tennis match, the roar of a motorcycle engine made them all pause and glance to the side to see a woman clad in leather skidding to a graceful stop just a few feet away from Kayla, removing her helmet and shaking out her long dark hair so it fell in gentle waves around her shoulders.

"Wait… _Braeden?"_ Scott asked in shock, "you're going to be our guide?"

"The money's good" the woman replied, sliding off the leather seat, "oh and by the way you have a dead Jane Doe about five hundred yards that way" she pointed behind her, "probably murder"

"…Whoops" she snorted, "I guess I wasn't very subtle huh?" she faked a wince, "I should probably work on that"

Braeden's face twisted into shock and then anger, pulling a gun from the back of her leather pants and pointing it straight at her, "hands on your head, now"

"We're not on some American cop show sweetheart" she rolled her eyes, reaching out and grabbing the gun, slowly moving the barrel so it was pressed against her forehead, "and if you really want to go for a kill shot you _have_ to aim for the head – a lot of people get caught out with that one"

The woman faltered and Kayla took that as her perfect opportunity, arm shooting forward and painfully knocking the gun from her hand, grabbing a hold of her wrist and yanking it behind her back, slamming her head first onto the hood of the jeep.

"Much better" she purred appreciatively, pulling her arm further back as she tried to jolt out of Kayla's killer grasp, "point a gun at me again and it'll be your spine I rip out to beat you with"

"Whoa, Kaylz stop-"

"Relax Stiles" she sent him a grin, "we're just having a little fun, aren't we?"

Braeden let out an inaudible wince, twisting her head against the cool metal to peer back at her, "I'm going to look forward to pumping you full of bullets"

"Big words" she let out a long drawn out whistle, "especially for someone whose arm I'm going to snap off in three… two… on-"

" _Okay okay,_ we can have all the fun you want" Stiles rushed out, panicked as he watched her arm starting to bend to an awkward angle, "you win Kaylz just don't-don't hurt her"

She paused in her actions, sending him a thoughtful look, "Oh, I wasn't going to hurt her" she stated and watched as surprise crossed all their features, "I was going to kill her" she added bluntly, " _after_ the torture, at least get your facts straight"

"She can lead us to Derek" he continued, "remember Derek?"

"I died temporarily Stiles, I didn't have memory loss"

"He's your cousin Kaylz, you love him… don't you want to save him? Because Braeden is the only one that can help us with that, if you hurt her…"

He never finished his thought, trailing off to peer over at her with wide thoughtful eyes and she just stared back evenly, increasing her grip around Braeden as she struggled.

"Derek can rot in hell for all I care" she muttered offhandedly, "but I feel like napping soon so I'll let you go" she stepped away from the woman, "being dead is more exhausting than it looks, it's not all lying down and doing nothing y'know"

They each flinched, even Braeden who didn't even know her let out a small one (though that may have been due to the fact her arm was this-close to being snapped in half), the entire group falling silent again.

"Don't think you've won, seductress" Araya warned, "you've made an even bigger enemy today"

"I'm shaking in my boots" she smirked, "really, what a _terrifying_ threat"

"One day, and one day soon, you will see what Calavera retribution really tastes like"

"And that, right there, was _your_ biggest mistake" she sauntered forward a few steps, her gaze eerily calm but burning bright with hatred, "threaten me and I'll show you _exactly_ what I can do and I'll let you in on a little secret… it's a lot more than knowing how to wield a gun"

Araya's bottom lip curled, "watch your back"

She snorted, tilting her head to the side and broke out into a smile, "no… watch yours" she sent her a wink, raising her hand, waving sarcastically, "bye-bye now"

The woman's eyes narrowed, her lips thinning into a straight line as she sent her one last furious look before turning on her heel and stalking away and Kayla just clapped her hands together, grinning at each person in the group, "yay, road trip time but for real - who do I have to kill to get some beef jerky around here?"

Scott's eyes widened, taking a bold brave move and stepping up next to her, "Kayla, no killing people"

"Oh relax, I was joking" she slapped his chest, "or was I?" she teased, eyes twinkling with amusement, "guess you'll never know"

"I-I saw a grocery store back that way, I'll-I'll go get some" Kira offered nervously, gulping back her apprehension, "I mean… if-if you want me to?"

"Uh _duh_ " Kayla replied obviously, "off you scuttle, chop-chop"

Kira jumped as if she thought Kayla would reach out and snap her neck, nodding quickly and started to dash off, Malia shouting a quick, "wait, I'll come with you", sending Kayla a glare as she followed after Kira, muttering under her breath about how she wished Kayla would crawl back into the hole she came from.

"I liked her better as a coyote" she murmured, "at least then she couldn't speak"

"Hale… what the hell happened to you?" Isaac whispered sadly, "you were never this person, you had heart"

"That was the problem" she replied, "caring too much just got me dead" her eyes slid across to Stiles who seemed to curl inwards at her stare, "now I know not to make that same mistake again"

"You can't just switch off your emotions Kay, it doesn't work that way" Lydia said sadly, "pretending not to feel doesn't stop the pain for long"

"Who said I was pretending?" she snorted, "and don't try to understand Lydia, this isn't the time for your big-headed IQ thank you very much"

Lydia flinched, staring over at her with wide eyes, "Kayla… we all… we all love you" she whispered, "and we missed you… so much"

"Did you?" she challenged, scoffing under her breath, "because waking up choking on the dirt you all shovelled on top of me didn't feel like love now where the _hell_ is my beef jerky?"

"Here, here" Kira rushed out, rounding the corner with Malia and thrusting the packets into her hands, "sorry"

"As you should be" she immediately replied with before breaking out into a wide smile as Kira looked up at her, terrified, "y'all need to loosen up a little, I'm kidding. I have no reason to kill you all except for my own short-lived satisfaction, I'm the bigger picture kind of girl so chill, you're all safe" she ripped the top of the packet open, taking out a single strip of beef jerky and popping it in her mouth, "hand on heart, hope to die, all that jazz"

"We should get going" Braeden interrupted in a hard tone, not dropping her disgusted and angry stare from Kayla, "before it gets dark… la iglesia is a dangerous place"

"The church?"

"It's not a place you'll find god"

"God?" Kayla scoffed, chamming on the jerky, "there's no such thing"

Braeden finally dropped her glare, soft eyes moving towards Scott, "I have a spare seat on my motorcycle, the jeep will be full" and with that she slid on the motorcycle, Scott wordlessly following her but he stopped across from Stiles, sending Kayla a nervous look.

"Will you be okay?"

"Yeah… yeah we'll be fine" Stiles claimed, "everything will be fine"

And with that they all crowded into the cramped space, Lydia, Malia and Kira in the back, Isaac stuck in the very back on the floor peering over the tops of the back seats and Kayla slid in next to Stiles, holding out the packet of beef jerky under his nose, "want some?"

He swallowed again, face a sickly pale colour, "uh… no… no thanks"

"Your loss" she shrugged, not bothering buckling up her seatbelt as she crossed her legs and he started the engine, the jeep rumbling to life noisily, "but I'm not complaining, more for me"

He kept glancing over to her as he manoeuvred his way from the small town, his gaze sliding down her body before they kept trying to find her eyes, his head whipping back and forth between her and the road.

"… Well it's too late now, they're all gone" she scrunched up the empty pocket, shoving it in the cup holder, "you really should've said something sooner"

"What? No Kaylz, forget the beef jerky-"

"I would _never_ forget beef jerky"

"-please just tell me what the hell happened" he requested, borderline desperate, "everything… I need to know everything"

"It's a boring story" she dismissed, "why? Haven't you got your head around me being back yet?"

He shook his head quickly, hands shaking slightly as they tightened around the steering wheel, sweaty palms making imprints on the worn leather, "it doesn't feel real"

"Well let me help you out a little" she whispered, slowly inching along the bench seat and sliding her hand around his knee joint, unable to hold back her grin as he jolted, "this… all of this…" she dug her nails in gently, dragging her hand that little bit higher, "… is _very_ real…" her grin turning into a smirk of delight as his chest rose and fell rapidly, "…it's not one of your kinky wet dreams…" and with that she slid her hand up further, stroking the inside of his upper thigh, "does that help?"

His jaw was clenched, breathing rate increasing the closer she got to him, arms touching and she felt herself coming alive as she got lost in the raw scent – woody and just that little bit sweaty, the seductress part of her wanting nothing more than to take what she wanted, knowing she would find power and undeniable pleasure in his body but she refrained, biting her lip as she felt her body hum in appreciation.

"Kaylz… why are you doing this?" he asked helplessly, a small frown tugging at his brows, looking to be on the verge of tears and she just smirked, tightening her grip around his thigh.

"Because I can"

And it was true… she was free, unrestrained and had never felt so powerful – she could do what or whoever she wanted and that was definitely not an opportunity she was going to pass up.

"But… I… I love you" he whispered, twisting his head to meet her playful gaze, "don't you feel anything for me… at all?"

She shrugged a shoulder, inching closer to them so their hips touched, "do you want me to lie to you, say that I do and pretend we have a chance at a happy ever after or do you want the truth?"

He faltered at that, gaze finding the road again as he froze, breaking apart in front of her very eyes.

"The truth is I feel nothing" she whispered, her finger tracing circles along his thigh, "not for you, not for anyone in this jeep, not for _anything_. I want  fun Stiles, I want to dress the way I want, drink what I want and have sex with _whoever_ I want, _whenever_ I want" she explained, "I might be alive Stiles… but the Kayla you knew, the one you _claim_ to love is still dead"

He flinched at that, shaking his head stubbornly, "no… no I don't believe that"

"Believe what you want but it's the truth" she said calmly, smirking as she glanced down and watched her hand stroking his upper thigh, eyes dazzling with amusement and lust as she peeked up at him through her eyelashes, "Aw… is this turning you on baby?", letting out a small chuckle to herself as she noticed the small bulge beneath his slacks, how his skin dampened that little bit more with sweat, cheeks flushing, "stop the jeep if you want... I can fix that problem for you"

He inhaled deeply, trying to calm his nerves as he met her gaze again, ignoring her sultry statement "I'm never going to stop loving you... no matter what you do"

"That's sweet" she deadpanned in a pitying tone, "but will you still be saying that when I pile up all the dead bodies on your doorstep, hm?" she cocked her head to the side, playfully trailing her hand across his crotch, "or when I have my legs wrapped around some other guy… or girl?" she added, "how about when I fuck my way through everyone you hate, just out of spite, for no other reason so you can look at them every day and imagine them touching me like that, the way you used to do every night… does your love extend _that_ far Stiles?"

He fell silent, a rare accomplishment, and if she didn't know him as well as she did she might've mistaken his silence as anger but it wasn't that. She could read him like a book and this silence, right now, was nothing but despair.

She was breaking him, slowly cracking him apart.

"I know it hurts" she soothed, "but so does a sword through the chest, I think you got off easy hm?"

"E-Easy?" he croaked out, eyes pooling with tears and he met her stare again, "the last two months were anything _but_ easy Kaylz… the guilt, the nightmares, wanting nothing more than you back… actually contemplating just ending it all because it hurt _that much…_ I didn't get off easy, none of us did"

"Oh boo-hoo" she scoffed, "people lose people every-day, get over it" she advised coldheartedly, "and if this is some pathetic attempt to try and make me feel sorry for you then it's not working, it just turns me on in a weird way" she slid her hand back to his thigh, stroking it gently, "now you promised me some fun and this… this _isn't_ fun"

He bit his bottom lip, eyes sliding back to the road again, "what-what do you want to do?"

"I think you know _exactly_ what I want to do" she purred quietly, pulling her hand over the soft material of his slacks only to slip it up underneath his shirt and tee, dragging her nails through the dusting of hair along his navel, "I was never a subtle person Stiles, that's never changed"

He tensed up a little, freezing beneath her touch, "is that the only attraction you feel? Sexual?"

"It's all I _can_ feel" she whispered, leaning up to gently wrap her lips around his earlobe, biting down gently and chuckling as he twitched against her, "and you Stiles... you were always so good at that, making me feel so many things..." she trailed off, flicking her tongue across the fleshy lobe of his ear, "but I wanna ask you some questions first"

"Questions?"

"Uh huh" she confirmed, dragging her lips along his cheek, "and you're gonna answer them honestly, aren't you?"

He sighed a little as her lips continued across his jawline, dipping down to playfully nip at the exposed skin of his neck above his shirt collar.

"What… what do you want to know?"

She grinned against his clammy skin, knowing she had him exactly where she wanted him, pulling back a little to watch his expression, her hand still creeping higher and higher underneath his tee.

"Did you hook up with anyone else?" she asked quietly, "did you distract yourself from the pain by fucking some other girl?"

Stiles froze again, his hands gripping the steering wheel for dear life as he blinked quickly, his heart thundering against his ribcage and she just watched this, totally amused.

"… N-No"

"Liar" she smirked, her palm finally resting against his bare chest, feeling his heart race beneath her touch, "I thought you were going to be honest Stiles?"

"I… I didn't-"

"Who was it?" she continued, "was she pretty?"

"Kayla-"

"I'm just catching up on some things Stiles" she answered innocently, holding back her chuckles as he squirmed uncomfortably, "I just want to know who you screwed to try and forget about me, it's fine, we're all adults here"

His breathing pace increased, the panic and guilt setting in full force, "I never-"

"You can stop lying to me Stiles, I know all your tells" she whispered, "don't be in denial… you fucked some other chic because you could, because you had no ties, trust me, I get it" she acknowledged, "was she better than me?" but at that she had to laugh, "nah she couldn't have been, we all know I'm the best you'll ever have"

"I didn't sleep with her" he claimed shakily, "we-we just-… we didn't actually-"

"But you were close to, weren't you?" she whispered, smirking as he flushed red, her questions and prodding making him uncomfortable, "apart of you wanted to _fuck_ her until all you could feel was the promise of pleasure she offered - so don't try and guilt trip me into wanting to feel things Stiles when you couldn't even keep your dick in your pants for two months… guess you didn't miss me that much then after all, huh?"

That statement really hit home for him, his chest constricting as he whipped his head around to peer at her, his eyes as wide as saucers but no words left his mouth, totally and utterly stuck for words, for an _explanation_ even. That night at the bar was a mistake and he had felt guilty ever since.

"So when we get the hell out of Mexico I'm going to do _exactly_ what you did Stiles – kiss who I want and fuck who I want, you know why?" she lowered her forehead, leaning forward to whisper in his ear, her hot breath sending shivers down his spine, " _because… I… can…"_ letting out a small giggle, "does that make you jealous? Does it break your heart imagining me with all those people Stiles? their hands on me... naked, sweaty bodies... my legs wrapped around them...?"

She took his silence as a yes, pushing herself across the seat a little away from him, "good" she sent him a playful wink, "I'll be sure to send you the very detailed videos over snapchat"

"Hale, c'mon, what are you doing?" Isaac interrupted, leaning over the back of the seats, "stop it"

"Why should I?" she asked, twisting around in her seat, "I'm finally free to be who I am… I'm not gonna hold back because some spaztic teenager can't get over his puppy-dog love"

"You're not Kayla" Isaac shook his head, "she would never be this cold-hearted"

"You're right" she flashed him a smile, "I'm better"

"What the hell happened to you to make you like this?" Isaac asked in confusion, his face one of agony as he peered over at her, "tell us so we could at least try and understand Kay…"

She ignored his question, kneeling on the seat and flicking her gaze to the side of Stiles' head, "maybe I'll screw Isaac first – we all know he still has the hots for me a little"

No one said anything, shocked into silence and knowing they would get nowhere with her as she slid back down in her seat, Isaac still a little red-faced and embarrassed as Stiles met his gaze in the rear-view mirror, thinking it best not to say anything to make matters worse.

"… so who the hell is Kate?" Malia piped up, "why haven't we heard of her before now?"

Stiles still had his gaze locked on the road ahead, too hurt to even acknowledge Malia's words and Kayla grinned to herself, tapping her fingers along the passenger side window pane.

"I uh… would actually kind of like to know too" Kira mumbled quietly.

"Kate's an Argent… she was Allison's aunt" Lydia answered eventually, sadness evident in her voice.

"Was?"

"She died" Isaac answered glumly, "but apparently she didn't stay dead… seems to be happening a lot recently"

She smirked to herself at his tone, slowly swivelling around to kneel on the seat to face the group behind her.

"C'mon guys, don't sugarcoat it for the newbies. Kate Argent is a sociopathic narcissistic _bitch_ who was so full of herself she believed she had the right to take lives and cause pain wherever she went and she did it all with a smile"

"So like you then?" Malia frowned, gazing across at her thoughtfully.

"Yeah but I do it _so_ much better" she winked, "the point is she's just straight up unlikable, set all my family on fire – not that I care about that **now** but I'm pissed off I was there and ended up in Eichen house because of it. Peter killed her too quickly, she didn't suffer enough… he should've broke her back, rendered her paralysed from the waist down and tortured her until she was _begging_ for mercy, pleading for forgiveness and then _bam-"_ she clapped her hands together loudly so that everyone in the jeep jumped, totally startled, "-cave her head in with a hammer"

"… classy" Isaac murmured, "very tactful"

She smirked, dropping back into her seat and moving her gaze over to Stiles who still hadn't said a word, his mouth twisting in on itself like he was trying to hold back tears, his right leg tapping the floor of the jeep nervously.

"Were my words too harsh baby?" she pouted playfully, "I'm sorry… forgive me?" she smirked, sliding across the leather so she was right next to him, raising a hand and running it through his sweaty untameable hair, "I was just putting my point across"

His bottom lip wobbled a little, eyes welling up with clear crystal tears, "it doesn't matter what you do… how bad you try and hurt me or how many people you sleep with to make me mad, I will never… _never_ …. Give up on you" he whispered, tilting his head to the side to stare at her, "I will never give up on us and I will always be fighting your corner"

"Big words" she whistled, "I wonder how long you'll stick to them?"

"… Forever"

"Forever's a long time Stiles, trust me… I know" she said darkly.

He blinked again, grip tightening around the wheel, "I don't care what it takes, I'll make you feel again even if it's the last thing I ever do"

"Morbid much?" she chuckled, "and who says I won't just kill you as soon as you're done being our personal little chauffer?"

He stiffened at that and she had to laugh, raising her hand to muffle her chuckles, "jeez relax Stiles, I'm joking… maybe. Ha. No I'm definitely joking, lighten up" she playfully shoved his shoulder, "but, for real, I really need a nap" she added, "maybe it's the whole skin knitting itself back together and organs turning back from mush thing but I'm knackered" she manoeuvred herself slowly so she was lying flat on her back, head in his lap, "can you do that thing where you play with my hair?" she asked with a smile, reaching up and finding his free hand, guiding it down to tangle in her long hair, "I like that thing"

He looked away from the road, gazing down at her, "you're confusing me Kaylz – one minute you're cold and now your hot, I don't get why-"

"Shhhh" she hushed gently, her eyes sliding shut, "nap time Stiles. Don't make me rip your tongue out because that _would_ be a shame, you can do such **wonderful** things with it"

He bit back his words, tensing a little at the weight of her on him, not daring to look down and meet those cold calculating eyes that were once warm and loving until he heard her breathing even out just a few minutes later, tilting his head down and seeing her head pressed into his leg, eyelashes fluttering against her cheek and lips slightly parted.

"Is she sleeping?"

"Hmmm" he hummed back in response to Lydia, unable to now tear his gaze away, happy just staring down at her peaceful features that weren't twisted into hate and loathing, only glancing back at the road when he had to.

"I vote we kill her now" and he snapped his head up at Malia's tone, eyes widening at her through the rear-view mirror, "what?" she asked defensively, "it makes sense"

"It makes no sense" Stiles claimed, "now just sit back and shut up" he sighed, still letting his fingers drift through her mass of hair, "we've got a long ride ahead of us"

* * *

She had been standing there, leaning against the jeep picking her cuticles for the last hour as Stiles' piece of crap jeep broke down – _again_ – keeping a neutral look on her face but inside she was _seething._ She would have been much better than Scott to go. She had power and the willingness to do _anything_ , he was bound by pesky ethics and morals. If anyone could stop Kate it was her but _nooooo_ … apparently they didn't 'kill people' which was a ridiculous rule. Killing people was fun and most of the time completely necessary. It was that stupid ideology that got their friends killed, you would think they would've learned from their mistakes by now.

She heard Stiles curse as he angrily tried to fix his jeep, the sun already disappeared from the sky and she only glanced up when she heard heavy footsteps crunching over the dirt track to see Isaac looming over her, coating her in darkness.

"Nice to know some things never change" he nodded at her damaged cuticles that she always used to pick away at when she was bored.

She stopped at once, dropping her hands and cocking a brow, "it's a bad habit, I know"

He smiled a little, his gaze falling to the ground, "I might not be Stilinski's biggest fan most of the time but these past two months have been pretty rough on him" he said honestly, hoping to spark some sense of emotion within her, "the amount of times I heard him crying into his pillow, hell he even went off on one at his dad when he washed his hoody because it still smelt like you, doesn't that mean anything to you?"

She pretended to think it over, a faux thoughtful look crossing her features, "hm… let me think about that for a minute-uh _… no"_ she scoffed, "it just screams that he needs therapy"

"No" Isaac shook his head, "he needs you back. _All_ of you" he said quietly, "each one of us does"

"No can do Lahey" she shrugged, "I can't just magic up something that isn't there. I don't feel because I physically _can't_ and that's not such a bad thing. In fact, it's pretty great so-" she patted his chest, "-either get that into your thick head or don't keep boring me with your useless attempts at trying to ' _change me back'_. It doesn't work that way"

"I'm sorry but I'm with Stilinski on this one… I think you're in there somewhere, I think you _can_ feel if you really want to but you choose not to because it's easier, because whatever horrors you went through you don't want to face because it scares you" he explained and she felt her furious gaze turning into a glare, "you're being selfish Kayla"

"I am? _I am?"_ she laughed humourlessly at that, "I _died_ for him, for **years** I went through _hell_ for him because I cared too damn much – I will _not_ make that mistake again so _**don't you dare**_ accuse me of being selfish"

She was sure he smiled a little at that, "you're getting angry, you know what that is? It's an _emotion_ Kay"

"It's like you're asking me to snap your neck" she pushed herself off the jeep, squaring her shoulders, "shut up"

"No" he claimed stubbornly, "you're my best friend and I believe that somewhere you feel that too. You won't hurt me"

"Won't I?"

"No" he replied confidently, "not the girl that shared her toffee popcorn with me when we eight" he reminded her and she froze, listening intently to his words, "remember that? Remember how we mixed our mint chip choc ice-cream and popcorn together and you said it was a winning recipe? Or the little gummy ring that was too big for your finger that I gave you so you ate it? We went from that to best friends all those years later… I was in love with you then I wasn't then I was just confused but my love for you as a friend never changed, still hasn't" he sighed heavily, "so please Hale, I'm begging you… come back to us, alright?"

She scoffed under her breath, shaking her head at him, "touching speech, _really_ , but you're all liars. If you really did care for me why did you let them dump me like trash in the middle of no where? Huh? Answer me that Isaac!" she demanded, "explain why, if you loved me _so_ much, you just wrapped me up like a frigging burrito and threw me in a hole so I could rot away into nothing? I could feel it you know? _Every_ bug, every _single_ one _burrowing_ into me, eating on my corpse and it frigging _hurt…_ where were you then huh? Where was your love then Lahey? **ANSWER ME!"** she screamed, angrily shoving at his chest so he fell back several steps, the entire group falling silent and watching them in horror, "you have no _fucking idea_ what _**hell**_ I went through for all of you, the pain, the loneliness and _**that**_ was what I got in return? Dumped and forgotten about? That isn't something I'm going to forget, not for a _long_ time" she added quietly, literally shaking with fury as Isaac stepped even further away from her, her eyes glowing that deep furious green, "and now you've just pissed me off… that does not end well for you"

His eyes widened a little, not able to let out a single shout before she had grabbed him around the neck, yanking him forward and crashing her lips to his, furiously and fiercely letting her lips move over his quickly and forcefully, her skin abuzz with shooting tingles as she drained him, weakening him to the point where had lost every ounce of strength he had.

After all, her kisses didn't just give pleasure, they could be dangerous too.

She slid her other hand against his neck, holding him steady against her as her tongue melted against his, nipping at his bottom lip and sucking it into her mouth to soothe until she felt her head spinning, overloading herself with power and pulled back, letting him fall to his knees.

"Next time-" she forced him chin up, his dazed slack gaze meeting her own, "-I won't be so lenient and I _will_ kill you, understand? Good" and with that she pushed him away, hearing him fall to the ground as Malia bared her teeth, looking ready to rush her.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you"

But Malia paid no heed, extending her claws and letting her eyes glow a furious blue as she raced forward, raising a clawed hand to try and rip her throat out but Kayla was quicker, ducking and spinning around quickly, grabbing a handful of her hair and forcing her head through the back window, satisfaction surging through her body as she heard the glass break and cut her skin, pulling her back only to knock her legs out from under her and cause her to crash to the ground painfully next to Isaac, groaning in pain under her breath.

" _Anyone else?"_ she screamed furiously, whipping around to the other three left standing, "Hm? How about you Kira?" and the girl in question flinched at her tone, "want to stick another sword through my chest?"

But before they had time to answer, a sudden guttural groaning vibe echoed throughout the still night air, the predatory growl settling everyone's hairs up on end.

"Oh you're on" she muttered under her breath, her furious eyes catching sight of a large burly figure emerging from the shadows up ahead, shrugging off the leather jacket she was wearing and throwing it at Stiles as she stalked past him, her eyes glowing even brighter, "bring it on" she said under her breath, "come on… come and get me"

"Kaylz no-"

She shrugged off Stiles' hands, letting out a loud borderline animalistic scream of rage, her fist curling as she dropped to the ground, slamming it into the dirt track with so much fury and rage the ground actually started to crack apart, a rumble of thunder echoing overhead.

"That's it" she whispered, smirking dangerous as the figure got closer and closer, soon breaking out into a run, the sound of bones clicking against one another deafening them all, "come and get me"

It didn't take long for the creature to ascend upon them all, covered head to toe in animal bones, a skull mask covering it's features, it's body broad and tall as it angrily raised a clawed hand to swipe at her but she just skidded between its legs, flipping over and knocking out the back of its knee joint so it faltered, a furious growl emanating from its throat.

But she was quicker, pushing herself to her feet and angrily kicking out at its back with so much force it almost pitched forward, its growl turning full of warning. But she didn't care because she was just so damn _angry_ to the point where she wanted to rip something apart limb from limb and this thing – whatever the hell it was – was getting the brunt of her uncontrollable rage.

So when it went to stand up to full height, sharp bones angrily swiping out at her to try and impale her she just ducked to the side, avoiding its lethal stabs and grabbed its thick arm on the way down, using all her strength to hold it still and smirk, imagining its faceless expression contorting into worry.

" _ **Big**_ mistake"

And with that she let _all_ hell break loose.

Feeling fury so untameable and full on, burning through her body like a bomb about to go off. She punched, kicked and barrelled into the creature, slowly but surely knocking it down to size as she avoided even getting a scratch, angrily lifting its heavy body over her shoulder and dropping it to the hard ground below, the bones covering its body breaking on impact.

She grabbed its thick neck, wrapping her arm around it and squeezing as hard as she could, lifting it partially off the ground.

"You work for Kate hm?" she demanded, "maybe killing you ugly son of a bitch might send a message to her that I'm not playing… I _will_ kill her, slowly, painfully and without restraint and I don't care what it takes or who I have to cut down to get to her" the thing jolted in her grip and she just lifted it up higher, balling a single fist and punching so hard she heard its spine snap in half, "guess what? _I win_ " her strong grip attaching to its skull and twisting so hard its neck broke but she kept twisting, pulling and yanking until the sickening crunch of its bones sliding along one another echoed around them, its head finally cracking from the rest of its body but no sooner than that had happened did the creature collapse into a pile of dust, melting away into nothing.

She kicked at the pile of dust, deliberately stepping on and breaking the leftover bones, cocking a brow at the five people gazing over at her, complete shock written over their features.

"Now _that_ was kinda fun"

 **A/N) WHY TF DID THAT TURN OUT LIKE 2000 WORDS LONGER THAN NORMAL whoops haha but omg poor everyone and I love writing Kayla like this… she is savage AF lol just saying haha woo hoo things are gonna get interesting soon and I cant wait to get there haha so eager to hear what y'all think on kaylas character now, the things she said to stiles etc so pretty please drop a review and I will see y'all soon love ya xxx and also imagine if she does go through with those things... THAT WOULD BE HEARTBREAKIng HAHA**

 **Also "forget the beef jerky", "I will never forget beef jerky" ahahaha 😂😂😂**


	4. Chapter 4- Do you hate me yet?

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any shape or form (sad face) but WOWZER again, you guys rock so much for the massive response, including WitchLove, Mrs. Stilinski Clearwater, Dcutie, Amandalucia, EllieDragon, WickedlyMinx, XxxXCherriesXxxX, Chloe, Linda96, xnathiagrey, zvc56, Jocie413, Vampir3.S3duction and lolsmileyface6 for reviewing, I love you all so much, hope you like this next chapter**

"So…" she just cocked an eyebrow, placing her hands on her hips, "… you fixed that piece of crap jeep yet? Because I, for one, am _very_ bored" she gave a small playful pout, "for real, being dead was _way_ more entertaining than this"

"You just… you…" Lydia mumbled, gazing at her in shock and a little fear, "you killed that thing"

"No flies on you huh?" She muttered sarcastically, "glad to know that high IQ of yours is being used for more than just contouring"

"How did you do that?" Malia asked, frowning a little as the cuts on her face slowly started to heal, still looking incredibly pissed off, "that thing was twice your size"

"Well, you see-" she started to point out, sarcasm dripping from her tone, "-it's this little thing called _strength_ Malia, something which I, evidently, have a lot of. Anymore stupid questions?"

Isaac was still looking a little weak and dazed, gripping onto the side of the jeep to keep himself stable as he stared across at her, his brows furrowing, "you really don't care, do you?"

She shrugged, "and _finally_ , the penny drops" she gave a series of slow obnoxious claps, "jeez, I was beginning to think you lot really were brain dead"

Malia, her anger still clearly bubbling to the surface, snarled loudly and let her eyes glow bright blue, looking like she was seriously debating charging her again – which really would be an _incredibly_ dumb idea – but before she could both Kira and Lydia reached out and grabbed her arms, stopping her in her tracks.

"Smart move" Kayla praised, "because next time I won't go easy on you"

"Kaylz…" and she felt like puking as Stiles murmured her name, so much confusion but affection and longing in his voice, "can you…" she huffed out a sigh, folding her arms and raising her brows at him – god, she was so damn sick of all this lovey dovey shit, she didn't want that, it was horrible – "can you uh… help me fix the jeep?"

She snorted, "finally, a semi smart statement" she started walking towards them, smirking to herself as a few of her former friends actually stepped back, "you suck ass at fixing cars Stilinski"

He jolted a little, shocked to hear once such an affectionate statement leaving her lips, staring at her wide eyes as she strolled over. The only time she called him by his last name was in a cute teasing manner or when she was so totally furious it looked like she wanted to kick him head first off the highest building… could it be that she had a sense of familiarity after all?

"Well?" she demanded, suddenly appearing right in front of him and staring across at him with an impatient look, "unless you wanna get torn apart by the next big ass creature that decides to come along because, fair warning, I won't bother protecting y'all, I'd happily sit back and watch it tear you apart. Shame I don't have popcorn…"

He gulped nervously, holding out the flashlight for her to take, "then we better crack on"

"We better" and with that she grabbed the flashlight and for a second, just a brief moment, their fingers met and he didn't realise how much he missed such an innocent little touch until he felt it, her fingers surprisingly warm and soft.

"Oh god…" she groaned, rolling her eyes as she jerked her hand back, "really Stiles? You gonna go all gooey eyed over a touch? Wow, you are so whipped huh?"

He swallowed thickly, meeting her gaze, "you have no idea"

"Well you can unwhip yourself any day now" she pointed the flashlight to the bonnet of the jeep, "now grab some tape, your coolant is leaking"

"… What?"

"Your engine is overheating because the fluid is escaping the hose so tape it up and let's get going" she urged impatiently and he just stared, totally dumbfounded, before Lydia appeared next to him, sending Kayla a suspicious and wary look as she passed him the roll of duct tape.

"I uh…" he coughed to clear his throat, "I should've known that"

"Yeah, you should've" she nodded bluntly, pointing the flashlight to where the small leak was, obvious now she had pointed it out, "but you were never that great with mechanics anyway, the fact you regularly use duct tape proves that"

His hands shook a little as he reached down into the inner workings of the jeep and started taping up the leak, glancing up at her from the corner of his eye, "Uh… thanks"

"You're not welcome"

He tried to ignore her scathing tone, he really did, but whatever she said or did just got to him, like she just magically was able to get through all the chinks in his armour without even trying.

It only took him a few moments to tape it up, nodding for everyone to pile back into the jeep and breathed a sigh of relief when the engine rumbled to life after a few seconds of turning the key, closing his eyes and thanking whatever god there was that at least something seemed to be going right.

"Did you doubt me baby?" Kayla chuckled teasingly, resting her bent knees against the dashboard and looking so totally and utterly relaxed, the complete opposite to what they all felt.

And the scary part was, he did. And not just about the stupid jeep, he doubted her now because she was unfeeling, unpredictable and unremorseful and that was something he had never felt before, not to this degree anyway. Even when they were arguing or things were rough, he had never doubted her this much and it was _terrifying_.

He sent her a side glance, keeping his voice lowered, "what you said back there… about how you… how you want to hurt me… those were just words right?" he mumbled, "you won't actually-I mean… I understand killing those guys back there – you wanted to escape, to get out, I totally get that but-but you have to understand how wrong it is, don't you?"

She quirked an eyebrow, "how can it be wrong if it's fun?"

"Killing people shouldn't be fun Kaylz, they have lives, families-"

"But. It's. _Fun_ " she reiterated, pronouncing each syllable slowly like he was stupid, "and I deserve some fun Stiles" she slowly slid across so she was next to him as he raced along the dirt track, inching closer and closer to the abandoned church, "why do you have to be such a downer?"

"You _can_ have fun… just without killing people" he stumbled a little over his words as she wrapped her arms around his that was resting on the gear stick, ignoring the pounding in his heart.

"You mean like sex?" she whispered, snickering as she tilted her head back to whisper in his ear, "because don't worry… I plan on doing _a lot_ of that"

He froze, his chest tightening uncomfortably.

"But you don't want me to do that either, do you?" she asked knowingly, "poor baby, getting all _jealous_ " she teased playfully, pressing a slow kiss to the side of his head, "it's kind of cute"

"You don't have to do that either"

"Of course I do" she mumbled, "it's who I am Stiles… you can't change that"

"But it's not who you are" he disagreed, finding it hard to concentrate as her lips grazed along his jaw bone, "I know who you are and this? This is not it"

Her lips stopped, hovering just below his ear, "No Stiles, you knew the _old_ Kayla, the one that was weak and worthless, this Kayla you don't know"

"I know you better than anyone" he promised, tilting his head around to peer at her, "I notice things Kaylz… the little things that no one pays attention to. I know that you still have that piece of hair that always, _always_ , falls in front of your face but you keep on tucking it behind your ear anyway. How you still have a touch of that southern drawl that slips out from time to time and it's the most adorable thing ever, especially when you don't know it's happening. Even how weird it is that you love buying socks but they freak you out just that little bit and how when you're hungry you literally devour an entire plate of food in record time and make these little noises as you do, and you don't even realise that you hum when you're watching something. That's how I know if you actually like the thing or not, because whenever you're happy you just start humming to yourself and I always get distracted by it… those things you do, _that's_ who you are. You're not this person"

"Wow" she snorted, "that was deep. Someone definitely doesn't need to go to specsavers"

"Kaylz-"

"Don't 'Kaylz' me. Not anymore Stiles" she stated, dropping the sultry look and sending him a heated glare, "I mean it, I'm not playing here. How many times do I have to say this? I. Don't. Love. You. Don't even know why I did in the first place. I don't want love, I want sex, attraction, _fun_ , so unless you want to get into my pants then quit talking to me about what we had. That died Stiles, right along with me and that's _your_ fault, are we clear?"

His hands tightened around the steering wheel, his bottom lip quivering, "hurt me all you want but I'm not giving up"

She let out a frustrated sound, untangling their arms and sending him a fierce glare, "what will it take for you to let go Stiles? Huh? How many people's lives do I have to ruin? How many innocent people do I have to kill? How many people do I have to screw for you to realise there's nothing between us? Because you're really starting to piss me off now!"

"Till the end of the road… remember?"

She huffed loudly, crossing her arms, "we were at a dead end a long time ago Stiles. Move on. Go find that chic again, the one you wanted to fuck and screw her for all I care"

"I'm not going to do that"

She rolled her eyes, "I don't care either way now just shut up before I make you"

He bit his lip, catching his friends' gazes in the rear-view mirror and judging by their wary and warning looks he knew he probably should – it wasn't just his life at risk if Kayla suddenly snapped and turned on them, it was theirs too, and as much as he wanted to try and get through to her he knew she was reaching her breaking point and a pissed off Kayla – especially now – was someone not to mess with.

So he just gulped and focused back on the road, the church coming into clear view the more he pressed his foot on the accelerator.

"Well this looks welcoming" Isaac murmured, still sounding worn out and tired as he peeked over the back of the seats, "and not _at all_ dangerous"

"Why would Kate take Derek here though?" Kira asked, "it makes no sense"

"Nothing makes sense" Stiles murmured, skidding to a messy stop, "but I guess we're going to find out" nodding to the three people struggling out the door, "c'mon"

They all piled out, even Kayla whose curiosity got the better of her followed them, cocking an eyebrow at the scene in front and she had to chuckle.

"Well would you look at that" she crossed her arms, sniggering to herself, "Derek is all miniature again" gazing across at her cousins' suddenly very younger looking face, "I gotta give it to Kate, she really did good on this one"

Braeden was glaring at her, struggling with a semi-conscious Derek, his arms slung over both hers and Scott shoulders.

"You… you look so-so familiar" Derek whispered, frowning at her tiredly, "why's-why's that?"

"One of those faces" she rolled her eyes as Braeden and Scott rushed past to bundle Derek in the backseat, the guy looking so totally out of it Kayla wouldn't be surprised if he dropped dead.

"What the hell?" Stiles exclaimed, keeping his voice lowered as they shut the door, "Scott… What the _hell?"_

"I don't know, we just found him like that"

"Is Kate still here?" she asked, gaze sweeping over the deserted and crumbling down church.

"No, she must've taken off"

"Damn" she muttered under her breath, rage filling her veins, "this is your fault y'know?" she rounded on Stiles, "yours and your stupid jeep's. You better hope I find her again Stiles or so help me _god_ …" she didn't need to finish her sentence, her threat perfectly clear as he gulped at her intense gaze.

"I-I'm sorry-"

"You're always _sorry"_ she scoffed, "sorry is useless Stiles, just like you. No one needs you, no one even _wants_ you"

"Hey" Malia barked out angrily, "shut up"

"Aw, that's cute, you got yourself a fan" she said mockingly, her anger unstoppable and untameable, "god, I am so far past fucking done with you all" she rolled her eyes, brushing past them all, "go to hell"

"Kaylz-"

"I thought I said to stop _calling me that!"_ she rounded on him, her eyes immediately glowing that dark ferocious green, "Go and get the hell out of here before I'm tempted to slaughter you all just for laughs"

He looked at her sadly, "Don't… don't go and leave me"

"Why not?" she chuckled humourlessly, "everyone else does. Your mom did" and he flinched at her harsh words, "people leave you because you're not worth it Stiles"

He felt tears stinging his eyes, surging forward, "you don't believe that… you're just saying that to hurt me"

"You're in denial if you truly believe that" she scoffed, turning on her heel and striding off towards the abandoned church, "now _go!"_

* * *

"Hey sweetheart" the thick accent slurred through the open window of the beat down truck, "you want a lift?"

She sighed heavily, continuing to stride down the dirt track and ignoring the young man leering at her.

"Aw c'mon sweetness, a girl like you shouldn't be out here all on your lonesome"

Oh… how wrong he was.

She smirked at the hilarity of that statement, twisting her head to send him an innocent smile, "you'll give me a lift? Anywhere?"

His hungry eyes literally lit up, trailing over her body, "wherever you want"

She laughed to herself, slowing down her walk so she could climb in the truck and pretended to act shy and clueless, batting her eyelids a little.

"Thank you Mr. It's not a nice place to get lost in"

"No it certainly is not" he agreed and he was cute, probably no older than twenty-five, a full head of dark hair and a scruff covering his lower face, his eyes a deep dark brown, but if there was one thing she hated it was perverts and he was _definitely_ one. She sensed it by the way he looked at her, his gaze lingering on her low cut top and her denim clad legs.

"So, what's a pretty little thing like yourself doing out here all by yourself? It's a dangerous place you know"

Yes, it was. Dangerous for _**him.**_

"Now if I told you that, I really would have to kill you"

He chuckled, reaching out to fiddle with the radio station, "especially dressed like that… there's a lot of creeps around these parts"

"There is?" she feigned innocence, shrugging off the leather jacket as if she was cooling herself down, smirking at the power play as the guy's eyes slyly settled on the skin on show, "then I guess I should thank you for picking me up"

His lips quirked, hand dropping from the dial to slowly rest over her leg, "maybe you should"

She just sat and watched as his hand slid up her leg, stroking the denim before the tips of his fingers ran along the waistband of her jeans, "take them off"

She smirked to herself, cocking an eyebrow at him, "don't you want to know how old I am?"

His eyes flitted to the road before they fell on her again, his stare darkening, "I don't care. Take them off"

"And who says chivalry is dead?" she chuckled, lifting a hand and letting her fingers slowly dip down her cleavage, "is this what you want huh?"

His jaw clenched, slowing the car down and pulling in to the side of the road.

"Don't make me ask again sweetness… take. Them. Off"

So, silently, she just lifted her top above her head, well aware his eyes were lusting at the skin on show and discarded it to the floor, carefully manoeuvring herself so she could crawl onto his lap, settling down contently and tugging at his thick mass of hair.

"You want me huh?"

"God, you have no idea" he growled, grabbing at her bare waist and pulling her forward, lips moulding themselves against her neck as he kissed her ferociously, greedy hands gliding over her skin like he owned her, already trying to work on the button of her jeans.

And she was so okay with casual hook-ups, with sex that meant nothing and was _just_ sex, but she hated creeps thinking they could take what they wanted. It didn't work that way. _She_ was the one in control.

Maybe it's time she taught him a lesson.

And just as he moved upwards to kiss her she grabbed the unbuckled seatbelt and wrapped it tightly around his neck, pulling as hard as she could so he immediately jolted, grabbing blinding at the belt that dug into his skin painfully.

"Sorry _sweetness_ -" she quoted with a snarl, "- _ **no one**_ tells me what to do, are we clear?"

He couldn't speak, his eyes bugging from their sockets and cheeks turning a dark red as he struggled but she was stronger, choking him into submission.

"Aw, don't you like this?" she pouted, "not into BDSM huh? A little breath play? Well isn't that a _shame"_ she taunted, pulling the belt tighter and he tried to gasp back some air that never came, his body jolting underneath hers in his haste to escape, "and it's funny how if you were a _little_ less creepy then I probably would've been the best fuck of your life but _noooo_ , you just _had_ to play the pervert card, huh? Thinking, what? You deserve some random chic to drop her pants to you? Doesn't work that way asshole" she seethed, grabbing at the belt tighter until his lips turned blue, fearful wide eyes staring at her silently, begging her to stop.

"I know it hurts baby" she pouted, "but it's what you deserve for thinking I owed you something. I owe no one _nothing_ " she snarled, yanking at the seatbelt tighter as he finally started to pass out, "you missed out though, I would've turned your world upside down but now… well…" she smirked as his eyes started to close, collapsing back against the drivers seat, "now you just end up dead with a boner you never got to deal with… rough huh?"

But he never answered, his heart stopping as she gave one last ferocious tug, breaking the skin on his neck, blood oozing down the tan skin.

And without feeling or remorse she unwrapped the seatbelt from around his bruised neck, sliding off his body and pushed him from the truck, giving a sarcastic little salute to his dead body.

"Thanks for the ride"

And with that she drove off, ready for the fun to _really_ start.

* * *

"Give me your phone"

"What?"

"Phone, now" she smirked, slowing down her movements atop the guy's body, pushing herself off his sweaty chest to peer down at him, "I need to make a call"

The guy – whatever his name was – cocked a brow, "you want to make a phone call when we're having sex?"

"It's a call to my ex" she smirked, "and yes, this is the _perfect_ time"

He grinned at her thought process, reaching over to the bedside table of the crappy motel they were in, passing her his cellphone, "wouldn't facetime be better?"

"I like the way you think" she winked, starting to circle her hips again slowly, revolving them against his and he shuddered, reaching up to grab her waist and thrust up into her.

"Fuck, you're good" he murmured breathlessly, biting down hard on his bottom lip – sexy as _fuck_ by the way – and let out a low groan, "you're the best screw I've ever had"

She grinned at the compliment, tightening her legs around his hips and slowly working him inside her, "yeah, I know" and with that she diverted her attention to the cell phone, opening up facetime and typed in Stiles' number, letting her long wavy hair frame her face as she gently upped the speed of her hips, a low moan of pleasure building in the back of her throat.

"This guy- _oh god_ …" Mr handsome cut himself off suddenly, throwing his head back into the pillows and letting his nails sink into her sink, "he must've really done you over huh?"

"Oh… you have no idea" she whispered, stopping the circling to push herself up along his length and back down, biting the inside of her cheek at the feelings of intense mind numbing pleasure searing through her body.

This. _This_ is what she missed. The fun, the power, the toe curling pleasure she felt. She wanted this all the time, in fact it's _all_ she wanted. Nothing else, just this. No strings attached, no feelings, emotionless _sex._

The phone continued to ring as she held it up opposite her, her free hand sliding down her naked form to touch herself, her body buzzing with approval.

"Oh wow…" the guy whispered, bending his legs a little behind her so he could thrust deeply, "that's hot as hell"

She just shot him a smirk, admiring herself in the reflection of the phone, the tops of her breasts just barely visible, skin gleaming with sweat as her body rolled, her cheeks flushed. But it was then Stiles answered, his confused look filling up the screen.

"Hey baby" she greeted breathlessly, biting down on her bottom lip as devastating realisation crossed his features, "I just called to apologise for what happened in Mexico… I didn't mean to shout at you" she pouted playfully, "do you forgive me?"

She was sure she saw tears welling in his eyes, observing the way her body moved gracefully, small moans escaping her parted lips.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked helplessly, "why Kaylz?"

She started circling her hips again, grinding down hard against the guy and he just let out a low groan, one hand inching down to grab her ass and the other to cup her breast, probably just because Stiles could see, rubbing his thumb over her nipple.

"Why did you get your dick out and almost fuck that chic?" she shrugged, moving her free hand up her body to run through her sweaty hair, breathing rate increasing, "because I'm incredibly horny and this guy – oh sorry, what's your name?"

"S-Stuart"

"Stuart" she smirked at Stiles, picking up the pace a little "he was alone at this bar, all tall dark and handsome and I just thought he would be a good fuck. And I was right" she let out a shuddering breath, tilting her head back a little as he pulled her hips down, thrusting deep, "he _is_ a good fuck Stiles and he's making me feel _so_ damn good" she giggled, shaking her long hair out, "are you jealous yet?"

And Stiles just tightened his grip around the phone, struggling for air as he watched her lust filled eyes gleam at him in amusement, slowly twisting the phone around so it was pointing through the darkened room and he could see the outline of a bare body melting into the mattress, the guys face screwed up in pleasure as he grabbed at her desperately.

"Now now Stiles, don't be rude" he heard her chastise off camera, "say hi to my new friend"

But he couldn't speak, his body freezing as panic gripped his chest, his heart breaking apart into a million pieces yet again, forced to watch as the girl he loved, the one he had gotten back but still lost, fall into the arms of another guy and have heartless, meaningless sex, a stark contrast to their own which was so full of passion and love.

The guy opened his eyes, grinning at the camera before he reached up and pulled Kayla down, her letting out a small sound of surprise and he flipped them over, the phone jostling about against bare bodies and screwed up covers before it finally settled on them making out, the guy moving quickly and aggressively on top.

He felt sick to the stomach, all his energy draining from him but he couldn't look away, he just _couldn't_ , not really grasping what was happening.

"No… not yet" Kayla murmured against his lips as she felt Stuart start to shudder on top, his mouth grazing along her cheek to kiss her neck, "don't come yet, just a few seconds longer"

He groaned loudly, slamming his hands into the mattress on either side as she bit her lip and threw her head back, scratching her nails down his bare back as she felt that inhuman pleasure and bliss settle over her body, power soaring through her veins.

This is what she was born to do. It was in her genes. A seductress and, to be honest, it was wasted on Stiles. On _one_ person.

She moaned in contentment, sighing as his body – slick with sweat – rolled off hers and collapsed onto the bed, totally breathless.

"Damn girl… that really _was_ the best lay ever"

She sucked in a deep breath, smirking to herself at the accomplishment before rolling onto her side, straightening out the phone and cocking a brow at the camera, blowing some stray sweaty hair away from her face as Stiles gazed at her, totally crushed.

"So Stiles…" she purred, snorting as a single tear etched its way down his cheek, his hands shaking, a panic attack beginning to take hold, unable to get the image of their bare bodies moulding together out of his head, sadness and jealousy grabbing a hold and not letting go, remembering how he touched her, how he kissed her, the way she looked so pleased with herself, "do you hate me yet?"

 **A/N) OOOOOOOOOOOOH DAMNNNNNNNN that's all I have to sayhaha but she is a seductress so that was bound to happen lol but at least she killed that pervert guy thats a plus huh? ha but I promise things will work out haha so please please review, I know you all probs hate me by now (I hate me a little) but it had to be done hahaha see ya real soon peeps xx**


	5. Chapter 5 - Gonna tear this town apart

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any shape or form :( again, WOW, loving the responses, they're amazing and make me chuckle lol (gonna keep apologising for the angst and lock my doors at night in case y'all decide to get some revenge ha) but a massive thankful shoutout to suntan140 (yeah she will defo feel a ton of guilt), Dcutie, WitchLove, Jocie413 (im so sorry lol), xnathiagrey, XxxXCherriesXxxX, WickedlyMinx, linda96, guest x 3 (self defense will defo be learned), Jaysweet112197 x 2, BeccaSco, Amandalucia, Tazytara and TheMysteriousPerson -0-'-0 (omg that would be amazing, payback's a bitch after all ;P haha) for reviewing haha I'm glad y'all only hate me a little, hope you like this new chapter xxx**

 _Did_ he hate her now?

That was the _**big**_ question.

He didn't want to, not really. He knew this wasn't her, whatever had happened when she was dead had clearly taken a toll on her, however she came back through whatever unnatural means obviously only adding to that negativity but in between the ragged breaths he managed to get into his lungs he despised himself for the anger surging through his veins.

Anger because it wasn't him with her.

Anger that she wasn't even trying to see his side of things, totally shrugging off any and all responsibilities and amazing emotions she could be feeling if she tried – accepted their help and admitted there was something clearly very wrong.

Anger because he couldn't get her back and fix her like he so desperately wanted to.

He wiped at his cheek with the back of his free hand, his solemn gaze meeting her highly amused one, a pleased smirk tugging at her lips as she stared at the camera, wispy bits of loose hair curling around her face and propping herself up against the stack of pillows on the bed.

He was heartbroken, sleep deprived, confused and it was 4.15am and he had literally just got back home, he didn't have the mental capacity to deal with this right now.

"You… you didn't even know his name Kaylz"

"His name wasn't what I was interested in" she grinned, the thin white cotton sheet loosely wrapped around her body, "and relax baby, it was just sex… no need to make a big deal out of it"

"B-Big deal?" he spluttered, heart dropping, "of course it's a big deal, to me at least" he added, "that's why you called me right? To dig the knife a little deeper?"

She twisted around onto her stomach, raising her eyebrows at him through the camera and he could just see the body of the guy – 'Stuart' or whatever the hell he was called, Stiles didn't care – next to her, lying down completely conked out.

"No, not to dig it deeper" she disagreed, "to completely _cut you apart"_

His hands were shaking, his vision blurring, "well congrats… you just did"

She broke out into a wide pleased grin, "good, I'm glad" propping her chin on her hand and cocking her head to the side, silently assessing his expression and for some reason he just couldn't put the phone down. It was torturous and pure raw agony but for two whole months she had been dead and buried, having to live knowing he would never see her again. Only now he got to and he found himself not wanting to look away, no matter how painful it was.

"I had to fulfil my needs _somehow_ Stiles" she pouted, "are you jealous?" he felt his legs shaking a little, knees knocking together as he leant back against the kitchen wall for support, a nervous sweat building on the back of his neck, "are you pissed that it wasn't you fucking me like that?"

"Sex was never… it wasn't… that isn't why I love you"

She sent him an amused disbelieving look, "it is a _little_ bit why, don't lie Stiles. You're jealous because some other guy got to do _everything_ you want to do… admit it" she whispered, leaning closer to the phone, "we're all friends here. You want to be inside me like that because you know that I'm the best you'll ever have"

There was no winning in this situation, his stomach dropping.

"Cat got your tongue?" she laughed, "that's rare, normally no one can get you to shut up, does that make me special?" she teased, blowing a strand of sweaty hair from her flushed face, "but you're more than welcome to stay and watch round two – he doesn't quite have your recovery time but I'm sure that's something I can change"

"Kaylz, please… don't" he practically begged, "don't do this. You don't even know him. _Please_ , he's not… he's not…"

"What?" she snorted, "not you? That's exactly the _point_ Stiles! Maybe I'll even get to leave this motel room alive"

He flinched like he had been shot, blinking back the fresh wave of tears that hit him, "Kaylz, _please_ , if you feel anything for me, even a sliver or a small spark of something then please, I'm _begging_ you… don't do this" he whispered, his voice breaking, "don't do it and come home to me"

Her smouldering gaze bored hole through his, a wondering look crossing her features, "huh… you really still love me? Even after this?"

He nodded quickly, his hopes getting up that he might actually get through to her, "yes, of course I do Kaylz… we're stronger than this. Just… come home" he added desperately, "everything's just the same as it was when you… left" he decided on delicately, "you still get the left side of the bed and-and your shower gel is still stocked up, your favourite kind just, _please_ … let's work out how to fix this"

"I'm not broken Stiles" she claimed, "in fact I feel pretty damn great. That was always your problem you know… wanting to _fix_ me. Shape me into the person you wanted me to be and not just leave me the hell alone so you know what?" she shrugged, "I'm gonna hop back on this guy's dick until I'm left _screaming_ and there's not a damn thing you can do about it"

His bottom lip wobbled as he shook his head in one last pathetic attempt to stop her, "please…"

"Like I said, you're more than welcome to stay and watch, that's something you love to do right?"

He closed his eyes briefly, pain searing through his body as he heard the covers rustle and a small laugh echo through his head and once he peeled his tired and devastated eyes open he saw her leaning over the guy, kissing his lips fiercely and dominantly, sliding around to straddle his lap.

No, this couldn't be happening, it was just a nightmare, it had to be, maybe this whole thing was. Because Kayla, his Kayla, wouldn't do this. Their love had more depth to it to overcome whatever the hell was happening; he was sure about that.

The phone slipped from his grasp, bouncing around the floor as his legs gave way and he slid down the kitchen wall, knees bent and sprawling around him.

A small playful giggle broke free from his cell followed by a contented little moan slipping past as he rested his elbows on his knees, sliding his fingers through his sweaty and spike hair, grabbing at the tufts and tugging them so hard he was surprised his hair never ripped from the roots.

"Stiles? You okay?"

He barely heard the voice, gazing ahead of him as tears blurred his vision.

Strong purposeful footsteps appeared in front of him, the person kneeling down opposite him, "Stiles, what's the matter?"

He glanced up, meeting Malia's curious brown eyes.

"She uh… she… with… and I… she's just-"

Malia just frowned at his confused ramblings, eyeing up the face down phone on the tiled floor and reached out for it, gazing at the screen for a few wondering seconds before she just scoffed and hit the red button, ending the car, something Stiles never had the strength for.

"She doesn't care Stiles"

"But she _has_ to" he insisted, "Kayla cares a lot, always had… that's what got her killed, saving me" he explained feebly, hands still shaking, "so whatever is happening we can sort… we have to"

Malia's stare became dubious, "she's killed four people – that we _know_ of. How can someone come back from that?"

"With support" he whispered, "and love… something that she'll always have from me"

"Even after that?" she asked, nodding to the phone and he flinched, "sex with someone else?"

"I… I don't know" he whispered, sighing deeply, "but to her, right now, it's only sex. It's what she is and… and when I found out about that I made a promise to her that it didn't matter, not to me, because sex doesn't equal love and what we had _was_ love and that's something I can get back… I _know_ I can"

"You can get mad Stiles" Malia persisted, "don't let your guilt make you feel like you have to lie down and roll over and accept everything she does"

He stopped in his tracks, meeting her stare, "how do you know that's how I feel?"

She tapped her nose, "you reek of it"

"Wow, _thanks"_

Malia smirked, "you have every right to get mad"

"Do I?" he questioned sadly, "Malia, you never saw her that night in the school… she was just… she was in _so_ much pain and there was so much blood and I… I kept her alive because I didn't want to let go. She was choking on her own blood, every inch of her in pain and I made her hold on because I didn't want to have to deal with losing her… it's my fault she died and it's my fault she's like this now"

"You're wrong" Malia said bluntly, "from what I heard she chose to save you – you never asked her to"

"That doesn't matter" he insisted, "it's still my fault… just like Allison and Aiden is my fault"

Malia sighed, like she was fed up with his nonsense, "I much prefer you when you aren't moping about"

"My dead girlfriend is back but facetimed me just so I could watch her screw another guy… I have every right to mope"

She pursed her lips, thinking deeply as she tried to change the subject, letting her legs give way as she sat next to him, leaning back against the wall too.

"Well moping here doesn't change the fact she's still out of control and on top of some other guy" he flinched at the reminder, sinking his nails into his legs, "maybe it's time to accept that Kayla is gone" he whipped his head around to stare at her, bug eyed, a shocked look crossing his features, "don't get me wrong, I liked her too but now she's just straight up crazy"

He ignored her advice, rolling his eyes and pushing himself to his feet, "what are you even doing here anyway?"

"Oh, Scott wanted me to check up on you. He thought you didn't look too good"

"Well you've come and checked, goodnight"

"You're hurting Stiles" she observed, "you're not going to do anything stupid are you?"

"Like what? Drown my sorrows in a bottle of my dad's bourbon? Tempting, but no" he scoffed, "now please just go, it's late Malia"

He didn't even give her a chance to reply before he had left the kitchen, throwing open the door next to it and stomping down to the darkened basement which was still a little flooded, his trainer clad feet sploshing through pools of grimy water.

Malia may be right, he _was_ pissed off and jealous but most of all he was just _broken_. Just when he thought he was slowly starting to heal his whole world tumbled down around him again and even though he was supposed to be elated that Kayla was back, he found himself more confused and broken than ever.

He grabbed the old punch bag, roughly attaching it to the chain that was still hanging from the ceiling, the only reason they had it was because his dad used to train when he was younger when Stiles was a baby and hadn't got around to getting rid of it, eyeing up the dirty and worn down punch bag.

Well… he had to let his frustrations out somehow.

He curled his fist, angrily letting his fist swipe out and hit the bag, a wave of dust flying forward.

This was all his fault… _everything_ was his **fault**.

He clenched his other fist, letting it fly forward with double the amount of strength and hit the bag, his knuckles protesting at the amount of force he had used.

" _Better wrap them fists up" he heard Kayla's voice perfectly in his head, that small grin in place, "don't wanna damage those perfect hands now, do we?"_

But he ignored the phantom voice, both his fists curling as he continued to strike the bag, letting out all his hurt and anger in an uncontrollable surge of power and rage.

" _Wow" he remembered Kayla saying one night, leaning over the bed to let her lips flutter over the muscles in his arms, "you're getting strong baby"_

" _You think?" he asked disbelievingly, letting out a small scoff._

" _Yeah" she smiled, smirking up at him through her eyelashes, "I guess fighting off crazy supernatural creatures on a daily basis is doing wonders for your physique"_

But she had been right, he saw that now. He wasn't still just the scrawny human teenager, he was growing up, becoming an adult. He had broadened out, his stature becoming more resilient and hard, now able to feel he had better control over his body.

He hated being viewed as useless, as the human with no special skills and nothing else. He had a lot to bring to the table, he did, and he wanted to make sure that something like the nogitsune would never happen again. He wanted to be able to feel confident enough to help and protect his friends… maybe if he did that in the first place Allison and Aiden wouldn't have died the way they did, maybe if he stepped up and protected Kayla instead of her protecting him then she wouldn't have died and turned into the cold, unfeeling person she was today.

His fists hit the punching bag harder and harder, quicker and quicker until he was choking on the dust, the seams starting to rip as his body heated up-sweat prickling from every pore in his body but he didn't let up, he never stopped until the punching bag split apart, breaking from the impact of his rage-filled fists.

He stepped back, breathing fast and hard as he wiped at his forehead with the back of his hand, knuckles a little red and bruised and aching with a deep kind of pain but he didn't care, he found himself _enjoying_ it even because it proved that he wasn't just the weak little human, he had the ability to be more than that, to be strong if he really wanted to.

And god knows, he needed to be now more than ever.

* * *

"Isn't it usually the guy leaving the girl in the morning?"

She snorted in amusement, keeping her back turned as she bent down to tug on her tight jeans and heard him let out a long appreciative whistle, no doubt letting his eyes wander down her naked body.

"Damn girl… nice view"

She laughed turning around as she tied up her jeans and nodding to her bar that was next to him on the bedside table, one which he grabbed and threw to her, pupils wide as he soaked up her every curve.

"I gotta go and although this _has_ been fun, I've got a town to go terrorise" she slid the bra on, tying it at the back before pulling the deep purple crop top over her head and shaking her hair out, "why, will you miss me?"

"Yeah" he nodded enthusiastically, pushing himself back against the headboard, "I've never had sex _that_ many times in one night and not gone limp, not to mention you're very talented with your, uh-" his eyes dazzled as they trailed down her body, "-let's just say with your feminine assets"

"What can I say?" she winked, "I know _exactly_ what every guy wants and how he likes it… call it intuition"

"Well your intuition is pretty spot on" he laughed, "I've never had a girl let me do _that_ before"

"I'm up for anything" she smiled, sauntering over to him and leaning down to press a small parting kiss to his lips, "and that idea about facetiming my ex? Perfect by the way" she praised, "I can just imagine his face after that, all mopey and sad, just the thought makes me wanna laugh"

He broke out into an award winning smile, reaching out to tug her down across his lap, "do you really have to go now?" he asked quietly, "how about one more time, for the road?"

She smirked deviously, cocking a brow, "that'll be the tenth time in a space of eight hours, you sure you can handle it?"

He reached for her hand, guiding it under the covers until she was touching his semi hard cock and her body buzzed as he sighed in pleasure, slowly helping her stroke it.

"Yeah, I can definitely handle it" he whispered, "have to so I can keep up with your stamina"

"I guess then I could spare fifteen minutes" she whispered sultry, manoeuvring herself so she was next to him, pushing the covers down and wrapping her hand around his length, slowly tugging at it so his whole body jerked and a deep groan escaped his parted lips, "you better hold on tight cos this time?" she smirked devilishly, leaning down to wrap her lips around the flushed head, holding his gaze, "this time I will _blow you away_ "

* * *

"You told me you were camping!"

"Uh… technically we were" Stiles muttered, "it was just… in Mexico" he shrugged as his father glared at him, "no big deal"

"Your ass is grounded until you graduate"

"Wha-no" he gasped, "you can't do that because you know you would all be dead without me and my mad planning skillz"

His dad pursed his lips, frowning thoughtfully, "I can't keep you under control, can I?"

"And you're only just figuring this out _now?!"_

His dad rolled his eyes, meeting Scott's gaze, "so Derek has been… what exactly?"

"Ages backwards somehow" he answered promptly, "by Kate… who now isn't dead"

"You're all giving me a headache" his dad groaned, placing his head in his hand.

"We just need to talk to him, that's all"

"Well so far he's not talking to anybody"

Scott sighed and shared a knowing glance with Stiles who just dropped his shoulders in defeat, the full reality of what the hell was going on kicking back in.

"… What else aren't you guys telling me?" his dad wondered, "you have that look on your faces again"

"Um… didn't you tell him?" Scott whispered, "about… you know what"

"You know what-what?" his dad asked, "boys, come on, no more secrets remember"

Stiles blew out a long breath, unable to meet his dad's wondering gaze. He didn't tell his dad because he didn't know how to – he didn't know how to say, to an officer of the law, that his girlfriend (or former girlfriend) was now, basically, a serial killer. His dad was a man of the law and he was honestly scared about how he would react.

Just like always when he began to talk about Kayla, his eyes starting filling up with tears, glancing up tiredly.

"When uh… when we were in Mexico um… something happened"

"What happened?" his dad asked, "something bad?"

"At first? No" he answered honestly, "it was the best thing that ever happened… and then suddenly, it wasn't"

"Stiles…"

"It's Kayla" he whispered, voice breaking, "we saw Kayla"

His dad's gaze remained unwavering, the information slowly starting to sink in, "Kayla? As in… your Kayla?"

"Yeah" he nodded, "my Kayla"

"But we-" his dad cut himself off, unfolding his arms and lowering his voice even though they were shut in his office, "-we _buried_ her… two months ago"

"That's true" Scott nodded, taking over where Stiles couldn't, "and she was dead. Really dead. And then something happened, we don't know what, and she wasn't dead anymore"

His dad blinked once, then twice, then a few more times as he met Stiles' nervous gaze, "but judging by your expression something about this isn't good, is it?"

"Dad I'm…" Stiles blew out a long breath, scrubbing a hand down his face, "I am so happy about this because I got her back. And having her back wasn't a reality a week ago, it was a dream. An impossible dream. But she's not… Kayla"

His dad frowned, "is she possessed? Like you were?"

"I wish it was that simple" Stiles murmured sadly, "no she's just… coming back to life _changed_ her" he said delicately, "and… she doesn't feel anything. Not for her friends, her family… me" he added, having to bite his bottom lip as his face screwed up, tears burning their way forward, "she came back wrong… and even though she's doing all these terrible things, a part of me doesn't care because I have her back… even if it's not the way I want"

His dad glanced between him and Scott, like he was making sure what he heard was actually correct, before he exhaled slowly, shaking his head.

"I can't believe it…" he murmured in wondering, "I saw her dead… I watched as we buried her… how can this be possible?"

"We don't know" Scott shrugged, " _she_ doesn't know. One minute she was dead, wherever she was, and then she woke up in the ground… choking on the dirt we buried her in"

"Stiles… are you okay?" his dad asked gently, looking like he wanted to bring him into a hug but stopped himself at Stiles' devastated look, not knowing what to do.

"Yeah Stiles, _are_ you okay?" and he jolted at the voice, the voice which seven hours ago had been taunting him through the phone as she had sex with another guy just to hurt him, "because, _clearly_ , you're the most _important_ thing" sarcasm dripping from her voice.

She grinned widely, sauntering into the room and kicking the door shut, "sorry for being late, I had some-" her playful eyes met his, _"-extra-curricular activities_ I needed to finish"

His dad literally stepped back in shock, his wide eyes glancing over Kayla's form, like a part of him thought she was just an apparition, a ghost, something other than real.

"Kayla, sweetheart you're…" the sheriff faltered, blinking quickly, "oh my god…"

"I've been getting that reaction _a lot_ lately" she played dumb to their amazement, "do I have something on my face?" she questioned sarcastically, meeting his broken stare and licking her lips, raising a single thumb to swipe at the corner of her mouth and he got her implications perfectly, her sexual side coming out.

Going down on another guy, no doubt.

His dad met her gaze, more nervously than Stiles had ever seen him look, "how are you here?"

"I drove" she nodded bluntly, "how else?"

"Are you really different now?" his dad asked "because Stiles said-"

"Stiles says _a lot_ of things Sheriff" she murmured, "he's all talk, yap yap yap" she made the talking motion with her hands, rolling her eyes, "he's just mad because I fucked some other guy, isn't that right baby?"

He stiffened, his hands curling at his sides.

"You're so transparent Stiles" she whispered, "sex is just sex, get over it. What I do, or who I do, isn't any concern of yours"

He was sure he saw his dad's hand inch towards his gun in his holster as Kayla got closer to him, her gleaming eyes peering at him seductively.

"Are you mad yet?" she asked quietly, taking a hold of the lapels of his shirt and tugging him forward, "have I made you furious enough to hate me?"

"No" he answered honestly, chest rising and falling rapidly against her own, "I don't hate you"

"Well you should" she nodded, "if you could've seen _all_ the stuff we did… the way he touched me…" she trailed off, smirking as his eyes darkened, "what I showed you was pretty tame, that guy was like an animal" she bit her lip, "it's making me horny just thinking about it"

He shook his head a little at his dad before he could pull the gun from the holster, meeting Kayla's stare again, "I'm not going to give up, no matter how much it hurts"

"You've felt _nothing_ yet" she seethed, warm things dusting along his as she spoke, hands gliding up to stroke the sides of his neck, "do you want to know what happened to me to make me like this?"

The whole room was frozen, staring in shock and fear as she pushed Stiles down onto the sofa, keeping her back turned from the others as she straddled his lap, flipping her hair over one shoulder and leaning down to brush their noses together.

"I was stuck with him… with the nogitsune" and his eyes widened, meeting her angered stare, "but time there, it works differently. It wasn't just two months… not even two years, or two decades… try closer to _two centuries_. Try infinite forever, all alone… with him. Can you imagine that Stiles?"

He couldn't, he really couldn't.

"Imagine… the cold, the darkness, everything that has ever terrified you happening all at once" she said quietly, revolving her hips against his to get comfortable, "try feeling non-stop pain… and torture… from him, when he's looking like _that"_ she nodded at him, rolling her forehead against his, "he looked _exactly_ like you as he tore me apart, time and time again… forever" she added, "I think my favourite was when he got inside here-" slowly raising a finger to tap her skull, "-and sliced my brain apart until I was _screaming"_

He jolted, his breaths coming in quick and uneven, his body shaking.

"I was stuck with him… because I saved _you"_ she sneered, "and then it got too much. The agony Stiles, if only you can _imagine_ … how he taunted me, touched me, showed me everything I could've had if I didn't save your life… it was never ending and then I started wishing it was _you_ there instead of me. That _you_ felt the pain _I_ felt. That _you_ were dead and rotting instead of _me_. And then I switched it off" she finished with, "I stopped caring and started hating because it didn't hurt as much and that's exactly what he wanted… he wanted me to be like him" her growl turned into a smirk, "and I was"

A tear ran down his cheek as she stepped up off of him, scoffing at his pathetic demeanour.

"So sheriff-" she twisted her head to stare at his dad, a smirk lighting up her features, "-does that answer some of your questions?"

No one said anything, too shocked to utter a single word.

"Now, surely you agree with me here" she smiled, "that I deserve some fun after all that… right Stiles?" she watched him closely, meeting his broken stare, "so if you'll excuse me, I have a town to tear up and a lot of people to fuck my through"

And with that she started walking to the door, not even sparing them a single glance and just as her hand fell on the doorknob, his dad managed to free the gun, probably about to tell her to 'freeze' or to 'stop where she was' but without even looking back she just threw her arm out and his dad flew back into his desk, letting out a pained groan.

"Next time you raise a gun to me-" she muttered, pausing and glancing over her shoulder, "-I'll make you kill yourself with it" and then she nodded, sending them all a bright smile, "good day"

 **A/N) hahaha kayla kayla kayla… and now stiles knows where she was AND HE FEELS SO GUILTY oh no but yay sheriff stilinski cameo ha, now the fun really does start to go wild next chapter ha so please please review and I shall see ya soon ha xxx**


	6. Chapter 6 - Hot n' Heavy

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any shape or form :(**

"Kaylz, wait stop-"

But all he got as an answer was the slamming of the door and he deflated, sagging back against the leather sofa and let out a long saddened sigh, his disappointed gaze unwavering from the door, like a part of him expected her to walk right back through.

But she didn't. And he hated how much that _killed_ him inside.

"Unbelievable" he heard his dad whisper to himself, running a shaky hand down his worn face, "this is just… it's not possible"

"That's our thoughts exactly" Scott murmured, "but somehow it is"

But he barely heard them, clenching his fingers around his pants legs and feeling an uncomfortable prickling sweat seize a hold of his body, his skin burning as he remembered her words – those words she muttered to him with so much hate and callousness he wanted to curl away from her and die, guilt surging through his veins.

"She… she was with him. That _whole_ time" he murmured to himself, "I thought… I thought she would be at peace but-but she wasn't. She was trapped with the nogitsune" he glanced up, willing the tears away, "she's like this… because she was in hell" he added with daunting realisation, his mouth going dry.

"We don't know that" Scott tried to reason with him gently, anything to ease the guilt before he hit the self-destruct button.

"I do" he mumbled, shaking his head as he leaned forward, his elbows digging into his knees, "she might not be the Kayla we knew, but I still know her. She wasn't lying" he dipped his head, a tear catching on his bottom lid, "that was the nogitsune's final move"

His dad sighed heavily, sharing a concerned look with Scott, "can we reverse it?"

"Change her back?" Stiles shrugged, glancing up, "how? How can we break through what she went through?"

"By reminding her of what she had" Scott spoke up, "the people she loved, the ones she fought for… maybe one day she'll remember what it felt like to be happy and loved…"

"Yeah… I hope so" he whispered, staring again at the shut door, "I didn't just get her back to lose her again" he explained feebly, "I can't and I won't. Not this time"

"Just… don't put yourself in danger son" his dad said seriously, "if Kayla really is dangerous now then…"

"She won't hurt me" he said confidently, "physically at least" he added in afterthought, "and I have to believe that or else I've got nothing" he shrugged, standing up shakily and peeking out through the blinds, eyes falling to deaged Derek and sighed heavily, "c'mon, the faster we figure out how to change Derek back, the quicker we might be able to help Kayla. If anyone can get through to her it's him"

* * *

"I want _that_ one"

The salesman cocked a surprised brow, twisting his head to look at the car she pointed at, "um… that specific model is worth in excess of $275,000 dollars…"

"And?" she demanded, "I. Want. It" she repeated, "but in red, yellow is too… _happy"_

He just laughed awkwardly, glancing around suspiciously, "is this a set up?"

She raised her eyebrows, sending him a heated look, "do you want my business or not?"

He gulped nervously, wringing his hands together, "Uh… okay, let me fetch the paperwork"

She smiled brightly, sending him a wink as she passed him her credit card, "good"

He soon scuttled away, still glancing over his shoulder like he couldn't believe someone of her age was buying a Lamborghini worth over a quarter of a million dollars and she just smirked at his expression, twirling a strand of long curled hair around her finger and leant back against the show car, curious gaze slyly gliding across the room.

Okay so she may have hacked into her trust fund… again. But so what? All that money was hers anyway, may as well make some use of it. Plus, it was a sweet car. It was a win-win situation.

She felt a gaze lingering on her and glanced over her shoulder, catching the stare of a young woman, probably no older than twenty and you could just tell she had the whole alpha female-sorority chic complex thing going on, no doubt a daddy's little girl and came from family money but _still_ \- she was _hot as hell._

Well… she always did have a thing for redheads.

She just lifted her hand, giving a small wave and a playful little smirk and the girl grinned back, her deep brown eyes smouldering hers and Kayla knew, right then, she had her right in the palm of her hand. She had hooked her, now it was just the line and sinker left.

So she turned back around, clasping her hands behind her back and waited patiently for the inevitable because, let's face it, it was _bound_ to happen.

"Emily. Emily Johnson" she felt a tap on the shoulder and smirked as she swivelled around, allowing her gaze to trail over her gracious curves before meeting her stare head on, "pleasure"

"Something I'm definitely good at giving" she smirked, "Kayla"

The girl, Emily, allowed her eyes to widen in appreciation briefly before smiling slyly, "do you go to college around her? Because I would definitely remember seeing someone like you…."

"Not exactly" she answered, keeping the girl on her toes, guessing and wondering.

"Because I was going to say, my campus is having frat party and you would be more than welcome to attend as my plus one"

"Party you say?" she smirked, "just what I'm needing"

"Good" Emily grinned, "so… no boyfriend?" she asked, "girlfriend?"

"None at the moment, but I'm open to anything"

Emily's sly smile widened, flicking some red hair over her shoulder and Kayla allowed her gaze to drop to the tight shimmering black dress she was wearing, hugging her curves and highlighting her naturally sexy stature and subconsciously licked her lips, that needy seductress inside of her purring in approval.

"That's exactly the response I was hoping to hear"

Oh she knew, hence why she said it.

A playful smirk pulled at Kayla's lips, glancing at Emily through her eyelashes and subtly tugged at the hemline of the black leather skirt she wore, lifting it a little up her bare legs and had the satisfaction of watching the girl gulp a little, the pulse in her neck quickening and a faint needy blush dust along her pale cheeks.

Because _girls_ man… weren't they amazing?

But just then the salesman reappeared, coughing to grab their attention and she rolled her eyes, twisting around to face him and let out an annoyed impatient huff.

"Yes?"

"I have the uh, the paperwork for you to fill in"

"Give me a minute" she said to Emily, giving the girl a wink as she took the pen from the man's hand, flicking through the booklet and barely even glancing at the terms and conditions, signing on every single dotted line there was.

"There" she flipped the papers closed, thrusting it back into his surprised grasp, "are we done now?"

He faltered, like he couldn't really grasp her words, "um… are you sure you don't want to read-"

"What I _want_ is my car" she interrupted, "which I just paid for so let me ask again: are we done here?"

"Y-Yes" he stuttered a little, looking at her a little fearfully as he held out the car keys for her, "uh… enjoy"

"Oh I plan to" she smirked, twisting back around to Emily and flashing her a wide smile, "fancy a spin?"

"In the car or with you?" she questioned, playfully letting her eyes tease her.

"Both" Kayla winked, "at the same time"

"I like the way you think" Emily giggled, twisting around so her long hair whipped through the air, swaying over to the brand new sports car and Kayla just watched her go, tilting her head to the side and admiring how her body moved in that tight little dress, letting out a content little sigh.

" _Damn_ … am I right?" she asked, smirking at the salesman and had the pleasure of watching his eyes widen dramatically, "aw baby, don't look so shocked just because I'm gonna get laid and you're not" she patted his shoulder, "though if you wanted, I could totally talk her into a threesome"

"Uh… heh uh… no, you're-you're alright" he blushed in embarrassment, stepping back, "enjoy your ride"

"Oh well, your loss" she laughed, spinning the keys around her finger as she jogged up to the car, admiring the sleek bright red exterior which was bound to get a few jealous stares before slipping into the driver's seat and immediately starting up the engine, letting it roar to life.

"Just a warning… I don't go slow" Kayla whispered, hitting reverse and revving the engine and Emily next to her just laughed, her eyes bright with excitement and a hint of danger.

"Just as well I'm a fast kind of girl"

And with that she raced off, leaving just the purring roar of a smoke trail behind her.

* * *

"And where are you going?"

"I'm going to go talk to the guy we should have gone to before"

Stiles blanched, "Uh... Yeah, I hate that guy"

"Don't we all" Scott agreed, prepared to make his way out of the station but Stiles grabbed his arm, halting him in his tracks, "wait uh… are you… are you going to tell him? About Kayla?"

Scott just shrugged, "I think so. As much as I dislike him he lost a daughter and Derek said he was pretty cut about it when he told him. Maybe if he knows she's alive he might be a little bit more helpful"

"I guess…" he grudgingly agreed, "just as long as father and daughter don't team up and assassinate us all" but as much as he tried to force the humour, he couldn't get rid of the sad tone his voice held.

"Hopefully" Scott agreed, his eyes flitting between him and Derek still seated on the bench outside his father's office, "are you sure you'll be okay with him?"

"Wha-yeah of course" he nodded, "go, I'll be fine"

"I know you want to look for Kayla-"

"If Kayla doesn't want to be found then she won't be" Stiles said heavily, "and yeah, I could just mope about and torture myself thinking about what she's doing, _who_ she's doing, or I could help my friends. I'm going for the second option"

Scott smiled, "thanks Stiles"

"Yeah yeah" he waved Scott away, a small grudging smile tugging at his lips, "now get out of here"

He watched Scott leave and once he was gone let his face fall, an exhausted sigh leaving his lips as he scrubbed a hand down his face, turning around to face Derek.

Everything just seemed like things were going from bad to worse and Stiles doubted he had even seen half of the terrible things that were going to happen.

* * *

She didn't _pretend_ to be an expert in sexual situations because she _**was**_.

She knew exactly what each different person liked, how they wanted it, how hard, how quick, how kinky. It was just natural instinct, like how cops knew to wield a gun. Which was how she knew this girl, Emily, loved it hard, fast and rough, none of that sappy shit that was a waste of time – just _straight_ to the good stuff.

The Lamborghini was parked haphazardly at the side of the road, the lights not even switched off as Kayla had her pressed into the cramped back seat, head between her legs and hands curled around her bare thighs as she hurriedly brought her to the edge without even coming up for air.

"Oh _**god**_ … oh… _oh_ … right there, yes, _yes,_ _ **yes-"**_

The girl's screams of intense pleasure echoed throughout the car as she buried herself deeper, tongue expertly swiping from side to side before flicking her clit, eagerly lapping her up as her hands suddenly yanked at Kayla's hair, holding her flush against her wet warmth as her body starting shaking in complete and utter euphoria.

She grinned to herself, gliding the palms of her hands upwards to cup the bare flesh of her hips, holding her still as she started squirming, breathless whimpers escaping her lips as she tightened her legs around her head, quaking in wonder.

Told you – she was _definitely_ an expert.

"Oh _god_ , oh, ohhhhh, yes… can I- _ **fuck**_ -can I cum?"

She didn't slow down, the pace of her tongue picking up as she hummed out a muffled sound of approval, completely dominating the perky little redhead as she jolted, back arching off the leather seats as her body quaked and buzzed.

Because, for real, _girls_ man… what could be more perfect?

"Ooooh _shiiiit_ …" Emily whispered, slowly coming down from her high as Kayla slowed down her town, swiping it through her wet folds and savouring the delicious sweet taste lingering in her mouth, her brain still spinning inside her head, "holy crap…"

Kayla smirked to herself, moving her lips to the inside of her thigh as she batted her eyelashes up at her, "I told you I was good at pleasuring…"

"Good?" she choked back some air, "fucking _amazing_ would be more accurate"

So she just grazed her lips up her body, bare skin sliding along Emily's sweaty one, letting her tongue flutter along the underside of her lacy bra before the girl lost patience and tugged her up, crashing her lips to her and muffling her moans as Kayla straddled her, her stomach twisting with want and lust as Emily's hand glided up her bare thighs, playfully hooking her slender fingers into the band of her underwear and pinging it back against her flushed skin before letting the tips of her fingers roll through her wet core.

The seductress inside hummed in approval, burying her face into Emily's neck and nipping a gentle little love-bite just below her pulse point, upping the ante as she felt her hips hurriedly try and circle Emily's palm, wanting – no, _craving_ – that inhuman pleasure to course through her veins, her teeth digging in harder until it was sure to bruise, letting out a low moan of need just as she heard a tap on the window and growled in disappointment.

"Whoops" Emily giggled, "looks like we've been caught"

She pulled back, unwrapping their limbs, "more the merrier, right?"

She climbed from the back, stepping from the car and smirked at the intruder and had the pleasure of watching his eyes widen at her choice of outfit – or rather, lack of.

"Deputy Jordin _Parrish_ " she purred, enjoying the way he blushed and tried to avoid staring at her underwear set, the sexy deep purple contrasting nicely against her tan skin, "what a surprise"

"Kayla?" he asked, totally shocked, "what are you doing?"

She snorted, "Isn't it obvious? Getting laid… or I _would_ be if you didn't so rudely interrupt"

He just seemed more confused, "but… I thought you were going out with Stiles?"

"I got bored" she pouted, "plus girls are _so_ _much_ more fun"

"Uh…" he frowned, still caught between embarrassment and shock, "you are aware I should probably take you in for inappropriate acts of public indecency and misdemeanour?"

"Yeah… but you're not going to do that… _are_ you?" she smirked, stepping forward to slide her palm up his rather firm chest, enjoying the way his heart missed a beat.

"Uh…"

"Deputy" she murmured sultrily, tilting her head to the side, "you like being called _deputy,_ don't you?"

He flushed red, adam's apple bobbing as he gulped loudly, "Kayla, this is highly inappropriate. I'm an officer of the law"

She just pouted in response, "well you're no fun, are you?"

He dropped his gaze, awkwardly glancing at the ground, "could you, uh, put some clothes on?"

"No" she smirked, twisting her fingers around his tie and spinning him around so his back crashed into her car, pressing her body tightly against his, "because I like the way you look at me like you're trying _not_ to look, it's cute"

If possible, his blush deepened, "I'll… I'm… have to… jail…"

"I'm sorry, what was that?" she smirked, playing with his tie and pressing her lower body against his, "I didn't quite catch that"

"You're seventeen" he exclaimed, "this is _very_ illegal"

"I won't tell if you won't" she whispered, leaning forward to allow her lips to just lightly brush along his own, laughing to herself at the way his breathing quickened, nervous little puffs of air escaping his parted lips, "aw, c'mon _deputy_ … don't you want a little taste?"

His body seized, his eyes widening as she tugged on his tie to close the gap, lips moving together in slow succession with each other's and she loved it – the feeling, the thrill, the total and utter sexual attraction that fuelled her, her free hand sliding up to grab his hair, tilting his head a little to the side to dominate the kiss.

A power rush surged through her, like live electricity was coursing through her body, her lips heating up and she **loved** the feeling – like she could _do_ anything, _be_ anything, and there was _nothing_ holding her back.

She hummed in appreciation, slowly breaking the wet kiss but gently nipped at his bottom lip, dropping his tie to wrap her fingers around his wrist and guide his slackened hand to cup her breast, smirking up at him as she gently urged him to grab at it, his nails sinking into her flesh.

"Whoops" she grinned, "I guess you just did something rather sexually inappropriate with an underage girl. _Tut tut_ deputy, you're not really setting a good example are you?"

He froze, staring down at her in shock as he finally came to his senses, the glaze disappearing from his eyes as he literally jumped away from her, wiping at his mouth.

"What… what?"

"It's okay" she whispered, "you can say you liked it. It'll be our little secret"

He still looked totally out of place, shaking his head to clear the fog that had settled over him, "uh… um… don't… what you do in your own time is your choice" he said professionally, nodding to the car where the girl, Emily, was peering through the window curiously, "just not in public places, alright?"

She saluted him playfully, "got'cha deputy"

The blush never left his cheeks though, slowly walking backwards to his patrol car, "and uh… I'll let you off this time"

She pouted, "that's kind of a shame, I was looking forward to you handcuffing me"

"Kayla, I'm giving you one last warning"

"Yeah yeah" she chuckled, throwing open her car door and sending him a smirk, "but for future reference… you're welcome to tie me up and lock me in the back of that car _anytime_ deputy hottie"

She slid in the drivers seat, seeing her discarded top and skirt and tugged them on, flashing a flustered Emily a grin in the back seat.

"So where's this frat party? We can continue our little rendezvous there"

* * *

"Thank Jesus" Stiles sighed through the phone, "so he's back to being fully grown sourwolf then?"

"One hundred percent" Scott replied, "he just sort of changed himself back"

"Well thank god he did because none of us knew how to do it"

Scott chuckled, "he's heading to the loft now to figure out how to track down Kate"

"Better him than me" Stiles parked in his driveway, putting the handbrake on, "did you uh… did you tell him about Kaylz?"

"Yeah, he was ecstatic" Scott answered, "full of optimism that we can turn her back – it was actually kind of scary seeing him _not_ be pessimistic"

Stiles snorted, "Derek and pessimism go together better than mac n' cheese" but just as he was about to switch the lights and engine off, he saw a figure sitting curled up on his porch steps and frowned, "uh Scott I gotta go, I'll catch you later alright?" but he shut the call off before Scott could reply, slipping out the jeep quickly and jogging up to his porch.

"Kaylz… what are you doing here?"

She pushed herself up, leather skirt askew and low cut strappy green top slipping off her dainty shoulders and even from here Stiles could smell the stench of alcohol oozing out of her.

"Well _Stiles-"_ she slurred a little, raising a hand to brush her wavy hair from her face, "-there was this frat party and I kinda got a _little_ drunk"

"Yeah… yeah I can see" he said gingerly, taking a seat next to her.

"But I'm not hammered" she claimed, "my brain is _so_ clear and not at all foggy"

"Are you uh… are you okay?"

She snorted at his question, twisting her head to the side to peer at him, "baby… I'm _aliveeee_ … I'm more than _fine_ , I'm fucking perfect"

"C'mon-" he stood up, brushing off the back of his pants before gently cupping the tops of her arms, "-let's get you inside"

She allowed him to help her stand up, pouting up at him, "I wish you were there, it was _soooo_ much fun. There were so many people I got to dance with and make out with and before the party I went down on this chic and it was the best thing ever…"

He ignored the hurt in his chest, carefully opening the front door and helped walk her in, ready to catch her if she fell or stumbled, "party's aren't really my scene"

"And then-" she snorted, as if remembering a funny moment, "-and then I fucked this guy so hard he came first so I snapped his neck" she whispered the last bit, turning around in his arms and staring up at him with wide eyes, "and the great part is… I felt _nothing"_

He nearly flinched, holding her drunken stare, "Kaylz… if you honestly feel nothing then why-" he paused, lifting a single gentle hand and swiping a curl away from her flushed face, "-why show up on my doorstep?"

"Because silly-" she giggled, slapping his chest playfully, "-I wanted to tell you about how much _fun_ I had without you"

He faltered, softly shaking his head as he peered across at her through the darkened hallway, "no… no I don't believe that. I think _somewhere_ , a small part of you wants to come home… "

"Nah" she shook her head, scoffing under her breath, "don't get all mushy Stiles" she pouted, reaching up to squish his cheeks together "it doesn't suit you" and with that she stumbled a little, escaping his grasp and tottering down the hall so to save her from injuring herself he flicked on the light, blinking at the sudden brightness.

"Kaylz-"

"I thought we agreed Stiles?" she hummed, almost falling over as she spun around to face him, "no more calling me that"

He swallowed the lump in his throat, extending his arms like he was reaching out for her but soon dropped them, willing away the painful ache in his chest.

"Kayla" he corrected, his voice cracking, "why won't you let us help you?"

" _Becauseeeeee-"_ she slurred, lifting a leg and trying to undo her laced heels, having to grab a hold of the wall for support, "-I don't _need_ your help"

"I… Kayla… you _do"_ he insisted, "if you just-" but she promptly went over her ankle, taking a hard tumble to the floor below and he forgot whatever he was going to say, dropping to his knees next to her and reaching for her bare ankle, soothing the joint with his fingers.

"Oh god… you okay?"

"I'm _fine"_ she protested, rolling her eyes and drunkenly shoving his hands away, "stop caring so much, it's sickening"

"I can't just _stop_ Kay" he whispered, "love doesn't work that way"

"It did for me" she said quietly, nothing but honesty shining in her voice, "I was with him for so long it made it easy to just switch it off. To stop loving, to stop _caring_ … and it was the best thing I've ever done" she admitted, "I feel so free and I _like_ it. I don't _want_ to go back to how I was Stiles… I hated that me. She was weak and selfish and stupid"

"No" he disagreed, sliding back against the wall next to her, "she was strong, and committed and stubborn but most of all… she was _human_. She felt everything and that made her amazing"

She scoffed a little under her breath, extending her long bare legs in front of her, "feeling is seriously over-rated"

"Caring can be hard, I get that" he said quietly, "I know how much you lost, how much pain you went through… but in amongst the bad there was also good. There was feeling happy and excited, experiencing love and hope… those are the strongest emotions of all"

She tilted her head back on the wall, gazing at him side on, "stop preaching Stiles, you're wasting your breath. All I feel now is lust… attraction… _want_ …" she listed off, "and trust me baby… it feels good"

"For a short while, maybe" he agreed, "but it's gonna catch up to you. The guilt, the fear, the sadness… I know that because Kayla, _my_ Kayla, is too stubborn to just give in. You won't have just shut off your feelings completely"

She smirked, reaching out to lay her hand on his thigh, "Stiles… take my advice" her words were still slurred, her eyes drooping shut, "move on and give up. Be who you want and fuck you want, I don't care" she repeated, "and having you following me around like a little lost puppy is gonna get boring _real_ fast"

"I can't"

"Why not?" she asked, frustrated, her brows scrunching together.

"Because I love you" he whispered, unwavering and strong, "regardless of what you do. You're _my_ Kaylz… I've already let you go once, but not again"

"Then be prepared to be disappointed" she shrugged, "because you, Stiles… you are the one person that I despise more than any other" she said quietly, "I look at you and I see him and I remember all the pain he caused, all the agony and torture… there's no coming back from that. All that love got _burned_ out of me as he sliced me apart until there was nothing left, only to start all over again, day in, day out"

His eyes were burning with tears as he reached out for her hand, intertwining their fingers, "if I could go back in time and change things, I would. I would _save_ you"

"Yeah, well…" she jerked her hand away, "you're a little too late Stiles. Like always"

Shame welled in his veins, guilt tearing through his chest as he dropped his stare to his lap. Of course it was his fault, he knew that already, but hearing it pass her lips was something so much more torturous than anything he had ever felt.

"But just because I hate you it doesn't mean I don't have any use of you" she mumbled, drunkenly pushing herself up to crawl onto his lap, "out of all the people I've screwed since I've been back, you're still the only person to make me feel _everything"_ she purred, hands tangling through his hair, "that guy, at the frat party?" she persisted, leaning down to brush their noses together, "I was thinking about you as I fucked him. I imagined it was you inside me as I rode him, that it was your hands on my body... your lips... All I could think about was the way your naked body felt against mine" she dipped her head down to playfully nip at his neck, slowly grinding down against him, "how you kissed me… the way you used to pin me down until I was in your mercy…" he felt her smirk, tugging lightly at his hair as she traced her tongue across the prominent vein in his neck, "… Hmmm… your body Stiles, I want it _so_ bad…"

Was this really the only love she was capable of feeling? The love of sex and attraction and nothing more? Were all their talks and moments just wiped away now? Didn't the fact he knew her, inside and out, and she him not mean _anything?_

"Kaylz-"

"Shhhh" she placed a single finger against his lips, pressing her body tightly against his so he could fell her curves, the hardened peaks of her breasts digging into his chest "don't speak… just kiss me"

He wanted to, he _yearned_ to, his body aching to just reach out and tug her close, hold her in his arms and whisper how much he loved her but he froze, gazing at her expression. It was needy and full of want, her pupils dilated as she glanced down at his parted lips and he literally _felt_ her desperation – how badly she needed to have sex, like it was some sort of drug and he was her next hit.

"I… I can't" he admitted quietly.

"Why not?" she pouted, revolving her hips a little against his crotch and sliding her palms down to cup his cheeks, "is it because other guys have fucked me hard enough to leave bruises?"

"No…" he shook his head, flinching at the reminder, "I just… I want _all_ of you back. I want the girl I fell in love with… not just her body"

"But you can't have that" she purred, sliding her soft lips against his, enticing him in, "she's still dead Stiles"

His body hummed as she grinded that little bit harder, tightening her legs around his hips and bringing him forward into a slow kiss, that gentle fog settling over his brain.

"Hmmmm" he murmured, his low moan getting lost against her mouth before she pulled back, reaching for the hem of the strappy top and pulling it free from her body, discarding it to one side.

"It's okay to admit you want me" she whispered, reaching down for his hands and bringing them up to cup her breasts over her low cut bra, "we used to have such _amazing_ sex Stiles, don't you remember?" she asked, encouraging his hands to gently squeeze her perky breasts, "don't you want that again?"

He did, of course he did, but he wanted _more_. He wanted something real, not something empty.

"I…" he glanced down at her body, his thumbs stroking the bare skin of her breasts, "I want you to love me"

"Mmmmm" her hands slid up his arms, tilting his chin up, "Stiles… please… _please_ fuck me? And I'll love you _all_ night long"

Her arms were around his neck, softly bringing him forward to kiss him, her tongue swiping out at his bottom lip and he felt himself falling head first, getting lost in the insatiable moment that sent warmth coursing through his body.

He remembered this, her kisses. He remembered how they made him feel so safe and wanted, how something so simple as her lips could make him forget about everything bad that was happening.

So he kissed her back, hesitantly at first but when he breathed in her scent, still that familiar floral vanilla that he loved so much, he found himself grabbing her bare waist to hold her closer, parting his lips to allow her in, their tongues dancing together as one.

She dropped a single hand, sliding it down his chest to fiddle with his belt and buckle, happily untying it before letting her hand slip past the waistband, slowly staring to palm his hardening length through his boxer shorts.

He felt her hum in appreciation, softly letting the tips of her fingers stroke him through the material, "oh Stiles…" she gasped a little as he broke the kiss, trailing his wandering lips along her jaw line, "take me right here, right now"

His hands caressed every inch of her, sweeping over bare warm skin and slipping underneath the tight little skirt she was wearing, lips dusting along the base of her neck as he trailed the tips of his fingers across the dampening lace of her underwear.

She moaned, free hand that wasn't softly stroking his length reaching out to grab a fistful of his hair, _"right_ there baby"

Her breathless whimpers echoed inside his mind, aching to feel her body as he pressed that little bit harder against her underwear and was rewarded by a pleased moan, her hand tightening around his dick as she finally slipped her dainty hand past his boxer shorts, tugging gently at his length that twitched in her grasp.

"Mmmmm Stiles… fuck me better than all those other guys did" she said sultry, circling her hips against his palm, her thumb swiping out across the head of his dick, _"please_ Stiles…"

But he paused, his hands stopping as he pulled back to catch her gaze, no love, no emotion shining there, just pure raw _need_. He could pretend for the night, get lost in her touch and fool himself into believing she was fully back or he could stop deluding himself into thinking this was something more than a meaningless screw for her. Because that's all it was – a source of pleasure.

"Kaylz…"

"No" she cut him off with a small growl, "don't stop now"

"I… I can't" he whispered, retracting his hands, "I'm sorry"

She scoffed, that once half affectionate needy stare leaving her eyes as she climbed off his lap, "fuck you Stiles"

"Kaylz, wait, please stay-"

"Why?" she drunkenly pulled herself to her feet, shrugging back on her top, "you can't give me what I want so I guess I'll just find someone who can"

"No wait, Kayla stop-" he scrambled to his feet, grabbing her arm before she could storm from the house, her drunken state causing her to stumble and nearly pass out, "-let me look after you"

" _No"_ she slurred heavily, "I don't need anyone to look after me so just… go away"

But he didn't let go, tugging her over to the sofa and helping her sit down but despite her protests he could tell the alcohol was going to her head, her eyes dropping shut.

"Kayla, hey Kaylz-look at me" he requested, titling her chin up, "hate me all you want but please… _please_ just let me look after you, okay?"

He expected a heated answer, a shout or even a shove but what he didn't count on was her passing out right then and there, collapsing forward into his chest so he had to clumsily grab her and hold her up, swiping some sweaty strands of hair from her face.

"It's okay Kaylz, I got you… I got you"

 **A/N) LOL wtf kayla stop sexing everyone up (im sure this has been established before tons but just to clarify: Kayla is bi af ha) and ha sorry, had to write parrish being all "its illegal" but yay a little stayla interaction ha, it was a little cute at the end but still sexual tension is strongggggg ahhaha hope you all liked and please please please review and I shall see you next time lovelies xxx**


	7. Chapter 7 - Let the games begin

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any shape of form at all (sad face) ha, anyways, I love all of the follows/favourites/reviews, they make my day and a massive shout out to Jocie413x2 (ha), Amandalucia, XxxXCherriesXxxX, xnathiagrey, Guest, Elliedragon, zvc56, linda96 and Guest for reviewing, you're all the best and hope you like this next update x**

 _'Over and over the only truth_

 _Everything comes back to you'_

He ever so gently manoeuvred her body back onto the sofa, propping up a couple of cushions and laying her head on them, swiping some damp strands of chestnut hair away that had stuck to her flushed face before carefully rolling her on her side, tilting her chin up a little just in case all the alcohol didn't settle in her stomach and she had to be sick before letting out a long breath and letting himself slide down to the carpet below, his back against the front of the sofa.

"You know… you can keep trying to break my heart Kaylz but I'm not going to stop caring" he admitted quietly, tilting his head around to stare at her through the dusky room, " _never_ , and that's a promise, okay?"

She never replied, completely passed out and pretty much dead to the world.

"These past two months have been... They've been hell" he settled on saying, "in fact maybe that's an understatement. It's been worse than that. Losing you... I wasn't ready for that and when you died... The moment you stepped in front of that sword... I..." He paused, glancing at her slack face through the dark, reaching out to trail his fingers along her cheek, "... I gave up. On _everything"_ he mumbled, "because I didn't want to live in a world that you weren't in. Nothing felt right without you there and now you're back... I'm so damn happy baby" he whispered, "I am. Because I'm so in love with you that nothing else matters and..." He paused, gathering his thoughts as he wished he could see those pretty green eyes again, the ones he thought long lost, "... And I don't care how long it takes, or how hard you fight against me, I _will_ get you back. Because you deserve another chance and I'm going to give it to you"

She stirred a little in her sleep, letting out a low groan before settling back down again, her lips parted as she breathed evenly and he watched her, studying the way her mouth framed around the little puffs of warm air, how her chest rose and fell so rhythmically it was hypnotising, having accepted the fact that just two days prior he wouldn't see her breathe or feel the way her heart raced beneath his touch.

"I love you Kayla..." He murmured, titling his head back so it rested next to hers, eyes soaking up how innocent and carefree she looked just sleeping, wishing more than anything she wouldn't push him away, "I just wish that right now you loved me back too"

He lost her only to get her back again, but not really, and that was the worst torment of all.

* * *

 _"One hundred and seventeen million_ Derek" Peter raged, "all that money - gone. _One hundred and seventeen million._ We're screwed"

"That money is the least of my concerns right now" Derek murmured, gazing out the loft windows at the endless streams of lights below.

"You mean Kayla?"

Derek slowly turned around, a frown tugging at his brows, "we should be thinking about how to turn her back. Family is more important than money"

"Derek, she doesn't have some curable disease, she flipped the switch" Peter exclaimed, "and once that happens it's nearly impossible to flip it back on"

"Exactly" Derek nodded, "nearly impossible. _Nearly"_ he emphasised, "which means it can be done"

"Highly unlikely" Peter shrugged, "if Kayla doesn't want to feel then she won't. Only _she_ can decide to feel those emotions again and judging by what Scott said, she doesn't want to feel a damn thing, she's having the time of her life"

"I don't believe that" Derek shook his head stubbornly, "she's in there somewhere, I know she is"

Peter just sighed heavily, strolling up next to his nephew, "she was never meant to come back Derek. Resurrection has its consequences and maybe this is hers" his voice faded a little towards the end, hating how he got so choked up with emotion.

"Do you honestly believe that?"

Peter had no idea what to believe anymore.

"I don't know" he mumbled, "but something I do know is coming back from the dead, especially after months, is dangerous. Do you want to know what happens to a body after two months in the ground?"

Derek flinched, his stomach churning, "I don't particularly want to know"

"Probably best, it's not a pretty picture" Peter warned, "what I'm trying to say is there was obviously a lot of dark magic used to bring her back, maybe if we figure out who has that kind of power, we can find out how to fix it"

Derek nodded, for the first time agreeing with Peter's thought process, "we find who or what brought her back, we get our answers"

Or so they hoped.

* * *

She should've known that mixing vodka and tequila was _NOT_ a good combination, not to mention the keg of beer she had downed but to hell with the consequences. She was alive and free to do whatever the hell she pleased.

She almost choked on her words though as she felt her stomach churn, a well of sickness pooling in her gut and she almost never had time to roll forward before she felt herself retching, her throat burning.

Bleh... Disgusting.

"Whoa, hey, you're okay" she felt a gentle palm land on her back, rubbing calming circles between her shoulder blades, "easy does it"

She didn't have time to answer before she felt her stomach twist again and she had to screw her eyes shut as she hurled into the well placed basin below.

"Ugh" she groaned quietly, letting her head drop so it was hanging off the sofa, not even caring her loose hair was all over the place and her make up had probably long since slid half way down her face, "mixing spirits is a lethal combination"

"Yeah, you don't have to convince me of that" the half amused, half worried voice murmured, "do you want a glass of water?"

She licked her dry lips, wiping at her mouth and rolling onto her back only to gaze up onto Stiles' concerned face floating above her because _of course_ it would be him. There was no escaping him was there?

"No" she sucked in a deep breath, blindly pushing herself up and shrugging off his hands as they tried to help her, "the only thing I needed from you you didn't give to me"

He flinched, perching himself next to her on the sofa, "it would feel wrong Kaylz"

"It's _Kayla"_ she ground out, placing her elbows on her knees and running her fingers through her tangled hair, "stop with the nicknames Stiles"

"S-Sorry" he whispered softly, glancing at her from the corner of his eye, "but I... I couldn't, not when you're like this. It would feel like I'm-like I'm cheating"

She furrowed her brows, sending him a disbelieving look, "you are aware that makes absolutely _zero_ sense right? First off, we're not a couple and second, even if we were how is having sex with me cheating?"

"It's uh... It's hard to explain"

"But you weren't thinking of me when you were trying to get into some other girls pants now, were you? Don't be a hypocrite Stiles"

He felt guilty enough without the reminder, his chest starting to ache at her harsh words designed just to hurt him and tear him apart into a million little pieces.

"The point is I just... I couldn't" he whispered, "I want loving, affectionate. passionate love, not emotionless sex"

"Well I do" she swivelled her head to stare at him, unwavering calm eyes piercing his stare, "but it's fine Stiles, there's plenty of other people that can meet my needs" and with that she threw him a dirty look before standing up and striding towards his front door without even a backwards glance.

"So, what?" He called out to her, "you're pissed I never had sex with you? Is that it?"

She clenched her fists, turning around to glare at him, "I'm pissed at you for a lot of things Stiles"

"I don't believe that" he shook his head, "I think you're mad because I'm making you feel things that you don't want to feel. I think you are trying _so_ hard to hate me because, deep down, you know you don't. You love me"

"Well-" she scoffed, rolling her eyes as she folded her arms over her chest, "-someone has an ego"

"If you really hated me as much as you claim you would've killed me by now" he logiced, stepping up to her, "but you haven't, you haven't even laid _a finger_ on me and do you know what that says to me?" He asked, catching her gaze and holding it, "it tells me you don't want me dead because somewhere, a small part of you cares"

"Or maybe I want you to watch as I tear down this town around you" she snarled, "just so you know that it's _all... Your... Fault"_

"...N-No" he shook his head adamantly, "I choose not to believe that"

He could see the frustration on her face, her anger slowly brimming to the surface so much he felt a small quake in the ground, the walls starting to shake.

"Believe what you want, I don't care" she denied, "because sooner or later you're going to realise how wrong you are"

"I sat with you" he claimed quietly, "the _entire_ night. I sat right there-" pointing behind him at the, now, empty sofa, "-and do you want to know what I saw? I saw _my_ Kaylz and not the thing you're pretending to be and nothing you do will convince me otherwise"

She scoffed under her breath, clenching her jaw, "how nice it must be to be so blissfully ignorant Stiles, now goodbye"

He panicked, watching her trying to leave again and raced forward, slamming the front door shut with a single hand, his chest pressed tightly against her back.

"Remember... _Remember_ Kayla... You were my hope" he whispered in her ear, "you're the reason I got this far. After everything we've been through... The nogitsune... You _never_ gave up on me, so I'm not going to give up on you"

She faltered, turning around so their chests touched, annoyed green eyes peering directly up at him, "I wish I did" she said quietly, "you were the worst mistake of my life and trust me, there's been a few, so congratulations" and with that she pushed at his chest lightly so he fell back a couple of steps, staring over at her in hurt, "I regret _everything_ we were"

"No... No you don't" he claimed stubbornly, hand slipping into his pants pocket and pulling out the single bit of folded up paper, holding it up for her to see, "We found this in my jeep... The letter you wrote me" he watched as her eyes widened a little, settling on the crumpled bit of paper in his hands, "this was written from the heart. It told the truth" he emphasised, "remember?"

She never said anything, slowly lifting her gaze from the letter up to his face, staring intensely at his expression for what felt like an eternity but when he thought he might just be getting through to her, reminding her of who she really is, she reached out and grabbed the letter from his grasp and ripped it up right in front of him, letting the little shreds of paper fall to the floor.

"No, it was written by someone who thought she needed you in her life. Now I realise I don't" she turned back around, throwing open the door but glanced over her shoulder and smirked at his broken expression before making her way down the porch, a new spring in her steps.

* * *

"So she really just... Left?" Scott questioned, completely dumbfounded, "after all that?"

"After all that" Stiles confirmed sadly, getting agitated as he kept punching in the wrong numbers on his locker combination, "I thought for a second I got through to her, I could've sworn when I showed her the letter it jogged something but then she just tore it up and left"

"Maybe that's why she tore it up" Scott suggested, "because she felt something she didn't want to. It makes sense"

"Maybe" Stiles said glumly, "I don't even know anymore"

"If this is Kayla you're talking about then pause that thought" Lydia suddenly appeared, her eyes wide and looking slightly terrified, Kira and Malia flagging behind her, "because she's here"

"At school?" Stiles' eyebrows shot high into his forehead at that, quickly glancing at the entrance, "what? Why?"

"I doubt it's for an education" Kira mumbled.

"Probably to kill us all" Malia pointed out and Stiles just glared at her, "don't look at me like that, you're all thinking the same thing too"

"I'm thinking more payback" Lydia said sadly, "she wants to get into our heads, into _your_ head-" she added, staring directly at Stiles, "-what better way than somewhere we all have classes together?"

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer"

"Exactly" Lydia nodded, agreeing with Scott's statement, "and this is something I never thought I would have to say but be careful" Lydia's gaze fell on Stiles once more, her stare sympathetic but full of worry, "especially you Stiles. Kayla's capable of a lot of things now and you're, well..."

"Yeah" he nodded sadly, "I'm not exactly her favourite person now. It's okay, I get it"

Lydia smiled a little in pity, her eyes portraying nothing but sympathy at least until they heard the double doors open and they all looked up, shuffling against the lockers as Kayla sauntered through, literally grabbing everyone's attention who stopped to gawk at her in surprise and she just smirked, giving them all a sarcastic little wave.

"Someone really needs to deck her"

"Malia…" Stiles groaned, throwing her a knowing look, "last time you tried your head ended up through my jeep window"

"Why are you reminding me of that? I didn't want to remember that"

"In case you went and did something stupid like attacking her and ending up dead"

"Wouldn't be me that ends up dead"

"Wanna bet?" and Stiles jumped at the voice right next to him, jerking back around to see Kayla grinning at them, standing still but still managing to grab the attention of everyone in the corridor, "how about a rematch, right here-right now?"

"Malia – _no"_ Lydia and Kira had to literally drag Malia back by the arms as Kayla laughed, totally amused by the situation, "Kira why don't you take Malia for a coffee or something?"

"Yeah" Kira nodded, a little breathless trying to hold back the coyote, "good idea, come on Malia" she dragged the girl away down the corridor but Malia kept throwing dirty looks over her shoulder at Kayla, her distaste and anger obvious.

"Can you believe there was a time I actually kinda liked her? Yeah, me neither"

"Kayla… what are you doing here?"

"Getting myself an education" she answered simply, "what else?"

"Kaylz, c'mon-" he pleaded, "-no more games"

"Games are fun though" she smirked and it was then Stiles noticed her choice of clothes, one of the many reasons everyone that passed stared so much like their eyes were glued open and he felt himself getting a little hot under the collar, gaze trailing down her tight purple laced top, split down the middle of her chest and decorated with dark purple ribbon down to the short black silky leather skirt that hugged the tops of her thighs and waist, the slight heels she wore only further emphasising her slender and agile frame, how she held herself so confidently and powerfully that everyone just knew her presence was there to intimidate and to rule – that she was someone you should bow down to, not try and control.

He snapped himself from staring, meeting her gaze as she giggled and leant forward, dark red lips tickling along the lobe of his ear, "Hmmm… I bet you wished you fucked me now, huh?"

He flushed a deep red, gulping nervously but all she did was pat his chest and pull back, sending him a playful wink.

"It's okay Stiles, I'm over it. There's so many more fish in the sea" and then he watched her gaze slide over to Scott, sending him a sultry look, "like, for example… an alpha" she smirked and Stiles could tell Scott was getting a little uncomfortable at the sexual attention, frowning over at Kayla, "I bet you like it a little rough huh?"

"Uh… um…" Scott fumbled over his words, blushing a scarlet, "Kayla-"

"I could keep up with you… all day… all night" she purred, biting her lip as she slid her hands up his chest, stepping against him and pinning him to the locker, "I've always had a thing for werewolves" she admitted, not letting Scott drop her gaze, lips barely just brushing along his, "maybe it's the way they wolf out during… how rough they are with their claws…" she smirked, enjoying watching Scott squirm, "little Scottie is not so innocent after all"

Silence fell, none of them knowing what to say.

"Oh relax guys, I'm just playing" she laughing, patting Scott's chest as she pulled back, "y'all really need to lighten up a bit. You're all so damn dull so how about we have a little fun hm?" she turned her gaze to Stiles, cocking a brow, "how many people do you think go to school here?"

"Uh…" he was flummoxed by her question, totally caught off guard, "I don't know, a thousand maybe... Why?"

"Because before the school day ends I will kill one of these totally helpless little school kiddies and you have less than eight hours to try and stop me" she answered simply and his blood ran cold, "and I'm going to keep doing that every single day until you all realise you can't _fix_ me, you can't _beat_ me and you certainly can't _stop_ me" she flashed them all a smirk, "good luck and let the games begin"

* * *

"… -saac.. Isaac, hey, babe, are you even listening to me? _Isaac?"_

"Huh?" he murmured, just tuning back into Paige's concerned but slightly annoyed voice, "sorry, I zoned out"

"Yeah, I noticed" she pulled him to a stop in the middle of the corridor, tightening her grip around his hand, "is everything okay?"

Everything was the complete _opposite_ of okay but it wasn't exactly something he felt comfortable talking about with Paige, not even after him telling her about the supernatural (or rather, most of it).

"Uh… yeah, sorry, just thinking"

She frowned, blonde hair in beautiful light curls around her shoulders, piercing stare peering up at him knowingly.

"Well I thought you would be happier today, Kayla's back" she announced and he jolted at that abrupt statement, eyes widening in shock, "and finally, an actual reaction" she said sarcastically, dropping his hand, "I've been trying to talk to you for the last hour and _nothing_ but as soon as I mention her name it's like you just come alive"

He ignored her snappy statement, glancing around quickly, "you mean she's back in school?"

Paige narrowed her eyes, "yes in school" she sighed heavily, folding her arms in annoyance.

"Uh… why are you looking at me like that?" sensing his girlfriend's anger at him and not exactly knowing why – okay he sort of did, he may have been ignoring her recently because he had more pressing matters on his hands – and he certainly didn't want a furious blonde out for his blood.

"Because I'm pissed, that's why"

"… Why?"

She scoffed loudly, grabbing the attention of several students around them, "are you really that _oblivious_ Isaac?"

Apparently he was because he had no idea why he was in the firing line – he didn't think being a little distant warranted this much anger.

"It's like Harry all over again" she murmured, "whatever Isaac, go find Kayla, see if I care"

"Hey, whoa whoa, what?" he grabbed her arm before she could dash off, frowning down at her in concern, "what are you talking about?"

"You know _damn well_ fine what I'm talking about"

"Uh… no I don't"

Wow, he was _so_ clueless at relationships.

"You're still hung up on her"

"What? No I'm not, I'm _not"_ he shook his head quickly, "why would you think that? She's just a friend. My _best_ friend. I promise"

"You ignore me for the best part of an hour but as soon as I bring up Kayla you're all fine and dandy, what do you expect me to think?"

"I… I just didn't expect her back here, that's all" he lied, "in school I mean. So when you brought her up I was just shocked, that's all. Come on Paige, don't be so ridiculous"

 _"Ridiculous?"_ she exclaimed loudly and he realised he put his foot in his mouth –  again, " _I'm_ being ridiculous? Wow!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that-"

"You still like her, just admit it"

"I don't"

"You do"

"I think I know my own feelings Paige. I like _you"_

"Do you?" she questioned, "because this relationship is starting to feel rather one sided" and he deflated at her biting tone, shame filling his veins, "urgh, excuse me, I need to use the restroom" and with that she whipped around, long blonde hair flying around like razor blades as she stormed off to the bathrooms, leaving him standing there in the middle of the corridor like a fool, staring after her.

Relationships were so damn complicated – why did no one ever tell him this?

"Trouble in paradise?" and he jumped at the voice, spinning around to see Kayla just ten feet in front of him, a little amused smirk tugging at her lips, "I did warn you she was high maintenance"

"Kayla…" he faltered, remembering she wasn't the same Kayla they all knew and loved, immediately sticking his guard up, "out of everywhere you could've gone, you come back to school?"

She just shrugged, slowly sauntering up to him, "aren't you pleased to see me?"

Of course he was – his best friend was alive and kicking and not stuck in the grave he helped dig, anyone would be pleased at that, but he remembered the events in Mexico, how she was this-close to killing him, draining him dry just by a single kiss that he didn't exactly know how he should feel.

"…Of course I am Hale" he whispered, "having you back is great…"

"But…?" she trailed off, an amused gleam shining in her gaze.

"But… it's not you. Not really" he shook his head, "it's like you're… you're just an empty shell. You look like Kayla, you talk like her, but without your emotions you're just not the same"

"You're right, I'm not" she nodded, guiding him backwards so his back gently hit the lockers, "I'm so much more better now"

"Hale…" he whispered, softly shaking his head, "you were perfect the way you were"

"Aw, cute" she deadpanned, tilting her head curiously to the side, fiddling with the buttons on his shirt, "but you really shouldn't be saying things like that, not when you have a girlfriend. Tut tut Isaac, someone's being a bad boy"

"I didn't-I wasn't meaning it like that-"

"Is that why you were arguing? About me?" she asked curiously, looking utterly delighted as she read his facial expression as a 'yes', "Paige has always been jealous of me"

"We were arguing because… because she thinks-"

"She thinks you still love me?" she guessed, biting her lip to stop her giggles as she pressed her chest against his, one hand brushing over the flushed skin of his neck, "well… do you?"

"N-No-"

"Don't lie Isaac" she interrupted, "you still have the hots for me a little, I can tell"

He gulped, gaze trailing down her figure before meeting those highly amused pointed green eyes and he flushed even deeper, pulse quickening beneath his skin, something she definitely picked up on.

"You're my best friend… that's all" he said, trying to convince himself more than her, "and that's the someone I want back"

"You know what's funny about what you just said?" she whispered, leaning up on her tip toes so they were nose to nose, "is that, when you look at me… all I feel is this sexual attraction coming off you in waves and I kinda like it"

"Kayla-"

"Do you want me to let you in on a little secret?" she interrupted, fisting his shirt and tilting her head closer to his so that he could smell the faint whiff of vanilla and roses from her body wash, her long wavy hair tickling his neck, "before I died... when I used to have sex with Stiles… sometimes I would imagine it was you fucking me like that… your body, on mine… making me feel so fucking good… don't tell me you never dreamt about that?"

If possible, he flushed even more as he stared across at her, his body freezing at her warm hands locked him in place, pinning him to the locker, "U-Uh… heh, n-no-"

"Another lie" she grinned, "I know when you're lying Isaac so there's no point in fibbing" her hands made their way to his hair, curling it through her fingers, "you've dreamt about having me for _so_ long… what's stopping you?"

Her voice was so soft, so lulling that he found it hard to concentrate, like she was deliberately relaxing him, coaxing the truth from him.

"I… I…" her lips were brushing against his, her body pressing against his as he screwed his eyes shut, trying to pull himself from the fog that had invaded his brain, "… Hale… I can't… Paige-"

"Paige is half the woman I am, you know that" she grinned, tugging at his hair lightly, "remember how _badly_ you wanted me? How it felt when you kissed me… you remember, don't you?"

Well, she _was_ his first kiss, how could he forget? Especially one as mind blowing as that.

"Uh… um…" he gulped, losing the battle inside his mind, falling for her words without even fighting against it.

"It's okay, don't fight it" she whispered, cupping his flushed cheeks, "I'm not making you feel anything that wasn't already there… tell me Isaac-" and he couldn't concentrate on anything, not where he was, not what he was supposed to be doing, just on her voice calming him, coaxing him into pleasure, "-tell me you want me"

He barely felt his hands slide down to her hips, peeling his glazed eyes open and falling head first into bright pools of green, his numb mouth forming around words he never heard.

"I… I…" a small gasp escaped his lips, his body buzzing as she brushed her red painted lips against his, "I… want-want y-you…"

"Good boy" she praised, tip of her tongue sliding along his dry bottom lip, "how bad?"

How bad? He couldn't even answer that because all he felt was her body against his, her warm peppermint breath tickling his chin, how her tongue traced delicate patterns around his mouth, the way she trailed her fingers lightly all over his skin until he was buzzing for more, it was hypnotising and addictive all at once.

"That bad huh?" she chuckled as he tried to tilt his head forward to capture her lips, her seduction working like a dream, "what about Paige, hm?"

Who was Paige? He was totally blank, unable to think.

But she took his silence as her answer, grinning as she wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him forward into a heart stopping kiss, so passionate and awe-inspiring it had many others just gawking at them as they passed, especially as Kayla grabbed one of Isaac's hands that was gripping at her waist to slip down over the back of her skirt, urging him to touch her anywhere and everywhere he wanted and he did, grabbing at the hemline so he could run his fingertips over the lace of her underwear and she smirked, knowing she had won.

It was always so much easier to seduce someone when they wanted it and Isaac _definitely_ did. He might not love her but attraction, after all, was fatal. He had convinced himself he only thought of her as a friend, that he didn't 'fancy' her, but truth was he had been lying to himself. She felt it now, the built up sexual frustration and rejected attraction spilling out from him.

She may be his best friend, but people could still have the hots for their best friend.

"You have got to be _kidding me"_ a hurt but furious voice exclaimed and whatever drug induced seduction he was under suddenly got lifted as he heard that voice, jolting backwards and painfully banging his head off the metal lockers, blushing a fiery red as he realised where his hands were (because they should be _nowhere near_ his best friend's underwear) and dropped them to his side, guilt swelling up inside him as he met Paige's fiery but heartbroken eyes.

 _"Seriously_ Isaac?" she demanded, "not _five minutes_ ago I asked if you had feelings for her and you said no and now, what? You're fucking lip locking in the middle of the corridor with your hand up her skirt? Fuck you Isaac!"

"Paige, no wait, this isn't what it looks like-"

"I'm not an idiot Isaac" she screamed back, "so don't you _dare_ insult my intelligence – and as for _you-"_

"As for me _what?"_ Kayla laughed, swiping at her smudged red lipstick and grinning widely, "you should be used to this by now. Everyone _always_ picks me over you"

Paige curled her fists, anger welling to the surface, "so help me god Kayla, I will come over there and punch your lights out"

"Go on, try it" Kayla urged, "I dare you"

"Don't tempt me"

"Girls, please, don't" Isaac stepped between them, quickly trying to get rid of the red lipstick painting his mouth, "Paige I promise I can explain this-"

"Don't bother" she cut him off, "I _knew_ this would happen. It's obvious it's her you want and not me, this just proved it" she shook her head, turning her furious gaze to Kayla, "and to believe I actually thought you were my friend…"

"As-fucking-if" Kayla pronounced slowly, emphasising each syllable.

Paige scoffed loudly, "whatever, I'm done with the two of you. _We're through"_ she directed the last bit of her sentence to him, causing a surge of sadness to swell inside him.

"No wait, Paige _wait-"_

But she had already left, disappearing around the corner in a flurry of long blonde hair.

"Dammit"

"You asked why I came back?" she whispered, their arms brushing as she murmured those quiet, eerily calm words in his ear, "this. _This_ is why I came back. To slowly ruin all your lives one by one. Just wait until this gets around… Stiles is going to hate you" she singsonged, grinning against his ear, "because the idiot is still hopelessly in love with me, can you believe it?"

He sniffed, wiping at his nose with the back of his hand, "he won't give up on you"

"Oh he will" she vowed, "I'm going to make him hate me until he's _consumed_ by it. Until all he feels when he looks at me is anger and disgust, _exactly_ how I felt about him when I was _screaming_ in hell. So buckle up Isaac-" she warned, "-you're all in for one hell of a ride"

 **A/N) OOOOOOOOOOOOOH things be getting serious ha, and im so glad I kept Isaac In season four ha, poor everyone right now tbh but you had a little stayla, kind of,.. sort of… ha, doesn't that count for something? and wow kayla is still savage af I love it haha. Ooooh and next chapter we finally meet and find out who the three supernatural beings are that brought back Kayla, excitinggggggggg, so please please review and I shall see you all real soon xoxoxo**


	8. Chapter 8 - Leap of faith

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any shape or form – massive shoutout to BeccaSco, suzii3499, Amandalucia, EllieDragon, XxxXCherriesXxxX, Guest, Linda96, zvc56 and guest (lol don't worry defo more buff angry fighting stiles coming up, just have to wait a couple of chapters – and omg ikr so excited to see that film haha) you all rock and I love you, hope you enjoy x**

 _"Heart beats fast,  
_ _Colours and promises,_ _How to be brave, h_ _ow can I love when I'm afraid to fall?"_

"Oi Stilinski, question for you"

"Yes Johnstone?" Stiles ground out, tugging on the last bit of lacrosse gear and not even glancing around as he shoved his locker shut, itching to just get out of this damn locker room and on the field, let out some of his inner frustrations – and trust him he had a few.

"You still banging that girl of yours?"

"What?" he turned around, screwing his face up at his classmate, "why is that any of your business?"

"Because I'm wanting a little piece of the action, you know what I'm saying?" he laughed, slapping Stiles' arm in what was supposed to be portrayed as a friendly 'bro' hit or whatever but just made Stiles glance down at his arm in annoyance, "Lahey had his hands all over her ten minutes ago and oh _boy_ , what I would give to have been in his position. Nothing better than a dominant chic, you feel?"

Stiles hardly heard what he said, latching only onto one word, "Lahey? You mean Isaac?"

"Yeah man" Johnstone nodded, "even I gotta admit that was a little cold, isn't he part of yours and McCalls' little clique? Because I would never screw around with one of my mate's ex birds, no matter how good of a lay she is, which is why we're chill here right?" he asked, "we're not exactly on the same radar"

He scrubbed his hand, annoyance seeping onto his features, "No Johnstone, no we're not ' _chill'_ , why would you even ask me this?"

"Dude, c'mon, don't be bitter, you got your turn" his team-mate remarked, "plus she is a fine piece of ass…" he let out a long whistle, smirking at Stiles, "defo gonna tap that. You got any tips?"

Stiles just glared, clenching his fists at his sides, "Yeah, yeah I got some tips for you. You go anywhere near her I'll knock your teeth out"

"Whoa man, ease up a bit yeah?" Johnstone exclaimed, raising his hands, "we're cool. Plenty to go around"

He let out an irritated sigh, fire burning bright in his eyes, "we're not _cool_ jackass, in fact we are the polar opposite of cool so you wanted to know if it was okay? Well it's not. Hitting on my girlfriend is not okay, actually it's a pretty douche move"

Johnstone just frowned, "if she's still your girlfriend then why is she hitting up half the school?"

And at that Stiles just deflated, biting the inside of his cheek, "it's uh… it's complicated"

Complicated didn't even come _close_.

"Whatever dude, nice try-" he slapped his arm again, letting out a loud laugh, "-you almost had me there. I'll give her my number after try-outs and I may just be getting lucky tonight, you know what I'm saying?"

And if it wasn't for a pair of strong arms wrapping around his chest and hauling him back then Stiles may just have attempted to knock his teeth clean from his mouth because he was frustrated, angry and totally heart broken, now was _not_ a good time to mess with him.

"Whoa, Stiles, cool it" Scott advised calmly, "Uh, Johnstone, maybe you should go"

"Yeah, got the message loud and clear" he scoffed, "see ya on the field Stilinski"

Stiles just rolled his eyes, watching his team-mate disappear and matched his scoff loudly as he did so, escaping Scott's calming grip, "that guy is a dick"

"Yeah, a pretty big one" Scott agreed, "but try and not get too angry alright?"

" _Really_ Scott?" Stiles asked, blinking quickly as he stared at his friend in disbelief, "how can't I get mad when he's saying crap like that?"

"Just uh… take a deep breath" Scott advised, calmly patting his shoulder, "we'll sort it out, just like we sort everything out"

"Yeah, well-" he threw his lacrosse bag over his shoulder, "-I'm not so sure this can be fixed"

Scott just shot him a sympathetic look, following Stiles out silently and just as they reached the field Isaac jogged up to them, holding his lacrosse stick in front of him like some sort of defence, shooting them both nervous looks.

"Hey guys… how's it going?"

Stiles just glared, "Oh, fabulous, _really_. Nothing like hearing one your friends made out with your girlfriend and didn't tell you so I had to find out by jackass Johnstone of _all_ people. So yeah I feel absolutely _fantastic_ "

"Uh yeah… about that-" Isaac winced loudly, "-I'm _really_ sorry, I don't even know how that happened"

"Yeah, _sure_ you don't" Stiles scoffed bitterly, "how many times have I heard _that_ before?"

"Stiles, I am so sorry-"

"I know you are" Stiles interrupted, "and it's not _you_ I'm mad at, it's this whole sucky situation alright?"

"Yeah" Isaac nodded, deflating a little, "and uh… Paige saw the whole thing. Dumped my ass straight away"

"Sorry" Stiles said quietly, his voice flat, "I know you really liked her"

"It's okay, I'll talk to her after classes, try and explain"

"Uh… good luck with that" Scott murmured, "because she's glaring daggers at you"

They all turned around to the bleachers to see Paige sitting by herself, clutching her bag for dear life and staring so intensely at Isaac they all got goosebumps, sensing her lividness and fury.

"Thanks man" Isaac winced, "I'm definitely going to need it"

* * *

"So I heard you were in Mexico, how was that little trip?"

"Mexico – ha" she chuckled, scoffing in something close to amusement, "is that what they told everyone?"

Johnstone something or other just quirked an eyebrow down at her, obviously confused and she just patted his chest, "let's just say Mexico was… _enlightening"_

"Good, I'm glad" he flashed her that boyish grin, raising his arm and placing it on the bleachers next to her head, inching a little closer to her, "so uh… can we set the record straight here?"

"Of course" she smiled, "what do you want to know?"

"First things first…" he smirked flirtatiously, his free hand that wasn't leaning against the bleachers reached down to touch her hip, "you aren't still hooking up with Stilinski are you? Because although you're hot, screwing over a teammate – no matter how useless – is a pretty shitty thing to do"

"Stiles?" she chuckled, twisting her head to smirk in amusement at him on the field, totally distracted as he tried to keep her in his line of vision, "no, we're definitely through" she swivelled her head back around to stare at Mr tall dark and handsome, "I've decided to move onto bigger and better things"

"Hmmm, bigger you say?"

"Metaphorically" she corrected with an amused stare, "if there's one thing about him is he is _definitely_ not lacking in that area" she teased.

"How about we… after school…?" he trailed off, his implications perfectly clear as he laughed lightly, brushing his body against hers, "if you wanted?"

"Or how about now?" she grinned, reaching up to fiddle with his lacrosse shirt.

"Um… well I sort of have practice now…"

"Shame" she deadpanned, "because I am not a patient girl"

"Oh well, uh-" he laughed nervously, glancing around quickly, "-I guess I can do now"

"Right choice" she winked, slipping her hand into his and tugging him from the bleachers, "because baby… I'm gonna _rock your world"_

His eyes bugged from their sockets, trailing after her like a little lost puppy and she smirked to herself in accomplishment, glancing over her shoulder once more and saw Stiles' gaze latched onto them, watching with hurt and disbelief shining in his eyes, whatever he was doing completely forgotten about as he stood in the middle of the field and she could practically hear his heart breaking from a hundred feet away.

So she just threw him a smirk and gave a sarcastic little wave before disappearing from sight.

* * *

"Aw look, isn't that cute? You even saved me my old seat, how _sentimental"_ she laughed, sliding into the seat opposite Stiles and behind Lydia, "you lot are really warming the cockles of my cold dead heart"

Lydia was turned around in her seat, staring at her cautiously, "you're evil, what interest do you have in maths?"

"Aw _bestie_ , evil is a _little_ dramatic don't you think?" she smirked, "it's not like I'm planning world domination. Well actually, on second thoughts, that does sound rather fun"

"I'm fed up of hearing you voice" Malia growled, flipping her head around to glare at her, "can someone please get her to shut up?!"

"I think someone has anger issues" Kayla stage whispered, "and it _certainly_ isn't me"

Malia just snarled at her again, eyes flashing a dangerous bright blue until Stiles leaned forward and cupped her shoulder, urging her to just stay seated and keep calm and Kayla's gaze watched his fingers curl into her skin, thumb stroking the curve of her shoulder and she felt something surge through her gut at that little action – before she might've called that something 'jealousy' but that was ridiculous, she didn't get jealous, she didn't feel much of _anything_ these days, so just pushed those thoughts away, tearing her heated stare away from his hand and offered them all a tight smile.

" _Adorable"_ she deadpanned, "I'll be sure to vote for you as homecoming king and queen"

Stiles withdrew his hand at that, look saddening but as soon as his touch disappeared Malia seemed to get angrier, claws elongating and digging into the edge of the desk.

"Malia, Kayla and Lydia, up to the board please" Ms Flemming called out, "work out these equations"

That just seemed to make Malia madder, "I don't _want_ to"

"This isn't a negation" the teacher nodded, "board. Now"

Kayla smirked to herself, pulling herself graciously to her feet and leaned down to brush along Malia's arm as she passed, "if you get stuck, I'm sure Tabby's second grade notes might be useful"

Malia snarled again, about to lash out until Lydia looped her arm with hers and hushed at her to calm down, pulling her to the board and placed herself between Kayla and Malia – wise move, she thought, because a bloodbath was _bound_ to ensure.

Kayla just laughed to herself, picking up her bit of chalk and rushed through her equations, her mind working overtime as she scribbled her answers expertly – she may hate maths, but she _rocked_ at it.

"Miss Hale… very good" Ms Flemming appeared next to her, sending her a friendly smile, "I'm glad your time off didn't impact on your work" before walking over to Malia, frowning a little, "uh… I think you need to work a little harder"

She muffled her laugh with her hand, smiling in amusement as the teacher walked off and felt Malia's heated stare on her, the chalk in her hand breaking in two.

"What can I say? Maybe being dead did wonder for my brain - better than Omega 3... Oh and by the way sweetie-" she grinned, leaning towards Lydia to stare at Malia, "-the answer is X equals 25, any idiot should know that"

"Kayla, please, stop it" Lydia threw her a panicked look, "you're winding her up, she could turn right here"

She shrugged indifferently, "not my problem"

"It is, or at least it _should_ be" Lydia argued, turning to her, "we're your friends, your family… don't we mean anything to you?"

"I think I'm sticking with _no"_ she puckered her lips, gut churning with annoyance, "and don't blame me because your little four-legged friend has anger issues, keep your bitch on a leash"

Malia snarled, her eyes flashing again as she brushed past Lydia and wrapped her clawed hand around Kayla's neck, shoving her back against the board and letting out a low growl, her k-nines sharpening and she just laughed in delight because there was _nothing_ better than primal anger.

"That's right Malia, _let it out"_ she urged, "be who you really are… the hate filled _pathetic_ little girl that _murdered_ her own family"

Malia's grip loosened a little, deflating a little at that statement, like all the memories were rushing back to her so Kayla just smashed her forehead against the bridge of her nose, making her tumble backwards before grabbing a hold of her shoulder, placing her foot behind the back of her knees and flipping her painfully to the ground so she was standing over her, ready to smash that pretty little face in until Lydia – rather bravely she might say – forcefully grabbed her elbow to stop her.

"Girls, stop that right this instant" Ms Flemming screamed, racing forward, "what an _earth_ is going on?"

Kayla didn't answer, screwing her face up in distaste as Malia pushed herself up on her elbows, wiping away at the stream of blood inching down her chin.

"Because of that little stunt I'm changing the rules" she whispered, "you have an hour. One _second_ after that someone ends up dead and _that's_ on you" she glared at Malia, "let's see if you can stop me" and with that she scoffed under her breath, walking boldly through the crowd of teenagers that had formed to watch the cat fight to grab her bag and stalked from the room, anger racing through her veins.

* * *

"Crap, crap, crap" Stiles cursed, skidding around the corner with Lydia on his tail, "it's been nearly an hour and Kayla in this state is definitely not someone who's going to break her word, especially when it comes to killing people in cold blood"

"We have to split up" Lydia urged, "the others are covering as much ground as they can but it's not enough" she shook her head frantically, "I'll go to the basement"

"It's too dangerous"

"I can handle myself" Lydia promised, "and I need to do this, for Kayla… for my best friend" she said softly, "when we get her back to normal, the last thing she'll need is more blood on her hands – she has enough of that as it is"

He quickly glanced at his watch, breaking out in a nervous sweat, "Uh… dammit, okay, but call if anything happens alright?"

The redhead nodded, touching his arm in support, "I will. Don't worry about me just concentrate on finding Kayla"

And so they parted ways, Lydia hurrying down the corridor and disappearing from sight, leaving Stiles standing there in a frenzied state, a tight hand gripping at his chest as he felt that familiar panic seizing a hold of him causing his vision to blur.

No… not now, he had to focus, he _had_ to, he couldn't afford to tumble into the darkness of a panic attack, not when someone's life depended on it.

" _Dammit_ , focus Stiles" he dug the heels of his palms into his eye sockets, pressing hard enough for a strip of pain to course through his skull, _"think_ – where would Kayla go? _Where?_ C'mon, you know her… think Stilinski… _think_ …"

Then, like a sudden lightbulb going off inside his head, he just _knew_ , imagining Kayla's thinking process and putting himself in her shoes because, even now, he still knew her better than anyone – and in a way that was kind of terrifying, thoughts of the nogitsune's darkness still inside him if he could think like a cold hearted killer, but in another way it gave him hope. Maybe he could think like Kayla because there was some humanity left. He hoped it was the latter.

"The roof" he mumbled in realisation, barely even giving himself to catch his breath before dashing up the stairs two at a time, lanky limbs flying about around him as he barrelled into the rusty old door, letting it swing open and falling head first through, huffing and puffing for some much-needed air, a build-up of sweat prickling his forehead.

"Wow, look at that" an amused voice piped up, "you're eleven seconds early – now **that's** what I call good timing"

He gasped back some fresh warm air, placing his hands on his knees and blinking quickly up at her, "Kayla… don't"

"Great speech Stiles, really" she laughed, tightening her grip around the little blonde girls' arm, probably no older that fourteen, fifteen tops, "because that _totally_ makes me _not_ wanna throw her head first off this building"

"Kaylz… you don't wanna do this. Not really"

"Don't I?" she laughed, ignoring the girls' terrified squeaks as she pushed her that little bit closer to the edge so the soles of her feet started to slip, "because I actually find it kinda fun"

"We had a deal" he reminded her, "I found you before the hour so please, _please_ , let her go"

"Uh _no_ " she duh'd, "I said you had to _stop_ me and you haven't and oh, look-" she glanced down at her watch, "-your time is up – such a shame"

"Kaylz wait no _-NO,_ _ **NO"**_ he hollered loudly, panic and desperation coursing through his veins as he skidded forward, watching Kayla push the girl further off the ledge, "no, stop"

"Say pretty please" she smirked, the only thing stopping the girl from falling was Kayla's tight grip around her lanky arm, "I _love_ it when you beg"

He swiped at his forehead, trying to force himself to calm down despite the panic and urgency coursing through his veins, "Please alright? I am _pleading_ with you not to do this. Not to her and not to yourself"

She rolled her eyes in annoyance, "save me the morals speech Stiles, it's getting boring"

"She's just a girl" he said softly, "she doesn't deserve this"

" _Nor did I"_ she practically snarled, her anger making her nearly let go of the blonde girl who was sobbing and trying to grab a hold of Kayla's arm, tears streaming down her cheeks, "I didn't but guess what? Life _sucks_. Life is _brutal_. Life _isn't fair_. Why should I spare her?"

"Because I'm asking you to" he whispered, inching closer and closer to them, "for me Kayla please… please just let her go"

"For you?" she scoffed, "fuck you Stiles, I don't owe you _anything"_

"You're right, you don't" he agreed, nodding softly, "everything you've said is right. What happened _is_ my fault. Allison dying was because of me. Aiden losing his life was my fault. You… you sacrificing yourself was _all_ down to me. But if _anything_ we ever shared meant anything to you then you'll let her go…"

Her eyes narrowed in anger, her bottom lip curling, "or what?" she shrugged, her grip not letting up on the girl, smirking as her feet kept slipping off the ledge, "what if I don't listen and watch as this pretty little thing's brain ends up splashed across the tarmac? What are you going to do?"

He tried to keep cool despite the fact his heart was racing in his chest, knowing there was only one thing that could be done. It was drastic and extreme but he had to do something… he had to save this girl's life, make up a little for all the bad that he had done.

"Or I'll jump off the building myself" he vowed, desperately trying not to look down as he shakily stepped up onto the ledge next to them, holding Kayla's surprised gaze, "you kill her, I'll jump"

"No you won't" she scoffed, sending him a disbelieving look, "you're bluffing"

"I'm not" he shook his head, "I've thought about killing myself before, almost did it a few times… especially in the last couple of months" he said quietly, "if you let go of that girl, I will throw myself off straight after her and it'll be _my_ brain you see splattered all over the sidewalk, is that what you really want?"

He was sure he saw some degree of panic and worry flare up in her gaze, peering across at him like she was finally seeing him - _all_ of him - but as soon as it had come, it was gone again, replaced by indifference.

"Nah" she shook her head, "you're trying to trick me, get me to feel some imaginary sappy feelings for you but guess what? Not gonna happen" she shook her head, "so go ahead-" she extended her arm, pointing down to the ground many hundreds of feet below, "-be my guest"

He gulped, his throat closing, "I promise you… I'm not lying"

"Your promises mean jack shit to me" she stated in a stone cold voice, "you promised me a lot of things Stiles and they never happened… I'm not falling for it, not again" she shook her head, "I'm better than that now, _stronger_ … and I don't need you and your pathetic validation" she snorted and he watched in horror as her fingers started to uncurl from the girls' arm, starting to nudge her forward with her arm, "so say bye-bye now"

And maybe doing what he did was a stupid thing to do but Kayla had faith in him once, enough faith to stick by his side when he was being controlled, when he was putting her in mortal _danger_ , enough faith to see him through to the end and he had faith in her now. He knew she wasn't all gone, she _couldn't_ be. He sensed that she did care – maybe not a lot but she did, he _knew_ she did.

So he just stepped sideways, his foot disappearing into thin air before she even had time to let the girl go, closing his eyes and praying that he wouldn't end up splat on the sidewalk, that Kayla would let go of her icy cold exterior for a brief second and save his life – not because he forced her hand but because she _loved_ him.

Because, _surely_ , after all this time, after _everything_ they had been through, love prevailed through it all, right?

He was sure he heard a desperate shout but didn't open his eyes, he _couldn't_ because if he was, in fact, facing imminent death, he _really_ didn't want to see it happening. He was a coward that way.

And for the strangest of reasons, as soon as Kayla saw him step sideways all she felt was this sickening urgency well up inside her.

She wanted to see him hurt, broken, punished and beaten down, she got a thrill out of seeing him in agony because it gave her something to focus on other than each terrifying and painstaking memory threating to claw into her mind and root there but she didn't want to see him _dead_.

She didn't know _why_ because she should, she should laugh as he falls, be happy that she did to him _exactly_ what he did to her but something inside her snapped and she shouted out desperately, shoving the blonde girl to the side so she fell painfully to the cement roof and grabbed a hold of his shirt, yanking him back as hard as she could and spinning him through the air so they both got knocked off their feet, tumbling awkwardly to the roof below.

But still he didn't open his eyes, blood rushing to his ears as he shakily reached out to touch his legs, then his torso and finally his face, not feeling broken bones or blood, in fact he pretty much felt alive which was a massive relief.

" _Asshole_ – what the hell did you do that for?" a voice exclaimed and he carefully peeled his eyes open, seeing a half frenzied and wild Kayla splayed out across his chest, "you dying is _not_ a part of the plan"

A blossom of love erupted in his chest, spilling into his veins and causing his heart to miss several beats.

"You… you saved me" he whispered in wonder, not even caring his head was thumping, probably a massive bruise already forming, "Kaylz you… you didn't let me jump"

"Well done genius" she snapped, "no flies on you huh?"

He ignored her snarky comments, slowly raising his shaky hands to swipe some of her wild loose hair back from her flushed face, fleshy pads of his thumbs settling on her cheekbones, "admit it" he whispered, "admit you still care for me"

Her keen gaze zig zagged across his expression, her stare softening – something he had never seen since she had come back – before finally settling on his lips, watching the way his mouth framed around the small puffs of air escaping and how something so simple rendered her totally helpless.

"I… I…" she stopped, gulping past the lump in her throat, "don't flatter yourself Stilinski"

"It's okay" he murmured, moving his hands down to cup her cheeks, "it's okay to feel, it's not a bad thing" he reassured gently, her body atop his stilling as he spoke those calming words, "you didn't let me jump because somewhere… somewhere inside you still recognised me as your Stiles…" his voice trailed off until all that was left was barely a whisper, his eyes clogging up with tears, "you promised me in your letter you would never stop loving me and unlike me you don't break your promises…"

She faltered, ever so slightly leaning into his touch as she watched his expression, saw how calm he was, how much love was in his eyes.

"I… you should give up Stiles" she murmured, secretly loving how his chest rose and fell underneath her, his heart thundering against her own chest, "sometimes people can't be saved"

"I don't believe that" he shook his head, gently pulling her closer so their foreheads touched, "people thought that about me, when the nogitsune possessed me, many thought I was a lost cause… you never. You _saved_ me"

"… And look what it cost me"

He flinched a little, a single hand drifting through her long hair, "you _can_ be saved"

"At what cost?" she whispered, "all the bad I've done… I've been to hell Stiles, I know what awaits me. My soul is too damaged to be fixed, least of all by you"

"I… Kaylz c'mon" he urged gently, enjoying just these simple moments of holding her close, "I love you"

She frowned but he was sure a small smile tugged at her lips, "I know you do… but I'm telling you not to. For your sake, I'm giving you a chance" she said honestly, "if you don't fall out of love with me then you'll become just as twisted, just as toxic… because you'll keep on forgiving me no matter what I do and then your soul will be just as damaged as mine"

"Kayla-"

"I'm bad Stiles" she insisted, "and I _like_ it… I like killing, I like causing pain… I enjoy fucking my way through all these people because for the first time in a long time I _finally_ feel like I'm in control… you shouldn't have to forgive me for those things"

"I'll forgive you for anything"

"Well you shouldn't. You should hate me" she reached down, tracing the outline of his prominent features, "Stiles, please… please just hate me. It'll make everything so much easier"

"For who?" he asked, tilting his head to stare at her curiously, "you or me?"

"… Both"

"Sweet. I almost started welling up" and Stiles jumped at the strange voice, too absorbed in her eyes to take notice of anything else, tilting his head back on the concrete to see three strangers standing at the entrance, holding the sobbing blonde girl who had tried to sneak away, "for someone with no emotions, that speech sure packed a lot of heart sweetheart"

Kayla snapped right back to defensive, letting out a low snarl and jumping off him, standing in front of him as he scrambled and flailed to pick himself to his feet, "and who in the hell are you?"

"Now now, that's no way to speak to family" A young man stepped forward, his smouldering dark eyes piercing directly through Stiles and making him feel suddenly very small and weak, "we have yet to be properly introduced – I'm Juan"

"I would say it's a pleasure but then I'd be lying" Kayla deadpanned, still adapting a defensive stance in front of him.

"Spunky, I like it" he praised, "these two are Andrès and Natália, my cousins… _your_ cousins"

Kayla scoffed, crossing her arms stubbornly, "that's cute. Now tell me the truth"

Juan gasped overdramatically, "mi señora… I would never lie. Not to family" and with that he let his eyes glow that dark yet sizzling bright green, the two strangers behind him doing the same so three pairs of glowing green eyes peered over at them, the girl in their grip letting out a loud wail.

"Hmmm… encantados" Kayla whispered appreciatively, "the word I got was most, if not all, were extinct"

"Many were" Juan agreed, "we survived. And now? Now we're looking for power. For revenge. To take over this pathetic little human race" he leaned down to the girls' eye level, "maybe we'll start with this one" and with that he quickly reached out, snapping the girls' neck on the spot.

" _Oh my god_ … what the hell?!" Stiles exclaimed, "Kaylz we gotta go"

"Ah, not so fast" Juan chuckled as Kayla just tugged Stiles to a stop, "don't we deserve a thank you?"

"A thank you?" Kayla scoffed, "for what? Killing my human? Dude, she was mine" she exclaimed, "dick move"

He smirked, "no… a thank you for giving you another chance. We _are_ the reason you're back after all. If it wasn't for us your corpse would still be laying there rotting with the maggots"

"You brought me back?" Kayla questioned, "why? A little family reunion?"

"Something like that" Juan nodded with a smirk, "or maybe because you're powerful and we need that"

"Well I don't need you" Kayla shrugged, "I'm not a team player – slows me down"

"Oh trust me, little cousin" Juan grinned widely, "you're going to want to be when you find out what we have planned" he tried to entice her, "you're thirsty for some bloodlust? Desire?" he questioned, "with us, you can have _all_ that"

"Kaylz, no-"

"Don't let your pathetic human hold you back" Juan interrupted, "he got you killed, we brought you back. Family is important, after all. Come with us. Let our bloodline be whole once more"

"Kayla…" Stiles was panicked, grabbing a hold of her arm and not wanting to let go, knowing back there he saw a sliver of the old Kayla, the one he tried so desperately to get back, he just needed a little longer to get through to her, a little longer and he could sort everything, "stay with me, stay with me _please_ , I know you want to"

She peered across at him, her stare indifferent, "I'm done playing nice baby" she whispered, tilting her head forward to capture his lips in a searing kiss, her long nails scratching through his mop of hair as she kissed him fiercely, her lips gliding over his with passion and zest that sent his heart racing, losing himself to her taste, how she felt against him, the way her heart beat in tune with his before pulling back, gently nipping at his bottom lip.

"Sometimes Stiles…" and when he peeled his eyes open all he saw was bright glowing green, "sometimes it's fun to be _bad"_

 **A/N) AHAHAHA cackles madly, im trying to make you guys feel so many things ha, like is kayla feeling, isn't she, who knows lol but her and malia do not get on and omg STAYLA yay haha so hope you all liked and please please please review and I shall see you all super super soon ha ha xxx**


	9. Chapter 9 - Compulsion

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any shape or form (cries) wow I love you guys and the wee debates you have ha, though I do promise the more chapters we delve into, the clearer it'll be about Kayla's situation and flashbacks to what happened in those two months – so a massive and thankful shout out to Amandalucia, M (there is a purpose/reason but things will start to look up), Jaysweet112197, Linda96, Coco, (no/very limited stalia, promise :) guest, guest, Chloe, zvc56, To chloe (guest), EllieDragon (my apologies for the feels ha), XxxXCherriesXxxX, Jocie413 (gonna take that as a compliment ha), JessicaMessica (aw thank u ur so sweet) and TW-adict-adict (ur amazing thank you, and ur secret is safe with me ha), for reviewing, you're all amazing and I love that you're passionate enough to debate and throw around ideas about Kayla and the non-emotions part of this story, things will get much more clearer as the story progresses about what exactly happened to cause it, hope that helps and hope you enjoy this next chapter** **xxx**

 _'Cause' darling I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream'_

She was intrigued, that was all. She knew that if she joined them like they wanted she wouldn't be free – not really. They had promised her fun and adventure, a free pass for revenge and retribution but she may have been dead for months but she wasn't stupid. Far from it actually. They brought her back because they needed her, for some crazy uniting of power.

Except she really wasn't a team player, especially not now and she didn't like to be used as a pawn. She had enough of that already in her old pack, back when the nogitsune was running wild and she had promised herself that would never happen again.

She quirked an eyebrow, closing the door to the roof and managed time to spare Stiles a single glance – he looked completely devastated (which was a given), like he was desperately trying to cling onto whatever hope he had left and for some reason that made something stir inside her – but no, it couldn't be, _dammit_ , she should've just let him jump. This is why she hated 'emotions', they just confused her. But whatever it was she smothered it down again, burying it in the depths of her cold dead heart and pushed it from her mind – she wasn't that person, not anymore, not the one that cared, caring got her dead and she _always_ learnt from her mistakes. So just as the door was shutting she blew him a kiss, leaving him cold and alone with the body of the dead fourteen-year-old girl.

Harsh? Maybe, but she was a bit preoccupied now.

"So…" she folded her arms, not attempting to make her way down the stairs until she got some proper answers, "how did you do it? The resurrection thing" she clarified, "please do tell, I'm intrigued"

"It wasn't easy" Juan smirked, "so many rare ingredients – take the heart of the grim reaper for example"

She scoffed, a smirk of amusement tugging at her lips, "A grim reaper? Funny"

"Creatures like that do exist" he continued, deep brown gaze holding her stare, dark hair slightly gelled as he folded his arms in front of him, being dominant, showing off his broad arms and chest, "and can take the shape of a human to blend in – that's when they're most vulnerable. So we tracked one down, lured her with some charm and then I ripped her heart from her chest"

"Straight to the point huh?"

"There was no time to waste" Juan smirked, "A grim reaper deals with death, her heart had the power to fuel the ritual, without it you would not be here"

Her eyes slid to the two people behind him, gaze trailing over them and wondering why an earth they just let Juan lead them – because it was obvious that he was the leader of this little group, it didn't take a genius to figure that out. The young man, Andrès if she remembered correctly, had a very similar look to Juan – strong, dark and handsome, his dark eyes a near match with his cousins', his bronzed skin catching her eyes. But then there was the girl, Natália – beautiful without a doubt, heavy but perfect makeup, long dark wavy hair and those same piercing dark eyes, the leather cat-suit she wore emphasising each one of her curves.

"I thought all encantados were male" she wondered, "except my bloodline that can have female encantados"

"You're right" Juan grinned, "I'm glad you know your history. But Natália is special… she stole the power from her brother then killed him, thus the power couldn't return to him so settled in her"

She snorted, "I guess someone was bitter"

Natália just narrowed her eyes, "careful little girl, we brought you back, we can just as easily put you back in the ground"

"No you can't… not yet at least because you need something from me and I don't think it's a good restaurant recommendation"

Juan laughed and Natália just shot him a filthy look, like he had betrayed her by letting Kayla get away with her snark, "meet us at the nemeton tonight, just as the sun is going down"

"And why should I do that?"

"Like my dear cousin here said-" Andrès smirked, throwing an arm over Natália's shoulders, "-we're the reason you're here, it's the least you can do to thank us"

"Because if you don't, well…" Juan faked a sad look, "… all our effort will be for nothing" he stepped forward, tilting her chin up, "and you have some great potential. Tonight. The nemeton. Otherwise Natália is right, we will happily reverse what we did and something tells me you don't want to be maggot meat again" and with that he stepped back, giving her a single nod and a smirk before calmly retreating down the stairs, his cousins following him loyally – like a pack of dogs, how pathetic.

But now she was just more confused than ever, totally displeased at their tone of voices, like she owed them something because they brought her back. Well she never asked them too and she hated having to repay favours, her bottom lip curling in disgust as she heard them leave.

What assholes.

She scoffed under her breath, spinning around on her heel and storming back onto the roof, ignoring Stiles' shocked look at her return and started pacing, feet eating up the cement below.

"Uh… Kaylz?"

"I owe them _nothing"_ she raged, "they brought me back for their own selfish wants, like I'm a pawn in their game and I'm done playing"

"What-what happened?" he murmured, giving the dead girl one last sad look before facing her as she paced, "what did they say?"

She ignored his question, her skin itching with annoyance and hatred, hating how she was stuck between a rock and a hard place – she just wanted to be free, to do what she wanted and not be tied down, not again, she had had enough of that.

"... Kayla?"

"Shut up for a minute Stiles, I need to think" she snapped, striding over to the roof edge and placing her palms on the stone barrier, gazing down at the empty school grounds, nothing more than a few students mulling about trying to dodge class and coach hollering at his gym class about how useless and worthless they were.

"Was it really them that brought you back?" He continued, ignoring her anger and slowly sliding up next to her, keeping his gaze, too, trained on the ground below, eyes sweeping over the vast expanse.

"Yeah" she nodded, "and not out of the kindness of their heart. God, I am so sick of being used - Aiden, Peter, Brian, the nogitusne and now them" she scoffed under her breath, blowing out a long calming breath, "maybe I should just rip their hearts out"

"Uh...probably not the best idea, I mean it would be three against one" he tried to reason with her as she cocked a brow at him, "and they seem very powerful"

"I'm very powerful too"

"Kaylz just no" he shook his head, "I just got you back, don't make me lose you again"

"You have such faith in me Stiles" she smirked, twisting around to face him and place a single hand on her hip, "you don't think I can bring them to their knees?"

He frowned, giving her a cautious once over, "I know you wouldn't hesitate to try"

Her smirk widened into a pleased smile, "good, you're learning"

"Hey, wait-" he grabbed a hold of her arm, stopping her before she could disappear again, "-whatever they want, do it. Buy yourself some time to, I dunno, figure stuff out, learn their weak spots"

"Is Stiles Stilinski giving me survival tips?" she grinned, "wow, the tables sure have turned around"

"I just… I don't want to lose you, not again"

"Stiles…" she whispered, cocking her head to the side, slowly lifting her warm palm and splaying it across his cheek, "you already have"

"No" he claimed stubbornly, shaking his head and intertwining their fingers, pulling her hand away from his face, "I haven't. I see the old you in there and I'm going to get her back, I promise"

"Yeah, well, good luck with that"

But just as he opened his mouth to reply, to just keep on trying to get through to her the roof door got slammed open and Scott appeared through, his wide serious eyes immediately landing on the slight figure of the young girl and his stare immediately hardened, sending a glare in Kayla's direction.

But he never did anything, it was Malia that skidded in behind him that growled in annoyance and let her eyes flash, her reckless and uncontainable anger surging to the surface once again.

"You killed her!" she accused and Scott had to grab her arm to hold her in place, softly shaking his head.

"Uh fact check, I actually _didn't"_ Kayla smugly replied, "miss know-it-all"

"Don't lie" Malia raged, jerking herself from Scott's grip but before she could move forward Stiles stepped in front of her, holding up his hands.

"Malia she's telling the truth, it wasn't her"

"And you expect me to believe that?" she rolled her eyes, "you'd do anything to protect her, including lying"

"I'm not lying" he shook his head, "come on, look at me" he urged gently, trying to catch her furious gaze, "I'm not lying. She didn't kill her… I _promise_ you"

Malia held his stare for a few seconds, very slowly diffusing but still keeping her anger as she huffed out a displeased breath, taking a step back but letting her gaze travel to Kayla, narrowing her eyes.

"Then who did?"

"It's uh… it's complicated"

"Complicated my ass" Kayla laughed, stepping up next to him, "go on Stiles, tell the story, I'm sure they're all _very_ intrigued"

He sighed, shooting her a glance before sighing loudly, wringing his hands together nervously, "it was um… they're… there's three of them…"

Scott frowned in worry, tensing a little, "three of who?"

Stiles just gulped, mouth going dry, unable to say a word so Kayla just chuckled, slipping her hand to curl around his shoulder in faux support and lean toward the two hanging onto their every word.

"My family"

"There's more Hales?"

"No dumbass" she scoffed at Scott's stupidity, "try the _other_ family tree"

Realisation dawned in his eyes, "encantados…"

"And the penny finally drops, well done" she clapped sarcastically, eyes gleaming with amusement, "but you know Stiles, I might just take your advice" she met his surprised stare, "dying again is really not a part of the plan-"

"It is on mine"

She ignored Malia's comment, "-so I'll play ball, do what they want, and just when they trust me I'll pull the rug right out from under them" her voice was low, unwavering and determined, enough to send shivers down everyone's spines, "thanks for the tips loverboy" she sent Stiles a playful wink, "guess the nogitsune left a bigger impression on you than you're letting on"

He flinched like he had been burned, seizing up.

"That wasn't an insult btw" she flashed him a grin, "I do like a badboy"

"And this is someone you can love?" Malia asked Stiles, shaking her head, "Stiles-"

"No" he cut her off angrily, "not a word. Kayla-" he turned to her, keeping his stare soft, "-we can help you, keep you safe-"

"Sweet" she deadpanned, "but I can look after myself and for the last time - I don't need you. Want? Sure" she smirked, shamelessly letting her gaze trail hungrily down his lean figure, "just let me worry about me and you do whatever boring stuff you and your Scooby gang decide to get up to"

She brushed past him, ignoring his pained and defeated sigh and threw Malia a small smirk, just doing it to wind her up because let's face it, it _was_ pretty fun pushing her buttons, (and _okay_ maybe she wanted an excuse to put her head through another window) but the coyote had more self-control than Kayla gave her credit for because she didn't react except letting out a low snarl as she approached.

"Oh, and FYI sweetheart-" she grinned, leaning forward so her lips grazed her ear, "-I know you want to get into pants. Go ahead, see if I care" she lied, shrugging off the uncomfortable feeling in her gut as she said that because she didn't care, she _didn't_ , she couldn't afford to.

Malia clenched her jaw, not saying a word but her glare said everything her mouth never.

"So, I trust I can leave you with the clean up?" she directed her question to Scott, eyes flickering down to the girl's dead body, "burn her corpse, throw her off the building, whatever floats your boat"

"We'll uh… we'll report it" Scott murmured, looking saddened as he gazed at the blonde girl.

"On the bright side, they probably killed her much less painfully than I would've" she shrugged, "it would take, what? 3.6 seconds to fall, not to mention how many seconds or minutes after that if she survived with blood loss and shattered bones, they just might've done her a favour"

She just got three unamused looks back, "looking on the bright side guys, I thought y'all were all for that crap"

"Urgh, just go" Malia groaned, "before I throw you off here myself"

"Oh please, do try" she grinned, "it's not like I haven't kicked your ass the last three times or anything"

But she never took the bait, somehow keeping herself calm as Kayla just chuckled to herself, sending Stiles a seductive sly look but she never made it off the roof as Scott stepped in front of her, letting his eyes flash red in warning – yeah, like _that_ was supposed to scare her.

"What Scottie?" she ground out, quirking a brow, "what are you wanting now?"

"It was something Stiles said to me earlier, about how when he brought up the letter some sort of recognition was there-" she held back her flinch, pushing down whatever that was bubbling in her chest, hating how she remembered so vividly the loving and caring words she wrote, "-it just made me think that maybe… maybe you feel something when there's familiarity"

"Doubt it – I'm a stone cold bitch"

"I'm sorry Kayla" he apologised, stepping forward and she narrowed her eyes in warning, well aware Stiles too had moved forward in worry, shaking his head at his best friend, "forgive me, but I have to try and make you remember…"

She snarled lowly, ready to reach out and choke him within an inch of his life but before she could she felt that familiar sharp intense prickling in the back of her neck, her body locking in position as she saw those dangerous red eyes obscure her vision before she got thrown headfirst into chaos.

And Scott didn't want to do it, he didn't like betraying his friend's trust (even if said friend was acting evil and totally irritational right now) but the idea came to him as he remembered Stiles' words, about how he knew Kayla was in there and they just had to remind her of who she was. So maybe, just maybe, if he guided her through a memory – a good one, a happy one, something with her family, her friends, a tender moment with Stiles, it may just help that humanity come back.

But normally he thought things though, planned them, rationalised them even but he didn't have time with this, disappearing into a pool of blackness which was her mind.

All he knew was they all needed their friend back and he had to blur the lines a little.

But he felt his skin crawl, a horrible dull ache settling in his gut as he lost control, unable to pinpoint a single happy memory because all he felt was dread, the stench of fear so strong he felt himself get chilled to the bone.

He couldn't make her remember the good times, because the bad far out weighted them.

" _Ah, your screams are like music to my ears little Hale, they really are" he heard, his heart palpitating wildly in his chest, "I would happily hear them for many, many more years to come"_

 _Scott had heard that voice before – he had heard it his entire life only now it was tinged with much more malice and callousness, squinting his eyes through the overwhelming darkness to see Stiles – no, the nogitsune – pacing back and forth, a smirk lighting up his features, "never have I been so glad to have some company"_

" _Go to hell" a voice spat and Scott shakily stepped forward, frowning through the darkness to see Kayla standing awkwardly, hands tied behind her back with some frayed rope that was attached through a hook on the stone wall above – the perfect little torture chamber - one side of her all bloody and bruised hence the awkward one sided position she was forced to stand in._

" _Already there princess" the nogitsune grinned, "and so are you, all because your pathetic little friends won't save you"_

 _Scott's hand flew to his mouth as Kayla just glanced up, anger surging through her heated gaze but also great sadness, total defeat shining in her green gaze as she spat out a mouthful of blood._

" _They would if they knew" she claimed, bottom lip split and bloodied as it wobbled._

" _Wrong" the nogitsune smirked, "they don't care, never did. Such a shame too" he whispered, stepping forward to cup her cheek, "after everything you did for them"_

 _She jerked away from his touch, eyes narrowing, "we still beat you" she murmured, fury in her voice, "and if being here with you, feeling this…" she sighed, taking a quick glance around the dark stone chamber, "then so be it"_

" _One day soon, little Hale-" his anger was prominent, jerking back to grab the rope, "-you'll hate them because, after all, there's only so much a person can take before they break" and with that he yanked so hard on the rope it jerked her arms back just enough to make her yelp in pain, the frayed rope sliding loudly through the hook on the ceiling._

" _Never" she vowed breathlessly, "so go on" she spat, "do your worst, I can handle it"_

" _No you can't" the nogitsune grinned, tugging at the rope again so Scott heard a sickening crunch of bones as her arms were forcefully pulled from their shoulder sockets but she just bit her lip and screamed silently, muffled exclamations of pain and fear echoing from her throat._

" _Hmmm…" the nogitsune admired his handiwork, smirking as he toyed with the rope in his hands, "both your shoulders just dislocated… maybe we should keep going, see how flexible you are" but she still never screamed, silent tears streaming down her cheeks, "poor little Hale, all on her lonesome… and all_ _ **mine"**_ _and with that he yanked at the rope again so her body was jolted upwards, the gut churning sounds of ripping and tearing burning Scott's ear as he watched her shoulders disfigure but it all got too much as she finally had to scream in complete stomach curling agony, breaking out into fresh sobs._

" _I know it hurts" The nogitsune soothed, "but I'm having fun, and god knows I need some entertainment down here"_

 _She was breathing heavily, gulping back her pained gasps as he forced her to watch him, tugging roughly at her hair and twisting her head around to meet his stare._

" _Look at where you are… who you're with... no friends in sight. I'm trying to teach you that loving is a weakness, relying on others is a fault and it was also your downfall. Allison died to save Lydia, pathetic waste if you ask me. Aiden for his dearest brother and you for your love… where was your family then? Your friends? Why wasn't your precious leader Scott McCall being the one who laid down his life? I'll tell you why, and listen closely Hale-" he growled, grabbing her chin and making her look him dead in the eyes, "-because when it came down to it, they didn't have the guts to save the ones that mattered to them. But I'm not complaining-" he smirked, letting his fingers drift over her disfigured and bruised joints, "-because I still got my favourite"_

 _Scott's gut churned at his sinister words, the sense of failure spreading through his veins as she tried to pull away from him and the nogitsune just smirked, taking a step back and picking up an old stick, scraping it across the stone wall until it lit up with flames._

" _Let's see if you feel any differently as you burn" he chuckled and Kayla's fear broke through, gulping loudly as she tried to jerk away from the flames, a yelp of pain escaping her bloodied lips as her shoulders twisted again but it was no use, there was no escape, and Scott was forced to watch as the bright orange flames engulfed her body, burning her away until there was nothing left except her screams echoing inside his head._

He jerked back quickly, claws retracting from the back of her sweaty neck as he gasped back some much needed air, his vision tunnelling until Stiles caught him around the torso, keeping him on his feet.

"Scott? Hey Scott, you okay?" Stiles asked desperately, " _Scott?!"_

He shook his head to clear his vision, still overwhelmed but managing to finally stand on his own two feet again as he glanced up, rooted to the spot with wide eyes as Kayla glanced up in shock, pulling her hand away from the back of her neck that was spotted with blood.

"K-Kayla I… I'm so sorry"

Her bottom lip curled, fury returning to her gaze, "don't you _ever_ do that again, are we clear?"

His heartbeat picked up, holding her furious gaze, "if we knew… if _I_ knew where you-" he cut himself off, his voice breaking, "-I would've helped you. I promise"

She scoffed but Scott noticed how on edge she was, having to grab a hold of her hand that had a slight shake to it, "little too late, don't you think?" she snapped, "I don't need your promises and I don't want them so listen up and listen closely" she wouldn't let her gaze leave his, stepping up in front of him, "try that move again and I'll do what he did to me on you, your friends, and anyone you've ever loved" she warned, "except they won't have the pleasure of becoming whole again and having it happen on repeat, they'll just die" she added flatly, "do you understand me Scott?"

He froze, staring into her hate filled eyes, "yeah… yeah I got it"

"Good" but he heard the waver in her voice, how on edge she was and he hadn't seen her this rattled since her surprise return, at least until she straightened her back, threw them all a filthy glare before storming from the roof.

"Wait, Kaylz _wait_ … or don't" Stiles sighed heavily as the roof door slammed shut in his face, "Scott what the hell was that?"

"Don't blame Scott" Malia shot to his defence, "he was trying to help"

"Malia, it's okay" the alpha smiled, "Stiles is right, I never thought it through. I just hoped that if I could make her remember something good she might have some sort of realisation or something"

Stiles frowned, crossing his arms as that same worry flared up in his stare again, "what did you see? Was it… was it bad?"

Scott felt sick just thinking about it, "trust me Stiles, you don't want to know"

His best friend's gaze dropped to the ground, chewing harshly on his bottom lip, "it was him, wasn't it? The nogitsune? Looking like me?"

A surge of pity welled inside his chest, "Stiles, as your best friend, trust me on this… you _really_ don't want to know" because he knew Stiles' guilt was bad enough as it was, there was no need to add fuel to the fire, "let's just call your dad, see if we can explain this" he glanced downward to the dead girl, the one whose name he didn't even know, "because something tells me this is far from over"

* * *

"Scottie really did a number on that kid huh?"

"Argh- _jesus"_ Stiles exclaimed, near enough jumping out his skin as he quickly spun around to see Kayla smirking at him, "where did you come from?"

"Aw, not pleased to see me?" she teased, lightly pushing at his arm, "and originally from my mothers' womb, don't you know about the birds and the bees Stiles? Because we got _plenty_ of practice"

He flushed a little, casting a nervous glance around the busy hospital, making sure Scott was still out of earshot with Liam, "you um… you never came back to school, after what happened on the roof" and the teasing look fell from her face and that was when he knew, for sure, how bad it must've been, "is everything okay?"

"Dandy" she stated, crossing her ankles and leaning on the wall for support.

"Do you-do you want to talk about it?"

"Not exactly in the mood for a little heart to heart" she shrugged off his concerns, that playful glint returning to her eyes.

"Are you uh, are you following me?" he questioned, leaning on the wall next to her.

"Keeping tabs" she corrected.

"Why?"

She faltered a little, letting out a short exhale, "I'm bored" and he just knew she was lying, "and you are a great sense of entertainment – nice take down of Johnstone by the way"

"Idiot had it coming" he murmured and she was, of course, referring to try-outs where he may have ploughed straight into that asshat and gave him a concussion, it was the least he deserved.

"It's cute when you get jealous" she smirked, "and all because I slept with him, you always did tend to overreact"

"O-Overreact?" he spluttered, cocking his head to the side in disbelief, "I definitely wasn't overreacting, if anything he got off easy. The stuff he said, how he just wanted sex and nothing else, it was a dick move"

"See? Overreacting" she chuckled and he just sighed in defeat, leaning back against the wall, "and if it's any consolation he wasn't that great, didn't have much stamina either"

He winced, "yeah, really not helping"

"Just being honest" she shrugged.

He chuckled without humour, scrubbing his face with his open palms, "honest? If you were being honest you would tell me why you're really here and no stupid excuses - I know your tells, remember?"

"Right" she snorted, "because you pay _attention"_

"You're right, I do pay attention" he nodded, "and I know you, better than _anyone_ , whether you like it or not" and she met his gaze, frowning thoughtfully, "so why are you following me _really?"_

She sighed heavily, breaking their stare to watch the nurses and patients pass them without even a glance, shaking her head in annoyance, "Because I… I'm trying to figure something out"

"Figure what out?"

She twisted her head to watch him, cocking a brow, "figure out how to break you" she answered honestly and he deflated, that saddened glint returning to his eyes, hating how he got his hopes up for those few seconds, "everything I've done you've just shrugged it off like it's nothing. I'm trying to break you because… because when you look at me like that, with so much love in your eyes… it makes me feel something I don't want to feel and it's confusing. And I don't _like_ it"

"So I was right" he whispered in wonder, "back on the roof, you saved me because you did care"

"Yeah, well, let's not make a big deal out of it" she snapped, "I would still happily slaughter this entire hospital if you pissed me off"

He pushed himself off the wall, hovering closely in front of her, "will you let me help you?" he asked quietly, "and please... please just say yes"

"No" she shook her head bluntly, "no because what you want… it's impossible. You're delusional if you ever think the Kayla you knew could come back – hear me out" she placed a gentle finger against his lips as he went to open his eyes, stare unwavering from his, "if I let those emotions in they will ruin me. What happened when I was dead… it cost me my sanity" she admitted and he felt tears blur his vision, "it wasn't as simple as a switch Stiles… it took years of pain, confusion, terror… he drove me out of my mind until the only option left was to turn. I didn't want it, not then, but it happened. So if you try and fix me back to the way _you_ want me, to feel again… how do you think caring and sappy Kayla would deal with that huh? All those memories… think about that Stiles" she dropped her finger, adjusting his collar and just that one simple movement made his bottom lip tremble, remembering how she always used to do that before, "you would be destroying me all over again"

He sagged in defeat, her words hitting home with him as he dropped his head to roll against hers, skin erupting in goosebumps at the feel of her warm breath caressing his lips. He constantly felt like he was losing her, just like he did that night in the school, and he honest to god didn't know how much longer he could cope with the agony of it all.

"I am so sorry Kayla…" he whispered, their noses nuzzling affectionately, "I really am"

"Don't be sorry, just let me be" she answered honestly, "your apologies aren't needed. I doomed myself because I let my heart rule my head. I acted irrationally because I was in love. So maybe my hate for you is ill-placed but it exists inside of me because-" she broke off and for the first time since he got her back, he was sure he saw tears well in his eyes, "-because I had faith in you" and he screwed his eyes shut, flashing back to all the times she whispered those words when he was struggling with the nogitsune, knowing now she had lost it, "I hoped wrongfully that you would save me… but you never. My robin never came back for me. So that hate grew and grew and manifested. I may have felt for a single _moment_ Stiles but that doesn't erase years of agony and disappointment. I can't love you because the devil in me resents you…"

He sniffed loudly, pulling back to scrub his face as he met her neutral stare. He may have not killed her with his own two hands but he's be stupid not to admit he played a part. She was right - her Robin never helped her when she needed him the most.

"I get it" he whispered, accepting her anger, "I hate me too. Ever since it happened"

 _Dammit_ Kayla she thought to herself, don't let him do this, don't let him unearth what had long since been buried deep, don't let yourself slip, you can't afford to.

"Still so understanding" she murmured, shaking her head, "Stiles I'm going to give you some free advice and you better listen. You have too much heart. I used to love that y'know? But now it's becoming a nuisance so…" she trailed off, cupping his cheeks and tugging him closer, meeting his broken stare, "… I guess we're going to have to fix that"

"Kayla-"

"Shhhh" she hushed him gently, letting her eyes glow that luminous bright green, holding his gaze and not letting it drop, compelling him to her mercy, "you don't love me, not really. You hate me for everything I've done – who I've killed, the people I slept with, you see me as a monster. You feel no love for me because the nogitsune was right… I'm unlovable"

Her voice broke at that, watching as he hung onto her every word, her voice as smooth as velvet as she got inside his head, oppressing those feelings and forcing him to believe her words.

"From now on you don't want to save me, you don't want to protect me… you just want to forget that you ever fell for me, a heartless, selfish disease. I was the worst mistake of your life… is that clear?"

He just nodded numbly and she hated, absolutely _loathed_ the dull ache in her chest – what was that? She couldn't pin point it, having not felt in so long – was it regret? Sadness? She didn't know but she didn't want to find out. She couldn't afford for Stiles to be her weak spot. For her own survival, she didn't need those influences. She remembered being weak down there, with the nogitsune, the feeling of slowly losing her mind, desperately clinging onto her sanity and she wasn't going to go through that again because she knew, she _knew_ , he wouldn't give up until she loved him and their friends back. He was stubborn that way.

"Good" she stroked his cheek one last time as he tried to get his bearings, forcing herself to feel some sort of pleasure that she got one up on him, that she had destroyed their hope for getting the old Kayla back but truthfully she didn't know how she felt – usually nothing, that was how it was supposed to be, but it was entirely possible the ache in her gut was so much more than that but she never acknowledged it, pushing it down and locking it away, "goodbye Stilinski"

 **A/N) IM SORRY that ending just came to me and because I'm a horrible person I rolled with it whoops (legit don't kill me stayla is total endgame ha) and awwwwww scott saw her memories and now she compelled Stiles to stop loving her, can things get much worse? Ha don't answer that but have faith in stayla, I promise, cant wait to hear what you think and I shall update super soon, love y'all xxx also HER ROBIN EXCUSE ME WHILE I SOB thanks ja**


	10. Chapter 10 - Hello mother

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any shape or form (cries) anyway you guys are the absolute best for all your support and favs and follows and review including Guest, Stiles listen (I love your ideas and passion, it's amazing), Jocie413, Amandalucia, Guest, XxxXCherriesXxxX, linda96, Tazytara, EllieDragon - (I answered your question in a PM but just in case you don't get it - partly, yes, both spn and buffy but also because hell is the only thing that would really break kayla down because she is so stubborn and wilful :) ) and guest for the awesome reviews, love you all, hope you like this next chapter x**

She was running late – no surprise there – but she doubted there would be any repercussions for her bad time management skills except maybe a slap on the wrist, it wasn't like they would send her back to the depths of hell over something so small, especially when they needed her oh so much otherwise why go through all the effort of bringing her back?

Huh… if they weren't such dicks Kayla _may_ have even thought about getting them a thank you card.

She stepped into the small clearing, shoes crunching over leaves and twigs and spied them crowded around the dead stump of the Nemeton.

"You're late" Natália was the first to notice her presence, barely even glancing up from admiring her nails.

"I had some business to take care of" she dismissed, stepping closer as the silvery light from the moon blared down on them.

"You mean that human of yours?" and she narrowed her eyes at Andrès, "I can smell him all over you. _Clearly_ we need to teach you that ordinary humans are so below our kind"

"I was getting him to drop the puppy dog eyes and leave me the hell alone actually" she fact-checked them with a stern voice and Juan, who was sitting perched on the trunk, smirked to himself at her attitude, "and he's not my human. I don't want him"

"We are glad to hear that" Juan grinned, stepping up off the Nemeton and tilting his head at her curiously, "come cousin, step forward" he extended an arm to her, graciously holding out his palm for her to take, "let's begin shall we?"

She stiffened, already plotting in her head that if push came to shove how she could defeat all three of them within seconds because to her, right now, survival was everything and if they posed a threat she wouldn't hesitate to take them down, no matter what they sprouted about family.

"It's just an initiation" Juan reassured and she relaxed a little, slipping her dainty hand into his and stepping forward, "I trust you're aware of our heritage"

She nodded, "there were four royal families, blah blah blah, kingdom, blah blah blah, united their power to make them stronger, blah" she finished with, "and I'm guessing that because there's four of us, you're all descended from a royal bloodline"

"Correct" Juan nodded, "all from different bloodlines which makes us cousins but you, my dear, we needed you. We needed offspring from the Araujo's clan to complete the circle, the uniting of power. We tracked you down, found out who you were but it was too late, you were already set to die. So we went against our better judgement, defying ancient forces to get you back and all for this moment" he spread his arms and she expected something interesting to happen, the ground to shake, puppies to fall from the sky, but nothing and wow-that was very fucking anticlimactic, "so we can finally become the hunters and not the hunted"

"So little girl-" Natália smirked, "-do you understand why you owe your life to us?"

"I don't owe you jack shit" she shrugged, sending the woman a heated glare, "and in case you forgot, _my_ bloodline is the most powerful which means _I'm_ very powerful, so maybe it's not a good idea for you to _piss_ me off"

Natália's bottom lip curled, her eyes flaring from dark brown to bright green in the space of a second but Andrès grabbed her arm and jolted her back before she could move.

"Unfortunately Natália, she's right" Juan stepped between them, "you are the strongest here. Your bloodline were the kings among kings. They had the most bloodlust and the purest sexual desire. Unfortunately, I don't like your odds against all three of us" Juan reasoned, "so why don't we all play nice hm?"

Natália jerked away from Andrès' grip, straightening out her leather jacket and flipping some of those gorgeous dark tresses over her shoulder.

"I wouldn't worry about Nat here" Andrès grinned, "she gets jealous of other females should she think they're better than her. I've seen her rip the throat from a Miss U.S.A winner"

Both boys laughed as Natália shot them both glares, that bright luminous green returning to her gaze.

"Now come-" Juan nodded her over to the trunk, "-to unite our power we need you to spill some blood – prove to us you're on our side"

She heard Stiles' words rattling around inside her head, about how she should do whatever it took to survive, to play along if she had to until she could take them down if need be and this was a perfect opportunity. If she pretended to be their friend, to work with them, they then may trust her with their secrets, with their weak spots and should they ever threaten her existence again then she really would tear their still beating hearts from their chests.

Because no-one, _**no-one**_ , got away with threatening her.

"Fine by me" she smirked, "killing sure is fun"

Juan grinned at her apparent excitement, nodding to Andrès and a few seconds later he appeared from behind the Nemeton with a struggling girl in his grip, a girl who she recognised from her Econ class – Rosie something or other, sweet girl, _too_ sweet for her own good sometimes.

"No, no please, _please_ don't do this" she begged, frizzy hair scraped back into a ponytail, large framed glasses smudged with her tears as she struggled in Andrès' grip, "Please, _please don't_ , my family, _my sister_ … no, please, Kayla, help me" she begged, "Kayla _help me,_ please"

"Tear her throat out" Juan instructed, "rip into her jugular until her heart stops and do it all with your teeth"

"Kinda messy don't you think?" she scoffed, "neck-snapping is equally as effective"

"Her blood needs to be spilt on the Nemeton, the more the better" and at Juan's nod, Andrès threw her into Kayla's grip and she had to hurriedly catch her flailing body, holding it tightly so she couldn't escape, "let's see what you've got cousin"

"Unless, of course, you're in over your head" Natália smirked, just trying to wind her up, "maybe you're not as heartless as everyone thinks hm? Could it be that human of yours is making you soft?"

"You have _no idea_ what I'm capable of" Kayla snarled, letting her eyes glow that ferocious green in nothing short of terrifying lethal anger as her nails sunk into the girl's arms who whimpered at the pain.

"I don't _believe_ you" Natália continued, watching eagerly as Kayla's annoyance rocketed, "I think you're just a little girl with a far too big ego. I _also_ think that if I paid your human a visit I could make him _worship_ the ground I walk on before I tear him to pieces, slowly, painfully-"

But Kayla didn't give her chance to finish her sentence before she let out a loud angry growl, slamming the girl backwards so she was sprawled over the trunk of the Nemeton and barely felt her teeth changing into those razor sharp k-nines before she tore into the girl's neck, much to her cousins delight.

They smirked as the girl – Rosie – let out a loud shout of pain, jerking and writhing underneath Kayla in agony as she tore into her neck, blood sprouting out from the torn artery and dripping heavily onto the Nemeton below but still Kayla didn't stop – she was angry, _furious_ even, and found herself taking it out on this innocent girl below, bleeding her dry, even when her heart gave up she continued until half her neck was gaping open and she spat out a mouthful of bloodied flesh, pushing herself up and met her cousins gazes.

"Don't you _ever_ threaten me again" she said lowly, raising a thumb and swiping at the corner of her mouth despite the fact her entire chin, neck and chest was drenched in blood but she said it in such a way that all three of them felt a shiver travel down their spines, "or I promise you, you all shall live to regret it - that _human_ is off limits, to each one of you"

Juan just gulped, his gaze drifting over the dead girl whose blood was seeping into the trunk before meeting Kayla's eerily still stare, making himself smirk.

Oh she was very powerful indeed and he _loved_ it.

He stepped forward just as a rumble of thunder shook the earth, flashes of lightning snaking across the darkened sky – initiation was complete. All four were now a team, a family and more powerful than ever.

"Welcome cousin" Juan nodded politely and Kayla watched, her mind already drifting to how she could get rid of them if she didn't find a use for them, "I feel we're all going to have so much _fun"_

* * *

"I'm so not in the mood to study" Malia groaned, slamming the math book shut, "I give up"

"You can't give up yet" Stiles chuckled, "you're starting to get it"

"I'm really not" Malia just pushed herself up into a sitting position on Stiles' bed, crossing her legs, "maths is hard and a total waste of time"

"Unfortunately it's a pretty mandatory subject" he smirked, sitting up too and glancing at the clock, "well we have been at it for a couple of hours, you want a break?"

"Please" she sighed in relief.

"Okay" he laughed, "I'm sure I have some snacks hidden away somewhere" he jumped up, loping over to the other side of the room to grab some popcorn, chips and Reece's he had stored away for occasions such as this and dumped them on the bed, perching himself at the edge and immediately going for the Reece's.

"Do you think I'll get it?" Malia asked, popping open the bag of chips, "it's been over two months and I still don't understand"

"You were also a coyote for the better part of eight years, in two months you've come a long way" he reassured, "just be patient"

"I don't have any patience"

"I'm well aware" he chuckled, "but it'll come, don't worry. If it makes you feel any better, I'm not that great at maths either – Lydia and Kayla were the experts in that field"

Malia frowned a little at that, giving him a critical look over, "Although I don't like her very much, I am sorry" she apologised, "you seem to love her very much"

"Uh… who?"

"Kayla"

"Yeah, well, worst mistake of my life" he scoffed, "as soon as I learnt of her second name I should've stayed away but…" he trailed off with a shrug, "I was being a stupid teenager in love I guess"

Malia frowned, putting down her bag of chips, "Uh… it was only a few hours ago you were talking about wanting to help her"

"No one can help her" he shook his head, "not now, not ever. Not after everything she's done"

Malia was just growing more confused by the second, wondering whether she had missed some obvious signs, "no… I specifically remember you telling her you would always be there for her"

"I changed my mind" he dismissed, "what's the big deal? I thought you out of everyone would be pleased I've given up"

"Well… yeah" but there was still something not right about any of this, she just couldn't put her finger on it, "but that is just because you're my friend and I don't want to see you hurt"

"Exactly, and loving Kayla would just continue to hurt me, so it's a win win" he shrugged dismissively, "just let her do her thing, I don't care anymore"

Malia was shocked at his brash tone, her gut churning as she watched him but he just gave her a passive look back, "what?"

"Nothing" she lied, "so you're really over her? Just like that?"

"Just like that" he confirmed, nodding quickly, "she's a monster now, I can't love someone that kills for fun or sleeps around"

Malia smiled a little to herself, "maybe it's for the best"

"It is for the best" he emphasised, "now I can finally move on with my life y'know? No more apologies, no more guilt, no more trying to save someone that doesn't want to be saved"

"But you loved her before didn't you?" she asked curiously, "before she died?"

"Yeah, so much" he agreed, "and that Kayla is someone I will _always_ love – but she's dead and she's not coming back. The thing that she is now is just an empty shell. Maybe it would've been better if she stayed dead"

Malia tucked some loose hair behind her ear, sighing loudly, "that makes me… happy"

He smirked, "happy that I'm not in love with anyone anymore?"

"Happy that you're putting yourself first. You're right, Kayla isn't worth it"

He glanced down, blinking quickly, "not anymore she isn't"

But even as he said the words they still didn't feel quite right on his tongue, like they left a bad taste in his mouth but he just shook his head, dismissing those thoughts. He thought of Kayla and all he saw was a bloodthirsty, soulless monster, not the girl he had once fallen in love with. Maybe she had just done too much bad for him to forgive her and think she was worth putting his time and energy into saving her when it was clear she didn't want him to.

"You have that thinking face on" Malia observed, "what is it?"

"It just… it didn't dawn on me before but I… I really don't love her anymore" he whispered in amazement, "I feel… nothing" he glanced up, "I really feel _nothing"_

"And you're definitely happy about that right?" Malia asked, tone dripping in confusion, "I can't tell"

And he found himself smiling a little, like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders, "yeah… yeah I'm happy about it, I just don't know when it happened"

"Does it matter?" she wondered.

"No, I guess not. Thanks for understanding… I doubt the others will be as pleased"

Malia scooted closer to him on the bed, quirking a brow, "what if she kills again? What are we supposed to do then?"

"I don't know" he murmured, "but I don't really want to think about that right now"

"Okay" she nodded, smiling a little, "then we'll talk about something else. Like how the hell am I going to ever understand maths?"

Stiles laughed, "honestly? I really don't know the answer to that, practice I guess"

She huffed, "and I'm guessing that will take time, right?"

"You guessed right" he reached out, placing his hand over hers on the bed, "but it's okay, you have me and Scott and Lydia, we can catch you up no problem"

Her stare fell to his hand, watching it curiously as she frowned, warmth spreading through her veins as she somewhat shyly glanced up and met his stare. Never did she think she would ever be back in school, somewhat enjoying it with friends. The last time she had friends she was eight, when she was a coyote it was a life filled with isolation and misery. Sometimes she couldn't quite believe this was her life now.

"Stiles…?"

"Yeah?" he answered, completely oblivious to her intense staring.

"Thank you"

"Uh, yeah" he smiled, "it's alright-oomph" whatever else he said was cut off by her lips crashing against his, muffling the rest of his sentence and he just froze. For whatever reason he wasn't sure how to respond, not expecting her to do something quite as blunt and straightforward even though he knew she may have had a small crush on him – he wasn't as oblivious as people thought he was – so he just tensed for a few seconds, his mind whirling.

He liked Malia as a friend, anything more and he wasn't entirely sure. Plus it didn't help she was Kayla's half-sister, something that-oh yeah-Malia _still_ didn't know about. But he had spent so much time loving Kayla, grieving for her and even trying to find some light in her darkness that he never really _let_ himself feel anything for anyone else. Maybe he should just move on, that could be the final step.

So after a few seconds he kissed her back, raising a hand and threading it through her hair and he was sure she smiled a little, pushing him flat on his back on the bed and straddling his hips, continuing to mould their lips together and he felt a small pleasurable buzz hum through his body, not really sure where this was going or if he even wanted it to go any further because, sure, she was funny and beautiful and a great friend, she really was, but she just…

… she wasn't _Kayla_.

Not the now Kayla, the old one. Before she died. He may have, somehow, stopped loving her, he may just hate her after everything she had done but he still missed how she was before all this crap.

But he pushed it from his mind, letting her take over, running his hands over her hips and tugging her down, letting himself get lost in the moment for just a few seconds – a little while to enjoy himself.

But whatever pleasure he got from it was cut short as his bedroom door was wrenched open and it took a couple of seconds for his mind to register the interruption, jumping in shock and pushing Malia up a little by her shoulders, craning his neck back over the edge of the bed as he flushed red.

"Oh don't mind me" Kayla waved her hand in their general direction, striding over to his chest of drawers, "I just need a change of clothes"

"Kayla what-what are you doing?" he demanded, helping Malia off him and frowning in anger at his former lover, "you can't just barge in here like you own the place"

"Keep your pants on" she scoffed but twisted her head over her shoulder and cocked a brow at the closeness of the two of them, "or don't. Huh… it worked" she said to herself, ignoring the slight twinge of hurt at the sight of the two of them, a little shocked that her compulsion had worked so well before just rolling her eyes and searching for a spare change of clothes in amongst Stiles', knowing that he would've kept them.

"I don't care what you're looking for, just get out"

"Jeez, chill Stiles, someone has a stick up their ass" she scoffed, 'ahaing' as she found exactly what she was looking for and tugged it from the drawers, turning around to face them as she stripped out of her bloody clothes, well aware both their eyes bugged from their sockets at the sight of the fresh copper blood staining her outfit.

"What did you do?" Stiles asked, shaking his head.

"What I had to" she answered, kicking away the dirtied clothes and pulling on a fresh pair of denim shorts, "so enough of the glares before I'm tempted to rip your eyes out"

Malia let out a huff and narrowed her eyes, the overwhelming stench of blood tickling her nostrils, "killing innocent people is something you _have_ to do huh? Why? Is that the only way you feel powerful and in control?!"

Kayla just gritted her teeth as she tugged on her purple vest top, shaking out her long hair, "you wouldn't understand" she cast a quick glance to Stiles at that, meeting his heated glare, "neither of you would. I made sure of that"

He had to frown at her cryptic words, his brain going into overload as he shimmied to the edge of the bed and stood up, balling his fists at his sides.

"And what the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?"

She sighed, rolling her eyes, "I gave you a way out, be grateful"

He was more confused than ever, stepping in front of her before she could leave again, "no, you'll answer me _now_ Kayla"

She cocked a brow, "why should I?"

"Because I'm damn well asking you a question" he raged, sidestepping at the same time she did, "no more games Kayla, please"

She pouted playfully, "games are so much fun though" patting his chest, "just sit back and relax and enjoy hating me Stiles, enjoy not being tied down. I am" she advised before sending Malia a sly look over her shoulder and smirking at Stiles, "seems I was right – your type is definitely Hales"

What? He was so bewildered at her statement that she managed to step around him and make her way to the door and he was so confused, so damn shocked at the words that left her lips because did she mean what he thought she meant? Did she know about Malia? But how could she, Lydia only told them after Kayla's death, none of it made any sense but it did cause panic to swell in his chest. If she knew that meant she had leverage over every one of them because if, and when, Malia finds out she would be pissed. She would hate them. She would feel betrayed, all because Stiles and the rest of their friends didn't have the guts to tell Malia the truth about her real family.

Stiles just watched her go, his fists loosening at his sides as she slammed the door shut.

"What did she mean by that?" Malia asked, standing up off the bed with a confused gleam shining in her brown eyes.

"… Who knows" he dismissed, unclenching his jaw, "Kayla can be as cryptic as hell" he was basically lying through his teeth but it had to be done, at least for now – he didn't know how Malia would handle learning her dad was a former psychotic Alpha who killed and terrorised god knows how many people and her half-sister was basically a soulless killing machine.

"Hm" for a second he thought she wouldn't let it drop but she just shrugged a second later, her eyes dropping to the bloody clothes, "I wonder who she killed this time?"

"I'm not even sure I want to know" his stomach churned at that, seeing the red that stained the once flawless clothes, wondering how she could even be like this when just ten weeks ago she was helping him shower because he was too weak to even walk after the nogitsune left his body, holding him as he cried – how could someone so caring and loving suddenly just snap?

"Uh so about, uh, about before…" he mumbled, trailing off a little awkwardly as he glanced at Malia, scratching the back of his neck, "uh… that was um.. it was nice but I… I mean…"

"It was my first kiss"

"-but I don't know if-wait, what?" he stuttered, "I-I was your first kiss? Ever?"

"It's not like coyotes go around kissing each other" she pointed out bluntly, "but I agree. It was nice"

"Uh… heh, yeah…" he dropped his hand, wringing them both together and coughed to cover up the awkward silence, "so-"

"Can we do it again?"

He jolted at her bluntness, shaking himself back to reality, "with who? With me?"

Malia just frowned and glanced around, "I don't see anyone else here, do you?"

"Uh… heh" he blushed a little, guilt swimming in his gut but he didn't know why – Kayla and him weren't together, he had stopped loving her and she was off screwing anyone and everyone else, why should he put his life on pause because his psycho ex-girlfriend had risen from the grave?

Okay, wow, that was really mean, where did that even come from?

But before he could contemplate his words Malia was in front of him, hands on his cheeks and tugging him forward into a heated kiss and okay-wow, what a distraction.

They tumbled on the bed, jotters and textbooks crinkling under their bodies and Stiles just flipped them over, mumbling a quick 'hold on' as he pushed himself up and tried to quickly move away the schoolwork but something caught his eye, frowning down at the confusing scribbles on the paper.

"Uh… Malia… did you write this?"

"No, those are Lydia's notes" she craned her neck back, still having a strong grip on his shirt, "and they are really confusing. I don't understand them one bit – do you see why I hate maths so much?"

He manoeuvred his body off hers, getting totally distracted as his eyes washed over the strange letters and symbols – no bloody wonder Malia was failing.

"Uh yeah, these aren't math notes" he mumbled, glancing up, "I'm not even sure what the hell it is"

But he fully intended to find out.

* * *

"You _what?"_

"Oh don't look at me with those judgey-eyes Mr-I-bit-a-freshman-and-left-him-in-my-bathtub" Stiles waved away Scott's shocked look, "it was just a kiss okay? Relax. _Fine_ , two kisses" he added, "no big deal"

"It's a very big deal" Scott mumbled, keeping his voice down as they heard Liam whimper from the bathroom, "you kissed Malia… who is Kayla's _sister_ …"

"Half-sister" he corrected, "that makes all the difference"

"No it really doesn't"

"Fine it's messed up, I know" Stiles gave in, "I was just really confused alright? It won't happen again"

Scott cocked a brow before frowning deeply, "I know it's confusing Stiles but we'll get Kayla back, I promise"

"Don't bother" Stiles dismissed, "if she wants to stay this way then let her"

Scott's frown deepened, "Stiles are you okay?"

"What-yeah, of course I am – why?"

"Because it was only a few hours ago you were totally devastated over the whole Kayla situation and now, what? You're magically okay with it?"

He shrugged, "or maybe I've just realised some people can't be saved – she's only been back a few days Scott and look at everything she's done. How many more people have to die for everyone to realise that she's not the Kayla we knew… she's a monster"

"She was in _hell_ Stiles, just in case you forgot" Scott pointed out, "I saw it… relentless pain and torture, we can't really blame her for lashing out"

"I can" Stiles shrugged, "I'm sorry Scott but it's time to give up. Stop caring before she makes you regret it"

"So you just stopped loving her, just like that?"

"Just like that" Stiles nodded, "and it feels good"

"No… no something isn't right here" Scott mused, "you wouldn't have just fallen out of love with her – not Kayla, not the girl you cried over for two months"

"And I'll still cry for that girl" Stiles tried to reason with, "because she's still dead. This Kayla _isn't_ her"

Scott just scrubbed a hand down his face, realisation dawning on his features, "she compelled you, didn't she?"

"What? No" Stiles scoffed, "I don't know what you're talking about"

"It makes perfect sense – you've always been her weak spot, even with no emotions, and you were getting through to her so she _made_ you believe you don't love her – she's cunning I'll give her that"

"That isn't what happened" he denied, "I just came to my senses"

"Look we'll sort this after we fix the Liam situation alright?" Scott clapped his shoulder, "maybe Deaton will know what to do"

And that just left Stiles more confused than ever, frowning at his best friend.

He was sure, so damn _sure_ , that he hated her and everything she represented, that he had plucked up the courage to finally fall out of love with someone who had made it her life's mission to be as unlovable as possible, but could that all be an illusion?

And just like all those months ago with the nogitsune, he wasn't sure where his feelings ended and a cold, dark influence began.

* * *

" _Has anyone ever told you you fidget about a hundred times more than the average person?"_

" _Funnily enough, you" she chuckled, sighing loudly as she turned around on her back and saw Stiles smirking at her, his eyes still half shut with sleep, "sorry I'm keeping you awake"_

" _It's alright" he whispered, slipping his arm around her waist and tugging her flush against his warm body, "why can't you sleep?"_

" _Dunno" she mumbled, loving the feel of his hand caressing the bare skin of her stomach, twisting her head to the side to watch his tired features smile at her through the darkness, "just can't"_

" _Very informative answer, thank you"_

 _She playfully elbowed him, twisting around on her side to face him so his arm fell over her waist, "even when half asleep you're still a smartass"_

" _Of course" he smirked, peeling his eyes open once again, "but you love it"_

" _Unfortunately" she teased, her cold legs intertwining with his, "apparently my past self never got the memo not to fall in love and do all those disgustingly sappy cutesy coupley moments"_

" _I'm so glad past you missed that" he tugged her closer so their noses brushed, "otherwise I wouldn't have anyone to do this with" and with that he somehow managed to pull her onto his chest before she could even get her head around it, "now try and sleep, you've told me many times I'm very comfortable"_

 _She snorted in amusement, glancing up and gazing down at his face through the dark, "have I ever told you how much I love you Stilinski?"_

" _Lots, but I'm totally up for hearing it again"_

" _Good" she laughed, leaning up to press a quick kiss to his lips, "because I love your dumbass more than pretzels and cheese"_

" _Romantic"_

 _She grinned to herself, letting her head rest under his chin as he sleepily stroked her back, tracing each bump in her spine and it wasn't long until she had drifted off, no more fidgeting needed._

"No, stop it" she mumbled to herself, tapping the side of her head, "no stupid memories please"

Because, right now, the last thing she needed was reminders of her past life – especially ones that involved him.

She glanced up through the darkened night sky, gaze settling on her old house and felt the hatred well inside her, her fists clenching at her sides.

She may have hated hell but now, in this moment, she hated that damn house and the person in it more than was probably socially acceptable.

So she just strolled forward, calming striding through the front lawn and up the porch, lifting her hand and chapping on the door.

" _Well then… let's see if we can survive this evening then, shall we?" Kayla asked, smirking to herself as Stiles still looked a little dumbfounded from the kiss, his eyes glazed over._

" _Uh… it's a highschool dance – not much can go wrong"_

 _He had taken her hand, interlacing their fingers as they walked over the threshold out onto the porch and she glanced slyly at the side, watching Stiles bite his lip nervously, his hairline beading with sweat and she just smiled to herself at his nerves, squeezing his hand in reassurance as he glanced up, meeting her calming stare and smiled back._

"Nope, we are _not_ going there tonight" she shook her head quickly, hating how all these memories were seeping in through the cracks and had to take a couple of deep breaths, shutting her mind off. She didn't know why those images were forcing themselves in her head, she didn't want them, she didn't even want to _remember_ them but they were there, plaguing her ever since that moment in the hospital where she made Stiles believe he wholeheartedly hated her.

Maybe it was whatever little conscience she had telling her she had made an awful mistake and to reverse it but she wasn't that easily swayed – him not loving her was better for everyone.

However, she thanked the distraction as the door opened and forced the smirk to pull at her lips as her mom stood there, her face dropping.

"Hello mother" she greeted brightly, "did you miss me?"

A sickening crunch of bones echoed throughout the still night air as her fist came in contact with her nose which caused the woman to fall backwards, sprawled out on the floor, totally dazed as blood gushed down her chin.

Kayla took a quick glance over her shoulder, checking the street was empty before stepping over the threshold and slowly letting the door close behind her, ready for a long and bloody night ahead.

 **AN) IM SORRY or am I? no I am haha but like stalia wont be a thing don't worry but still THE FEELS haha and kayla is remembering such tender moments but she's like NOPE not going there ha, and wow wonder if Jody will finally get what is coming to her? Ahah so please please review and I will see you all super super soon (even tho I have so much uni work but oh well) haha see ya soon x**


	11. Chapter 11 - The sweet smell of revenge

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any shape or form (cries) thank you all so much and a massive and thankful shoutout to**

"N-No, this can't be" her mom exclaimed, shuffling back on her hands and staring up at her in dread and hate, speaking through the blood spilling into her mouth, "you were dead, I saw it"

"I came back" she smirked, "and you always did say I was my father's daughter" and her mom just stared at her fearfully, clicking the pieces together – Peter came back, why couldn't Kayla? It was equally quite possible.

"You should have stayed dead"

Her mom's hateful and brash tone made her snarl, leaning down to grab her ankle and yank her forward, holding her still to send her a heated glare, "and you should've been a good mother – we can't always get what we want" and with that she snapped her ankle to the side, grinning at the wail that left her mom's lips but instead of letting up she just continued to twist it little by little, the bone appearing through the skin, "oh sorry, does this hurt?"

Her mom whimpered, gasping in pain as she tried to reach forward to knock Kayla's hands away but she just responded by batting away her useless attempts, reaching out with her free hand to grab her mom's bottle dyed blonde hair and hold her still, meeting her pained stare.

"I haven't even started yet" she warned, not letting up the grip of her hair, "when I'm done with you you're gonna wish you at least _tried_ with me"

"Unlikely" the woman snapped, "you being like this just proves my point all along" and it shocked Kayla a little as she chuckled in exhaustion, being far too damn stubborn as she glared at Kayla, "that you're nothing but an _abomination_ -"

She never got to finish her sentence because Kayla just twisted her ankle again until she heard the sickening crunch of bones snap with the sheer force of Kayla's strength, her foot almost completely dislodged and she screamed in agony, collapsing back against the wooden floor as she sobbed quietly.

"Maybe" she agreed with a snarl, "but you brought me into this world, what does that make you?"

Her mom never answered as Kayla finally let go of her ankle, wiping away the blood on her denim shorts and standing up, hovering dangerously over her, "now I'm _still_ not hearing an apology from you"

"And you _**never**_ will"

"It's like you _enjoy_ getting hurt – oh well" Kayla shrugged, grabbing a fistful of her mom's top and yanking her up, ignoring the shriek of pain as she was forced to put weight on her broken ankle, "the more fun for me"

With all her strength she propelled her mom backwards so she fell into the hallway cabinet, the wood breaking apart on impact and as she ungracefully slithered to the floor, gasping in pain.

"You call _me_ the abomination but look at you – **pathetic"** Kayla sneered, slowly striding forward, enjoying taking her time as her mom tried to push herself backwards away from her, "a lonely… hateful… self-absorbed little bitch, even Peter got fed up of you after time"

Her mom didn't reply, slowly shuffling away, a trail of blood following her.

"I will kill you" Kayla vowed, inching forward, "could be today, might be tomorrow or I could even let you live in fear of when I'll next appear through that door to rip your puny little blackened heart from your chest and that, mother… that's a promise"

Her mom stopped, heaving back some choked breaths, her face screwed up in pain but it soon flattened into distaste and determination as she stared up at her, sweat beading along her hairline, "then do it, kill me, at least then I won't have to _ever_ see you again" and that surprised Kayla, cocking a brow at her mom, "you _disgust_ me – all you've ever done is disappoint me… it should've been you instead of you brother" and Kayla actually fell back a step at that, her anger bubbling to the surface, "he was worth a hundred times what you are – a stupid, easy little _whore"_ she spat.

Kayla just sighed, softly shaking her head at her mother's words, "you really shouldn't have said that" and with that reached into her shorts pocket and pulled out her phone, slowly punching in 911 and holding it up to her ear.

"Hello – yes, I'd like to report a murder" and had the satisfaction of watching her mom's eyes widen, "4112 Reddin drive, Beacon Hills"

"No… don't _you dare"_ her mom seethed loudly, "Kayla-"

"Hold on a moment" she told the operator, pulling the phone away from her ear and cocking a brow downwards, "shhh, dead people aren't supposed to talk, at least play the part – it'll be good practice" rolling her eyes and pulling the phone back to her ear, "there's blood everywhere, she's in a pretty bad way – in fact, I even think she's missing her eyes"

Her mom's eyes widened in fear, chest rising and falling quickly, fear spreading through her veins as Kayla just smirked and shut the phone off, having a quiet little laugh to herself at her mom's pathetic attempts to try and escape – didn't she know it was futile by now?"

"Beacon Hills police department take, on average, five minutes eighteen seconds to respond to a call – huh" she mumbled in afterthought, "who knew Stiles' useless little facts would come in handy?" but her mom just pulled herself down the hall, inching towards the kitchen, "that means I have five minutes to make you _scream"_

She stalked forward, casually clasping her arms behind her back and whistling a tune, her eyes lighting up at the sight of blood still dripping from her mom's ankle and felt herself grinning.

"Too slow mother" she announced, rounding into the kitchen as she saw her mom collapse back against the breakfast bar in the middle of the room in exhaustion, "you're making this _way_ too easy for me – hey, maybe that's what Peter thought" she whispered afterwards just to piss her off, "you call me a whore but you're the one that opened your legs for him"

"Shut up"

"Aw, am I hitting home?" she laughed, "good" and with that she let all hell break loose.

Her mom deserved to pay for everything she had done, for all the things she had said – she was far from a saint, in fact she was more like the devil and if anyone deserved to die in agony it was her. She was heartless, controlling and borderline sociopathic, putting her own wants above anyone else's – she was anything but a good person.

She threw her into just about every surface, throwing her about the room like a ragdoll, breaking a few ribs in the process and causing cuts and bruises to appear all over her body before finally slamming her atop the marble bar, her head banging painfully off the hard surface.

"When you die, very soon, there is a special place in hell for people like you" she whispered, "and I'm happy to send you there"

Through the exhaustion and pain with blood seeping into her eyes her mom looked up at her, breathing heavily and wincing in pain, "h-hell" she laughed, coughing up a mouthful of blood, "hell was raising you for sixteen ye-years… I can handle anything"

"Wow, harsh" Kayla commented, "and they call me emotionless and soulless" laughing a little at the irony, vaguely hearing the oncoming sound of sirens, "huh, looks like we're out of time… that's oh so bad for you" and her mom tried one last time to jerk away but she gripped at her body tighter, holding her down, "you said you didn't ever want to see me again, that can be arranged" she whispered, cupping the sides of her mom's face, "the last thing you'll _ever_ see, in this life, is me, doing this" and with that she dug her thumbs straight into her mom's eye sockets, laughing to herself in amusement at the scream that tore from her mom's throat, a scream of pure agony as she flailed, blood pouring down her cheeks.

"Squishy, squishy, squishy, so very squishy" she mumbled over the screams, twisting her thumbs just to add salt to the wound, "wait, isn't that a quote from finding nemo?"

Her mom just continued to scream in response (yes, _very_ original), "that's about the only good thing you did for me, showing me that film"

Eventually though her mom's screams died down, fading away into nothing as Kayla smirked and pulled back, stepping away from her broken and battered body, ignoring her faint cries, and picked up the nearest dish towel, wiping her hands on it.

"You deserved that" Kayla whispered, turning her back and walking towards the drawers when the utensils were, planning on finishing the job – maybe with a knife so she could gut her, possibly even a rolling pin to smash her head in with - who knows, it would be a surprise, rooting through the drawers to find her perfect weapon of choice but was forced to abandon that and spin around as she heard a bang and her mom's loud shriek of pain only to see a looming pale figure over her, an exe or tomahawk held tightly in his grip which was buried deep in her mom's gut.

She was too shocked to say anything, staring into the pale wide eyes as the figure just stared right back, raising a single finger to his lips – well, what might have once been his lips, his mouth completely gone.

And then just like that he was gone, disappearing and leaving Kayla totally and completely flummoxed, just the sound of sirens piercing her ear drums.

"Motherfucker" she cursed loudly, striding forward and glancing down at her, now, dead mom, "she was _my kill"_ she screamed, slamming her palms on the marble top, "you… you were _my_ kill" she whispered, narrowing her eyes at her mom's bloody features, staring deeply into the empty sockets where her eyes once were, "but no matter-" hearing the front door burst open, "-hell still awaits you, you narrowminded, hateful, evil, cruel-"

"Hands where I can see them"

"-fucked up bitch" she finished with, pulling back and staring into the barrel of two guns, their torch lights near blinding her, "and wow, ever heard of knocking?"

"I said hands where I can see them" and she rolled her eyes at Parrish's demanding tone, sarcastically throwing them in the air, "happy now?"

"Step away from the body"

"Well it's not like I can step any closer, is it?" she rolled her eyes, giving her mom one last hate filled look before stepping to the side.

"Kayla?" and she twisted her head to the side, meeting Sheriff Stilinski's worried but yet knowing gaze, "can you… can you put your hands behind your back please? Parrish, cuff her"

"Getting arrested for a crime I didn't even commit, that'll be a first" she scoffed but did as he asked, turning around and placing her hands behind her, feeling the cool metal of the cuffs engulf her wrists, "and here we are deputy Parrish, I did say I would enjoy you cuffing me, remember?"

She felt him gulp but grab her arms tightly, guiding her from the room, "do you want me to read you your rights?"

"No thanks" she shot the sheriff a grin as they walked past, "it's a known fact that white police officers don't abide by them" she whispered, stepping from the house, "and maybe I don't want you to"

He stiffened, increasing their pace as he guided her towards the sheriff's cruiser, "Miss Hale-"

"Please, call me Kayla" she said seductively, twisting around before he could bundle her into the backseat, "we've made out and you've touched my boobs, I think we're a little past the formalities don't you think?"

He stiffened, glancing over his shoulder to make sure no one heard, specifically the sheriff, "just… just get in"

She flashed him a smile and a wink, "of course _deputy_ , whatever you want – I'm always aiming to please"

* * *

In all honesty she could have totally escaped if she wanted to, it would've been easy, seduce that fine looking deputy in the back seat, cuff him and take off but she wanted to see how it would play out, to see what more damage she could do.

Plus she wanted a little time to muse over her mother's death, how she never got to deliver the final blow but at least she was dead and gone and that pleased her immensely - she even managed a little torture beforehand, what more could an abandoned daughter want more?

Parrish guided her towards the cells, uncuffing her carefully and stepping back from her quickly and closing the cell door and locking it making her smile at him.

"You nervous by any chance deputy?"

"I don't know what you are but I'm not taking any chances"

"What I am?" She laughed, wrapping her hands around the bars, "what ever could you mean?"

"I'm not oblivious" he stated, "there's something different about you"

"Great pick up line" she winked, "hot and great with words, I like"

"Kayla..." He paused, cocking a brow, "you were a good kid when I first met you - you were happy with Stiles and your friends, you did good in school. When Allison died you were upset... Why have you suddenly changed?"

"Aw, don't you like a bad girl?"

He frowned, obviously realising he wasn't getting through to her, "there's a difference between a bad girl and a murderer"

"You're really killing the mood here deputy" she tuffed, "no fair"

He frowned, taking his chances and stepping forward, "did you kill your mother?"

"No" she whispered, laughing quietly to herself, "did I wish I did? Sure"

"You're covered in her blood"

"I said I didn't kill her, not that I never beat her around a little" she rolled her eyes, "learn the difference deputy"

He sighed, "I think the sheriff wants to speak to you at some point"

"Of course he does, old man has a soft spot for me" she chuckled, "send him in whenever, it's not like I'm going anywhere"

Not yet anyway, she could escape whenever she chooses and she was having way too much fun behind bars to make an escape just yet.

Parrish just sent her a confused look before leaving the room so she waited patiently, leaning her forehead on the bars until a few minutes there the sheriff walked in, followed briskly by Scott, Stiles, Lydia and Isaac.

"Wow, the whole gang's here - well almost" she added, meeting Stiles' heated stare, feeling a little sad that it held so much contempt but smiled through it, "not want to bring along your new girlfriend?"

"She's not my-" but he cut himself off by sucking in a deep breath as she smirked, obviously knowing she was just doing it to wind him up and get a reaction out of him, "nevermind"

She snorted, glancing up at the sheriff, "so I'm guessing you have some questions? And judging by your backup you're assuming you're not gonna like the answers"

He stepped forward bravely, giving her a once over, "you're mom was pronounced dead on the scene"

"Of course she was, did you see the state of her?" And at that she had to laugh, snorting to herself in amusement, "wow the irony considering she couldn't, see that was, having no eyes might have contributed to that - well that and being dead of course"

"Kayla..." The sheriff paused and she could see how hard his next words were, how much he didn't want to say them, "you've been arrested for murder"

"Yeah I kinda guessed that" she scoffed, "but I didn't do it"

But it was Stiles who shook his head, his furious gaze meeting here, "and you expect us to believe that?"

"Believe what you want, I don't care" she shrugged, "I never killed my mother - I _almost_ did but I spent too much time with the whole torture part"

"You hated her" Stiles hissed, "you're covered in her blood and you're saying you never murdered her in cold blood? You used to be a good liar Kayla"

"You hated her too" she pointed out, "does that mean you killed her? If we applied your logic that would mean you would be in a cell next to me, try again Stiles"

He clenched his jaw, angrily letting his eyes narrow as he stepped forward, brushing past his dad and grabbed at the bars next to her hands, leaning in close to her so she could feel his laboured breathing hitting her lips and she just had to glance down, kind of missing the way they felt against hers.

"You... You're..." She heard the hate in his voice, the way it shook as he tried to keep himself composed, "I would never kill someone for that though, unlike you you... You..."

"You, what?" She smirked, tilting her head up to meet his stare, "careful Stiles, you used to sleep with me, whatever names you call me reflect badly on you too"

His patience was wearing thin, that much was obvious, especially as he shut his eyes briefly for a few seconds to stop himself from lashing out.

"You should have never come back" he muttered, looking across at her in distaste, "everything was going fine until then"

"Well you have my three psycho cousins to thank for that" she whispered, "otherwise I would still be getting ripped apart by your alter ego - move your blame elsewhere Stiles"

But before he could retaliate with some harsh words, Lydia stepped forward and took a hold of his arm and pulled him back, her eyes warning him to stay calm and shut up before she took his place opposite Kayla, keeping her gaze soft.

"If it's worth anything, I believe you"

"It's not" she shrugged.

"You have to work with us here Kay" Lydia pleaded, "you're in jail, don't you realise how serious that is?"

"And I can get out anytime I want" she winked, "you think a few metal bars can hold me back? Wrong. I just enjoy the drama"

Lydia paused, glancing back at her friends before peering up at Kayla, "we know you compelled Stiles"

"So what if I did, what does that have to do with anything?"

"Is that a confession?"

"A little dramatic but sure" she laughed, "but instead of judging me for that, why don't you ask Stiles how he feels Hm? Ask him if he feels better for it?"

All pairs of eyes met his and Stiles fidgeted a little under the intensity of it all, shrugging in defense, "I don't know, I guess so-"

"See? No big deal?"

"-but not if its all a lie" and she met his stare, cocking a brow, "what the _hell_ Kayla"

"oh for god sake, enough of the dramatics" she rolled her eyes, "you were annoying me and just about everyone else with your stupid puppy dog love, it was quite frankly disgusting, so yeah I made you hate me"

"Why-why would you do that?" He demanded, "after everything I went through with the nogitsune-"

"Because I..." She sucked in a deep breath, falling back a step and crossing her arms, "because, eventually, you're gonna fall out of love with me, I just speeded up the process - saves us both the hassle. Don't you think?"

He was looking at her like he didn't even recognise her, softly shaking his head and running a tired hand down his face but Scott just patted his arm and stepped forward, nodding for Lydia to keep behind him.

"Reverse it"

"No" she smirked.

"Kayla..." His eyes flashed red in warning, "reverse what you did"

"Hmmm sexy" she grinned, "but still no"

"Why not?" He asked in exasperation, "if you don't see Stiles as a threat to you, to your emotions, then why take away his choice?"

She never answered, her glare intensifying.

"You want to know what I think?"

"No, not particularly"

"I think you were scared the more he kept trying to get through to you, the more he forgived and understood, the more guilt and pain you would feel"

"you're wrong"

"I don't think I am" he shook his head softly, "so prove it to me - reverse the compulsion"

She sighed through gritted teeth, moving her gaze from Scott to Stiles, letting herself fall in those molten gold orbs and hated the way she felt herself softening ever so slightly.

See? This was why she did it in the first place, so she didn't have to feel so... So... So whatever the hell it was that was tugging in her gut.

But she just hardenend her demeanour, scoffing a little, "sorry girls and boys, answer is still no"

Scott's face fell in defeat, "Deaton is working on how to fix it anyway, I trust he'll come up with something"

"Great, but until then-" she flashed Stiles a grin, "-keep hating me, it's fun to watch"

"I'm going to have to interview you" the sheriff spoke up, "your mom is still dead-"

"Something which I _still_ didn't do - c'mon, don't you think if I did do it I would take pride in the fact I knocked the wicked bitch off her high horse? I only went as far as taking her eyes, thank the guy with no mouth for that"

"Yeah" Stiles scoffed, "like _that's_ believable"

She cocked a brow, accepting the challenge, "Scott, come here"

"Uh, why?"

"Because I want to prove something to Loverboy over there and you can help me, come here" she added, not willing to take no for an answer.

He inched closer, stopping directly opposite the bars so she could reach forward and gently take ahold of his hand, loosening his clenched fingers and smirked up at him as he flushed red a little.

"Relax Scottie, I just want those claws to come out" she let her eyes flash green so he got engulfed in them, "do it"

He obeyed, not really having a choice in the matter, and looked shocked when glanced down and saw his claws out, her warm fingers massaging his hand in comfort.

"I'll show you exactly what happened" her implications perfectly clear, "but first... Kiss me"

His eyebrows shot high into his forehead at that, looking a little shocked at her request and she smirked to herself.

"It helps with the pain of claws in my brain" she explained, "so if you want to see the truth... Kiss me"

He got a little flustered at that, cheeks becoming a deep splotted pink and just as he was about to twist his head to look at the others she reached up with her free hand, cupping his cheek, "don't look at them, look at me, it's only polite"

He gazed down at her, morals and curiosity battling inside his head until he eventually gave in, nodding a little down at her and she smirked to herself, tangling a hand through his hair and bringing his head forward against the bars to allow her lips to flutter over his.

Because the kiss of a true Alpha held a lot of power, plus he was pretty easy on the eyes and knew that a good long make out session would satisfy her for the hours to come. And it did. Satisfy her that was, probably more than she thought.

His lips were soft but strong, moulding against hers perfectly as she smiled, tugging him even closer and letting her tongue brush along his bottom lip, getting totally lost in the feel of his mouth against her, using his distraction to guide his free clawed hand towards her neck, positioning it perfectly, her gasp getting mixed between their kisses as she felt his claws plunge into her neck, searching through her memories.

But unlike this time she was in control and she showed him exactly what she wanted him to see - there was no way he was straying away and getting lost in her head again, seeing stuff she would much rather stayed bottled up.

But she continued to kiss him, keeping them both calm and pain free until he jolted a little, claws extracting from the back of her neck and pulling back a little, sweat beading on his forehead as he peered down at her in shock.

"See?" She whispered, stroking his flushed cheek, "I never killed her"

He licked his lips, frowning a little as he held her stare before slowly and carefully stepping back, "she's uh... She's telling the truth - it wasn't her"

"Then who the hell was it?"

Scott glanced up, meeting the sheriff's stare, "someone not human anyway"

"So don't mind me, I'll happily wait here for my apology" she grinned, "unless, of course, you want to send that hot deputy of yours back in, then I really won't mind being locked up"

"Dad... Keep her here" Stiles whispered, meeting her stare, "and maybe it's best to tell your deputies not to go near her"

"I'll get out" she warned, "and when I do I think I'll pay a visit to Donovans house, it's him you don't like right? Because I bet he has a handcuff kink too, and if he doesn't he will by the time I'm done with him"

Stiles flinched a little, looking like that hurt but just sighed softly and shook his head, "you being locked up is safer for everyone Kayla, including for yourself so... Goodbye"

 **A)N) hahaha a little shorter than usual but I legit heading out the door haha I hope you all enjoyed and wow brutal, no eyes lol, and haha finding memo wow Kayla, and she's still snarky even in jail ja hope you all liked and please please review and I shall see you soon xxx**


	12. Chapter 12 - The ultimate betrayal

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any shape or form – cries for all eternity – and wow, I seriously love you all so much with your follows and favs and reviews as well as ideas etc, it means the world seriously, and a massive and thankful shoutout to linda96, Amandalucia, EllieDragon, XxxXCherriesXxxX, Guest, JessicaMessica, guest (aw, I would never ignore any thoughts/ideas don't worry, I love hearing from you and am definitely taking on board everything you say :) ) and Jocie413 for reviewing, you're all so fab and I hope you enjoy this next installment x**

"Goodbye? _Goodbye?"_ she repeated to his retreating figure, rolling her eyes in annoyance, "you couldn't have thought of something more epic than 'goodbye'? Pathetic" she crossed her arms over her chest as he halted, hovering over the entrance as his friends watched him nervously, "and to think I _actually_ wasted my time on you – more fool me"

She saw his shoulders tense beneath his tee, his head inclining ever so slightly to the right to glance at her from the side of his eye, "you're better off here where you can't hurt anyone else"

"Hurt?" she scoffed, cocking a brow, "you mean kill" she corrected, "and just FYI Mr moral police, you're not strictly innocent yourself" and refrained from grinning as his back straightened, turning around to face her with wide eyes, "you may have not been in control when the nogitsune wreaked havoc and killed _all_ those people, but that dark side of you enjoyed it. And you know I'm telling the truth, you told me. You told me _every_ sordid dark thought that passed through that head of yours so, for future reference… don't preach to me"

"And that's something I'm going to have to live with" he settled on saying, "but at least I know it was him controlling me, bringing out the worst… what you're doing is all you"

"Maybe" she agreed, "but whatever compassion… empathy… _care_ … I had was hard to hold onto after… _everything"_ she muttered the final word, shaking her head slowly, "I didn't choose this Stiles, I didn't _want_ to be this person but you know what? It happened and the pain's gone so y'all… each and every one of you…-" letting her stare graze over each pair of fearful eyes scrutinising her, "-better watch the fuck out because you do _not_ want to get on the wrong side of me right now"

"That's why you're better here" Isaac pointed out, "so you can cool down and then maybe we can all have a proper talk"

"Aw, you wanting a little heart to heart?" she mocked, "like _that's_ gonna happen"

"We just want to understand… that's all" Lydia whispered, that mossy stare of hers welling up with saddened tears.

"… Understand?" she mumbled, momentarily closing her eyes at their infinite stupidity before snorting in something close to amusement, "understand? That's funny, really. Comedy gold _right there_ Lyds" she threw at the redhead, her vicious words making the girl flinch, "you're all too _good_ to even remotely consider my side of the story. You have these pesky little things called morals and emotions so why, why oh why, would you listen to the words of a dead girl?"

"That's where you're wrong" Scott whispered, "maybe you're blinded by hatred or anger, I don't know, but Kayla… you… you're our friend and we will _always_ listen to you"

"Sweet" she deadpanned, "really, that tingled my soul"

"You think we won't understand and maybe you're right, maybe none of us can comprehend why you're doing the things you do but remember… I saw" and she froze, meeting Scott's soft stare, "I saw a moment of what happened to you"

"So, what? You see him yank my shoulders from their joints and burn me to a crisp and you think you're some qualified shrink now?"

"Here's your chance Kayla" he ignored her sharp tone, keeping his gaze pitiful and empathetic, "talk to us and make us try to understand"

"Understand?" she laughed, "don't patronise _me"_ her voice like thunder as she glared at the group, "how could any of you _possibly_ understand. How? Please do enlighten me, I would _really_ love to know"

They all stayed silent, watching and studying her carefully.

"Thought as much" she mumbled, taking a step back from the bars and scoffing under her breath, "because how is it someone like _Aiden_ got to move on and I didn't? How is that? _Answer me!"_

Lydia flinched but stepped forward, her eyes widening at Kayla's admission, "A-Aiden?"

"Aiden" she confirmed in a stone cold voice, folding her arms stubbornly, "that bastard… he decided to be good for all of a couple of months and whatever fuckwit up there thought he deserves to be at peace? That's messed up" she rolled her eyes, shaking her head in exasperation, "He got to find peace, as ridiculous as that sounds. He was just… so…" her eyes glazed over, getting lost in those memories she had tried so hard to push down, "… he was so _warm…_ he looked _happy_ … and all I felt was the cold – the kind that seeps into your bones and fills you up with dread. That never went away. It was always so _cold…"_

She involuntarily shivered, her mind drifting away from the prison cell as she glanced to the side, her posture eerily still, breath fogging up the dusty air around her, the grey brick walls gone only to be replaced by the damp murky dark stones and her eyes widened, feeling her heart pound in her chest as it got so dark she had to squint, knowing this place perfectly.

It was his favourite – the nogitsune. A dark, damp dungeon. No doors, no escape. Just him and her. She liked to think of it as the 'void'. The place they were sent that existed nowhere. Stuck between realms, knowing no time. The place he had the power to manipulate, bend to his own will. Never once did he conjure up somewhere bright and happy, no, it was always the kind of places that made a person want to _scream_.

"No… no, this isn't real" she murmured under her breath, seeing only the silvered mist that fanned out around her as her breathing pace increased, feeling her blood run cold, her skin pale and ice cold to the touch, "it isn't real"

"It's real to you" a voice as soft as velvet but as dangerous as a cobra echoed and she flinched, unable to move even an inch as she saw a dark shadow cast against the wall, "you may have escaped me, but I will _always_ be there with you… in that pretty little head of yours…"

"… S'not real…" her teeth chattering together noisily, chest seizing with fear as she finally plucked up enough courage to stumble back a couple of steps, her back crashing into the damp wall behind her, "none of this…"

"Poor little Hale, damaged goods" and she flinched at the familiar voice, "you will never escape me… _never"_

She found herself holding her breath, cowering against the wall in something close to complete anguish and terror, unable to tear her gaze away from the shadow on the wall, hearing his dark laughs echoing all around her, piercing her brain and she _hated_ it, she hated him, she hated how weak he made her feel, how afraid, how utterly vulnerable-"

" **Kayla"**

She jumped at the voice, the dark stone encased dungeon disappearing from her vision as the familiar surroundings of the cell returned and she felt herself shivering against the grey bricks.

"You alright?" it was Isaac, his hands wrapped around the bars as he stared at her in worry, " _Hale_ , you okay?" reiterating his urgency.

This is why she didn't want to remember, because her memories would suffocate and engulf her. She would lose herself in them, see stuff that wasn't there, crumble under the agony. She may have escaped the Nogitsune's clutches but he would _always_ be a part of her – he made her like this after all.

"Okay?" she chuckled lowly, shaking her head, ridding herself of those god awful fear inducing memories and stepped off the wall, running her hands through her loose hair, "okay? Am I okay? _Funny_ " she continued to laugh, pacing the length of the cell, "Really, totally hilarious"

The pack watched her carefully, not entirely sure what to make of the situation but they all silently agreed on the same thing – they saw a little bit of vulnerability shining in her green stare, like she was cracking under the pressure.

"How about y'all mind your own god damn business" she settled on saying, "don't pry, don't make me remember, don't even make me _think_ about it. Just…. Don't" hating herself for how desperate she sounded but knowing she wouldn't be able to cope if she was forced to remember any more of that hell, "none of you… not _one_ … can understand. The fear… the wondering what he would do to you next… what horrible things he would make you see, or do…" she added, "non-stop agony forever… and all because I tried to do the right thing" her gaze meeting Stiles', "because I put someone's life above mine in hopes that he would get a chance to live the life he wanted… because I _cared_ … you all wonder why I can be so heartless, emotionless… but look what happened when I loved. I got punished for it in the worst, inhumane way possible… all alone… with no one to help me. And I tried, I did. I held onto my humanity for as long as I could, even when he tore me apart limb from limb… made me-made me watch my baby dying, made me _feel_ it-" subconsciously clutching her stomach, "and what made it a hundred times harder was him looking like you" she saw Stiles' eyes well up with tears, "the guy I loved… so I'm sorry I broke, I am but… but I reached my limit and I couldn't take it anymore… it just got too much… so that's why I'm like this – not because I 'chose' it, but because that's what happens when someone gets tortured and beaten and broken down beyond repair – they snap"

Everyone was silent as she blew out a long breath, her body feeling physically tired after that long-winded explanation, not liking how soft it made her look, how broken. But it was the truth. She was batshit crazy but on a psycho level, so she supposed that made all the difference.

"I'm sorry…" the person she least expected spoke up, "you didn't deserve all that. It should've been me"

"No Stiles" she shook her head, "I um… I don't believe in fate, never have really but… but Allison said something to me before she died and it kinda hit home. She said… she felt like everything she did in her life was to lead up to one moment where she had a purpose. She told me that hours before she died. She died figuring out how to kill the oni, I died so you wouldn't. Maybe we were just _supposed_ to die" she shrugged, "so quit blaming yourself, it's annoying"

And for a brief second his lips quirked, like he found her blunt side amusing and she, just for a moment, smiled back and winked.

Just like old times.

"So to summarise, I am totally and completely nuts and maybe a _tad_ unhinged" she raised her finger and thumb and pressed them almost close together, "but all things considering I think I turned out not too bad. I could've been a brain eating zombie"

"I think we're all glad _that_ never happened" Isaac joked.

"My point exactly" she pointed at her friend – former friend, whatever, "so that's that. But just a little tip for y'all, I may be acting disgustingly soft right now but I can guarantee that'll probably change within the next thirty seconds so you should all leave" she advised, "before my killer tendencies resurface"

"Uh… you can all go ahead, I'll stay here" Isaac offered to the slightly shocked pack, "I uh…"

"Awwww, aren't you sweet?" she mumbled, "staying here and keeping little old me entertained, now _that's_ how you treat a girl" she remarked sarcastically.

"And we're back to bitchy Kayla" Isaac muttered under his breath, "that was way less than thirty seconds"

She shrugged, "had to make up for the barf worthy little speech back there"

Isaac frowned in wondering, looking at her curiously, "Huh"

"Huh what?" she asked, placing her hands on her hips as the rest of the pack looked at them curiously, "what has your little brain figured out?"

"Nothing" he smiled a little and she narrowed her eyes, knowing he was lying, "it's alright guys, I'll be fine and keep an eye on her. Figure out what to do about this Liam kid"

"I don't know…" Scott trailed off in worry, "what if, uh-" he glanced at Kayla and she cocked an eyebrow back, challenging him to finish that sentence, "you know…"

"What? Kill him?" she guessed, "aw, don't you worry your cute little head about that Scottie, I wouldn't destroy such a handsome face" smirking over at Isaac, "pinky promise"

"Guys, its fine" Isaac repeated, "and if you're worried about her compelling me to let her out then lock me in with her"

That idea got some serious backlash but, eventually, after some debating, Kayla stepped back as the sheriff quickly opened the cell door and Isaac walked in and nodded reassuringly at his friends, "guys, relax, it's fine, she won't hurt me"

"Oh I wouldn't _dream_ of it" she grinned, taking a step closer and letting her hand run over his bicep beneath his white tee, "shame you didn't wear that favourite purple scarf of yours, we could've tied each other up. Would've been fun"

"And the sexually fuelled seductress returns"

"Don't act like you don't enjoy it"

Isaac just shook his head, facing the pack again, "I promise it'll be fine"

Slowly they all departed, casting worried and wondering looks over their shoulders but they soon all filtered away until Stiles stopped over the threshold, turning back around to stare at her.

"I want you to reverse the compulsion" he said softly, "if hating you isn't real then I don't want to feel that and regret it later on" he explained, "so just do me a favour, just one… reverse it"

If he asked five minutes ago when her sap mood was activated then she probably would've done it except now her hard demeanour had slipped back on, forcing any and all pity and sympathy down into the bottom of her cold dead heart.

"I already did you a favour loverboy, I helped you live" she said quietly, "and maybe I did it the wrong way but I gave you a chance to move on and to quit loving someone that isn't capable of loving you back… it's for the best"

"I think that's where you're lying" he murmured, checking to make sure the pack had left, casting a quick nervous glance to Isaac, like he didn't want him to hear what he was going to say, before sighing loudly and walking back over to the bars, "I think Scott was right. You freaked because you… you still love me" he whispered the last bit, cocking his head to the side curiously, "you're hiding it, but you do. I see that now"

"Well, doesn't someone have an ego the size of texas" she laughed, "you know what Stiles? Just go, go and plead to Deaton to reverse it just don't come crying to me when you turn back into that pathetic little love sick puppy with no life"

He gazed at her and despite the hate that she knew was coursing through his veins, there was no anger in his eyes, just curiosity and understanding and that just aggravated her even more. She wanted him annoyed, she wanted him pissed at her because that made it so much easier, why did he have to be so stubborn?

He sighed heavily, casting his eyes downwards towards his converses, "we've given you so many chances to let us help you… why don't you let us?"

"Because I don't want your help nor do I don't need it" she replied calmly, "I'm not yours to fix or change to suit your needs – you don't like the new and improved me then it's your loss" she shrugged, "it's no skin off my nose"

He closed his eyes briefly, wrapping his long fingers around the bars and pressing his forehead against the cool metal, whether in exasperation or exhaustion she wasn't sure and for a miniscule of a second she felt a pang in her chest, that painful tug her heart gave and she felt herself _actually_ sympathising with him.

Ha – sympathy, what a weak and useless emotion.

She rolled her eyes, ridding herself of whatever softness she felt for him, "go home Stiles" she advised.

"I just…" he paused, slowly peeling his tired and red rimmed eyes open, "I miss what we had, before all this happened" he admitted, "don't you?"

She frowned, analysing the pure honesty in his voice, how it wasn't forced or untrue – he really _did_ miss the old Kayla, the one before she died, he was still _grieving_ for her. But did she, herself, miss it? She didn't know and she never wanted to find out.

"No" she lied smoothly, keeping her exterior cold and hard, "I don't. What we had means _nothing_ to me, why do you think I can have sex with all those people and feel no regret?" he flinched a little, his gaze hardening, "so go have fun with Malia, I'm sure she'll be able to satisfy your needs"

That flare of anger returned to his molten gold eyes, his jaw clenching, "fine, maybe I will"

"Good" she retorted.

" _Good"_ he snapped back, his features twisting into annoyance and disappointment, "at least she gives a crap"

"Yup, you snagged yourself a winner – _ding ding ding"_ she called out to his retreating figure, "she's the _jackpot_ , eight years as a coyote and about as thick as my tolerance for you right now, _really_ , such a catch"

He threw her a dirty look over his shoulder, "go to hell"

"Been there, done that, got the t-shirt" she shouted.

He never replied, just stormed from the cell room and slammed the door shut behind him and she deflated, narrowing her eyes at the empty space.

"You're pissed at the thought of him sleeping with her, aren't you?"

"No" she rolled her eyes, facing a curious Isaac, "I don't care who he sleeps with"

"Try saying that in a tone I actually believe" and she clenched her fists at her sides, narrowing her eyes at the dirty blonde haired werewolf, "watch yourself or I really will rip your intestines from your stomach and make myself a swing"

"It's alright to admit it you know"

"There's nothing to admit" she denied, "now kindly zip it before I make you swallow your tongue just to get you to shut up"

"Okay, shutting up" he threw his hands up in the air, taking a couple of steps back to slide down the wall and bend his legs out in front of him, "but if it's worth anything, he won't do it"

"Do what?"

"Sleep with Malia" and she hated herself for listening to what he was saying but finding her curiosity and wondering (maybe even worry) winning out, "you may have made him hate you but that kind of love can't be erased or forgotten. Plus, he doesn't really like Malia that way, especially uh… never mind"

She knew what he was going to say – 'especially because she is your sister' and snorted under her breath at all their density. She knew all about that little situation, them keeping it a secret was just adding to her amusement.

"But the bitch does"

Isaac glanced up, cocking a brow, "is that jealousy I hear?"

"No, it's a statement" she snarled angrily, "an observation. Because she is a little bitch, one I would quite happily dangle out of a hundred-foot window until I'd had enough and drop her"

"Sounds like jealousy to me"

She rolled her eyes once again, not talking about this matter anymore, knowing he was just trying to bait her and took a seat next to him on the hard floor, crossing her legs.

"How's Paige doing?" she smirked, feeling him tense, "or is she still avoiding you?"

"I uh… I haven't talked to her yet"

"Shame" she commented dryly, "such a _loss"_

"There's no need to be snippy about it" he frowned, "she was your friend once, she was my-"

"What? _True love?"_ she drawled out jokingly, "I doubt that very much"

"How would you know?" he retorted, "you were gone for two months"

"Correction - I was _dead_ for two months, get your facts straight" she pointed out, "and you forget, I'm a seductress, I feel things, and you don't love her. Fond of? Maybe, but love?" she tutted, "and I also know you two have yet to seal the deal" and he flushed a little, "I can smell virgin all over you"

"So what?" he retorted, "sex isn't everything"

"No, but it sure is fun" she smirked, her eyes gleaming as she teased him, "something Paige clearly doesn't know the meaning of"

"We only broke up because of you" Isaac pointed out, annoyance and irritation in his tone, "something which you took great pleasure in, I'm sure"

"Don't go and put all the blame on me, I never seduced you, just made you feel what was already there" she replied with honestly, much to his discomfort, "it's fine that you still have the hots for me"

"I-I don't"

"Try saying that without the stutter" she smirked, "you never did get over me, did you?"

He sighed heavily, stretching out his long legs and wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans, "maybe, maybe not, I don't know. But I accepted that it wouldn't happen – best friends aren't supposed to want their best friend in _that_ way. I moved on"

"And how's that working out for you?" she grinned, "because when we kissed I felt how much you wanted to pin me to those lockers and take me right there. Hell, if your little girlfriend never interrupted we probably could've gotten all the way to third base"

He sighed loudly, cocking his head to the side to look at her, "I like Paige"

"Yeah but you like me too" she shrugged, "if you wanted I could totally coax Paige into a threesome. What?" at his surprised wide-eyed look, "that would be an awesome way to lose your virginity – just saying"

"Uh… no thanks" he snorted, "but it was nice to offer"

She smiled in amusement, reaching out to place her hand over his thigh, "or… just me"

His eyebrows shot high into his forehead, that splotted pink blush returning to his cheeks as he glanced down at her hand and gulped, shyly meeting her gaze, "Uh…"

"Now's not the time to act all innocent and pretend you haven't thought about it" she pointed out shamelessly, "or that you haven't jerked off at the thought of me naked"

His blush deepened, still looking surprised at her bluntness, "well... Not recently" he admitted, "you know, because you were, well, _dead_ "

"Glad to know necrophilia isn't a kink of yours" she teased, "but I'm not dead anymore, everything works _perfectly"_

 _"_ I uh... I wouldn't do that to Stiles, believe it or not but we are actually pretty good friends now"

"Urgh, forget about Stiles, why is everyone so hung up on him? He's not important"

"He was devastated Kayla" Isaac frowned, "Scott had to literally pry your dead body from his arms" and she was a little taken aback by that, obviously having no memory of the events after her death, "he wouldn't leave his room in days"

"So you're basically saying I died and went to hell so he could sulk like a little five year old?"

"What? No" he shook his head quickly, "I'm saying that he deserves to not get hurt again"

"Whatever" she muttered, "way to ruin the mood - our sex would've been great - better than your kinky wet dreams that I can assure you"

He stayed quiet for a few moments and she knew he was forcing that image out of his head, probably getting a little turned on the more he tried, but he eventually met her stare and tried for a smile.

"Even though you're kind of a murderous bitch right now, I am glad you're back" he settled on saying, "which is why I'm not going to give up on you - you're in there somewhere, I know you are"

"Whatever Isaac, keep misplacing your hope, see if I care" she patted his thigh before pushing herself up, starting to pace as she got a little fidgety hating being cooped up. She needed her space, hating being held back, reminded her too much of her time with the nogitusne.

Nope Kayla, no, don't go there.

She shook her head, clearing her thoughts and returned to pacing, feeling Isaac's eyes on her the whole time.

"What's the matter? Sit down" he said gently.

"I can't, I'm getting antsy. Since I've been back this is the longest I've gone without murder or sex, torture just doesn't hold the same enjoyment" referring to her deranged mother, "and if I try and escape I could take down this whole building in an earthquake and something tells me you may frown upon that"

"Yeah, you were right there" he immediately replied with, sitting up straight with a nervous look on his face, "you could kill me so don't"

"Relax, I won't" she reassured with a laugh, "like I said, I wouldn't destroy such a handsome chiselled face and I don't go back on my word"

He relaxed a little but still looked a tad unsure, keeping a closer eye on her. She just sighed, wringing her hands out as her fidgetness amplified.

"I could always masturbate" she thought outloud, "that would totally satisfy me for a bit"

"Uh, here?" Isaac asked nervously.

"No, outside the cell that I can _totally_ get through" she remarked sarcastically, "of course here, do you mind?"

"Yes"

"Tough luck" she shrugged, sliding down the wall opposite him and unbuttoning her shorts, "and by the way, you're totally welcome to watch"

His cheeks reddened, his wide surprised eyes unable to tear away from her as she shimmied herself out of her shorts until she was sitting there in her green lace skimpy underwear, sliding her fingers under the lace and biting her lip, glancing up to meet Isaac's shocked gaze.

"It coulda been us but your morals are getting in the way" she gave him a one shouldered shrug as his cheeks flamed red as she raised her legs, keeping them slightly bent and spread a little, "just sayin'"

He watched for several seconds, eyes filled with lust and curiosity as she dipped her fingers deeper, circling them against her before he coughed awkwardly to clear his throat, dipping his head as she got more into it, letting low moans slip past her lips as the feeling of pure ecstasy filled her and she tilted her head back against the wall and sped up until she felt her lower stomach clench and groaned, eyes rolling into the back of her head and letting out a pleased, exhausted sigh.

Through her closed lids she felt Isaac's burning gaze on her and she smirked, peeling her eyes open slowly and grinned as he was staring at her shyly.

"Enjoy the show?"

He gulped, sweat beading along his hairline, "no comment"

"I'll take that as a yes" she laughed, tugging her blood splattered shorts back on, loving feeling that contented bliss coursing through her body, "better than the porn you watch on your laptop, am I right?"

He never answered and she just smirked, pushing herself up and crossing her legs, "Isaac, it's fine to admit you're sexually attracted to me"

"How is it okay? You're my best friend, you're dating my friend-"

"I _was_ dating Stiles, not anymore"

"-I got over you, or I thought I did, please let's just not go there"

"Okay okay sheesh - someone's touchy" she threw her hands up, giggling a little as she shimmied across the floor to sit next to him, "calm down"

He sighed heavily before rubbing at his eyes, "it's late, maybe we should get some sleep"

"Go ahead, I'm too wired" she waved at him with her hand.

"Just don't kill me in my sleep"

"I'll do my best"

He cocked a brow before deciding that sleep was more vital than his demise as he shifted into his side, lifting his arm and placing it under his head.

But sleep never came easy.

Not even an hour later he groaned and sat up, looking grouchy and annoyed as he ran his hand through his tousled hair.

"Aw, poor baby couldn't sleep?"

But to her surprise he looked suddenly very sad, his eyes heavy and slightly wet and she squirmed uncomfortably - urgh, she couldn't deal with those yucky emotions right now.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Seeming how we both have nothing better to do, shoot"

"Think back to before what happened, when you were normal" and she just cocked a brow at his use of words, "how did you deal with losing both your parents?"

"Alcohol" she said bluntly.

He didn't seem phased by her tone or lack of interest, looking glad that he just had a pair of ears to talk to, "the anniversary of my moms death is next week"

"Congratulations" she said dryly, "why is this keeping you up?"

"Because I miss her" he said simply.

"Oh. Well I don't know much about that considering I just stuck my thumbs in my mothers eyes until they liquified"

"Well she was a horrible person, my mom wasn't"

She didn't like where this conversation was going, getting bored already.

"Isaac I don't really care, sorry but I don't" she shrugged, "people die all the time"

He glanced down at his lap, staying quiet for a few minutes until he finally glanced up and, to her shock, he looked about ready to cry.

"Uh... There there" awkwardly patting his head, "don't cry or I really might be tempted to remove those baby blues from their sockets"

"If you were actually Kayla right now, you would've been hugging me by this point"

"I don't do hugs" she said bluntly, "just get over it, that's my advice"

He laughed, "thanks, that's great, I feel better already"

"Sorry but I'm not an advice columnist"

He just nodded in acceptance, wringing his hands together, "I haven't even told Paige that"

"Of course you haven't, you weren't that invested in her" she said knowingly.

"I did like her" he insisted, "I still do"

"Forget about her, she's not worth it" she dismissed, "I could kill her if you want"

"Oh god, please don't" he said quickly, "Kayla-"

"I was joking" she patted his leg, "... Maybe, no promises"

"Kayla-"

"fine, I'll leave her alone" she corrected, "happy now?"

He sighed in relief, glancing down at her hand that was still stroking his leg but never said anything and she smirked to herself as he shifted his body that little bit closer to hers, like he was deluding himself she was the old Kayla and she could provide some form of comfort to him.

"I dug your grave you know, me and Derek"

"Well you did a fab job" she said sarcastically, tilting her thumbs up at him, "proper cosy"

"Can you stop being snarky for like ten seconds so we can have a proper conversation?"

"Unlikely"

He sighed in disappointment but continued none the less, "I'm trying to say how much I missed you"

"Well stop beating around the bush, it's like you're trying to bump up your essay word count"

He shook his head a little but continued holding her stare, "well... I missed you. A lot"

"That's nice" she said dryly, "I'm sure I felt something right here" raising a hand over her chest where her heart was, "or wait, maybe that's heartburn"

"Keep up these games Kayla, but I know it's just a defence mechanism" he murmured, "I know hell changed you but-"

"You know nothing" she interupted, "and don't hurt your pretty little head trying"

He frowned but continued on, "I want my best friend back"

"And I want world domination, we can't always get what we want"

Isaac, for a second, looked totally defeated but just a moment later he leaned forward and crashed his lips against hers and she was pleasantly surprised he actually had the balls to do it without any persuasion on her part. But no sooner had she felt that pleasurable hum from within spark alive did he pull back and frown guiltily, wincing a little.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have done th-"

But she never gave him a chance to finish that sentence before tugging him forward and kissing him fiercely, her body humming in approval. This she liked. This she could do. Talking was a no go. Feelings was a definite fuck that. But sex? The perfect distraction.

She crawled onto his lap, looping her hands around his neck and tugging him against her and he may have not had much experience bar in the last several months but boy could that boy _kiss_. She moaned against his lips, detaching a single hand to tug at his white tee.

And Isaac just let her, knowing he would probably live to regret this but with everything from losing three of his friends, Paige dumping his ass and his mom's death anniversary, everything was overloading and he was suffocating in grief and despair, totally lost.

The kiss broke as she pulled back to yank the tee over his head, casting a quick appreciative glance down to his toned chest before tugging him forward into another kiss as he grabbed her hips tightly, hard enough to leave bruises.

"You're so tense" she mumbled, swiping her tongue across his bottom lip, "let me relax you"

He just nodded and in no time at all her hands were unbuttoning his jeans and sliding them off his hips a little, her working on her shorts and he barely registered any of this, sitting there against the wall and just wishing he had an easier life - one where sleeping with your best friend wasn't an actual thing but he couldn't deny it, he always had a soft spot for Kayla, whether or not he had accepted they would never be a thing. He doubted that would ever go away, even if she was being a cold hearted murderous bitch.

She kissed down his neck, pulling off her shorts before grinding against his lap, reaching down to tug her underwear to the side before meeting his gaze.

"Show me how much you missed me" she said softly and he swiped his tongue across his lower lip, stare trailing down her body before snapping back to her lips, curling his hand through her long hair and tugging her forward against his solid chest and the seductress in her purred in relief, satisfaction filling her veins as she tilted her hips up, sinking her nails into the back of his neck before lowering herself down.

He immediately shuddered, his fist tightening around her hair as she stayed still, slyly watching his expression and smirked to herself as his face screwed up a little, resisting letting the groan of enjoyment escape his throat.

"It's okay" she whispered, tracing her fingers along his brow and cheek bones, "just relax and enjoy it... I don't bite, unless you want me too of course"

He sighed, tugging her closer and kissing her and because it was his first time she started off slow, letting him enjoy what sex actually felt like (and who said she wasn't a nice person?) before speeding up, grinding and twisting her hips until he was a groaning sweaty mess underneath her.

"Good boy" she said breathlessly, running her hand through his damp hair as he tiredly let his forehead roll against her shoulder, still clinging to her hips, "told you sex was fun"

He never replied, too busy getting his breath back as she smirked to herself, slowly clambering off his lap and tugged on her shorts, watching as he swiped at his forehead and pulled his jeans up off his lower hips.

"Your stamina will improve, just give it time" she patted his leg, "but for your first time, I'd give you a solid six and a half out of ten"

* * *

"Shit, Kayla wake up, they're coming"

She yawned, rubbing at her eyes as she listened to Isaac's frantic tone, "nope, that was you last night"

He looked panicked, grabbing her arm and pulling her up, "that shouldn't have happened - oh my _god_ , what was I thinking?"

"You were emotionally unstable plus sexually frustrated, a lethal combination" she waved away his concerns, "and just F.Y.I - I never seduced you, not even a little. That was _all_ you big boy"

His eyes widened nervously, placing his finger over her lips indicating her to be quiet, "Shhh, they'll hear. Don't-don't say anything, Kayla please" he begged, "not about-"

"What? Our sex?" Ignoring his hushed panicked whisperings, "relax, it wasn't anything to scream about from the rooftops, you need practice"

He ignored her, big blue eyes wide and searching, "please, don't tell"

She was about to tease him for acting like a five year old before they heard the rattle of keys against the door into the cell room and both glanced up as Scott walked in, followed promptly by Lydia, then Stiles and Kira, all looking a little relived at the sight of Isaac untouched and unharmed.

Well, not strictly _untouched_ or _unharmed_ , the nail marks on the back of his neck was probably healed by now but...

"Top of the morning to y'all" she said sarcastically, "please tell me you've brought breakfast, I'm _starving -_ being behind bars is more exhausting than it looks you know" smirking to herself at the inside joke and sending Isaac a coy look as he flushed uncomfortably.

 _"_ You can get it yourself when you walk out of here" Scott replied, "which we'll do for you... Once you reverse the compulsion"

"This again" she rolled her eyes, "lemme guess, deaton didn't know how to help"

Their looks said it all.

She chuckled, crossing her arms, "fine, I will, but just because you asked _so nicely -_ well that and I really want pancakes and syrup"

Stiles' eyes widened a little in shock, stepping forward, "really?"

"Yes _really_ , pancakes and syrup is _the best_ combination known to man"

"No, about the compulsion" he clarified, standing so close they were almost nose to nose through the bars, "it's not a trick?"

"Nope, I'm just fed up of your whining" she rolled her eyes, "maybe when you're back to your annoying pesky lovey Dovey self you'll get a reality check that I don't give two fucks about you and you'll move on so-" she shrugged.

He sighed in relief, not dropping his stare as he waited for her to do her thing as she let her eyes glow that bright green, gazing deeply into his eyes.

"Everything I made you feel about hating me is now non existent, I'm letting you feel what you truly feel, no compulsion, no toying with your emotions, just you"

He blinked once, then twice, slowly coming back to his senses as he stepped back and rubbed at his eyes, shaking his head to bring him back to reality.

"You okay Stiles?" Scott stepped forward, placing a hand on his shoulder, "did it work?"

"Yeah... Yeah it worked" he nodded slowly, a small shake in his voice, "how-how could you do that to me?"

"Easy, I just manipulated the inner workings of your brain-"

"No" he near enough growled, "how could you do that to _me?"_

She sent the pack a confused look before focusing back on Stiles, "I'm not following"

"You're... You're supposed to love me" he said sadly, "you can't force your way into someone's head to make the sitution easier for _you_ , who the hell does that?"

"Me, evidently" she snarked, "now we had a deal, open the cell"

But Stiles just shook his head, sadnes, disappointment and anger all brimming in his honey stare, "we should just leave you here"

And for a moment she heard the seriousness in his voice, how badly she had hurt him that he wanted her to stayed locked up but she shook herself rid of those feelings, cocking a brow.

"You do and I'll snap Isaac's neck before I bring down this entire building to get out - do you really want more blood on your hands Stiles?"

He flinched like he had been burned but before he could retaliate Scott stepped forward, the bundle of keys in his hands.

"Please don't make us regret this"

"I probably will" she said bluntly, grinning as Scott let the cell door slide open and she stepped out, "but don't worry, I don't hold grudges - last night was fun" she deliberately twisted her head to look at Isaac as he stepped out, "wasn't it?"

He flushed red and she didn't have to be a werewolf to know how fast his heart was beating in his chest.

"Uh... I-I forgot something, hold on" making up an excuse not to answer as he stepped back into the cell, keeping his back turned and pretending to look for something.

"What'd you lose?" Scott frowned, "I didn't see you go in with anything"

"Oh, just his virginity" she dismissed, "but I doubt that's something he can get back"

Isaac froze, wincing as he turned around to stare at Kayla with wide eyes but she just shrugged, "sorry, those baby blues don't work on me" referring to his begging and pleading just two minutes ago, "maybe if you scored an eight outta ten I would've considered keeping my mouth shut as a favour"

"You... He... You both..." She cocked a brow at Stiles' devastated look, "you slept with him?"

"No" she scoffed, "we had sex" correcting him, "sleeping together suggests fondness and a romantic attraction, none of which was there - at least on my part" knowing she was just digging Isaac deeper into a hole he had no chance of getting out with, "anyways, must dash-"

But before she could leave Stiles grabbed her arm tightly, his eyes brimming with fresh tears but when he glanced at her there was no sadness or guilt in sight, just pure raw hatred and anger.

"You've crossed the line" he growled, "in fact you can't even _see_ the line anymore - and as for _**you**_ -" he snapped at Isaac, still holding her arm in a vice like grip as Isaac slyly and slowly swung the cell door shut like he was protecting himself from an enraged Stiles - ha, the werewolf protecting himself from the human, how ironic, "-you _bastard_ , you were supposed to be my _friend"_

 _"_ Stiles, I am, I'm sorry-"

 _"Stop lying" he thundered, "_ the two people that aren't supposed to hurt me..."

"Enough of the pity party" she ripped her arm free from his vice like grip, "you and me? We aren't a thing anymore, never have been since I got back. I'll do what I want and fuck who I like because I _can_ , end of story. Get over it" she advised.

"If you're trying to make me hate you then well done, mission accomplished" he wiped at his eyes, anger shining on his features, "it's working"

The second he said that she almost coiled back in hurt - dammit, that wasn't supposed to hurt, she was supposed to be jumping for joy finally hearing those words pass his lips - but kept her composure, shrugging a single shoulder.

"Good" was all she said, "welcome to the club"

 **a)n) okay a little longer to make up for the wait haha but OMG OKAY I promise it won't get much worse than this, be it or not Kayla will slowly start to work with the pack in a way and such haha sorry about this chapter I know you all hate me but, well... Ha, Kayla and Issac are and never will be like a proper thing but it had to be brought up, considering he still likes her in a way and in the first story he was crushing on her badddddd haha anyway love to hear your thoughts and I promise next update will be quicker, peace out xxx**


	13. Chapter 13 - Emotions are lethal

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf is nay mine peeps (sad face) anyways thanks you all SO MUCH for the follows/favs and reviews, which include TheMysteriousPerson -0-'-0, mrs Tall Blonde and Dead, Phantom, x XRoweenaJAugustineX x, Guest (aw don't worry it made perfect sense, ha), EllieDragon, JessicaMessica, PorcelainPuppetLady, Guest (hold a grudge? Possibly, but it will definitely play on his mind), zvc56, Guest, linda96, Amandalucia, jk522 and guest for reviewing, you are all the best readers ever and I hope you like this update x**

To say Stiles was angry would be an understatement. Probably the biggest one of the century. He wasn't angry. He wasn't mad. He was _enraged_ , like a ball of fire, fury and wrathful intent burning through his veins.

He understood that sex didn't mean love. Hell, people hooked up with people all the time, it was no big deal. Just like how he also knew him and Kayla weren't a thing anymore, but that didn't excuse the way his heart felt. The heart wanted what it wanted and it wanted Kayla back. But just hearing those words, how she said them so casually and how she saw nothing wrong with screwing their friend made this all a hundred times worse.

At least all those other people she fucked around with weren't close to him, he didn't give two tosses about them, but Isaac was a whole other kettle of fish. He was their _friend_ , he was in the pack and now Stiles would have to look at him and see him with Kayla like _that_ , in _that way_. Just the thought made him sick – especially given their history, all _three_ of them.

He heard Kayla leave, his body quaking with rage as he clenched his jaw so tightly he was surprised his teeth never cracked under the sheer force, his fists curling at his sides so his nails bit into his skin nearly drawing blood.

How _dare_ he! _How dare he!_

"You _son of a bitch"_ he rounded on Isaac, facing the fearful and mortified werewolf through the cell bars, "you _know_ I love her"

"I'm _really_ sorry" he tried to apologise quickly, his gaze full of shame, "I don't know how it happened-"

Stiles scoffed, "You don't know how you let her ride your dick?" his voice full of spite, "from the _get-go_ this is what you wanted, well congrats, you got it" he spread his arms out sarcastically, throwing Isaac the dirtiest glare he could muster, "you got in her pants, I hope it was as good as you wanted"

Isaac dipped his head, not even meeting his gaze he was that remorseful, "Stiles… please… I-I'm sorry, I _really_ am. What happened, it was just…"

"So _help me god_ -" he exploded, "-if you say it was just sex I will _kill_ you!" he fumed, " _Just friends don't want to have sex with each other"_ taking another couple of strideful steps forward until he was breathing heavily with his face through the bars, "how did it happen?"

Isaac glanced up shyly, wringing his hands, "I-I don't know"

"Bullshit" Stiles cursed and that was just how furious he was, livid enough to swear and curse until his throat went hoarse, "did she seduce you?" because then maybe, just maybe, Stiles may calm down enough to not want to deck him until he dropped dead but it was no excuse, he doubted he could _ever_ forgive Isaac for this.

"Uh… no" he admitted, "she didn't, I was upset about Paige and my mom and I kissed her first-"

And that was it for Stiles. That was his breaking point. For _months_ he felt inferior and self-conscious to Isaac, his doubts and insecurities telling him that Isaac was the better choice for anyone – of course he was, he had those handsome good looks, that charming way, the body of a Greek god and the strength of a powerful supernatural creature, why would anyone want scrawny human Stiles Stilinski when they can have _that?_

So he lunged, seeing red as he grabbed bunchfuls of Isaac's white tee and shoved him harshly and painfully against the cell wall so the back of his head hit off the bricks but he didn't care, not having an inch of sympathy for his friend – and friend, right now, was pushing it. _Majorly_ pushing it.

"You bastard" he repeated, his voice shaking, "do you have _no_ loyalty? Do you even _know_ what that words _means? –_ Get off me Scott" he jerked away Scott's hands, "or so help me god I won't be responsible for my actions"

It was only at Isaac's nod did Scott reluctantly step back, the guilt inside Isaac's chest swelling at Stiles' devastated and rage filled stare.

"You kissed her first huh? You mean like that time you got her high and made out with her? Just like how you did then hm? _Answer me!"_

"Yes" he admitted shamefully, "it just… escalated"

"Escalated?" he chuckled without humour, "it _escalated?_ No you _moron_ , you just couldn't keep your dick in your pants" he answered simply, "and to think I thought you were my friend" he scoffed, "stupid me"

"I am your friend Stiles, I am-"

" _You don't sleep with your friend's girlfriend"_ he exclaimed before realising what he said, "ex girlfriend, whatever the hell she is" his voice getting louder and his grip getting tighter, slamming him back against the wall again, "it's one of those lines you _don't_ cross but _of course_ you just _had_ to cross it didn't you? _**Didn't you?"**_

"I..." He fumbled over his words, a nervous sweat building on his forehead, "it was wrong Stiles. There's no excuse" he shook his head slowly, "I just miss her, you know? She was your girlfriend but she was my best friend"

"Sounds like an excuse to me" Stiles felt his bottom lip curl, rolling his eyes at how pathetic Isaac was being, "you... Why did you... How _could_ you...?" He whispered, slowly shaking his head in exasperation, tightening his fists around Isaac's tee, "how _could you?"_

Isaac's whole body shook with the velocity of Stiles' shakes, repeatedly slamming his back against the wall.

"I said I was _sorry!"_ He exclaimed and it almost appeared he was near tears, "I'm sorry Stiles, I really really am... What can I do to make it up to you huh? Stiles _please_ -" he reached forward to grab his upper arms in desperation but Stiles just shook them off, "-please tell me how I can make this right"

"You can't" he whispered, his voice low and full of fury, "not after this"

Isaac's blue eyes suddenly saddened, guilt and regret eating him up from the inside, "if it's worth anything... I uh... She called me Stiles... during uh... I think that means even when she's being like this... She still feels something for you"

"Evidently not enough" still holding him against the wall, "and clearly you don't care about me either because now... Now this has just made everything so much more complicated, because when you lose your virginity to someone, you'll always have a weak spot for them - trust me, I know"

Stiles stepped back, letting go of Isaac's tee as it creased but he still felt this untameable rage seize ahold of his body, especially as Isaac let out a deep breath, hunching over a little in relief and he snapped. He just _snapped_. This kind of betrayal was enough to make him lose it.

He clenched his fist, swiping his right arm out until it collided with Isaac's cheek bone, not even giving him a second to even think about defending himself before his fist was smashing against his nose causing it to gush with blood but before he could get another hit in, Scott had stepped forward again at Lydia's shriek when Stiles started to get violent, grabbing his arm and yanking him back.

"Stiles it's okay, calm down-"

" _Don't_ tell me to _calm down"_ he raged, kicking out as his feet dragged across the floor as Scott pulled him back, his strong arms wrapped around his torso, "I am _not_ calm, not after what _he_ did - what _they both_ did, you lying unloyal _son of a bitch-"_

"Whoa, easy-easy" Scott whispered calmly in his ear, "come on, let's go - _Stiles_ I said lets go, calm down" gently pulling him out of the cell room and into the empty corridor, carefully letting him go but keeping an eye on him in case he thought running back in and beating Isaac to a bloody pulp was a good idea, "you okay?"

He shrugged off Scott's touch, pulling back and jolting his shoulders to put his shirt back in the right place, yanking it down at the front, "I wasn't done punching him yet"

"Yes, you were" Lydia appeared through the door and he saw a glimpse of Kira holding a rag to Isaac's nose that was still bleeding, "you broke his nose"

"He heals" he dismissed, "and he deserved it"

Lydia sighed, sharing a worried glance with Scott, "maybe" she agreed, "but..."

"But what?" He snapped, "he _slept_ with her!"

"And that was wrong - so wrong" she agreed, "but you and Isaac are friends, we're a pack... We can get through this"

"I wouldn't be so sure" he mumbled angrily, throwing a dirty look to the closed door before storming away, his defensive posture making it obvious that he didn't want to be followed so his friends wisely stayed where they were, watching him go with sad looks on their faces.

'Get through this' Stiles thought as he strode from the police station, he doubted he and Isaac would _ever_ get through this. It was one of those rules you just don't break, no matter what, and he broke it and all for what? A few minutes of fun. _Wow_. He honestly thought their newly blossoming friendship meant more than that. Isaac stayed with him. They poked fun at each other. Stiles grumbled about him taking too long in the shower and in return Isaac wrote playful profanities in the fogged up mirror. It was just the nature of their relationship and Stiles actually found himself enjoying his company - yeah, shocker right? But it was true, and now all that was ruined.

He clenched his teeth, yanking open the jeep door and throwing himself in, his fists clenching around the steering wheel as he tried to even out his breathing, to calm himself down but it wasn't working, he was furious, sad and disappointed all at once.

"Get a grip Stiles" he mumbled, wiping away the tears building in his eyes and just as he was about to start the engine he saw Kayla sitting on the low wall that encased the building, looking, somehow, deep in thought.

A well of anger pooled in his stomach as he started the engine and let the keep jolt forward until it skidded next to her, reaching over to open to the door.

"Get in"

She looked up, expression void of any emotion, totally blank, "no"

His cheeks flushed with anger, his mouth twisting into a thin line as he stared at her, "I said _get in -_ don't make me ask you again"

"And. I. Said. _No"_ she reiterated, standing up slowly to face him, "the state you're in right now you look about ready to crash deliberately and although I can heal, I'm not in the mood to waste energy"

He blew out an aggravated breath through his nostrils, sighing loudly before jumping out and slamming his jeep door shut, striding around to stand in front of her, one hand gripping the passenger handle.

"Kayla just get in. You owe me an explanation"

"I don't owe you anything" she claimed, scoffing under her breath, "you and I? Not together, comprende?" tilting her head to the side, "which means I can have sex with who I wish - don't get all pissy because it was Isaac who you have a serious inferiority complex to"

He reached out, grabbing her arm in a vice like grip and jolted her forward, "are you trying to make me mad huh? Because trust me Kay, you haven't seen just how mad I can get - _ever"_ he warned, "so get in the damn _jeep"_ near enough pushing her forward until she yanked her arm out of his grip, twisting around to face him.

"Don't _man handle me" s_ he exclaimed through gritted teeth, "no means no, got it?"

For a second he felt guilty, his expression softening before he came to his bearings again, his stare hardening, "lately that's a word you never seem to use" and she frowned at that, knowing exactly what he meant, "it's all yes, I'll open my legs and lie on my back for you"

She seemed surprised at his sharp tone, if not a little offended and hurt but less than a second later she just scoffed, rolling her eyes and leaned in close to him, "now Stiles, we all know _that's_ not true - I like to top" she said simply, "just like last night"

He never said another word, just pushed her until she was in the jeep and shut the door and after a few seconds of deliberation yanked off the door handle with all his strength before throwing himself back into the drivers side, discarding the handle to the back seat.

"Kidnapping your ex girlfriend and locking her in against her own will, _wow_ , talk about psycho" she drawled out, trying the inside handle that wouldn't work, her door completely shut.

"We both know you could get out if you wanted, just like how you could've escaped jail last night, I'm not stupid Kayla" he said in a hard voice, starting up the engine again, "you're stronger now than you were before"

"I had fun company last night" no doubt just to get under his skin, "now not so much"

He gritted his teeth but never responded to the little dig, accelerating from the parking lot and straight onto the road, his hands clenching and unclenching from the steering wheel as he tried to regulate his breathing, forcing himself to calm down. He just _had_ to stay calm, that was all.

"Why Isaac?" He asked, keeping his gaze focused on the road ahead.

"Why not Isaac?" She shot back, shrugging a single shoulder, "he was upset, I stopped him being upset"

Although he was still mad at them he frowned a little in concern, twisting around to look at her, "why was he upset?"

"Something about the anniversary of his moms death, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention" she dismissed, "it's not like I set out to deliberately fuck him"

"That doesn't make it better"

"I don't care" she grumbled, "I'm not gonna justify myself to you Stiles, I'm a free woman and I'll do what I want, why is that so hard for you to understand?"

"Because I'm in love with you, isn't that clear yet?"

She frowned critically, "I thought you hated me?"

"You can hate and love someone at the same time" he explained, "but if you keep doing this, keep going this way then the hate is going to win out"

She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest and glanced out the passenger window, "good" was all she said before slyly glancing back over to him, "what happened to your hand? Did you punch Isaac?"

He looked down to see what she was talking about and saw his knuckles a little bruised and bloody, not entirely sure if it belonged to him or Isaac but just wiped it off on his slacks anyway, going back to clench his hands around the steering wheel.

"I punched Isaac" he confirmed, "he deserves it"

"Why? It's not like he did anything - he just sat there and let me do all the hard work. Poor baby is inexperienced"

"It's not about how much work he put into the screw, for the _love of God"_ he muttered, "stop being so damn _dense_ Kayla, it doesn't suit you"

She rolled her eyes, "whatever"

"No, not _whatever"_ he sped up a little, his foot inching down on the pedal until he was hitting seventy, "we're going to talk about this"

"Why?" She questioned, "you wanting to hear all the gory details?"

"No, I want to try to understand and you at least owe me the that. You owe me the truth. No more games Kayla"

She sighed but gave in, "fine. Have at it" she waved her hand out at him, "but make it quick, I have a hair appointment at ten"

He just looked at her in exasperation, "a hair appointment?"

"Yes Stiles, a _hair appointment_ at the _hairdressers_ " she said slowly as if he were stupid, "you know, the place people go to get their _hair_ cut?"

"Funny" he deadpanned, "why do you need to go there?"

"I was buried for two months, my hair's a little dry" she smirked, "plus I know it's a myth that hair grows after you're dead but I could've sworn it was never this long before" she shrugged, glancing down at her hair that easily reached the middle of her stomach.

He glanced back at the road, blowing out a long breath before he began the interrogation, "before... Before you died, did a part of you like Isaac?"

"What?" She frowned like it was the most stupidest question in the world, "of course not, you know that"

"Well forgive me for second guessing when I just find out you slept with him"

" _Exactly_ " she exclaimed, "I fucked him, we didn't go on a dinner date" rolling her eyes at his ridiculous questions, "understand this Stiles - sex is a means to an end, that's it. No attraction needed. All I'm interested in is the ending"

"Out of everyone, why him?" He demanded, "why my friend?"

"I..." She paused, seemingly lost for words as she gaped at him, "I don't know"

"You-you don't _know?"_ He exclaimed, "so, what? You just _fell_ on his dick did you?"

"No, I climbed on" she corrected with a snarky tone, "and then I rode it, just like the way I used to do to you until he finished in me and then I got dressed and fell asleep, that's it. No touchy feely crap. No cute make out sessions. No lingering touches. Just a simple meaningless messy screw"

"Well it certainly wasn't meaningless to him"

"That's his problem, not mine" she dismissed, "maybe loosing his v-card was a special moment for him, I did work extra hard to make him feel really good until his eyes were rolling back into his head"

"You're going to regret all this" he claimed, "as soon as you're back to normal it's going to eat you up inside"

"It's just sex" but it sounded more like she was trying to convince herself than him.

"Then why call Isaac by my name?"

She whipped around to stare at him, "I did no such thing"

"He wouldn't have the guts to lie to me, not after this" he whispered, "so cmon Kayla, try and dig yourself out of this one"

She seemed speechless at his harsh tone, slight panic in her gaze.

" _Well?"_ He shouted, " _ **answer me"**_

" _Fuck you!"_

"You wish, apparently" he mocked, "just answer the _damn_ question"

"If you think you're gonna hear me confess my undying love to you then think again. So what, I said your name, it means jack shit" she denied, "maybe I'm just used to fucking you, we did screw a lot"

"Don't try that" he warned, "for _once_ just be honest with me"

"I am, you just don't like what you hear, can't accept that I can't love you so thanks for the lift but I would rather walk"

He just gritted his teeth, speeding up until he hit eighty.

"Stiles... Stop the jeep" she warned, "I _mean_ it"

"Make me" he challenged.

He saw from the corner of his eye Kayla clenching her jaw, her eyes flaring with anger, "stop the _damn jeep Stiles"_

"No" not backing down, "I'm not done talking"

"Well I am" she folded her arms stubbornly.

"Through all of this I stuck by you - you sleep around with a bunch of strangers I give you another chance, you kill God knows who and I defend you, why the hell are you acting like this?" He slammed his open palms against the steering wheel before having to grab it as the jeep jolted, "I offer to help you and you shove it back in my face!"

" _I can't change who I am"_

" _Yes you can"_ he argued, "you just enjoy being a stone cold _bitch"_

"You're right, maybe I do. There's your answer, now stop the jeep"

He ignored her, continuing on down the windy road, "I'm fed up of defending you and forgiving you for all the terrible things you do - I get it, where you were, with him, it must've been awful but-"

"You have _no idea"_ she interrupted darkly, "and don't pretend to understand"

"But I do. I understand. He messed me up too"

She scoffed, "for what, a few weeks?" She clapped sarcastically, "wow, _well done"_

"It wasn't just _'a few weeks'"_ he snapped, "it was watching every bad thing he did and feeling useless, feeling utterly _weak_ , knowing that Allison's death was my fault, all those people at the hospital, Aiden, _you_. You're like this because of me and I feel so much guilt and pain over that but you know what? I own it, because that's what makes me _human_. I own it and I deal with it and I think that if you gave yourself a chance, you could do the same"

"I thought that too, once" she murmured.

"And you can believe in that again just... Just give yourself a chance to feel"

She stayed silent, staring out the window before finally glancing at him and, to his surprise, she looked near tears, "I've got nothing left if I do. My mom's dead, I've turned my friends against me and I've made you hate me. There's no point"

He slammed on the breaks so the jeep skidded along the road before finally stopping, the tires leaving a stream of smoke along the tarred road.

"Hey, you'll always have me" he said quietly, his voice soft, quite the contrast to how bitter and angry it was before, "one way or another"

"No. I won't" she shook her head, "I slept with your friend and that's something you can't forgive. I know you Stiles, remember?"

"I'm willing to try" he whispered, "because this isn't you. You might not be possessed but I know the nogitsune... I know how he twists people's thoughts, how he breaks them down until there's nothing left. You're broken, that's all"

"No Stiles" she peered across at him, "I was broken before. Now I'm unfixable. That Calavera woman was right, the dead are supposed to stay dead"

"If you stayed dead you would still be with him, the nogitsune. It's a good thing you got a second chance" he implored, "no one deserves to go through what you went through"

"That's the thing, maybe I did deserve it" she said quietly, "I was never a good person Stiles. I tried, I did, and loving you helped but..."

"But what?" He asked, almost offended, "you were _never_ a bad person"

"You're sweet" she mumbled, reaching out to lay her hand over his on the gearstick, "you always saw the best in me"

"And I'll continue to" he vowed, "just... Just let us help. Prove that you'll work for our forgiveness and you'll get it"

"I can't" she withdrew her hand, "I'm sorry" and for the first time since she came back, Stiles heard true sincerity in her voice, "what I've done... No one can come back from that. All those people Stiles..." She trailed off, "I killed, tortured, took away people's free will-" she cocked her head to the side at that, staring right at him, "-I don't want you to love someone like that"

"Then don't make me" he whispered, "let those emotions back in because I know they're in there somewhere"

She inhaled slowly, regulating her breathing, "you're mad"

"Yeah" he said simply, being honest, "I'm mad. In fact I'm pretty pissed. But that doesn't mean I don't understand"

"I never wanted this" she whispered, voice cracking, "I promise. And I know that doesn't mean a lot from me right now but I mean it. I thought I was gonna break long before I did. I think that... That the only thing that kept me going as long as I did was you. If it wasn't for what we had I would've cracked under the pressure long ago"

"What did he do to you?" He whispered, his heart aching, "how did he break you?"

"The physical stuff I could deal with. Pain is just an experience. So when he... When he broke my bones, or carved me up I screamed and cried but it was bearable... But when he got inside my head..." She trailed off, glancing down as her lap, "he would show me you... Or Lydia... Or Derek and Scott d-dying. You all kept dying _right_ in front of me and all I could do was watch. Or seeing Allison - see her _screaming_ at me that I never saved her, that she blames me... Get to hold Mia, hush her cries, see what a beautiful little girl she would've grown up to be before he killed her... Kept making me lose our baby _again_ and _again_ and _again_ , hundreds of times over... He broke me by breaking my heart"

"Kaylz..." And he felt his stomach churn, his eyes stinging with burning hot tears, "I... I am so sorry" and he may not like what she had become but he understood, he knew what it was like to have the darkness inside you.

"You all just kept _dying_ , _screaming_ for my help and I-I couldn't save you, I couldn't save any of you" she cried, "and it was _all my fault"_

"Hey. No, no, no, hey-" he reached out, taking ahold of her hands in his warm grip, "-what you saw wasn't real. We're all here, we're _alive"_

"It felt so real" she admitted and he reached up, wiping away a stray tear from her cheek, "everything felt so _real_ Stiles"

"It's okay, you're going to be okay" he whispered, cupping her cheeks in his hands, "see? You're feeling... You're letting it in"

"It-it hurts" she admitted through choked gasps, reaching up to clutch her chest, "S-Stiles it hurts"

He glanced down in worry but there was nothing there, no bruising, no blood just her accelerated breathing pace and nail marks left indented in her skin at how hard she was clawing at her chest, her tearful wide eyes meeting his gaze.

"Kaylz, what hurts?" He asked desperately, all his anger disappearing in those moments, "what's hurting?"

She broke out into fresh sobs, openly crying as she held her chest, "I-It hurts s-so _b-bad"_

He panicked, his gut churning in worry as he scraped her hair back from her face, his mind whirling as he tried to put all the pieces together until it finally clicked as she choked back some more air, her cheeks wet with tears.

Emotions.

She was _feeling_ , but in doing so she felt guilt, terror, and pain that she had repressed only now she was experiencing that all at once, suffocating her.

"Oh god... Okay, okay-" he mumbled to himself, wincing as she continued to let out these loud broken sobs, "it's alright baby, it's gonna be okay" he vowed, "just let it out, it's okay, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere"

"I-I k-killed-Stiles I-I... Isaac an-and h-hurt-people-b-blood-" she wasn't making any sense, peering across at him desperately, "m-murderer"

"No, no, hey, you're not, look at me" he leaned forward, pressing his forehead against hers, "I'm right here with you, you're going to be okay"

"N-n-no I h-hurt-s-slept... You s-said... Hate-"

"Shhhh, it's alright" he hushed, "I love you, that'll never change"

She still wasn't breathing properly, sobbing until her throat went dry and her eyes turned bloodshot so he just kicked his door open, helping her over the seats and caught her as she practically fell from the jeep, clinging to the front of his shirt.

"S-Stiles it h-hurts.. I-It h-hurts so b-b-bad" she screamed in exhaustion, the tears soaking his shirt, "p-please make it s-stop"

He had never heard her this desperate before, how painfully raw her voice was - this was no act. It was real, he saw it written all over her expression. How fast the tears came, the broken and guilty expression that clung to her face, how her eyes were wide and wild, totally overloaded with emotion it was hard to pinpoint exactly what she was feeling - sadness, fear, guilt, terror, anguish, maybe all and more, the way her chest rose and fell in an effort to get some air into her burning lungs.

"I've got you, I've got you" he soothed, blinking back the tears, lowering them both to the Tarmac and sitting her up against the jeep, "breathe with me baby, okay? Just like how you used to do with me"

But she never responded to his words, maybe she never heard them, couldn't process them, just continued to choke out these broken sobs that completely shredded his heart into little pieces - last time she cried like this was when they lost their baby, and even then it was pretty tame compared to now.

"I-I can't b-b-breathe-"

"Right here Kaylz, feel that" he urged, cupping her hand and placing it across his chest, exactly the way she used to do with his hand against hers, letting her feel his thundering heartbeat, "remember? Just breathe, in and out slowly, it's okay, everything's okay-"

He couldn't even hear himself over her crying, trying to break through the devastation she was suddenly feeling after so long of feeling nothing at all, all the bad things she had done eating away at her consciousness as she grabbed handfuls of her hair and _screamed_ out this agonising wail of terror before coughing, stomach churning, dry heaving on the Tarmac.

"Kaylz..." Stiles whispered, rubbing her back and blinking back his own tears, "breathe Kay, you _have_ to breathe"

But she couldn't catch her breath, this agony, this _guilt_ compressing on her chest left her hopeless, her lungs aching for air as her crying dissolved into breathless gasps, clinging ahold of Stiles' legs, clawing in desperation.

He wanted this - he wanted her to feel because then it would really be Kayla back but maybe that was selfish of him. She had said that if he continued persisting, continued trying to find the old Kayla when she long gone that he would be responsible for her breaking and crumbling into nothing and now it was happening in front of his eyes.

She went from feeling nothing at all, to everything at once and it was _**killing**_ her.

He had a choice to make, and not an easy one. He could either love her and let her go, accept her decision to be what she wanted to be or love her and make it for her, taking away her choice so she was left with the crushing guilt forever. Either way he still lost her, he just had to decide what Kayla he could live with.

The heartless one who partied it up, took charge and had fun.

Or the one with too much heart that was broken beyond repair, living the rest of her life without her sanity.

"Kaylz... Look at me" he whispered, holding her close and tilting her chin up, meeting her devastated green eyes as she tried to breathe, shaking under the intensity of so many emotions, "I need you to know that I love you, no matter what you've done and will do and I know you love me too. I don't need to hear it or for you to even show me because I _know_ it's the truth, I know that you'll always love me even if you don't know it yourself and because of that I... I need you to turn it off"

It broke his heart to say, it did, but he couldn't bear the thought of her living in agony for the rest of her life, her sanity on the rocks, locked up in eichen house - not when she got a second chance.

"I need you to turn your emotions off, right now" and she was gasping back small breaths, hunching over in emotional pain that seized her body, "if you love me turn them off and stop feeling before it kills you, _please_ Kaylz" he begged, "turn them off"

She grabbed his shirt in her tight fists, holding back her sobs as her cheeks flushed, lack of oxygen making her eyes slightly glazed over, "S-Sti-Stil... D-Don't h-h-ha..t-te... Z-Zac..." Her words not even words, "I... I- s-sorry... l-lo-love y-y-y-you-"

"I know" he whispered, leaning down to kiss her sweaty forehead, letting his lips linger over her damp skin, "turn them off... Turn them off..."

He didn't know if he was doing the right thing, hell he didn't know if there was even was a right way but all he knew was he needed her alive because he couldn't face her dying in his arms again, even if she reverted back to how she was before. He loved her enough to want her alive, he just wasn't strong enough to let her go just yet.

Her shaking body slowly stilled, her broken sobs easing as he screwed his face up in grief, holding her just that little bit tighter while he still could, pressing the softest of kisses to her forehead until she sniffed, coughing to clear her dry throat and pulled back slowly and in that moment it felt like he had lost her all over again.

Did he make the right decision? Or was it selfish? Did he just miss his one and only chance to get her back? Would he regret this for the rest of his life? How much more blood would be on his hands because of this? Was letting her feel what the real Kayla would want? He didn't know. He just needed her alive, because if she was then there was still hope.

She squirmed from his grip, jolting her arms from his hands and glanced up, those eyes that were once full of remorse and emotion were, if possible, even colder than before, full of fury.

And all his hope went out the window.

 **A/N) I cannot wait to write snarky Kayla working with the lack against the deadpool, especially because she feels a little and it's gonna be hella fun and lighthearted haha had some stayla there ha, they had a moment yay anyways hope you all like, I've legit put off revising for an exam tomorrow to write this for y'all (got my priorities straight) and omg emotion filled Kayla said she loves him AHHH and sorry for them arguing had to be done, haha hope you all like and see you all soon xxx and please please review**


	14. Chapter 14 - Achilles heel

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any shape or form :( anyways, a massive as thankful shoutout to my lovely reviewers including Phantom, Amandalucia, x XRoweenaJAugistineX x (lol sorry if that was a typo, iPad always messes up stuff ha), jocelynstilinski, Tazytara, TheMysteriousPerson -0-'-0, linda96, Sara, guest, EllieDragon, SS (your detailed insight is fabulous and great, thank you :) ), jessicamessica, guest, guest and Jocie413 you're all fab, hope you enjoy this next update xxx**

 **also to answer guests questions, although Scott is an alpha and can take away memories if taught, he can't due to the sheer mass of memories Kayla has with ten nogitusne - remember, it was years, centuries and it's near impossible to delete all those experiences over so much time - it'll be explained more detailed in upcoming chapters but I hope it helped xxx**

He fell back on his ass on the tarmac in exhaustion, his knees raised in front of him as he lifted a palm to wipe away the excess sweat on his forehead, regret seizing his chest.

He really, really, _really_ shouldn't have done that.

"You made me switch them off – why?" she questioned in a hard voice and although her tone was sharp, she seemed curious if not a little overwhelmed, the tears drying on her cheeks.

He shrugged, fingers curling into the road, "you uh… you were hurting" he replied simply, sniffing loudly, "I don't like seeing you in pain"

She frowned, tucking some damp hair behind her ear, "it was like a wall inside my mind collapsed and everything started spilling through. A few more seconds and I wouldn't have been strong enough to patch it back up"

He gulped, finally building up enough courage to meet her gaze, "I'm uh… I'm sorry"

"For what?" she asked, "making me feel that in the first place, or asking me to turn them off?"

"Both" he whispered, scrubbing at his wet eyes and letting out a frustrated groan, placing his head in his palms that rested on his knees, "I just… I don't know what to do anymore"

Because he was more than confused, he was completely _mind boggled._ If he helped her to feel, to own up to everything she had done, then she would be in agony, feeling guilt for the rest of her life but if he left her the way she was, how was that any better? What he did just moments ago was selfish and he acted prematurely, not even taking into consideration what the real Kayla would want because he got lost in wanting to stop her tears and to make her feel better, not thinking of the consequences.

"I do" and he sniffed again, lifting his head and cocking a brow, "get up, sort yourself out and go to school, live your life" she said simply, "because god knows, I didn't die for you to continue down this self-destructive path you're determined to go down" she pushed herself to her feet, reaching out with her hand, "come on"

He was shocked into submission, staring tearfully at her outstretched hand.

"This is normally the part where you take it" she said matter of factly, shaking her hand again, "c'mon Stiles, don't make me drag you up"

He shuddered out a shaky breath, accepting her warm grip and was jolted somewhat softly to his feet, stumbling a little as he tried to get his bearings, his head still swimming with sadness.

"… T-Thanks"

She let go of his hand, dusting off the back of her shorts, "you have a shot at a good life, take it" she advised, "don't get dragged down into my mess just… be a normal teenager. Have fun. Go on dates. Solve crimes. Don't taint yourself with my darkness"

"It lives inside me too, y'know" he murmured, "I've felt it, that darkness ever since that damn nogitsune and it'll never completely go away. I'm not a good guy"

"There's a difference between what you think and what you are – your guilt makes you believe that, but it's not the truth" she said softly before hardening her look as she realised she was getting soft, "so get going, you're going to be late"

But he heard that softness in her voice, how she meant what she said and he reached out to grab her wrist, stopping her from moving.

"What you said… before…"

"I was confused" she jumped in, shrugging a single shoulder, "emotion overload. It meant nothing"

He deflated a little, two of his fingers clenching that little bit harder around the inside of her wrist, "you said you loved me"

"… Like I said – emotion overload" she repeated calmly, "I was remembering what we had before, what I felt for you then, it didn't mean anything. Sorry" she shook off his grasp, cocking her head to the side, "have a nice life Stiles"

Then she left him just standing there, the only comfort being that familiar feeling of her pulse on his fingertips and how it skipped a beat. She may have convinced herself he was nothing more than an old fling but after this it would take a lot more for him to be put off.

* * *

Isaac took one glance at the picnic bench his friends were seated around and just knew he wasn't welcome. It was Scott's disappointed glance, Lydia's half angry-half sympathetic stare, Kira's nervous look, Malia's constant frown as she stared him out and Stiles' furious expression that twisted his features.

Yup, _definitely_ not welcome.

So with a resound sigh he threw his food tray down on a spare table, plonking himself down and picked away at his food as he felt his pack's stare on the side of his head but kept his head down in shame. He messed up, and in doing so he may have lost the only friends he ever had.

"I think it's time we talked" and he blinked against the bright sun assaulting his vision until a figure blocked out the light, "don't you?"

A blossom of guilt welled in his chest as Paige cocked a brow before sitting opposite him on the table, her hands clenched tightly around her own tray.

"Yeah. You deserve the truth" he agreed, not having the stomach for his food so pushed it away to the side, "can I just say how sor-"

"No, me first" she cut him off, crossing her arms over her chest and resting them on the picnic bench, "I've thought long and hard about this for the past two days and I've decided to… to forgive you"

He raised his eyebrows in shock, "you're forgiving me?"

"I know I haven't known about all this supernatural crap for that long, but I'm not stupid. Kayla's a seductress right? That's what they do – seduce people into kissing them without any regard for others feelings. And anyway… It was just a kiss" Paige summarised, "a kiss that shouldn't have happened but it did and there's nothing the two of us can do to change that. I like you enough to want to move past this – on one condition"

She thought it was only a kiss… _oh god_ … his guilt increased tenfold, his look saddening.

"Paige, I really need to tell you som-"

"On the condition you don't speak to ever again" and he frowned at that request, "whatever you feel for her can stop but only if you don't have any contact with her. Being friends with her… it's making you confused" she reached forward to take his clammy hand, "don't you think being apart will do you good? Give you some perspective?"

"… You want me to choose you over my best friend?" he asked for clarification, frowning as he said it.

"It's selfish, I know" she agreed sadly, "but that's my own stupid insecurities. I went through the same thing with Harry – loved him but his heart belonged to someone else" she dropped her gaze, shaking her head as she did so, "but I really like you and this is the only thing I can think of to make us work"

"If people have to force themselves to work, then maybe they're better off apart" he whispered, "I… I can't just dump my best friend like that, even now"

She looked up, a calculating look plastered across her face, "what do you mean 'even now'?"

She was still gripping his hand and, even though it felt nice, he knew she would soon be dropping it once he told her the truth. How could he mess up this bad in the space of a few days?

"I… uh…"

"Whatever it is, can we sort it out" she said softly, "I shouldn't have suggested to stop being friends with her, good guys don't do that and you're a good guy. Please just… give us another chance"

"Paige" he interrupted softly, "I… I slept with her" he admitted quietly, the overwhelming silence he got in response was deafening to him, "I'm sorry"

And he was – god, he was so damn _sorry_.

She drew back, dropping his hand and let her expression twist up into hurt and confusion, "what? What did you say?"

He bit the inside of his lip as he tried to keep his composure, his leg bouncing up and down nervously under the picnic bench, "Kayla… we… I…" he dipped his head, shame filling his features, "we had sex last night. It meant nothing but-but it still happened" he explained, "I'm sorry"

He couldn't bear to look at her but forced himself to, it was the decent thing to do after all, except when he did he saw her starting to cry silent tears and it tore his heart apart.

They had a good thing going and he ruined it because of his fucked up feelings.

"Why?" she asked brokenly, "was I not… was I not good enough for you?"

"It was a mistake" he reiterated, "and as soon as it happened I regretted it – you're a good person Paige, you deserve someone better than me" he explained slowly, "someone that can be with you without… without sleeping with someone else"

"You're an _ass_ " she spoke out, "out of everyone… it just _had_ to be her, didn't it?"

He never replied, he couldn't, too ashamed and broken to say anything more on the matter but he felt the sharp smack she gave him across the cheek, enough to leave a red welt on his skin – first Stiles, now Paige. He was really getting his karma.

"And to think I actually started to love you" she hissed angrily, _"go to hell Isaac_ " and with that she grabbed her bottle of orange juice and threw it at him, the sour liquid splashing his face and soaking his tee before throwing the empty bottle so it hit his forehead before leaving him in the dust, tens of curious pairs of eyes watching the scene unfold.

He spat out a mouthful of juice, wiping at his face and sighed deeply, hating himself even more because even though he knew it was the right thing to do to tell the truth, it didn't make the after effects any easier.

"Here" a bunch of tissues got thrust in front of his face, "clean yourself up, you look ridiculous"

He took them but glanced up at the familiar voice, frowning as he watched Kayla sit down opposite him in the seat Paige was in not thirty seconds ago, acting so casual about, well, _everything_ , he was amazed.

"I'm guessing you told her about our little boning session – rash move" she explained, "now you're _definitely_ not gonna get any from her"

"What are you doing here?" he asked in exhaustion, "don't you have more lives to ruin?"

She smirked, laying her arms on the table, her eyes twinkling, "right now, being your only friend" and ow, that hurt, "poor Isaac, friendless again"

"I wonder why" he sent her a brief glare as he wiped at his face with the tissues.

"Blame me all you want if it makes you feel better, I don't mind" she shrugged, "but just remember… it was your choice to fuck me the way you did and plus it was fun, wasn't it?"

He never replied, just dropped the wet tissues to the picnic table and sighed heavily, sending her an unamused stare.

She rolled her eyes but continued to smirk, "relax, it was just a one time thing. I prefer my meat a little more experienced so forget about it, moving on-" she clapped her hands together, "-what do you think of the new hair-do? A little too dramatic or…?"

It was then he realised her long chestnut coloured locks had been cut until they reached just below her shoulders, the once natural colour now streaked through with dark blonde, light enough to make a difference but not too light that it glowed against her tan skin and he gulped, his foot bouncing up and down again under the table.

"It's… it's nice"

She smirked knowingly, "thanks" before slyly glancing to the side to watch the pack just a few tables over, watching them curiously, "I think we have an audience"

"I've been out-casted and you've turned semi-evil, of course we have an audience" he retaliated, "so maybe it's better if you just left before Stiles decides to punch me into unconsciousness again"

"Aw, scared of the human?" She teased, "and relax, he won't come over, not when we're just talking" she reassured, "I think even jealous Stiles has some self control"

"I wouldn't be so sure" he murmured, looking over quickly to meet Stiles' angry gaze and subconsciously rubbed at his nose that not a few hours ago was broken and bleeding.

"Did you let him get one up on you, or did he match your strength?"

"A bit of both I think" he whispered, more to himself than anyone else and swivelled back around to look at Kayla, "ever since the nogitsune he's... Different"

"I noticed that too" she agreed, nodding a little, "Loverboy grew a backbone"

"It's more than that" he insisted, "it's like... It's like losing you, watching all that happen, it changed him. He's darker somehow"

"And is that someone you're scared of?"

"No, but wary? Yes" he admitted.

"Cute" she deadpanned, "maybe getting possessed left some after effects"

Isaacs eyes darkened, "I think you're right"

"I was joking" she chuckled, "relax, Stiles is just Stiles. Today wouldn't have been the first time he punched you"

"Don't remind me"

She laughed, placing her elbows on the table and putting her chin in her hand, "so how's little Paige coping with everything? She did _not_ look happy"

Momentarily, he was winded at Paige's name, pushing down his sadness and met Kayla's curious gaze, "she hates me, in fact I think the only person she may hate more is you"

"Ooooh I'm shaking in my boots" she chuckled, "I'll watch out incase she attacks me with her lip liner"

"Kayla, I'm serious" he insisted, "we really hurt her"

"And I should care why?" She asked, "and anyway, she broke up with you and _then_ we had sex - you never cheated on her so I don't know why she and Stiles are getting so pissy about it"

"Because they care" Isaac said sadly, "and we broke their trust"

"Boo-fucking-hoo, cry me a river" she rolled her eyes, "we were having a bit of fun, it's not illegal. Plus, you seriously needed cheering up and I'm sure I made you _very very_ happy"

"Kayla..."

"What?" She smirked, "just sayin' - it was a very _explosive_ orgasm on your part"

He just had to own up to what they did and accept it, which he was trying to do, pushing his uncomfortableness and guilt to one side, especially knowing that Scott could probably hear every word they were saying from twenty feet away.

"Okay, fine, you want me to admit it? It was fun, it was, and it felt amazing"

She nodded in approval, "I already know how great I am in bed but please do carry on"

"But it's not going to happen again, it can't. Not when I know, deep down, you love Stiles"

She blew out a long breath, cocking her head to the side, "well this conversation went from 10 to 0 _real_ quick" rolling her eyes, "go back to complimenting our strenuous sex session, I was much more invested in that"

He sighed heavily, keeping his voice lowered as he leant forward a little, "I may not be the most experienced or in the know as you said but... But please tell me you're on the pill or something?"

"Why do you care if I am or not?"

"Uh... Because we had unprotected sex" he answered obviously.

"Uh huh" she nodded, "makes it ten times more hotter, wouldn't you agree?"

"Kayla, c'mon, don't play games with me" he pretty much pleaded, "you know why having unprotected sex is bad"

"Because it requires a cleanup?" She guessed, pouting a little as she tilted her head to the side in faux obliviation.

"Hale" he said, even more panicked than before and she chuckled.

"Relax, I'm glad you have faith in your swimmers on their first cross country road trip but there's no need to look at me like that"

"So are you on the pill or not?"

"No" and he paled, "I've got an IUD stuck up my hoo-ha, that enough detail for you or are you wanting a close up?"

"OH thank god" he breathed out a sigh of relief, sagging over a little.

"Yup, no daddy Isaac yet" she chuckled, "chill. I got that sorted on my way back to the US after our _vacation_ to Mexico so you're in the clear. Plus, even if I got preggers what's the chance you would be the dad anyway? Probably very slim seeming how my sexual partners have increased in number as of late"

"Uh... Is this supposed to make me feel better?"

"Yes" she nodded, "doesnt it?"

"... A little" he admitted, "so it's all forgotten about, right?"

"Sure, whatever you wish" she agreed, "but if you get bored, hit me up - I'm an excellent teacher"

"You were a better friend" he whispered, "maybe we can be that again, one day"

"We'll see" she chuckled, "but, heads up, it's not me you should be sucking up to" and with that she glanced to the side to see the pack staring between them, "they have morals and, bleh, emotions, they're the ones acting butt hurt. See ya around Lahey"

"Hale, wait" he called out, watching as she turned back around, the sun dazzling off her lighter shorter hair and he didn't even realise the slight upturn of his lips, "uh... Do you want to sit and have lunch with me?"

"Cute offer, but I've already got a lunch date. Except technically it won't be lunch I'll be eating. Told you Savannah Jenkins swung both ways" she smirked, "chow" before swaying away, all legs and hips with an air of confidence that had many people gawking as she went and he just watched her go, sighing loudly as he was left by himself again, his tee still soaked and stained with juice feeling Stiles' glare on the side of his head.

He had really messed up this time.

* * *

"Not to ease drop or anything but I totally agree with the chloroform idea" she appeared from around the bus after walking back from her little hook up session with savannah-fine ass-Jenkins, chuckling as each one of the pack jumped (well, apart from Isaac considering he still felt unwelcome and wasn't here), "one of the best suggestions you've had Loverboy"

"We're not going to chloroform him" Scott insisted before looking over at her warily, "uh... Is there something we can help you with?"

"No, but there's something I can do for you" she smiled, "that Liam kid, you need him at the lakehouse?"

"Yes..." Lydia frowned, clocking onto what she was about to suggest.

"If you wanted I could get him there for you" she shrugged, "we all know I have a specific set of talents for these situations and I'll even promise not to sleep with him, he's a little young for me anyway"

"You're... You're wanting to help us?" Stiles questioned, his face lighting up a little.

"Wanting is pushing it a little" she replied, "let's just say I'm willing to offer a hand"

"Why?" Malia's brows furrowed, still looking pissed off at her.

"I'm bored" she replied simply.

"You're bored?"

"Well this _is_ Beacon Hills" she rolled her eyes, "not exactly some hot shot city like L.A is it?"

"Maybe you should go there then" Malia mumbled and Kayla just smiled.

"Already planning it" she smirked, "except I'm thinking more Amsterdam. Party central"

"You're wanting to leave Beacon Hills?" Stiles stepped forward, wringing his hands together, "like, permanently?"

"Of course" she nodded, "there's nothing left for me here anyway. In fact I never should've come back. As soon as Kate is dead I'm outta here" and watched his expression fall, "so are you wanting my help or not?"

"Can we trust you?" Kira asked nervously.

"You stuck a sword through my chest, it should be me asking you that" she smirked, "but yes, I'll be your ally for now. And to show you how serious I am I even promise to _try_ and not kill anyone" she added, "I know what your morals are like"

"Okay wait, lets _backtrack_ for a second here" Stiles jumped in, his eyes wide and wild, "you're going to high tail it out of Beacon Hills? As in leave, for good? End of story?"

"...Yes..." She said slowly, "it's better for everyone that way"

"it's not better for me" he insisted, "Kaylz-"

"Yes it is" she nodded, "and one day you'll agree with me. But chill, I'm not leaving until I'm standing over Kate's cold dead body. So do we have a deal?" She asked, "I'll get the kid werewolf to the lakehouse?"

Scott looked a little nervous but nodded all the same, "okay... Okay we'll give you a chance"

"Yippy" she muttered sarcastically, "So excuse me, gotta go work my magic" she winked, spinning around and starting to walk away but Stiles just sent a panicked look to his friends before jogging after her, walking alongside her purposeful strides.

"You don't have to leave Beacon Hills" he told her, "I mean, it's your home"

"Oh please Stiles, don't go and get all sentimental on me" she smirked, "me leaving means you finally get over me and maybe even get a chance to move on. Plus, Amsterdam is supposed to be a helluva fun place and god knows I need some fun"

"Amsterdam doesn't have me there though" he whispered, "it just has a bunch of high, sexed up strangers"

"Exactly" she sent him a wink, "they do fab weed over there too"

"... You can't just go" he mumbled, "I know we're not... Not _together_ , and I get that, but I'm just starting to get over your death, don't up and leave so soon"

"Compelling argument" she said sarcastically, "and how exactly does that benefit anyone but you?"

He was stunned into silence, walking by her side with nothing to say. He got that it may be better for them all if she wasn't around, but he couldn't have that on his conscience. What he did this morning still played on his mind, how he convinced her to switch her emotions back off without thought. He was not determined more than ever to get the old Kayla back, not expecting anything back in return but just knowing she couldn't go on like this. It would just cause her more pain in the long run.

"Exactly what I thought" she laughed, "anyways, changing subjects - why haven't you and Isaac made up yet?"

His back stiffened as he walked, involuntarily clenching his fists at his sides, "Isaac and I will _never_ make up"

" _Tad_ dramatic there Loverboy" she grinned, "he even said to me that it would never happen again, just a one time thing"

"One time too many" he said through gritted teeth, "and can we please not talk about him anymore?"

"Oh, it's 'him' now is it?" She smirked, "jeez Stiles, you really need to loosen up"

"He betrayed my trust" he explained, "so I can be pissed if I want to be pissed"

"Whatever" she mumbled as they both made their way up the front concrete steps, "but he's lonely"

"And I should care why?" He shot back, "or better yet - why do you?" He asked suspisciously, "for someone with no emotions you sure seem to be caring a lot about him right now"

"Careful Stiles" she warned playfully, "your jealous streak is showing"

He took ahold of her hand before she could waltz down the corridor, pulling her into his side, "right now you may be okay with all these meaningless hookups and flings, you might even be fine with not even knowing their names until you're on top of them, but it'll _never_ be what we had" he spoke truthfully, keeping his voice lowered, "the rush you get won't last. It'll _pale_ in comparison to what we shared. How long did Isaac satisfy you for?" He questioned, "or did you feel empty straight after?"

She watched his lips as he spoke, not sounding angry just... Honest. Like he _honestly_ believed the words he was saying and it was hard to disagree with them because he was dead right. She went around hooking up with those people to get that high, knowing it would only last for a few seconds compared to before that feeling with Stiles would always stay with her constantly. Maybe he would always be her soft spot, even now.

She remembered the last time they got close in that way, all the way back in Eichen house all those months ago. She was injured, he was full of anxiety and worry about the nogitsune taking over at any given moment but somehow it was still perfect.

Oh god, did she just think that? Bleh. Disgusting. But it was true. The difference between then and now was astonishing. Whether it be Isaac, or Savannah, or whoever else caught her eye, it was rushed and quick and totally lacked that connection - it was just sex. Nothing else.

So when she had sex with Isaac, for example, she found a part of herself _craving_ that intimacy that just wasn't there. Sex now was all about the ending, the feeling it gave her for those few seconds, and not about the build up, the words, the after effects. And a part of her did miss that.

 _She threaded her fingers through Isaac's thick hair, tugging him forward as he kissed her neck, experimenting by dragging his tongue across her skin, making patterns along the flushed skin as she moaned at the feeling, speeding up her hips and was rewarded by a loud groan by the boy underneath her, his hands dragging up her back as he tried to remove her top._

 _So she let him, pulling back as he tugged the material up over her head and discarded it to one side, his eyes dropping from her gaze to melt into her chest, reaching out to run his fingertips along the outline of her bra before dipping his head and pressing a few light kisses to the exposed fleshy skin of her breasts, his warm tongue gently stroking the bare skin and she groaned to herself, dropping her hips back down against his to grind._

 _"More" she whispered, hoping he would get the hint which he seemed to just a couple of seconds later, lifting a hand to pull down one of the cups of her bra, leaving her exposed to him as he wrapped his mouth around one of her nipples, sucking it slowly into his mouth before biting down, sending sparks of electricity surging through her body._

 _"That's it" she whispered some praise, circling her hips as she worked him inside her, "good boy, oh god..."_

 _He pulled her closer, his free hand worming it's way under the other cup of her bra, squeezing her breast as his tongue rolled eagerly around her pinched nipple, teeth biting even harder which just made her want more frenzied, hips speeding up in desperation before she started bouncing up and down, dropping her hands to cling to his shoulders and curl her nails into the flesh as he tried to jolt his hips up to meet hers but it was ill timed and sloppy._

 _"S-Stop" she instructed breathlessly, "timing... Off..." She gasped, holding him against the wall, clenching her muscles as she slid up and down his length, "let me... Hard work..."_

 _He was exhausted but nodded, staying still as he grabbed her hips tightly and helped lift her up and down, glistening wet walls clenching around his length before she started swivelling her hips, watching his eyes roll back into his head before going back to thrusting, burying him deeper and deeper after each time._

And that was how it went - quick, sloppy and a means to an end. That's all her hookups seemed to be these days. No warmth, no affection, just sex. And she was fine with it. Or she thought she was fine with it, at least she was until he brought it up, his gaze smouldering and intense, staring down at her like he saw no one else.

Her stomach tightened a little in want, her bottom lip finding it's way between her teeth as she felt that warmth ignite in her veins.

 _She dragged her nails down his bare back, opening her legs wider so he could settle down comfortably against her body, careful not to rest too much of his weight on her as he hooked his fingers into her shorts, slowly tugging them down her bare legs._

 _And she found herself not even caring they weren't strictly alone, that they were finding comfort in a creepy old basement under some creepy old mental institution because her time, right now, with Stiles, was limited. She didn't know if he would be okay, she didn't even know how much time they had left to just be Kayla and Stiles. She just yearned for a few intimate, blissful moments in his company._

 _She kicked away the shorts, slipping her fingers into the waistline of his slacks and slowly pushed them off his lean hips, their limbs getting tangled as the pants ended up over the edge of the ratty old yellow sofa._

 _She felt his lips break from hers, gently trailing along her jaw before finding that sweet spot on her neck to suck, her body getting washed in blissful pleasure, shivering in delight at the feel of his warm palms caressing her hips, slowly slipping her underwear down her legs._

 _"I love you" his voice was quiet and rough but she still heard him, automatically tuning into his voice, "God I love you so fricking much..." Lifting his head to rest against hers, fingertips leaving scorch marks along her skin._

 _"I love you too"_

 _His boxer shorts got pushed off his hips as he peeled off her top before cupping her cheek, "say it again"_

 _"I love you" her words came out slow but filled with emotion, gaze not wavering from his._

 _"Again" he said lightly, chocolate brown eyes dropping to watch her lips._

 _"I love you"_

 _"...Again"_

 _"I love you" she tugged him closer, stroking along his cheek and brow bones, admiring the beautiful face staring down at her, "and only you"_

 _The corners of his lips upturned, his heart racing against her chest, "one more time"_

 _She traced the shape of his slightly dry and chapped lips, evening out her breathing before flickering her warm stare to meet his, "I'm in love with you, Stiles Stilisnki" she whispered, her voice hushed but overflowing with emotion, "and I always will be..."_

 _His warm breath fanned over her face as he captured her lips once more in a searing kiss, his hips slowly swivelling forward as she gasped against his mouth, holding his body against hers even closer than before as she couldn't bare the feel of him not being close to her._

 _He pulled out before agonisingly slowly pushing back in to the tight warmth, burying his head into the side of her neck as he whispered those three words she loved to hear._

 _"You're my one..."_

You see, that was the difference between a mindless screw and making love, and those two situations highlighted that perfectly. With Stiles, she was vulnerable. With everyone else, she was just a simple lay.

"No one will ever make me feel the way you do" she whispered before realising her mistake, "the way you did. You'll always be my Achilles heel, emotions or no emotions. But I can't give you what you want. I can't give you Kayla"

"Yes... Yes you can" he insisted, "you're not as far out of reach as I thought"

"I... I'm sorry I had sex with Isaac" she apologised.

He never said anything in response to that, just nodded, "I know, but we can get past that-"

"I'M A _**WHAT?!"**_ Coach's loud shout made them both jump, glancing up to see him step out from his office, his cell against his ear, "I DONATED MY SPERM BY ACCIDENT. THEY WERE NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE PUT TO _USE_ "

Kayla just chucked at that, breaking the awkward tension before stepping away from Stiles, "anyways, I better go seduce that cute freshman, live up to my promises... I'll see you around"

He watched her go, debating whether he should run after her but concluded that he had done enough running for now. For once, he was going to let her come to him which was something, he had a feeling, was definitely going to happen.

 **a/n) yay I updated quickly haha, kinda a filer chapter but it has necessary interactions including Isaac and Malias annoyance plus Paige cameo haha and ofc cute stayla sex scene flashbacks ha that's to make up for the angst you guysssss also, did anyone catch what coach was going on about? I'll give ya a hint... Aunt Jane went to a sperm donar bank... Hahahaha Lol so please please review and I shall catch y'all real soon xxx**


	15. Chapter 15 - Monster

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any way shape or form :( and a massive shoutout to x XRoweenaJAugustineX x, XxxXCherriesXxxX, EllieDragon, zvc56. Guest, phantom, guest, guest, guest, S.S (lol next chapter, shirtless, sweaty and training Stiles ha ), wallflower (aw that's so sweet thank you, so happy you're enjoying it) for reviewing youall rock, hope you like x**

 **Also, it's 4am ive to be up in two hours for uni so this is not proofread, if theres mistakes I'm sorry but I will correct it when I get home tomorrow just wanted to get the chapter out ha :)**

"Liam, right?"

The poor kid jumped about a foot in the air at her voice, swivelling around from his locker as he stared at her with wide eyes, what she presumed was his friend letting out a slight jump at the sudden intrusion.

"Uh… yeah…" He answered, unsure, "have I done something?"

Don't get her wrong, he was definitely cute but more like the kind of cute that was the runt of the litter – this guy was someone she couldn't fathom would cope with being a werewolf.

"Yes" she answered bluntly, letting a smirk cross her face as she leaned sideways on the lockers and caught his stare dipping to between her cleavage that, she had to admit, was definitely worth getting a glimpse of in the low cut tight little red top she was wearing, "peaked my interest"

He gulped, forcefully pulling his gaze back up to meet hers, "um… sorry?"

"I saw you play lacrosse – you're good" she praised, "and it's hard to beat Scott McCall"

Liam frowned suspiciously as she said the name, "look, did he send you here to talk me round or something because I don't want to know-"

"Slow your jets kid" she interrupted, "Scott has nothing to do with this" she lied, "I just came to invite you to a party" a pleased, if not a little playful grin worked its way to her lips, "invite you both" she corrected, her stare sliding to Liam's friend, "and you are?"

"M-Mason" the boy stumbled a little over his words, "and you're sure it's really us you want to invite to a party? You haven't got muddled up with some other people…?"

She rolled her eyes, "look, kiddies, I'm neither dumb nor stupid – free booze, free weed, what more could a couple of freshman want?"

"You for real?" Mason asked, jaw slack.

"It's a one-time offer" she smiled, "be at Lydia Martin's lakehouse by nine. Oh and-" she went to turn around but stopped, glancing back over her shoulder, "-invite all the people you want. The more the merrier"

She smirked as she strolled away, quietly laughing to herself at their gobsmacked expressions and couldn't wait to dump the pack right in it – god knows they needed a little fun these days, the whole squad constantly had long faces and a permanent scowl, they needed to loosen up a little bit. Oh who was she kidding, loosen up by a whole lot. Maybe a party would do them good. And if not then who cares, it would do her good.

"Done" she stopped in front of Scott and Lydia who were watching her from down the corridor, "he'll be there by nine"

"Cutting it a little close don't you think?" Scott wondered, "what if starts to turn before then?"

"Then that's just bad luck for anyone around him" she shrugged, "see? Told you I'd come through"

Scott hesitated but Lydia took over, giving her a small smile, "thank you"

"You might not want to thank me yet" she chuckled, "there's also going to be a party there tonight as well"

" _ **Kayla"**_

* * *

"Stiles, as I live and breathe – long time no see"

"K-Kayleigh?" he spluttered, closing his jeep door and glancing at Scott as they got ready to leave the school, "what-what?"

"Sorry for intruding" she smirked, "my curiosity won out"

She looked just the same as she did all those weeks ago in that ratty old beat down bar, dark hair and eyes shining at him and he flushed when he remembered that, oh crap, he had almost slept with her. Wow, good job Stiles, could this get any weirder?

"You're a hard person to track down Stiles" she smiled, "especially because the name Stiles appears basically nowhere"

"It's uh… it's not my real name, more of a-of a nickname, what are you doing here?"

"You ran out on me when we met, I just wanted to make sure you were alright" she stuck her hands in her pockets, rolling backwards and forwards on the balls of her feet, "so, are you?"

He was flummoxed, still staring at her in shock, "uh… am I what?"

"Alright?" she repeated calmly, "I half expected you to have died of alcohol poisoning" she joked but he was still just staring at her like she had two heads because their past encounter was the last time he expected to ever see her.

"I'm… I'm good" he whispered, shaking his head to clear his thoughts before sending her an awkward smile, "thanks for checking up on me"

She nodded, corners of her mouth upturning, "you don't have to thank me, I totally honed my detective skills" she said, "so, really, it was more for my benefit than yours"

He snorted at her dry humour, relaxing his position a little, "glad I was a good test subject"

"A very good one" she agreed before glancing over at Scott, "sorry, I never properly introduced myself – I'm Kayleigh" she held out her hand, "best friend I assume"

"Uh… yeah" Scott nodded, quizzitively staring between the two in wondering as he shook her hand, "good intuition"

"I do pride myself in observation" she smirked before looking back at Stiles, "and seeming how I came all this way, how about we grab coffee?"

Now that really did throw him, his eyes widening as his cheeks went pink, "C-Coffee? Coffee as in…?"

"As in coffee" she said slowly before smirking, "you know, that bitter tasting liquid people drink to torture themselves?"

Scott's eyes were just as wide, peering over at Stiles like he had suddenly turned blue and that didn't help Stiles' nerves any, his palms getting sweaty.

"C-Coffee uh… um… I do like coffee" he mumbled, lost for words, "just not the hospital kind – it tastes so bad that, ironically, it would probably put you in the hospital which would be very very not good" he rambled, well aware he was rambling and not making any sense but he couldn't stop himself, his brain not having an off switch because _oh my god_ why did it sound like she was asking him on a date?

"I was thinking more than cute café down the road" she smirked, "I don't plan on putting you in the hospital just yet"

"Heh… that's a positive aspect I guess"

"Well how about I leave you two to it" Scott smiled politely, nodding at Kayleigh before turning his back to her, making a face at Stiles before mouthing 'she's totally into you' before stepping away, unable to stop throwing amazed if not surprised stares over his shoulder.

"He seems cool" Kayleigh nodded, "a little socially awkward but in a cute way"

"That's Scott for you" he scratched the back of his neck, his skin starting to heat up, "so you really hunted me down to see if I was okay?"

"Hunted sounds rather primal but sure" she laughed, "I might've only known you for fifteen minutes but I could tell you were hurting and you ran off before I could make sure you weren't going to hang yourself or something – it played on my mind"

He winced, glancing at his converses as he remembered their kisses, the way he pinned her to the wall, how he was seriously considering having sex with her because of the hurt he was feeling and felt guilt swell in his chest, "I'm sorry about bailing like that, douche move"

"A little" she agreed, "but I get it. What happened just escalated – easily done"

" _You kissed her first huh? You mean like that time you got her high and made out with her? Just like how you did then hm? Answer me!"_

" _Yes" Isaac admitted shamefully, "it just… escalated"_

" _Escalated?" he chuckled without humour, "it escalated? No you moron, you just couldn't keep your dick in your pants" he answered simply, "and to think I thought you were my friend" he scoffed, "stupid me"_

Oh how just a simple choice word reminded him of what a sucky, hurtful situation he was in. Kayleigh must've sensed his demeanour change because she cocked her head to the side, frowning a little.

"You good Stiles?"

No.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine" he nodded, looking up and catching a glimpse of Kayla from across the parking lot, leaning against her Lamborghini and if he knew any better he could've sworn she looked a little hurt, watching him intently with jealously spiking through her gaze and he held her stare for a couple of seconds, wishing things were different. Wishing it was her asking him to go for coffee, imagining how simple and amazing things would be if they were normal but he realised that wasn't going to happen. Not yet anyway. Kayla had changed and he was done yapping at her heels to try and get some attention. Maybe, and he meant this in the nicest way possible, once she realised what she had truly lost she would get a wakeup call. Maybe she might see that if she kept acting this way she would really have no one left – just whatever meaningless hook-ups she had to try and find that spark within. Maybe it was time to play the tough love card, despite how badly it hurt him to do so.

He plastered a half smile on his face, breaking away from Kayla's gaze and looked over to Kayleigh, "you know what? Coffee sounds nice" he nodded, "it's the least I can do to thank you. I never said it that night but your talk really helped me. I opened up again"

"It's a date" she smiled and for a second that send waves of panic washing throughout his body, guilt rearing its ugly head. Date? _Date?_ Oh god, what had he gotten himself in? He didn't want to go on any date, not when his heart was still with Kayla, but he had to live his life. And anyway, a date wasn't anything serious, it was just two people talking, getting to know each other. The things Kayla had done, the _people_ … well, let's just say a date _paled_ in comparison to that.

"Uh… yeah" he said quietly, ignoring the painful twinge in his gut and smiled, "a date. Awesome. A _date"_ he whistled, "long time since I've been on one of those"

"Then I promise to make it memorable" she smirked.

"Heh… cool. Awesomeeeeee" he dragged out, forcing himself to smile, "let's get going"

Kayla just watched this whole exchange with careful and curious eyes, her gaze narrowing in anger as Stiles sidestepped and held open the door for the girl (the girl who Kayla officially hated by the way) and blew out an angry breath. Wow – didn't take him long, did it? Whatever, she didn't care, she couldn't afford to, but she still felt uneasy as she crossed her arms, biting the inside of her cheek to stop herself from exploding.

If he was doing this to get under her skin, then it was working. If he wasn't, and he genuinely wanted to move on, then… then, well… she didn't know but she felt her jaw clenching in anger as the jeep spluttered to a start and made its way from the parking lot.

"You know" a voice behind her sounded, "I know that look on your face. It's jealousy" she turned around to glare at Lydia, scoffing under her breath.

"Don't be so ridiculous" she muttered, "I can have anybody I want, pick of the bunch"

"Maybe" Lydia agreed, "except for the one person you _actually_ want"

"For someone incredibly smart Lydia, you sure are stupid" she forced herself to laugh, "Stiles is… he's not-" she didn't know what she was trying to say, her words not coming out properly and she saw Lydia faintly smile and that just hardened her resolve, her gut filled with fiery anger, "whatever. I don't care" she yanked at her car door, glaring at Lydia as she did so, "I have more important stuff to do than stand here and chit-chat with the crazy – I'll see ya around"

She got in her car, immediately starting up the engine and hitting reverse but was forced to slam on the brakes as she saw in the rearview mirror two people blocking her exit and glared in the mirror, her fists clenching around the steering wheel.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me" she raged, kicking her door open and pulling herself out, "what is this, a fucking intervention? Get out of my way because I am _not_ in the mood"

Derek's eyes met hers and they softened, giving her a slow once over like he was making sure what he was seeing was real, suddenly looking very vulnerable and childlike whereas Peter was more guarded but he still had that soft look in his eyes, both peering over at her.

"Kay…" Derek said quietly before clearing his throat, straightening his posture, "you've been back for days and not even a hello? A text?"

"You both didn't even cross my mind" she shrugged, "but hello – now goodbye, move"

"Cut the attitude kid" Peter spoke up, "we just came to talk, figure things out"

"Oh, you're one of the good guys now are you?" she whispered in faux shock, "wow, that really makes me feel all warm and cuddly inside. My psycho father wanting to play daddy. _Cute"_ she deadpanned, "so how about this? If you don't move, I'll flatten you – your choice"

"When I was this evil, I wasn't as tacky was I?" Peter leaned sideways towards Derek who just shot him a look like 'shut up', "just saying"

"Kay-"

"Don't you 'Kay' me Derek. I've had enough of the 'we're gonna fix you' from these lot" she jerked her thumb back to Lydia who was watching on edge, "I don't need fixing, what I need is to be left alone. From you, them, crazy encantado cousins. Just let me be"

"We can't do that" Derek shook his head, _"I_ can't. we care too much"

"Well stop" she demanded, "cos' you're gonna get nothing back"

"Ah teenage angst, don't you love it?" Peter muttered, stepping forward, "listen up kid and listen closely, this isn't you"

"It is now" she tilted her head to the side and smirked, "I guess apples don't fall far from the tree. With a mother like the one I had and a father like you, I had no chance"

"You had a chance" Peter opposed, "you just chose wrong"

"I didn't _choose_ this" she snapped, "how many fucking times do I have to repeat myself?"

"Kayla…" Derek brushed in front of Peter, refocusing her attention back to him, "I'm your cousin, he's your… he's your dad" he settled on saying, "we love you. Let us help"

"The only way you both could help me is if you dropped dead" she snapped bluntly, "got it?"

"It's all words" Peter scoffed, "you're good at running your mouth, but if it actually came to it you wouldn't be able to-" but he ended up choking on his words – no, literally _choking_ on his words. He tried to cough but his cheeks just got red, his eyes going wide as he grabbed at his throat desperately and Kayla just smiled, cocking her head to the side in amusement.

"I'm sorry, what were you saying?" she asked sweetly, "I wouldn't be able to what?"

"Kayla, stop" Derek said desperately, staring down at a choking Peter in horror, "Kay stop, he's your father-"

"He's a sperm donor" she interrupted, "I feel no love for him, for either of you. So, if you ever try something like this again…" she trailed off, shrugging a shoulder as she heard Lydia gasp and move forward, "… I won't hesitate to take your heads clean off, got it?"

Peter collapsed to his knees, slowly running out of breath and Derek stared in panic between him and her, glancing at Lydia for some help but the feisty redhead had no answers and Derek was forced to nod.

"Fine just-just stop whatever it is you're doing" and she smirked, _"now_ Kayla"

"No" she said bluntly, "I'm having way too much fun" because it was true – Peter was, well… she didn't know, she was always confused about him but right now she knew she hated him, "maybe I should do you all a favour and just kill him"

Peter let out another desperate choking sound before pitching forward onto his hands and knees, his lips turning blue as he reached out for her with a single hand, his head raising to meet her amused gaze.

"It's your official warning" she stated, glaring down at him, "you get pissy at me again, I won't hesitate to stop your heart, got it?"

He nodded faintly and she smirked in approval, "good, glad we're on the same page" and then he finally got a deep breath, coughing loudly to clear his throat, "and trust me Peter, what more I can do… you don't want to find out"

* * *

Blue rock café. That's the place Kayleigh suggested they go and he gulped, not objecting as he parked across the street and shut off the ignition, his gaze lingering a little longer on the brick exterior and cute little seating arrangements outside along the sidewalk, remembering it was usually Kayla that dragged him here because they sold the best homemade chocolate fudge cake around – the strong coffee was just an added bonus.

"You know this place?" Kayleigh asked, peering over at him curiously.

"Uh… yeah" he gulped, "sells good cake"

She must've sensed his uncomfortableness because she frowned, staring at him in worry, "oh god, sorry" she apologised, "you used to come here with your girlfriend didn't you? we can go somewhere else-"

"No, no it's okay" he reassured, "it's just a café, it's no big deal" jumping from the jeep and meeting her at the bonnet of the car, "honestly, I'm fine"

"Hmmm" she cocked her head to the side, "only if you're sure. I don't want you to have a breakdown or something"

He chuckled, "no breakdown scheduled, promise"

She smiled, glancing down before nodding him to follow her so he took a deep breath, following her across the road and hurried to clumsily open the door and almost ended up knocking her out with it, rushing out an apology but she just ducked the incoming door and laughed it off, spotting a free table near the window and rushed to get it, shrugging off her coat and smiling at him to sit down opposite her.

"So Stiles-" she propped her chin on her hand, dark eyes skimming over his features, "-what's your story?"

He wrung his hands together under the table, the back of his neck getting all sweaty, "nothing exciting. My life's kind of boring" okay lie, it was anything but boring but it's not like he could spill all his deepest darkest secrets to this girl – oh and btw, my best friend's a werewolf, my girlfriend is currently emotionless after being resurrected, her best friend is a wailing woman, I'm a part of the pack except when I was possessed by an ancient Japanese spirit – not exactly good date talks.

"Why don't I believe that?" she smirked playfully.

"Well uh… I-I play lacrosse" he said off the top of his head, "sometimes. When I actually get let on the field"

"Lacrosse, sounds interesting, that's the sticks with the nets on the bottom right?"

"Yeah, sort of like hockey" he explained, "as long as you score, it's all good"

"My school's more into soccer" she rolled her eyes, "boring sport – much prefer netball"

"Never tried that"

"Maybe I'll get you into it" she smiled, "ditch lacrosse and come play for my team"

"Unlikely" he smiled faintly, "but worth a try"

A young waitress appeared at their small table, holding a notepad and pen as she grinned down at them, "good afternoon, may I take your order?"

He hadn't even looked at the menu, completely forgetting where they were for those brief seconds and scrambled to compose himself and knock the smile off his face, glancing up at the young blonde girl.

"Uh… y-yeah of course, uh-" he practically knew the menu off by heart but still shakily reached for it as a way to diffuse the awkward, "a coffee with a slice of the chocolate fudge cake please"

"I'll have the same" Kayleigh smiled, "I'm trusting your judgement here Stiles"

He smiled a little, dropping the menu back to the table but the waitress never left, putting the notepad back in her apron pocket and glanced at him like she was trying to pinpoint where she might've seen him previously before pointing the pen at him, nodding in recognition.

"Hey, you're the boyfriend of that girl that ran her car through our front window, aren't ya?"

"Uh… yeah…?" he glanced up, "sorry about that"

"I knew I recognised you" she laughed, "haven't seen your face in a while, or hers. Though I have to admit we have a lot more sugar lately" obviously referring to the sheer amount of sugar Kayla liked in her coffee, "your orders will be up shortly"

"Uh… ran a car through the front window…?" Kayleigh asked, obviously trying to make the situation more light-hearted by laughing, "dare I ask?"

He was winded for a moment, his heart sinking to his stomach as he glanced up, his leg starting to bounce up and down under the table.

"Kaylz… she uh… she was having a hard time then after… after um… losing our baby" he admitted, his gaze swivelling to stare out the window in contemplation, "took a turn for the worst hence the whole road rage incident"

"Oh god… I really shouldn't have asked" Kayleigh winced, "I'm sorry"

"It's alright" he tore his gaze from the busy street outside and gave her a half smile, "it was like four months ago"

"It doesn't matter how much time passes, a loss like that is bound to still hurt" she murmured softly, "and four months really isn't a lot of time, especially since uh…" she trailed off, biting her words back.

"… Since she died too?" he guessed, "yeah I suppose you're right but you just gotta keep going, regardless. Live your life. It's what she wanted" because it was – her being back didn't change that. Her dying words on that letter was for him to move on, to not get held back by her memory and that was exactly what he was trying to do, "and somehow our first date's topic of conversation has turned very morbid"

She chuckled, pushing some stray hair from her face, "you're right, no more doom and gloom" before her stare met his, "and first date huh? Does that mean they'll be more to come?"

Honestly? He didn't know but it wouldn't hurt to try at least, to get to know someone else – god knows Kayla had been doing a lot of that recently and a lot more intimately too, what was the harm of talking and getting to know someone? Exactly, nothing. It was harmless. It's not like she would steal his heart, Kayla already had that, regardless of it she felt the same way or not.

He opened his mouth before closing it, unsure what to say, his throat suddenly closing-up.

"But no pressure" she jumped in to say, obviously sensing his reluctance, "let's see how today goes, hm?"

"Sure" he nodded, "sounds good"

And for the strangest reason, as Kayla watched this from the park bench just across the street she felt her stomach knot uncomfortably but she just… she didn't know _why_. Why, after all this, watching them through the glass made her want to storm in and bash that bitch's face through the window.

Stiles wasn't hers and she had done everything to ensure that he knew that but, at the first sight of him moving on, she felt… strange. Weird. Incomplete even.

Why did this pale human have to have such a hold over her?

She didn't even know what compelled her to follow them here, god knows she didn't enjoy watching, but she couldn't look away either, scrutinising the scene. Watching her laugh, him smile, sensing that they were actually kind of liking each other's company.

She could always kill her, that would work. It sure would be fun but she refrained, hating herself for how out of sorts this whole situation made her feel. Why did Stiles have to be her weakness? She came back hating him, loathing his very existence because it reminded her too much of the nogitsune and wanting him to suffer to actually kind of enjoying the attention he gave her, constantly surprising her by forgiving and understanding her and now, well… now he was on a stupid date with someone that wasn't her. Whether it be jealousy she was feeling or just straight up petty anger she wasn't too sure and she _hated_ not being sure.

"Aw, your boy-toy trying to get into someone else's pants?" and she just rolled her eyes, twisting her head to the side to see Natália sitting cross-legged on the bench next to her, a smirk lighting up her beautiful dark features, "shame"

"He's not my boy-toy" she said through gritted teeth, "he's an ex and she's a dumb bitch so do me a favour and don't patronise me"

Her cousin laughed lightly, the sound carrying far, "so why you spying?"

"Debating whether or not to rip her head off" she offered Natália a tight smile, "any suggestions?"

"Break her spine, leave her paralysed"

"Strangely sociopathic, I like it" she nodded in approval, "might just do that"

"Or you could let go" and Kayla snapped her gaze to meet her cousin's dark stare.

"Let go? Of what?"

"Your past" she explained, "we brought you back so much better and stronger than before, we gave you a chance to be something _more_ and I can see you're getting dragged back down to their pathetic depths" she jutted her chin to the café window, "you're worth so much more than _that"_

"I have let go"

"Try saying that in a tone I actually believe, cousin"

"I _have_ let go" she further insisted, "he means nothing to me"

"If that were true you wouldn't be here, would you?" she asked knowingly, "you're jealous"

"Jealous my ass" she exclaimed, her defensive hackles raising, "I don't care. I don't _care!"_

"For whatever reason that scrawny little human is still at the forefront of your mind. What can he offer you? Nothing, he's _nothing"_ Natália insisted, "he's holding you back"

"No one holds me back" she snapped darkly, _"no one"_

"Maybe it should be him that gets killed" her cousin shrugged, "maybe then whatever infatuation you have will disappear, and you can be who you're truly meant to be-" she leaned forward, keeping her voice dangerously low, "-a _monster_ … just like us"

"Touch him and you're dead" Kayla threatened, "and I mean it"

"I could do it now" Natália grinned, "would be easy, I doubt he would fight back much. I would even enjoy cutting him apart and making you watch"

She went to stand but Kayla sidestepped in front of her, letting her eyes flash that dark dangerous green and even snarled, squaring her shoulders as she heard a faint rumble of thunder overhead, "don't… you… dare… he is _off limits_ , understand?"

"You're weak" Natália spat, curling her bottom lip in disgust, "and a disgrace to our kind. Protecting a human? That's being called a traitor, cousin"

"I am _anything_ but _weak"_ she raged as the thunder overhead became more pronounced, droplets of rain starting to fall down around them, her anger, her annoyance and murderous intent causing a storm to begin swirling through the sky overhead, "and you'd do good not to piss me off unless you want to see what your internal organs look like"

Natália just smirked, "I'm not afraid of you little girl, we brought you back and we can just as easily take that away again"

"No you can't" Kayla denied, "you can't reverse a resurrection"

"Oh yes you can" she grinned, "we channelled your life force through a very powerful, very magical object. That gets destroyed you go bye-bye, so maybe you might want to rethink all of what you just said to me"

Her heart jumped and skipped a beat, pulling back to give her cousin a thorough once over, scrutinising the way she looked, how she stood, the way in which she talked and felt something close to nerves seize a hold of her body.

"What object?"

"Now why would I tell you that?" her cousin mused in faux thought, "so either you play by our rules, or we put you back in the ground, it's up to you" she shrugged, "but I do know if you protect that stupid human any longer, I'll be tempted to ensure you die very very painfully – I hear that reversing the effects of resurrection causes your body to shut down and turn back to its natural state before the person came back. So if you don't want to be a pile of rotting meat bones, I suggest you move out of my way and let me deal with your mess"

She clenched her jaw, her resolve hardening. Who the hell was she to threaten her? Rain clouds overhead burst, spitting out torrents of rain water, some hardening into hail stones as she felt her fists curl at her sides, fury as fiery as hot flames racing through her veins.

"I'm going to say this once, and only once…" she whispered, blinking through the rain streaking down her face and drenching her to the bone, "that _human_ , that _mess_ … is not to be touched, in fact he's to be left alone and if I see you try _anything_ …" she leaned forward, her lips grazing her cousin's ear, "-it'll be _me_ that makes sure you die a slow and painful death. I learnt a few things in hell, mainly a good few torture methods, are we clear?"

"You're making a grave mistake"

"No, _you_ are if you think crossing me is a good idea" she pulled back, "now leave, and don't ever look in his direction again"

Natália's bottom lip curled, turning her nose in the air, "your love for him is a weakness, little girl, one that will get you killed – again"

"I don't love him" she denied despite her voice wavering, "I'm incapable of that"

"You're lying to yourself if you truly believe that" she stepped back, shaking her wet hair from her face as the rain continued to belt down, "watch your back"

"No, watch yours" Kayla snapped, "because I won't hesitate to rip your blackened heart from your chest"

Her cousin just scoffed, walking away with a somewhat spring in her step but Kayla's anger didn't leave her, in fact her annoyance and – dare she say it – worry increased to the point where she saw streaks of lightning crackle through the sky.

"Dammit Hale, what the hell is wrong with you?" she mumbled, scraping her wet hair back off her face as she strode over to where Stiles' jeep was, knowing he never locked the damn thing… well, it's not exactly like someone would steal it, was it? And threw herself in the passenger seat to escape the rain, digging the heels of her palms into her eye sockets, trying to clear her head.

She didn't know what possessed her to do that. She really shouldn't have said any of that because the first rule of survival was to not let your emotions get in the way and what did she just do? Let a little bit of those feelings through, risking her life yet again for someone she didn't want to care about, someone who was on a date with someone else. Yeah, real smart Kayla.

She glanced up, seeing Stiles and that other girl through thee café window across the street, seeing them laugh and smile and couldn't help but think how easy it would've made her life to just… to let him go, to sidestep and allow her cousin tear him apart because then she wouldn't have to deal with what he made her feel, made her _do_ … but she knew, deep down, she couldn't let that happen and that scared her.

"Why do you have this hold over me?" she whispered, "because I-I should hate you… I should hate you" she mumbled, her quiet voice getting slightly more hysterical as she spoke to herself, "why can't I hate you?"

She felt that familiar tightening in her chest, how she found it hard to breathe and forced herself to calm down, to just not think about it because thinking was hard and right now, what she was feeling, what she was seeing… it was close to agony.

She dropped her gaze from the laughing couple, focusing back on the jeep she was sitting in and, looking for a distraction, glancing in the back seat, searching through the door holders and pulled down the visors only for a single small photograph to fall onto her lap.

She frowned, picking it up with shaky fingers and turned it over, finding herself staring right back except the photo her looked so much more happy, free even. She looked complete, something which she hadn't been feeling recently.

"He still loves you" she whispered, "and… and I don't know why"

She blew out a long breath, throwing the photo on the dashboard, unable to bare looking at it anymore as she leaned forward and opened the glove department, rooting through the heap of junk before she found her cell phone, the one she had been using before she died, that familiar multi-coloured case glaring up at her.

She picked it up, twisting it over in her grip before typing in her password, opening the home-screen and seeing _hundreds_ upon _hundreds_ of unopened messages, emails, facebook notifications you name it-it was there.

She frowned curiously, clicking on the messages icon and although there were a few from some of the less relevant people in her life, the one name that stuck out was yes, you guessed it: Stiles.

But… but he _knew_ she was dead, so why on earth would he be texting a dead person? Made no sense, but then again nor did grief. Stiles was obviously out of his mind with sadness and loss, that was a given, and yet it just seemed to peak her curiosity as she opened the messages and was bombarded and overwhelmed with what she read, her jaw slowly slackening as she read them, the last one sent a little over two weeks ago.

' _Morning Kaylz, hope you slept well. Bed feels cold without you here, hoping you'll come back xxx'_

' _Wish you were at practice today, I actually scored a goal, you would've loved it xxx'_

' _Love you'_

' _Merry Christmas baby xx'_

' _Goodnight, have a nice sleep Kaylz, maybe tomorrow I'll see you again xxx'_

Endless amounts of messages, each that got no reply. He was talking to her, deluding himself that one day he might get answer. And for some reason, whatever that may be, it made her suddenly feel very low, like she was _empathising_ with him.

Dammit.

She threw the phone down, hating herself for even looking when she glanced up and saw Stiles and that girl leaving, frowning as he looked a little awkward like he wasn't sure what to do, moving between his two feet until she tugged on his shirt and pulled him forward, crashing her lips to his and although for a few moments he seemed unsure, nervous even, he soon wound his hand through her hair and kissed her back slowly and she just watched, unable to tear her eyes away.

"Of course he's gonna move on…" she said to herself, "why would someone so good, love me?"

Stiles pulled back from the kiss, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly and it seemed the girl must've said something along the lines of 'don't worry I can walk back to my car, I don't want to put you out' and she scoffed and rolled her eyes as miss tall dark and perfect walked away.

"Can you scream desperate?" she muttered, crossing her arms as Stiles crossed the street, keeping his head lowered and it seemed he didn't realise she was sitting there in the passenger side until he opened the door and near enough yelped, his hand immediately seizing a hold of his chest.

"Jesus Christ"

"Nope, just Kayla" she snarked, "enjoy your date?"

Guilt flared up in his eyes as he slowly pulled himself into the driver's side, shutting the door behind him, "it wasn't a date"

"Looked like a date to me" she shrugged, "but hey ho, maybe I'm going blind"

"And what is it to you if it was or not?" he suddenly got defensive, "you're all heartless now remember? You kicked me to the curb and last I checked you're the one sleeping with god knows who"

She bit back her defensive insults, peering at him from the side, "you're right – I did" she mumbled, "I got rid of you, you know why? For your own good, for your _safety"_

He frowned, gulping noisily, "why are you trying to keep me safe?"

She clenched her jaw, hating the words she knew she was going to have to say, "Achilles heel, remember?"

"Kaylz…" he paused, taking a deep breath, "you've got to understand that I can't keep being this hopelessly in love with you when all I'm getting is a broken heart"

"I don't understand" she settled on saying, "I don't understand emotions or feelings, it confuses me" she answered honestly, "so when I… when I hurt you I don't know that I'm hurting you. But I can see now that I have. It's weird, isn't it?" she mused, "how things have changed – how _we've_ changed"

"Yeah" he nodded, "but I… I meant what I said Kayla. Unless you're going to try and change or at least let some things in, I don't know if I can keep chasing you…"

She dipped her head, hating how her stomach churned uncomfortably, "then maybe it's time to stop running" she forced herself to smile a little, "so if you went on that date to get under my skin then congrats, it worked" she admitted, "a little too well, which is hypocritical I know. There I am, having sex with all those people and as soon as I see you… _enjoying_ yourself with another girl I get angry. And when I get angry I get psycho which is exactly why… it's why… it's why I can't-"

But he cut her off by grabbing her cheeks and pulling her forward, his lips crashing against hers in a searing hot kiss that knocked all the breath from her until she was dazed because she hadn't felt something so pure, so loving, in so damn long. The familiar feel of his lips moving against her, slowly yet intensely, conveying everything he ever felt and wanted made her kiss back gently, cupping his chin and tilting his head up, breathing in his musky woodland scent.

"Please Kaylz… please come back to me…" he whispered against her lips, warm breath fluttering across her skin as he slid his hands down to cup her neck, "because I don't want anyone else but _you_ … even now" he admitted, "I'll give you one more chance but after that I'm done… I'm done getting hurt by the girl I love and it might take a while but I'll get over you… is that what you want?"

Their noses brushed, her eyes slowly peeling open to see his honey brown stare peering back at her.

"No… no it's not. I want _you"_ she admitted, feeling the tears sting her eyes, "but I can't ever have you, not now, because you're the light and me… I'm the dark. I'm a ruthless murderer and a selfish person, I know that. And you deserve someone better than that, someone you don't have to force yourself to forgive. I'm a monster Stiles… and maybe it would've been better if I stayed dead"

 **A/N) AHHHHHHH okay so she has a soft spot but that'll make her all the more dangerous to anyone that attacks the pack ha, sure hope you all liked and please please review, see y'all real soon x and OMG did that little bitch cousin just threaten Kayla haha oooooh shit about to go down ha, hope you liked the Stayla cos next chapter might not be so nice on that part ha :)**


	16. Chapter 16 - Pathetic

**A)n) you guys all rock and I'm sorry for not updating I suck but here's a long chapter for you hope you enjoy xxx Also not proofread sorry in a massive rush and mad to update now otherwise wouldn't be able to for a couple of days my life is mad rushed right now apologists haha**

"Don't say that" Stiles insisted, "nothing would be better if you stayed dead - _nothing_ "

"Now we both know that's not true" she sighed, leaning back in her seat and watching the heavy rain start to ease off outside, tapping her fingers along the jeep door, "those people would still be alive, you would've healed and moved on, those deranged cousins of mine wouldn't be tearing the town up with their partying or seducing ways. It's just... It's not fair I got a second chance when other people don't. When you die... You should stay dead" she explained, giving a soft little sigh before twisting her head to the side to peer over at him, "it throws everything out of balance. It's just not right. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be away from that place, I am, but the old me wouldn't want this"

"She might not have wanted the destruction, but she would want a chance to make things right" he said quietly, "I... I don't think you really thought about what you did. You had a split second decision to make and that's why, when you first came back, you hated me. Because you tried to do the right thing and save my life but all you got in return was an eternity of misery. I get it Kaylz. I understand your resentment"

"Bitter like coffee" she smirked, her head lolling on the corner of the seat as she stared across at him thoughtfully, "if it helps any I didn't regret it at the start" shrugging a single shoulder, "for the first century or two I sucked it up because I was content that you were out there living your life, something that I fought so hard for. It was after that, after he... Twisted and pried into my head that the anger came, the regret. But the truth is, if I had a chance to reverse things - let you die, and me live... I probably couldn't go through with it because you're my Achilles heel no matter how 'evil' I am, how twisted and deranged or tormented... I just can't shake you and its incredibly annoying" she summarised, "you're very annoying"

A playful lopsided grin tugged at his lips, "I've been told that once or twice"

"Once or twice?" She scoffed lightly, "try more like a thousand"

"You used to think my annoyance was endearing"

"Maybe I still do" she agreed, "guess we'll never know"

The grin fell from his face, his honey molten eyes boring holes through her own and she felt a little uncomfortable, like he was scrutinising every nook and cranny to her, "Kaylz... I am sorry for everything. You know that right?"

"Your apologies are misdirected. You never asked for any of this anymore than I did" she said simply, her voice barely above a whisper, "we were just unlucky. Really unlucky" she added with a slight chuckle, "you didn't happen to break a truck load of mirrors when you were younger, did you?"

A smirk lit up his once intense and distraught features, "maybe one or two, I was a clumsy kid"

"I know" she said half fondly, have obviously, "you're a clumsy teenager still. It's a miracle you haven't fallen in front of a bus yet"

"You have such faith in me"

She broke his stare, glancing down at the floor of the jeep as she sighed heavily, hating herself for indulging in such deep and meaningful talk and hating even more how much she enjoyed it, how natural it felt, "I'm glad you had a nice date though"

The corners of his lips upturned in amusement, "no you're not"

She half glared, "fine I'm not, happy?"

He frowned, stare trailing slowly over her, "I've forgotten what being happy was" he answered truthfully, "except for these last few minutes. I feel happy now"

She scrutinised him carefully, melting into those eyes as she tried to figure out if this was another game of his, if he was just saying these words to get under her skin and get a reaction out of her but couldn't find any indication he was being dishonest, "why's that?"

"Because in the last couple of minutes everything felt normal. This. Us. Sitting in this stupid jeep just talking" he sighed heavily, sagging against the seat, "I probably missed that the most - talking about anything and everything. It just wasn't the same when I was talking to a pile of dirt"

"The dead can't hear" she pointed out, "I had no idea you were there"

"I know" he smiled faintly, "but I guess a part of me hoped you did because if I kept talking and visiting you then you wouldn't feel so alone" his smile vanished, that sadness taking over again as he caught her eye, "it didn't work, did it?"

"It was a nice thought I guess" she shrugged, "totally lacked reason and logic and was probably a waste of time. The mere voice of a human can't pierce through the complex layers of dimensions, let alone time"

"Just as blunt as always" he smirked, "nice to know some things never change"

"I could say the same thing about you" she remarked, "thinking and acting with your heart, yet again" it wasn't meant as an insult or a compliment just a simple observation - a statement if you will, "even now"

"Nothing wrong with the heart" Stiles mumbled, "without feeling what's the point?"

"Nice jab" she chuckled, "but acting irrational gets people killed. You being soft will get you killed"

"Is that care I hear in your voice?" He wondered, a smile tugging at his lips.

"No" she denied, "just the truth. Do you want to die?"

"Not particularly"

"Good" she smirked, "now drive, I want to show you something"

Turns out where she wanted him to drive was to an old abandoned warehouse way out in the industrial worn down part of town and for a second he wondered if she was going to kill him and hide his body (to be fair, the way she had been acting he had every right to think that) but she just simply slipped out of the jeep as he slowed to a stop outside the beaten down ratty stone building that, quite frankly, looked to be on its last legs.

"Uh... Okay this isn't creepy at all" he mumbled sarcastically, following her out and casting a suspicious glance to her, "is this where you're staying?"

She snorted before giving a light chuckle, "no Stiles, I'm staying at a hotel"

"Oh, which one?"

"Now why would I tell you that?" She smirked playfully, "unless of course you wanna come to the orgy party - and no I'm not kidding" she added, "threesomes are fun, so are foursomes, you would enjoy them"

"Uh... Think I'll pass" he screwed his face up, "so why are we here?"

"Why do you think?"

"I have honestly no idea"

"Aw, cmon Stiles" she smirked, "no ideas at all in that big brain of yours?"

He was at a loss, "torture me?"

She laughed, "no silly, follow me" she strode into the worn down building and he followed, accepting her mysteriousness until she let him through the stone bricks to the large pile of cement bricks and boulders.

"Uh... Okay"

She grinned, "being soft will get you killed, but so can being human" she explained, "I know you've been working out a bit more lately so let's out that to the test"

"Uh... Those things weigh like two hundred pounds"

"Some three hundred" she smirked, "come on Stiles, believe it or not I am trying to help. Humans are at a severe disadvantage in the supernatural world. You have to rely on cunningness and wit where as we have strength, powers, the list goes on. You do want to be stronger, don't you?"

"Of course" he said immediately, knowing how bad he had wanted that ever since she died in his arms and he felt responsible, like he wasn't strong or fast enough to save her, "I want to be able to handle myself"

"Then lift" she grinned, pressing her back against one of the stone pillars and folding her arms, "practice and then maybe in the coming days I'll continue teaching you some self defence"

He sighed and glanced at the piles of stone, "my upper body strength isn't that great"

"You don't give yourself enough credit" she nodded, "try, for me"

He knew he would probably make an idiot of himself but listened to her, shrugging off his shirt so he was left in a grey tee and bent down to pick up the smaller of the rocks but even then it was heavy and his arms shook as he walked over and deposited it next to her, feeling his body begin to sweat already.

"Well done. Told you you're stronger than you think" she praised, "clearly your working out has been paying off"

He blushed a little and moved into the next stone, a little heavier than the last and continued doing so until his whole body was slick with sweat and his cheeks had gone red.

"Jeez, working out is _not_ fun"

She laughed, "it'll pay off, maybe even save your life"

His muscles ached with tiredness, his body burning as, without thinking, he pulled away his damp tee from his body and threw it to one side, letting the sweat run freely down his torso.

"It feels like I'm dying"

She never answered straight away, her green eyes turning lustful as they trailed down his torso which had gotten slightly more toned, is pale skin glistening with sweat, a bead of it coursing down to catch in the line of hair on his navel.

Hot damn.

She coughed to clear her throat, catching his attention, "uh... Being able to handle yourself is uh... It's..." But she couldn't stop herself from looking back down, soaking up the sight of his v-lines above is beige slacks, "it's a... Good thing-wow" she added, "I mean you've... Definitely... Stronger..."

He blushed again at her staring, releasing he was shirtless, "a little, I guess"

"That's... Good,,," she was getting breathless as she finally snapped her gaze back to his, "it means you're learning to defend yourself, which means you have a slightly less chance of dying"

He smiled, "thanks"

Her body got hot again, her stomach clenching, "I would really love some whipped cream to lick off you right now"

"What?" He asked, not hearing her whisper.

"What?" She asked, half alarmed, half shocked at what she just said, "nothing, I said nothing" because dammit he could really get under her skin, especially looking all toned and buffer like that, fresh sweat glistening on his pale skin, "uh let's call it a day. Don't want you to drop dead of a heart attack"

Since she got back, all she felt were sexual feelings except this, now, felt different, it wasn't just sexual but bordering on romantic too.

Wow, she was screwed.

* * *

When Isaac made it to the lake house he wanted to turn around and disappear back to Beacon Hills but knew if he ever wanted to make things right he would have to suck it up and deal with whatever was coming his way. Plus he knew whatever he got, he definitely deserved it.

He walked in with Kira and immediately all eyes zeroed in on him.

"Uh... Figured you might need a hand"

Scott half smiled, "of course. Especially with a new werewolf"

Isaac breathed a sigh of relief at that acceptance and found everyone to be not so angry anymore, disappointed, maybe. But not angry. Well - except Stiles of course. He threw Isaac a heated stare before announcing he needed some water and stalked off to the kitchen.

"Oh god..." Isaac mumbled, knowing he would have to follow and try and apologise, to make things right, "uh... Wish me luck"

Lydia winced, "you definitely need it"

"Gee, thanks" he said sarcastically before following Stiles into the kitchen, waiting as he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and turned around, his eyes glazing over in rage.

"Don't even start" Stiles warned, pointing an angry finger in Isaac's direction, "I _mean_ it Lahey. It's taking all my willpower not to try and skin you alive right now"

Isaac's jaw snapped shut, that guilty flare shining in his eyes as his shoulders sagged forward in defeat, "I... I get that you still hate me but-"

"Hate isn't a strong enough word for what I feel for you" he snapped, "I hated mr Harris, I hate Peter, I hated Brian - you, I loathe" he sneered, "despise actually, with every bone in my body. Do you get the picture yet or should I continue?"

Isaac gulped, rolling back on the balls of his feet subconsciously as he remembered the dull ache where Stiles' fist had connected with his face earlier this day, "and you have every right to. If I were you I would hate me too" he agreed glumly, "probably think about stringing me up and leaving me for dead

"Thought about it more than once actually"

"Figured that" Isaac mumbled, "but we can get past this right? It meant nothing, I promise. Not to me and certainly not to kayla, she's incapable of feeling"

"Don't you stand there and tell me it meant nothing" Stiles raged, "if it really meant nothing then you wouldn't have done it. You know, I half expected this from Kayla the way she's acting right now - hell, she has a reason considering she's as cold as a snake but from you? From the guy that stood there all those months ago and promised me you felt _nothing_ for my girlfriend. The guy that took her to the hospital when she was loosing _my_ baby but told me it was just because he was her best friend. _My_ friend who comforted me after her death decided to have sex with her. Clearly our friendships meant jack-shit to you Isaac otherwise you would've thought with your brain and not with your dick"

"I... I don't know what to say" Isaac mumbled sadly, "it was a mistake and it will never happen again"

"It better not" he warned in a low voice, "or so help me god Isaac I won't hold back and you're going to wish you had never been born"

Isaac saw something flash beneath his withering stare - something so dark and forceful he actually shivered knowing just how serious Stiles was being, knowing that he wouldn't hesitate to end him out of anger and betrayal. What Isaac did was, after all, a massive betrayal. He and Kayla may not be together but that doesn't make it any better - he slept with his friend knowing full well his friend was in love with her, even knowing their history. Wow, he really was a dick.

Despite being a werewolf and Stiles a human he gulped, dipping his head into an affirmative nod, "understood"

"Good" Stiles ground out through gritted teeth, "so stay out of my way and don't even _try_ talking to me. I can't even _look_ at you right now" and with that he brushed past Isaac - well, it was more like a shove - almost sending him careening to the side as he disappeared back into the living room and Isaac guilt worsened, hating himself even more than before at the pure hatred etched on Stiles' boyish features.

But with a resound sigh he shook himself off and carried on, putting on a brave face and mustering up as his courage as he dragged his feet back through to where the others were, trying to avoid their stares. He wasn't so much outcasted as grounded, put on the naughty step, whatever. They would warm back up to him - eventually. They just had to scold him first and he understood that.

* * *

"They should be arriving shortly" Scott checked his watch quickly, "it's coming up to nine"

"I still can't believe Kayla invited everyone here, that's going to complicate things" Kira added nervously, "how many people are gonna show?"

"Hundreds" Lydia mumbled, "Kayla doesn't do things by half measures"

"Hundreds... Great" Scott said quietly, "all as we try to control a new werewolf"

"And a werecoyote" Stiles piped up, "so technically we have two out of control wild animals"

"Hey!"

Stiles was still pissed off so just shrugged at Malia's indignation but before she could snap something back (the full moon not helping) they heard the obnoxious roar of an engine followed by a low smashing sound and they all frowned, wondering what the hell could possibly be going on but before they could investigate the front door to the lake house got thrown open and in stumbled Kayla carrying several brown boxes all piled on top of one another before dumping them on the wooden floor, smirking over at them, dressed in a tight short little blue dress that hugged her body, emphasising her slender figure.

"ALCOHOL'S HERE" they winced as she shouted and she just sniggered, dramatically bringing a finger to her lips and hushing, "sorry - inside voices" very clearly drunk - or tipsy at best - "the finest tequila and vodka, you're welcome"

Stiles cocked a brow, "had a little tester did we?"

"Of course" she nodded, bending down and picking up the half full bottle of vodka, "oh and BTW I crashed my Lamborghini in one of those trees outside, sorry about that"

"Oh god" Lydia groaned, "my mom is going to be pissed"

Kayla just waved away what Lydia was saying, "it's a tree, not something more important than a tree" okay, maybe more drunk that Stiles originally thought hence the whole crash course outside, "the party will be here any minute, I passed them coming up-down, whatever" she slurred, "so get your little wolf boy and I'll deal with the music"

Which is what she did - syncing up her phone to the Bluetooth high def speakers, turning up the volume and laying out all the drink as everyone - no seriously, _everyone_ \- filtered through the front door, sweaty bodies cramming together as they shouted for more booze and danced to the music and she may have added a little passion and want into the air, causing everyone to be a little bit looser, dancing with strangers and drinking more than was probably appropriate.

"Good job Hale" she said to herself, "Lydia's not the only one that knows how to throw a party"

She pushed past the tightly packed bodies, escaping the confined place and tugging her dress down as she fell out into the cool air just as Stiles and Lydia was walking back in, almost colliding into them headfirst.

"So-" she grinned, "-success?"

Lydia shared a knowing look with Stiles before giving Kayla a grudging nod, "sort of. Malia's locked up with Isaac watching over her and Liam, well... He's knocked out"

"Simple but effective" she praised, "told you it would work"

"You just did all this so you get a party, didn't you?"

"... Maybeeeee" she winked, "oh and you better be careful - they've already broke a vase and put a dent in the wall"

Lydia paled considerably, "oh god - don't touch the ornamentals" she screeched before rushing back in leaving Stiles standing in front with his hands stuffed in his slacks pockets, gazing across at her through his eyelashes.

"What?" She asked, "you have that look in your eyes like you're going to tell me to be careful or something"

"I am" he nodded, "sometimes you overdo your alcohol intake and the end result is not pretty"

"I've dealt with death and impending doom, a few bottles of vodka won't harm me"

"A _few_?"

"Loosen up, have a drink" she suggested, stepping forward and letting her wide eyed gaze trail over his handsome features, biting down a little on her bottom lip as she imagined her fingers tracing those moles splattered across his cheeks, remembering the beads of sweat collecting on his skin earlier that day and wishing she could feel his body heat against hers-

Whoops. Hormone control Kayla. She always got a little feisty and out of control when she hadn't had sex in a few hours and it was, what? Coming up to ten hours already. She was in some serious need of some action A.S.A.P.

"Think I'll stay sober" he murmured quietly, "it's a full moon, disaster could strike and knowing us it probably will"

"Probably" she agreed, watching his Angel lips as they formed words she was really wanting to hear turn lustful and dirty, "but who cares?"

He frowned a little, sending her neediness as she leaned in closer, pupils dilating in want, "I care Kaylz" he said simply, "and you do too - somewhere"

She barely registered his words but slowly nodded, "we should really have sex now, wouldn't you agree?" She murmured, "last time we did it it was on some ratty old sofa in the basement of a nut house, it's been too long" she slid her hands up to his shirt, grabbing gentle fistfuls of it and tugging him forward, "I'll even let you top"

His eyes widened slightly in surprise, peering down at her half affectionately and half in restraint, "Kayla... You know why we can't"

"I don't actually" she replied truthfully, "there's nothing stopping us. Unless you want to have sex with date-girl"

He frowned, "I don't want that"

"Then perfect" she summarised, "Stiles c'mon... Don't tell me you haven't thought about it" she said slyly, "I have. I just... I need... I need..." She was going to say "I need sex' but stopped, knowing Stiles wouldn't appreciate those choice of words and he would turn stone cold in a matter of moments. He didn't want just physical affection, he wanted the whole package, something she was incapable of giving him.

He frowned in knowing, "you need physical satisfaction" he guessed, "or you _think_ you need it"

"I don't think, I know" she groaned, "the thing inside me, this encantado beast needs sex and pleasure"

"I disagree" he counter argued, "you can control it - I've seen you do it"

"It's different now" she explained, "sex is not just about enjoyment, it's about survival" she said, "I can't explain it but it's just something I need. I need you"

"No, you need my body" he said sadly, "I can't have sex with you if it's just that - just sex, I'm sorry but I can't. It hurts enough watching you when we're not even together doing everything you're doing, if I get a part of you then it'll be hell"

She sighed heavily, letting go of his shirt and stepping back, "why are you making sex such a big deal? Sex can be causal"

"Because you made it special" he replied with simply, sadly shrugging a single shoulder, "so take my advice and try exercising control. Try taking charge and not sleeping with people because of a rush of pleasure but because you actually kind of want to and, you know, maybe find out their name first"

Her brows furrowed, "names aren't that important unless you want to be screaming it" she shrugged, "so it's a no to the sex then?"

He nodded, "I want to. I want to be with you, but I deserve better than to be someone's toy"

"Oh well, you're loss" she pretended to not care, turning a blind eye and trying to change the subject but inside it made her feel... Not right. Out of sorts. Rejected - now that was definitely something she hadn't felt since she got back. No one had rejected her, in fact they had lined up to kiss her, touch her, make her feel good and Stiles was the only one who kept a level head and said no, like he was protecting them both.

He was so completely in love with her he knew he had to wait until she was ready to accept feelings and emotions back into her life in a steady and healthy way before letting his guard down - save them both getting hurt.

Before she could step back into the party he took ahold of her wrist, staring at her thoughtfully, "take my advice - you don't need sex. You're more than that. No one controls your life except you and whatever urges, whatever things you feel you have to do, you don't"

"Nice advice" she commented, "but I don't think I can take it" she said truthfully before slipping back into the party, drinking more shots, dancing with more strangers and smoking some perfectly good joints next to the window which made her sigh in contentment, sucking in another drag.

"May I?"

She glanced up at the voice, her vision blurry, "may you what?"

He nodded down to the joint, cocking a brow.

"Sure" she gave it, smirking to herself as he took it and tried a bit before coughing, knowing he just came over, pretending to want some weed, as an excuse to talk to her, "is it not good?"

"Just strong" he hit his chest with his fist, spluttering a little more before realising he was making an idiot of himself and tried another drag, his cheeks going red as he tried to hold back another coughing fit, "I'm Donovan"

She took a double take at that name, not recognising him dressed up in a shirt with his hair slicked back,mocking her head to the side as she trailed her eyes up his body, "Donovan..." Feeling that familiar clench in her stomach as he body started to heat up, recognising a perfectly attractive and willing partner, "yeah, I know now"

He handed her back the joint as she expertly took a drag, playfully blowing a cloud of smoke in his face, "I heard you weren't seeing that Stilinski anymore"

She paused, taking another drag as an excuse not to answer straightaway, "... Yes, that's true"

He stepped forward, his hooded eyes peering down at her, "I never liked him anyway"

"I know that too" she whispered, getting totally and completely wrapped up in the smell of his cologne, his body, how strong his body heat was, the feelings of lust escaping his every pore. She was the seductress but at times the seductress took over and she was the one getting seduced, drowning in feelings of want and need and arousal.

He smirked, "I like your dress" he reached out to gently touch the blue fabric.

Her body hummed in approval, all thoughts leaving her mind as she could only focus on one thing - getting that closeness, that body to body friction, craving it deep within her stomach.

"Wouldn't you like it better if it was on the floor?"

He grinned, "I probably would"

She smirked, stubbing the joint out on the window sill (something Lydia would probably kill her for) and cocked a brow in his direction, "then let's test that theory"

She knew apart of her didn't exactly want this, with him, but when she got needy and the seductress inside her egged her on, flooding her body with uncontrollable hormones, it wasn't about what she wanted. It was about what her body needed and she needed this. She vaguely remembered Stiles' words in the back of her head but they got drowned out the higher up the stairs they went and a small part of her tried to hang onto them but they disappeared and all she found herself caring about was something as trivial as sex.

She led him past all the teenagers getting handsy with one another, pulling him into one of the large bedrooms and shutting the door, twisting around so her back was facing him.

"The zip if you please"

He grinned eagerly, sweaty fingers tugging the zip down quickly so she stepped out of the dress, turning around to face him as she watched his eyes widen in admiration and lust, trailing over her figure.

"Wow" he whispered, already unbuttoning his shirt with quick fingers, "no _way_ did Stilinski deserve this"

"Can we not talk about him?" She asked, "not now" her green eyes appreciating his toned chest as he yanked off his shirt.

"Whatever you want" he settled with, eyes greedily lapping up her body as he stepped forward, taking ahold of her hips and spinning around to press her back into the wall, breathing rate increasing as he shimmied out of his pants, pulling down his boxer shorts and slowly wrapping a hand around his length to stroke himself, pressing it against her stomach.

"Well?"

Was he seriously asking her opinion on what she thought his dick was like? Without a test drive? Sometimes teenage boys were the worst, hence why she liked a little roll around with the girls - take Savannah today for example, that girl knew how to work her tongue.

But she decided to humour him, knowing if she built him up it would only serve for a (hopefully) better screw, "perfect" she whispered, feeling his hand speed increase a little more at her praise, a groan falling from his lips, "I want you in me"

"I want that too" he whispered, leaning down to press a sloppy kiss to her lips, "but first can you, you know-" he nodded downwards, "-just to get me started. I'm sure that pretty little mouth of yours is better than my hand"

She rolled her eyes but nodded, dropping to her knees as she did some things that would make anyone blush, even the best of pornstars. And when, and only when, did she make sure he knew just how talented she was by pushing him deep into the back of her throat did she pull back and stand up, lips upturning at the sight of his flushed look.

"Better?"

He let out a low groan, not being gentle as he pretty much ripped her underwear off and lifted her up, slamming her back against the wall and without so much as a little foreplay (wow, talk about selfish) had snapped his hips up against hers and started to fuck her ruthlessly right there against the wall, his heavy panting next to her ear.

And she lived for quick and rough sex but only when she was in control - she liked that aspect you see, being in control. She hated being vulnerable. So she dug her nails into his shoulders, telling him to stop. It took a few moments and several more well placed deep thrusts before he stopped, stilling inside her.

"What is it?"

"Get on the bed" she instructed, "I want to go on top"

"You not liking what we're doing?" He asked, still holding her steady as he slowly started to continue to screw her, moving inside her, "I thought the whole point of being a slut was to enjoy getting used?"

"A slut is society's concept to degrade women who enjoy sex" she said calmly, pushing him back and dropping to her feet, "I enjoy sex and I enjoy it much more when I'm on top, so if you want to continue... Get on your back"

He glanced down at his hardened dick, knowing he was aching for a release so just nodded, laying on his back on the queen sized bed and smirked at her, "well? Hop on"

She strode forward, climbing into the soft mattress and threw her legs around his hips, angling herself perfectly and sank down.

"But first, lose the bra" he nodded to her hot pink bra still in place and she just threw him a dirty look but removed it and just as he went to raise his hands to no doubt grab at her body she took his hands and pressed them above his head, leaning forward as she started to swivel her hips quickly.

"And for your pissy entitled attitude earlier, you can watch and not touch until I say so - got it?"

She went quick then slow then agonisingly slowly just to piss him off and when she had him where she wanted him (practically begging for me) she sat up and pulled him with her, guiding his large palms over her breasts.

"Now you can have free rein" she said breathlessly, "but if you ever insinuate again that you're just using me for your own pleasure and call me degrading names without my approval, I will drag this little sex session out for hours and not let you cum, understood?"

He gulped but nodded, his eyes getting lusty as they stared down at her body, "go faster" she cooked her brow, "please"

And so the sex wasn't that great - it did the trick though. He got to leave bruises and hickies all over her body seeming how he was a fan of the rough stuff, she even let him spank her and in return she got a distraction, something that quelled the beast inside her. Win-win.

Well... Usually,

Except when she collapsed all sweaty on the bed next to him she didn't feel all that satisfied. Satisfied with the sex? Sure, but not wth her decision. Which was rare. Ever since we got back, all those people she screwed, she was happy knowing she chose it, only now she was sure what she was feeling bubbling in her stomach was a well of regret.

It was probably Stiles' little speech earlier, putting her off her game, getting under her skin. He actually made her feel regret. What the hell.

"Well thanks" Donovan pushed himself up, swiping the back of his hand across his sweaty forehead before starting to pull on his clothes but she was barely listening, hating how bad she felt about this - that wasn't supposed to happen, she was supposed to not care about sex, it was casual, so why did he feel so terrible?

Donovan tucked his shirt into his dress pants, glancing at her half tangled in the sheets and frowned at the faraway look in her eyes but couldn't help the pleased smirk that tugged at his lips - he knew it wasn't exactly hard to get between her legs these days, hell she was starting to get a bit of a reputation at school, but anything he could do to piss off Stiles was a win in his book.

"I rather enjoyed myself" he continued, "even if I was downgraded to being submissive"

She didn't spare him a glance, her jaw clenched in anger, "get out. Just... Get out"

Whatever. He rolled his eyes, not sure about her sudden change in attitude from a few minutes ago but didn't really care - he got what he wanted after all - and made his way out the bedroom, grabbing a bottle of beer as he walked down the stairs and almost bumped into someone turning the corner at the bottom, smirking at the sight of Stilinski.

He grinned, this opportunity too good to pass up.

He leaned forward, "if it's your girlfriend you're looking for - oh sorry, my bad" he correctly in faux sympathy, "ex girlfriend, then she's upstairs naked in one of the bedrooms" enjoying watching his eyes cloud over in anger and sadness, "she's good - a big fan of the whole on top-dominant thing huh? Don't know why, I was doing a perfectly good job of fucking her my way but hey ho, maybe she's just used to working with slightly less... _Inferior_ types" he smirked as Stiles clenched his fists, "maybe she has to take control because her past boyfriend hasn't been able to hit the spot" but it seemed stilisnki had some level of self control because he never lashed out, just pressed his lips into a thin line, "go find the slut if you don't believe me" he shrugged, "but the way she's been putting around lately, it's not that hard to believe she drops her dress for someone she knew for all of a few seconds... Isn't that the story of how she lost her virginity? With that Aiden guy?"

And for a moment Stiles' whole body jolted like he was going to either punch him or knock him out but just as Donavan flinched Stiles managed to control himself, holding back but Donavan was sure he saw something filled with rage and bitterness, something evil, flash through his stars and he took a step back for his own protection, his mouth slamming shut.

"Don't talk about her like that" Stiles warned, "and if you know what's good for you, you'll get out of my face before I break yours"

Lately Stiles' anger had been justified, sure, but sometimes uncontrollable, like he could snap in a moments notice so as he watched Donavan backtrack he found himself climbing the stairs furiously, hurt and rejection pounding through his veins as he finally located the bedroom, storming in.

They weren't together, but it still hurt.

"What the _hell_ Kayla?" He demanded, slamming the door shut so it shook the hinges, " _Donovan_? _Really_? The guy that's had it out for me since fourth grade? You had _sex_ with him?"

She was sitting up, tangled in a thin beige sheet, arms wrapped around her legs, "not now Stiles"

"Not now?" He shouted, "then _when_? After you try bedding me again or after you screw another stranger? Though I guess At least you knew his name" he snarked but when she tiredly looked up at him she seemed... Crestfallen. Not like someone that had just had amazing sex.

"I... I didn't want this" she murmured, "or I... Or I feel... I didn't want that, or him"

" _Clearly_ you did" he waved his arm out at the rumpled bed and at her clothes lying on the floor, scoffing at the sight of her bra dangling off the end of the bed frame.

She shook her head, raking her hands through her hair, "this... This feeling" she mumbled, eyes glassy with confused tears, "is it regret?"

"A little too late for regret" he snapped, "and Donovan is _awfully_ happy with himself down there, probably bragging about it, degrading you... How could you want that?"

"I don't" she said quietly, "I don't know why I... Why I had sex with him" she met his gaze, "sometimes the Encantado side blurs my judgement"

"Blurs? _Blurs?"_ He demanded, "or completely _destroys_ it? God Kayla... You're not even the same girl I fell in love with anymore"

She looked slightly panicked, standing up and untangling herself from the sheet, walking over to him and he couldn't help but let his eyes trail over her bruised body, feeling sick as he imagined Donavans hands all over her, "but this... This is what you wanted" she said feebly, "you wanted me to let it in. I think I... I think I feel... Bad"

"Think isn't good enough" he stopped glancing at her body, meeting her haze head on, "and if the only way you can feel such a basic emotion is by screwing someone I hate..." He shook his head in disappointment, "first Isaac, now this... Jesus Kayla" he ran his hand down his face in exhaustion.

"I'm... I'm sorry" she whispered feebly, clasping her hands around his wrists.

"You're making me feel anger I never thought I would have to feel after the nogitsune" he answered honestly.

"Donovan was... He was... A mistake" she settled on saying, "I'm... I'm really... I'm s-..."

"Save it" he jerked his arms from her grip, shaking his head as he glanced at her, unable to control his anger, "you're pathetic. Get dressed" he ordered, "and clean yourself up"

She watched him go, something close to sadness clenching her stomach before the bitterness came and washed it away. Pathetic. _Pathetic_. Wow.

She angrily grabbed her dress and threw it on, slipping on her shoes and stormed from the room, stomping down the stairs and pushing past anyone who got in her way, clocking onto Stiles talking to Lydia and swiped up a bottle of freshly opened tequila, chugging it and watching them talk and look over at her in sadness and confusion and she snapped.

"Pathetic?" She shouted, pushing over a drunk guy as she stormed up to them, "I'm pathetic? No, you'reeeee pathetic" she slurred, "both of you. Thinking you're all high and mighty and good" she scoffed, "let me let you in on a little secret - you're both as bad as me" throwing them both dirty looks before swigging some more tequila, "at least I know what I am. You're both fooling yourselves, so you know what? Fuck you both and fuck trying to be good. You call me pathetic for seeking acceptance because I felt regret? Go to hell" she grabbed another bottle of vodka in the other hand and took a mouthful, "that's the last time I ever let you in Stiles" before she managed to grab her car keys in her full hands and stormed from the lake house, seeing her crashed lamborghini still against the tree but it was only a bumper and bonnet crash, it wood be fine, so she just threw the bottles of alcohol into the front seat before climbing in, well aware her vision was blurring as she reversed backwards clumsily, almost running over a couple of drunk students, before revving away up the dirt track.

A)n) sorry it took so long to update, had no wifi just phone data for a week ha hope you all had a fab Christmas and please please review and let me know what you thought, best Xmas pressies ever haha love you all, see you soon xxx


	17. Chapter 17 - Turning point

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any shape or form (sad face). But a massive thankful shoutout to 19irene96, guest, guest, S.S (I love ur insight it's amazing and yes it's Donovan from season five :) and yeah Kayla just doesn't understand due to her lack of empathy and emotions but that's gonna change ha), Mrs Tall Blonde and Dead, linda96, siriuslylovehp, guest, (yes Kayla is v lonely), WitchLove, x XRoweenaJAugistineX x, EllieDragon, Mandy, Mandy again, guest (in response to Mandy), zvc56, TheMysteriousPerson -0-'-0, guest, Wallflower (haha), BlueGreen216 (I PM u but in short, thank you for ur thoughts and it really helps me a lot, you rock) and Ab for reviewing and letting me know what you all like, I love your insights they mean so much and you're all amazing hope you all like this next chapter xxx**

 **also have a poll on my profile and would appreciate the feedback if you could spare a few seconds, thanks lovelies xxx**

She sat in the midst of her own destruction, staring blankly off into space, her feet swinging gently off the tall bar stool she was currently in with her hand wrapped loosely around a bottle of whiskey.

Pathetic? _Pathetic?_ _**Pathetic?**_

That word still rung around inside her head as her look hardened and she raised the bottle to her lips, gulping back a few mouthfuls of the sharp liquid, ignoring the pained groans of a couple of the guys laying at her feet and considered just crashing her boot into their faces to shut them up but some part of her told her not to, that it would be wrong to, and damn - she really _hated_ that voice, the one of reason and emotion.

So she just continued to sit there silently, lost in her mind as she got drunker, more and more to the point where she actually felt her liver _hurting_ , aching in her torso but she didn't care. Since she got back she was free from those worrying, pesky emotions that had always held her back, knowing that at least this way she could survive everything she had been through and it was a welcome relief. Only now, well… everything was starting to change. She wasn't as free as she thought, starting to feel _bad_. As in… like she was… _feeling_.

She scoffed under her breath, her eyes focusing back on the little run down bar – the bartender knocked unconscious and strewn over the wooden bar next to her, eight or nine of the customers in various states of unconsciousness but she never killed them. Not even one. What the _hell_ was up with that?

Maybe Stiles was right… maybe she was acting pretty pathetic. She was starting to feel it too, sitting here all on her lonesome feeling _regret_. Yuck. It was like something out of a soap opera.

"You could be anything you want and you're in this place?" a half confused, half disgusted voice rang out and she didn't even bother glancing over, "don't tell me you're turning human again?"

"No" she sighed, "just thinking. I wanted some peace and these idiots-" she waved her hand out at the unconscious figures sprawled around her, "-wouldn't shut up. So I made them"

"Not permanently" Juan added in amusement, "wouldn't it be so much easier to just kill them? Humans are like flies, needing eradicated"

"They actually help control the insect population otherwise we'd be overrun" she shrugged, still kinda half out of it, "how did you all find me?"

Her three cousins (and cousins was stretching it, they just liked to call each other that because their ancestors were some crazy powerful royals or whatever) each sent her an identical look of smugness which she _hated_.

"We felt you" Juan smirked, "we united our power remember?"

"How could I forget?" she mumbled bitterly, pushing herself to her feet and almost falling flat on her face as she did so, grabbing the stool to stabilise herself.

"Natália has raised some concerns she has for you" Juan said sternly, "she thinks you're going soft"

"I think _Natália_ is getting me confused with some of the guys she _just_ can't satisfy" she sniped back much to her cousin's disapproval, her lips pulling back into a fierce snarl.

"Now now girls, no need for a cat fight" Andrès smirked, taking a hold of Natália's elbow and jolting her back, "we're a family, remember?"

Kayla rolled her eyes, drunkenly swigging some more whiskey, "yeah yeah, _whatever_ "

"Seems _someone_ doesn't want to be a part of a team" Juan observed, smirking a little as she stumbled again and had to lean back against the bar, "there's no 'I' in team, remember cousin?"

"No, but there is 'me'" she shot back, "and she was the one that threatened my… my _person"_ she said, "I told you all that Stiles is _off_ limits"

"He really shouldn't be" Juan smirked, "he's human, humans aren't worth anything"

"I'm not having this discussion" she snapped, because even now, even after her annoyance at Stiles and his anger at her, she still couldn't let anything happen to him for the strangest reason, "if any _one_ of you lays even a _hand_ on him I'll raise hell to make you _all_ suffer, do you understand?"

Natália smirked, "three against one? You stand no chance, little girl"

"Don't test me" she muttered darkly, "you've all lived for what, twenty years? Twenty two? I've existed for _centuries_ in hell, I know things that would break even the strongest of people and _none_ of you would be able to handle the hell I _can_ and _will_ unleash – and yes" she added, raising the half empty bottle and raising it to them, like she was finishing a toast, "that _is_ a threat"

And Juan had the nerve to laugh. Like a full belly laugh and she just narrowed her eyes, anger and fury running through her veins as she felt fire well in her stomach, flooding through her entire being and she vaguely felt the walls of the beat down bar begin to shake, picture frames and glasses falling from the shelves and walls and crashing to the tiled floor.

"Like I said-" she snarked, "-I won't hesitate to _destroy_ you"

"Oh calm down" Natália rolled her eyes, hardly even flinching at the mini earthquake Kayla was creating, "your human is safe - for now"

"No, not for now, _forever_ " Kayla repeated.

"Why do you care so much anyway?" Juan asked curiousity, tilting his head to the side, "he destroyed you"

"No" Kayla shook her head softly, "I did that to myself" her anger cooling down as the bar stopped shaking, tiredly placing the bottle of whiskey on the bar and sighing loudly, "so what do you want? Don't play dumb" she added, rolling her eyes as they never replied, "you obviously tracked me down for some reason"

Juan smirked, "a peace offering"

"Oh?" She quirked her brow, not amused in the least.

He grinned, glancing behind him and inclining his head and Kayla didn't realise before but there was a girl, probably no older than twenty, standing behind them but she soon swayed forward at his instruction, a playful smile dancing on her lips.

"She's a Victoria secrets model" Andrès winked, "and she tastes _amazing_ "

Kayla eyed up the bite marks all over the girl's neck, pursing her lips, "I'm guessing you're not talking about eating her out"

"Well... That too" he smirked, eyes glinting, "don't tell me you haven't felt that bloodlust yet?"

She shrugged, "can't say human flesh appeals to me"

"It will" he teased, dark eyes glinting mischeviously, stepping up behind the model with no name and placing his hands on her shoulders, "she's a present from us to you, an ice breaker if you will"

"You haven't wrapped it very well" she commented, the tall slim redhead standing there in just a wrap around short dress that just screamed 'tacky'. But maybe that was the glitter and sequences. Ew, barf.

"It's what's inside that count" Andrès' amusement was apparent as he pushed the girl forward, "so have at her and then we'll call it even"

She folded her arms, "and what exactly am I supposed to do with _that?"_ She nodded to the redhead who, quite frankly, looked more than a little out of it.

"Fuck her, kill her, who cares" Juan took over, "don't you like our gift?"

She remembered all those days ago Stiles' words about playing their game until she was in a position to get one up on them so forced a playful smile on her lips, stepping forward to tug the girl towards her.

"Of course I do" she let her eyes glow green, "I always have a thing for redheads"

"Thought so" Juan looked pleased, satisfied that she wasn't being difficult, "take Lydia Martin for example"

Kayla just shrugged, "like I said - redheads. So you can leave us to it, thanks. I'm in the mood for some alone time"

Juan half bowed, smirking at her, "of course cousin, have fun"

Her smile was enough to light up any room but it was fake, forced, "of course. Thank you"

One by one her cousins left and only when she was sure they had departed and didn't intend to come back she dropped her smile and cocked a brow at the redhead, giving her a quick glance over.

"What's your name?"

"Samantha" she smirked flirtatiously, "at your service"

Kayla rolled her eyes, batting away the girl's hands as they tried to tug at her clothes, knowing that she was totally out of it as her cousins had probably seduced her into doing god knows what, most likely against her will and as ' _evil_ ' as Kayla was right now she wasn't into _that_. She preferred her participants willing, not compelled like slaves. Casual sex? Sure. A little torture? She was up for that. Murder? Pffft, that was chill, but seducing someone for sex or whatever kind of blood sucking, flesh eating kink they had was _so_ not on.

"Yeah yeah, that's nice, now look at me" she tilted Samantha's head up, cupping her flushed cheeks and kept that bright luminous green burning through her irises, "you're going to forget _everything_ that happened tonight and you're going to go back to your shitty life as a lingerie model and not step foot in Beacon Hills again, are we clear?"

The girl was getting lost in her gaze, her jaw slackening as she seemed fascinated and Kayla just rolled her eyes, snapping her fingers in front of her face and breaking the compulsion.

"Understand?"

"Uh..." The girl frowned, glancing around in confusion before wincing and raising a hand to touch her bruised and bloody neck, "oh _god_ , what happened?"

And Kayla felt herself softening a little, picking up her car keys off the bar and thrusting the cool metal into Samantha's hand, "trust me, you don't want to know" because she thought she was bad with everything she had done but _never_ had she crossed the line her cousins had, using some innocent girl for their own pleasure without her willingness, "here, take my car and leave and don't come back to this god forsaken town. You'll thank me for that advice later"

The girl, Samantha, muttered a quiet and fearful thanks before escaping in a scurry and maybe she felt sympathy for her because Kayla herself had been in her position, having Brian turn her own powers against her and had felt guilty and sickened for days and weeks after, whoever that girl was or whatever job she worked, she didn't deserve to remember that.

So with a confused and tired sigh she just sat back on the bar stool, eyes trailing over every single one of the customers that were still knocked out, debating whether she should slap them awake but just rolled her eyes and picked up the half empty bottle of whiskey and took another gulp, drowning away the loneliness she was sure was starting to ebb its way into her life.

* * *

"You okay Stiles?"

He peered up from his computer chair, having not slept a wink the previous night, having only just got back from the lakehouse in the late hours of the morning, "not really, no" he murmured, glancing back down at the rubex cube he was toying with to keep his restless fingers busy.

"Has something happened?" His dad asked carefully, "do you want to talk about it?"

He sighed, rubbing at his tired eyes and pushed the rubex cube away from him, meeting his dad's concerned gaze, "I just... I don't know if I can get her back" he admitted, "I'm trying everything that I can but it doesn't seem to be enough. Every time I think I'm getting through to her she goes and messes it all up again. I'm trying to be the bigger person and not let it get to me and keep trying but it.. It hurts. _She's_ hurting me"

His dad knew this was a serious conversation, sensing his son was near tears so moved into the room and sat on the double bed, beckoning him forward to sit next to him and Stiles obliged tiredly, dragging his feet.

"Do you still love her?" The sheriff asked quietly, "do you see the good in her, not just the bad?"

"Yeah... That's why it's killing me" his shoulders were slumped in exhaustion, "because I keep putting myself out there but then she goes and sleeps with Isaac or _Donovan_ " he scoffed the last name, resisting rolling his eyes.

"Isaac?" His dad asked, totally shocked, "she... And he..."

"Yeah" he replied with glumly, "in your jail cell too"

"Okay _that_ I didn't expect" his dad didn't even bother hiding his horror, "I thought he was over her?"

"Me and you both. But that's not even the worst of it - that I can forgive because I get that's she's not herself and sex in her messed up head isn't a big deal, but when she... When she gives me hope that maybe she'll try and fix herself, she reverts back to this... This _soulless_ creature that I don't even recognise as Kayla anymore"

"She could be scared?" His dad suggested, "having emotions can be overwhelming and that's in a normal human life, I dread to think what it would be like trying to compartmentalise the horrors that happened when she was dead"

"I get that, I do" he nodded, "but having no emotions it's made her... Her weak" he frowned as he said that, "before she was one of the strongest people I knew. She picked herself up and carried on and used her feelings to make herself better, but this Kayla is not accepting what happened. She's in denial. She's choosing the easy way out"

"Do you think you can help her?"

"Before last night I thought there was a chance but now... I'm not too sure. We uh, we fought" he admitted, "and maybe what I said was harsh but I still stick to it and now she probably hates me more than ever. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if she was out there screwing anything with a heartbeat just because she can"

"I'll always have a soft spot for that kid" the sheriff smiled lightly, "she's apart of the family, maybe that's why I haven't done anything about her... Crimes" he admitted carefully, "and sometimes there is no hope for people but I think with Kayla... I think there is"

Stiles glanced up, frowning at his dad, "you truly believe that?"

"Yes" his dad nodded firmly, "and I know you do too"

Stiles sighed and wrung his hands together, "it's just exhausting, that's all. And it... It's killing me"

His dad placed his hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently as a sign of support, "you have to decide what's best for you. If you think you can let her go and move on then by all means do it, but if you feel totally invested in her, if you still love her and have faith in her then maybe you just have to keep trying"

"I... Of course I love her" Stiles whispered, "and I always will, I just... I don't know" he rubbed at his eyes again, "it's confusing"

"I get that" his dad smiled sympathetically, dropping his hand and placing them in his lap, "I don't know how you kids do it - all of this supernatural stuff"

"Nor do I" Stiles admitted, "but uh... Kayla she said... She said that if she had a chance to reverse everything that happened, let me die instead... She wouldn't do it. Even now she would still save me"

"I think that girl is in denial of what she really feels" his dad murmured, "but you have to decide what you want, what you're doing now, it isn't healthy" he added softly, "help her or let her go... What's it to be son?"

"We've been through so much... So much death and destruction, pain, losing a baby-" his throat closed up a little, his gaze dropping to the floor, "-she went to hell for me just so I could live... I can't just give up. She's my world"

The sheriff smiled gently, glad he was finally realising what he wanted and was finding his footing in this very screwed up sitution, "then show her" he said simply, "be truthful and honest but most of all, be patient" he advised, "she's not going to change overnight. Reversing years of pain and misery won't be easy and she will keep pulling away because it's safer. Can you do that?"

There were times he did feel like giving up but then he saw a picture of the two of them or a happy memory passed through his mind and he would yearn for that back. He wanted _her_ back. And he knew Kayla, the _real_ Kayla, would want that too. She would do anything not to be the person she was now. She would hate it.

"I... I think... Yeah" he settled on saying, nodding a little, "how is it possible to kinda hate someone but love them wholeheartedly at the same time?"

"I think you feel that because you know you can't be a couple, but you don't want to let her go either. You hate the sitution, the things she does, but you love her at her core, the person she was and want her to be again"

"Wow, since when did you become a psychologist?" Stiles tried to inject a little humour into the conversation, smirking gently.

"Its called old age" his dad smiled before sending him a gentle look, "are you going to be alright?"

"Alright is pushing it a bit but I'll cope" his dad still didn't look convinced, a worried frown tugging at his brows, "dad, I promise... I'm okay"

He nodded in acceptance, "maybe you should try and get some sleep? You look dead on your feet"

"Flattering" he smirked, "but uh, I actually need a favour" and his dad cocked a brow, "Kayla's staying at a hotel but I don't which one... Is there any chance you can find out?"

His dad smiled, "I'm sure that's something I can do. Come on, let's go to the station"

* * *

Turns out she was staying at the Monsoon hotel and spa just along the outskirts of town and let him tell you something, it wasn't cheap. It was the kind of place rich people and businessmen went to stay but it shouldn't surprise him - Kayla went and spent $300,000 on a frigging car, why wouldn't she splash out on a fancy hotel.

He parked his crappy old jeep next to a fancy Jaguar, the owner of the car, some posh blonde lady, threw him a dirty look but he just shrugged and entered the lobby, his jaw slackening a little at the large reception, marble floors and pillars leading up to the fancy oak desk.

"Wow..."

"You lost young man?"

He jumped, craning his neck back to look at the tall broad porter man, dressed in a maroon suit with a suspisious frown tugging at his brows.

"Uh no, no sorry I'm just heading up to room 254 but uh, thanks" he added awkwardly, turning left to make his way to the silver elevators.

"Young man" the guy called out again and he winced, turning around and trying to look innocent, "wrong lift" he pointed right instead, "the top floor uses _that_ lift"

Holy crap, how fancy _was_ this place? It was probably hundreds of dollars a night.

"Um, yeah sorry I-I knew that" he stuttered, stumbling past the porter, "sorry, brain fog, thanks for the help... I guess"

He pretty much ran to the lift, continously pressing the little button until it dinged and raced in before the porter clocked on that he wasn't supposed to be here and called the security guards or the secret service, whatever a posh place like this had, and plastered a wide nervous smile on his face as the lift doors closed.

Phew, thank gosh.

On the ride up he thought about everything he wanted to say, about how mad and hurt he was, how badly she had screwed his head up but that he was still here and he wasn't going to leave until she admitted she was in the wrong and how feeling was better than shutting everything out, that she should stop pretending and admit she had felt and it wasn't _all_ bad. Past that he had no idea where their conversation would go, maybe she would kick him out, maybe she would be too busy screwing an entire soccer team up there to hear him out but he had to _try_.

The elevator jolted to a stop and he stepped out, carefully making his way down the corridor until he pinpointed her room and took a long deep breath before knocking, mentally preparing himself.

It didn't take long for the door to open and his eyes widened a little as he saw Kayla standing there in just a fluffy white towel, her newly dyed shorter blonde streaked hair sticking to her neck, beads of water still fresh on her tan skin.

His stomach plummeted, "Uh... Am I interrupting something?"

She rolled her eyes, pulling back the door so he could see the entire empty room, just some fancy furniture, a four poster bed, a large TV on the wall and a balcony directly opposite him, "yes, as you can see I'm having a _fabulous_ swingers party" she remarked, "now what are you doing here?"

"I uh... I wanted to talk to you"

"Hmmm, how about no?" She rolled her eyes, preparing to slam the door in his face, "goodbye Stiles"

But his hand shot out and grabbed the door, stopping it from closing and she seemed a little shocked at the strength he had, frowning at his hand before narrowing her eyes at him in suspision.

"I wasn't asking" he said quietly but filled with determination and authority, "and you're going to hear me out, whether you like it or not"

She pursed her lips in thought, not looking entirely thrilled by his presence or his tone of voice but after a few seconds of deliberation just sighed and swung the door open, sarcastically extending her arm.

He cleared his throat, slowly walking over the threshold and glancing around the room curiously as she shut and locked the door.

"Is there something I can help you with?"

He turned back around, trying not to let his eyes trail over her body wrapped in that flimsy short towel but noticed whatever marks Donovan had made on her body, whether it be from his hands or mouth, were almost completely gone.

"I uh... You're..."

"Anyday now would be _great_ Stiles"

He gulped, much more nervous than he expected, "I stick to what I said last night. Every word of it"

"Good to know" she narrowed her eyes, "so my _pathetic_ self would appreciate it if you got your ass out of my hotel room"

" _But_ -" he emphasised, "-that doesn't mean I still don't want to help you. What you're doing, sleeping with all those people because you think you need to and rubbing it in my face _is_ a pathetic thing to do. I mean who the hell facetimes their ex when their riding another guys dick?" He questioned, "low blow"

"I was _trying_ to get you to hate me" she said through clenched teeth.

"Well you just hurt me instead" he snapped, "having you back is supposed to be a happy time but all you've done is cause me pain"

She didn't look amused, in fact she just looked slightly ticked off, "are we done yet?"

"No" he shook his head, "we're done when I say we are" and she had to do a double take at his attitude, slightly happy he had finally grown a backbone, "I need you to understand how badly you've hurt me. How much you've destroyed me!"

"I don't understand" she murmured, "I see it, I'm not stupid, but I don't understand. I don't get why you're hurt"

No emotions hence no understanding of them and their effects, of course. _Duh_.

"Because when you love someone with _every_ atom of your being and put so much effort into a-a relationship, into loving and helping them and then they act like it meant nothing, like it _still_ doesn't, it hurts" he explained softly, "you're acting like everything we had meant _nothing_ when I know that's not true. I meant what I said, before you died... We weren't just 'good', we were the best. And when you have something as special as what we had you don't just throw it away, you fight for it"

She was stunned into silence, watching him warily, "that was the past Stiles. We were both different people"

"I still love you" he whispered, "hate you too at the same time, it's weird. But I think, no, I _know_ that my Kayla is still in there"

"Not what you said last night" she rolled her eyes, folding her arms across her towel covered chest, "you said it was too late to feel stuff - the damage had already been done"

"I was just mad. And jealous" he added, "my anger these days gets carried away and when I heard Donovan talking about you like that and saw... Saw what he did to you I... I guess I let my jealously run ahead of me. The thought of you with him..." He shivered, "I can't even think about it"

"At the time I thought it was a good idea" she explained, "I don't even know why but after... I was laying there and my chest it-it hurt" she peered across at him, "it was like I was feeling bad and that confuses me because I've never... Sex is supposed to be fun and casual... I don't know why I regretted it"

"That's a good thing"

She cocked a brow in confusion, "negative emotions are a good thing?"

 _"Yes"_ he exclaimed, "feeling  anything, full stop, is a good thing"

She still looked bitter however, rolling her eyes, "well thanks for the insight and pep talk but I would really rather it if you just left" she shrugged, "I have a hangover from hell and need some sleep, a deep and meaningful talk with you isn't on my list of priorities right now"

He now realised how rough she looked, dark circles etched under her eyes but didn't flinch at her biting tone, just embraced it remembering that although she was Kayla she wasn't the same one he knew, she was different and he had to learn to accept that.

"I'll get you some water" he bowed his head, walking over to the mini fridge and opened it but let his eyes widen as he saw mini bottle after mini bottle of alcoholic spirits and just snorted, pulling back to reach for a glass and turn the tap on, "jeez, do you live off alcohol or something?"

"It helps with the nightmares" she said tiredly, not realising what she said as he handed her the glass.

"Nightmares?" He questioned curiously, "you're still getting nightmares?"

She looked as though she was kicking herself at that little slip, jaw clenched as she took a sip of the fresh water, "I was tortured in hell for the better part of three centuries, of course I get nightmares" she replied offhandedly, "we can't control ourselves when we sleep, that's when our deepest darkest secrets and fears come out to play" she murmured darkly before taking another mouthful of water and passing it back to him.

He clearly didn't get whatever hint she was giving him because he heard her let out an exasperated sigh and roll her eyes.

"Are you going to leave anytime soon or...?"

"No" he replied with gently, "I had a whole other part of a speech planned out..."

"Yeah, well, talk as I get dressed" she murmured, padding over to the wooden box at the end of the bed and opened it, throwing out some random bed clothes onto the mattress.

"I know that-that your emotions are there. I've seen them, hell I've felt them. Like yesterday in the jeep, remember that?"

She rolled her eyes again as she dropped the towel, "yes Stiles, I'm heartless - I haven't got amnesia" she snarked but he just gulped at the sight of her naked body, trying to not let his dark gaze trail over every inch of her figure and it took a couple of seconds to snap himself from the daze, dropping his stare to the floor.

"Well uh, that-that uh... It was like old times. I enjoyed it and I know you did too. You didn't have that guard up like you do now. And I know you meant what you said about regretting sleeping with Donovan, I heard it in your voice last night I was just too pissed off to realise it straight away"

"Oh for god sake's Stiles, you've seen me naked hundreds of times, don't go all gentleman on my ass now" he gulped but glanced up shyly at her tone.

"Uh right, sorry-" he apologised, cheeks flushing as she watched her tug on a pair of bed shorts, shimmying into the silk material, "I was uh... I was saying that... You... And me... You feel... I think... Emotions..."

"You've also seen my boobs hundreds of times too Stiles" she murmured in complete exasperation, leaning over to grab a tank top, "don't go and get all tongue tied"

But that's not what he was staring at. He reached forward, grabbing her arm before she could pull the top over her head and gently pushed it away, frowning down at her stomach.

"Stiles...?"

He felt a rush of tears surge forward but blinked them back, his gentle lanky fingers trailing from the middle of her bare chest all the way down her torso, circling her belly button before tracing the small puncture scars left on her skin, the whitened scar tissue reflecting against her lightly bronzed skin.

"You still have them" he whispered, "I uh, I wasn't sure. When I got a new body all my scars disapeared but yours... Yours are still here" he bit his lip and glanced up, meeting her anxious stare, "remember what we had... What we _could've_ had?"

"Can we not go there?" She asked, sounding drained and tired, her previous snappiness forgotten, "not now"

But he never let up, continuing despite her uncomfortableness.

"You would've been six and half months gone by now" he whispered, still touching the damaged skin with the tips of his fingers, "we would've felt her kick and everything and I would've finished painting the nursery like I promised. It would've been amazing"

"Exactly - _would've_ " she emphasised, "it never happened"

"I wanted it to" he admitted, "and you did too"

"Stiles... What is this?" She whispered, cocking her head to the side in exhaustion, "why are you dragging up the past of the baby we lost? We moved past that"

"Did we really though?" He shrugged, "I don't think you did"

"I did" she claimed, "and anyway... It's not even like it was a-a baby" she mumbled but she sounded unsure and out of her comfort zone, "and maybe it was for the best - no one wants to be teenage parents"

He glanced at her pityingly, sympathy shining in his stare, "you can tell yourself that as often as you like but I know you... I know under that defensive, hard exterior you wanted... You wanted a baby" he said simply, "and we had one for a short time. And then we didn't"

Her expression softened, "yeah, well, shit happens" and he couldn't sworn her voice was more nasally than normal, like she was holding back tears, "that's life and our lives suck"

He smiled sadly, "you never told me this... Not consciously anyway, and we never talked about it, but before you went into surgery you... You told me that if we had the baby you... You were gonna call her Claudia"

Her eyes widened in shock, a flash of pain soaring through her green gaze.

"I... I... But you... I..." It was the first time since she had been back he had seen her speechless, "why are you telling me all this?"

"Because this-" he nodded down to her bare torso, reaching out with his free hand and guided hers over his that lay over the scars, "-this is proof of what we had, what we _still_ could have - a life together. A normal one" he added, "and I know you want that. You say you don't but I know better. Three kids, a couple of dogs, nice house... Tell me to my face you don't want it and I might believe you"

Her eyes were glassy and shiny from tears but as she went to open her mouth nothing came out, the words dying in the back of her throat. She couldn't say it. She couldn't say it because a part of her craved normal, craved it with _him_.

"I love you" he mumbled, "even after all the shitty mistakes you've made and there's been a few. I love the girl I made a baby with and I know somewhere, deep down, she loves me too"

Her bottom lip wobbled slightly, shaking her head softly, "I'm... Im too far gone" she admitted, breathing shaky, "I'm a lost cause"

"No, no you're not" he shook his head softy, still holding her hand to her stomach as he raised his free one and cupped her cheek, bringing her bare chest flush against his, "I see that now. I'm not going to give up because I _want_ to have that life with you. You're the only person I want it with"

"But I... I've hurt you" she whispered, "you shouldn't forgive me"

A crystal tear broke away from her eyelid, streaking down the corner of her eye, "Hey... Don't cry" he murmured, wiping her under eye with his thumb, "don't worry about me, I'll be fine, I just need you to promise you'll try... You'll try and feel again, and not for me but for yourself? Can you promise me that?"

"What if I mess up?" She wondered, "what if I fuck everything up again?"

"Then I'll be there to help, but only if you try"

She peered up at him, tears clinging to her eyelashes and although she was still guarded, a stone cold look still hiding deep in her stare he had never seen her look so vulnerable since she died in his arms.

"I'll... I'll try" she whispered and he breathed a sigh of relief, sliding his hand into her hair and tilting her head forward, his lips dusting along her forehead, his thumb still tracing patterns over her scars, "I'll try"

His hard work had paid off. He had, finally, found the turning point.

 **a)n) see guys I'm not all evil ha, Kayla's feelings is gonna be a slow and subtle process but so wrote it ha also did research in the whole love/hate thing and it's true and real, here's a wee extract - "hate serves as a channel of communication when other paths are blocked, and it functions to preserve the powerful closeness of the relationship, in which both connection and separation are impossible"**

 **haha anyways please please review I would love to hear what you think ha, also have a poll on my profile and would appreciate the feedback if you could spare a few seconds, thanks lovelies, you're all amazinf see you soon xxx**


	18. Chapter 18 - DNA

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any way shape or form (waaaah cries for eternity) anyways thank you so much for all those that favourited followed and reviewed including Amandalucia, 19irene96, XxxXCherriesXxxX, linda96, Guest, zvc56, Tazytara, wallflower for reviewing I love and appreciate you all so much you have no idea haha also thanks for voting on the poll, got a new one up to do with smut so if you could spare a few seconds to vote that would be fab, thank you, hope you enjoy this new chapter x**

She had finally let him through the chinks in her armour, let him crack down that wall she had built to protect herself and she wasn't quite sure how she felt about that.

In a way it was a relief to not be so defensive and hard-headed, her lonely heart slowly filling with warmth that she hadn't felt in so damn long, having gotten used to icy cold that enveloped her entire being but at the same time she found her body prickling with uncomfortableness – this, forcing herself to feel, to open herself up, was _way_ out of her comfort zone by a billion light years. Erasing years, decades, _centuries_ of torture and misery and destroyed self-worth weren't just magically erased or forgotten and would be a hard thing to overcome but she promised she would try and if there was one thing Kayla Hale didn't break was her promises.

"This… this is a good thing" Stiles whispered, pulling back and tilting her head up, "it's like a-a step in the right direction"

"Or wrong direction depending on what way you look at it" she mumbled.

"I have faith in you" he said quietly, trying for a small smile as he cupped her cheek, "it's not going to be easy but… but I really feel like this is best for you"

"Maybe" she hummed out, glancing down at their feet, "I just don't want to break again. Because I know that if I do… that's it. Game over" she peered up at him again, watching as he frowned in concern, "because by not feeling, by being this person it means surviving"

"But not living" he uttered gently, deep brown eyes sincere and calm, "there's a difference"

"Just… just promise me one thing?" and he nodded in response, bringing his body closer to hers as she gnawed on her bottom lip in contemplation, eyes swimming with apprehension, "if I do… if I can't handle it – if I break and the pieces can't be put back together then please… don't let me go back there"

"Back where?" he asked softly, frown deepening, "to the nogitsune? Kaylz you've escaped him-"

"No not him. Eichen house" she muttered, "I would rather die again than go back there. That place is… it's living hell and I've had enough of that for several lifetimes"

"I…" he paused, like he finally realised what the consequences of what he was asking her to do was, faltering a little as he gazed down at her and almost asked her not to do it but steeled himself – no, Kayla _had_ to be Kayla again, no matter what happened. It was what she would want, he just had to be strong and ensure that happened.

"I… I promise" he whispered, "no matter what happens you won't go back there. You have my word"

She breathed a sigh of relief, nodding in acceptance and didn't even realise she automatically found herself trusting him because a part of her recognised it as something so natural, so right.

"I uh… I can't just, you know-" she met his expectant stare, clicking her fingers, "-make myself like the old me, especially when I actually kinda want to kill people" she added, "mainly Kate, but also Peter. And maybe that dickhead on CBS"

He half smirked, "I don't expect things to be all rainbow and candy canes right away. I only asked you to try"

"Okay, and maybe in the mean time you can explain, y'know, feelings" she stepped back, "like yours" she added, "make me understand them because I'm coming up blank. I've been heartless for way too long"

"… O-Okay" he stuttered a little, well aware the intimate moment had been broken and she was standing in front of him with a cocked eyebrow as she waited for him to reply but his shock was soon turning into awe as he tried not to look anywhere but her eyes, suddenly very aware of her state of attire – or rather _lack of_ , her topless figure just casually _there_.

He blushed, coughing to clear his throat, "Uh… w-what do you want to know um, e-exactly?"

"Everything" she said bluntly, "because I really don't get it. Like at all"

He diverted his eyes as she caught onto what the problem was, raising her eyebrows as she pointed to her breasts, "like that, what you're doing now, I don't get it. It's boobs, rather nice ones if I do say so myself, ones that you've seen a lot of – why are you looking away?"

"Because it's… polite?"

"When have you _ever_ been polite?"

"There's been times" he mumbled out in a rush before brushing past her side to grab her tank top, "it just, I don't know, it feels wrong kind of, especially when we're not, you know, together. That and looking at you like that when I'm in love with you just does things to me"

She frowned in confusion but accepted the blue tank top, rolling her eyes as she tugged it over her head and he just screwed his eyes shut until he was sure it was on, wiping at the back of his neck as he peeled his eyes open.

"Good. That's-that's good. Better. Much better" he said, totally flustered.

"You think I look better with clothes on?" she asked in confusion, totally missing the point, "because I, for one, think I look amazing naked"

"So do I, I was just… I wasn't meaning… you do… uh, never mind" realising this was one of those things she just didn't get. She was chill with her state of undress and didn't recognise the feelings and emotions that went along with that - lust, want, protectiveness, the list went on.

"This is all very strange" she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm uh… I'm not very good at explaining things" he decided to take the lead, perching himself on the edge of the bed as she did the same, "but I mean… you've felt things, haven't you?"

"I guess so. Kind of" she shrugged, "I don't know what they are exactly, but whatever they are they just… it feels like my gut is sore and my heart beats faster. It's not very pleasant"

"What was it like when I… when we… when we talked about our baby?" he wondered, knowing that when he brought that up he saw her act vulnerable, be _actually_ empathetic which was more than he had seen her be after killing or sleeping with a bunch of strangers.

She froze for a second, meeting his soft stare, "like my entire body had been dunked in ice water… uncomfortable I guess"

"Sad?" he questioned, knowing he felt that himself.

She frowned, thinking it over, "I… I don't know. It felt not right anyway whatever it was, like that feeling when you miss a step. Explain it to me" she cocked her head to the side, "tell me how you felt"

His breath caught in his throat, his palms starting to prickle with sweat, "painful. And not like sharp pain, no, dull and pulsating all through my body, everywhere" he said simply, trying for a small smile, "constantly"

"Well that doesn't sound fun" she commented, "I thought you're supposed to be pro emotions?"

"I'm very pro emotions" he mumbled, "but the bad pales in comparison to the good. To being happy, like the sun on your skin, ice cream on your tongue, good music, that's what feeling good is like"

"I do like the sun" she nodded, "and ice cream – mi-"

"-Mint choc chip, yeah I know" his lips quirked, "so imagine all that at once. That's what happy is"

"… Hmmm" she mumbled in contemplation, "interesting"

"That stirred up nothing did it?"

"Nada, zilch, jack-all" she replied immediately, shrugging a single shoulder, "I just feel… normal. Not bad, not guilty but not happy either. Just-" she raised her arm, pulling her flat hand across in a vertical line, "-consistent. Well-" she continued, "-a little horny actually but what I now understand from you is that's physical and not really emotional"

"Well it can be emotional too" he said carefully, trying not to confuse her, "emotional sex is about connecting where as physical sex is just, well… it's just physical… what do you think you want?"

She pursed her lips, "physical. Sex is like a drug, I need it. Or I think I need it, I haven't really figured that out yet"

He tried to not let his disappointment show, nervously wringing his hands together.

"That's why I'm fine, or was fine, sleeping with all those people – because it meant nothing, they were nothing to me. And then I… I felt bad. Maybe because I want emotional sex too, I don't know, but I can't seem to get it. There's nothing between me and those other people. Not like what we had"

He blushed a little, not dropping his gaze despite the nervousness he felt.

"Relax-" her lips quirked, "-I know you don't want to have sex with me. I respect that. I'm not like the others-" the 'others' being her deranged cousins who she was seriously starting to regret, "-that take what they want"

"It's not that I don't-" because he totally did, "-I just-"

"I know" she interrupted gently, "and I'll… wow I can't believe I'm saying this but I'll try and restrain myself" he frowned, wondering what an earth she meant, "around potential sex buddies" she clarified, "I'm not going to promise anything but I'll try and stick to masturbating"

"You-you will?" he was shocked, his jaw agape.

" _Try_ being the key word" she emphasised, "but I guess… maybe what you said is right. Maybe I am more than just sex"

"You are" he said gently.

"So do you mind if I-" she nodded down to her silk shorts and his cheeks immediately flared red at the suggestion, his eyes going wide, "-because all this talk of sex has really made me super horny and I'm starting to get really inappropriate thoughts about that waiter I screwed the other night"

… And it was back to the blunt Kayla.

"Uh… s-sure" because touching herself was a _way_ better thought that someone else touching her at any rate, "um… I'll just-" he pointed awkwardly to the other side of the room, diverting her gaze.

"You've also seen me do this lots of times too. In fact I was rather sure you enjoyed it – or wait, is this one of those things I don't understand?"

"Yup" he nodded awkwardly, springing to his feet as he scratched the back of his neck, keeping his back turned, "just um… do your thing"

He was sure he heard her chuckle as she fell back on the bed, the sound of her silk shorts sliding down her legs causing Goosebumps to erupt all over his skin as he tried to busy himself with something – _anything_ – to distract himself so he could at least _try_ and forget his girlfriend – ex girlfriend, whatever – was rubbing one out less than ten feet away from him.

"This is so not awkward" he whispered to himself, playing with the taps as the water turned on and off, watching it disappear down the drain as he heard Kayla whimper, "yup, not awkward at all"

He felt his back begin to sweat, his pale sticky skin sticking to the thin fabric of his tee under his shirt at the sound of her breathless moans, knowing he was getting sucked into the whole sexual arousal thing, partly because of what she was, her seductress vibes spilling from her and enticing him where as the other was because, oh yeah, he was head over heels in love with her and she had _finally_ made a breakthrough in the whole 'no emotions' thing. Could the turning point _actually_ turn into a full-scale change of direction back into their lives where she was actually good? Hell even neutral would be fine with him. It seemed too good to be true but he had to have hope, especially now.

He gulped loudly as her whimpers increased, mumbling things to herself as she worked herself closer and closer to the edge and just when he was about to stick his fingers in his ears because, oh my god, turned on much? He heard her say something breathlessly that had him swivelling around in shock.

He was sure she just said his name.

It looked like she didn't even realise, her eyes screwed shut in concentration, cheeks flushed and perspiration building on her forehead. She said it in such a way that it wasn't just sexual but filled with desire and yearning, like she was wanting more. Almost as if she was wanting, subconsciously, to be vulnerable with him.

His embarrassment faded as the knot in his stomach tightened, staring across at her because right now she wasn't some girl that had been to hell and back, someone that willingly slept around or killed without mercy, who didn't really think or care about the consequences she was just Kayla. He recognised the old her in there, the parts he loved and the parts he sometimes wanted to roll his eyes at.

He bit his lip, slowly moving his feet until he sitting on the edge of the bed, gazing down at her but she was completely distracted, those beautiful alluring moans getting caught in her throat.

His breath caught as he leaned down, hovering over her arching body and without even thinking had raised his hand and cupped her jawline line, his thumb swiping along her bottom lip to free it from her teeth, soothing the reddened and indented flesh.

"You know I like it when I can hear you" he murmured quietly and she stared up at him, her gaze falling to his lips.

"What-what are you doing?" she asked breathlessly, spreading her legs a little wider as she worked herself, "I thought you didn't want to have sex?"

"I don't" well he did, but he wouldn't, not now, not until he was one hundred percent absolutely sure she wouldn't fob him off and leave him heartbroken again because he was determined to be more than just a casual thing, "but… but I can't help but want to uh… to…" his stare fell to her plump lips, his tongue swiping out across his dry bottom lip as he yearned to feel her mouth against his, "you meant what you said before right? About trying?" he wanted just to clarify, to protect himself from whatever heartbreak could be waiting for him, "it wasn't a lie?"

She whimpered again, breaking his stare to gaze down at her body, feeling herself getting closer and closer to the edge.

"No lies" she gasped, cheeks flushing a deep red, "I-I can't promise results… but I'll try"

And that was good enough. For now.

He leaned down, pressing his chest against hers as he tilted her head up, capturing her lips in a slow deep kiss, savouring the moment and the taste of her mouth that he had craved for so long, finally feeling right as he kissed her, not like he was doing something wrong or he was being used.

She stuttered out a gasp, lips parting as her body shook in euphoria and her head spun, raising her free hand and tangling it through his thick hair, tugging at it gently as she, just for a moment, was sure she felt… something. Complete maybe. Content. Since she had been back everything had been consistent. She felt average. No ups, no downs. Not until recently at least but now, this, with him… well… it was, dare she say it… nice? Her heart rate spiked, her stomach plummeting as the full realisation dawned on her.

She was _enjoying_ spending time with him. She actually felt _okay_ with not having sex. She even found herself wanting to _talk_ , with _words_. What the hell was happening to her?

She didn't have time to dwell on it though because he broke the kiss, letting his tongue swipe across her bottom lip before slowly trailing his mouth across her jawline and down her neck, sucking sweet marks onto her sweaty skin as she shuddered again, vision tunnelling as she fisted his hair, trying to ground herself as she lost herself in mind blowing pleasure.

She moaned, throwing her head back as her stomach tightened, her hand slowing down as she lay there totally breathless but Stiles' lips didn't stop, they continued to move over her neck, kissing along her pulse point slowly, sweetly, passionately, _**tenderly**_ … it was mind boggling. No one had done something so selflessly since, well, for _ages_. Her hook-ups had been meaningless and straight to the point, no affection, just sex. But with Stiles it was… it was emotional.

And yes she just admitted that, shocker right?

She came down from her high slowly, peeling her eyes open as her vision slowly returned and Stiles pulled back gently, his heavy breathing hitting her flushed face.

"I uh… I'm sorry"

"Don't be" she whispered, "that was uh… I forgot how nice it felt. Just kissing"

He smiled a little, stroking her cheek, "I don't expect things to change overnight. I'm not stupid, but if you… if you hurt me again and you're not sorry about it, that's it. I'll be done with us. And not because I want to but because it'll be for the best"

"She frowned, gulping loudly, "I… I know" she admitted, "and Stiles... about Donovan-"

"I know" he cut her off, looking a little uncomfortable as she brought it up.

"And Isaac" she whispered and he diverted his gaze, "he was just acting so sad and needy. It was more a pity fuck than anything"

Despite the pain he felt as she talked about sleeping with his friend he had to smirk a little at that – pity fuck? Isaac had been demoted to a pity fuck? That was harsh but he enjoyed knowing that that was all it was. Isaac may have feelings for Kayla still, or maybe not, who knows, but Kayla felt nothing for him. That made him feel a little better about the whole thing.

"Why are you smirking?" she asked, looking amused.

"Pity fuck" he smiled, "that uh… I can't wait to tell him that"

"That's all it was" she whispered, "everyone I've been with it's just been physical. But this, even though it wasn't sex… well-" she added with a smirk, "-I was fingering myself but it was the most that I've… I've _felt_. Why do you have to be my Achilles heel?"

He cleared his throat, pushing himself up to sit, shrugging a single shoulder. He didn't know but he was and he loved that.

She broke his stare, looking a little overwhelmed and flustered as she, too, sat up, pulling on her shorts and swiped her shoulder length hair back from her sweaty face.

"Get some sleep" he advised quietly, "get rid of the hangover"

"You look tired too" she observed, "maybe you should be the one sleeping"

"I uh, I can't, school starts soon"

She smirked, "Stiles. It's Saturday"

"Oh" he mumbled, totally out of it, "it is?"

"Pretty sure" she moved over, pulling the duvet over her legs, "you can stay here if you want?"

His eyebrows rose high onto his forehead, his eyes going wide.

"No funny business" she smirked, "just sleep. Plus this bed _is_ super comfy"

"… How many people have you slept with in it?" not knowing if he would like the answer.

"The sheets gets changed every day" she promised, "so please hurry up and decide before I pass out"

"Uh… okay, sure" he kicked off his shoes, shrugged off his shirt and lay down on the mattress, tugging up the thick duvet around his body.

"Told you" she chuckled, "comfy"

They were about a foot apart and maybe, he thought, that was for the best. He had to control himself, hold back to show her just how serious he was about letting her go if she didn't try and change. It was for the best.

"Night Stiles" she smiled a little before turning over, her back to him and he watched this, eyes trailing over her body under the outline of the duvet and although he still hurt, still felt bitter about everything he thought that he was finally moving past that and forgiving her – slowly but surely.

"Night Kaylz"

* * *

He woke around two but Kayla was still sound asleep, cocooned in the duvet and wrapped in the top sheet literally looking like a burrito and he stared at her for a while, resting his head on his hand and was sure he was giving her a ton of heart eyes but managed to snap himself from that, shaking himself from his creepy staring.

Careful Stiles, he told himself, don't fall too far. Not yet. Not until he wholeheartedly trusted her not to completely rip his heart out again and stomp on it.

He got up and dressed him, running a hand through his wild and messed up bed hair and was debating about waking her up but a tired Kayla was a grumpy Kayla and maybe even a murderous Kayla and he didn't want to take his chances. He spotted a pad and paper next to the landline quickly scribbled out a note and left it on the pillow, simply saying 'thanks for trying, love you'. No kisses, no sappy love hearts, just simple and straight to the point.

He stared over at her again, letting a small smile tug at his lips before leaning over and pressing his lips softly to her forehead, stroking her frizzy hair back from her face.

"You better not mess this up Kaylz" he whispered, "for both our sakes"

* * *

"And the wanderer finally resurfaces" Lydia commented as he walked through the entrance to the loft, "what happened to you? You look like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards and several times over"

"I was uh… sleeping"

"On a Saturday?" Malia narrowed her eyes suspiciously as she gave him a thorough once over.

"I was tired" he near enough snapped, "why is it your business anyway?"

"Just being curious" she threw her hands up and rolled her eyes, still looking at him suspiciously as he slumped in and sat on the arm of the sofa next to Scott and Kira, avoiding Isaac's gaze who was seated on one of the steps of the spiral staircase and glanced across at Derek who was silhouetted against the large window.

"You look more broody than usual" he commented, cocking a brow.

"My cousin got resurrected and is now soulless, I have every right to be broody"

"Uh… emotionless" he corrected, "heartless even. She still has a soul" Derek glared at him, "I was just being specific"

"Her mom's funerals on Monday" Derek said through gritted teeth, "I don't know whether or not to go"

"Uh… not" Lydia said obviously, "she was a stone-cold bitch"

"Agreed" Stiles nodded.

"Yeah, even I agree with that" Scott mumbled, "maybe it's best to just stay clear"

Malia crossed her arms and strode over towards the sofa, her deep brown eyes analysing him carefully and he narrowed his eyes, glancing at Scott and Kira to see if they knew what her problem was but they just shrugged in advance.

"Why are you lying to us?" Malia huffed out, cocking her head to the side as she, no doubt, listened to his heart beat, trying to catch him out.

"I'm not" he peered up at her, "so back off"

"You are" she claimed stubbornly before leaning down to sniff around him and he just rolled his eyes, leaning back on the arm of the sofa.

"I would appreciate it if you stayed out of my personal space thanks" he snarked, resisting rolling his eyes in annoyance.

"You didn't mind me being in your personal space when we were making out"

Oh shit.

"Yeah, well…" he was getting flustered, suddenly very aware of the audience they had, even Isaac was staring over at him in shock, "that was different. Plus a very big mistake" he was sure she saw something close to hurt flash through her stare, "so don't make me ask you again. Back off"

"You were with her, weren't you?" she said, maybe out of spite to what he just said, her eyes flashing blue momentarily, "I can smell her all over you"

"Okay, fine. Fine, yes I was with Kayla. _Happy_ now?" he snapped, rising to his feet in anger and everyone literally flinched like 'oh crap, stay clear from an angry Stiles' except Malia never got that memo, tilting her chin up defiantly, "I was with her because I _wanted_ to be, because I'm _**actually**_ getting through to her so I would appreciate it if you minded your own god damn business"

"You heard what that Mexican woman said" Malia shouted in exasperation, "the dead should stay dead. She came back twisted and violent and _wrong"_

He raised an angry finger, pointing it in her face as Scott jumped to his feet, prepared to stop a fight before it could break out, "Don't you _dare_ Malia – if I _ever_ hear you speak like that again so help me god you're going to wish you stayed a damn werecoyote"

"Guys, stop it" Lydia's demanding tone pierced through the tension but they both ignored it, near enough nose to nose by this point.

"And I still would have been if it wasn't for _you"_ she screamed, "all of you" she glanced around the room, her eyes icy cold, "but I'm _trying_ to be a good human and I know that what she is doing is wrong. It's unnatural"

"And also not your concern"

"Guys, calm down" Kira spoke up, "Malia control yourself"

"She's a _monster"_

"She's _not a monster"_ he roared so deafeningly that everyone was stunned into silence, "she's broken and scared and in pain. She went through so much that you can't even _begin_ to _possibly_ understand, so don't you dare threaten her or it won't be her you'll have to face, it'll be me. Leave me to help her"

"Why? So we can be here to pick up the pieces again when she breaks your heart?"

"Maybe we should've just left you for the steel traps so your father could shoot you" regretting the words as soon as they were out his mouth.

" _Hey_ " Isaac spoke out, pushing himself to his feet with an alarmed look on his face, "don't talk to her like that"

"Oh look" Stiles muttered sarcastically, his voice bitter and full of loathing, "here comes your knight in shining armour, careful though he probably just wants into your pants"

"Stiles… you really need to calm down" Lydia said gently and Derek stepped up behind her, his eyes glazed over in worry and suspicion.

"I second that"

"I third that" a voice replied and they were all so caught up in the arguments they failed to notice Kayla walking in and cocking an eyebrow at them all, "wait, is that even an expression?"

"Kayla…" Derek murmured in shock, his jaw slowly slackening.

"Yup, that's me" she gave a sarcastic little bow, dressed in a cute pair of tight black ripped denim shorts and a rather revealing deep purple strappy top, her short hair now curled so it bobbed around her neck, "I was just dropping by to see if any of y'all have heard any news on Kate? I've been wanting to kill her for, like, ages now so…" her stare swivelled to his and he could've sworn there was a ghost of a smile on her lips, "I know I said I'd try but that bitch has severely grated on my nerves. I can kill her, right?"

"Uh…" he was so stunned by her casual appearance he didn't quite know what to say, "well-"

"Great" she broke out into an award winning smile, long legs eagerly gliding down the concrete steps, "so I'm guessing no, you _haven't_ heard anything?"

"Nothing" Derek confirmed.

"Shame, I was really looking forward to some neck snapping"

Malia snarled, her fists clenching at her sides in anger, "you should've stayed in hell"

"Wow, harsh" Kayla smirked, putting up that façade again, that care-free I don't give a shit attitude that Stiles now saw straight through, "and here I thought you and I were gonna be BFF's"

"Why is everyone even _listening_ to her?" Malia raged, "she's killed, she's tortured, she's worse than all of the bad guys I've heard you talk about – Peter-"

" _Hey"_ an offended voice shouted from upstairs and Stiles snapped his head up, "I can _hear_ you"

"-Gerard, Jennifer, even the _nogitsune"_

"Okay whoa, hold the phone" Kayla held out her hand, "the nogitsune is _way_ worse than me. I didn't even _know_ how to dissect the brain until he showed me using mine – I can teach you if you like"

"You're a bad person" Malia finished with, "and I can't understand why no one is trying to stop you"

"Maybe because I'm trying to change"

" _Change?"_ Malia scoffed in denial.

"Uh… yeah" Kayla snarked, crossing her arms as they had a standoff and in that moment they had _never_ seemed more alike – hot headed, angry, lethal and incredibly stubborn, their jawlines set and eyes like fire, "tell her Stiles"

All pairs of eyes settled on him, wanting the truth and he gulped before nodding, "it's uh… it's true"

"Then prepare to be disappointed" Malia shouted, "because she can't come back from everything she's done. This isn't a Disney movie-"

"We can put one on for you if you like" Kayla smirked, "I'm sure that childlike small brain of yours will enjoy it"

"-there is no happy ending" Malia continued on like she hadn't been interrupted, "and you're all delusional if you think there is" her eyes settled on him and he just clenched his jaw, angry that she was attacking his hope, "the girl you loved died in the school and she's still dead"

"Okay, you know what?" Kayla stepped forward, immediately defending him, "I'm getting real tired of your shit. I'll tell you why you're acting like this – it's because you're jealous" and Malia seemed to deflate at that, her eyes going wide and panicked, "you have a crush on him well good for you, welcome to the club. But here's a tip, try loosening up a bit and maybe ditch the claws" she added, snorting down at Malia's hands, "because they are in serious need of a manicure"

"I will _never_ be like you"

"Malia, Malia, Malia... if only you knew the truth then maybe you would adopt my motto" And then Kayla's eyes widened in appreciation, a smirk flitting across her face, "Good choice of words there... adopt" And Stiles shared a panicked look with everyone else, his heart racing in his chest, "You didn't _really_ murder your family because they were never yours in the first place" Kayla admitted, "But you're still a murderer... no doubt about that"

Malia frowned, glancing at them all in confusion before focusing back on Kayla, "what are you even talking about?"

Stiles' eyes went wide, trying to shake his head at Kayla but she was adamant and hard headed, her heated gaze focused and Malia and he knew he shouldn't have let it get this far – an angry Kayla, although trying to be tame and restrained, was still dangerous.

"We already have a lot in common, mainly DNA" she crossed her arms, totally pleased with herself at finally shutting that dumb bitch up, "welcome to the family-" before breaking out into a wide smile, _"-sis"_

 **A/N) UH OH THINGS ARE AHHHHHH ha hope you all liked, and what do you all think about kayla trying to change and AHH BOMBSHELL sisters ahahaha managed to get this up before I go away on placement gonna be super busy ahhhh but hope you all liked and please please review best gift ever haha see ya soon lovelies xxx**

 **Also new poll up about smut haha**


	19. Chapter 19 - Sentimental sap

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any way shape or form (cries) haha anyways a massive and thankful shout out to all those reviewed, you're fabulous, and to answer the question from wallflower the poll is at the very top of my profile, so sorry for the long chapter but hope you all enjoy ha x**

Okay _maybe_ she shouldn't have done that.

And yes she just admitted that, that was progress right? But she had said it, the cat was out of the bag now and there was no backtracking. She just got so damn mad at her, annoyance at the things she was saying spreading through her veins and she wanted something that would bring her world tumbling down around her.

Well she may have just gotten her wish.

"What?" Malia whispered, frowning at her before looking towards her friends, "what does she mean?"

No one answered, too shell shocked to admit they had been lying to Malia for months now and Kayla just rolled her eyes at that, deciding to just get straight to the point and put the poor girl out of her misery.

"It means we share the same psychotic parent" she said bluntly, "and unfortunately that makes us sisters. _'Dad'_ sure did get around the block, I wouldn't be surprised if some more bastard children showed up"

Malia looked back over to her, her expression falling as she listened to her heartbeat, heard the steady rhythm and knew she was telling the truth.

"Kayla… stop-"

 _"No"_ Malia interrupted Stiles in a hard voice, throwing him a glare, "I want to hear what she has to say. I want the truth, something you _all_ hid from me"

They each flinched, staring at each other guiltily as Malia sucked in a deep breath and faced Kayla, disgust and worry shining in her deep brown stare as she cocked a brow, wanting more information.

"They hid it from me too" she shrugged, "even before I died. So you can look down your nose at me all you want, you can hate me for the things I do but that doesn't change the fact we're flesh and blood whether we want it or not. You may have been raised as a Tate sweetheart, but your genes are _all_ Hale"

Malia fell back a step, looking completely and utterly defeated, an edge of mistrust and betrayal ebbing all around her as she shot her friends a glare, her eyes like fire.

"Malia we're… we're sorry" Lydia apologised, plastering a soft look on her features as she stepped forward gingerly, "we thought it was for the best. Peter… your biological dad he… he isn't a good person. Your family is still your family despite being adopted, this shouldn't change anything"

"… It changes everything" Malia murmured, clenching her fists, "you all knew and you never said anything. You _lied"_ she screeched angrily, her bottom lip curling as she turned around and started striding towards the exit, whipping around when Kira and Isaac tried to go after her, " _Don't_. Leave me alone. For good" and with that she was gone and Kayla had a feeling they wouldn't be seeing her for, at the very least, a long while. She definitely had the Hale temper and stubbornness, if there was one thing they were all good at it was holding a grudge.

Six pairs of annoyed and disappointed eyes landed on her and, for real, what did they honestly expect?

"What?" she ground out, "she deserved the truth. You were all just too scared to tell her"

"You could've just ruined everything" Scott whispered, shaking his head slowly.

"You didn't tell her for her benefit" Isaac actually sounded infuriated, glaring over at her and compared to the softness he usually had around her he was as hard as nails, "you told her that to get one up on her and ruin her life. Don't pretend what you just did was to help her"

"I wasn't the one lying to her for nine weeks" she snapped, scoffing under her breath and rolling her eyes, "so lash out at me all you want if it makes you feel better, but the truth is you all – _every. Single. One. Of. You._ who paraded around being her friend knew the truth but never said anything. That makes you all in the wrong, not me"

"You stone cold _bitch"_ Isaac said with so much contempt she could feel his distaste and anger rolling off him in waves and raised an eyebrow in surprise, "you're not worth the energy it would take to help you so do us all a favour and crawl back into the hell you came from, none of us would miss you"

 _Ow_ … that stung.

Her chest clenched, a hurt look twisting her features as Isaac sent her a withering glare before storming off after Malia and only a couple of seconds later did Kira break away from Scott's side, biting her bottom lip.

"I uh… I should go after her, check she's okay" she looked like she was going to say something else but decided against it, ducking her head and escaping quickly.

Scott stepped forward, sharing a worried look between Stiles and Derek, "I'll find Isaac and try and calm him down before he does something stupid" but being the ever-bigger person glanced at Kayla before he left, a sad glint in his eyes, "it's a shame you're so bitter because the Kayla we all loved would've been a great sister to Malia"

She doubted that very much.

Scott left slowly, dragging his feet in mental exhaustion and Kayla just tried to keep her composure, rolling her eyes and glancing at the three that was left, "go on, give it to me, tell me how much of a bad person I am, I can take it" folding her arms and waiting for the inevitable.

"Malia will come around… eventually" Lydia said softly, looking a little crestfallen, "and you're right – we were wrong keeping it from her… from _both_ of you"

She cocked a brow in surprise, staring over at her former best friend, "yeah, you were. And I may have told her out of spite but I still stick to what I always say – it's always better when people know the truth"

"We'll see what happens" Derek mumbled, shrugging his broad shoulders, "but I have a feeling she's still going to want to be a Tate and not a Hale and I don't blame her"

The only person who she hadn't heard speak much was Stiles, staying eerily quiet throughout the whole thing and glanced at him standing opposite her, meeting his disappointed glance, "yeah… so much for trying huh?"

He sighed heavily, "and like I said earlier, I don't expect things to change overnight – so yeah you're bitter and angry and spiteful but at least you experience regret, I see it on your face" he explained after as she frowned, "and maybe you can take a step towards changing by apologising to her"

"Yeah- _not_ gonna happen" she scoffed, "like, _ever_ "

"Kaylz-"

"I'm going to stay pissed at what she said because she's grating on my damn nerves. You think a few similar DNA chromosomes makes me want to hug and make up? In fact all of them-" pointing to the sliding doors her former friends had left through, "-can go screw themselves, especially Isaac that good for nothing bastard"

Stiles and Lydia shared a knowing glance, Derek behind them tilting his chin up in wondering as she just frowned at them.

"What?"

"You're hurt" Lydia mumbled softly, relieved tears shining in her eyes, "what they said to you… it hurt you"

"What?" she exclaimed in surprise, "don't be so stupid" she added defensively, rolling her eyes.

"It hurt because… because you care about them, even just a little"

She shivered uncomfortably, "ridiculous"

Lydia smiled gently, stepping up opposite her and her moss coloured stare was hopeful and a tad manic, "What Isaac said hit a nerve because he was one of your best friends, someone you always thought would have your back and now he's mad at you and you know he meant what he said and that… that's painful"

"The only painful thing is this talk"

"You're still my best friend Kay… and I just want to be yours" Lydia muttered sadly, "because, to me, you are worth the energy it takes to fix you"

"That's uh… nice to know" she said awkwardly, reaching out and patting her head, "I guess" before sliding her hand down to touch her forehead with her finger, gently pushing her back, "so how about we keep some distance before you force me into clothes shopping or something as equally ridiculous"

"You enjoy it really" Lydia teased.

"In your dreams" and Kayla felt a small smile tugging at her lips before she shook it off, coughing to clear her throat, "so now I'm the town's biggest bitch I should probably just go" she pointed behind her, "I expect the pitchforks will start coming out anytime now"

"Or-or we could go for lunch?" Stiles suggested, a nervous smile tugging at his lips as he waited for her to respond.

"Uh…" she frowned in wondering, "you mean like a date?"

"O-Or whatever" he shrugged, "it can be just food. Eating. E-Everyone needs to eat"

"You want it to be a date" she guessed, tilting her head to the side, "huh…"

"Or not" Stiles held up his hands, trying not to look disappointed, "it doesn't matter – was just an idea"

She felt a little bad at how crestfallen he seemed to be, hating the sad glint in his gaze.

"Make it dinner" she said before even realising what words had come out of her mouth, "say seven?"

His eyes widened in surprise, sharing an astounded look with Lydia before meeting her calm gaze, his jaw starting to gape like a fish.

"D-Dinner?"

"The meal people eat after lunch" she answered, not really understanding his shock, "and I'll even make an effort to be appropriate at all times – that's trying, isn't it?"

"O-Okay… yeah, yeah-yes" he nodded jittery, his cheeks flushing a little, "yes, dinner-dinner is good- but wait, uh, where?" he called out as she turned to leave.

She glanced over her shoulder, throwing him a wink, "surprise me"

And that was the moment Stiles Stilinski was sure he had a heart attack.

* * *

She didn't know why she suggested dinner because that meant being civilised and _actually_ making conversation when she, right now, was much more comfortable with the idea of alcohol and sex. Or she thought she was. She didn't really know now. Everything was just very confusing but making an effort meant doing things out of her comfort zone and a dinner date was definitely way out of her zone by miles.

She stepped out of the shower, not even bothering with a towel as she wrung her short hair out and padded through to the bedroom, glancing at the array of outfits strewn over the king-size bed and normally she would just chuck one on and be done with it but she had a feeling Stiles wouldn't appreciate her dressing like a hooker.

Well, he would, but for his eyes only. Honestly, some of the sex outfits he bought her was _definitely_ not for the faint hearted.

"Too girly, too lacey, too see through, ew, too cow girly and definitely way too sexy-librarian"

A knock at the door jolted her from her over-thinking and she just sighed and strode over to the door, pulling it wide open to reveal Lydia standing on the other side with her arms full.

"Do you always answer the door in the nude?"

She smirked, "do you always check out naked girls?" well aware of the burning blush on Lydia's cheeks as she slyly glanced at her up and down.

"I figured you might need some help" Lydia said, brushing past her and cocking a brow at the rather revealing and highly inappropriate outfits she was actually starting to consider, her eyes widening at the sight of a tight leather dress which covered exactly nothing, "and I was definitely right"

Kayla shut the door, shrugging a shoulder as she leaned over and picked up a short skirt and a teeny tiny crop top that matched that barely covered her breasts, "I was thinking this"

"Uh… no" Lydia shook her head quickly, grabbing the outfit from her grasp, "definitely not that"

"Why not?" she asked in confusion, "Stiles likes my body very much, he gave me like three hickies earlier"

Lydia opened her mouth to explain before snapping it shut, raising her eyebrow in appreciation at the fading marks on her neck, "huh, so he did. I thought he said he wouldn't have sex?"

"We never had sex" she sighed.

"Okay…" Lydia plastered a wide smile on her face, "how about I help you get ready? I brought all my stuff" dumping all the bags on the bed.

"Why?"

"Because if I leave you to your own devices you'll probably end up wearing this" holding up a 'slutty' nurses outfit, shaking her head like 'this is so not appropriate Kayla'.

"That's for roleplaying" she explained, "there's something about a sexy nurse attending to all his sexual needs that does it for him – especially when I'm not wearing underwear"

"I didn't need to know that" Lydia winced, "I don't need that image in my head" unzipping one bag and shaking out all the clothes, "I went shopping for you, picked up some things"

"Hm" she hummed, crossing her arms over her bare body, "It's not anything floral is it?"

"Nothing floral" Lydia confirmed, "or frilly or pink"

"Then you might just be onto a winner"

Lydia smiled and held up a dark blue dress, pressing it against Kayla's bare body, "perfect, just you" and Kayla had to agree. It was tight and sure, a little short, but it was what people these days called 'appropriate' – nothing too flashy, just simple and sleek one shouldered dress.

"This will do I guess" Kayla nodded just as Lydia picked up and threw to her a black lacy bra and underwear.

"Well these are very modest" she commented, cocking a brow at Lydia, "have I suddenly turned into a forty year old housewife?" because she was pretty sure the bra didn't even show any cleavage and the underwear was more like a damn parachute.

"I thought you made a promise about no sex?"

"Doesn't mean I can't feel sexy while not getting any"

Lydia smirked, "you want to wear a thong don't you?"

"My ass is toned enough that it doesn't sag" she grinned, picking up her own green underwear set, "or I could just ditch the underwear and go braless"

"Okay okay, you win" Lydia smirked, "get dressed and let me do something with your hair"

Kayla winked, tugging up her underwear and clasping the strapless bra on, turning around to face Lydia, "can't we just leave my hair to dry, I'm bored of playing dress up already"

"Nuh uh" Lydia pointed over to the wooden dressing table, "sit down and I'll make you look cute"

"I am cute"

"Cuter" Lydia smirked.

"Impossible"

For some strange reason, this teasing and playfulness actually felt okay and natural and she wasn't quite sure what to make of that, trying to sit still as Lydia blow-dried her hair and straightened it so the lighter strands grazed her shoulder, pinning half back off her face and letting a few strands hang down and frame her face.

"So why did you dye your hair?" Lydia asked softly, fiddling with the hair pin clasp in her hair to get it just right.

"I don't know, wanted a change" she answered honestly, "I'm not the same person I was so I thought I should show that"

Lydia had a small gentle smile on her face as she met her gaze in the mirror, "well you look beautiful, and the blonde streaks look perfect"

"Why are you being so nice to me?" she asked curiously, "I can understand why Stiles is… I gave him hope that I would change, I see in his eyes how hopelessly in love with me he is but… but I am a bad person. I do hurt people, and I kill and I felt nothing when I did. Even you have to admit that's messed up"

"It is messed up" Lydia agreed, smoothing out her hair and sliding her hands down to rest on her shoulders, "but so is each one of us, to some degree. Messed up or not, evil or good you're still my best friend. We've been through too much to just throw it away"

"Ever the sentimental type"

"More like an optimist" Lydia's smile was faint in the reflection but genuine, "so hurry up and put the dress on, I want to see what it looks like"

She rolled her eyes but obeyed, standing up and slipping the shiny silk material on and smoothed it down with the palms of her hands and had to admit that Lydia's taste was impeccable.

"You look amazing" Lydia whispered, her eyes glassy, "last time I... I got you ready you were uh... You were dead"

"Wow, you're jolly tonight aren't you?"

"It was the hardest thing I've ever done... Cleaning you up, washing off all the blood off you, making you presentable so when we all-when we all said goodbye, when Stiles did... It wouldn't be as hard"

"So I'm guessing it never made you want to be a mortician huh? Cos' I find it fascinating"

Lydia never replied, just shot her a mild glare.

"Thanks for the help" she switched subjects, sensing Lydia's uncomfortableness, "I don't really know what I'm supposed to do tonight"

"It's a date... You and Stiles used to go on them all the time"

"Yeah, when I was normal"

"Just talk, I'm sure you'll be fine" she reassured, "open up a little"

"Sounds very uncomfortable"

"It will be, but it'll also show him your willingness to try and that's what you want isn't it?"

She wasn't really sure what the hell she wanted now, her muddled up brain beyond confused.

"I don't know"

"Try" Lydia reached out, gently touching her forearm, "and you never know... You might even enjoy yourself"

"Enjoy myself? _Without_ sex? Now that I highly doubt"

Lydia smirked knowingly, "Stiles may be awkward and severely spaztic but he knows how to woo when he wants to, remember that time he took you to the Grand Canyon?"

Of course, how could she forget?

"Yeah that was pretty epic" she admitted with a soft smile, "and completely unexpected"

"So let him woo you again"

"Over, what? Macdonalds?"

Lydia grinned, "you love Macdonalds. But no, he's not taking you to Macdonalds"

"Then where?" She asked, "I hate fancy places - he knows that"

"You asked him to surprise you so let him surprise you"

"I hate surprises"

Lydia rolled her eyes, "stop being difficult Kay"

"I enjoy being difficult though"

Lydia sighed heavily but soon smiled a little, the corners of her mouth upturning, "you're nervous aren't you?"

"What? Of course not" she denied, shaking her head quickly.

"Sex you're good at but talking and letting yourself form a connection, that's hard for you"

Kayla cocked a brow before shrugging a shoulder, "I just don't want him to expect a miracle because he's not going to get one. I'm not going to stop hunting Kate down and I certainly won't hesitate to kill anyone who stands in my way or that, God forbid, they're stupid enough to take me on. And that's not going to change because he gave me heart eyes and took me to dinner"

"It's a start though"

Kayla frowned, crossing her arms and eyeing Lydia up and down, "have you heard from Malia yet?"

The strawberry blonde winced, "no... Not yet"

"And uh... And Isaac?" Kayla queried, not even sure why she was asking but had a curious niggling feeling in the base of her stomach.

Lydia shook her head, "he's A.W.O.L" she admitted, "maybe he found Malia and he's trying to calm her down"

"I did tell her out of spite" Kayla admitted, "Isaac was right, I wanted to knock her off her high horse. I wanted to ruin her just to get her to shut up"

"...But?"

"But I also knows what it feels like to have things kept from you" she shrugged, "and I think everyone deserves the truth, no matter how difficult"

Lydia's moss green stare filled up with guilt, "I'm... I'm sorry I never told you"

"Oh I don't care about that now" she dismissed, waving her hand out, "pffft, old news. Old me was hurt, sure, new me doesn't give a flying toss. And it's not like I'm going to be buying her _'best sister'_ birthday cards anytime soon. In fact I still kinda hate the bitch actually"

"But she's still your sister" Lydia insisted, " _family_ "

" _Half_ sister" Kayla corrected, "I want nothing to do with Peter and certainly nothing to do with his bastard offspring" her phone beeping cut her off, glancing down at the screen of her cell, "It's Stiles, asking if he can come up" she spoke, shooting a text straight back, "so as I was saying-" meeting Lydia's gaze again, "-Malia can stay out of my way and in return I'll stay out of her life before I really am tempted to not only break her nose but break her spine in half" smiling widely, "so how do I look?"

Lydia gulped, shaking herself from her shocked trance, "um... You look really good"

"Well I know _that"_ she answered obviously, "but thanks"

Lydia bit her bottom lip, her gaze turning serious and wondering, "Stiles isn't the only one you've given hope to Kay. Don't mess it up. Please"

"Unfortunately I can't promise that"

"I know" Lydia replied with smally, "but if what we had meant _anything_... if our friendship was important to you then just try. Let us in. Accept that what you've done is wrong and work to make things right"

"What have I done that's so wrong?" She asked cluelessly.

"Murder, maybe" Lydia implored.

"That was just an outlet for my frustration. Plus it was kinda fun"

Before Lydia could reply there was a hesitant and nervous knock on the door, grabbing both their attentions.

"Go. Have fun" Lydia smiled, "just try and not break his heart"

"I..." I, what? Won't? She didn't particularly want to hurt him for some reason, going from hating and resenting him to wanting to protect him but she couldn't make herself promise that because that was too much pressure, "I'll try"

She walked towards door, grabbing her black leather jacket and slung it over her arm, leaving Lydia leaning against the bathroom door frame watching her as she pulled the door open to reveal Stiles with his back to her, turning around as he heard the familiar squeak of the hinges and she watched as his expression went from nervous to full out astounded, those honey brown eyes of his widening as he gaped at her.

"What?" She frowned, cocking her head to the side as his jaw slackened, his cheeks flaring a deep pink as he looked her up and down, "why are you looking at me like that?"

She was sure she heard him wheeze as he finally pried his eyes away from her body, shaking his head a little to focus as he met her confused stare and tried to speak, he'll he tried to say something, anything, but nothing came, the words dying in the back of his throat.

He exhaled breathlessly, his legs a little shaky as he tried for a charming smile, his tongue darting about in his mouth as he tried to build up the courage to speak, raising his arm to lean it on the wall to try and act chill and laid back when in fact he was a bundle of nerves, feeling like an awkward spaztic teen asking his crush on a date. But, of course, he wasn't as cool as he thought he was being and completely missed the wall, careening to the side in a flail of limbs, a loud bang echoing around the hallway as he fell.

Kayla just cocked a brow, twisting her head around to stare at Lydia in confusion because why was he acting like this? It didn't make sense, wanting her friend, former friend, whatever, to clarify what she was missing.

The strawberry blonde pointed past her mouthing _'help him idiot'_ and she just rolled her eyes but bent down and helped Stiles stand, well aware he was more jittery than normal.

"You alright?" She asked, dusting off his shirt, "you didn't just take a seizure did you?"

Stiles gulped, his mouth well last dry as he tried to get rid of the embaressment he felt at acting like a complete tool, focusing back on her curious green stare and grounding himself.

"I... I'm good" he mumbled, "sorry, you just-you look really-ly pretty. B-beautiful actually"

That stunned her for a moment, the smallest smile of gratitude tugging at her lips. She had been called hot, sexy, bangable, damn fine, whatever words complimented her body she had heard recently but there was something in the way he said it that sounded like he actually _meant_ it, and not just about her body, but her as a person and not just an object.

She opened her mouth to say something, not really sure what was going to come out but held up her finger, muttering "pause that thought" before twisting around to glance at Lydia in uncertainty, "do I say thank you?"

Lydia looked like she was trying not to laugh, covering her mouth with her dainty hand.

"Don't laugh, this is serious" Kayla told her off hushly, "normally I would offer a blowjob but he's going celibate. You know I can't do appropriate"

Lydia snorted, "say whatever you want"

She guessed that meant she was given the green light so turned back around, smiling slyly, "and you're making me very wet"

Almost immediately Stiles started choking, coughing loudly as he banged his chest with his fist and Lydia just let out a surprised squeak.

"What?" Kayla asked cluelessly, "that was a compliment" she insisted because it was. He was standing there in a pair of black skinny jeans and a buttoned up white shirt, his growing muscles evident under the tight material, his normal manic hair was gelled back and flattened, looking very sleek and 1950's that it was actually a surprising turn on, making him look less boyish and more, she didn't know, maturer? Handsome definitely. But then again he was always _very_ handsome.

"We know Kay" Lydia laughed, "just reel in the horniness for one night alright? now goodbye" before pushing her forward and closing the door behind her, causing her to pitch forward and for Stiles to clumsily grab her shoulders, keeping her upright.

"She's very strange" Kayla mumbled, standing up straight and sorting her dress that had hiked up around the tops of her thighs.

"Uh... Y-Yeah" Stiles stuttered, looking like he hadn't heard a word of what she had just said, "have I said how gorgeous you look? Because... _Wow_..."

"I know, I'm very boner-worthy" she smirked, "but thanks"

He gulped, rubbing his sweaty palms off on his jeans, "uh... We should get going..."

"Yeah" she agreed, "where to?"

He calmed down a little, nerves slowly wading off, "remember it's a surprise"

"As long as it's nothing too barf worthy" she joked, walking slowly to the elevator with him by her side, "thanks for giving me another chance"

He glanced down at her, "of course. You're changing, I see that"

She pressed the button, folding her arms as she waited for the elevator to ride up and open, "well you do look very dapper"

He raised his eyebrows in surprise, that gentle pink blush still prickling his cheeks as he tried to say something but the words got caught in his throat, so just settled for a thankful nod, his mouth twisting into a grateful smile.

"You're acting incredibly nervous" she noted, pausing as they both heard that familiar ding as the elevator opened and they walked in, standing side by side, "why? Are you scared I'm going to do something to hurt you or...?"

"No, no, no" he rushed out, beads of sweat swelling along his hairline, "I just... You mean a lot to me" he explained in simple terms that Kayla, even without her emotions, should be able to understand, "and you can still make my head spin because I... I love you, and that's a good feeling. It can just be overwhelming at times, that's all"

She didn't really get it but nodded all the same, "alright. But just for future reference you're the last person I would kill"

He chuckled, knowing it was a compliment, "Thanks Kaylz, that's a sweet thought"

She smirked, leading the way out to reception and Stiles let his eyes wander down to the hem of her dress swaying around her thighs and had to shake his head to stop his inappropriate staring, picking up his pace to catch up to her purposeful strides.

"No need to look so guilty Stiles" she observed playfully, "I know you were looking at my ass"

He blushed again, thankful for the cool evening air that hit his face as they emerged outside, "Uh, yeah sorry. My bad"

"Look all you want" she grinned, slipping on her leather jacket as her arms erupted into goosebumps, "you, after all, know it better than anyone" deliberately sweeping out in front of him towards the jeep and he smiled at her flirting, letting himself look just once more before sliding into the jeep and starting up the engine.

"Wow, it actually started on the first go" she mumbled playfully, "I'm shocked"

"You can thank the duct-tape for that" he chuckled, placing his arm behind her seat as he reversed out of the parking lot, "it's the only thing keeping it together"

She scooted down in the seat a little, resting her bent knees against the dashboard so the blue dress pooled around her hips, "we haven't been on a date in a while"

"I know" he replied, jolting the jeep forward onto the main road, "even life before you died was... Hectic"

"Being possessed and all" she smirked, "but you seem okay. Physically" she added.

"Yeah... I'm doing okay" he smiled gently before focusing back on the road.

"Any after affects?" She wondered, not able to quite put her finger on it.

"Don't think so" Stiles dismissed, "why, do you think there are?"

"Not sure" she shrugged, "your anger is definitely elevated, I would even say borderline scary"

"You think?" He kept glancing at her, panicked.

"I'm sure it's nothing. What you've been through you have a right to be angry" she assured him, "I was just being curious. Something the nogitsune said when we were in hell"

"... What did he say?" He wondered, his grip tightening around the wheel.

She rested her head back on the seat, letting it fall to the side to peer over at him, "just that you wouldn't be the same again. That he was like a poison and had infected you. That we cut off the source of that poison but not before the damage had already been done"

Stiles began sweating nervously, his heart beginning to race, "what kind of damage?"

"I don't know" she shrugged, "he never elaborated. In fact I thought he may have just said that to hurt me, another creative torture method" she explained, "I wouldn't worry, you seem fine"

He was 'fine', but was that good enough? The anger he felt, the rage, the aggression, it wasn't normally in his nature but sometimes it felt like it was spiralling out of control. Like he was uncontrollable. Was that the nogitsunes influence, or just because he had been through too much to handle?

He tried to push it to the back of his mind, forget about the hold the nogitusne still had on his life even though he was gone, about the people he hurt and lost because of that monster and stared over at Kayla, letting her ground him.

"I uh... Check under the seat" he instructed lightly, shifting his gaze back between her figure and the road, watching her curious expression.

"Okaaaaaay" she mumbled, dropping her knees off the dashboard and leaning down between her legs, pulling out a small wooden box and placing it on her lap, fiddling with the clasp until it opened.

"The stuff might seem meaningless but uh... They're not to me" he explained as she carefully sorted through the odds and ends, "those are movie stubs from the first movie we saw together, that pathetic zombie apocalyptic low budget horror, remember that one?"

"Yeah" she chuckled, picking up the two tickets, "it was a pretty shit movie, the only good bits were the exploding heads parts"

"And the making out at the boring parts" he added with a snort, "and that I.O.U note you gave me for helping out with Derek the first time his annoying ass was in trouble"

Kayla smiled, staring down at the crumpled bit of torn off corner paper, recognising her familiar scrawl.

 _'I.O.U_

 _100x cheeseburgers like I promised._

 _And I always keep my promises, even ridiculously expensive ones like this._

 _Thanks for all your help, Kayla :-)'_

"You did get those cheeseburgers eventually"

"We went to that fast food place for breakfast lunch _and_ dinner for like two weeks straight, I think I put on like twenty pounds those weeks" he chipped in with, a nostalgic smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"We worked those calories off though" she winked at him before digging deeper, cocking a brow as she pulled out a ripped open empty blue condom packet and he blushed a little, forgetting that was in there.

"Uh... Well this is embarrassing" he mumbled as she smiled at him, "and yes, I kept the packet of the condom we used when we first had sex. You took my virginity, it was a special moment" he defended himself lightheartedly.

"As long as you didn't keep the _actual_ condom because that would've been a little disgusting" she teased, placing it back in the box before picking up a strip of Polaroid photos, lifting it closer to her face to inspect.

They were stupid goofy selfies but they both looked so young, so free and happy, not like what they looked now - exhausted, eyes holding horrors no one could ever imagine.

"That's my favourite" Stiles whispered, loosening his grip around the wheel to point a long finger at the last picture - just a simple picture of them both in the middle of a laugh, the image a little blurry but it was unbelievable how happy they looked. She wanted that back, and she had a feeling he did too.

"Can I keep it?" She asked, "just this one" tapping the bottom picture.

He seemed a little thrown at her request but smiled, "of course. What's mine is yours and all that crap"

She starting tearing the bottom picture away from the others, snorting under her breath, "that's for married couples Stiles"

"It'll happen one day" he insisted, "wait and see"

"Someone is very confident in that aspect"

He smirked playfully, "I just know"

She picked up her purse, slipping the small photo into the clear frame in the inside and shut it, dropping it back to the floor of the jeep.

"What's this?" She asked curiously, picking up a corse bit of scrap paper with a bunch of random doodlings on it, not recognising the significance.

"You doodle all the time, on anything and everything, my room was full of these" he nodded to the paper in her hand, "I don't know, I just liked this one"

"It's stick figures Stiles"

"Exactly" he grinned, not explaining in any further and she just smirked to herself before her fingers came in contact with a soft silky bit of string and although the lighting was dim, she could tell exactly what this was.

She picked it up, letting it curl around her fingers, "the string was cut"

Stiles' happy expression faltered, his eyes pooling with sadness and regret, "Yeah. That woman... Collette..." He inhaled shapely, hands tightening around the steering wheel, "she made sure I got that, just to make sure I knew that you were dead because of me. Not a very nice woman, let me tell you"

"Wasn't your fault"

"It was" he insisted, "and I know you still resent me a little bit because of it and that's fine, I get it"

She decided not to argue, looking through the rest of the items seeing random cafe receipts and pizza tokens, cute little bed time notes and a few small rocks from their time at the Grand Canyon. Stiles was a sentimental sap, that much was obvious, and she didn't even realise how warm that made her feel.

"I didn't even know you kept all this stuff"

"Now you do" he said simply, smiling a little as he turned into a parking lot and she carefully placed the box on the floor of the jeep, glancing around curiously.

"Huh"

"Good huh or bad huh?" Stiles asked nervously, shutting off the engine.

"Good huh" she confirmed, jumping down from the jeep and meeting Stiles by the front wheels, "I should have seen this coming"

"Glad to know I can still surprise you" he smirked.

She smiled, letting him lead the way and hold open the door for her as they walked into Millie's burger joint, greeted by the familiar bright yellow walls and black and white tiled floor, the leather burgundy booths as welcoming as ever with Elvis' 'can't help falling in love with you' playing over the jukebox in the corner of the room.

It wasn't as busy as she thought, just a few families and loners eating their burgers as Stiles led them towards their normal corner booth and she slid in opposite him, shrugging off her leather jacket and draping it on the bench seat next to her.

"You really do look stunning you know" Stiles commented, picking up a menu and fiddling with it in his grasp.

"Thanks. Lydia insisted on the bra though" she added, "I, personally, am not a fan of them. They're rather uncomfortable actually"

He smirked, seeming much more relaxed, "bra or no bra, what I said still sticks"

"My favourite customers" a Texan drawl exclaimed and they both looked over to see Millie waddling over to them, a wide smile painted on her face, "long time no see dearies, I was beginning to get worried you both weren't coming back"

"Sorry - I was dead" Kayla said bluntly as Stiles shook his head at her quickly, "otherwise I would've stopped by"

" _Metaohorically_ \- she means _metaphorically_ " Stiles insisted, flashing a nervous smile at the plump woman.

"No I don't" she answered, frowning, "I mean proper dead. For like two months and- _ow_ , why did you just kick me?" She whispered over at Stiles.

"Shhhhh" he hushed back before smiling widely, "uh... We'll stop by more often. Promise"

"That's what I like to hear" Millie gushed, leaning over to squeeze Stiles' cheeks together in fondness before turning on Kayla, "and my my, you get more and more beautiful the more I see you" tilting her chin up to get a proper look at her, "no wonder everyone's gawking at you dear"

And they were, a few people glancing over curiously but she had gotten used to it as egotistic as that sounded. She was a seductress for a reason, after all.

"Thank you"

"Would you like to order?"

Stiles placed his order or a triple cheeseburger (she didn't even knew those existed, must be a new thing when she was 'down under') with some fries and onion rings, with his usual peanut butter and chocolate shake and Kayla decided to order the same except with three extra portions of fries and onion rings with some spicy chicken wings.

"What?" She asked as two pairs of surprised eyes, "being dead has meant my metabolism is sky high"

Millie smiled, not put off in the slightest despite her talk of death which probably made her sound crazy to anyone who didn't know her situation, "your orders won't be long dearies" before departing and leaving them alone.

"She probably thinks you're slightly crazy now" Stiles stated with a smile, clasping his hands together on the table as he leaned forward.

"I _am_ slightly crazy" matching his stance, "and it's no big deal - I was dead, now I'm not. It's done wonders for my complexion"

"Only you could find positives for being dead"

"Gotta look on the bright side" she shrugged, "so c'mon, tell me - why here _really?"_

"I thought it might bring back some good memories" he explained, "it's 'our' place, you know?"

"Our place... Huh..." Leaning back in her seat, "I kinda like the sound of that"

"So do you feel anything now?" He asked curiously, mirroring her relaxed posture.

"Enjoyment I guess so kudos to you for that, the only way I thought I experienced any form of happiness was through sex or murder so..."

He tapped his fingers along the table, "does this... _Us_... Make you feel happy?"

She knew he was only persisting with these questions to see if he was making a breakthrough, to see if everything he was doing was for the best, but sometimes the questions made her head spin. She didn't understand emotions, it was like asking a second grader to do college level maths.

She reached up, touching the small curve of her lips, "well I'm smiling aren't I?" Knowing she was feeling less empty and lonely than she had done before.

"Thank god for that" he mumbled, sighing in relief.

"So tell me about this list thing" she asked, "how did Lydia crack it?"

"It's a deadpool list" Stiles explained, "we think it's like a hit list for any and all supernatural creatures in Beacon Hills. The password, the key it was uh... It was Allison's name" and she watched as pain and guilt flare up in his eyes and frowned in confusion - was he still feeling all those negative emotions all these weeks after his friends death? - "it has a bunch of numbers down the side, probably how much each person is worth"

"An assassin hit list. That's very cowardly" she mumbled, "how can they fund all this?"

"Remember Peter's money that got stolen?"

As soon as he said that she burst out laughing, knowing karma was definitely a bitch for dear old dad.

"Oh my god, that's hilarious" she chuckled, "sorry but Peter _definitely_ deserved that - hence why I keep all my money in several bank accounts and not on flimsy bits of paper. What an _idiot_ "

"He definitely deserves it except now that's the reason all these people are dying so maybe not so good"

She didn't really care all that much, just content knowing Peter was knocked off his high horse.

"Touché" she shrugged, "At least your name won't be on it"

"No, but everyone else that I care about it" he mumbled bitterly, "Scott, Lydia, Derek-"

"You care about Derek?"

"Sometimes" he smirked, "point is there's more lists which means the rest of my friends will be on it... _You'll_ be on it" he added in worry.

"Let them try" she dismissed, "I'll just kill anyone that tries to hurt me" before frowning, "uh... You wouldn't hate me for that right? Because to be fair, defensive murder isn't _really_ murder"

"If anyone tries do what you please" he gave her the green light, "your, uh... Your mom was on the list"

She stiffened, "oh?"

"Technically she wasn't supernatural but still carries the gene. That must've been the guy you saw that night"

"Yeah, tall, bald, no mouth. How much was she worth?"

"There was a one next to her name"

"She was worth one dollar?" Kayla snorted, "cos I would've killed her for free"

"We were thinking either a thousand or one million" Stiles explained, "we're still working on the logistics of it all?"

"Well I better be worth more than _that_. Hopefully up in the millions, I should definitely be worth more than Lydia and Derek at any rate, I haven't seen them coming back from the dead yet"

"Maybe not such a good idea to want a big price tag on your head, that'll just make you a bigger target"

"Let them try" she shrugged, "hell I even say bring it on, this place needs spicing up, it's getting awful boring lately"

"Please uh... Please don't. It's hard enough knowing there's people out there that want to take you away from me again, I don't think I can deal with your dismissive attitude as well, especially because I'm freaking the hell out"

"It'll be fine, promise" she winked, "ease up a bit, nothing will happen"

"You promised me that before and then you died"

"And that was the only promise I've broken to you" she insisted.

He sighed heavily, rubbing at his eyes, "can we change the subject? It's a little heavy and we're supposed to be having fun"

"Okay" she agreed, "wanna guess what colour my underwear are?"

That adorable pink spread to his cheeks, "uh..."

"Or you can just see for yourself?"

His blush deepened, going to run his hands through his hair but forget it was sleek and gelled back from his forehead so ended up scratching the back of his neck nervously, "nothing sexual, remember?"

She pouted playfully, "shame. Last time we had sex here I distinctly remember my leg ending up around your neck when we fucked in the bathroom sta-"

Stiles cut her off with a deliberate cough as he saw Millie hurrying over to them with two trayfuls of food, shaking his head as she wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and leaned back as Millie disposited the food in front of them, a wide smile spreading across her rounded face.

"I sure do hope you enjoy and if you have any problems at all don't hesitate to hollar, alright dearies?"

"Thanks Millie" Stiles smiled appreciatively as she pinched his cheek, like one would do to a chubby little baby before bopping Kayla's nose and leaving them to it.

"So as I was saying-"

"Nu uh" Stiles picked up a fry and shoved it in her mouth, cutting her off as he smirked, "no talks of sex or trying to make me horny"

She pouted playfully but never argued, shoving some more fries in her mouth and slurping loudly at her shake.

"Fine. I'll just have a food orgasm" she shrugged, picking up her massive burger between her hands, "will probably get me off better anyway" teasing him lightly.

He grinned at her, "now we both know _that's_ not true, and baiting me isn't going to work"

She chuckled to herself as she bit into her burger, letting out a contented moan as Stiles watched her in amusement, ketchup and mustard dripping down her chin.

"Oi, messy" he laughed, picking up some napkins, "you're dripping" leaning across the table to wipe at her mouth, his eyes lighting up with enjoyment, "jeez, I forgot how much of a disaster you are when you eat"

"Am not" she mumbled through a mouthful of food, "he'e, you h've to try t'is" forgetting he had his own burger sitting untouched in front of him and pushing it towards him and he didn't have the heart to correct her, smiling as he tried to take a bite and ended up spilling gurkins and onions onto his jeans.

She burst out laughing, "you were saying?"

He wiped his jeans off before throwing her a playful glare, "that was your fault"

"Was not"

"Was too"

"Definitely not"

"I beg to differ"

This felt natural, playfully bickering, acting relaxed, he forgot how nice it was.

They didn't talk much when they were eating but kept glancing at each other, throwing the occasion fry and Kayla tried to steal his shake when she finished hers but he kept moving it about the table until giving in and letting her have it, ordering them another two.

"I'm so full" Kayla mumbled, pushing away the plates and leaning back in the bench seat and resting her hands across her stomach, "I can't even move"

Stiles wiped his hands off on the napkin, mirroring her position, "I feel like I've just eaten a herd of cows"

"Technically you have" she laughed, nodding down at his empty plate.

"This was nice, wasn't it?" Needing the confirmation that everything he just felt wasn't just in his head, "I mean... You liked it right?"

"Of course, I always love food from Millie's"

"I meant-" he pointed between them, "-this. Us. A date. Talking. It wasn't so bad, was it?"

She furrowed her brows in contemplation, thinking how best to answer, "no, it wasn't bad. Not bad at all"

He sighed in relief, bowing his head.

"I'm still not exactly sure what it is you expect from me, and I'm not even sure I can give it to you but I do feel... Something I guess. Warm" she explained, "and I've been cold for so long Stiles... It's nice. I hated being cold and alone, like everything was in black and white but now things feel like they're in colour again"

That was the most wonderful and heart wrenching explanation he had heard since a long time. Living life in black and white was dull and bland and painful, where as colour was emotion and hope and positivity. They were definitely on the right path.

"You'll never be like that again, I promise" he vowed, "what happened to you I will make sure will never be repeated"

"You can't promise that, but thanks"

"I can and I have" he nodded determinedly, sitting forward and grasping at one of her hands, "whatever happens, you're safe"

She didn't think she needed that reassurance but, turns out, she did.

"We should get going" gently pulling away from Stiles' hand, "I still want to find Kate and break every bone in her body and although we could sit here and gaze into each others eyes like some sappy rom-com, I find some good old fashioned revenge to be much more exciting"

He grinned, already fishing into his pocket for his wallet, "Kate better watch out then"

"She bloody better" Kayla nodded, "and it's alright, I've got this"

"Uh no" Stiles declared, opening up his wallet, "don't even think about it"

"Too late, already have"

"Kaylz, we are not having this argument again" he exclaimed, "every time we go out we always end up bickering about who pays for the meal"

"Its _my_ turn" Kayla insisted.

"No it's _definitely_ my turn"

"Don't lie"

"Put your purse down"

"I want to pay"

"So do I, tough luck"

"You're being sexist Stiles"

"Am not, the date was my idea"

" _Technically_ the dinner was mine"

"I picked the place"

"I will fight you on this"

"Not fair, you'll win by a rather large percentage" Stiles smiled, "rock, paper, scissors?"

"Eh... Sure" knowing they weren't going to get anywhere anytime soon at their bickering rate so held out her hand and won the first round by making a rock, Stiles won the second with scissors and she got the third by making fire.

"What?" Stiles exclaimed, "that's not even a real one - cheater"

"Is too" she insisted, slapping down a fifty before Stiles could stop her.

"I did rock, how the hell does _fire_ win against _rock_?"

"It could've been coal, in that case I totally win so just suck it up"

He rolled his eyes but didn't argue anymore, "fine, but the next one's on me"

"Deal... It might even be breakfast too" hinting extra heavily.

"Uh... Maybe" he agreed, knowing exactly what she was hinting at and just accepted that, sure, if things kept going this good they would end up having sex and just the thought made him flush, his shirt sticking to his back with sweat. He loved her with _every_ fibre of his body - emotionally, sexually, intellectually, romantically and spiritually, he just wanted to make sure she didn't just love the sexual aspect.

He followed her out after saying bye to Millie, walking side by side through the darkness. She was about to say something until his phone beeped and he fished it out of his pocket, his eyes widening at the text from Kayleigh. Oh shit, right, _that_ Kayleigh. Asking him out to dinner tomorrow night.

"Do you want to come back to mine?" She asked, "unless you're busy?" Cocking a brow down at the phone in his hands.

"Uh... No, not busy" not really sure how to answer - he was the douche that went on that date because, sure, he was a little intrigued by the person that sought him out in concern but mainly just to wind Kayla up, he couldn't exactly let her down by text so just pocketed his phone again, "what you wanting to do?"

"Well I was thinking about a few inappropriate things which involved handcuffs and a dildo but I totally get you wanting to take things slow so, I dunno, watch a movie?"

"Sounds great" and it did, relaxing and drama free, exactly what he was needing.

She turned around, leaning back against the jeep to peer up at him, "thank you...this was actually, dare I say it, fun? Lydia was right, you did somehow manage to woo me - though that may be the hair" she joked afterwards.

He raised his hand to touch his sleeked back hair, darkened slightly by the gel, "thought I should make an effort instead of constantly looking like I rolled out of bed"

"I like it, very 1950's"

She went to turn around to slide into the jeep but he stepped forward and caught her arm, pressing her back into the cool metal.

"I am _totally_ in favour of an end of date kiss though" he smirked, sliding his hand up to cup her cheek and tilt her head up, "plus those marks are already almost completely faded" dropping his stare to her slender neck where his previous marks of passion were almost gone, the bruising and redness totally healed, "better make some new ones"

Her breath caught in her throat, heart skipping a beat, "... Why... So people know I'm already with someone?" Sensing the slight possessiveness his tone held.

"Partially" he smiled, capturing her lips sweetly, holding the kiss with just their lips touching as he savoured the moment, the total vulnerableness it held before tenderly moving them against hers, his free hand slinking down to curl around her hip.

She whimpered, pressing herself closer to him before guiding his hand down by the wrist to grab her ass gently and he flushed at that, knowing he probably shouldn't but just dipped his hand under the thin material of her dress to touch her bare burning skin, nails sinking into the flesh.

She moaned against his mouth, cupping his broad shoulders and pulling him flush against her as he ran his tongue along her bottom lip, urging her to open her mouth to him which she did immediately, letting him in as their tongues fought gently for dominance but in the end she let him win, shuddering at the feel of his tongue curling in her mouth, hot wet lips encasing her mouth and leaving her breathless.

She couldn't think straight, fisting his shirt and he pulled back, teeth biting down on her bottom lip before carefully sucking on it, his other hand dropping down to grope her under her dress.

She had made that joke earlier about him making her wet but it was no joke now. She was burning, _aching_ for him to do more, pressing her legs together for friction but he slipped a hand between them and pried them apart, guiding them around his hips as he gained leverage by holding her against the jeep, sliding his large sweaty palms along her things and across her ass, tugging at the skimpy thong in place.

"Fuck" she mumbled as he broke the kiss, not used to the slowness, someone taking their time with her but loved every moment of it, throwing her head back against the jeep as Stiles trailed his hot mouth down her jaw and neck, licking at the patches of skin before he kissed them leaving her a hot flustered mess in his arms, totally in his mercy.

His nails sunk even deeper into her ass, spreading her cheeks apart as he ran his fingertips along the inside of her thong all the way down to her soaking wet pussy, no doubt leaving red marks all across her skin, pushing himself between her legs and rolling his hips against hers, sighing needily as his hard bulge rubbed along her damp underwear, his fingers slowly spreading her burning wet folds, biting down harshly on the side of her neck.

She gasped, a surge of pain shooting through her body, whimpering as his mouth enclosed around the damaged skin - _hard_ \- and he began sucking to the point where she was close to wincing, clawing at his shoulder blades as he left her marks that would take _days_ to heal, even with her quicker healing. But then again, that was his plan all along.

He did the same to the other side, making sure her neck was covered in reddening bruises, that same hand continuously gliding back up to her ass before dipping back down to touch her pussy, caressing the wet skin before pulling back, resting his forehead against hers, his movements stilling.

"You look so god damn gorgeous in this dress I wish I could just take you right there in my jeep" he admitted huskily, "fuck, I would make love to you so damn good until you were shaking..." letting his inner desires spill out, already knowing _exactly_ how he would have sex with her - he would go from touching to grabbing until he was between her legs licking at her pussy, pushing her over the edge until she couldn't take anymore before mounting her, guiding her legs until they were hooked around his shoulders and fuck her so deeply she would be left screaming his name, clawing at his skin as she begged him to go faster but he would keep up the slow pace, sliding in at an agonising speed, making sure she felt _exactly_ how much his cock stretched her, biting and sucking at the curve of her neck until she came blissfully five times over, knowing that no one else could _ever_ fuck her the way he did.

"Then do it" she insisted breathlessly, "be with me" tightening her legs around his hips, yearning for more.

He leaned forward, pecking her bruising lips, "I uh... I can't. Not yet" because although he wanted to _so_ damn bad, he couldn't get the image out of his head with her and all those other people, _especially_ Donnovan and Isaac, he needed to work through that first, "but I love you-" slowly lowering her to the ground, removing his hands from her body, raising his fingers to his mouth to lick her sweet wet arousal from his fingertips, his mouth craving more of her as he groaned quietly to himself, thoughts of just pushing her back into the jeep and eating her out filling his mind, "-don't forget it alright?"

She gulped, still a little red and flustered, raising her palm to gingerly touch the side of her bruising neck and winced almost inaudibly at the tender skin.

"I'm sorry" he apologised softly, gently pulling away her hand and inspecting the red and damaged skin, "I didn't mean to hurt you, I guess I just got carried away"

But she loved it when he lost control and felt what was in the moment, the passion, the need, it was definitely amazing.

"Don't be" she smiled, "do it more often"

He raised his eyebrows but smiled a little, dipping his head and she was sure she heard someone call her name and glanced around, a cold sweeping sensation passing through her body.

"Did you hear that?" She asked curiously, "I'm sure someone just said my name"

"Nope" he shook his head, "just us here" he reassured as she stepped forward and glanced around, opening the passenger side door for her but she ignored him, frowning as she took one more sweep of the empty parking lot.

She wasn't going crazy, someone definitely said her name and whoever it was did _not_ sound happy.

"No one's here, promise" Stiles whispered next to her ear, "and because I love you, I'll even let you pick the movie"

"Sounds good" glancing around again, hating the chill that went up her spine before climbing into the jeep next to him.

 **A)n) THAT WAS SO LONG MY BAD but I had to make up for my long while without updating (well it was only like ten days) haha and yay angry Malia, OMG Isaac wtf haha, and had some Lydia in there too (lyla, kaydia? Ha) and yay date time and a little smut loving haha kinda filler but needed some sweetness and that thing at the end with Kayla, it has someone to do with the fact she returned from the dead ooooooooh anyone guess haha anyway please please review and I will update ASAP thanks lovelies.**

 **Tumblr - fanficanatic-tw. :)**


	20. Chapter 20 - Hold me

**Disclaimer: Teen Wolf does not belong to me in any way, shape or form. A MASSIVE and thankful shoutout to my wonderful viewers including, xnathiagrey, x XRoweenaJAugistineX x, XxxXCherriesXxxX, linda96, Wallflower (ha, hell yeah smut), SS (aww thank you ha love your feedback), Guest, EllieDragon (glad you like nutjob Kayla ha), zvc56, a (I love malia so don't worry about that :) ) and Annalynn for reviewing hope you all enjoy this next update x oh and an extra shoutout to xnathiagrey for the book cover edit, ive said it before but ill say it again - its wonderful, thank you x**

Malia felt like her whole world had come crumbling down around her, constantly tripping and falling over the broken shards of her life. She felt betrayed, angry, lied to, but most of all she felt wrong. Like her whole life was a lie. That her loving, caring normal family were never really hers and now her father, the man who made her, was some psychopath, her mother was god knows who and her sister was bat-shit crazy.

She didn't know what she did to deserve this… she really didn't.

"I thought I might find you here"

She felt her lip curling, a defensive half growl escaping her throat, "leave me alone"

"No can do" Isaac shrugged casually, plopping down next to her on the cool dewy grass opposite the two side by side graves, "friends don't abandon their friends, or didn't you get that lesson in human 101?"

"No, but I did get the one where friends aren't supposed to lie" she snapped, "and Kayla may be totally crazy but at least she told the truth"

"Rather untactfully" Isaac sounded bitter, "it was a power play. She's good at manipulation, hell it's in her genes"

"That's my genes too you know"

"I meant the other side" Isaac corrected with a small smile.

Malia sighed, glancing at the two headstones, her mother's and sister's names carved gracefully into the marble, "why didn't you tell me?"

"… I don't know" Isaac decided not to lie, opting for the truth, especially in a situation like this, "Lydia only told us after uh, after everything that happened with the nogitsune. Everyone was still grieving, we didn't know what to make of it. That and we knew what Peter is like – he's a sociopath and in some stupid way I guess we thought we were protecting you"

"I don't _need_ protection"

"I know" Isaac whispered gently, "and I am so sorry. It shouldn't have been Kayla that told you, it should've been me, us, your _friends_ "

"It's just confusing" she admitted, "I grew up with them" she nodded to the gravestones, "they were my world for so long and now…" tears rushed to her eyes as she blinked to clear them, not wanting to seem weak.

"So you're not blood" Isaac shrugged, "they're still your family, that doesn't change and no one expects it too. If you want to be a Tate… be a Tate"

"I don't know what I want" Malia said glumly, "except to put Kayla in the hospital – or maybe the morgue. I'd be happy with that too"

"Join the club" Isaac snorted, pulling his knees to his chest.

"I thought you were her friend?"

"I am – was" he sighed deeply, "she's not the same. She's dark and twisted and is being one seriously big bitch. Doing what she did to you crossed the line"

Malia frowned, glancing to the side curiously, "but you slept with her…"

He winced, "yeah. Guess I thought I had my feelings under control, turns out I didn't"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot"

"Do you think if she was normal right now… she would be a good sister?"

"Yeah" he replied, unfaltering, "the best. I think she missed that actually - having a sibling" he added at Malia's confused look, "she had a brother but he got murdered a few years back. She doesn't really talk about him much but from what's she's said they had the _best_ relationship"

"So why are you here talking to me when Kayla's your friend?"

"You're my friend too"

"Yeah but she's your _best_ friend"

"No" he shook his head softly, "I watched my best friend die" his voice shaking a little, "this thing… it's not Kayla. Not really. I should've understood that the moment we slept together because Kay wouldn't have done that. We've been there, done that whole 'maybe' thing and it never worked. All she wanted was Stiles or some affection when she was hurting… it was never real"

"… You still like her don't you? That's why Stiles is so mad at you"

"Oh he's mad all right but I think that has more to do with the fact I betrayed him by sleeping with her… we got on, even before when I was into her, but no, I think I can say for certain that I have no feelings for her what so ever – for real this time" he added with a smirk, "or pretty damn close anyway"

"That's good I guess"

"Yeah…" he sighed heavily, "maybe if Kayla is ever 'Kayla' again and not some warped version, you two could be really close"

"You think?"

"I know" he nodded, "and Malia, I really am sorry… for everything"

She sensed his sincerity, meeting his baby blue stare, "I know. Thank you. But I am still pissed off"

He chuckled to himself at the bluntness, so much like Kayla – the _old_ Kayla – he had to smile to himself, "I wouldn't expect anything less" adding 'from a Hale' in his head.

* * *

She hated nightmares. It wasn't often she felt fear these days except in the crippling clutches of her subconscious where she always suddenly felt very alone and very afraid, _human_ even. It was like when she was awake she was able to shut out the bad memories, to scoff at them and push it to the back of her mind but when she was asleep and vulnerable, especially when it was a damn good sleep too, it was like a can of worms were being opened and everything just started spilling out and she couldn't do a damn thing about it.

Things changed though in the dreams – she might've been getting tortured, of feeling cold and alone for what felt like an eternity, or maybe even living out her worst fears, that she was hurting the ones she once loved but one factor always remained the same: the nogitsune.

He was dead and gone but still haunting her, unable to escape his hold.

She heard his laughter, his dark voice cackling in her ears as he taunted her, told her he would always be with her and that she could never escape him, not in life and not in death, and that it was her punishment.

For a brief moment her dream-self felt panic and anger, that why should she be punished for helping someone she loved? But that passed and the terror returned until she jolted upright in bed gasping for breath, her vision blurring and sweat stinging her eyes.

It was only a dream… it was only a dream… it was only a-

"Kaylz, you alright?"

Her chest seized with panic, whipping her head to the side to see Stiles pushing himself up in bed next to her, his eyes holding nothing but concern but for a few awful seconds all she saw was him, that damn _nogitsune_ , and she had never felt terror quite that potent in a long time.

"Yeah…" she was breathless and exhausted, night dress sticking to her skin, "fine"

He frowned in worry, reaching out to touch her arm but she jerked back, gulping loudly, "I said I'm _fine_ Stiles" her tone full of anxiety and defensiveness.

His hand faltered, still half reaching out to her, "are you okay?"

"Dandy" she snapped, looking at him and not seeing just him, seeing the _thing_ that hurt her for so long, "god you ask such stupid questions sometimes" wiping her short hair that was wringing wet with sweat away from her flushed face before realising what she said, sighing loudly, "sorry. Forget I said that"

"It's alright"

"It's not alright" she kicked away the covers that were tangled around her legs, pushing herself to her feet, "gonna head for a shower, won't be long"

"Kaylz, wait… don't you want to talk about it?" he insisted, pushing himself to lean forward as she grabbed a towel, rubbing at his left eye to wake himself up fully, "I mean-"

"I'm good" she said flatly, padding through to the bathroom and leaving the door open as she slipped the silk straps off her shoulders and let the grey material pool around her feet as she turned the shower on, giving it a few seconds to heat up before slipping in and letting the scorching hot water relax her tense muscles.

Stiles may well be her weak spot in the land of the living but his alter ego was the one that still haunted her, making her feel weak and terrified all at once.

"You're not good" and she didn't even hear him enter or step up behind her, too lost in her thoughts and the burning sensation rippling across her skin as the steam fogged up her vision, "what did you dream about?"

"What do you think?"

He must've came up behind her as she felt his warm bare skin press against her wet back, his lips just centimetres away from her ear as she shivered "you can talk to me" he whispered, "please"

"There's nothing to talk about" she muttered as his bare arm scraped past her naked body to turn the heat down a little as her skin was turning red and would probably begin to blister soon if she continued at the same roasting hot heat, his large palms enclosing around her shoulders, strong thumbs working and twisting into the muscles and she sighed contently, leaning back against body.

"Kaylz…"

"Stiles, don't" she mumbled, recognising that familiar pitying and saddened tone, shaking her head, "not now. Not here"

"... I want to make sure you're okay" he insisted, massaging her shoulders, nose buried into her wet hair, "I want to help"

She felt so warm and wanted here, his hands soothing her, his body encasing hers and why did she have to experience so much want and understanding and gentleness for a human, the guy who looked exactly like the one who tortured her until there was nothing left - no hopes, no dreams, no resistance, just an empty shell.

"I will be okay" she promised, slowly turning around in the shower to stare up at him, "just hold me"

She barely even noticed his state of undress, how the spray of the water droplets cascaded and bounced off his naked pale skin as he gently tugged her forward into his arms, holding her still under the continuous stream of water and for a second, just a _second_ , she felt safe. Like nothing could ever harm her. And in that moment she was sure she felt a spark, like the beginnings of a fire were warming her up from the inside out.

There may have already been a turning point, but now there was no going back.

* * *

When Stiles awoke he felt a weight against his shoulder and glanced down, seeing Kayla naked and half twisted in the sheets, sleeping soundly against his body and he watched her for a few moments, admiring how peaceful and normal she looked, just like the good old days, and only when she started to stir did he look away and pretend to be asleep too, ignoring the continuous thunderous beating of his heart against his ribcage.

"I know you're awake Stiles" Kayla sounded sleepy but still amused as she pushed herself up, "I feel your heart fluttering, plus your eyelids always do this tensing thing when you're faking it"

He chuckled, glancing across at her, "sorry, didn't wanna seem creepy by staring"

She sat up, holding the sheet to her chest as she smirked, "it's chill, I've put up with your staring for a while now, I'm used to it"

"Good to know" he placed his arm behind his head, stretching out a bit as he tried to waken himself up properly but Kayla just quirked a brow, glancing down at her naked body smothered in the white sheet before smirking and lifting up the end, glancing at his body under the covers.

"Wow" she said in admiration, cocking her head to the side, "nice view" not being at all shy as she took him all in.

He blushed a little, clearing his throat, "glad to know it's still an acceptable sight"

" _Veryyyy_ acceptable" she drawled out and he saw her unusually flushed cheeks crease into a smile, "so we had a shower together and still never had sex huh?"

"Guess the emotional side was more important than the physical"

She laughed, "maybe Stiles, maybe" dropping the sheet and standing up, tugging on some loose fitting clothes before grabbing her purse, "you want breakfast? I'll make a run to macdonalds, give you a chance to get rid of that morning boner - there's probably some porn on the T.V, or check my phone, I'm sure I have some self shot masturbating videos somewhere

"Uh thats... that's good to know and um... uh, Sure, yeah thanks" he smiled, sitting up and letting the sheet bunch around his hips, "just take my card and let me pay for it this time"

"No chance" she smirked, ducking out of the rom before he had a chance to object and he chuckled to himself, throwing himself back in the kingsized bed and feeling like things, _finally_ , were getting better...

...

...At least until his phone beeped.

He turned over, grabbing it from the bedside table and immediately his face fell as he saw a notification from Kayleigh, wanting to grab a bit of dinner at eight at the same café they had their date a few days ago.

Well shit.

He did like her, sure, but he wasn't sure if those were feelings one would have for a friend or if he was projecting his emotions and feelings from Kayla onto some stranger. He just didn't know and he knew he would have to find out, if not for his sake but hers.

So he texted back he would and prayed it wouldn't blow up in his face.

* * *

But _of course_ it would blow up in his face because his luck was just _that_ bad.

Okay, rewind.

He met her for dinner, feeling a little awkward as he did so, kinda hating himself for acting like a dick (an Isaac Lahey sized dick), like he was cheating somehow, especially when Kayleigh smiled at him and reached for his hand across the table, intertwining their fingers as they waited for the bill.

"Uh…" his palms got sweaty, gulping noisily, "so um-"

"You alright?"

"Yeah just uh… um dehydrated" he nervously reached for his glass of water but ended up knocking it instead, the glass pitching forward and spilling all over the table and down her outfit, "shit, oh my _god_ I'm _so_ sorry"

"It's alright" she laughed, taking a napkin and dabbing at her maroon skirt and white shirt, "you sure you're okay"

"Yeah, yeah I'm chill" he waved away her concerns, nervous sweat prickling his forehead, "just um… I uh, I don't know if this is going to work"

"Oh?" she seemed surprised, raising her brows.

"It's not you, it's totally all me, I mean you're great – _really_ – and drop dead gorgeous, I just uh… I'm in love with someone else"

She frowned, leaning forward in concern, "Stiles… your girlfriend died…"

"Uh-" shit yeah he forgot about that, "she did, you're right. But it's really complicated. Point is I, uh… I love her, y'know? And maybe if things were different then I totally would date you…"

"It's okay" she smiled, "I get it. You're in love with someone else. She's your world"

"Yeah, exactly" he sighed in relief, glad she got it.

"But then why are you still here with me?" and he frowned guiltily, "you could've just told me the first time"

"I was confused" thanking the waitress as she dropped off the bill, "I'm sorry"

"Relax, it's fine"

And just as Stiles relaxed and felt like he was able to laugh and joke with her as they got prepared to leave, Kayla and Lydia walked past – the latter having dragged her out to keep her 'occupied' – A.K.A, not seducing/murdering/torturing/causing any chaos that could be avoidable and although Kayla was rolling her eyes every ten seconds and acting like a bratty child half the time, she did kind of enjoy the company and even smiled a few times until, of course, Stiles' bad luck struck.

They were passing the café on the other side of the sidewalk and Kayla happened to, by chance, glance across the road – she didn't know what compelled her to do so, just a gut feeling, like a pull in her lower stomach, but when she did she wished she hadn't.

She stopped walking, cocking her head to the side in confusion as Lydia continued to yap on, not even noticing her stopping as she watched Stiles laugh at something that pretty girl said – Kimberly or Kylie, something weird like that, and she felt this bitter jealously twist her gut.

Beacon Hills, after all, was a small place. When you spend the night with someone in a nonsexual but meaningful way then less than eighteen hours are out on a 'date' with another chic, someone was bound to find out.

"Uh… Kayla… what is it?"

She folded her arms, her lips twisting into a thin line, "nothing. Nothing at all"

But Lydia sensed her distress and walked back over, following her line of sight and sighing in disappointment as she watched Stiles laugh and joke with another girl and just knew this would mess with Kayla's head even more.

"It's probably nothing" Lydia insisted, "they're just friends"

" _Sure"_ Kayla muttered sarcastically as she watched the chic lean around the table and kiss his cheek, "looks a little cosy for friends but _what_ do I know"

"Kayla-"

"It's fine. It's _whatever_ " she rolled her eyes, turning her back on the café, "clearly I misread the signs. I don't know how though considering we went on an _actual_ date, he made out with me against his jeep, slept in my bed and had a shower with me all without initiating any form of sex and that, to me, _was_ a big deal. Obviously not to him, but he could've at least had the balls to tell me himself instead of leaving me hanging – I could have had _so_ much sex and drugs right now it's kinda maddening"

"Stiles cares" Lydia promised, "I don't know what that is in there-"

"It's a date Lydia, don't you have eyes?"

"-but he wants you, trust me on that. He's trying to date you again, isn't he?"

"If he wants to two-time then that's fine by me, see how much I care" Kayla scoffed, anger radiating from her every pore and Lydia did – see how much she cared, that was. If she wasn't bothered she wouldn't be getting this annoyed and resentful, looking rattled to the core, "so if you'll excuse me, I have more important things I could be doing – and by that I mean fucking someone _just_ in case you never got the hint"

"Kayla wait" Lydia stepped in front of her, tilting her head up to meet her unamused stare, "why don't we go grab coffee?"

She snorted under her breath, "cos' coffee makes everything _so_ much better"

"We can talk"

"I don't want to talk" she shook her head, "you know who I talked to? Who I actually opened up to? Who the first person I let sleep in my bed since I got back, without doing anything, was?" and Lydia had a pretty good guess, "yeah, _him"_ she said with so much distaste in her voice, "and now he's putting the moves on some other chic so sorry if I've been put off"

"He's just trying to get everything straight in his head" Lydia insisted, "it was a hard time for him"

"Yeah, well, me too" Kayla mumbled, "join the fucking club. He should just decide what the hell he wants because I am _not_ playing this game" she insisted, "I will not be stringed along and played like a damn fiddle" she inhaled sharply, trying to cool herself down, "this is why I never wanted to let anyone in… because it… it-"

"Hurts" Lydia guessed, smiling sympathetically.

"I don't know" Kayla muttered, "I guess so"

"He'll pick you" Lydia whispered, reaching out to touch her forearm, "he'll _always_ pick you"

This little chat was getting a bit too deep and personal for her liking, an uncomfortable itch forming on her skin so she just rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest defensively, "not always"

"Yes. _Always"_ Lydia insisted, bright eyes going wide, "I don't know if being dead has screwed up your memory but you both have been to hell and back for each other – you quite literally" she added, bobbing her head as she spoke, "time and time again he was always by your side when you needed him, not always when you wanted – fair enough – but when you _needed_. And yeah he's made some pretty stupid mistakes, you have too" Lydia reminded her not so gently, "just give him tonight to make his mind up, to fix his head because trust me it's pretty messed up right now"

She pursed her lips, "so you want me to wait, when I could be getting some pretty amazing sex and doing some equally great dope, to maybe just get dropped like a stone?"

Lydia rolled her eyes, "enough of the dramatics"

"Screw you"

Lydia smirked, "feisty, I like"

"Fine" Kayla gave up, seeming reluctant but actually kinda understanding Lydia's words, "I'll refrain from the wild sex and meth parties for the next few hours, happy now?"

"Immensely"

"Good" the strawberry blonde grinned at her brash tone and Kayla just cocked a brow, "what?"

"I know you don't get the whole emotions thing but trust me when I say that you are so full of feeling you just haven't realised it yet"

"Unlikely" she paused for thought, "I feel pretty empty – in more ways than one" she pursed her lips, "you sure I can't just go and seduce one of those fine looking-"

"No"

"But-"

"No buts" Lydia insisted, pointing a finger at her, "me, you, coffee, now"

"Fine – but you're buying"

* * *

"Thanks for understanding, it means a lot" Stiles smiled, holding open the door for her, "can I walk you back to your car?"

"Sure"

They walked in silence, enjoying the warm night air until Stiles got a text alert and fished it from his pocket, seeing Lydia's name shining up at him and a somewhat angry text typed out.

 _'You have some serious explaining to do Stiles. I'm keeping Kayla calm for now but she's pissed. Do yourself a favour and choose what you want before she decides not to give you another chance. I'm rooting for you here Stiles'._

Oh shit.

"Everything alright?" Kayleigh frowned in concern as they stopped next to her black Fiat.

"Y-Yeah…" no, fuck, shit, he was in some deep shit right about not, "sorry I have to go, _again_ , so sorry"

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that Stiles" her voice changed, getting darker and much more eerie and he glanced up suspiciously, frowning as she glared at him, "I really thought I was putting on the charm enough to seduce you and make this easy but clearly you like doing things the hard way"

"What are you-?"

But she had knocked him out cold before he even had a chance to finish his question.

* * *

He awoke with a pounding head, blood stinging his eyes and crusting around his forehead as she blinked blearily, his entire body aching, kicking himself internally for letting someone get one up on his, especially after all his training and hard work.

"Sleeping beauty's finally awake then"

He jolted, immediately regretting that action as his head spiked with pain, pushing his sore body up and realising he was down the back of some random alleyway, probably where the junkies shot up, staring opposite him at Kayleigh who was lounging against the brick wall without a care in the world.

"You knocked me out!" he accused, touching his forehead and pulling away to see blood on his palm.

"Had to" she shrugged, "you were playing hard to get"

He pushed himself to his feet, stumbling a little as the dizziness seized hold of him but shook it off, grabbing a nearby dumpster for support, "well clearly you don't take rejection very well"

She smirked, "it's got nothing to do with rejection revenge Stiles, just cold hard cash"

He frowned, seeing double, "you what?"

She rolled her eyes and it was then she brandished her gun, holding it leisurely in her hand, "the deadpool list. I'm sure you've heard of it"

He paled, "I'm not on the list"

"Yes you are" she smirked, "not worth a lot mind you cos you're not _really_ supernatural, you were just possessed and are suffering some nasty side effects – no, it's your girlfriend I'm wanting"

Worry churned through his gun, eyeing up the gun she held confidently and wondering if he could wrestle it off her, "Kayla?"

"Yeah, quite some girl huh?" she started pacing, smirking as she watched him bleed, "there was chatter among the airwaves that a resurrection was on the cards, _weeks_ before it even happened and word was this thing, this _creature_ , whatever it was, would be worth a lot of money. So I kept my ears open, learnt some interesting things Stiles… and it led me to Beacon Hills. To you that night in the bar" he felt sick, guilt tugging at his gut, "I had to act all _sad_ and _sympathetic_ " she scoffed, "cos' you were being so pathetic… _wah, my girlfriend's been dead fifty days,_ cries, _wah I'm drinking myself to death_ … it was ridiculous"

He clenched his jaw, anger surging through his veins.

"But I knew I had to get close to you to get close to her but what I didn't count on was the whole emotions thing, that almost ruined my whole plan" she explained, "because if she didn't care then I couldn't find a weak spot but you never failed me" she continued to smirk, "you found a chink in her armour and is making her fall in love with you all over again.. cute" she deadpanned, "so if I have you then I have her, hence I get a massive pay-out and I'm talking _millions"_

"She won't come" he insisted but he knew, deep in his gut she probably would, no matter how pissed.

"Oh she will" Kayleigh nodded, "because she loves you, she just doesn't know it yet. Which is a shame because if I wasn't going to kill you both I probably would've rooted for you"

Anger flared in his molten honey eyes, "if you touch her I swear to god I'll-"

"What?" she barked out a laugh, "you can't even see straight sweetie, you have a concussion"

"You were just stringing me along this whole time"

She rolled her eyes, "boo-hoo get over it. I mean sure, you're hot, but c'mon…" she scoffed, "and anyway you're the player here, not me"

"You'll never take her down" he said confidently, "not by yourself and certainly not with a gun"

"I will" she smiled, lifting her hand and pointing the gun to his chest, "twenty four million is a big incentive"

Twenty four- _what?_ Holy shit.

She grinned at his look, still holding the gun on him before showing him his phone she held in her hand, "sent her a text, she'll be here any moment"

He shook with worry, glancing down the alleyway, "no…"

"Yes"

"Please… please don't do this" eyeing up the gun, _"please"_

"Too late" and she grabbed him, pulling him forward and wrapping an arm around his chest and holding the gun directly against his temple, "watch" nodding down the alleyway to the entrance, "any minute now in… three… two… one… heh, right on time"

He watched with wide eyes as Kayla appeared around the corner, looking severely pissed off and angry but that look soon disappeared when she saw Stiles then spotted the gun, dropping her hard, defensive look and he was sure it was frenzied worry that spiked through her green stare.

"Welcome to the party" Kayleigh grinned as Kayla's shock slowly wore off, her eyes flashing that dark luminous green in anger, "sorry to cut it short but I'm going to kill you now"

"Oh is that right?" she challenged, quirking a brow.

"Yes" Kayleigh said simply, "otherwise cutie pie over here gets a bullet in the brain"

She met his gaze, checking him over before glaring at Kayleigh, "and what makes you think I care if he lives or dies?"

She laughed, "because you do. He's your weak spot and you will do anything to protect him. Love makes you weak, my friend, even if you don't realise it"

Kayla clenched her teeth in fury, "you are _no_ friend of mine, and because of that I'm going to walk over there quite calmly and pull your _pathetic_ spine from your body and snap it in half and leave you for the rodents to eat - I hear they get hungry this time of year" starting to walk forward, forehead lowered and fists clenched, the air around them dropping a few degrees but Kayleigh just tutted, forcing the gun harder against his temple as he winced and Kayla faltered, dropping her tough exterior.

"You don't _really_ think I'm dumb enough to not set up some precautions?" Kayleigh laughed, "I know you're strong, and I know what your powers are like" dropping an arm to lift up Stiles' top and he didn't even realise he had something strapped around his torso until she tugged at it and he felt fear tingle through his body, watching as Kayla's eyes widened.

"A bomb" Kayleigh grinned manically, "pre-set to go off in, oh, three minutes forty-eight seconds. If you're not dead for good this time I'll let the bomb go off and blow your lover boy into smithereens. If you _are_ a bloody mess before then I'll type in the password and disable the bomb. It's your choice. Your life… or his?"

 **A/N) okay so a little shorter but im so busy so I decided to stay up till like 3am to get this out haha ooooh cute stayla, jealous kayla LYLA goals af and ooooh drama, bet you never guessed about Kayleigh lol poor stiles doesn't have luck with the women haha hope you all liked and it would be super cool if you could leave your thoughts below, thank you so much, see you soon** **x**


	21. Chapter 21 - The Devil and the Angel

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any way shape or form :( waaaah ha, anyways a massive and thankful shoutout to SS (ha, so agree with your rant about season six lol), Jaysweet112197, WitchLove, Autumn, Guest, x XRoweenaJAugistineX x, Nina, 19Irene96, siriuslylovehp, TheMysteriousPerson -0-'-0, Guest, Dark Angel Assasin's (hm not too sure, quite possibly yes haha), linda96 and zvc56 for reviewing, you all rock hope you enjoy the next chapter x**

 **Also published a sneak peak for book four (the sequel to this one) last night as well, woooo ha so you can check that out if you want.**

If Kayleigh had asked her that question over a week ago she would know what her answer would be. She would choose her life over _anyone's_ , regardless of the consequences because she flat out wouldn't care. As simple as that. No if's buts or maybes. Except now, when she was faced with a choice she just… she couldn't make it. She didn't know why not, she didn't understand why it was so damn _difficult_. It just was. And that was the scary part.

She continued to stare at Kayleigh in distaste, her gaze full of murderous intent.

"Is that supposed to scare me?" Kayleigh chuckled darkly, tightening her grip around Stiles, "sweetheart, I've dealt with far bigger baddies than some sexed up slut so tone down the glare"

"I will rip your throat out"

"Try again" Kayleigh smirked, twisting her arm around so Kayla could see a dainty little bracelet hanging from her wrist, "Wolfsbane and the crushed flowers from the deadly nightshade plant, it counteracts your abilities so no mind games, no compulsion and none of that freaky telekinesis stuff you do like making the gun fly from my hand – you're powerless… oh dear, oh dear" she mocked, softly shaking her head, "what a shame"

She faltered, her gut twisting with nerves, "I'm going to take joy in killing you… slowly, painfully…"

"All words" Kayleigh smirked, "but careful, I would really _hate_ for my finger to slip-" twitching it slightly over the trigger of the gun and her breath caught as she saw Stiles wince, his eyes flitting from side to side nervously, "-wouldn't you?"

Ignoring the painful ache in her chest which she was now only associating with worry, she just shrugged and plastered an indifferent expression on her face, "kill him then. Go on, do it, shoot him" she urged, "I _dare_ you"

Kayleigh appeared shocked at that, the cocky arrogant smile dropping from her face, "what?"

"Have you gone deaf?" Kayla snarked, "or no speak English? Kill him. I don't care either way"

"Kaylz" Stiles choked out, totally panicked, "wh-what are you doing?"

"Don't act so surprised Stiles" she scoffed, "you mean nothing to me. _Nothing"_ she reiterated, calm eyes slowly sliding across to stare at Kayleigh who looked like her whole master plan was unravelling in front of her very eyes, "In fact you would be doing me a favour getting rid of him – like a damn dog he is, yapping at my heels for some attention. It's pathetic. So go ahead… shoot him"

Stiles' panicked stare was full of betrayal and disappointment, jerking in Kayleigh's arms but she just tightened her grip around him, pressing the barrel of the gun harder against his already bruised temple.

"I think you're bluffing"

Kayla laughed, throwing her hands up, "then try me. Pull the trigger"

Because pretending _not_ to care was the most exhausting thing she had done. Emotions were tiring enough as it is, but when someone was threatening the one person that made her question everything she thought she believed in and who she was slowly beginning to trust and, dare she say it, become attached to, it became even harder.

Kayleigh's bottom lip curled in anger, her eyes narrowing furiously as she pulled on the trigger and Stiles' eyes snapped shut, his face screwed up in fear but nothing happened, just an empty clicking sound echoing down the alley way.

Kayla smirked, looking far too pleased with herself, cocky even, "you're right. I can't do anything to _you_ , but that doesn't mean I can't do anything to the gun. What an _inconvenient_ time for it to jam, hm?"

Because _of course_ she wouldn't let anything happen to Stiles, wasn't that obvious yet?

Kayleigh let out an aggravated noise, throwing the useless gun to the ground and shoving Stiles to the side so his back slammed off the concrete wall and she slipped up for a second, letting her eyes dart to the left to check he was alright and that was where she messed up.

"You're a good liar, I'll give you that" Kayleigh chuckled, "in fact you almost had me there for a minute, thinking you didn't care but _of course_ you do" she added, "you have three minutes before he goes ka-boom, choose wisely"

"Bring it" Kayla smirked, starting to stride forward, "because I'm going to enjoy ripping you apart limb from limb until you're _begging_ for me to kill you-"

"Kaylz-wait-stop" Stiles rushed out, blinking rapidly as blood from his head wound seeped into his right eye and she faltered, casting him a curious look, "don't" he muttered, nodding down to her feet and she stopped dead in her tracks, glancing down to see a very thin near invisible bit of wire pulled across the length of the alleyway and clenched her jaw, following the wire until she saw it rigged up to a pile of explosives hidden opposite her behind some tin trash cans and practically snarled, glaring up at Kayleigh.

"Sneaky move" she mumbled, _"coward"_

Now both her plans had failed and judging by the look on her face she didn't have a plan C.

"You won't kill me" Kayleigh declared though her voice shook a little, beginning to sweat nervously, "only I can disable the bomb, remember?"

"I've done some reading" Kayla stated, stepping over the wire and inching forward slowly, "I'm sure I know my way around some explosives which means, sadly, we don't need you alive. Such a _shame_ " she mumbled sarcastically, stepping closer and closer to her, "say bye-bye now"

She reached out, grabbing her around the throat and yanking her forward, tightening her grip to the point where her eyes bugged from their sockets, choking on what little air she had in her lungs, desperately clawing at Kayla's arm to try and stop her but she just smirked and grabbed her throat tighter until blood vessels starting popping in her eyes.

"No-one… threatens… _me"_ Kayla growled lowly, pulling her flush against her body as she started to sag, "and _no one_ harms one hair on his head, understand?"

She was quickly running out of oxygen, her brain deprived of it for too long, Kayla's well placed fingers stopping the blood flowing through the arteries in her neck and she could barely manage a panicked nod before Kayla smiled wickedly, propelling her backwards with so much force her back smashed into the concrete ground, flipping around and a sickening crunch echoed around them as her skull split on impact.

"I think someone just had a whoopsies" Kayla grinned, slowly walking forward until she was standing over Kayleigh's bruised and battered body, beginning to convulse with the severity of the head injury, "you should probably wear a band-aid on that"

"Kaylz-"

"I know, I know" she waved away his concerned voice, cocking her head to the side as she bent down to smirk at Kayleigh, "I'm going to let you bleed out… _slowly_ … in _agony_ … because that's what you _**deserve"**_ she whispered, reaching down to touch the split skull, blood gushing from the wound, "you deserve to feel every _ounce_ of pain that's coming your way for _ever_ putting _my_ person in danger. I've seen hell sweetie and trust me…" she winked, rubbing the tips of her fingers together, watching the dark red blood seep into the dents of her fingerprints, "… you're going there" unable to stop the half excited-half devious smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth as she raised the tips of her fingers to her mouth, letting the bitter metallic blood seep onto her tongue as Kayleigh began convulsing harder, her back arching off the concrete.

"Kaylz…"

There was fear and panic in his voice and that's what snapped her back to reality, the smile dropping from her face as she threw Kayleigh one last dirty look before pushing herself to her feet and spinning around to face Stiles who was staring right back in terror, a slight shake to his hands as they held up his tee and she glanced down, seeing the digital clock counting down.

"One minute thirty-five seconds" she mumbled, "okay… okay we can do this"

"Oh can we?" he squeaked, "I wasn't aware you took explosives 101 class"

She quirked a brow, "relax alright?"

"Relax? _Relax?"_ he repeated, "easy for you to say, you haven't got a _bomb_ tied to you"

"I'll fix this" she stated, striding up to him and frowning as she examined the device wrapped around his torso, reaching out to gently touch it and he flinched like he was scared it was going to go off, "just give me a minute"

"That's all you've got – or I should say all _I've_ got" he was panicking which really wasn't helping, his breathing pace escalating to the point where a panic attack surely was imminent, "holy god, I'm going to die, this is how I die, I'm going to get blown to pieces and there's going to be bits of me scattered everywhere-"

"Hey" she reached up, cupping his jawline and tilting his head down to look at her, "I'm not going to let that happen but I _need_ you to calm down, alright?" her voice calm and as smooth as still water, her gaze unwavering from his, "do you trust me?"

He stilled at her touch, gulping silently as his stare zig-zagged across her expression before he settled on a jerky nod, beads of sweat forming along his hairline.

"Then trust that I'll help you" she murmured quietly, stroking her fingers along his face until she was cupping his cheek, trying for a reassuring smile, "so take a deep breath…"

It was stuttery and forced but he regulated his breathing, nodding at her and she just smiled before squatting down, eyes trailing over the packaging of the bomb, eyeing up the wires and letting her fingers trail across them, frowning as she did so.

"Kaylz… can you get it off?"

"Yes" she promised, "I need to cut the wires"

"Do you know which ones?"

She shrugged, "it'll be an educated guess"

"Oh" he mumbled, going pale, "that's fantastic"

She glanced up, meeting his petrified stare, "I won't let you die. I never before and that hasn't changed" and he watched her speak it so honestly and so heartfelt he had no choice but to believe her words, forcing himself to relax, to just _chill out_ because she had this in the bag, of course she did… if he could choose _anyone_ to try and disarm a bomb for him it would be Kayla –  every damn time.

"I need your jeep keys" and he passed them to her wordlessly, ignoring the shake in his hand and trying not to watch the timer count down… thirty-one… thirty… twenty-nine… twenty-eight…

"Uh Kaylz… not to rush you or anything but we're cutting it a bit close here…"

"I know, just a few more seconds…" she whispered, eyes darting from side to side as she mentally unravelled the wires in her head, quickly working out which ones to cut as she reached for the middle three, hating the doubt that welled in her veins.

If it wasn't the right wires she would most likely die. Stiles would _definitely_ die. And that scared her. But the funny thing was, she wasn't worried about herself – she had died before, it wasn't scary, not really, not when you accepted it, no, she was scared for _him_. She was terrified that by choosing wrong, by making a mistake, she would lose him. Forever.

"Kayla…" he whispered, drawing her back to him as she glanced up, their eyes clashing, the timer continuing to count down from fifteen, "… you're smart. Your brain is _extraordinary_. There's no one I trust more to fix this" he reassured gently, nodding his head at her, "if you think you've chosen right then I believe in you… just like I always have..."

Okay, wow, pressure much?

She held his stare for a couple of seconds, finding reassurance and trust in his golden brown stare, a rush of courage soaring through her veins as she just nodded, glancing down at the three wires she was holding and brought up the jeep keys, placing the serrated edge against the flimsy red wires and forced her breathing to calm, stopping her heart jumping about wildly in her chest, ignoring the numbers on the timer changing down from five… four… three… two…

She steeled herself, cutting through the wires in one go and screwed her eyes shut as she did so, half waiting for the explosion to tear them both apart, her fears and insecurities creeping up on her but was pleasantly surprised when nothing happened.

Absolutely _nothing_.

"Oh thank god…" Stiles exclaimed quietly, practically sagging over in relief as she felt this comforting buzz echo inside her, blowing out a long breath and letting her legs collapse from under her, kneeling in front of him and slowly pressing her forehead against his thigh in relief.

"You did it" Stiles whispered, tangling his hand through her hair, "Kaylz… thank you"

She just nodded silently, standing up shakily with his help and letting her fingers trail across his bare torso, cutting some more of the wires so the bomb fell away from his body and she discarded it to one side carefully, raising her hand and swiping it through her hair.

"You know, for a second back then you looked…" he paused, his tongue darting out to swipe across his dry bottom lip, "you looked kinda scared. If you didn't figure it out I wouldn't have let you die with me, you know that right?"

She avoided his gaze, glancing down at his cloth covered chest, "it uh… it wasn't me I was scared for" she admitted quietly, "I've died before. Dying isn't the scary part. Losing someone you uh… you…" what? Cared for? Maybe, she still wasn't sure, not really accepting the impact he had on her life, even now, "I just didn't want you to die" she added, "so yeah, I was scared a little. But just a little" she turned more light-hearted, smirking up at him, "don't get too cocky about it"

"I'll try not to" he promised before that sombre-serious look fell over his face as he glanced to the side to where Kayleigh's body had stopped convulsing, blood pooling around her head, "is she dead?"

Kayla didn't even spare the little bitch a single look, "don't know, don't care"

"Kayla" Stiles dragged out, slightly disapprovingly.

"What?" she asked defensively, "she was going to kill us both. Good riddance I say" she nodded affirmatively, "in fact I even let her off easy – I could've made her eat her own spleen"

"Uh… that's progress, I guess" he added, tucking some loose short hair behind her ear before sidestepping and dropping to his knees, tilting Kayleigh's head to the side to feel for the pulse in her neck and Kayla just sighed and folded her arms across her chest.

"So is she dead?" she asked bluntly, "or do I have to finish the job?"

"She's still alive – barely" he fished his phone from his pocket, immediately starting to dial 911, "I'll call and then we should get out of here and pronto"

"Wait… you want to save her?" Kayla questioned in confusion, "Why? She was perfectly fine with letting you get blown into delicious bite sized pieces, I vote letting her rot in hell"

"It's just the right thing to do" he explained, finger hovering over the call button.

"Hm" she wasn't best pleased but she tried to understand his reasoning, guessing that it was because of his emotions that he wanted to at least give her a chance to survive, probably fearful of the guilt and regret that would eat him up inside so just let him report the incident to the cops before snapping his phone shut as he got bombarded with questions, not even giving Kayleigh a second look as he pushed himself up and took her hand, leading her down the length of the alleyway.

"We should get out of here – and fast" he sounded serious, looking both ways down the street to double check no one was looking their way before practically dragging her across the road and towards his jeep, appearing slightly panicked as he stuck the key in the engine but never started it, watching the entrance to the alleyway carefully.

And Kayla just observed this, watching every emotion flicker across his face, studying the way he moved, how his hands continued to flap around him like he couldn't force himself to stay still, the way in which his bottom lip continued to get more damaged the more he bit down on it, just trying to understand why what happened resulted in a reaction like this.

"Are you… mad at me?" because what she did understand was he hated it when she killed people and she may have just killed his 'date', "I know I said no killing but, let's be real here, she _totally_ deserved that"

He settled back in the seat, twisting his head around to look at her, "no… no I'm not mad. Disappointed a little, but not mad. You felt threatened so you defended yourself. Plus she was a bad guy so there is that"

"Yeah, you sure know how to pick them" she smiled a little, gently teasing him, "seriously, I think you're attracted to the whole crazy-bad girl image"

"Maybe" he agreed, relaxing a little bit more as they spoke, "and uh… it wasn't really a date. Even before I found out she was a raging psychopath" he forced a chuckle, letting a small smile grace his lips, "I was just… confused. And lonely"

"You don't have to explain yourself" she reassured, "If you want to date other people that's your choice just… let me know first. Because I get it, the stuff I've done is pretty unforgivable. And I know I should feel bad about it but I don't. Not yet at least"

"I don't want to date other people" he promised, "Because I know that even if I try to there'll still only be one person I'd be thinking about so…"

"I've killed" she reminded him, "and set out to hurt people deliberately because it made me feel good about myself. I had sex with all those people, not just because I wanted to or found enjoyment in it, but because I wanted to hurt you. If you can forgive that, you would be a saint…"

"Then let me go grab my halo and wings" he joked, throwing her a smirk.

She sat back, seeing the emergency services lights flashing down the street and compared them both – the girl who killed and hurt and the boy who saved. Polar opposites.

"The angel and the devil" she whispered to herself, remembering how safe and loved she felt when she was at her most vulnerable, dying slowly in his arms and when she looked at him she saw nothing but good, her very own heaven sent Angel, "opposites really do attract I guess"

* * *

Stiles dropped her off a bit later after they watched Kayleigh get wheeled into the back of the ambulance, both deliberately not talking about what had happened, choosing to just have mindless chit chat back and forth, quiet bouts of silence between that listening to the radio.

"Uh… have a good night" Stiles leaned over the seats to speak to her out the window, "and I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah, sounds good" she nodded, sensing a little bit of worry oozing off him, "and don't worry – no wild sex parties will be happening without you, promise"

He loosened up a little at that, visibly relaxing at her reassurance, "o-okay, thank you"

She smiled, bidding farewell and made her way back to her room completely exhausted and, dare she say it, emotionally drained – which was weird considering the minimal amount of emotions she _actually_ had. But whatever she may have felt back there, this pure raw protective instinct when she saw Stiles being put in danger made her feel on edge and not quite right. Like it actually shook her up a little. She still didn't feel normal, her stomach still churning.

She swiped her key-card through the lock, flicking on the light switch and dropped her bag and jacket to the floor in a heap but glanced up when she saw a silhouette standing against the balcony windows and scoffed under her breath.

"If you're here to confront me that's _really_ not a wise move. I have a tendency to throw people through windows and we _are_ rather high so…"

Malia turned around, a displeased frown tugging at her brows, "I didn't know where else to go. Isaac said I'm still feeling mad and bitter because I never got to have it out with you"

"How did you even get in here?"

"I asked for a key-card, said I lost mine" Malia duh'd, rolling her eyes, "The guy at the front desk gave me one so I guess we must look alike"

"Poor me" Kayla snarked.

"I feel a lot of hate for you right now" Malia replied, looking at her up and down, "I hate you for the things you've done. You were gone for months. You never saw what your death did to your friends but I did. I was there. I watched them all hurting and not once since you've been back did you acknowledge their pain. You just don't care about anyone but yourself"

"So simple minded" Kayla sighed, shaking her head at Malia from across the room, "you don't know what I feel"

"You feel nothing"

"I wish" Kayla muttered, "because life was easy when I didn't give a flying fuck. And now things are… complicated"

"You don't deserve them" Malia told her bluntly, "because from what I've seen, you're the enemy"

"Wrong again" she stated.

"I feel sorry for them because they can't let you go" Malia explained, "going against their own morals and better judgement because they want you back. I feel bad for Stiles – you're hurting him and you just don't care"

"I _know_ I've hurt him, I know that alright?" she snapped, "I'm not blind, nor stupid. But he asked me to try so I'm bloody well trying"

Malia sighed, crossing her arms, "I don't trust you"

"Smart move"

The werecoyote frowned, "let's get one thing straight… we may share the same biological dad but you are _not_ my sister"

She didn't know why but that sort of hurt a little bit, recoiling as if she'd been slapped.

"Good" she lied, "fine by me. Do you feel better now?"

"Not really" Malia admitted, her brows creasing in thought.

"Then you just wasted a trip" Kayla smirked, reaching for the door and swinging it open, "you can go now"

"I just said what they're all too scared to say" Malia walked forward, her voice void of any and all emotion, "they got attached to you. I never did. So I can see who you really are… a bad person" she whispered the last bit, "we were warned in Mexico. We were told that the dead that come back aren't whole. If I didn't hate you for everything you've done then I might've felt sorry for you…"

Her eyes flared with anger, "I don't need anyone's pity, least of all yours"

"Stiles is a good friend" Malia said softly, "if you hurt him, I'll make sure you pay"

"What about the hurt he caused me? Has everyone forgotten that?" she whispered, "because, sure, it was my choice to save him and I accepted the consequences, I accepted dying. But when I… when I woke up there, with him… sometimes I wished I…" she glanced down, hating the words almost out of her mouth, "hell messes with your head. It changes you into someone you don't even recognise. So when you have forever to think of everything that you've done, you begin to resent the choices you made when you were alive. If I never fell for Stiles I wouldn't be like this. And I know it sounds like I'm blaming him but I'm not. It's just factual truth. He made me hurt because I loved him. So yeah, I've been acting out. I've been a massive bitch, I accept that, but is it so selfish of me to want someone to just… understand?"

"Understand?" Malia's features twisted into confusion, staring over at her in disgust.

She faltered, letting the door swing shut, "understand why I'm like this. Why my humanity got burned out of me. Because our friends may sympathise but they won't ever understand what it was like because they've never _been_ there. They've never felt that horrible piercing cold, or being so alone for years on end. Scott saw a memory, but he never understood it. It wasn't just about pain, it was about being weak and broken and having no escape. Unable to live but couldn't die. I could only take so much Malia… imagine living out your mom and sister dying a thousand times in a row-" she flinched, "-or getting the chance to see your babies-your _beautiful_ children grow up, only to have them die in your arms? Watching the face of the person you loved more than your own life cut you apart until you wished you could just disappear and not exist? Can you imagine existing for centuries with no laughter or enjoyment, just pain and misery? Can you?"

Malia was watching her, studying her carefully, her eyes glassy with tears as she shook her head because no, no she couldn't imagine that. It was unfathomable.

"I held out for so long… I tried to keep caring, no matter how bad it hurt, until something inside me just snapped. No trigger. Just a build-up of everything. And once I started to let the resentment and hate in did it become me. I got weak and now I don't… I don't understand emotions or feelings because they're not there. At least… they weren't" she added, "and no one can understand how that feels"

"I'm sorry you went through that. I am" Malia nodded, "it sounds horrible. But you've still hurt a lot of people, that hasn't changed"

"I'm working on being a better person. I'm trying"

"A little too late, don't you think?"

She deflated at that, shoulders hunching over, "maybe"

"Goodbye Kayla" Malia brushed past her, pulling the door open and stepping through, "I don't want you as a sister and I don't want to be a Hale. I just want to be what I've always been. A Tate. I have a family already. My dad is my _real_ family"

"Understood" Kayla nodded, spinning around to watch Malia leave, grasping the door handle as she went to shut it, "see if I care about your paternity issues" slamming the door shut in her face and blowing out a long breath, running her hands through her hair.

Malia was blunt and straightforward, not to mention a little simple, but she was right. She couldn't excuse her behaviour because of what happened. It was just a contributing factor. God she was so confused. Confused and overwhelmed and, dare she say it, maybe starting to feel… remorse? Regret? Maybe she wanted people to understand what she went through so they wouldn't blame her, was that so terrible?

She shivered, not even undressing as she climbed under the duvet and pulled it up around her face, her brain going into overdrive as this cold chill swept over her, her stomach sinking, a gentle whooshing hum echoing around her.

She glanced around the dark room, stomach in knots as she tried to reassure herself that it was all in her head, that the talk of hell and the memories desperately trying to push themselves forwards was just messing with her brain and settled back down, wrapping herself securely in the bedding.

"It's just in your head Hale…" she whispered, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end, "it's just in your head…"

No. It wasn't. And she would find that out very soon.

* * *

"You brought bagels" Kayla yawned, trying to focus on Stiles as she let him in the next morning, "how cute"

"Figured you might be hungry" he shrugged, handing her the bag as he stepped into the room, "was I right?"

As if in response her stomach growled loudly and he chuckled as she threw him a glare, "I'll take that as a _yes"_

She just rolled her eyes playfully but plopped herself on the edge of the bed, still dressed in her clothes from the night before and near enough ripped open the bag, eating practically half the bagel in one bite.

"So uh…" Stiles snorted to himself at her _graceful_ eating habits – note the sarcasm – before meeting her stare, "-I dropped past the hospital. Kayleigh's still in critical condition"

"Good" she exclaimed through a mouthful of food, catching his deliberate stare and faltered, "I mean, wow, that's really terrible. We should send a fruit basket"

A wide grin tugged at his lips at her monotone voice, somehow finding it kinda hilarious how she acted, "it's okay. Don't pretend not to hate her. I hate her too, bitch almost blew me up"

"That's the spirit" she cheered, biting into the bagel again, "so what's with the early morning visit?"

"Couldn't sleep" he shrugged, "so thought we could maybe, y'know, do something?"

"At 5am?"

"Uh… good point"

She smirked, "are you getting separation anxiety?"

"Quite possibly"

She laughed, scoffing down the rest of the bagel before balling up the bag and throwing it expertly in the trash can across the room, "well you could get into bed with me?"

"Uh…" he flushed red, "I don't think that's such a good idea-"

"Not to have sex" she reminded him, a twinkle in her tired gaze, "just to… to…" she trailed off, shrugging a shoulder, "I don't know, cuddle or something?"

He tilted his head to the side, "you would want to do that?"

"Maybe" she tried to downplay it, avoiding his gaze, "I don't care"

He smiled that half-crooked grin, his heart warming at her words, "okay… but I get to be the big spoon"

She looked up, half offended-half insulted, "excuse me?"

"That's the deal" he laughed, "take it or leave it"

"But… you love being the little spoon" she reminded him but he could sense her insecurities ripple through her body, probably slightly against the idea of being put in a vulnerable situation.

"I do" he agreed, "but you were dead for two months… I kind of just want to hold you" he admitted, "feel your heart beating… your breathing…" unable to get the images of him holding her cold stiff dead body out of his mind, remembering the slick blood sticking to their bodies as he cradled her until it dried, yearning to feel her warmth instead of the horrible ice cold he remembered.

"Oh" she mumbled, "that was pretty deep"

"I'm a pretty deep kinda guy"

Her eyes softened, nodding at him as she crawled backwards into the bed, "fine. But just a warning – I'm not always going to be this soft, you just caught me at a bad time"

"Yeah yeah Kaylz" he laughed, shrugging off his shirt and climbing in next to her, sliding down against her back and wrapping an arm around her waist, pulling her flush against his body, "I _totally_ believe that"

She craned her neck back to peer at him, "I'm being serious"

"Uh huh" he smirked, unable to stop the giddy feeling running through his veins.

"For real Stiles. I'm just too tired to argue"

"Mmmmm" he nodded, "sure baby"

She opened her mouth to retaliate playfully but stopped, clamping her mouth shut as she twisted onto her back to glance at him, "Malia was right. I don't deserve you" she admitted, "but I'm glad you're here"

That sincere look returned to his eyes, his body relaxing at her warmth, "yeah… right back at you"

She smiled faintly, pressing a soft kiss to his jawline and then to his lips, ruffling his hair teasingly before settling back down, letting his arms wrap around her from behind, his face nuzzled into the crook of her neck as he pressed lazy kisses along the curve sending a delighted shiver coursing through her body.

"What you said, last night" he clarified quietly against her skin, "to Kayleigh about uh-about not caring for me, that was just a really good bluff right?"

"Of course" she whispered, staying still in his grasp as the tiredness seized a hold of her body, her feet intertwining with his legs, "if she knew you were my Achilles heel for sure she wouldve hurt you just to get to me. I couldn't let that happen"

He smiled against her skin, "really?"

"Yeah... Really" she promised wholeheartedly with as much emotion in her voice as someone with no feeling could, a pleasurable hum coursing through her at the feel of his breath dancing across her bare skin.

She reached down, taking a hold of his hand and guided it upwards until it was resting over her heart, letting the continuous strong beating pulsate against his palm.

"Not a word of this to anybody" she whispered, letting her eyes flutter shut as she relaxed in his arms and Stiles just smiled gently, getting lost in the feel of her heart beating, the rhythmic feeling he had missed so damn much over the last while, too absorbed in the tenderness and warmth to answer.

The heart he had felt stop, the very same heart he had cried for he was now holding in his hand and he swore to himself, right then and there, he would protect it above all else, not willing to go another day, another minute, another _second_ without it.

 **A/N) AHHHHHHH WOOOOOOOHOOOOOO lol, sorry it took a few days longer, I hate my busy life lol but omg I really hope you all enjoyed that wee kinda heartfelt chapter, NOT LONG UNTIL YOU ALL WILL DEFINITELY BE PLEASED WITH SOMETHING I WRITE *hint hint* ha, so please please review and I shall see all you wonderful people very soon :)**


	22. Chapter 22 - You make me human

**disclaimer: teen wolf not mine haha and a massive thankful shoutout to all those that reviewed last chapter, you're all wonderful, including zvc56, Amandalucia, wallflower, linda96, BeccaSco, guest, guest, EllieDragon, guest, Tazytara, bella and yourpalmoony (awww hehe) thank you, I love you all, hope you enjoy xxx**

"Another bad dream huh?"

She twisted around in the bed sheets to peer back at him, running her hands through her sweaty frizzy hair, "what gave it away?" chuckling humourlessly.

He pushed himself up, reaching out to stroke up and down her spine, feeling the damp sweat that clung to her body through her top, "you want to talk about it?"

"No" she shook her head a little, sending him a soft smile, "they're just dreams. They're not real"

He knew that wasn't strictly true. Her nightmares were based off what was real with her - what had happened when she had died. If she was capable of feeling more than a handful of emotions, he would've suspected she was suffering from PTSD.

"I know you don't believe me" she read his expression easily, "but I'm fine. Honestly. And you're late for school"

"I don't have to go in today-"

"I don't need babysat" she smirked, "go. I've got stuff to do anyway"

She pulled herself from the bed, grabbing a towel before staring over at him as he sat and watched her, his brows furrowed in concentration.

"I just uh... Well..." Stiles fumbled a little over his words, "we could always do something instead? Together?"

"Stiles... You're smothering me" she said bluntly, "it's too much. I can't be around you 24/7"

"Oh. Oh right, yes of course" he nodded, "it's okay, I get it. I'm coming on too strong right? I'm sorry, my bad"

"A little strong yeah" she admitted, "I know you're a fan of the pro-emotions but you really need to take it easy. This, us, whatever that was-" she flung her arm out at the unmade bed, "-it was nice. Sort of. But I still don't understand it. And I don't think you get that even if I do feel again, I won't be the same. You're acting the way things were before I died, before everything that happened… and things won't ever be that way again and I don't think you understand that"

He deflated, that sad glint returning to his honey brown stare, "I know things won't be the same. I know they _can't_ be. We've both changed. We're not the same kids we were when we got together, but I _know_ that connection still exists. And you know what? It's stronger than ever" he declared passionately, that loving fire returning to his stare, "The fact you're willing to even try after everything shows that and I see a difference. In you" he added, his voice turning soft, "before… when you first came back, you were…"

"Evil?" she guessed, her lips quirking.

"Hard" he tilted his head to the side, thinking, "empty. Void even. But now you're… you're softer around the edges. It's like piece by piece you're slowly coming back to us… to me" his voice cracking a little, looking close to tears, "but you're right, I'm sorry for pushing so much I just… I missed you" he admitted, "I missed you for so long and now you're back I sometimes forget that you're different. But being different is fine, it's okay" he rushed to reassure, "I still love you"

When he used to say that when she first came back she hated it, she loathed the words that left his lips but now she kinda liked it in some weird way.

"You hate me a little too though, right?"

He sighed heavily, "Kaylz-"

"I'm just asking for the truth Stiles, it won't hurt me" she shrugged, "c'mon, be straight with me here"

He paused, unable to meet her stare, "… there's still a little resentment there I guess"

"See? I'm not completely oblivious"

"I'll get over it" he promised, "I will. Because what we had, _have_ , is worth it"

"What about Isaac?"

Immediately his posture stiffened, an angry edge buzzing around him, "what about him?"

"He's your friend-"

" _Was_ my friend"

"-if what we had is worth forgiving and moving on, shouldn't the same thing happen with Isaac?"

"I'm not in love with Isaac, in fact I didn't even like him that much"

She quirked a brow, "now we both know _that's_ not true. You both annoyed each other but you cared for him. I'm not stupid Stiles, I do have eyes now you know. I mean it was a bit touch and go for a couple of months what with them being all liquefied and maggot food but you get the idea"

He snorted at her explanation but still didn't let up, "I can't forgive him. Not yet. Because he knew what he was doing. He _knew_ he would be hurting me and betraying Paige, he knew that you weren't yourself but he still went ahead and slept with you anyway. I can't look at him without seeing the two of you… the two of you like that. Imagining it. It's torture. Because at least with you we weren't together, still aren't really, and you said yourself you were free to do what you want, who you want, but Isaac was my friend. I opened up to him. He wasn't thinking of anyone but himself when he slept with you"

"Uh… sex" she said bluntly, "sorry, just 'slept with' makes it sound all romantic and lovey-dovey when it wasn't. When he had sex with me" she corrected.

Stiles winced, "right…"

"I wish I could say sorry and mean it fully. You deserve at least that much"

"If you're even a little bit sorry that's enough for me" he muttered quietly, "so the verdict on Isaac is still guilty. And it probably will be for a very long time"

"Shame. We all could have had an awesome threesome. Relax – just joking" she added at Stiles' horrified look, "maybe. But if you were up for it you could have totally have taught him some moves"

He looked at her unamused but soon smirked a little, shaking his head, "oh please, if there was anyone we were going to have a threesome with it would definitely not be Isaac. Scott would be a much better candidate"

"Don't go putting ideas in my head"

He snorted, picking up his shirt off the floor, "I'll give you some space. And I'm sorry for crowding you"

"Wait" she called out as he turned away, not even really sure why she was calling him back because she asked him to leave, not wanting to be crowded but still yearning for a little comfort from him, "uh... You can have a shower here if you like" she suggested, "you're all sweaty"

"You're so complimentary Kaylz"

She grinned, "you were hot last night under the covers but you didn't want to risk waking me by moving" she guessed, and judging by his eyes widening slightly she got it spot on, "you used to do it all the time. Be my personal hot water bottle and end up overheating"

"Uh..." He paused, watching her expression before quirking his lips, "you looked too peaceful to wake up"

"So take a shower with me" she whispered, "just a shower. And then you can go to school. Deal?"

How could he say no to an offer like that?

He nodded faintly, biting back his sudden nerves as she smirked and swayed into the bathroom, slowly peeling off her clothes and dropping them to the tiled floor and he was hot and sticky enough as it was, cheeks still tinged pink that the more he watched her undress the more he stiffened and flushed, wishing desperately that he wouldn't get a painfully awkward boner.

She slipped into the standing shower, letting the spray of water cascade down her bare body and glanced over her shower, arching a brow at him, "well? I'll even promise not to have the water too hot?"

To normal Kayla that was a near impossible request to ever get fulfilled. She loved her baths and showers scorching hot as in _burn-your-skin_ kind of hot and would not willingly give it up but Kayla when she was like this, all no emotions and kind-of evil, it was a damn miracle. See? It was the little things he was noticing more and more. How she paid for dinner or sucked up colder water for him. That told him a thousand things so he didn't need to hear her say she loved him. She was showing him, even if she didn't realise it herself.

He smiled back faintly, pulling his tee over his head as he walked, shaky fingers undoing the button and zip of his jeans as he let them fall to the floor, slipping out of his socks and tugging away his briefs and watched the glass enclosure of the shower begin to steam up, the outline of her body just barely visible.

Damn, she was beautiful.

He opened the door and slipped in, curious loving brown eyes trailing down her body as he stepped closer, pressing a faint kiss to the back of her neck, "just a shower" he confirmed, repeating what she said a few minutes ago.

Her head tilted to the side a little as his hot breath fanned across the wet skin of her neck, craving the feel of his lips moving along her flesh, her body already on high alert as she yearned for some physical contact but was left disappointment as instead of his mouth attaching to her neck, she felt the brittleness of a facecloth rubbing at her skin.

She opened her eyes, blinking against the spray of water as he rubbed some body wash into her skin, frothing it with the cloth and although she knew he was against the whole sex thing just now because he 'wanted more' and their 'relationship was more than just physical' she couldn't help but feel a little rejected. She was naked. He was naked. Both wet. It was the perfect oppertunity.

She sighed in disappointment and he must've heard because he stopped scrubbing her back and she could just imagine the frown tugging at his brows, "you okay Kaylz?"

"Yeah. Fine" because she was, she always was. Not feeling meant she shouldn't have these periods of low mood, she shouldn't feel sad or lonely except she was starting to and that terrified her.

He turned her around, cupping her jaw and bringing her face up to stare at him, "I'm not saying no because I don't want you or find you undesirable because, God... You're beautiful. _Stunning_. Everything I want. You understand, don't you?"

No. Maybe. Kind of.

"I'm trying to" she shrugged, "but the logical part of me is screaming inside my head that this - us - is of no benefit to me so I should just go out and continue screwing other people because that's what I'm comfortable doing. Or was until... Until you got in my head and told me all those things and made me attached to you again. I'm just confused. And horny" she added, "and even more confused about these severely uncomfortable things racing through my body. Like no, I don't want you regret, go away. Except it doesn't go away. Whenever you're around I feel bad, like I deserve a punch for everything I've done to you and I still can't figure out why"

He inched closer, their chests touching as he slid his hand up to cup her cheek, "you're overthinking" he whispered, "which is probably a good thing"

"I just... I like this" she admitted, slipping her arms down around his waist, "which is irrational and stupid because I really shouldn't need or want validation from anyone - compliments and attention? Sure, but not approval. Except I get it with you and it constantly feels like you're rejecting me"

"Not rejection" he murmured, "because this... Us..." His voice breaking and mouth going dry, "it's all I've wanted since-since I met you. I just want to do it right. I want to fix us the _right_ way"

"Okay" she sighed, "okay, that's fine"

Still cupping her cheeks he pressed a faint kiss to her wet forehead, tilting his head down and brushing his lips over hers needily before pulling back and throwing the cloth at her and grinning cheekily as she raised her eyebrows as if to say 'what the fuck was that for?'

"Your turn" he winked, turning around so his back was to her, "and make sure you get between my shoulder blades, I can never get that bit"

"Chancer" she grumbled but couldn't help the quirk of her lips as she trickled some body wash onto the cloth and rubbed it across his back, deliberately turning it into a wet massage session as she thumbed her way through the knots in his back, trying to get rid of some of the tension and judging by the pleased groans that escaped his lips, she knew he was enjoying it.

"Damn... I forgot how great you are at massages" he praised, sighing in relief as she dug her fingers into his lower back between his hips, "like... _Sooooo_ good"

She smirked to herself, her hands almost sinking lower as she felt her chest hum and purr in enjoyment but caught herself before she could, skilled fingers pausing as she bit her lip and allowed her eyes to trace over his speckled back, wanting nothing more than to have her nails scratching the pale skin as he moved over her but shook her head to dispel those thoughts.

He must've sensed her hesitation or maybe just knew what she was thinking because he turned back around and smiled lightly down at her, "Sorry. Standing in front of you naked probably isn't helping your self control"

"Not really" she admitted, "but if you wanted I could totally go down on you, that doesn't _technically_ count as sex"

"Thanks for the offer but I'm gonna have to stick with no"

"You sure?" She asked, "or maybe even a handjob. We both know I'm great at those"

He chuckled, "I know you are. Spectacular actually"

"Oh well, it was worth a shot" she shrugged, turning the water hotter and smirking at him, "that was your cue to leave by the way. I did only say you could stay for a shower"

He smiled, sarcastically saluting her, "yes ma'am" but despite the burning hot water now streaming down and bouncing off his skin he still took the time to tangle his hand through her hair and pull her forward into a breathtaking kiss and despite his efforts to not get turned on she still felt his semi pressing against her hip.

"I'll see you later" he murmured sweetly, lips dusting along her skin to kiss her flushed cheek tenderly, "till the end of the road, remember" he promised just as he sidestepped out the shower, wrapping a towel around his hips but glanced at her from the corner of his eye, watching her watch him through the steam and smiled genuinely, more sure than ever she was slowly but surely coming back to him. He had hope now and it felt _good_.

And when he did that - when he smiled that cute little smile that wasn't forced or fake she could see in his eyes every emotion he was feeling. It was as clear as day, overwhelming her to the point where she felt something snap inside her. Like a piece of her armour protecting her fragile state just broke and she hunched over a little, resting the palm of her hand against her bare chest in surprise.

He smiled at her and she cracked apart, a surge of something warm and welcoming racing through her veins. Like spring, a feeling of calm blossoming in her chest.

... He smiled at her. Just a smile. But it was enough to make her feel something she hadn't felt in a long time - something she thought long gone.

She felt grounded. Stable. Steady. To put it simply... She didn't feel lost. She felt at home.

* * *

She she didn't know what possessed her to turn up here of all places. She didn't want to, she _really_ didn't want to, but a part of her - just a small part - felt like she had to. Maybe it was nostalgia, or maybe she just wanted to say a final 'fuck you' to the woman that singlehandedly almost ruined her life several times but here she was, leaning against an old and obnoxiously tall grave stone, watching from afar as a black coffin got lowered in the ground.

She didn't particulary feel anything watching this. Most daughters would, they would be crying and aching with loss at losing the woman that brought them up but Kayla was filled with resentment and anger, her jaw clenched tightly. People called Kayla an evil bitch but at least she was straightforward about it. Her mother was malicious and truly wicked. Good riddance, she thought.

And she did - feel happy that was. _Relieved_ even. That woman left such a big hole in her heart, the old Kayla constantly wondering what she ever did wrong to deserve the hate of her mom. But now, well... She was glad it was finally all over. She was _happy_ she didn't have to face that woman ever again.

There was only three people at the grave side - the priest, Jane and Tabby. Just shows you how popular her mom was.

He watched them throw some dirt into the open grave and briefly wondered what happened at her own funeral. Makeshift funeral rather. There wouldn't have been a priest. Wasn't a coffin. Did anyone say anything? Or were they all too sad and guilt ridden to speak? Were they careful with her body? Or just dump her there? Why did they keep it a secret? There was so many questions left unanswered that, before, she wasn't interested in. But now she was. She wanted to understand. Wanted to know why they wrapped her in a sheet and left her alone and cold when she _should've_ had a funeral. A padded coffin and actual recognition for the life she lived. She knew she shouldn't care. Dead people weren't aware of anything, but it was the thought that counted. The respect. She missed out on all that when someone like her bitch of a mother was entitled to a gravestone. What was her gravestone? A tree trunk? It kinda hurt a little, and maybe that made her feel bitter. No, not 'maybe' - _did_ make her feel bitter.

She frowned sadly, crossing her arms but felt that horrible tingling shiver up her spine again, the same one she had in the parking lot a couple of nights ago and turned around, frowning as she glanced across all the gravestones.

She had a bad feeling about something... She just wasn't sure what that something _was_.

"Kayla" a little voice screeched out and she swivelled back around, seeing Tabby running towards her and braced herself for the inevitable slam into her legs which she got, those bright childlike eyes peering up at her in admiration, "you're back. _You're_ _back_. Mommy and Stiles said you weren't coming back cos' you were with the Stars"

"Uh..." She saw Aunt Jane waddling to them at a slower pace, her expression guarded and worried and dammit - she didn't mean to get caught. The last thing she wanted was to run into them, "stars are balls of gas made up of hydrogen and helium, not the spirits of dead people. I can assure you kid, where I was it was _definitely_ not amongst the stars" she explained and tried to push her back with a finger on the forehead but the kid wouldn't let go of her hips and for a six year old she sure was strong and clingy, "and do you mind? Prolonged exposure to six year old brats makes me nauseous"

"Kay... You came" Jane mumbled, eyes trailing over her in wonder, "Derek said... He said we should stay away, that you were dangerous..."

"Oh I am" she mumbled, dropping her stare to Tabby who was grinning toothily up at her, two teeth missing from the corners of her smile, "and I'm not going to pick you up or I may be tempted to throw you"

"I missed you so much Kay" Tabby gushed, not picking up on her mom's nervousness or Kayla's distaste, "I went to the canirbal-canrival-cran-"

"Carnival" Kayla automatically corrected without even thinking, sighing tiredly.

"Yeah, that" the girl nodded, "Stiles took me and he won me a biggest teddy ever"

" _The_ biggest teddy ever" she corrected again as shenrolled her eyes, "don't they teach you basic grammar in schools these days?"

"Can I please please _please_ show you?" She asked giddily, jumping up and down and Kayla just reeled back a little as if to say 'what the hell is this little creature doing?' "Stiles named him Mr Cuddles cos' everytime I hugged him I would think of you"

"That's... Weird" she settled on saying, "and sorry kid, got better things to do than play pretend tea party with an infant and her ratty toys"

Tabby looked a little disappointed, like she couldn't understand why Kayla wasn't being nice to her but Jane just reached forward and pried Tabby's hand away from her shirt and pulled her into her side.

"It's okay Tabby, Kayla's just been through a lot lately that's all"

"That's putting it lightly" she mumbled under her breath, "and I only came to say good riddance to the evil bitch, may she rest in hell"

Jane flinched, glancing down past her pregnant belly to smile reassuringly at Tabby, "Tabs, why don't you go back to the car and eat the sweeties in the backseat, Kayla and I need to have a grown up conversation"

Tabby dropped her head in defeat and sadness but went to walk away but not before running back and hugging Kayla again, her head burying itself against her stomach and for a brief second felt warm at this show of affection but pushed it away and rolled her eyes as Tabby disapeared from sight, cocking a brow at Jane.

"What-no 'hello, welcome back from the dead, you look great'?" She asked sarcastically, "because I for one think I look pretty terrific"

"We... We all missed you. Very much so" Jane whispered, "it's really good to have you back"

"I'm sure it is" she deadpanned, "but I'm not in the mood for some sappy speech about love and family and all that crap. It would be a waste of time anyway so excuse me, now I've seen my bitch of a mother being dumped in the ground, I have things to do-"

"A part of her did love you" Jane reached out, grabbing a hold of her hand, "I found... I found old pictures, baby pictures of you, under her bed... Maybe she was ashamed to show them off, but she still kept them"

"Yeah, well, little too late" Kayla scoffed, "so please, for your own sake, go back to your perfect little family and leave me alone. Both of you" nodding over to the car when Tabby was sitting, "focus your energy on your _baby_ "

She was bitter. Maybe because she wished she had a mom like Jane - someone that _actually_ cared. Jane may love and care for her, but never as much as she would for Tabby and this new snot faced child growing in her womb - second best, yet again.

"Kayla... You're my niece" Jane smiled, "I love you. Very much so. And I'm going to stick by you because you need me. I wasn't there for you before when you and your friends were going through hell but I'm here now, okay?"

Why was that so comforting to hear?

But she hardened with resentment and bitterness, narrowing her eyes, "were you there... When they buried me?"

Jane sucked in a deep breath, pain flashing through her stare as she eventually nodded.

"Another person that was fine with dumping me" she mumbled, "well you know what Jane? I really don't need or want your help so take your baby and stay away from me"

She went to turn away but Jane's voice drew her back in, halting her on the spot.

"We didn't dump you. None of us would _ever_ do that to you. We buried you, in our own loving way. We covered you up for your own dignity. Because if Stiles, or Derek, or any one of your friends had to see your face, had to see you dead then they would break and never recover. We buried you where you used to play with all your cousins, under your favourite tree to make you feel at home. We spoke to you and said goodbye despite the heartache. So no Kayla, we never _dumped_ you. That I promise you"

She didn't know what to say, lost for words as she met Jane's stare.

"Kay..."

"No" she cut her off, "enough of the trying to make me _feel_ or _understand_. I'm going through that with Stiles, promising him that I would try and it's _exhausting_. I don't need you pressurising me as well. I am who I am. Let's just leave it at that"

Jane clamped her mouth shut, not wanting to push her because if Stiles was trying to get through to her already, she didn't want to unravel all his hard work. If anyone could get through to her, it would be him. So Jane just settled on a nod, trying to find something to diffuse the sudden tension.

"Uh... So turns out coach Finstock is the father of the baby" she said out of the blue, smiling awkwardly, "how do you suggest I go about telling him that?"

* * *

She strolled up the steps at school an hour later, totally lost in her own world, not even bothering going to the last class before lunch because she had already missed all the morning classes anyway, what was the point? Hell she didn't even know why she was in school in the first place. She could be out there doing _anything_ she wanted but _nooooooo_ , here she was going trigonometry. Trigonometry that she already knew how to do. What a _waste_.

She pushed open the main entrance doors, letting them bang harshly against the walls and immediately her gaze trailed sideways to the row of lockers and still felt that uncomfortable knot twist her gut. She died there. Literally, _right_ there. Blood smeared across the metal and soaking the floor but there was no evidence of that. No blood. No flowers left in its place. Though, she supposed, no one even knew.

She shivered, not even sure why it was kind of freaking her out as she tore her gaze away, continuing down the hallway but up ahead Paige turned down the empty corridor and as soon as she laid eyes of Kayla she saw her entire body shake with rage.

" _Great_ " she murmured sarcastically, "just what I need" continuing on her stroll with a passive expression on her face.

"You must have no shame" Paige snarled, a good twenty feet between them, just the empty expanse of the corridor around them, "walking about like you haven't just ruined relationships"

"For the _last time-"_ Kayla rolled her eyes, "-you and Isaac weren't even together when I fucked him so get over yourself. Just because I got there first"

Paige's lips thinned, mouth twisting angrily as she stepped in front of Kayla's route, her eyes full of fire, "you're a heartless bitch"

"Try telling me something I _don't_ know"

The blonde's hand suddenly whipped out and slapped Kayla across the cheek, spitting angrily, "I _loved_ him. I loved him just like I loved Harry and you ruined that as well. He was getting _over_ you" she screeched, "Isaac was _finally_ opening up to me but then you took that away from me. Why? Answer me that Kayla, why _my_ boyfriend?"

She was furious enough with Paige for the slap without the passive aggressive anger thank you very much.

"I didn't take _anything_ away from you. Isaac has his own free will and you know what he chose to do with it?" She snapped, "do you? How about I detail everything we did Hm? How he kissed me first... How he grabbed me, touching every _inch_ of me hard enough to leave bruises, how it was _my_ name he was whispering and not yours. Or maybe I should tell you _exactly_ how we fucked - not slow and sweet, no, rough and needy. Frantic even. And trust me sweetie, judging by how hard he came in me, he wholeheartedly enjoyed it and wasn't thinking of you for one _single_ second"

And yes, she said that out of spite, Sue her.

But instead of looking furious, Paige's gaze had slipped past her and Kayla just frowned, wondering what she was staring at and turned her head to see Stiles standing at the entrance with a broken expression. She didn't know where he came from or even how he appeared there, expecting him to be in class, but met his stare and felt... Bad.

Shit. He heard all that.

She could say she was sorry - well, she kinda was, she didn't like that kicked puppy dog expression on his face but she was too angry at Paige to feel anything else, whipping back around to stare at the blonde, "so don't blame me for what Isaac _chose_ to do. That's classic male superiority right there. He's just as bad as me for going through with it so stop embarrassing yourself you immature little brat"

Paige went to slap her again and no way in hell was that going to happen. She let her have the first one, sort of like an early birthday present, but not again.

She grabbed her arm, stopping her slap and pulled back her other hand and punched her square in the nose so she fell back several steps, blood gushing from her nostrils.

"Back the fuck off Paige. I mean it"

But what she didn't expect was for her to start screaming. Like full out _screaming_ at her in rage, rambling about God knows what as she held her nose and Kayla just frowned and rolled her eyes, feeling Stiles brush up against her as he tried to get Paige to calm down but she was having none of it and just as Kayla was about to pull back and punch her again, hopefully this time breaking her jaw, she saw Isaac stomping down the corridor, obviously overhearing the commotion with his werewolf hearing and shouting at them all to be quiet.

By some miracle it worked. Paige shut up, narrowing her eyes at Isaac.

"What the _hell_ is going on?" He demanded, eyes widening as he saw Paige's bloody face, "did you do this?" He raged, sending Kayla a heated glare before reaching into his pockets to scoop out some tissues and hold them to Paige's face, "what the hell Kayla"

"Oh sure, blame me" she snarked sarcastically, "because it's _always_ my fault"

"That seems to be the case on a regular basis"

"Oh shut up" she rolled her eyes, "your ex attacked _me"_

"Yeah-" he cocked a brow at her appearance, not even a hair out of place - not her fault Paige's slap was as weak as a kitten, "- _sure_ looks like it"

But Paige just sidestepped away from Isaac, still furious at him tried to stop the tears clogging up her eyes - she loved him and he betrayed her trust, yet here he was defending her honour. It made no sense.

"Leave me alone Isaac" Paige sniffed, choking through the blood still escaping her nostrils and dripping down the back of her throat, "both of you"

"Guys, chill out" Stiles tried to defuse the situation, talking some sense into them despite the still ache in his chest from overhearing Kayla but it did no use, Paige ignored him and Isaac spoke over him, only Kayla acknowledged his trying with a slight incline of her head but even she was too damn stubborn to shut up and not fight her corner.

"Paige, baby-"

" _Don't call me that"_ she screeched to Isaac, "not anymore. Call Kayla that for all I care you deceitful scumbag"

"Oh for the love of Christ" Kayla sighed, "it was a one time thing. I was bored. He was horny. End of story"

" _Shut up"_ she screamed at Kayla, "go to hell Isaac" looking like she was going to burst into tears and soon did, throwing them all a betrayed stare before scurrying down the corridor and out of sight - jeez, thank god, Paige sure did love drama.

But apparently a hurt Isaac was an angry Isaac because he turned on her, grabbing her arm and practically yanked her into one of the nearby empty classrooms, pushing her roughly against the wall and stepping in front of her, pointing an angry finger in her face.

"This is _all_ your fault" he raged, ignoring Stiles panicked and furious look after he manhandled her, "you just have to keep twisting and twisting and messing with people's emotions because you find it entertaining!"

" _She_ came up to _me_ " she shouted, shoving back at his chest so he didn't have her pinned to the wall, her eyes flashing green, "if I really wanted I could've made her drop dead at your feet but I never"

"Do you want a round of applause?"

"No, what I want is for you to admit to yourself you were in the wrong too, not _just_ me"

"Excuse me?" Isaac scoffed, "look at everything you've done. All the terrible things you have done - murder, torture... The list goes on forever"

"Stop projecting your guilt onto me" she demanded, " _you_ ruined your relationship, _you_ ruined your friendships, _you_ did because _you_ decided apparently getting naked with me would comfort you in your hour of need"

"You're such a bitch" Isaac raged.

"You know what Isaac? _Fuck you"_ she spat viciously, "hate me all you want, I don't give a damn, but don't you _dare_ blame me for _your_ actions. I fucked you, sure, whatever, wasn't that great by the way, but you know what? You fucked me _right_ back. And don't even _think_ about starting with the bullshit of 'but I was upset. I was missing my mom' blah _blah blah_. Grow up and take responsibility for what you _chose_ to do and stop hiding behind excuses. We fucked and there ain't nothing you can do to change that so quit your damn whining and just admit it was you that actually _wanted_ it. Go on, admit it. Say it - because we _all_ know it's true"

She was breathing heavily after her rant, her cheeks turning red as she narrowed her eyes at him, having enough of his passive aggressive behaviour because he regretted sleeping with her. Well, whatever, she was starting to regret it too, there was no need to act pissy and immature about it.

Isaac flinched at her harsh tone, reeling back like he had been slapped before gulping nervously and glancing to the side to watch Stiles' face fall, that devastated expression twisting his features and for a moment she felt bad about making him feel sad, but pushed it back and continued to glare at Isaac.

"You used me" Isaac said, a lot quieter than before but still seething with rage.

"Maybe" she agreed, "but you used me right on back. So go on, tell me how muchof a heartless, selfish person I am, but what does that make you? You chose sex to make you feel better, knowing full well you would be betraying your friend. So I guess that makes us the same then, huh?"

"I am _nothing_ like you"

"Get over yourself" she scoffed, "and take your head out your ass - _you_ kissed _me_ first. You wanted it and now you're hating what happened because the consequences are too big for you to handle well _boo_ -fucking- _hoo_ "

Isaac was shaking with rage and hurt, his eyes momentarily flashing blue, "I don't know what I ever saw in you" he admitted, shaking his head briefly before glancing at Stiles, "you're welcome to her Stilinski. She's all yours. I don't feel anything for you anymore, understand?" Isaac glared at her, "for real this time. No lying, no hiding the truth. No more secretly pining for you. We're done"

That kind of hurt to hear but she was too furious to acknowledge the pain it caused, rolling her eyes and folding her arms over her chest.

"And Stiles... I'm truly sorry" he apologised, much softer than two seconds previously, "I am. I hate myself for hurting you and I hope we can get past it because I would really want that... To be friends again. I want that with both of you, but not when you're like this" he met her gaze again, giving her a thorough once over, "not when you're this twisted and _evil_. So until you come to your senses just stay the hell away from me"

"My pleasure" she snapped, "and _**please**_ let the door hit your ass on the way out"

He didn't even spare her another look as he traipsed from the room and slammed the door shut, leaving her and Stiles alone once again. Except the difference from this morning and now was there was tension. _A lot_ of it.

"I uh... I didn't want you to overhear all that"

"Why?" He whispered, shaking his head sadly, "because you were bragging about screwing my friend despite promising me you didn't even enjoy it that much. I'm sorry, what were your words? A pity fuck?"

"I..." She paused, crossing her arms defensively, "I enjoyed it physically. Not emotionally"

"Not helping Kayla" he sighed.

"She needed to hear it" she defended herself, "I'm fed up of getting blamed constantly for something Isaac wanted to do"

"Yeah, it's his fault" Stiles agreed, "but it's yours too. Paige has every right to be pissed at you"

"You mean like how you're pissed at me?"

"Of course I'm pissed at you" he exclaimed, "but I love you enough to move past it. I understand that you're not you. And this morning I... I really thought things were changing. _You_ were changing. But hearing that... Hear you being so spiteful and hurtful it just... It shows me that you're still this hard, heartless person at times"

"Of course I am" she scoffed, "you said it yourself, you didn't expect results over night"

"No, but I expected you by now to at least _try_ and control yourself"

"Yeah, well, sorry to disappoint"

He ran his hand down his face tiredly, scrubbing at his eyes, "was this whole past weekend just a lie then? A game? Do you even really care about me?"

"Of course I do... In my own twisted messed up way" she said quietly, "everything in my life feels wrong since coming back. Like how I don't belong. And you're the only thing that feels right. And I... I uh... I remember"

He frowned, eyes glassy with tears, "remember what?"

"Us" she said simply, "before... Before, when I thought about us, what we had, it was like watching it on a screen. There was no connection. But now I... I remember what we went through, everything we did, everything we talked about and it's like I'm apart of it... Feeling some of those emotions. I'm fucked up" she agreed, "I hurt people because I can. Because it makes me feel strong. But you make me human. And I guess that makes me a little less fucked up because maybe... Maybe there is some redemption for me after all..."

"... Maybe" he agreed quietly, hoping with everything he had that it was true, "Maybe"

 **A)N) I'm a terrible person for not updating in two weeks but FORGIVE ME I've been busy hahaha sure hope you liked the latest update and please please please tell me what you enjoyed, I would severely love that haha and I shall see you all verrrrrry soon haha Chowie xxx**

 **ALSO got a poll up about Isaac and Kayla haha if y'all could spare a few momentos than would be fab hahah xxx**


	23. Chapter 23 - Darkness that lives within

She was making her way to the boys locker room having overhead the familiar voices and curiosity got the better of her, turning the corner but almost slamming head first into an enraged Liam, cocking a brow down to the younger boy.

"Easy kid" she advised, "you go out with anger like that, you'll be snapping spines soon enough"

"Move" he ground out through gritted teeth, "or so help me god-"

"Talk to me like that again and it will be god that'll need to help you - by praying for a damn miracle to be able to walk again" she snapped, "now calm down newbie"

He looked enraged but slowly forced himself to calm down, his jaw still clenched tightly, "there. Happy now?"

She smirked, "good boy" she teased, sending him a wink as he flushed red again, not liking the dog jokes, "now leave" her tone proving this was not up for discussion.

He glowered at her but brushed past her and she rolled her eyes, already annoyed at the kid. He was like fifteen, what could he possibly be so pissed over? She rolled her eyes, strolling into the locker room to see Derek and Scott having a quiet heart to heart and just folded her arms, waiting for the moment to end.

"-be the semester I could focus on school again. But Kate's back. And I've got a Beta. And there's a dead pool"

"If all our names are on that list, then that's what we should be focused on. Do you think Lydia can get that second key?"

"She's working on it"

"Evidently not hard enough" two pairs of raised eyebrows was all she got in return, "what? I'm just saying"

"She's trying" Scott insisted, "she's doing the best she can"

"Yeah yeah, I know. The strawberry blonde banshee is putting that big brain of hers to use, but what's the point? Of course we're all on the list. No offence but we're not exactly subtle in our abilities - I know I'm certainly not. Plus I'm worth a heck of a lot of money"

Derek just sighed but stepped towards her, "we need to see who else is on that list. For their safety" explaining it to her like she was a five year old.

"Right. Of course. Silly me" she mumbled sarcastically, "by all means, put your lives on the line for a bunch of ungrateful strangers. Most of which are probably, in fact, idiots"

Derek looked at her in disappointment but a little bit hopeful, "do you want to help us?"

"Want is pushing it" she shrugged. "I said I'd lend a hand. Throw in my two cents. That's it"

"... Thank you" he said softly, trying to give her a small smile.

"Yeah, well, don't thank me just yet" she rolled her eyes, turning to face a wary Scott, "did Stiles tell you what happened at the weekend?"

"No" Scott frowned in worry, "what happened?"

Huh, strange. Stiles told Scott, like, everything. Why not this?

"Long story short, I'm worth a shit ton of money and Stiles - you know, the human - is on there too. A human on a supernatural dead pool list, ringing any warning bells yet?"

Both Scott and Derek stiffened, sharing a worried look, "he's on the dead pool?" Scott asked hesitantly, "but... How?"

"I think we all know 'how', deep down" Kayla shrugged, holding their gazes.

"The nogitsune" Derek breathed, fury suddenly returning to his stare, "if he is possessed again-"

"He's not" Kayla stated in a hard, stern voice, "the nogitsune's dead. I should know, I was stuck in his own personal hell with him for centuries. No. I think he's suffering from some unpleasant... After effects"

"After effects?" Scott's stare widened, that worried glint gleaming in his warm brown stare, "what kind of after effects?"

"I'm not entirely sure" she admitted, "the nogitsune did mention it but I... I thought it was just another trick" she explained, "another way to hurt me. So I didn't listen. But I can't be the only one that sees he's changed? His anger, his hardness... Surely you've noticed it too?"

"I thought... I thought it was just because of losing you" Scott explained sadly, "I never thought..."

"I'm not saying he's supernatural. I'm not saying he's dangerous. All I'm saying is he's... He's different. The nogitusne was powerful. He took Stiles' body, his mind... Warping and controlling it for weeks. Maybe he still has a little of that darkness left inside him and that's why he's on the deadpool. Because he still holds just a fraction of that power. But I don't know yet, that's just speculation"

Derek and Scott were both stunned into silence, the new revelation turning both their worlds upside down.

"Wow, way to show your support" she mumbled sarcastically, "silence. _Amazing_ "

"He'll be fine, I'll make sure of it" Scott nodded determinedly, already reaching for his phone out his pocket, "I'll call Deaton and see if he's ever heard of something like this before" escaping the room without even so much as a goodbye.

"You look worried" Derek observed carefully, tilting his head to the side.

"I'm not worried" she denied before sighing loudly as Derek just cocked a disbelieving brow, "fine. I'm a little worried. I don't want him to die" she said flatly, "are we done now?"

She rolled her eyes, attempting to walk away but Derek stepped forward and reached out for her, frowning at her in concern, "I uh... I saw you at your moms funeral"

"You were there too?"

"In the distance" he replied, "I was there incase Jane needed me but she held it together remarkably well considering her sister had just died"

"Yeah, her sister who was an evil bitch. Trust me, she wasn't much to cry over"

Derek then changed the subject, recognising the anger and fury bubbling in the undertones of her voice when she spoke about her mother, not wanting to piss her off, "how was your weekend with Stiles?"

... Okay, that was definitely suspicious. Since when did Derek enquire _anything_ about her and Stiles' relationship unless it was through clenched teeth? And anyway, _they_ didn't even have a relationship at the moment. Why was he fishing?

Her brows furrowed, "good. And we didn't bang if that's what you're wondering. And no, I didn't bang anyone else just incase that was you're next question"

Derek just shook his head like 'tmi Kay', "I wasn't going to ask about your sex life. I don't really want to know about it"

"Just as well" Kayla smirked, "because it has been rather eventful-"

"He still cares about you, you know" Derek cut her off, "Stiles. You might not be the same person he fell for, but he won't give up"

"Since when were you the mascot for 'Stayla'? And it's a name combo" she explained to Derek's confused stare, "I don't know, apparently you put the two names together to make a ship name. It's like an Internet thing" she explained as he got more and more bewildered, "never mind. Nice to see you're still from the dark ages. And yeah I know he still cares - somehow"

"Do you? Care about him?" Derek wondered.

"I..." He paused, catching herself before she could lapse into some sappy explanation that she would no doubt regret later on, "why the sudden interest in what Stiles and I might have?"

"Because he's the only one that can save you" he answered seriously, "so do you care for him?"

She didn't want to answer, knowing it would just highlight her weakspot.

"I guess" she replied.

He gave her a fleeting smile before regaining his composure, "we'll figure out what's going on with Stiles"

"Good" she replied, already starting to backtrack at the uncomfortable situation, "uh... Catch you later" she excused herself, striding from the locker room and shaking her head at the sudden rush of warmth and affection surging through her veins. Dammit Kayla.

She shook herself again, continuing down the corridor and was just about to enter coach's class but almost walked directly into Isaac who just glared at her.

"My bad, that was my fault _yet again"_ she mumbled sarcastically, extending her arm out for him, "on you go, immature brats first"

His glare was intense and full of rage but he just smirked, shrugging a shoulder, "no, please, bitches first" rolling backwards on his heels making it clear he wasn't going to give up, both standing off against each other.

She narrowed her eyes, well aware of the curious gazes from inside the classroom watching them, no doubt wondering why on earth Kayla Hale and Isaac Lahey, best friends, were on bad terms... Oh, if only they knew.

"You're right, I am a bitch. I'm the baddest bitch in town so thanks for the compliment, wish I could return the favour" a coy smirk tugged at her lips, giving him an unflattering once over, "Mr sits-there-and-lets-the-girl-do-all-the-hard-work" a few people at the front that overheard let out muffled chuckles. "I'm surprised you even found the right hole"

He flushed red, his lips thinning as he glared at the front row and they wisely shut up before glancing back down at her, stepping forward into her personal space as if to intimidate her but she just tilted her chin up, not letting the sly smile drop from her lips.

"I thought I told you to stay away from me?!"

"You're the one that's practically grinding on _me_ " she rolled her eyes, feeling his body heat humming against her, his firm body just millimetres away from her own.

His breathing increased, sharp exhales of warm air shooting from his nostrils and tickling her forehead as his eyes momentarily flashed blue in warning.

"I mean it Kayla, back off"

"If only you said that all those nights ago-but wait, _of course_ you wouldn't have done because you came onto me, _whoops_ , my mistake"

He was about to retaliate but coach's shouting made him look up, his mouth wisely snapping shut.

"HALE! LAHEY! Break it up and sit your asses down before I throw Greenburg at you"

He threw her one more dirty look before hiking up his backpack around his shoulder and striding in, ignoring the sniggers that followed him and for a moment she kinda felt bad - calling him out like that but what did he expect? She accepted she was in the wrong too, that yes she could've said no but never. She knew all that but Isaac hated her because of his own guilt. He never said no, in fact he was more than up for it - no pun intended.

She just sighed in frustration, following him in and took her seat next to Stiles who just cocked a brow, "Kaylz, you've seriously got to stop winding him up"

"And he's _seriously_ got to stop having a male superiority complex just because it's easier to blame the slut he had sex with" she answered loudly, "and yes I just called myself a slut, not because I agree with that but because that's what he thinks I am" she finished her rant and then screwed her eyes shut, realising her whole rant was a big mistake - especially towards Stiles, "shit, sorry. I'm running my mouth again"

He sighed deeply, sagging back in his seat, "whatever Kaylz"

"I legit _just_ said I was sorry!"

"Yeah but do you mean it?" He retaliated, not sounding mad per se, more annoyed and exasperated, "because I'm not sure you do"

She opened her mouth to reply, fight her corner but he made her backtrack - was she just spewing words for the hell of it? Or did she actually mean the words she said? She didn't know. A part of her hoped she did, but another part of her was aching to stop having so many weak spots. She liked being heartless. She enjoyed it. Maybe too much. But Stiles always brought her back down to earth with a bang, just like he did now.

"I'm... I'm sorry" she said quietly, her voice a lot softer, "I'll back off from Isaac alright? Stiles... I am trying. Sometimes - okay, most of the time I make a mess of it, I admit that. But I've kept my promise to you haven't I? I haven't hooked up with anyone else"

He glanced at her sadly, "it's not just the sex aspect. It's everything. I know you're trying, and I'm so thankful for that, I am, but..." He lowered his voice, slumping sideways a little so he could whisper to her, "but you're still so... Cold"

"Yeah... I guess I am" ready to admit that, knowing herself better than anyone and recognising what she said, did and felt wasn't the actions of someone with heart, it was the complete opposite. She was still an unfeeling monster. No wonder Isaac hated her. She hated her too.

He was still looking at her with those big brown doe eyes, his gaze tracing over her features before he finally smiled lightly, "never mind. Don't let my words stop your progress alright Kaylz?"

She just pursed her lips, glancing up front as Coach began ranting, slapping their test papers on their desks that they did last week and when he got to hers he practically shoved it in her face, "HALE - you were gone for two months, how the hell did you get an A?!"

"I'm a smart cookie" she smiled sarcastically, grabbing the paper and grinning up at him, "hopefully your future offspring get their brains off their cousin"

Coach frowned, looking around a bamboozled class before screwing his face up, "what an earth are you talking about? Did that cult you join mess with your head?"

"That pot you jizzed in that you somehow thought wouldn't be put to use - god knows how you messed that up, what else could they be wanting your sperm for? - was used to impregnate my aunt" she said bluntly, "I guess a welcome to the family is in order huh?"

Coach's eyes widened, his brain backtracking to that phone conversation he had all those days ago with the clinic, letting him know that the 'artificial insemination' had gone really well and although they were not allowed to disclose details, they wondered if he could donate another batch and he had lost it because what the holy hell? He didn't want his sperm donated, he thought it was for a _research project_!

Kayla watched him pale, the entire class silent and amused as coach suddenly careened sideways and fainted in a heap on the floor.

"What?" She asked, frowning as Stiles gaped at her, "was that too forward?"

* * *

She didn't know what compelled her to show up here of all places. Watching a game of lacrosse wasn't exactly what she wanted to do with her evening but Stiles had given her a quick update over text that the assassins may well show up and try and kill them on the field so she ended up here. Maybe if Stiles wasn't on the list then she wouldn't but he was so she felt like she needed to keep an eye on him. Just in case.

She pulled her short tan leather jacket around herself, her bare legs a little cold as she was only wearing some black demon shorts and walked carefully along the bleachers, her eyes searching for the familiar '24' shirt but before she could pick him out of the crowd a bunch of lacrosse players pushed out in front of her and she let out an aggravated sigh, cocking a brow in irritation.

"Whoa, sorry there... Uh..." There was only about four of them, each cutting off their laughing as they caught sight of her, all complete strangers to her meaning they were very obviously from the other team, "um... Wow, hi"

"Not interested" she said flatly, ignoring the guy at the front and fair enough he was hot... Like, _really_ hot, but she found herself not really caring all that much, "like, at all. And my eyes are up here"

The hot guy shook his head, catching himself from his staring and smirking at her, "so... What's your name?"

"It's fuck you" she said blandly, "now move" she pushed past through the middle of the small group, huffing as she felt their gazes on her, "and yes I know I have a great ass. Unfortunately all you're going to see of it is me walking away from your idiotic desperate selves" finally breaking through their rock hard solid bodies and not even throwing them another look before striding over to the benches, catching sight of Isaac already on the field warming up and stuck her head between Stiles and Scott, making both boys jump.

"Don't die out there. I don't fancy having to save your asses. I was supposed to be having a chilled night tonight - some Macdonalds, a bowl of popcorn and my vibrator not freezing to death as people stare at my ass" she warned, looking past Scott's head to see Kira nervously chewing on her bottom lip, "and careful with that stick" she smirked teasingly, "don't want it to end up through someone's chest now, do we?"

Kira's eyes widened at her blunt statement, guilt filling up her stare and Scott sent her a warning look.

"What? I was joking, jeez, lighten up" she defended herself, squeezing in between the two best friends and perching on the hard bench, "wow, it's cold" rubbing the palms of her hands together before sticking them between her thighs, shivering a little.

"You could always dress appropriately for the weather...?" Scott suggested, "just a thought"

"No" she said bluntly, "I like my shorts and my shorts like me back thank you very much"

"Anyway-" Stiles coughed before the disagreement could get heated, "-keep an eye on Garrett okay Kaylz? We think he's one of the Assassins"

"Who? Him?" Nodding to the blonde kid on the field and Stiles "hmmm'd" in confirmation, "okay, I'll go kill him" but before she could stand up fully Stiles grabbed her hand and pulled her back down, her ass colliding painfully off the wooden bench and she shot him a glare.

"What was _that_ for?"

"You can't just waltz out on the field and kill him in front of hundreds of spectators!"

"You can't kill _anyone_ " Scott correctly in a hushed tone, shooting Stiles a pointed stare who just rolled his eyes, "we've got a plan"

"Your plans suck" Kayla stated, "it's a wonder you're all not dead yet"

"Just... Stay here" Scott tried for a small smile, nodding to the bench, "and if you see anything then let us know, alright?"

"I'm not your guard dog" she sighed but ended up just shrugging, "fine, whatever. I won't kill him yet. Happy?"

Scott nodded, sending Kira a reassuring look before grabbing her hand and both running out on the field as coach shouted but Stiles hovered back, reaching for her hand and linking their fingers, "thanks for coming"

"It's... Alright" she settled on saying, briefly squeezing his hand before pulling it away, not wanting to get used to the comforting warmth, "just don't die out there or I'll kill you myself"

He smirked, "I'll try my best" looking like he was leaning in for a quick kiss but coach's loud yell and blow on his whistle sent Stiles skittering backwards, his eyes widening in shock and fear.

"STILINSKI. ASS ON THE FIELD NOW" letting out another long blow on the whistle but coach, bless him, caught sight of Kayla and ended up choking, flushing a deep red and looking about ready to keel over again.

Guess he hadn't come to grips with her little slip earlier in class.

"He's been acting weird all day" Stiles mused, shaking his head in exasperation before glancing sideways at her, "so coach is really the mysterious sperm donar huh? That's... Strangely terrifying"

"Couldn't have put it better myself" Kayla chuckled, "coach playing daddy? I can't see it but hey, he might be full of surprises"

"Oh _god_... Imagine if Jane and coach marry? Oh holy god, he would be your uncle. Uncle coach... _Oh my god_ , that's a scary image"

"Uncle through marriage" she corrected, smirking as she did so, "that makes all the difference"

He smiled at her, sending her a wink and didn't try and kiss her this time as he flailed to his feet, nearly tripping over nothing but air and she snorted in amusement as he straightened himself out, shoving his helmet on and made a much more graceful run this time, heading over to Scott and Kira.

And she knew she said she would stay seated but she was freezing and the bench was hard and as cold as ice, plus she was a fidgeter, she didn't like staying in one spot unless she was absorbed in something crucial - like sex or breaking bad. So she pushed herself to her feet, pacing the side of the grass, back and forth she went as seconds turned into minutes and nothing remotely interesting happened. No killings. No drama. No nothing. Just a plain old simple lacrosse game.

She plonked back down on the bench in boredom, leaning forward and placing her elbows on her knees when she felt the weight of someone lowering themselves on the bench next to her and glanced to the side, immediately stiffening when she saw Natália smirk at her.

"And what are _you_ doing here?"

"No need to sound so disgusted, cousin"

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously, "what do you want?"

Natália's dark hair was gently curled, lips painted dark red as they pulled back into a devious smile, "I heard there was a dead pool. Is this true?"

"Maybe" Kayla smirked, "why? Scared you're on it?"

Her cousin glared at her, not amused with her snark, "not at all, we don't fear such pathetic attempts. Whoever is funding this 'dead pool' is a coward. And I know how to deal with cowards"

"Good for you" Kayla rolled her eyes, "now you got your answer, so leave"

But Natália didn't move, she just crossed her legs, getting comfortable and Kayla shot her a glare, "I said _leave_ "

"Your former friends are on the list too. Is that why you're here? Protecting them?"

"None of your business"

"Oh but it is" she grinned, her forehead lowering, gazing at Kayla through her thick eyelashes, "I don't like that you're turning soft. That is not what we brought you back for"

"I am _not_ turning _soft_ " Kayla claimed, but no sooner had she said that did she hear a commotion on the field and quickly glanced up, not even knowing what was going on and preparing to stand but Natália grabbed her wrist tightly, nails digging into her skin and she winced, whipping around to shoot her a glare but she yanked her back down, her shoulder jolting painfully in the socket.

"Stay seated" Natália glowered, holding her in place, "they are _none_ of your concern"

"Don't you tell me what to do _bitch"_ she spat, jerking away from her grip but before she could rush forward she felt something dig into her back, something sharp.

A knife.

"You've been stabbed before - impaled rather" she snarled next to her ear, "don't make me gut you like a fish again, cousin"

"You don't scare me" Kayla shrugged, "you're weak, pathetic, _scared_ " she reeled off, "you want me in your little clique not out of want, but necessity because you know I can rip you all apart if I wanted. And I will. I'm more powerful than _any_ of you"

Natália did not look pleased, her bottom lip curling as she trailed the edge of the knife down below the hem of her jacket and tank top, pushing the knife upwards and making a nick against her bare spine and causing it to well with blood, "hush, little girl. I'm the one with a blade against your spinal cord. Have some manners"

"No, how about you go fuck yourself" she raged, " _coward_ "

She dug the knife in further, puncturing the skin and Kayla just winced silently but continued holding Natália's stare. She had been through worse than this. Pain was nothing. Natália frowned at her unwavering expression, glancing down to see the blood trailing down her back and glanced back at her, slightly unnerved.

"You have a strong tolerance for pain, cousin"

"You forget what I've been through" Kayla said through gritted teeth, "you're an amateur - _cousin_ " she mocked, a smirk tugging at her lips as she took Natália's brief lapse of concentration to jolt forward, arm twisting around to grab the knife and, in amongst the commotion, no one noticed her slamming her knife downwards into Natália's thigh and twisting just for a little extra bit of pleasure on her part.

"I'll say this one more time... _Back off._ I don't want nor need your input. Yes you brought me back. That's _whatever_. I never _asked_ for this. I never asked to be this person. Maybe I didn't want to come back and feel wrong, _unnatural_ , but you did it anyway and you want me to _thank_ you? To _owe_ you something? Hell no, I owe _none_ of you jack shit for this" she snarled quietly, her hand tight around the hot of the blade as Natália tried to slap her hands away, "because of you I'm like this. At least when I was stuck in hell I could hurt no one but myself. I could stew in my own bitterness and rage without consequences but you and your screwed up family just _had_ to raise the dead who aren't supposed to come back. You gave me my meat suit back so I could cause all this chaos. You're despicable and I hate you. _All_ of you. So stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours otherwise this-" she nodded down to the blade, "-will end up in your face, got it?"

Natália finally managed to jerk Kayla away, ripping the knife from her Jean glad thigh and slapping a hand over it to stop the blood, her dark eyes full of fire.

"You're going to pay for this"

"I would love to see you try" she snarled, her back continuing to throb in pain, "but without your back up you're useless"

"I know how to hurt you Kayla, don't forget that"

"Oh _really_ , and how's that?"

Natália nodded onto the pitch where Stiles and Scott were hovering around Liam, one of the kids from the opposing team, Brett or something, breaking away from the crowd, and Kayla felt her skin pale.

"You care. Deny it all you want, or maybe you don't understand. Maybe you've forgotten what it was like to be human but I can see it written all over your face. You might not know yourself, but you care for them. You care for _him_ "

Kayla stood up in anger, glowering down at the dark haired beauty, "I've already told you not to lay a single _finger_ on him. Don't be stupid and forget my warnings"

Natália just pushed herself up, limping a little on her bleeding leg and stood so close to her she could see the faint, almost unnoticeable, small freckles dusting along the bridge of her nose and cheeks, "you've disrespected us. Gone against our wishes. That _human_ or yours will pay the price for your mistakes. Sooner or later"

"Don't you _dare_ -"

"Aw, why?" Natália mocked her, "do you love him?"

"I..." She didn't know, not sure what or why she was fiercely protective of Stiles lately. All she knew was she wasn't about to let him get hurt, not because of her.

"You're delusional" her cousin snapped, " _of course_ you love him with what little heart you have. It's disgusting. You _repulse_ me"

Kayla just clenched her fists tightly, eyes flashing a deep green in fury.

"Maybe it's a match made in heaven" Natália scoffed, "there's rumours you know? Rumours about the boy who was once possessed by the ancient Japanese spirit. Rumours about him being damaged. _Poisoned_. The nogitsune leaving its mark on him. A secondary supernatural essence living within him. How _unnatural"_

Kayla gulped, "what do you know about Stiles?"

"Aw sweetie-" Natália cocked her head to the side, "-my lips are sealed. I guess you'll just have to figure that out yourself - put that dead brain of yours to use"

She was furious. Full of rage. Every inch of her shaking with unrelenting aggression as her clenched fist swiped out and decked her across the nose, her cousin not having enough time to defend herself as she fell to the damp grass, catching a few people's attention.

"Threaten him again and I will rip you apart" she stated, pushing some loose hair away from her face, "I will _destroy_ you"

Natália pushed herself back up to her feet, her wound now no longer bleeding but she still had a very obvious limp, her dark gaze burning with hatred, "I'll see you very soon cousin. Watch your back"

She didn't even spare her another glance as she left, whipping around to try and catch sight of Stiles and blew out a sigh of relief, catching his stare and nodding him over and maybe her expression was panicked or full of some emotion she didn't understand but he shouted something to coach before jogging over to her as she moved to wait behind the bleachers, eyes quickly absorbing the sight of his body - no injuries, no blood, no bruises. He was fine.

"Kaylz, you okay? Did you see what happened out there? It was definitely Garrett-" but she didn't give him time to finish his sentence before pulling him forward by a fistful of his shirt, pushing him Sideways so his back collided into the steel bleachers and moving forward to pin him there, slinking up to attack his lips with hers and although he was surprised he soon sunk into the kiss, grabbing her hips and pulling her lower body against his, body humming at the feel of her tongue brushing against his own.

She didn't know why she was acting like this, why she felt so damn _relieved_ to have him in sight but what Natália said put her on edge. She didn't want her to punish Stiles for her mistakes, he didn't deserve that. Not him.

She was getting breathless, lips surely bruising by this point but she didn't want to stop, breathing in his smell, hands gliding over his shoulders and tugging on his hair in desperation before finally breaking the kiss, gasping back some much needed air and meeting his awed and speechless stare, her own gaze full of realisation - _shit_ , she just did that.

"Sorry" she mumbled breathlessly, "I just... I got worried about you for a second there..."

He licked his lips, hands not leaving her hips, "uh... You don't ever have to be sorry for that"

The way he was looking at her, so lovingly, so full of attachment made her step back, pushing back these feelings stirring within her and wiped at her mouth, her lips swollen and red from the intensity of the kiss.

Stiles sensed her reluctance at admitting what she truly felt, letting his hands drop but glanced down as he saw the tips of his fingers coated in blood and straightened in horror, looking over at her in worry, "Kaylz are you _bleeding?"_

She frowned but then winced as she remembered the minor puncture wound on her back, "oh"

"Oh?" Stiles repeated hurriedly, "is that a yes? Why are you bleeding? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine" she reassured, holding up her hand to stop him moving forward, "I heal. And it's nothing anyway. Stiles I..." She never normally was lost for words, especially since coming back, but found her throat closing, "remember what Kayleigh said, about you being on the list? And then I told you how the nogitsune basically said you would never escape him, like he marked you?"

He was still frowning at her in worry but his eyes went wide, a silent nod confirming his understanding.

"It's true" she said bluntly, not exactly letting him down easily as she wasn't exactly sure how to sugarcoat it, "I thought it wasn't. But it is. The nogitsune might be gone but he still has some kind of hold over you, and until we figure out how to fix that... You might be in danger. And I need to... I need to keep you safe" she admitted, her voice quietening slightly, not ready for her vulnerableness to be broadcasted so easily, "will you let me do that?"

He looked shell shocked, his eyes glazed over and filled with worry and insecurities, suddenly looking terrified, like all the memories of what he did came when he was possessed came crashing down around him.

But what she didn't expect was his answer. "No". Simple and straightforward, no hesitation in sight.

"What?" She was sure she heard him wrong, cocking a brow, "what do you mean _no?"_

"Last time this happened I... I killed people. You died. If I'm going dark side again then you need to stay away from me"

"Stiles, I said you were _in_ danger, _not_ a danger to other people" she exclaimed, grabbing his cheeks and forcing him to meet her stare, "hey, look at me. You're _not_ dangerous. Just think of it like a virus. You're sick" she explained, "the nogitsune is gone, I promise you"

"But what if he's not?" He asked brokenly, tears glazing his vision, "what if he's not totally gone?"

"He is" she insisted, "and whatever mark, whatever kind of dark essence is running through your veins is just some leftover nogitsune mojo that we'll fix. You're not dangerous"

But he avoided her stare, looking sick to the stomach, "I can't go through this again Kaylz, I can't, not again..."

"I know" she whispered, voice surprisingly soft, "I know Stiles" surprising both him and even herself as she pulled him forward into a hug, letting him bury his face into the crook of her neck, "but you'll be fine, I'll make sure of that. I promise you"

* * *

Natália stormed back into the apartment she shared with her cousins, still limping as the painful burning seized ahold of her thigh and found both Juan and Andrés seated at the dining room table, looking up curiously at her entrance.

"We should have _never_ brought her back. She's a disgrace to our kind. Caring for a human? How _disgusting_. She needs to pay. She needs to pay _now_ " her furious dark stare meeting Juan's, "give it to me. I think it's time we reverse this reserrection and watch her turn back into the bug infested skeleton she once was"

 **A|N) LMAO Kayla just really doesn't understand emotions at all does she like girlllll you're feeling, understand that haha and awwwww tried to include a bit of everything ha hope you all enjoyed and please please please review they mean the world, see ya all soon lovelies xxx**

 **also published a sad one shot about stiles grieving for Kayla, and got a poll up as well hehe.**

 **also my tumblr is fanficanatic-tw you can stop by and check out edits and suck and ask questions, whatever floats your boat haha xxx**


	24. Chapter 24 - Party on

**Disclaimer: Teen Wolf does not belong to me in any way shape or form – lol sorry guys, I'm still ill with the flu and losing motivation so this is probably shit but I can't bloody well move my neck which means I can't lie down, hence having to do something sitting up so logically that led to writing haha. HOPE YOU ALL LIKE and thanks to the reviews/follows/favs I love you all, hope you enjoy xxx**

"Kayla, a little help here would be nice" Stiles gasped, sweating heavily and actively trying to dodge Brett's flailing limbs, him and Derek proving to be too weak to hold the werewolf kid down.

"Oh I would but I just paid eighty dollars to get my nails done so…" she shrugged, flashing them her freshly painted decorative nails and despite the adrenaline fuelled and obviously very serious situation they were in, Derek and Stiles somehow both managed to send her exasperated looks as Deaton got whacked across the cheek, nearly dropping the scalpel.

"If you can't hold him still then the incision will _kill_ him!" Deaton warned, "concentrate"

" _Kayla"_

"Sheez, okay, someone's getting touchy" she threw her hands up at Derek's tone, rolling her eyes as she pushed herself off from her relaxed stance against the counter and sauntered over to his side of the table, pushing him away with one hand which caused him to stumble and she barely had time to send him a suspicious glance because Derek, weak? In what world did _that_ ever happen? But thought no more about it as she – yes, okay, she could admit this – _very_ overdramatically made a deliberate scene about placing her hands on Brett's convulsing body just to annoy them but it seemed to do the trick because she had her side pinned down, it was just Stiles' side that was still flapping about like a fish out of water.

"C'mon loverboy, you can do better than that" she whispered, loud enough for his ears only as she shot him a smirk across the table, "as I recall, you used to pin me down _very_ well"

He flushed, shooting her a look as if to say 'please not here Kaylz', ducking as Brett jerked so violently Stiles ended up skidding around on the floor and just as she was about to take pity on him, maybe hop on up and straddle the guy to keep him still, Peter suddenly appeared, brushing Stiles out the way and holding down his side.

"Guess I have the werewolf strength you were needing" Peter smirked and Kayla just rolled her eyes, wanting to rub it in his face that she could easily do his job without even breaking a sweat but Deaton was hovering between them, glancing down at Brett's bare body with a worried and inquisitive look on his features.

"Uh Doc… is he breathing?" Stiles asked, sliding up next to her, "cos I don't think he's breathing"

Deaton never answered, just continued to slice down his chest until whatever rare wolfsbane practically evaporated from his system, his spasming limbs calming down until he was still and relaxed, both her and Peter letting go at the same time, the former shooting her father a dirty look at the mirrored action.

"He'll be fine now" Deaton murmured, pulling back and wiping at his brow, "he should suffer no after effects from the poison"

"Brilliant, great work guys, _really_ , group hug" she murmured sarcastically, her voice falsely cheery as she cheered, her arms doing a little victory dance, "but I still don't understand why all that effort for some dude, who is so _clearly_ not an average sized dude, and no – I wasn't just talking about his height – who we don't even know"

"That's a good point actually" Peter pointed out.

"Dear old murderous father of mine agrees, see?" she waved her arm out at him, "I'm not being completely oblivious"

Stiles just frowned, "Kaylz, we've had this talk before, remember?" he stated calmly, "morals… right thing to do… ringing any bells?"

"No" she mumbled, softly shaking her head, "though that may be because when you lecture me I always think of you as some hot professor and get distracted" she explained bluntly, ignoring the way his cheeks flushed bright red, "and I would apologise but the image of you wearing glasses really _does_ things to me"

He opened his mouth to retaliate but soon snapped it shut in surprise, sending her a look of complete exasperation before sighing loudly and waving away what she just said, ignoring Peter's ever present glare and nodded towards Brett, turning all their attentions back to the sick boy.

"Guys is he saying something? It sounds like he's saying…"

"The sun, the moon, the truth"

"Three things cannot long be hidden. The sun, the moon, and the truth. It's Buddhist"

"Satomi"

"Oooooh" Kayla drawled out, "that chic werewolf that went cray-cray back when the nogitsune was rife? Wow. And the plot thickens" she mumbled in a creepy voice before smiling, "does this mean we can kill her?"

"Kaylz… no"

"Aw" she pouted, "but I've been good, don't I deserve a treat?"

Stiles ran a hand through his gel-free hair, the thick locks flat and unruly and creating a sort of fringe which made him look super-frigging cute just F.Y.I, " _chocolate_ is a treat, taking a trip to the movies is a treat, murdering someone in cold blood _isn't_ a treat nor in _any_ situation would that be considered a treat"

"Kill-joy" she pouted, crossing her arms but saying no more about it as they all finally relaxed a little.

"So Lydia cracked another third of the deadpool" Stiles explained, "Meredith helped her, Malia too, I also have no idea how that happened cos' last I heard Malia was gunning for us all but I guess we should thank god for small miracles – at any rate, there's even more names on the list than the last one and uh… um… another name… uh…"

She knew what he was trying to say – 'my name's on there too' – but he couldn't get the words out just yet, either too shameful or too fearful, she didn't quite know, so she covered for him. God knows why, she just did. See? When she was around him she did stupid shit exactly like this. The very same stupid shit she hated doing.

"Yeah, my name right?" she jumped in, sending him a deliberate look which he soon caught onto after a surprised widening of his eyes, nodding jumpily.

"Uh… yeah actually" he nodded, letting her know that although she lied to cover his ass, she still hit the nail on the head – her name was, finally, on the list, "just like Kayleigh said. $23 million dollars"

"You know, if I could pull off returning from the grave again I would totally kill myself for dosh like that" she admitted, "just sayin'" she added as all she got back were looks of distaste and confusion, "wow. I forgot how much _fun_ you guys were. I missed it" she mumbled sarcastically, tilting her head to the side and smiling with an equal amount of attitude.

"She's, uh, she's working on the other third of the list" Stiles explained, "first key word was Allison, second was Aiden…"

"Aiden?" Derek jumped in with, "why him?"

"He died" Stiles explained simply, "just like Allison did. Clearly the names of our lost friends is some kind of sick trigger"

"Huh" she pursed her lips, "wasn't aware Aiden was your friend"

"He… wasn't. Not really. Maybe. I don't know" Stiles shrugged, "point is Lydia thought your name would be the final key. It wasn't"

"Well obviously" she duh'd, "they're still maggot food, I'm not" and she said it so bluntly that practically everyone in the room winced and ah – right… this is where her lack of empathy didn't win her any points, "anyways, this has been fun but I must dash. That cute sorority girl I hooked up with is holding another party tonight and she gave me an open invite to go around whenever I want… and no, I'm not going to have sex with her… again" she added, "even though she clearly wants me to. Whatever. I don't have to explain myself. I'm out of here. Chow" she saluted them all, pretending to tip an invisible hat towards an unconscious Brett before swaying gracefully from the clinic, half expecting Stiles' clumsy feet to follow her and was proven right as she heard him skid over the gravel behind her, puffing a little for breath.

"Kaylz, wait… can't we-can't we talk about what happened back there?"

She turned around, cocking a brow, "what? That thing with Brett? It's fine, don't get your knickers in a twist, the kid is still breathing"

"No, not him" Stiles screwed his face up and for someone banging on a lot about caring and sympathising and all that crap, he didn't seem all that concerned with the injured teenager, "the thing that happened during the lacrosse game? You know… that bombshell you just kinda dropped on me?"

"Oh right, yeah" she nodded, "about the whole nogitsune thing. Well… I wouldn't worry about it" she advised with a shrug, "it's probably just some left over nogitsune-juice, most likely harmless"

"Probably?" he squeaked, "most likely? Kayla, what if it's _not?"_

"It is, I'm sure of it" she reassured though her tone was flat, lacking any real kind of feeling or attachment and Stiles just kinda deflated at that, hating how she didn't seem committed or passionate about much of _anything_ these days. It was only briefly, at times, her voice held any real warmth or emotion, little breakthroughs like light rays through a darkened sky but apparently that time was not now.

So he just settled for a nod, gently trying to remind her of the softness she once held as he gazed directly at her, keeping his voice quiet and hesitant, "earlier… back at the game… you-you were comforting me"

"Yeah?" she cocked a brow in confusion, "was I not supposed to or something?"

Okay she had _completely_ missed the point here. Yet again.

"No, no, I just… it was nice" he supplied with, shoving his hands in his shorts pockets and dropping his stare awkwardly, "or did you just do it because you felt you had to?"

She sighed heavily, getting a little antsy at the questioning, "no, I did it because I wanted to and seeing you upset was… not enjoyable" she settled on saying, "does that answer your question?"

"Depends - are you telling the truth?"

Her lips quirked at his thoroughness, finding it kinda adorable how he kept checking in, his impatience at her still lack of emotions showing so she just changed the subject, cocking her head to the side curiously, "come to the party with me?" she requested, shocking him slightly because he jolted his head forward as if he misheard her, his brows furrowing.

"What?" totally dumbfounded.

"Be my date to the party" she repeated, smirking at his gobsmacked expression, "let loose for a little Stiles, you're all tense and stressy – that's how people get premature wrinkles y'know"

"You want me to go to party with you when all this crap is going on?"

"Just an offer" she threw her hands up, shrugging a single shoulder and unable to drop the small smirk still playing on her lips, "I'm not forcing you into anything"

"I…" he paused, his posture relaxing a little, "I'm not a fan of parties" he said simply.

"Then don't come" she chuckled, "it was just an offer Stiles"

He frowned, glancing down at his gym attire, just a pair of long baggy shorts which were perfect for showing off his lanky legs and a black tee, a little tight across his chest which she found her eyes drawn to more than once, "uh… plus I'm not exactly dressed for the occasion"

"That's fine" she chuckled, "you can say no without making up a bunch of excuses, it's chill" she laughed again, rolling her eyes fondly at him as she turned to walk away but he shouted her back, trying not to sag over in disappointed – those 'excuses' were only said to see if he could subtly convince her to change her plans, maybe offer to stay in with him but that backfired _spectacularly_.

"O-Okay, I'll come" he offered and she smiled brightly, obviously pleased that he changed his mind, "just uh… I need to swing home for a change of clothes first" he smirked, nodding down to his gym attire, "and maybe shower. I'm all sweaty"

"Fine by me" she eyed him up, stare trailing up his body before finally settling on his expression, a sly smirk gracing her lips, "just uh… keep the hair like that"

He touched his mop of floppy, gel-free hair subconsciously, further flattening the locks so the ends tickled his forehead, "uh… why?"

She shrugged indifferently, "dunno, it's just hot. Meet me at my hotel in an hour?"

He gulped at her show of affection, nodding jittery, "uh…. Yeah, yah, s-sure thing" his heart pumping wildly against his ribcage as she threw him a wink over her shoulder and knew he was screwed. Just straight up _screwed._

* * *

" _Okay_ so I know this isn't really party-appropriate or shit but I panicked and then my social anxiety started playing up and it felt like I was having an existencial crisis because I couldn't decide between the beige slacks or the red ones so I went with red which hopefully won't be a sign that things are gonna go bad-like _blood shed_ kinda bad, and I feel like I need another shower again which obviously isn't a great start-"

He was rambling even before she opened her door, not even looking down at her until she tugged him forward by his button up white shirt and crashed her lips to his, cutting off his rather long winded speech in the most pleasurable, head spinning way possible.

"Uh…" he mumbled, blinking hard as she pulled back with a smirk, "th-that's um… okay, I've shut up now" he managed to get out, watching as her smirk continued to pull into a sly grin, dropping back to the flats of her feet, "and holy god- _wow"_ the breath got knocked from him, gazing down at her outfit choice, "damn Kaylz, you trying to give me a coronary?"

"A coronary wasn't the bodily function I was aiming for you to have but…" she shrugged, that lusty playful look returning to her eyes as he gulped, glancing down at his slacks which had gotten a little tighter before looking back at her, a little flushed and wide-eyed, like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Yes Stiles" she laughed, "a boner was _exactly_ the bodily function I was talking about" her laughter like music to his ears, "happy it worked. But at any rate I'm glad you approve" doing a playful little twirl in front of him before shutting her door and taking his clammy hand, leading him towards the elevator and he had to shake his head, tearing his stare away from the tight little red skirt she was wearing, a simple white lace crop top clinging to her skin and showing off the skimpy little black bra underneath and despite the fact he was practically drooling, eyes unable to leave the strip of bare skin between the waistband of her skirt and the rather revealing crop top, he couldn't help but smirk as they had, unconsciously, just colour coordinated themselves. They were now one of those annoying couples that matched their clothes whether they knew it or not.

She dragged him into the elevator, him hovering slightly behind her as she punched in the ground level button, bumping into his shoulder as she stepped back but he just continued looking down, gazing down at her skin on show and let his hot breath tickle her shoulder, blowing some wispy straight bits of hair across her cheek.

"Yes Stiles?" he saw her matching red painted lips quirk into a smirk, tilting her head a little to meet his stare, "is there something I can help you with?"

He inched a little closer to her, his hips brushing against her ass and saw her expression change into one of appreciation, slyly pressing back that little bit harder against his hard on, "I'm sure there's something you could" he replied with softly, overcome with desire and want as he watched her bite her lip, "you know, uh… if we were doing that kind of stuff"

"Shame we're not" she mumbled, pouting her lips thoughtfully and trying not to grin as she twisted her hips a little, rubbing against his crotch and felt him exhale heavily against her skin, "I would've happily of pitched in a hand… or two" she added with a devilish smile, her implications perfectly clear, "maybe my mouth too"

He shuddered, trying to keep control of himself which was hard (no pun intended) considering he had, like, zero self control, especially when it came to her.

"Uh… wow, yeah, that's… that's a good image" he admitted, voice quiet and a little shy but full of intensity none the less, reaching out to slowly stroke her hips, fingertips brushing across her bare waist, "but uh… you know…"

"Stiles…" she whispered knowingly, smirking at his internal struggle, loving the feel of his hands on her, "if you want me then just take me. Whenever… wherever… _however_ … you… like…"

And if it wasn't for the obnoxious ding of the elevator reaching the ground floor then he may well just have – right there and everything. As soon as the doors slid open he blushed, immediately fumbling backwards and scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as they came face to face with a crowd of people waiting to enter, trying not to look too guilty of anything remotely sexual but Kayla just laughed, taking his hand again and guiding him out past the group and through the lobby, helping him through the doors as one seemed to have it in for him and tried to knock him out.

"Chill Stiles" she advised, climbing into the passenger side of his jeep and smirking at his still red cheeks, "you look like you just ate the world's hottest pepper – relax"

"Totally trying" he said lowly, rubbing his sweaty palms off on his slacks and trying to readjust them to make them more comfortable, blowing some air up onto his face to cool down as he started the engine.

"That offer still stands" she smirked, "and I mean it – just so you know"

"That's uh… that's good to know"

She chuckled to herself, sitting back comfortingly and rolling down the passenger side window, lighting a rolled-up cigarette before taking a drag, tilting her head towards the window to blow the smoke out the window and watch it disappear, funnelling towards the cold night air.

"You smoke now?" he asked, a hint of judgement in his voice that he tried to get rid of – he knew she was into all that crap before, back when she was with Aiden, but hadn't really seen her light one up since they had been together.

She shrugged, tilting the cigarette out the window so it wouldn't blow back into the jeep and probably cause him a coughing fit, "sure, I take the odd joint, sometimes a spliff, helps with the whole murderous yearnings"

He choked, "wait-that's weed?" he asked in alarm, eyes going wide as he tried not to careen off the road.

"Yeah" she nodded, taking another drag before holding it out for him innocently, "want some?", smoke billowing out around her and stinging his eyes.

"Uh… no thanks" he politely refused, shaking his head and she just shrugged, holding it between her two fingers, rolling it and watching it in something close to fascination before bringing it to her lips again, inhaling deeply and tilting her head back against the seat, parting her lips to try and make patterns with the smoke that filtered away, disappearing with the wind.

It made him a little uncomfortable – purely because he knew Kayla, well, old Kayla, did not mix well with drugs. Like at all. He couldn't image a heartless Kayla with a drug addiction, that combination would be lethal.

She must've sensed his worries because she peered over at him, a dopey smirk on her lips, "relax Stiles, I feel no need to take these. Just want" she explained, "plus joints are fine, they're like the least addictive drug out there"

He untensed a little, still not exactly liking it but she was her own person, she could smoke or take what she liked, he couldn't stop her.

"Just uh… as long as my dad doesn't smell it. He is the sheriff after all"

Her lips quirked, "why do you think I have the window down? See, _sometimes_ I am still a thoughtful person"

He chuckled, able to fully refocus back on the road and apart from the odd comment or Kayla giving him directions they were both quite quiet, relaxed and chilled in his jeep. Just like old times when they used to drive about at night, nothing but one another sat side by side and holding hands.

He parked haphazardly in the overcrowded gravel driveway, eyes widening at the absolutely _massive_ fricking house that belonged to the sorority a few towns over, there was even a marble water fountain outside just before the entrance. Stiles suddenly felt _very_ underdressed.

"H-Here?" he spluttered, "Jesus… there must be 100 bedrooms in there!"

"18" she corrected flawlessly and he just quirked a brow, "and I totally don't know that because I screwed someone in every one- _anyway-"_ she deliberately changed the subject, slipping out of the jeep and urging him to hurry up, "how drunk are you wanting to get?"

"Uh…" he gazed back at the jeep, "I'm driving"

She appeared confused, frowning at him like she thought he was acting a little out of sorts, "what? I asked if you're wanting to get tipsy or full out hammered? I'm the latter – obviously"

"Kaylz, I'm driving" he repeated, just bamboozling her high head even more, "I can't drink and drive. Dad's the sheriff, remember?"

"Oh. Right. Duh" it looked like it finally dawned on her, rolling her eyes at her own stupidity before swaying towards the door, not even appearing to feel the cold but _damn_ – she owned that outfit either way, unable to tear his gaze away as he quickened his pace to catch up with her, keeping in close as they brushed past drunk college kids tumbling out the door. Wow. Half past eight and already smashed. _Classy._

The entrance immediately opened out into an open lounge area, two staircases on each far side and joining at the top, drunk people hanging over the handle rails and tripping against one another as they ascended and descended down the stairs – to Stiles, it made much more sense to have one stair case for going up, one for down, that was logic right? But apparently drunk people do not follow logic and the place was in shambles. There was more people dancing near the extravagant fireplace (yeah, because that was _so_ safe), a few playing pool near the back of the room and the kitchen to the right through the double doors was crowded with people lining up to do shots and be sick in the sink (totally hygienic), and he was more than convinced someone was going to break their neck falling down the stairs, especially the girls tottering up them in those ridiculously high heels but maybe he was overthinking. Nah, of course he was overthinking. Here he was, as nervous as hell, at a party where he knew no one bar Kayla, his social anxiety going off the radar and stone cold sober. It wasn't a good combination. Urgh, stop thinking Stiles.

They had barely got two feet in the door when he heard a loud shout of Kayla's name and immediately glanced over, inching closer to Kayla protectively but all that squeezed through the crowd was a beautiful red-headed girl, a tight pink dress hugging her body and brown eyes dark and smouldering and before he could even ask how Kayla knew her, the redhead leaned down and pulled her into a quick 'welcome to the party' kind of kiss. Well he hoped it would be just like that. It lasted a little longer and that just answered his every question. Right. Sorority chic she had sex with. Of course _she_ had to be here – not that he was jealous or anything.

"Glad you could make it" red-headed whatever her stupid name was smirked, not even sparing Stiles a glance, all eyes for Kayla, "this party needed livening up"

"I'll do my best" Kayla promised with a wink, a sultry smile tugging at her lips as the redhead giggled and floated back into the crowd like nothing had ever happened, leaving Stiles there with a face like a mouldy sandwich.

"Past conquest" Kayla explained, smiling up at him, "and I think you'll find she totally initiated that kiss, not me"

"Yeah… clearly you left an impression"

She smirked, "I left an impression on a lot of people that night. Like him" she added, nodding sideways to some tall guy passing another guy a bag of small pills, "and her" pointing to the small brunette just beside him, "and him. And him. Oh and him, he was good. But then again so was that chic over there, had a totally submissive streak, it was nice" she commented offhandedly like she was discussing dinner menu options and he just cut her off before she could go any further, not wanting to hear about all the people in the room that had been between her legs.

"Okay, that's great, _fabulous_ , thanks for that little update" he murmured sarcastically, "now I know who to actively avoid, thank you very much. Just what my ears needed to hear at this exact moment of time. _Perfect_ " spotting a long table just to the side of them, pressed against the wall lined up with drinks of all sorts, "man I need a drink" totally changing his mind about going totally sober the rest of the night.

She laughed, leaning sideways and picking up a beer bottle, popping the lid and handing it to him with a smile, "drink up" she encouraged, sending him a wink before grabbing a red plastic cup and filling it ¾ full of straight vodka, not even adding some lemonade or coke, hell not even a slice of lemon touched that cup before she was downing it and suddenly Stiles felt very amateur with his measly weak little bottle of beer.

"Like I said-" she shook her head a little, face screwing up at the bitter taste, "-I need to get hammered and hammered _quickly_ – dance with me?"

"Uh…" he knew if he didn't there would just be someone else ready and waiting and didn't think he could face watching that, "I'm not that great at dancing, remember?"

"Nonsense" she laughed over the blare of the music, "you can grind those fine ass hips as good as anyone I know" she reassured, having not even finished the cup of vodka before she was back at the table, sloshing about the tequila as she tried to pour it straight into the plastic cup and it was nearly overflowing by the time she pulled away, slurping away ungracefully at the lip of the cup and he snorted, wishing he had a camera with him because although it should be ringing a hell of a lot of warning bells (like, wow, her poor liver) it was also a really adorable sight.

"Uh… sure, okay" knowing he needed to loosen up a little so boldly took her hand, interlocking their fingers and guided her in amongst the sweaty moving bodies slipping and sliding about on the wooden floor, finding a free space and pulled her against his chest, her free arm raised to the side to save her precious alcohol from spilling.

"You first" he leaned down to talk in her ear, making sure she heard despite the wild tunes blaring all around them, "you know I love it when you take the lead"

She smirked up at him, inching closer to roll her body against his, starting off slow and sly just to make sure she had his full attention – which of course she did, she was enthralling as hell – twisting from side to side and not dropping her sultry gaze, deliberately biting her lip gently just to mess with his head even more which it certainly did, his forehead speckled with beads of sweat as he watched, unable to tear his gaze away even if he wanted to.

Her back arched a little, her breasts digging into his chest and he had to catch his breath at the feeling, his stare falling for a few seconds to watch them pool out over the top of skimpy see through lace as she rubbed up against him, forcing himself to quit his total 'guy' staring and met her stare again, trying so hard to appear cool and calm when inside, well, inside it felt like he was dying in the most pleasurable way possible.

"Is this working for you?" she smirked, taking another few mouthfuls of the burning alcohol, those bright inquisitive eyes of hers tracing the curve of his mouth as he licked his lips, trying to find his voice.

Yeah it was working… maybe a little _too_ well if the bulge in his pants was anything to go by.

"To-totally" he stumbled over his words a little, hating the way his voice squeaked then cracked but she just found it cute, continuing to sway and mould her body against his and ever since he took her hand and led her out to dance she hadn't looked at anyone else – not one. Not even hot redhead sorority chic. It finally felt like she had only eyes for him and that was all he cared about.

She slowly twisted around, swivelling her hips back against his crotch but never broke eye contact, keeping her head inclined to the side to hold his stare, grinding back against him, "Stiles… put your hands on me" she requested, large doe eyes wide and innocent enough that he could just fall right into them, entranced by her words, "touch me"

He was a little hesitant, nerves seizing a hold of his body at her sultry request but raised his free hand, the one that wasn't holding the neck of the beer bottle, and glided it over her bare waist, feeling her shiver as he slowly traced patterns across her skin before toying with the edge of the lace crop top that ended just along where her diaphragm was, aching to move his hand underneath the practically non existent material.

She still didn't break their stare, breath hitching a little as she brought the red cup to her lips once more, rushing to down the liquid and threw the empty plastic away into the crowd just so she reach back and wrap her arm around his neck, supporting her as she slowly grinded back against his hips, the other hand encasing around his own.

"Do it" she whispered and despite the loud music he still heard her, her warm hand comforting around his own as he just gulped, wrapping his arm around her waist so the cool glistening bottle of beer seared the bare skin of her stomach with iciness, holding her body still in his arms so he could subtly twist his hips over the tight curve of her ass, a blissful sigh escaping his lips as his hardened bulge rubbed along it and the tip of his fingers that rested below her bust slowly creeped underneath her top, her hand gently guiding his until he was groping frantically at her right clothed breast, unable to get enough of her body once he started.

She groaned, moving a little faster against him to the beat of the music, somehow keeping to some kind of rhythm that was both graceful and sexy when he felt like he was just blindly grinding against her ass like some kind of dog on heat but he didn't care, loving it when she sighed and rested her head back against his shoulder, her eyes shutting in contentment.

He trusted that she wouldn't want to be more than an inch away from his body at this time, so dropped the arm that was around her waist, lifting the beer bottle to his lips and hurriedly finishing it, discarding the glass bottle somewhere – and by somewhere he meant he tried to throw it on the empty couch a few feet from them but it probably missed and smashed on the floor judging by the noise but he didn't care, gliding his hand back down to her thigh and pulling her skirt up a little until he felt the soft lace of her underwear.

"What colour?" he asked huskily, not even sure why he was acting so needy and sexual and straightforward about it, but just knowing he finally had her full attention at last.

She peeled her eyes open, twisting her head against his shoulder to peer up at him, "what?" she smirked, "my panties?"

He nodded, running the tip of his finger under the frilly rim that inched between her legs and she jolted at the bold manoeuvre, pressing her ass harder back against him just to hear him sigh needily.

"Can't remember" she lied with a smirk, pressing her chest into his other hand, the one that was still rolling the flesh of her breast around in his large palm, "guess you'll just have to see for yourself"

"Liar" he murmured in her ear, hand disappearing between her clenched thighs as he dragged his fingertips over the silky lace, feeling her shudder, "I want to know what colour they are"

"You have eyes – get down there and see for yourself"

And despite the crowded house filled with dancing bodies, all too drunk to care, fair enough, hell they were all probably too drunk to see let alone notice them both practically dry humping and eye fucking, then he might've just dropped to his knees right there in his crazy-lust induced need for her unless someone carrying a tray of shots knocked into them and brought Stiles back to earth with a bang.

"Uh…" he blinked, snapping himself from his want and urges as he dropped his hand from under her top, going back to respectively holding her hips and trying to pretend his painfully obvious boner wasn't pressing into her ass, "heh… maybe not in the middle of a crowded dancefloor"

She smirked, "oh well, your loss" she laughed, reaching forward for a couple of shots of some weird looking blue liquid of the moving tray, passing one behind her to him sloppily, "drink up" and downed it in one.

He cast the liquid a suspicious look, sniffed it and it smelt surprising fruity but also, damn, full of the strongest alcohol he had ever inhaled but threw his head back and downed it, coughing and spluttering as it burned his oesophagus.

"Oh _holy god_ -yuck" he cursed, shaking his head like a dog out of water, "that is fucking _bleh"_

She laughed, turning around in his arms so she was facing him, looking now slightly tipsy as she leaned up on her tiptoes to grab his cheeks and kiss him sloppily, a mixture of smoke and strong alcohol evident in her mouth.

"I'm gonna get more drinks" she winked, "stay here and dance, won't be long"

"Uh…"

He watched her go, stumbling a little back to the table and glanced around a little awkwardly at the crowd, well aware the music had now changed to something much faster – hell everyone was acting like they were at a rave so just bobbed his head, trying not to get jostled about too much as people came and went drunkenly and suddenly felt very out of place until Kayla returned, holding two red plastic cups in her hands.

"Trust me, you don't want to know the combination" nodding down to her mix of spirits in the cup, shouting over the crowd before beginning to bounce up and down, drink splashing out over her hand, "c'mon Stiles, _let's dance"_ she grinned, intertwining their fingers and raising their arms in the air, letting out an exhilarated scream before bopping and grinding to the techno music near deafening them all and he just let himself go – or maybe that was the alcohol doing that, either way he actually loosened up – yeah, shocker right?

Kayla kept doing alcohol returns every ten minutes or so, only bringing him something back every second or third time because he was at least pacing himself but she was getting hammered to the point where he knew she wouldn't be able to stand soon but, hey, she said she was wanting to and it was her choice. At least he would be only drunk enough to still look after her.

But as the night got later and the alcohol wasn't giving her the buzz she was looking for, she came back to Stiles with a small plastic little bag of pills, shaking one out and putting the rest between her cleavage for safe keeping.

"Uh…" Stiles watched this, his drunk brain taking a few seconds to catch up with him, "is that such a good idea?"

"For me? Yes, you? no" she laughed, wagging a finger in front of his face, "so don't drunkenly ask me for one. You and drugs won't be a pretty combination" before throwing it back in her mouth, swallowing it in one.

"I-I wasn't" he slurred, "going to ask. Baby, I don't think you should take those"

"It's fine" she reassured, eyes glazing over a little as she fisted his shirt, rolling her body against his, "relax, it's fine. It's just ecstasy" she smiled dopily, "so please put those godly hands back on me and grab my ass. You know how much I love it when you grab my ass"

He jumped as he felt her drop to her knees before rolling back up him, teasing him and leaving him aching for more, her playful smile the only thing he was able to focus on as he grabbed her by the ass, yanking her forward so she crashed into his firm chest and they both swayed and grinded to the music, getting once again lost in the feel of each other's hot, sweaty bodies.

Maybe it was the alcohol. Or maybe whatever concoctions of drugs she took. Or maybe his self-control was seriously more impaired than he thought because he found himself dragging her by the wrist up the spiralled staircase, dodging drunken college partiers passed out on the stairs as he held her close, well aware of her needy hands working on the button of his slacks as he finally found an empty room and pushed her into it, pinning her against the wall and breathing heavily next to her ear, his hands disappearing up her skirt.

"Fuck Kaylz… you're the only one that can do this to me" he murmured lowly, "make me so damn _needy"_ making a show of grabbing her ass tightly, making sure he left angry red marks indented in the soft flesh.

She shivered, back arching as she clung to his neck, "now Stiles… fuck me right now Stiles, _please"_

He growled, grabbing her thighs and pulling them to rest around his hips, pinning her back harshly against the wall as he smothered her neck in kisses, his inhibitions seriously lowering the drunker he got. He knew he shouldn't be initiating this but _god damn_ she was trying – he saw it, watched as her eyes searched for his and his only despite the crowds and hordes of people, that was an improvement. He had finally found more pieces of his Kayla, was it so bad that he wanted to be with her?

She gasped, keeping one hand digging into the back of his neck as the other yanked open his slacks, desperately pulling them down his hips in a frenzy so she could grind against his hardened dick pressing out of his briefs and he practically fell on the bed as he turned to walk them both over, tripping over his own pants as he collapsed on top of her.

But she didn't care, rushing to help him out of his slacks, pulling him down for another sloppy kiss as she reached under her skirt to tug away her underwear and smirked as she held them up for him to see.

"They're black. Not very interesting but they're off now so who cares"

He laughed, meeting her lips again as he nudged her legs apart, kneeling between them and hiking her skirt up around her hips, unable to help himself as he touched her bare core, rubbing it gently just to tease her.

"Stiles. Cock out. Now"

He laughed again at her impatience, his drunk fingers trying to unbutton his shirt but he could hardly see, the room at a funny angle and just when it was blatantly obvious he was getting no where, Kayla reached up and just ripped it open, buttons flying across the room before collapsing back down on the bed, breathing heavily, most of her senses completely ruined, hell she was on the brink of passing out but she wanted him – more than she wanted anything and she was determined to get it.

He shrugged it off, leaving him all sweaty and barechested as she let her drunken gaze trail down his body, her vision all blurry and screwed to fuck but from what little she saw, she knew she was in for a serious treat – all that working out had _definitely_ paid off.

He helped her remove the lacy top, both not doing very well and ending up rolling about in a tangle of drunken, uncoordinated limbs before finally throwing it away, Stiles staring down at her chest in awe.

"Fuck… I love you so much" he whispered, nuzzling into her breasts before kissing sloppily around the bra, "I love you"

She didn't know, maybe her drunk and drugged up self was clingy, but she almost said it back, god knows why, but she did and if it wasn't for his clothed cock rubbing against her then she might've. Except he distracted her. He distracted her a lot.

"Can't… wait…" she gasped, breaking a sweat as she pushed his grey briefs off his hips, aching to feel all of him despite how bone tired she was, her vision darkening like she was going to black out, "Stiles" she whimpered, "fuck me good"

He leaned back on one elbow, slipping his briefs down until they rested around his knees and stroked his bare cock a few times, guiding the tip of it through her soaking wet folds and felt her moan in contentment, spreading her legs out on the bed – an open invite.

"Jesus…" he groaned, watching as he rubbed her flushed clit with the tip, "you like that baby?"

"More" she breathlessly exclaimed and he was happy to oblige. Holding the base he kneeled back, drunkenly almost falling over but regained his balance, letting his cock slap back against her spread core as he teased her with it, rubbing against her folds and dipping into her gently, feeling her entire body arch.

"Sti- _les"_

She sounded needy, pissed off and kinda-okay _a lot_ out of it, her speech slurred and he chuckled, stroking himself a few more times until he was twitching, that thick vein running on the underside of his cock throbbing with need but before he could sink into her he glanced up, wanting to watch her face, see her expression as she got what she had finally been yearning for – him, inside her, fucking her relentlessly the way _no one_ else could but she was passed out on the bed, breathing slow and even.

"Uh… Kaylz?" he was slurring words himself, seeing two of her laying there, "Kaylz, you awake?"

A soft snore was all he got in response so he just sighed and collapsed to the side of her, pulling up his briefs and trying to ignore the sudden spinning of the room.

Oh well… his rational, drunk mind thought, maybe it was better this way – a quick drunken fumble wasn't what he was really wanting, he wanted to make love, slowly, tenderly, when they both had a clear head. Not in a rush of frantic limbs where the sex would only last two minutes and they would both pass out.

He fixed her skirt, pulling it down and throwing a blanket over her before curling up against her side, knowing she would need the warmth when she woke up hungover, hungry and probably sick.

"Sweet dreams Kaylz"

 **A/N) SHIT THAT'S LONG im still ill and its nearly 4am what am I doing I feel like shit and need bed but it was too addictive haha whoops total fav part was "Stiles. cock out. now" idk why OKAY I do know why bc kaylas sexual frustration makes me laugh haha, and also wee lesson in there, when a girl is passed out she cant continue to give consent so the sex should be stopped LEARN FROM PEOPLE STILES DO WHAT HE DID the kid is doing it right haha really hope you all liked so please please pretty please review I love you all need the validation lmao haha see you all soon xxx also, I know, I'm a tease leaving that really close stayla sex scene but REAL SOON peeps, real soon ha**


	25. Chapter 25 - I'm sorry

Disclaimer: teen wolf not mine. Thanks for the support, hope you like this next chapter

She felt so damn _rough_ and not in a good way either. Clearly she went a little overboard with the alcohol and drugs but, to be fair, she thought it was a good idea at the time. Just like how she thought _everything_ was a good idea at the time. She never really thought these things through, did she?

Groaning, she peeled her eyes open, room immediately spinning and although she was laying still she felt like she was sea sick, throwing an arm over her eyes to try and quell the splitting headache that was throbbing inside her skull. It didn't work, not one bit.

"If you want to puke, the bathroom's that way" her eyes flew open at the voice, immediately regretting it as pain spiked across her nose and under eyes, hell she was _that_ out of it she didn't even recognise the voice. Okay, definitely still hammered then.

"What?" She said, muffled, using all her energy and determination to push herself up on her elbows, blinking quickly to clear her vision, "who?"

She was sure she heard a laugh, "it's Stiles Kayla. A relatively still drunk Stiles who is actually like half sober so... You alright?"

Stiles, right, yes. She remembered now. Kinda. She remembered dancing with him, kissing him, teasing him, filling up his plastic cup with a crazy amount of alcohol but she didn't remember this. Where the hell were they?

Then, like a deadly Avalanche, snippets of stuff invaded her mind - kisses, touches, more touches, undressing and a serious case of being really damn horny.

"Oh... Shit..." She whispered, rolling onto her stomach and no doubt looking like a damn walrus trying to sit up, "Stiles... I think I had sex with someone. _Great_ , now you're definitely going to hate me now" she groaned but to her surprise Stiles just chuckled, one hand grabbing her waist and the other curling around her arm to sit her up at the edge of the bed and she had to take a deep breath to stop her stomach churning, gazing onto his amused face, his hair spiked more than usual and cheeks flushed a deep red.

"Kaylz, it's fine" he reassured, swiping some hair from her face.

She frowned in confusion, "it's fine I had sex with someone? Who are you and what have you done with jealous Stiles?"

He laughed again, warm breath hitting her face and she distinctively still smelt the alcohol, "Kayla... It's _fine_ " he repeated, definitely still half drunk, his eyes a little wider than usual, "it's fine because it was me you had sex with. Well, almost had sex with" he corrected, "we never actually got to do the actual deed - dead close though, you were thoroughly enjoying me teasing your, _y'know_ , with my... _Y'know_..."

"Oh" she muttered in realisation, "oh thank god it was you. Wait, why didn't we go through with it? I mean I know we were both drunk out our heads but we were both up for it...?"

"You feel asleep. Well, more like passed out" he explained gently, leaning backwards to find her a blanket to wrap around her shoulders, only sitting there in her bra and skirt. "I wasn't gonna do anything when you were like that, that would just be wrong"

That was so sweet. Well, it should be the norm but her past encounters with guys, except Stiles, weren't exactly romantic or by the book. Since coming back she had slept around, a lot, like _**a lot,**_ and quite a few of those times she was blazing drunk, unable to even see two feet in front of her but had ended up hooking up with some guy despite the very obvious signs she was off her head and probably going to pass out. Not once did someone say no or stop, they just kept going and going and going until they were done with her but not Stiles. No, he stopped. He stopped because he didn't want to take advantage of her. Why did she mess everything up when she had the perfect guy sitting in front of her? Why did her lack of emotions, of feelings, turn her into a complete and utter bitch?

She half smiled sadly, meeting his steady stare, "you're the only one that has"

"Has what?" He wondered, frowning over at her as she tugged the blanket tighter around her shoulders, "has stopped?"

She nodded, "most of the time I remember, I _wanted_ it but I guess there's a few times where it's blank. I just wake up and there's some guy there - they said I initiated it but I'm not so sure about that"

He looked at her sadly, anger flaring around the edges of his gaze, "Kaylz, that's not sex, that's ra-"

"Let's just not go there" she cut him off, "it's fine. Well it's not fine but I'm over it. I don't have the capacity to care anyway so-" she shrugged, "-I guess thank you for not going through with it"

"You never have to thank me for doing the right thing" Stiles insisted, the sudden realisation dawning on him about how fucked up her thinking was since coming back. Old Kayla would never stand for that but this Kayla, he realised, had zero self worth. She acted confident but she wasn't, he saw that now. She hated herself and what she had become so much she thought it was normal for guys to do that. That thought alone killed Stiles.

She frowned, "I don't?"

Her thinking, her mind set, was screwed to hell. He didn't know if it was because she was made to think this over the last few weeks, or because of everything she had been through prior being dead and all, but he wanted to change that. He wanted the old Kayla back, the one who recognised the difference between right and wrong, even if sometimes her morals were a little questionable but then again so was his, they were in the same boat.

"No" he said softly, reaching out to cup her cheek, "I will _always_ do right by you no matter what. It comes naturally Kaylz"

She went to smile but felt her stomach cramping again and groaned, placing a hand over her bare stomach and another hand over her mouth, "I'm going to be sick"

"Uh-that way" he pointed in front of him where the door leading through to the master bathroom was and despite feeling like crap she raced across the room, throwing open the door and dropping to her knees to hover over the toilet and it was amazing how quick someone could move when raced with the reality of puking their guts out.

She grabbed the edge of the toilet seat, leaning over the bowl and heaved for what felt like forever, the alcohol and drugs not mixing well in her stomach, her eyes blurry with tears as she couldn't catch her breath but Stiles just sprawled out beside her, tugging her hair back gently and holding it away from her face and rubbing her back with his other hand, trying to soothe her despite the obvious discomfort she was in.

The cramping slowly eased off, a horrible sickness still hovering over her and making her feel all dizzy and, basically, like crap, the hangover hitting her hard. Her head rolled on the toilet seat, a heavy groan escaping her lips.

"You okay Kaylz?" Stiles murmured quietly, still circling her back with the palm of his hand as he tilted his head down to try and catch her gaze but she didn't look up, letting out another groan.

"Don't look at me" she said, her voice muffled and quiet and he just chuckled, scooting over the cool floor so their bodies were touching.

"I've seen you in worse states than this. Remember that time you got the flu? You looked like death warmed up. Or one of those zombies from the walking dead. And I'm pretty sure you didn't shower for like five days and you know what? I still loved you for it" he said lightly, trying to coax a smile out of her and it seemed to work because he heard a weak chuckle, slowly raising her head to look at him.

"You flatter me, really"

"That's what boyfriends are for. Or, y'know, whatever we are now"

She raked her hand through her hair, moving the sweaty tendrils back away from her vision and rested her head on her upraised palm, trying for a small smile.

"If it's any consolation, you look worse than me" she observed, lips quirking, "but, hey, you haven't puked yet, well done. You're handling your alcohol considerably well"

"The past few months I had some practice" he replied offhandedly and she frowned, cocking a brow for him to explain, "losing you... And everything that happened... I couldn't cope. Couldn't sleep. Alcohol helped with that a little. That's where I met Kayleigh actually, thought it was a chance meeting, now I know it wasn't. I was pretty bad that night. My liver definitely didn't thank me the next day. Puked all over Lydia's bedroom floor, she wasn't happy" he chuckled, remembering Lydia flipping out and screeching about her new rug.

Her face suddenly fell, a hurt but wondering expression crossing her expression, "uh... Lydia?" She asked quietly, sitting up a little straighter with seriousness, "why... Why were you in Lydia's bedroom?"

Maybe if he still didn't have the alcohol running through his veins he would've calmly explained it wasn't what she thought but he was still a little tipsy and just smirked, a small laugh escaping his lips at the thought of Kayla - heartless, emotionless Kayla being jealous of Lydia of _all_ things.

But she clearly didn't find it funny, a hurt look twisting her features as she pulled back and he quickly refocused, shaking his head frantically.

"Oh no, not like that Kaylz. I didn't sleep with her, god no" he shook his head quickly, "she found me at your grave, took me back to hers and we watched some home movies, you know like Lydia filming lacrosse practice, getting you and Allison ready and I passed out on her floor. At least she was decent enough to shove a pillow under my head and give me a blanket"

"Oh, oh right" she visibly relaxed, "that's okay"

He smirked, "were you jealous just then?"

She shot him a glare, "nonsense. Beware of that ego Stilinski"

"You were so _jealous"_

"Shut up"

"You got _so_ totally got jealous there"

"Ha-ha" she commented dryly, "laugh it up. So funny. _Ha_ " she pushed herself up wobbly, flushing the toilet and grabbing a hold of the sink for support, "so wasn't jealous" she mumbled under her breath, pointing a finger at him before he could open his mouth, "not another word on it. I still feel sick and I will puke on you if you don't keep your mouth shut"

He snorted in amusement, pushing himself up clumsily too as she pulled open the glass medicine cabinet above the sink, rooting through it and pulling out a couple of aspirin and swallowing them dry, squirting some toothpaste on her finger and briefly scrubbing at her teeth before taking a mouthful of mouthwash to freshen up her mouth, spitting it out in disgust.

"What's the time anyway?"

He checked his phone in his pocket, "a little after four, we've only been asleep for a couple hours"

She was still holding onto the sink for support, eyes sliding shut in exhaustion, pallor pale and tinged grey, "can we go home?"

She asked it so softly he almost missed it, eyebrows shooting up in shock. She just referred to them as 'we', as in them _both_. Plural. She even said home. Not 'can we leave now?' Or 'can you take _me_ home?'. She said it just the way she used to, when she stayed over at his and they would just lounge in his room. She wanted to go home... Little did she know he was already there, right next to her. _She_ was his home. Metaphorically at least, otherwise that would be weird.

"... Yeah" he nodded gently, fishing his phone from his pocket and shooting his dad a quick text - his dad who would be on nightshift and would pick them up if he wasn't too busy, "and uh, by the way... You might need these" holding up her skimpy black lace underwear that he still had and she glanced at them, then back to him before breaking out into laughter, hunching over a little as the laughs shook her body and it was infectious because he started chuckling too.

"Thanks for holding onto them for me" she smirked, laughs slowly dying down but amusement still evident on her pale face, reaching out to take them back and slip them back on up her legs, "I would offer to let you keep them but this is a short skirt and I don't particularly want to flash anyone"

His lips quirked, "maybe it's for the best"

His dad appeared a little under a half hour later in the sheriff cruiser, a few people who were still partying desperately tried to hide at the sight of 'sheriff' plastered along the length of the car but his dad wasn't concerned with them, hell this wasn't even his county. He was just here to pick his son up from a party so he wouldn't have to drink and drive and risk possibly crashing just trying to go home. He had some time, may as well use it.

"You look like crap"

"Jeez, thanks dad" Stiles commented sarcastically, ruffling his already messy hair and opening the door, helping a dozy Kayla to sit in back and buckle her up, "you're full of flattery this fine morning"

"It's nearly 5am Stiles"

"Still classifies as morning" he smartly replied with, the litre of water he had before making him a lot more with it and sensible, "thanks for picking us up"

"Of course" he nodded, glancing warily at Kayla, "uh... She's not going to try and kill us is she?"

Stiles snorted, "not unless you piss her off"

His dad paled and Stiles just coughed to clear the awkwardness - clearly his dad didn't get he was joking, "dad, I'm kidding, she's fine, aren't you Kaylz?"

"Hmmm?" She glanced up, squirming a little to get closer to Stiles and rest her head on his shoulder, "of course. I haven't killed anyone in days. Unless of course you count that bitch at the weekend who's still in intensive care but she totally deserved it, promise"

Right, she was obviously referring to Kayleigh. Well he hoped so, hoped that some other poor bugger wasn't on the receiving end of Kayla's anger, "uh..." Stiles met his dad's gaze in the rear view mirror, "to be fair she totally did. She tried to blow me up"

"I can't keep up" his dad shook his head, starting up the engine and slowly pulling out of the driveway, "you kids lead more exciting lives than most action movies"

Stiles chuckled, adjusting his body a little so Kayla could get comfortable on his shoulder, glancing down and watching her drift off to sleep, dozing soundly against him. A quiet clearing of his dad's throat made him look up curiously, meeting his dad's gaze in the rear view mirror.

"She seems different. Softer somehow"

"Yeah, I've been noticing that too" Stiles whispered, slowly holding her closer with an arm around her shoulders, "like at that party. A couple of weeks ago she wouldn't even look at me, hell she hated me and I don't blame her, but back there it was like... It was like it was only _me_ she saw. She was joking and laughing and smiling... She seemed happy. And for a minute I forgot about everything that happened, everything that _was_ happening, because she was back to being Kayla again. Well, old Kayla wouldn't get some ecstasy off some random person but you get my drift"

His dad sent him a small half smile, gaze briefly flitting down to watch Kayla still sleeping against him, "do you think it's working? Whatever it is that you're doing to get through to her?"

"I'm just being honest with her" he replied, "laying my cards on the table. She knows if she deliberately messes up again I won't forgive her entirely. Maybe that's why she's trying, because she knows she'll lose me. Dad I... I think she's not as heartless as she pretends she is"

"I think you might be right"

"Really?" He asked hopefully, "I'm not just deluding myself here?"

"I don't think so. She has changed"

That admission warmed him up considerably, just the thought that what he was feeling wasn't one sided made him feel strangely complete. He wasn't deluded or just madly in love, unable to see what was really happening. He was slowly getting her back, piece by piece, bit by bit.

He tightened his grip around her shoulders, tips of his fingers absentmindedly stroking her bare arm, "we uh... We haven't slept together yet. Well we have, obviously, like before everything that happened, but not recently. But she has slept with pretty much everyone else. And I don't know why I'm telling my _dad_ this out of all people. Blame the alcohol"

"You can talk to me about anything Stiles"

He knew that, he knew he could, but it didn't make it any the less awkward.

"She wants to, y'know..." He nodded his head forward, the implications perfectly obvious, "but what if we do that and she leaves me after she gets what she wants?"

His dad frowned, "I don't think she would. She could get sex from anyone Stiles, but you can offer her so much more than that. She's clearly realising that"

"Yeah... Yeah I hope so" he whispered, scooting down a little in the seat and pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head, "thanks dad"

"You're welcome son"

* * *

He had to help her up the stairs so she wouldn't fall flat on her ass, guiding her into his messy room and looking out some of his tees that she could sleep in as she clumsily slipped her skirt off, kicking it away across the room and almost getting stuck in her crop top as she tugged it off, letting out a loud sigh and standing there, sagged over in exhaustion.

"Stiles... I can't get my bra off..."

He snorted, handing her a baggy blue tee before indicating with his finger for her to turn around and she did, stumbling a little as she did so but he just stabilised her by holding her shoulders until he was sure she was standing straight and sipped his fingers down to unclasp her bra, sliding the straps off her shoulders so it fell from her body onto the floor and she kicked it away before turning around and looking up at him with those big green doe eyes of hers, bottom lip pouted out.

"Help me?" She asked, still looking totally out of it as she sloppily passed him the tee back and raised her arms and if she wasn't standing there looking so pitiful and genuinely helpless then he would've thought she was trying to seduce him, standing there half naked and all.

He gulped, tearing his eyes away from her body as he rolled the tee on, tugging the soft material down so it came to rest on the tops of her thighs and she just patted his chest, muttering out a quiet thanks before slipping into his bed face first, trying to tug the duvet up around her but failing miserably.

He admired the hilarious sight for a few seconds, snorting to himself before kicking off his pants and shirt, clambering over her to the left side of the bed and tucked her in so she wouldn't get cold but her groggy eyes opened, makeup smudged under her eyes.

"I'm sorry" she whispered croakily, reaching out to place a hand across his bare stomach and roll over to curl into his side.

"For what?" He asked gently, cocking his head down to watch her eyes flutter shut, laying totally still against him.

"... Everything" was her simple answer before drifting off to sleep and Stiles just lay there and watched her, marvelling at her answer. In just a few weeks she had gone from wishing him dead and promising to bring nothing but misery to his life to this, apologising wholeheartedly for all the mistakes she had made.

If that wasn't progress, he didn't know what was.

* * *

"If you're here for another shouting match then I really will kill you" Kayla warned Paige that morning at school, holding up her hand to stop the blonde's rant, "I have a hangover from hell so kindly piss off"

"You don't scare me Kayla"

"No?" She removed her shades, letting her eyes glow a furious green, "but I should"

Paige gulped, still not used to the whole supernatural other worldly thing quite yet but held her ground, tilting her chin up, "we've been partnered up in English"

"Oh?" She let her eyes fade back to normal green, "your lucky day then"

Paige scowled, moving some curled blonde hair away from her face, "I can do all the work, I certainly don't need _your_ help"

"Aw" she smirked, "poor Paige-y not like to share? Or maybe that's just guys I can't quite remember"

Her eyes narrowed, her jaw clenched tightly, "it's like you're asking for another slap"

"Oh please, try it" Kayla laughed, "I would _love_ to see how that ends. I'll give you a hint - your spleen down your throat. And look-" she glanced around the empty corridor, "-no big bad ex werewolf boyfriends to protect you"

Paige rolled her blue eyes, crossing her arms, "the Kayla I knew wouldn't be this big of a bitch"

"The Kayla _you_ knew bent over backwards to save _your_ ass from prison you ungrateful little bitch" she said sharply causing Paige to wince, "you know, after you killed my best friend. So don't pretend to know me, we were never real friends"

"What happened to you in those two months?" She asked sadly, shaking her head softly, "what the hell happened in Mexico?"

"Mexico?" Kayla barked out a laugh, "yeah, I wish it was frigging Mexico. Guess that boyfriend of yours really wasn't all that honest after all" unable to keep the delighted smirk off her face.

"W-What?" That shocked Paige, rattling her to the core - Isaac may have lied but he opened up eventually, what else could he have possibly been hiding?

Kayla rolled her eyes, "I was dead Paige. Dead as a frigging dodo. My meat suit was rotting away and your _boyfriend_ helped cover it up. So sorry I can't be assed to deal with your problems when I have a few of my own that's much more important"

Paige fell back a step, her jaw slackening, "what? That's impossible. People don't just come back from the dead"

"I just did, get with the programme" she urged, "some stupid ritual-sacrifice-dark Magic-voodoo crap. Gotta say though, I do feel a lot more refreshed. Maybe those maggots did a good job at giving me a spring clean"

Paige looked sickened, staring at her in disgusted awe, "he... He never told me"

"Shame" she commented dryly, "guess he didn't trust you all that much after all"

Tears glistened in her blue eyes, the fight immediately leaving her and for a second Kayla felt kinda bad. She didn't know why-she just did, like she had kicked a puppy after it had already got hit by a double decker.

"Fine" Kayla sighed heavily, letting out a disgruntled noise under her breath, "I'm sorry okay? There, I said it. I am sorry" she repeated, "clearly having sex with Isaac was _wrong_ " she said that last word with so much sass Paige almost snorted, "and I'm sorry for making you miss out on taking his v-card - but if it's any consolation, virgins always come quickly so you probably wouldn't have enjoyed it"

Despite the pain she felt Paige couldn't help but laugh, "God, you're utterly ridiculous you know that?"

"Just telling the truth" she shrugged, "so there, you have my apology, so suck it up and move on and stop moping. You'll get frown marks"

"This doesn't make us friends Kayla" Paige called out as she turned around and starting walking away, "you still betrayed me"

"Yeah" Kayla muttered sarcastically under her breath as she strode away, "wonder what _that_ feels like"

* * *

She didn't know how she ended up in this situation.

Okay, well, she did. She turned her back on her vengeful cousins because all they wanted to do was use her - use her for her power and that's it and she didn't want to be used anymore. She had been used by Aiden, by Peter, by Brian, the nogitusne, spent hundreds of years being belittled and hurt, she wasn't going to waste her chance of freedom because she felt like she owed them something for bringing her back to life. Something she never even asked for. And clearly, they didn't like her choice. So they threatened her, they threatened the people she once called friends. They threatened _Stiles_. All to try and get her on their side so they could become unstoppable.

Unfortunately, their manipulation didn't work. She would never work with them. Not ever.

Hence how she ended up here, feeling panic she hadn't felt in so long, the urge to protect and not harm stronger than ever.

"You're not going to harm them" she warned darkly, her voice as sharp as razor blades as she hovered in front of her pack, eyes glowing a dangerous green as she faced her three cousins, "not unless you want to be ripped apart limb by limb you weak... Pathetic... Cowards"

Juan just laughed and stepped forward, his head cocking to the side, "we gave you a chance cousin. We gave you several, but yet you still choose them-" jutting his chin forward but Kayla didn't dare look back, "-the ones who let you die rather than us, the ones that saved you. You're ungrateful"

"Oh, I'm sorry" she muttered sarcastically, "did you want me to send you a fruit basket as thanks?"

"We wanted _you_ " he roared, "we wanted you and your ruthless power, not this version" he scoffed, looking at her distastefully, "not some weak, pathetic little girl that thinks protecting humans is worthwhile. You've been a severe let down"

"I've heard that all my life, but hey, at least I'm consistent" she smirked, chuckling under her breath.

"We wasted so much time bringing you back" he shook his head in disappointment, "so many valuable resources. We invoked dark magic that night cousin, called upon the very first evil that ruled this world and all to piece you back together so you could protect _them_? They're useless. They're weak. So maybe it's time you learnt a lesson"

"Sorry, not in the mood for trigonometry right now"

He ignored her sass, nodding their other two cousins forward, "after we rip apart your pack, I'm going to reverse the resurrection spell. I'm going to break it and watch you slowly die, decomposing in front of my very eyes. And there's nothing you can do to stop me"

She concentrated, putting up that invisible barrier between her friends, between Stiles and her crazy cousins so they couldn't harm them and her friends couldn't move forward. It was for the best. She didn't want them caught up in her mess, which was a strangely odd feeling but she ignored it, twisting her head to the side to crack her neck.

"Oh yeah? Wanna bet?" She challenged, letting out an amused chuckle, "You're all weak, and I? Well I've been holding back quite a bit. You have _no idea_ what I can do... But congratulations..." She added darkly, forehead lowering as her eyes glowed even more, darkening to an even more dangerous green as thunder cracked above them, the sky suddenly opening as rain poured down, pelting them all painfully, "you're about to find out"

 **A/n) Lmao I'm done. I'm out. I'm probably going on hiatus for a bit. I'm tired and unmotivated and busy with an actual life and don't want to ruin my chance at a degree because I feel guilty about not updating so stay awake all night to write despite being absolutely wrecked and ill, (not even exaggerating, writing takes up so much time that I sometimes don't get sleep and feel like crap aka like now) put off essays/homework (like im doing now) etc for nothing back so maybe see you in a week, could be a few I don't know yet. I'll see how I feel but right now I feel very down about it and unconfident because so many people are reading but I'm not getting any responses to know what I'm doing well/improve/general comments. So for now I'm going to sleep, try and not feel bad about this rant and maybe refind my love/motivation for writing because there is nothing more I usually love doing than writing this series, it's a big part of my life now and always will be. Xxx**


	26. Chapter 26 - Corpse

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any way, shape or form. You guys all rock, thank you so much for the reviews, inspiration and understanding. I would never just abandon these stories but I have decided to, at times, slow my pace a little and only write when I can, I hope you can all bear with me but I'm sure my updating schedule won't change too much it just depends on my workload, especially when I go back out on placement cos' then it's gonna be hectic but you're kind words mean so much to me you have no idea, I was smiling so much reading them all :)**

 **To those that reviewed, thank you thank you thank you, which means a massive shout out to Guest, x XRoweenaJAugustineX x (aw, you're so sweet), (it's okay ha, and thank you, so happy you're liking it), Luna888 (you're so kind, you've been with the stories sine practically the beginning so thank you so much), Guest, XxxXCherriesXxxX, mrs Tall Blonde and Dead, 19irene96, bmdrwho12 (aw, thanks), Guest, Dark Angel Assassin's (thank you for the continued support lovely), linda96, CA (aw really? I'm so happy people feel that way), TheMysteriousPerson -0-'-0 (thank, means a lot you understand but im semi back, yay), hope (d'awww thank you), EllieWellyBear (aw, im so sorry you feel that way irl, chin up lovely and it's okay sweetie, don't worry about it, thank you so much for your support), Jenzaxfreak (wow, that review was amazing, thank you so so much for all that insight, it really means so much that you took the time to type all that, and im sorry about your son and I totally understand about the time factor, life gets in the way haha, but thank you once again for your continued support) and Guest, (you're very sweet, thank you) you all deserve the world, hope you enjoy this next chapter :)**

The day had started out normal enough. Well, normal ish. After that little run in with Paige she dragged her feet to math class and kept making faces at Malia just to piss her off - Malia who was still not really speaking to her friends and just growled at her before saying she needed to use the bathroom and stalked off.

She still couldn't really get how that untrained half coyote was her sister. Well she did _'get'_ it, Peter obviously put around a lot, clearly thinking with his dick and not with his brain - like wow, couldn't he have covered up? But it still made her... Uneasy. They shared the same blood, the same father, something she grew up not knowing, believing it was only her and her brother - her brother who wasn't really her brother but her cousin through blood and gosh, it was all very confusing. Mind boggling even. But she didn't like it. She didn't like the fact Malia was her sister, even if it was just half.

They then went to coach's economics class, Kira nervously sliding in the seat next to her as she shared a nervous glance with Scott in front.

"Relax pixie" Kayla rolled her eyes, relaxing back in her seat, "I don't bite. Much" she added with a smirk, sending her a playful wink as Kira's eyes just widened, a silent expression of terror twisting her face.

And then, soon, they had lunch. She didn't want to stay in school so made her way to her car (and yes, she splashed out and bought another car, no biggie) about to drop into the seat so she could speed away to the take away place down the road but a call of her name stopped her, glancing over her shoulder curiously.

"Yes Isaac?" She smirked, "thought you didn't want to see me again?"

He slowed to a stop, keeping several feet distance between them, "Paige uh... She said you apologised"

"Is that so hard to believe?" She crossed her arms, keeping the smirk of amusement pulling at her lips as he just frowned, chewing the inside of his cheek as he contemplated what to say next without starting a furious argument.

"Do you... Do you mean it?"

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't" she shrugged, "I guess I felt pity for her... Sort of..." Isaac was watching her closely, analysing her every word, unable to tear his gaze away as he studied her heart beat, watching the pulse in her neck throb, how she didn't seem to be so guarded as she spoke and did notice a difference in her demeanour - it was slight, almost unnoticeable, but he knew his best friend and saw a little bit more of her coming back each day. Though, he supposed at this rate, they would be fifty by the time Kayla came to her senses.

"We uh... We did hurt her" Isaac sighed sadly, "a lot" he added, taking another step closer when he was at least fifty percent sure she wouldn't strangle him to death, "so thank you for saying sorry, I know it couldn't have been easy for you when you're like this"

She rolled her eyes, "Great. _Fab_. Happy we had this little chat but I'm really craving a kebab so..."

"I'm trying to make things at least semi cool between us and you're going to ditch me for a frigging kebab?" He exclaimed, eyebrows raising in shock.

"Hey-" she threw her hands up, "-you're the one that told me to leave you alone - what was it you said? That I'm a twisted evil bitch?"

"Are you denying it?"

"Hell no, just pointing out that those words came out of your mouth and generally when people say that they don't want things to be 'cool'. You still hate me, I can feel it all over you, so stop being a suck up and grow a pair and keep hating me Isaac. Because there's nothing worse than people lying to themselves"

He narrowed his eyes, "fine. You know what? Whatever. What... Ever..." He scoffed, turning his back on her, "forget I even bothered trying"

"Am I supposed to say sorry?" She called out, "because you storming off in a huff obviously means I've done something wrong despite just giving you a reality check, being honest. Why does everyone get pissed at me for being truthful?"

"Because there's being truthful and then there's being a grade A bitch and you always seem to cross that line" he exclaimed, "before it was cute and endearing, now it's just plain horrible"

"Aw, is your feelings hurt?" She mocked, pouting sassily and watching his mouth twist into a tight line, "you gonna go tell mommy and daddy? Oh wait..." She trailed off, "you can't"

His angry expression immediately changed to hurt and she exhaled, deflating as she realised what she said and had a sort of epiphany - she really shouldn't have said that, his broken look causing her gut to clench uncomfortably. Was that regret? Whatever it was it didn't feel all that good anyway.

"Bad choice of words" she muttered, "that's still a sore subject, I'm... I'm sorry"

"Stop apologising" he ground out and she was shocked to see glassy tears pool in his baby blue eyes, "you don't mean it. Stiles is deluding himself that he can ever get you back... The Kayla we loved is dead. The thing you are now is an insult to her memory"

Those words hit home and she felt like she had just got whiplash, softening her stare as she peered across at him, "I haven't changed that much"

"You're unrecognisable" he scoffed, "you're not the same girl I..." He paused, cutting himself off before he could say anymore, "you're not my best friend" he corrected, "so stop all this. Stop pretending to help us because it gives you entertainment, stop stringing them along. They're - _we're_ \- hurting enough as it is, we don't need this" he exclaimed loudly, "we don't need some rip off of the old Kayla"

"How passive aggressive" she heard the distinct familiar voice drawl out and spun around, immediately getting defensive as she saw Juan and his - their - two other local cousins standing on either side of him, "seems the puppy has a bit of a temper, how about I fix that for you?" He offered, about to stride forward but before Kayla even knew what she was doing she had stepped in front of Isaac, glaring at her cousins as she lowered her forehead, her eyes flashing green.

"How about you not?" She suggested, an edge to her tone as she glowered at them.

"Someone's touchy" Juan smirked, "I thought you hated them? But obviously not"

She gritted her teeth, holding her hand back to warn Isaac to stay where he was, "stay away from them and stay away from me otherwise the outcome won't be pretty"

"No" he agreed but a smirk lit up his features, "it won't" and the way he said it made it appear he had more up his sleeve than he was letting on and she definitely didn't like the sound of that.

She felt Isaac brush up against her back, his hot breath hitting the back of her head but she paid him no attention, frowning at the ones that brought her back from eternal damnation, "well? Spit it out - if you have something to say then say it"

Juan shared an amused look with the two bitches on either side of him, a pleased expression twisting his features as he peered at her, "I did tell you cousin but yet you didn't listen to our warnings. Soon, you'll be back in the ground where you belong..."

Maybe it was the way he said it with so much confidence and contempt or maybe it was due to the sudden surges of humanity that she had been feeling more and more lately but whatever the reason she felt her heart rate spike, a tug pulling at her gut as she realised how serious they were being. No bluffing, no trying to mess with her, whatever they had done or were doing was not going to end well for her. They saw no benefit of having her alive, saw her as a threat even, so had decided to get rid of her.

"W-What?" hating the stutter in her voice as she cocked a brow, "what are you talking about?"

"Quite simple really cousin" he smirked, "we brought you back and we have the power to correct our mistakes. We weren't lying about that. You were a failed experiment"

"If you want to see me dead then you'll have to kill me yourself" she stated confidently, shaking away the uncomfortable ache in her chest.

Juan just smiled at her, that stupid cocky arrogant smile and that was when she knew all hell was going to break loose.

And it did.

She stormed after her cousins, yelling at a suddenly very concerned Isaac to "stay where he was" and that she "didn't need to worry about him as well" and shook him off, angrily tracking down her cousins to her graveside, the burnt down wreckage of the Hale house scattered in front of them as they stood off against one another, eyes glowing a furious green.

And she was prepared to handle it her own way. Have her head wholly in the game without any distractions - fighting for nothing but herself and self preservation which meant she was prepared to do anything but those people, her friends-former friends, whatever they were to her now just had to try and come to her rescue.

She didn't _need_ rescuing and was slightly insulted they thought that – how many times had she saved their asses? Ha, yeah, exactly, too many times to count. And now she had to worry about them getting caught in the crossfire because they couldn't just stay where they were. God dammit.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed, glaring at the pack, every single one of them here bar Derek, even Malia tagged along despite not looking happy, her eyes flashing green, "go away"

"No can do Kaylz" Stiles gasped, placing his hands on his knees as he sucked back some much needed air, "we're all in this together"

"This isn't high school frigging musical" she exclaimed.

"Let them stay" Natália smirked, her bronzed skin shining as the mid-day sun hit it, her dark eyes and shar features lifting into a dangerous smirk, "more the merrier right?"

"More to play with" Andrès added, his voice coming out a little lispy and she realised why – his human teeth were gone, transformed into those pointed glistening teeth that looked ready to tear meat from the bone. Great - now she had to deal with cannibalism on top if everything else. _Fantastic_.

"You're not going to harm them" she warned darkly, her voice as sharp as razor blades as she hovered in front of her pack, eyes glowing a dangerous green as she faced her three cousins, "not unless you want to be ripped apart limb by limb you weak... Pathetic... Cowards"

Juan just laughed and stepped forward, his head cocking to the side, "we gave you a chance cousin. We gave you several, but yet you still choose them-" jutting his chin forward but Kayla didn't dare look back, "-the ones who let you die rather than us, the ones that saved you. You're ungrateful"

"Oh, I'm sorry" she muttered sarcastically, "did you want me to send you a fruit basket as thanks?"

"We wanted _you"_ he roared, "we wanted you and your ruthless power, not this version" he scoffed, looking at her distastefully, "not some weak, pathetic little girl that thinks protecting humans is worthwhile. You've been a severe let down"

"I've heard that all my life, but hey, at least I'm consistent" she smirked, chuckling under her breath.

"We wasted so much time bringing you back" he shook his head in disappointment, "so many valuable resources. We invoked dark magic that night cousin, called upon the very first evil that ruled this world and all to piece you back together so you could protect them? They're useless. They're _weak_. So maybe it's time you learnt a lesson"

"Sorry, not in the mood for trigonometry right now"

He ignored her sass, nodding their other two cousins forward, "after we rip apart your pack, I'm going to reverse the resurrection spell. I'm going to break it and watch you slowly die, decomposing in front of my very eyes. And there's nothing you can do to stop me"

She concentrated, putting up that invisible barrier between her friends, between Stiles and her crazy cousins so they couldn't harm them and her friends couldn't move forward. It was for the best. She didn't want them caught up in her mess, which was a strangely odd feeling but she ignored it, twisting her head to the side to crack her neck.

"Oh yeah? Wanna bet?" She challenged, letting out an amused chuckle, "You're all weak, and I? Well I've been holding back quite a bit. You have _no idea_ what I can do... But congratulations..." She added darkly, forehead lowering as her eyes glowed more intensely, darkening to an even more dangerous green as thunder cracked above them, the sky suddenly opening as rain poured down, pelting them all painfully, "you're about to find out"

And just like that she strong rays of sunshine were washed away by the dark rain clouds above, angrily swirling as they got battered by the strong winds, bright flashes of lightning starting to zap across the grey sky, the rain ice cold as it bounced off the forest floor and started soaking them to the skin – it was like every ounce of happiness had been sucked out of the atmosphere. No birds chirping. No gentle swaying of the trees. No sweet smell of pine or jasmine. Just nothing but this dark expanse that smothered them, crushing their hopes and bringing a sense of dreaded doom that shook them to their core.

Juan, although looking a little uncomfortable, managed a smirk, "you can't win this one cousin. You may be strong but you're still just a dead girl walking"

She matched his smirk but pulled it off so much better, her gaze sliding up to meet his and despite his brave offensive exterior he felt a soul-shattering chill surge through him as he met her stare. It wasn't the eyes of some half crazed being, it was the eerily empty look of someone that had let in their demons and danced with them, no remorse in sight.

She watched him gulp, signalling to their two cousins and soon more figures started emerging from the trees, striding forward at a military pace and Kayla just cocked a brow, scoffing at the sight of the humans that flanked her cousin's sides like obedient dogs.

"Aw, this your little fan club?" Kayla mocked, "how sweet"

Juan ignored her, nodding his head to the eight people, eight compelled inferior humans, and one guy probably around thirty, tall broad and muscley started walking forward, his deep brown eyes glazed over with the compulsion.

How sad it was they needed to compel some measly humans to do their bidding. How utterly _weak_.

She rolled her eyes, twisting her head around to look at her pack, see their startled and terrified expressions as they knew there was going to be bloodshed. _A lot_ of bloodshed.

"You might want to close your eyes" she warned, that inhumane glint in her eyes that told them despite how hard she had tried to be normal, to let those emotions back in, to feel what she once had, that she would enjoy this very much. Because she had let too much of the darkness in to ever feel the light again. Because she wasn't the same, and today would prove that.

The man continued to stalk forward, now within an arm's length and Kayla just twisted back around to face him, quirking a brow as she watched his bottom lip curl, thick arm shooting out to try and punch her but she was quicker and much more strategic than him, batting it away like a fly and grabbing him around the throat with one hand, squeezing until she felt the muscles pop and trachea cartilage begin to bend by sheer force, his face immediately turning red as he tried to struggle out of her grip but it was futile. She wasn't letting go, especially when she lifted him up with one arm so his feet were dangling several inches off the ground, cocking her head to the side as she watched in nothing short but amusement as he choked to death, letting out a satisfied sigh as she heard the tearing his trachea made but soon got bored.

A simple twist of her hand fixed that, his neck successfully snapping before he dropped to the ground like a stone at her feet, eyes still wide with terror.

She didn't even spare a thought that he was innocent, just compelled to do whatever they wanted against his wishes because she was self-preserving here – she couldn't afford to be soft. Not now.

She casually stepped over his corpse, lips quirking as a woman probably not much older than this idiot by her feet marched forward, gripping a steel blade in her hands, her eyes detached and cold as she raised the blade as if she was going to gut her but Kayla just grabbed her wrist, bending it backwards until that satisfying cracking echoed around them, the woman letting out a wail as she dropped the blade, cradling her wrist. But the compulsion was strong, she was forced to follow through on her orders despite the pain and soon had enough blade dripped in her hand, swiping out at Kayla's stomach but she just jumped back, letting out a growl and swung out with her fist, smacking the woman in the jaw and less than a second later had her pinned to a tree, bending the woman's hand that was still holding the blade until it was turned around at her own chest and swore she saw something close to fear spark within her light blue compelled stare.

She almost faltered.

 _Almost_.

She chose not to. Smirking as she forced the woman to push the blade deep within her chest so blood sprouted out, making the blade to twist just for extra special effect so it tore through skin and bone, letting go of the grip she had on her so the stranger slid down the length of the tree, shuddering out her last breath and Kayla didn't even care how sick it was to enjoy this. She had been oppressed for far too long- it was time people found out what she was _really_ capable of.

She heard heavy footsteps behind her and ducked just in time as an axe imbedded itself in the trunk where she was facing just a split second before, not even having to glance behind her to know her opponents next move and leaped up into the air, bringing her legs as far into the air as possible as the axe sliced through the space where she was perching just a moment ago, swivelling around quickly to kick the guy so hard in the stomach he almost keeled over, hunching forward as he wheezed for breath and she only had a second to think 'wow, he's cute' because what? Don't judge, he was, the total tall dark and handsome type before she grabbed the axe from his strong grip, flipping it through the air to grab the handle of it and had swiped out with it so smoothly there was only the faint sound of squelching as his head was cut clean from his body, soaring through the air and rolling along the forest floor, out of sight.

And still, it made her feel nothing. Nothing at all. Not for these strangers because that's all they were – strangers. People she didn't know nor care about. She was fighting for herself and for survival, nothing else.

Two more people broke away from the dwindling group of compelled humans, two girls in their late teens, early twenties, their eyes glazed over with anger and Kayla just rolled her eyes, matching their pace and met them halfway, not even giving them a chance to try anything before her hands had punched their way through their chests, breaking through skin and bone to rip their still beating hearts from their body, splashes of blood soaking her arms as she pulled back, gripping the bloodied muscle in the palms of her hands as the two girls immediately crumpled to the ground, dead.

And yet she didn't even flinch. Not even at the brutality of it. Not at how inhumane it was. She had been beaten and messed with for so long, been torn apart so many times that nothing affected her. She thought that, maybe, those emotions were coming back but yet here stood, holding the two hearts in her hands and felt absolutely nothing. Not even a twinge. No remorse. Not regret. No guilt. She was as empty as a bottomless pit. A monster.

The nogitsune had succeeded in that. He had tormented her to the point where she was just that – a monster. And there was no coming back from that, she had accepted that.

"Shame" she commented, cocking her head to the side in a daze, fingers stroking the slippery bloody surface of the heart as she examined them, "they were too pretty to kill" she observed, unable to keep the delighted smirk off her lips as she started juggling with the hearts, meeting her cousins' suddenly very nervous gazes, "your little guard dogs are pretty useless"

But another one of the compelled humans ran forward, his arms out like he was going to tackle her and Kayla just snorted, shouting a quick "catch" to her cousins as she threw them the hearts before bracing herself for the impact, using his weight that careened into her as leverage to spin him around, grabbing the back of his jacket and a fistful of his hair to smash him headfirst into a tree trunk, dazing him and having him on the brink of knocking himself out.

She could stop there. She could. She realised that, but where was the fun in that? So she kept smashing his head against the trunk until splatters of blood soaked her green short sleeved shirt, blinking harshly against the still harsh onslaught of rain that hit them, finally letting his dead body drop when his head was so caved in he looked like a half-eaten corn beef sandwich.

"Like I said – useless" she repeated, licking the tips of her bloodied fingers clean and smirking, "hmmm, kinda fruity. I can sorta see why you like eating people now. Bet their packed full of carbs"

But clearly her cousins compulsion was strong because the remaining two compelled humans, an older guy, maybe around the mid forties and a young blonde haired girl probably no older then fourteen began to stride forward and for a brief moment she did feel a little sad – was this man the girl's father? Did they once have a good relationship? But as soon as it had come it was washed away by her anger at getting continually attacked, letting out a long drawn out sigh.

"We really going to keep doing this?" she asked sarcastically, "you really wanna end up dead?" both father and daughter never stopped advancing, "I'll take that as a yes then? Okay…"

So she tore them apart too.

Daddy dearest lay collapsed by her feet, his neck split wide open from where her transformed razor sharp teeth tore into his carotid artery and little miss sunshine had her neck snapped so forcefully it was close to being a decapitation but hey, survival right?

"Well…" she brushed her hands off, casually glancing up at her three cousins, "that was therapeutic. Maybe you should open a spa"

Juan looked furious, his lip curling as he looked at his fallen compelled 'soldiers' in disgust and she watched as his eyes flashed an angry deep green, Natália and Andrès soon following suit and she just stared back unimpressed with their efforts.

"Sorry about your little pets" she said in a tone that indicated how very _un-sorry_ she was, "but that was a pathetic attempt to try and, what? Take me down?"

But Juan's furious look soon melted away into amusement and he started laughing, "maybe we weren't trying to do that at all – maybe we were just trying to distract you, ever thought about that?"

A terrible sinking feeling pulled at her stomach as she now realised Natália was holding something in her grip, something indistinguishable from this distance and through the rain but it radiated power, that much she could sense.

"Funny how reversing a resurrection spell is incredibly easy – well much easier than the one to bring you back. It took a week you know?" Juan mused, pacing back and forth in front of their cousins as he stared at her, watching her every movement, trying to figure out if he had unsettled that seemingly flawless cool composure yet, "a whole week as we waited for that rotting, decomposed corpse of yours to knit itself back together. Without us you would still be there-" pointing to the upturned grave that she still had flashbacks of pulling herself out of, "-thrown away like trash. A pile of bones. You should be thanking us but instead you turn on us? Us? Unloyal" he hissed.

"I never asked for this" she shouted, "I didn't _ask_ to be brought back – to be allowed to be this person. This ' _failure'_ I am is on you"

"Blood of a virgin" Juan reeled off, "the heart of a grim reaper – an incredibly rare ingredient. A pentagram drawn in the virgin blood under the light of the full moon. We chanted for hours. We were on the brink of destroying ourselves as we let ourselves get touched by the true evil that once ruled this earth, invoking its power to raise you from the grave. It wasn't easy. It was far from _easy_ cousin, but we can right our wrong. And we will" he vowed, "Natália, start the spell"

And this was when she started panicking. This was no trick, they were serious. They were going to put her back in the ground. By reversing their creepy dark magic, did that mean she would end up back there again with the nogitsune? She didn't know and that _terrified_ her. She didn't want to go back there, not again. She had dealt with enough hell – she was broken beyond repair, she couldn't go back. She _couldn't_. She wouldn't.

She couldn't even turn around at Stiles' voice, tuning him out, not willing to let him distract her as she let out something close to a snarl, angry flashes of lightning snaking across the dark sky and suddenly a bright white streak soared downwards and hit a nearby tree, shaking the ground as it did so, the large tree snapping in half and careening towards her three cousins who managed to dodge the danger.

"Natália, NOW" Juan yelled urgently as Kayla clenched her fists, her furious eyes making him shiver as she strode up to him, grabbing a handful of his shirt and pinning him to a tree, wrestling with him to keep him still.

"You'll pay for this" she warned, grabbing a fistful of his hair and yanking his head to his side, "you _all_ will" she growled, forcing him into submission as she tore into his neck with her teeth, tearing through skin and muscle until her mouth was soaked with the tangy taste of his blood, letting out a pleased groan as he yelled but felt movement behind her and turned around just in time to grab Andrès' arm before he could hit her, their dark green glowing eyes meeting furiously but he was quick, kicking out with his left leg so her knee bent at an awkward angle and she stumbled, giving him leverage to punch her square across the jaw as she fell to the wet ground, spitting out a mouthful of blood.

"Or maybe I'll just kill you myself" Andrès growled, reaching down to grab her shoulders and yank her back up, pulling his arm back to hit her again, "say goodbye cousin"

Just as his clenched fist was inches away from her face did she flick her wrist and he froze, stilling immediately, only his eyes still moved, widening in terror as he stood there paralysed.

She smirked through the throbbing pain in her lip, her pure relentless anger making her uncontrollable, the dark rain clouds overhead parting as loud rumbles of thunder cracked above them, "goodbye cousin" she mocked, not even flinching as a rod of lightning she controlled hit him square in the chest as he was thrown backwards, the smell of burnt flesh tickling her nostrils as his skin sizzled, clothes smoking.

She heard Natália stop her chanting to let out a wail but Juan, still holding his bleeding neck, stumbled over to her, shouting at her to keep going with the spell before he turned to Kayla, his eyes like fire.

"I hope you enjoy rotting in hell"

She growled, stepping forward but was hit with a wave of nausea before she could get far, stumbling to a stop as the furious glow faded from her eyes, her expression twisting into pain as she felt her stomach clench, gut churning and her vision blurred.

Whatever this feeling was, she didn't like it… not one bit.

She fell back a step, swallowing thickly to try and quell the sickness surging through her veins, her legs beginning to shake as she felt all her energy slowly draining away bit by bit.

Juan's figure was a little blurry but she was sure she saw him smirk, "tell the nogitsune hello from me"

She ignored him, falling to her knees as she grabbed at her stomach, feeling it squirm as it was ignited in fire, the pain making tears rush forward. But the more of her energy that got drained away, the weaker she became, the less that protective barrier between her friends and her cousins worked and it soon fizzled away.

Scott was the first one to realise, his eyes immediately turning red, shifting into the alpha as his claws sprung out, glaring at the two cousins.

"Reverse what you're doing" he ordered, Isaac flanking his side, fully shifted, Kira too unsheathing her sword as Stiles skidded down on his knees next to her, grabbing her shoulders to keep her stabalised.

"Kaylz, Kaylz hey, look at me – _Kayla"_ he ordered, voice shaking a little as Lydia dropped next to him, eyes wide with terror, "look at me"

She did, blinking to try and clear her vision but never spoke, grounding herself by watching those beautiful honey glazed irises look at her in concern.

"No can do" Juan yelled back, "she killed one of ours… it's time we return the favour. Put the trash out" he added, nodding at Natália to continue with the chanting, invoking so much power the storm continued to worsen, the air around them dropping in temperature.

"Kayla…" Stiles pleaded, reaching up to cup her cheek, "fight this"

She was trying. She was. The last thing she wanted was to go back there, to be doomed for all of eternity but she knew what was happening – she felt it and it was agony. Reversing the spell meant her body was slowly reverting back to what it once was and what it once was wasn't good. It was being a rotting corpse, organs turned to mush, skin shrivelled and grey, bugs eating away at whatever little nutrients her bag of bones still had. It was being dead and gone, something she didn't want.

She vaguely heard a fight break out between her friends and her cousins but she couldn't focus on that, feeling her stomach tighten and lurched forward, coughing up some bloodied dirt. Dirt that once encased her. She was rotting away from the inside out.

Stiles rubbed her back, Lydia stroking her hair as they tried to speak to her but she couldn't concentrate, couldn't focus except on the pain that seized her body, dirt continuing to scratch her oesophagus as she choked it up, stomach lurching with bile as she spat out something stuck in the back of her throat, something spongy and long and felt like being sick as she saw little white maggots squirming on the ground in amongst the bloodied dirt.

Those… those were inside her?

She groaned, collapsing forward onto Stiles lap as he turned her around, cradling her gently.

"It's okay Kaylz, you're okay… we'll fix this – _I'll_ fix this"

She peered up at him, body spasming in pain, watching Lydia nod as she agreed with him but it was futile – she was already dying from the inside out, her organs rotting. She didn't think coughing up dirt and maggots was exactly healthy.

"T-The dead are supposed to stay dead" she mumbled, "maybe it was just my time to die"

"Stop that" he ordered in panic, shaking his head as he adjusted her head on his thighs, "dammit Kayla, stop talking like that. You didn't deserve to die – still don't"

She snorted, stomach lurching again as she gasped back a pained groan, "I'm-I'm a monster"

"No" he stated, stroking her hair softly as is hand shook, bottom lip wobbling a little, "you're Kayla alright? You're _my_ Kayla" he flinched as she groaned in pain, grabbing at her stomach, "and you're going to stay my Kayla, till the end of the road remember?"

"Our… our road came to a dead end a long time ago" her voice was quiet and wracked with pain, trying to convince him that loving a monster wasn't in his best interest but another wave of pain hit her, her organs slowly shutting down, "S-Stiles… I don't want to d-die" she admitted feebly, "I don't"

"I won't let that happen" he vowed, "not again" wiping away the tears from his cheeks and gently lifting her off his lap, "Lydia, hold her" placing her aching body on Lydia's knees, leaning down to kiss her forehead, "Kaylz, look at me"

She squinted, seeing two of him floating above her, "I love you"

"I…" she faltered, her voice cracking and she tried to speak back, to say something back but nothing happened, her voice-box decaying, "I…"

He tried for a gentle smile, the pad of his thumb running over her bottom lip, "hold on" and just like that he disappeared from her sight and she could see him no more, unsettling her to the core.

"It's going to be okay Kay" Lydia promised, her beautiful strawberry blonde hair like a beacon of hope in front of her stare, "we'll fix this"

But maybe it couldn't be fixed. Maybe this was just supposed to happen. The dead shouldn't come back, why should she be the exception?

"Lyd…" she said faintly, groaning under her breath as it move to hurt now, skin painfully beginning to stretch as it dried out, a sudden rush of empathy making her want to apologise, the cool touch of impending her death making her panic and soften, hoping to try and croak out some sappy words to her former best friend but before she could her vision tunnelled and disappeared, throwing her headfirst into darkness, "… I… c-can't s-see…"

And Lydia watched this, cradling her head on her lap as she watched her eyes glaze over, that vibrant green dulling, a horrible thin layer of white film covering the entire eye.

The strawberry blonde let out a sob, holding her best friend for dear life, "I know Kay, but I'm here, I won't leave you"

She tried to speak back but couldn't. It was like her voicebox had completely given up, rotting and breaking apart piece by piece. Her insides were giving up, reverting back to decomposing, senses slowly disappearing, bugs coming alive under her skin and just before her hearing went she was sure she heard an angry and terrified yell from Juan of "NOGITSUNE" before being plunged into agony, writhing in torturous pain, like every inch of her was being boiled in acid.

She had died before but then it was because she had a purpose – to save Stiles. And she was naïve to the full consequences, not knowing she would end up in the nogitsunes clutches but that naivety made dying bearable. Now not so much. She knew her fate and she was _terrified_. He had already broken her, she couldn't take anymore, she couldn't face returning to hell.

Lydia glanced away from Kayla as she heard that shout, watching Stiles suddenly turn rigid with fury as he attacked Natália with so much force she fell to the ground and he had to quickly grab an urn she had been holding as she chanted her spell before it fell and broke and Lydia was sure she saw something flash through his eyes – darkness maybe? She didn't know, but it was eerily familiar, just like when he was the nogitsune, and barely had time to gasp in shock before Stiles was back with them, carefully depositing the urn next to them.

"Kaylz, hey Kaylz, it's okay, the urn isn't broken. They channelled the spell through this, without it they can't complete the reversion… Kayla?" he said sharply as she didn't answer, body jolting in pain as he slid her from Lydia's lap to his, "Lydia what's happening? Why isn't she talking?"

But Lydia was too shell-shocked to reply, eyes wide and glassy with tears as Stiles jolted at the feel of Kayla's normally smooth skin turn leathery and wrinkled and let out a wail, cupping her cheek, "no, no, no, stop that, stop it Kayla. You're stronger than this… I just got you back, don't go and do this to me Kaylz, not now" he begged, his agony increasing tenfold as he watched her unresponsive body fail, usual tan skin fading into a horrible grey.

"Kayla… Kayla" tears dripping off his jawline, holding her sprawled out body on his lap, "please… not again… open your eyes for me"

But it was too late. The spell had already taken hold of her body, twisting and mangling it's once perfect packaging back to how it was when she was in the ground – rotting, thin, scraggly and decomposed, her features indistinguishable and she felt every second of it, unable to say a word.

And Stiles was forced to watch this – watch her rot away in his grasp until he was left holding nothing much more than a skeleton, skin dry grey and shrivelled as it was stretched over bone, stomach gorged out so he could see her ribcage, organs liquifying, large spaces in her orbital sockets where her eyes once were, a beetle crawling out which made his stomach churn, hair matted and crawling with bugs.

He didn't even recognise her. She was just bones and rotting flesh but yet she still breathed – or at least her body made the action, she didn't have any lungs to fill up, breathing slow and even because she was forced to hold on until the last agonising moment.

His entire body flooded with sickness, hating himself for having to let her go but was unable to stop the bile and vomit that raced up his windpipe as he pulled himself away from her corpse and spewed up the contents of his stomach.

He couldn't see her like that – not in that way, that _state_. He couldn't handle it.

But little did he know she was still alive and kicking – well, not exactly _kicking_ considering her legs had no muscles and were just bone, but he was right. The reversion spell didn't work. It _couldn't_ work successfully without that one vital ingredient – the urn in which her essence had travelled through, only now they had the _slight_ problem of healing her body that was, well, quite frankly pretty unhealable.

 **A/N) Kayla no dead yay, I would never kill her again lol just cause her torment haha but she is definitely still alive, her body has just been decomposed like a zombie haha next chapter is gonna be heavy stayla, especially at the end *hint* smut *hint* haha anyways please please review and I love you alllll, thank you all x**


	27. Chapter 27 - Touch of your love

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any way, shape or form, and a massive thankful shoutout to the extra favs/follows and of course the amazing reviews so thank you to Guest, JustAGirl, Linda96, 19irene96, Guest, x XRoweenaJAugistineX x, BeccaSco, Sive, Hope, CA, TazyTara, xJenzaFreakx and zvc56 you are rock and I love you haha, hope you like this next chapter**

" _Just the touch of your love is enough to knock me off my feet all week, just the touch of your love, just the touch of your love" – (hint hint, smutty frickle frackle, don't say I'm not good to you guys lol)_

During those two torturous months he had dreamt of her like this, woke up screaming at the sight of her decayed and rotting in front of him, skin hanging off bone and face mauled and mangled. But those were just dreams. Nightmares even. This, right now, was not a figment of his imagination. It had happened. She was back to looking exactly as she had in the ground they buried her in, two months' worth of decomposition eating away at her skeleton. He couldn't even find solace in her gaze because all that stared back at him was two empty gaping holes where those pretty eyes of hers should be.

His stomach lurched again, nothing but acidic bile burning his oesophagus as it pooled from his mouth, the sounds of fighting dying away in the background.

He couldn't look… he _couldn't_ look at her, not like that. Not knowing that's what she was like for all that time, that every time he spoke to her or fell asleep propped up against the tree, holding nothing but dry dirt and pretending it was her hand she was just feet beneath him looking like that. For _god sake_ they didn't even bury her in a coffin, just wrapped up in a thin sheet and left for the elements and bugs to destroy her.

How sick.

How fucking _sad_.

Lydia was crying to his side, his friends eventually clocking onto what had happened as he heard various shouts and exclaims of shock but he couldn't look up, willing away the dizzying sickness that seized his body.

He thought he saved her. For those few seconds after he attacked Natalia and got the urn off her, the thing she had been holding for dear life as it was vital to the ritual, he thought he was _finally_ able to save her life.

He didn't.

He choked on more bile, spitting out a mouthful of the burning yellow spit.

How did he let this happen?

How did he let this happen _again?_

He was stuck between sobbing and letting out loud groans of pain, gasping for breath as he felt Scott kneel next to him, cupping his shoulder and roughly urging him to look up, which he did, Scott's face blurry from tears.

"She's not dead Stiles" Scott said loudly over Stiles' distressed wails, on the phone to Deaton as he held the cell between his shoulder and his ear, "Stiles, she's not dead. Snap out of it man, she needs you right now"

He could barely understand what his best friend was saying, unable to rid himself of the image of her laying there just feet away from him, rotting and empty.

"She looks dead to me" Malia said bluntly, crossing her arms and sniffing the air, recoiling at the smell of rotting flesh but something close to pain twisted her features, wondering why she was feeling sad over the girl she hated.

"She's not" Scott shook his head, reassuring his friends as she tried to smile at Stiles, "Stiles, listen, Deaton says you need to break the urn. Something about her living energy being trapped inside. If it's broken no one can use it against her again, and you'll free her essence. Stiles?" Scott jostled his shoulder, "Stiles, listen to me. Kayla's going to be fine but she needs you. She needs you to do this"

Stiles sniffed, staring up at Scott helplessly, "she's g-gone Scott… I p-promised her, I s-said I would keep her s-safe and now she's-she's…" he cast a fearful glance to her rotting body, clothes hanging off her gory skeletal frame, "she's not-"

" _Stiles"_ Scott said more firmly, "Kayla will be fine. But you _need_ to break that urn"

Stiles glanced down at the brown urn next to him, symbols etched into the ancient design as he, in despair and grief, just followed Scott's instructions, not wanting to let himself hope in case it didn't work but raised the urn high above his head before bringing it down and smashing it into the trunk of a tree.

At first, nothing happened. He spared her another glance, seeing her decaying and warped body still laying there on the forest floor, empty eyes staring right into his soul, blackened skin stretched tight over bone, mouth wide open as if in a pained shout, rotting teeth eerily on show and just as he let out another cry, about to break down into fresh tears, something red caught the corner of his eye.

Dark red cackling energy surrounded and encased her body, waves and streams of light floating and pulsating as her essence returned to her body, reverting her decomposing body slowly back to how it was before – he squinted, watching the muscle and skin grow back, body knitting itself back together, healing and regrowing every inch of her that had been damaged until he watched her face smoothen out, eyes forming in the sockets before, suddenly, she shot upright, gasping desperately for breath as the red energy faded from around her, her eyes glowing a luminous green as she swung her head around to stare at them.

"K-Kayla?" he whispered, clinging onto Scott's arm for support.

The glow faded, leaving just the beautiful forest green he thought he would never see again, dry lips trying to form coherent words as she struggled to see them all clearly, her vision still blurred having not readjusted to, well, _re-having_ eyes. Them being liquified clearly meant there was an adjustment period.

"Don't worry" she croaked out, voice box rattling as she tried to speak, "I won't be auditioning for the walking dead any time soon – not my best look by a long shot"

* * *

He waited for her patiently as she emerged from the shower, padding back through to her hotel room in a short pair of booty shorts and a blue tank top, towelling drying her hair as she met his gaze from he sat perched on her bed.

"Nice shower?" he asked, unable to help his gaze as it trailed over her body – body that was back to being smooth and perfect again as if nothing had ever been wrong with it in the first place.

She nodded, still struggling with her voice, sounding more like a sixty year old chain smoker.

He stood up, holding up his hand in front of her, "how many fingers am I holding up?"

She squinted adorably, "four?"

"Two but close enough" he snorted, dropping his hand and closing the gap between them, "Is uh… does it take a while? To be, you know, fully functioning?"

"Not long" she said quietly, "considering I didn't have eyes an hour ago, I'll take anything"

He flinched at her dismissive tone, wringing his hands together, "don't talk like that"

She frowned, "why?"

"Because I had to literally watch you decompose in front of my eyes… you weren't Kayla, you were just a skeleton and… and I don't want to have to think about that"

"But you saved me" she whispered, "and you were able to because you got angry, didn't you?"

He didn't like where this conversation was going.

"What are you implying?"

"I heard what Natalia said" her voice a little stronger so she didn't sound like a chain smoker, more like a forty a day kinda girl, "she called you 'Nogitsune'"

He didn't quite know how to reply to that, her careful eyes trailing over his body.

"You got mad… and you let that leftover darkness take over, even for a brief second"

"Maybe" he agreed helplessly, "I don't know what's happening to me and maybe I don't want to know. Because if I know then it might not be something I want to hear because if the nogitsune really has left his mark on me then that means I'm cursed… forever. There will be no escaping him"

"Maybe you should stop seeing the negatives in this" she advised, "just because he left some mojo in you or 'marked' you or whatever, it doesn't have to be a bad thing"

"What the hell do you mean?" he snapped, "how is living with any part of him _good_ Kayla? Don't you remember what he did? What he did to _us?"_

"Of course I do" she said, affronted, "but you can learn to live with whatever darkness there is inside you – it doesn't define you, you're still Stiles"

"Are you even hearing yourself?" he exclaimed, "jesus, just because you've turned heartless and able to slaughter nine people without batting an eyelid it doesn't mean everyone else should just do the same"

Harsh, but true. She recognised that. But she was trying to empathise, something she had some serious problems with, and clearly her comforting didn't work.

Which is when she got defensive.

"Screw you" she shouted, "how do you know what I feel after killing them?"

"Because I see it in your eyes" he snapped, "no remorse, not much of anything"

She deflated, frowning at him in hurt? Was she really that bad? Was her lack of emotions impacting her and changing her that badly?

"It was self defense"

"That girl was fourteen years old"

"And I'll go and lay flowers on her grave" Kayla nodded, "but I can't help it, I just-I don't feel for them. They're nothing to me"

"I… I can't hear this" he whispered shaking his head and backing away from her, watching as her eyes widened as if she were scared at the thought of him leaving, "I need to just-… to just…" he didn't even know, sidestepping out the door and into the hall.

This entire situation was so messed up.

She was Kayla, but she wasn't really. She was an extreme version of the girl he fell in love with and even though she was hard and wild, terrifying and merciless, he still saw his Kaylz in there. Almost losing her again today just reinforced how much he cared for her, even when she was sometimes unrecognisable.

He thought about it. Then he thought about it some more. Then he stopped. He was overthinking, expecting too much, he knew that so maybe it was time to stop expecting some miracle to happen and just let him indulge in the moment. To just let time stay still.

"Screw it" he muttered to himself, turning on his heel and pushing the door back open, striding across the length of the room just as she turned around, mouth parting to no doubt start shouting at him again but he didn't give her the chance to, grabbing her cheeks in his strong grip and pulling her flush against his chest as his mouth met hers in a frantic passionate kiss, whatever angry words she was going to exclaim dying in the back of her throat.

This… _this_ is what he wanted. Just her. Them. Together. Why did nothing work out in their favour? It was like whatever forces were out there were continually trying to pry them apart but not now. Not today. He wouldn't let it. He had lost her for far too long, let his grief swallow him whole until there was nothing left but a bitter angry shell of the person he once was. The nogitsune had ruined him, took away the most important thing in his life, his future… well screw him, screw that and screw everything and everyone that has or ever will try to rip apart his life.

 _Not again._

Her skin was soft beneath his touch, so warm and inviting as he slid his hands across her cheekbones and through her loose short hair, tugging it away from her face as he deepened the kiss, their lips moulding together with so much longing and intensity he felt her shudder, her hands slowly trailing up his sides to hold him closer.

She wasn't perfect. Since coming back she was hard and ruthless and unforgiving, she acted without thinking, without remorse or care, but she wasn't _just_ that. She was also strong and wilful, a force to be reckoned with… she was soft when she felt safe showing those vulnerabilities and insecurities.

She was his Kayla, and he wanted her more than he wanted anything in this life.

Her soft hair tanged through his fingers as he trailed his palms down her back, inching along the curve of her spine and squeezing her hips in his grasp, not wanting to let his hands leave her body. She responded eagerly, fingers tightening around his shirt as his hands ghosted over the curve of her ass before slinking down to grip her thighs and she got the hint, letting her arms encircle his neck as she jumped up, bare legs wrapping around his waist.

This is what he wanted.

He wanted simple. And _this_ was simple. When she was in his arms, nothing seemed impossible. He felt like he could conquer the world.

Her fingers threaded through his hair, titling his head back to continue kissing him, ends of her hair tickling his cheeks as he groaned quietly, trusting she could keep her weight before taking the ends of her tank top and sliding it up her back, lifting it from her body which caused them to break apart for a few seconds as he let the silk material drop to the floor before her lips were back on his with feverish urgency.

He blindly walked them towards the bed pitching them both forward onto the soft mattress, limbs intertwined as his body collapsed above hers, gasping back some ragged breaths as he gazed at her, meeting her flustered stare.

No words were needed, just a simple look conveyed everything they were thinking, longing evident in both their hooded stares as Kayla grabbed a handful of his hair, bringing their lips back together in a heated kiss as she bent her knees, letting him settle between her legs.

And, unlike all the others, this, to her, felt right. It felt calming. _Soothing_ even. His warm body pressed against hers, lips in sync with her own, that familiar smell that clung to him engulfing her entire being as she slinked her hands past the collar of his shirt, tugging in free from his body before tugging his tee off, lips breaking apart as she undressed him slowly, keeping him hovering above her on the palms of his hands as she glanced down, lust filled stare trailing down his bare torso.

He had always been enough for her, his body the perfect canvas to look at but lately he was more toned, muscles flexing beneath his speckled skin, broad shoulders she wanted nothing more to cling on to, stomach indented with the curve of his abs, dark hair splattered down his navel and leading below the waistband of his pants and she found herself unable to glance away, admiring shamelessly his physique.

He watched her pupils dilate, lips parting a little as she reached out to slowly to touch his chest, feeling his heart race, clammy skin hot to touch and it still amazed her, even to this day, that she could have this effect on him – an effect that was so much more than just sexual. She bit her lip, tracing the curve of his pec before flicking her stare back to his smothering one but his lips just quirked, holding himself up with one hand as he slowly let the tips of his fingers outline her bottom lip before pulling it free from her teeth, soothing the skin as he leaned down, cupping her cheek tenderly and kissing her once again, his body rolling against hers.

She had never let herself get this invested in one moment but she lost herself, nails sinking into his bare back as his hot mouth trailed wet kisses down her cheek, nibbling on her jawline before sucking sweet marks into her skin as she gasped, clinging to his lower back to ground herself.

How could something so simple as his mouth on her skin make her brain go haywire? The seductress in her purred, longing for more but she, herself, _yearned_ for more. She wanted him because he accepted her, because he made her feel so much at once with just one look.

Her hands found their way to the button on his slacks, slowly untying them and unzipping them, slipping them off his hips as he blindly kicked them away, nipping playfully as he skimmed down her chest, settling between her breasts above the wire of her bra and her back arched, fingers sliding back up to tug on tufts of his hair, making her pleasure apparent. He smirked, kissing around the material of her bra, feeling her breasts swelled when her breathing pace quickened, sliding the palm of his hand under the cup to gently palm the soft flesh which caused her to stutter out a moan.

Being so close, so intimate with her was like a drug to him, intoxicated by her body as he squeezed the soft breast, feeling her nipples harden and dig into his palm, sweat beginning to form between the valley of her breasts as she squirmed in delight beneath him.

He fiddled with her bra clasp, pulling the black bra out from under her body before taking her all in, watching her full breasts bounce a little as the bed jostled and he gulped, remembering how soft they were, how perfect they were to cup in his hands so he slinked down, running the tip of his tongue around her puckered nipple while caressing the other in his hand, massaging the soft perky skin as she moaned.

He liked teasing, playfully letting his tongue continue to graze around her darkened nipples before feeling his stomach clench with need, enclosing his mouth around her nipple that had swollen and peaked hard, skin taut and tight as he sucked on the warm mount of skin, palm massaging her other breast before carefully taking his thumb and finger and squeezing hard on her other nipple making her gasp.

He pulled back, not wanting his lips to leave her for a second so trailed them between her breasts, her skin tasting like sweetened strawberries and slightly tangy from her sweat, inching down her stomach and kissing around her belly button, her stomach rolling as she jolted, fisting the covers below.

He removed her bed shorts, slowly tugging them down her legs and nudged her legs further apart so they were pressed into the mattress, so overcome with arousal and the sight of her pantyless, letting out an aroused grunt before burying his face between her legs, expert tongue skimming through her wet folds until they parted for him to gently suck her clit into her mouth, lips moulding around her flushed skin and despite the blood rushing to his ears he was sure he heard her squeak.

He cocked a brow, glancing up from between her legs to see her quivering, head thrown back into the pillows as he slowly moved his mouth, lips moulding around her bare core, tongue flicking that little nub lovingly as he felt her jolt and spasm beneath him, having not experienced something this personal, something this intense, in so long. Only Stiles was really able to hit all those extra spots – every damn time.

He treated her right, taking his time and enjoying it himself – loving the way she squirmed, her warm thighs lifting to wrap around his head, core slickening with wet heat that he eagerly lapped up, sucking sensually on her clit until she was choking back breathless moans and cries of want.

His briefs were uncomfortably tight on him, his boner pressing harshly against the confines of his underwear as his bulge hardened, twitching with want so just slowed his mouth down, pulling back with a wet pop and didn't bother wiping the wet smudges from around his lips, kissing the inside of her thigh as she tried to regulate his breathing.

He pushed himself up, kneeling between her spread legs as he pushed his briefs down and threw them on the floor, taking a firm grip of his cock and slowly started jerking the tip off, hardening even more in his grasp.

Kayla watched him, biting harshly on her bottom lip as her chest flushed red, unable to stand this intense lust anymore as she hooked the heel of her foot around his hip, pulling him down on top of her, bending her knees but keeping them upraised on the bed, running a hand through his sweaty messy hair.

"Stop teasing me" she whispered gently, watching him smirk as he pecked her lips, keeping them pressed together as he mumbled, "I love you"

She remained silent, unable to respond to his words, partially because she could barely breathe and partly because she didn't know how to – she wasn't capable of those type of emotions and Kayla Hale never said anything she didn't mean.

"Fuck" He cursed, slowly lowering himself onto his elbows, arms placed on other side of her shoulders as he kept her encased below his body and she let him, feeling able to be in this vulnerable position with him, "I'm so frigging in love with you"

She didn't know why, she didn't get how he still could but he did, that much was obvious. She still had him, despite everything. Apparently, to him, their love was worth preserving.

He grunted, twisting his hips as he settled between her legs, tip of his cock prodding her wet folds as he peppered her cheek in loving kisses as she clung to his strong biceps, feeling the muscles twitch, sweat gliding down his chest.

"Don't ever leave me" he whispered, nuzzling the crook of her neck and smothering the curve with tender warm kisses, "Not again…"

Her grip slid up his arms to cling to his firm shoulder blades, twisting her head to peck the side of his dap hair, "I won't"

And that was good enough for him. He groaned, sliding his hips forward until he felt his cock inch its way inside her, spreading apart her folds and stretching her tight pussy around him, sinking into the delicious warmth until he was buried deep, savouring the feel of her wet core that pulsated around him, marvelling in the gentle moans she whimpered out.

He got lost in the feel of her, their sweaty bodies moulding together as she parted her raised legs a little more, heels digging into the mattress as he jerked his hips to a steady slow rhythm, thrusting deep. He grunted, sucking a mark onto her neck, feeling her breasts digging into his firm chest as he moved slowly over her.

Her eyes slipped shut, caught between numbing pleasure and feeling like ecstasy was running through her veins, raking her nails down his bare back hard enough she was sure she left deep, bloody scratches embedded in his skin. He didn't care, loving the stinging pleasure it caused as he angled his hips, twisting deeper, his thick cock filling up every inch of her.

She was a complete moaning mess trapped beneath his body, clinging to his hips to ground herself, every time he slowly pulled out a little she pulled him back in, gripping at his taut perky ass because she never wanted him away from her, not ever.

Her neck was red with light bruises so pulled back, blindly finding her swollen lips once again as he caught her loud moans, smothering them with his lips. But, by god, she was so frigging tight and warm around him, her body like heaven as he tried to stop the coil clenching in his stomach but it didn't work. In fact, what happened was too quick to even _try_ and stop.

"Shit" he groaned breathlessly, forehead beaded with sweat as he pushed himself up on the palms of his hands, glancing between their bodies as he watched his cum squeeze out soak her folds and she smirked, finding amusement in it as she saw his worried and embarrassed expression.

She cocked a brow, "already?" unable to stop the smirk pulling at her lips.

"Uh..." he winced, somehow managing to shrug a shoulder, "it's been a while"

She let out a snort of laughter, "evidently" she stated teasingly before having to bring a hand to her mouth to muffle her chuckles, biting hard on her bottom lip and he watched her dissolve into laughter and his own smile graced his lips.

"It's not funny" he protested but he soon started laughing too, pushing himself backwards so he was kneeling between her legs, their bare bodies now wet and sticky, glancing around for some tissues but not wanting to pull out and leave her comforting tight warmth but being as intuitive as she was she must've sensed his dilemma because her laughing died down, her eyes flashing with lust.

"Forget about the tissues" she advised, "and come back down here"

"Uh... But we're all sticky" he noted, the thick white cum soaking her folds and covering his length, no doubt dampening the bed sheets underneath.

"Even better" she smirked, curling her hand around his neck and pulling him into a deep, passionate kiss that left him seeing stars.

But she was patient, giving him time to recover, reaching down to stroke his cock until he was rock hard again in the palm of her hand guiding him back to her wet core and he sunk back in easily, sighing as he relaxed in her arms and went right back to making love to her slowly and passionately, marking her neck once again.

But then he thought of Donovan. Of Isaac. Of that redhead at the party. Of everyone she let screw her and his speed increased, encaging her as between his arms as he pulled back and watched her expression twist into one of intense pleasure, that beautifully framed mouth parting into a stuttery moan as he snapped his hips into hers to a fast pace he heard the wet slaps their bodies made, aching to feel her scream.

He got jealous. There he said it. In this moment it was just them, but he had a good memory. How many people did she let fuck her like this? Was she moaning like this too, for them?

He quickly flipped them over, holding onto her hips as she steadied herself at the sudden change of positon, pushing herself up to straddle him as he forced himself to calm down, to take things slow and gentle. She was gasping for breath, slowly revolving her hips against her, working his thick cock inside her as he lay there and watched her body twist and move over his, curves doing wonders for him as she deliberately leaned back a little, grinding the curve of her ass against his balls and jolted in mind searing pleasure, flipping them back over and pinning her to the mattress, guiding her legs high up around his waist before leaning his palms flat on either side of her head as he slowed his pace, glancing down to watch their bodies move and become one.

She whimpered, reaching up to cup his flushed cheeks, eyes closed as she bathed in the waves of pleasure whooshing around her entire body, unable to have any control over her mind or body as she moaned out words she never thought she would say, words that Stiles had yearned to hear since she left him all alone all the months ago.

She didn't know, didn't even hear herself as her back arched, core beginning to clench around him as she moaned out a breathless, heavy lust-filled exclamation of "I love you", meeting his slow thrusts.

But Stiles heard. He heard and he almost lost his thrusting pace, staring down at her in awe but all she did was throw her head back and moan, tight warmth clenching around his length.

Did she just…?

Did he hear that right?

He did. He knew he did. She said it without even realising, without acknowledgement, words filled with so much honesty and longing it made him slam their chests together, cupping her cheek and tilting her head up as he kissed her as she came, holding her and comforting her as she jerked underneath him, nails sinking into shoulders as that blissful warmth washed through her.

He grunted, losing his pace a little as he pressed his lips to her ear, whispering back a quiet "I love you too" before groaning and letting out a loud exclamation of "oh god" before he felt his cock twitch, a tight warmth surging through his length as he came so deep inside her his vision blackened, thrusting out a few more jerky movements to drain himself before collapsing on her sweaty exhausted body, gasping back ragged breaths to clear his foggy brain.

He lay in this blissful contentment for a few minutes, kissing her neck as he came down from his high before slowly rolling off her to the side, swiping at his sweaty forehead before glancing at her, seeing her laying there on her back, watching the ceiling with an amazed look on her face.

"Uh… you okay Kaylz?"

"… Yeah" she whispered breathlessly, twisting her head to glance at him, "I am now"

He smiled proudly, rolling back over to capture her lips in a searing kiss before pulling her back on top of him as they both laughed.

 **A/N) SEE? I CAN BE NICE SOMETIMES, limited angst and fluff and sexy times lmao haha so I really hoped you all liked and please please review, would so love to hear what you think about the sex scene and Kayla's little slip of the tongue haha see you all soon x**


	28. Chapter 28 - Denial

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf not mine, thanks so much for all the favs and follows and reviews including xJenzaFreakx, EET, ShiannetheFangirlofEverything, linda96, unmajestically, WickedlyMinx, Sive, Ashleymcd25, hope, TheMysteriousPerson -0-'-0 ad BeccaSco for reviewing I love you all so much and hope you enjoy x**

The next morning Stiles awoke with a blissful smile on his face, having felt, for the first time in months, truly settled. Like all his worries were non existent. He didn't feel sad, or hurt, or even angry, he just felt like Stiles again. It was amazing how just one night back in the arms of the girl he loved had changed everything. It wasn't just sex... It was reforming that connection, that bond, being so wrapped up in one another that nothing else mattered. It was hearing her say, without realising, that she loved him - something she last said when she was dying in his arms. It was nice to hear those words again, even if she had no memory of saying them, too enveloped in pleasure to notice.

He stretched out, glancing sideways but the bed was empty. He frowned, reaching out to touch the bedsheets but they were cold and just before full panic could kick in, he heard the shower running and breathed a sigh of relief. For a second she thought she just left, his fears almost resurfacing that once she got what she wanted from him she would leave and not look back.

He shrugged out of the covers, not even bothering to put any clothes on as he padded through to the tiled bathroom, pushing open the door and stepping through, the hot steam immediately hitting him as he strained his eyes to see Kayla standing there under the steady stream of water, back facing him, soaking up the soothing heat of the water.

"Morning" he greeted cheerfully, unable to keep the boyish smile of his face as he remembered the countless hours they spent unable to keep their hands off each other, "it's early, you didn't have to get up already"

Kayla stood there listening to him speak, wishing he didn't wake so soon so she had time to gather her thoughts and stop the shaking that seized her body as she was drowning in something so positive, so happy, she didn't recognise the feelings. It was unnerving how much she was feeling all at once and that was because of him, because of Stiles.

"Kaylz?" She heard him step forward, "you okay?"

She stood still, listening to him open the glass shower door and step in behind her.

"Don't get any ideas in your head" she warned, trying to keep her voice hard, "that was just a one night stand. It can't happen again"

Except she wanted it to happen again. She was so confused.

"What?" Stiles whispered in shock, reaching out to stroke her bare upper arms, "it was more than that Kaylz. I know that and you know that, why else would you say you loved me?"

She spun around, facing him fully, "I... I never said that" she denied, her voice trembling, "I don't love you. I _don't_. That, last night... It was just sex. Nothing else"

"Kaylz..." He reached out, cupping her wet cheek and stroking away the drips of water cascading down her skin, "don't be scared. I love you"

She gazed onto his face, heart racing at experiencing so many wonderful things surging through her veins, things she hadn't felt in so long that it was terrifying, "well I don't love you. Not anymore. So please leave" trying to keep her voice hard and unwavering as she nodded towards the exit.

He frowned in hurt, expression twisting into agony, "don't push me away Kaylz. Not after last night" he shook his head, "I know what happened wasn't just sex. Not the way you were looking at me. Not the way you were touching me. Not the way you said I love you"

She started to panic, her heart beating out of her chest, "It meant nothing"

"No it didn't. Not to me and not to you. I know how you feel Kaylz..." He stroked her cheek one last time before trailing his hand down her water covered bare body to rest the palm of his hand over her thundering heart and she gulped nervously, "Remember how safe you felt when I was on top of you?" He whispered huskily, not dropping his soft stare from her panicked one, "and how content you felt because it was me between your legs and not some random stranger? How my lips felt all over your body?" His other hand ever so slowly reaching out to cup her hip and guide her forward against his chest, beads of water bouncing off her body and soaking his, "remember how happy you felt every time I told you I loved you because you know how true it is? Last night wasn't just sex" he promised, tilting his head forward to press his forehead against hers, "it was you being open and vulnerable... Holding me... Looking at me like you saw no one else... It was making love, and you can lie and deny it all you want but we both know what I said was the truth"

She couldn't tear her gaze away from him, standing there under the shower feeling so vulnerable, so unguarded, she didn't know what to make of it.

"Stiles..." Her voice was quiet and meek, "please go"

"No" he shook his head before dropping it down to her shoulder, softly dragging his lips along the curve of her neck, "I'm not going to leave. Never again"

She shuddered, loving the feel of his hands on her, unintentionally inching closer to their chests touched, letting out a quiet moan as his lips dusted along her pulse point, her hands gliding up his wet arms to sink her nails into the skin, keeping him close.

She didn't have the strength to push him away or the willpower. She was like putty in his hands, giving in to his touch. He felt her already racing heart thump against his palm as he gently pushed her back against the glass shower, the shower head now pelting down hot water above his head.

"Kaylz... Look at me" he requested and she did, tilting her head back to watch him, "I love you. I love you so frigging much..." Still holding her hip as he reached out with his other hand to cup her breast, moving his lips along her temple and down her cheekbone, "you're the one Kayla. Don't be scared" he reassured, "don't be scared to feel..." Kissing her nose and then her lips, thumbing around her nipple and feeling her gasp before slinking his grip down to her thighs and picked her up, holding her back against the glass as her legs wrapped around his hips, "I'm here" he promised, "I'm here and I love you"

She moaned, wrapping her arms around his neck, gently attacking his jawline with careful playful nips and kisses before he carefully and slowly swivelled his hips closer to hers, reaching out to grab the base of his cock and guide it towards her entrance, thrusting upwards into her so she moaned loudly, nails slicing into his wet skin and he didn't even care about the fact the water bouncing off his back was burning hot or that it was slippy and he was sure he was going to fall, he just wanted to make her feel good. He wanted to make her feel anything positive.

He let go of one of her thighs, reaching up to hold her cheek in the palm of his hand to urge her to look at him, their lust filled intense stares meeting, brown and green clashing.

"Stiles..." She whimpered, not quite ready to admit what she may be feeling, the feelings so foreign and unusual it terrified her, "please... Please don't go"

That was good enough for him. He smiled gently, pushing into her deeper to hear her moan and clench around him.

"I won't" he whispered, dropping his hips slowly before pushing her harder against the glass and thrusting upwards, making love to her slowly and gently, just to remind her exactly how she deserved to be treated - loved and cared for, not used or hurt, hoping that maybe, just maybe, this was the start of something special.

After they finished they didn't speak. Don't get him wrong, he wanted to, he wanted to hold her and speak about anything and everything but she just slid down his body and stepped out from the shower, wrapping a white towel around her body and padded back through to the bedroom without opening her mouth, busying herself with blow drying her hair and curling it, bronzing the hollows of her cheeks as she sat perched at the table, gaze occasionally moving from her own reflection in the mirror to watch him but when their gazes would meet and he would smile, she would duck her head, pretending she never saw him.

Although he wished she would smile and joke and laugh he realised it wasn't as simple as that. She had gone so long without feeling that it was probably overwhelming for her whatever emotions she was experiencing. He got that. He was just happy she opened up to him in some way.

He tugged on his pants, zipping them up and tying the button, running a hand through his damp messy hair to try and control the wild tendrils but they had a mind of their own, sticking up on end no matter how hard he tried to flatten them.

He was sure he saw her smirk a little in amusement in the reflection, casually reaching into one of the drawers and pulling out a comb, holding it back silently for him to take.

His lips quirked, walking forward to take it from her grip, muttering a quiet "thanks" as he combed through his locks but it still didn't work as well as he hoped, looking like he was dragged through a hedge backwards.

"So uh…" he started off saying a little nervously, standing behind her as he dropped the comb back to the dressing table in front of her, "do you want to talk about it now?"

He watched her back straighten, an alarmed look crossing her features as her eyes flickered up to meet his in the reflection.

"I already said Stiles-"

"That it was a one night stand, yeah, I heard" he interrupted, taking a hold of her shoulders and spinning her around on the backless seat so she was facing him, crouching down to eye level so his presence didn't intimidate her, "but I don't believe you and I think even you don't believe you"

It was only yesterday he watched as she slaughtered nine people in cold blood, acting nothing but ruthless and determined but watching her now, sitting hunched on the seat, shoulders slumped and wrapped in nothing but a thin towel, she seemed oddly vulnerable.

"What do you want me to say Stiles? That it was… that it was amazing?" she asked quietly, "that being with you felt right and made me regret ever sleeping with all those people? Is that what you want to hear?"

He smiled gently, "only if it's true"

"Then…. Then yeah, it was amazing" she admitted quietly, "and I don't know quite what to do with that"

He reached out, cupping her cheek and stroking his thumb alone her cheekbone and noticed how she relaxed at his touch, gaze softening as she studied his expression.

"You have me" he whispered gently, "I'm not going to rush you into anything. Take your time, get your head around things" he advised.

"And what if I tell you that what happened last night was _really_ just sex?" she asked, "that I don't want you for more than anything than your body?"

He shrugged, "then I won't believe you. because…. Because there you were, underneath me, holding onto me, letting me make love to you when you said you loved me. You didn't hear it, but I did. I heard it Kaylz because I always hear you. _Always_ "

She gulped, gaze flickering down to his mouth, "I'm a murderer. I'm the bad guy" she shook her head in disappointment, "I'm not capable of feeling love"

"You think you're not, there's a difference" he said quietly, "so I'm going to go and uh, I'll see you in school alright?" he asked, trying for a small smile that she didn't return, she just nodded and he saw confliction racing through her gaze – she was confused, not sure what she was really feeling.

He stood back up, leaning down to kiss her forehead, lips dusting along her smooth skin but she curled her fingers around the material of his shirt and tugged him a little further down, tilting her head up to capture his lips and for a few brief seconds his mind went completely blank, unable to concentrate on anything bar her lips on his, her hands sliding around to cup her neck as she deepened the kiss, breathing in his scent.

He fumbled once he got his bearings, hands blindly reaching down to slide down her back and latch onto her hips, easing her to stand up off the stool and guide her back until her ass hit the dressing table, fingers squeezing her thighs to lift her up onto it, settling between her legs.

She shuddered, raking her nails through his unruly mop as he tasted her sweet lips, her mouth hot and fervent against his, needily grabbing at him and pulling him into her, their lips continuously meeting, once, twice, three times, over and over again until he was breathless and sweaty. Her mouth was insistent and forceful, dominant even, parting his lips so she could sweep her tongue along his bottom lips, fingers working on unbuckling his pants.

He didn't stop her.

He didn't _want_ to.

She pushed the pants off his hips as his own hands unravelled the towel from around her bare body, fingers dancing along her lightly bronzed skin to curl around her waist as her back arched, gasping a little as she pulled his briefs down his legs and he wasted no time, pulling her forward so she was balancing at the end of the table, guiding her long bare legs high around his hips before slamming into her, grabbing at her body as she moaned.

It was pure frantic need, each desperate to be a part of one another's body, nails biting and scratching at skin, lips hot and wet just as Stiles tugged at her hair roughly, attacking the side of her neck with hungry powerful kisses as he snapped his hips harshly against hers, loving the way she completely fell apart against him, choosing to pick her up and ram her back into the wall, denting the plaster but neither of them cared, her needy whimpers and moans urging him on until they reached their dizzying heights of their release, both breathing heavily.

He was a little rougher than normal – he didn't know if that was pure raw need or the nogitsunes' darkness slipping through but either way that was how he took control of that situation – by fucking her so hard she winced as she stood, legs wobbling a little.

"You okay?" he asked breathlessly, holding her steady with one arm as the other tugged up his pants and blindly tried to redo them up.

She nodded, avoiding his gaze, "yeah… of course"

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" he murmured in worry, "I'm sorry if I did, I-"

"You didn't hurt me" she shook her head, knees finally stopping wobbling, "that was just exactly how the nogitsune screwed me. That… that rough obsessive kind of fuck, that's all"

He frowned, "you mean when he took you to the Hale house?"

She nodded, casting her mind back to the moment in time when he got inside her head, forcing the enchantress part of her out to play, remembering how fierce his lips were, how powerful his body was, how rough and aggressive he got as he fed off her power. The only difference between then and now was that, now, she could feel how badly Stiles loved and craved her, desperate to feel every inch of her, to make them both feel good but back then it was one sided, the nogitsune getting high off her power as he used her.

She remembered how strong he was, pinning her down hard enough to leave bruises. How deep his teeth were against her skin. The way he fucked her, so relentlessly and aggressively that she remembered not being able to move, slamming into her hard enough to bruise and even when she woke, despite her very obvious pain tolerance and enjoyment for rough sex due to her seductress side, she felt like her entire lower body had been dipped in acid.

She saw his expression twist into guilt, no doubt about to mutter an apology but she just kissed him to cut him off, not wanting to hear his apologies. With the nogitsune, it was different. But with Stiles it was right. It was good. It was nice even.

She smiled against his lips before pulling back, leaning up to whisper in his ear, "relax, you know I like it when you let loose"

He blushed a little, coughing to clear his throat as she dropped back down to the balls of her feet, "Uh… heh, o-okay, just as long as you're, y'know, alright"

She nodded, reaching down to wrap the towel around her blissfully aching body, coming back down to earth with a bang – that they actually just spent the entire evening and night together, unable to stop touching one another's bodies and she didn't quite know what to do with the realisation that she wanted him so much she couldn't think straight when he wasn't with her – and not just sexually, she wanted to talk to him, spend time with him, hold his stupid fucking hand and that was terrifying.

He must've noticed her change in demeanour again because he smiled softly, tucking some curled hair behind her ear, "I'll see you at school Kaylz… love you"

She still wasn't used to hearing that, her spine tingling as she glanced up at him, feeling nerves seize her body. Did he want her to say it back? Was she even capable of that when she wasn't blinded by the throes of passion?

So she just simply nodded her head, watching as he left the room but didn't fail to glance once more over his shoulder to quirk his lips at her, that adorable innocent boyish smile lighting up his face.

 _Oh god_ … she thought when the door closed, she was so screwed.

* * *

Stiles strode into school the next morning, pulling his backpack higher on his shoulder as he near enough scurried down the halls, desperate to see of Kayla would show up like she said she would or if she would avoid him like the plague. He really hoped it wasn't the latter. He felt they finally made progress, that she was softer and open with him, letting him in to see the most vulnerable parts of her. Not that he particularly liked imagining or remembering seeing her with anyone else but when he did it was rough and lacked passion, just a means to an end, no touchy feely, no intimacy, just sex but last night it wasn't just sex. It was her letting him top, letting him slink down between her legs to eat her out as she lost herself in his touch. She had never let her guard down that much before.

He found Lydia and Scott standing next to the redhead's locker so made his way over, body a little jittery with nerves.

"Uh hey" he greeted, not even giving his friends a chance to reply before he was talking again, "you haven't seen Kayla by any chance, have you?"

"No"

"Nope" Lydia shook her head but pursed her lips, glancing down at her phone, "but she has another ten minutes till first bell, there's still time"

"O-Oh" he deflated a little, nervously biting his lip as he glanced back towards the double doors, wishing she would appear through, "okay"

"Is she well enough to come in today?" Scott questioned, "I mean… after that spell her body wasn't exactly in tip top condition"

He remembered their kisses, their touches, her moans and whimpers, the way her perfectly framed mouth moved all over his body, how they moved in perfect harmony fitting together like jigsaw puzzles and just gulped, cheeks flushing a little red as he stared at his two friends.

"Y-Yeah" he squeaked, "I mean, she's great. Couldn't exactly see for a while and sounded like a chain-smoker but, yeah, she's perfect. Amazing even. No signs of being zombified"

Scott just frowned at his ramblings but Lydia was looking at him knowingly, a curious frown etched between her perfectly shaped brows and he could practically see the gears turning in her head, trying to figure out what had happened.

"Then have some patience" Scott chuckled, "you know Kayla's not exactly one to arrive early"

"Yeah, 'course, of course, yeah, I'm chill, I'm just gonna chill here for a bit in the chill zone" nodding his head, "and not panic because panicking is bad and I don't even know why I'm saying all this"

Lydia smirked, her eyes going wide, "oh my god, is that a _hickey_ on your neck?" she asked, reaching forward to tug the collar of his shirt down to closer inspect the blossoming bruises littering his pale skin, purple and red blotches sunken into the curve of his neck, "you slept with Kayla didn't you?"

Scott's jaw dropped in shock but Lydia's smile was dazzling, hell if she could snap her fingers and make confetti explode from the ceiling then he was sure she would've done that.

He just smiled, starting to feel giddy inside as he remembered how unbelievably happy he felt last night, finally feeling complete, but never said anything, twisting his head around to watch the double doors just as they opened to reveal Kayla walking through them dressed casually in denim dungarees and a cropped stripy top underneath, her eyes sliding across the hall until they met his, green and brown clashing and swirling together.

He stopped still, background blurring and fading away, the noise of the corridor going silent as he felt like he had suddenly been suspended in time, seeing nothing but her soft stare on his, his stomach twisting into knots when her lips quirked at him.

She came. She wasn't avoiding him. Avoiding the truth maybe, but not him.

He awkwardly raised his hand, giving her a small wave feeling like a blushing fifth grader trying to grab his crush's attention but her shoulder shook a little as she laughed to herself, gaze dropping to the floor as she slowly made her way down the corridor.

"So how was it?" Lydia asked and despite the obvious crappy situation they were all in with the deadpool list she sounded ecstatic and curious, tugging on his shirt sleeve to get his attention impatiently, "Stiles you better answer me, I need to know. All the details"

He smiled, glancing around to stare at his two friends as he simply said "amazing" with so much awe and love in his voice that Lydia suddenly felt like fanning herself.

"I need more" she gushed, "you've got to give me more than that Stiles"

"She… she said she loved me" he supplied, still shocked that that had happened and apparently his friends were too as they gaped at him, "right before, y'know… the first time…"

"The _first_ time?" Lydia asked with wide amazed eyes, "how many times was there?"

He had lost count. Too many. For hours on end.

 _He let her straddle him, her hands enclosing around his wrists and pinning him to the bed , slowly grinding her hips against his as she teased him with her lips, pulling back every time he went to capture them to smirk in delight, leaning down so their sweaty chests met, his stomach coiling as he felt the hard peaks of her breasts digging into his chest to whisper lovingly dirty things in his ear that had him a groaning mess as she worked him to edge, only pushing herself back up and throwing her head back as she came, jolting and squirming on top of him as he watched her naked body move, ghost of his fingers trailing over her hot skin._

 _He remembered her laughing as he grabbed her and spun her around, pinning her to the bed as he disappeared back between her legs, attentively and gently lapping up their arousal before sweeping his tongue out around her flushed clit, sucking it delicately into his mouth as his mouth enclosed around her wet core, slinging her legs around his shoulders until she was a screaming mess below him, jolting and squirming in pure ecstasy as he hit every spot she was yearning for, coming in dizzying delight before accidentally jolting a little hard and flipping backwards off the bed and ending up splayed across the carpet._

 _He had laughed at that, unable to stop as he crawled down next to her, asking if she was okay through the hysterical laughs escaping his lips with which she replied "your tongue is just too good" and just to make it up to her, he went down on her again, not wanting to leave the warmth of her thighs around his head, the pleasurable pain from the handfuls of hair she was tugging, the sweet taste of her arousal on his mouth as he brought her over the edge so many times he lost count._

 _She had then flipped them over, riding his face as he grabbed at her, sinking his tongue deep inside her pulsating warmth until she nearly collapsed in exhaustion, rolling onto the floor next to him._

 _But they didn't stop there, just took a breather. Before he had known it, she was kissing his mouth, his neck, dragging her tongue down his chest, stroking his cock to a steady slow rhythm before enclosing her mouth around the tip, slowly and sensually sucking on it and flicking her gaze back to his to watch his expression twist into insane pleasure. She had made good use of her hands, twisting her grip up and down the shaft of his cock her mouth had yet to reach before sinking a little deeper, taking more and more of him in, tongue tracing each bulging vein that was throbbing in his cock before pulling back, licking a long line all the way from the tip of his flushed cock that was oozing precum to his perineum, pressing light feather like kisses to the sensitive area until he couldn't help but fist her hair to try and ground himself, vision tunnelling once she rolled her tongue around his balls, not dropping her gaze from his as she wrapped those perfect lips around them, sucking on them and that was when he nearly passed out but managed to hold it together until she went back to deepthroating him slowly, eagerly swallowing his cum when he jolted inside her mouth._

 _He went blind with pleasure by that point, unable to do much more than sweep her into his arms and kiss her slowly and deeply, hands gliding over the entirety of her smooth firm body until she leaned up to whisper in his ear something about a pool and had dragged him up, laughing as he fumbled after her down the corridor and down the lift, quietly breaking into the spa area and with a devilish smile, had let go of his hand and jumped into the pool, making a loud splash._

 _He had soon followed her in, messing about playfully before he swept her into his grip, holding her tightly against his naked body and splashed clumsily over to the side of the pool, pinning her against the tiles before sinking into her once again._

 _She moaned, placing her elbows above the edge of the pool to keep them steady which caused her chest to stick out, his eyes wandering down to her perky breasts being splashed with water and had attacked her neck in delicate kisses as he made love to her, being extra slow and extra deep just to hear her moans echo around the room but before they could cum, she had wrapped her around his neck, pulling him under water to kiss him, her long legs wrapping around his hips to keep him buried deep and he remembered finding it a little hard to stick to a good rhythm under water but they managed, both reaching their climax just shortly after one another, continuing to make out underwater until Stiles got breathless, kicking his way to the surface._

 _He remembered watching her lead him back to the room as she pushed him back against the wall, lips exploring his naked wet body, hands gliding over his skin before lifting her up and holding her against the wall as he made love to her again. Then on the dressing table. Then out on the balcony, pressing her front over the edge and bending her hips the way he liked before jerking his hips inside her, not caring who heard._

 _He remembered how they kissed – slowly, passionately, needy, sometimes just kissing for what felt like hours as he pinned her beneath him, her lips tasting like sweet strawberries. How he left passionate bruises all over her skin – on her neck, her breasts, her ribs, on the inside of her thighs, how he flipped her around to he could kiss over the curve of her ass, rubbing the flushed skin before asking her if he could take her that way._

 _She had nodded, grabbing the lube for him so he could oil up his cock and massage it across her ass, taking it slow and careful as he kissed the back of her neck, placing his hands on either side of her head which she grabbed to stabilise herself, her moans making his ears ring._

 _They had flirted, made jokes, laughed, kissed until they were breathless and literally made love until they couldn't anymore, both exhausted and drained so he coaxed her onto his chest, letting her fall asleep on top of him, his chin resting atop her head as she drifted off to sleep, stroking her bare back, circling each bump in her spine until he, too, feel asleep in the first blissful, nightmare free sleep he had had in months._

Yeah, he probably shouldn't tell them all that.

So he just settled with saying "lots. Lots and lots of times" watching Lydia smile giddily like Christmas had come early just as Kayla stopped opposite them, biting her lip in contemplation.

"Uh… Hi" she said, nodding at him and he blushed a little, meeting her stare.

"Hi back"

"Thanks for last night" she mumbled, "it uh… it was…"

He quirked a brow as she seemed lost for words, "good?" he supplied.

"Great" she corrected, "like... really great. We should do it again some-time"

His jaw dropped, "Oh my go-yeah, yeah sure, of course" because that was an admittance that she wanted more of him, she wasn't going to push him away again, "an-anytime"

She smiled at his ramblings, "See you in chem class?"

He nodded, "I'll, uh, I'll save you a seat"

She nodded, accepting that answer before excusing herself, walking down the corridor as all three of them watched her go, each with varying degrees of shock on their faces.

"Jeez Stiles-" Scott mumbled in shock just as Kayla turned the corner but not before sending him an innocent smile, "-your dick must have magical properties or something because whatever _that_ was, it was a dam miracle"

 **A/N) SEE AGAIN IM NICE lol hahaha still kinda smutty whoops but I think you all like that haha so what do you think? What about Kayla still not accepting the I love you thing but willing to now actually try start something with stiles? And Lydia n.o 1 stayla fan lmao haha anyway pls pls review and I shall see you all soon, love you, byeeee x**


	29. Chapter 29 - Vulnerability

**Disclaimer: teen wolf is nae mine folks haha you've all been so wonderful and your reviews do mean the world, hope you enjoy this next chapter X**

She didn't know what an earth compelled her to act in _that_ way to Stiles. Literally, she had _no_ clue what so ever. A few weeks ago she was full of hate and rage and now she was smiling at him across the corridor like some lovesick schoolgirl? It was bleh. It was disgusting. But a small part of her kinda liked the way he looked at her, smiled at her, _touched_ her... It felt so unusual, so foreign, having gone without these types of feelings in so long that at first she pushed him away but now, well... She didn't really _want_ to push him away. A large part of her did want to, a natural defence mechanism to protect herself, but a smaller part of her recognised that he was good for her. That Stiles could be her saving grace.

So, yeah, she pretended that it didn't mean much, that what they had was casual because she was a seductress and she enjoyed sex and she enjoyed sex with him very much, but deep down it wasn't as simple as that. It wasn't _just_ sex. But she sure as hell wasn't ready to admit that to him let alone herself, continuing to live in blissful denial.

But that all unraveled when she entered chem class a couple of hours later and immediately saw Stiles perk up at her entrance, a nervous look twisting his features for a second like he thought she would forget everything that had happened between them and revert back to being the heartless bitch she once was but then he smiled. Just a smile. Hell, it was probably only a _half_ smile, that boyish quirk of his lips that always used to bring her to her knees and she was pleasantly surprised that it still did. That she felt something stirring inside her at that look, not quite knowing what to make of it.

She faltered for a brief moment, hovering in the doorway as she debated whether she was really ready to go down this path - she could turn around, get the hell out of here, leave Beacon Hills and force herself to forget about Stiles and live a hassle free life the way she wanted without emotions, without pain and be and do whatever the hell she wanted. It sounded nice, it sounded amazing after everything she had been through.

She glanced over her shoulder, seriously considering it. For once, she was willing to take the easy way out.

Didn't she deserve easy after _everything?_

But her gut twisted, starting to feel uncomfortable at the thought of leaving and turned back around, resounding herself to the fact that she was turning soft and she didn't necessarily want to leave. She wanted to stay, to see what impact Stiles had on her. She was curious, let's say. He made her feel things she thought long gone, things that she thought had been burned and carved out of her. Maybe he could make her feel... What was that word again?

...

 _ **Whole**_.

Maybe he could make her feel whole again.

So she sighed, tightening her hand around her handbag straps and walked in, sliding into the seat next to him as he gaped at her in astonishment, leaning back slightly as if the shock was about to knock him over.

"Didn't think I'd come?" She teased, shooting him a smirk.

"I uh... I didn't want to get my hopes up. But then they were - up I mean, like _so_ very high up but for a second there it looked like you were going to do a runner. Something which I'm so glad you didn't do by the way, running away would've been very _very_ bad"

She felt amused by his ramblings, even going as far as finding it kinda cute. The way he got flustered, using his hands to speak and nearly hitting her as he did so, a nervous sweat building up on his upper lip and forehead. He was excitable around her, not really quite sure how to act and she found it adorable.

Adorable? God, she really _was_ turning soft.

"Stiles, chill" she advised with a quirk of her lips, pulling out her notepad and pen and dumping her bag on the floor under her feet, "and yeah I'm here"

His eyes lit up, twisting around in his seat to face her, "so I didn't scare you away after last night? I know I was kinda heavy with everything but I... I really do love you. I just wanted you to know it"

Scare her? Absolutely. Scare her away? Not quite. Though in the first few panicked filled seconds after he said that he loved her, she did feel like clasping her hands over her ears and telling him not to say that because it made her feel things she didn't know how to process, overwhelming her at times. But after that panic passed, she did like it... Sort of. For years all she heard was words of hate, words designed to belittle her and make her feel weak and insecure, breaking her down to pieces but here Stiles was, building her back up, sticking by her despite her stubbornness, choosing not to hate her but love her all the same as before even though she was a terrible person. The loyalty he had really was amazing.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, forcing herself to not break away from his stare, "I uh... I know you do love me. I don't understand why, but I'm not doubting your words"

He frowned a little, looking like he was reaching out for her hand but faltered, pursing his lips, "I still see a future with us you know? I think we could really make things work"

She snorted, "with me the way I am?"

"I'll always love whatever person you are - _always_ " he vowed, "but, well, I mean... You're working on it right? I mean, you are trying to let those emotions back in, aren't you?"

She shrugged, feeling a little uncomfortable with how deep this talk was in the brief moments before Chem class started but forced herself not to shy away from it.

"Yeah I guess so" she murmured, "it's hard though"

"I know" he soothed gently, "that's why, for the first time in my life, I'm willing to be patient. Because you're worth waiting for"

 _Stiles frowned at her in concern, one hand still wrapped around the steering wheel and the other tapping his thigh nervously, "only if you're sure"_

 _"I am" she nodded adamantly, twisting her head to the side to send him a small smile, "you don't have to wait, if things go well then I don't know how long I'll be in there for"_

 _"Doesn't matter Kaylz, you're worth waiting for" he told her quietly, his eyes nothing but warm and understanding, "I'll be here if you need me"_

 _"My Robin" she muttered, a smile tugging at her lips, "thank you for being so... Well, you"_

He had said that before, all those months ago when she tried to straighten things out with her mom and he had waited all evening because, to him, she was worth the time it took. He would wait forever if he had to because, in the end, it would be worth it to him.

She bit her lip, glancing down at the desk before meeting his stare again, "do you really want to waste your time waiting for used and damaged goods though?"

He reeled back in shock, sadness that she would even think that racing through his body as he fixated on her expression, that blank knowing look in place. She didn't appear affected by what she said, not even hurt or shame, just that continuous empty stare he had gotten used to over the past few weeks.

"Kaylz, you're not used or damaged goods, don't say that"

She quirked an eyebrow, "Really? Cos' out of this class of twenty I've screwed at least a third of them" she pointed out and he glanced around, suddenly a little self conscious as he speculated exactly who of his classmates had kissed her, touched her, been inside her... God, it was soul destroying wondering, a ball of fiery anger curling in his gut.

She noticed his expression twist into annoyance, his hand subconsciously curling around the edge of the table, "before, what we had was special because we had loyalty, dedication-"

"We can still have that-"

"Maybe" she agreed, "but before it was different. _I_ was different. Now I kill, I maim, I know the effect I have on others and I take advantage of that. What if I sleep with someone else again?"

"You won't" he shook his head adamantly, "not anymore"

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because you said you _loved_ me" he exclaimed loudly and she took a quick glance around nervously, hoping no one heard, "you said you loved me" he repeated a little quieter, his gaze intense and unwavering, "and please don't deny it again because we both know it's true. We were having sex and you said you loved me. You wouldn't have said it if you didn't mean it and the fact you're getting defensive just proves I'm right"

"Stiles... Don't. Can we not go there"

"It's fine you don't want to admit it" he threw his hands up in surrender, "but the sad part is you're lying to me but more importantly you're lying to yourself"

"I've forgotten what being in love is like" she stated, "or even feeling love of _any_ kind. So I'm sorry I'm not quick to jump on the deep feeling wagon but if you were where I was then you would understand exactly why this is so damn terrifying, why the idea of ' _us_ ' is terrifying to me but you don't. You don't get it Stiles and you never will"

His look softened, leaning towards her, "then explain it to me" he murmured quietly, "no holding back. Say exactly what you're feeling and make me understand. Please" he added, tilting his head to the side, "let me in Kaylz"

She was on the defence again, hackles raised and closing herself off but she realised that was helping no one. It was futile and got her no where. If she was going to try then she needed to let her guard down, no matter how much it hurt.

She let out a loud sigh, glancing up when she heard the teacher walk in.

"Not here" she muttered, shaking her head and grabbing her bag, "meet me in the girls locker room" she added, scraping her chair back and standing up, striding towards the door.

"Miss Hale-"

She held her up to the teacher as she walked past, shutting him up immediately and shooting him a glare as she exited, hearing Stiles fumble about behind her as he raced to pack up his stuff, making up a bunch of excuses to try and leave before finally settling on "my bowels are about to move really badly, like really really badly, a total full on explosion-"

"You needn't say more Mr Stilinski, just leave"

He caught up with her just as she pushed open the door to the girls locker room, pretty much exactly the same as the boys except fresher and cleaner and dumped his bag on the floor, waiting for her to speak but she just wrung her hands, keeping her back turned.

"Kaylz?"

"...Three centuries is a long time" she started with, not really knowing where else to begin, "it's... forever really. But three centuries with him was... Never ending. It was continuous with no end in sight. People in this world - they last days, sometimes weeks when they're tortured. A select few can last years and eventually they either die being strong or give up. I didn't have that choice. I couldn't die, no matter how many times I wished I could. Every time he... He carved me up... Or burnt me till I was nothing but ash and bone, suddenly I was whole again. Only for him to start all over again. Day in. Day out. Over and over and over again. He liked taking his time though. He was patient. Happy with the entertainment. He liked seeing how loud he could make me scream and if I didn't, if I resisted screaming, or crying he would... He would _punish_ me. Psychologically. Sometimes I think that was the worst part. Not the physical pain for years, not how he cut me apart or broke my bones, but how he got in here" she tapped the side of her head, finally turning around but keeping her eyes locked on the floor, "playing tricks on me. Like... Like the continuous drip of a tap until I tore my hair out. Made me see terrible things... Things from someone's worst nightmare until I gauged my own eyes out to make the visions stop but-but they didn't. He was in my head, twisting it... Destroying it... And the worst thing about everything was how he... How he looked like you. And I had to look into those eyes... Eyes the carbon copy of yours... Eyes I loved as he... As he did unspeakable things"

She felt Stiles unwavering gaze on hers, his breathing increasing slightly in panic and fear, unable to even speak.

"But at the same time some part of me could feel my body - my real body, the one in the ground. I could feel everything. My skin shrivelling and peeling, organs liquefying, bugs burrowing straight through me and... And I was cold" her bottom lip started wobbling, a wave of sadness hitting her square in the chest, "I was so _cold_ and I just... I wanted someone to hold me. To just _hold_ me so I didn't feel so alone. But no one did. No one came. And that helplessness of knowing no one could save you, resounding yourself to the fact that one brief moment, one quick decision, meant you would be damned... Forever. It eats away at you because there is no light at the end of the tunnel. There's darkness and pain. No happiness. No hope. Just misery"

"The nogtiusne's prison is down in the depths of the worst parts of hell. A dimension within a dimension. Existing somewhere just out of reach, and he can... He can manipulate his surroundings. He has power down there, just not enough to ever get out. He can... He can make things come alive, change the energy of the place so it wasn't always a dungeon. Sometimes it was a basement. A tunnel. A vast expanse of nothing. He could tailor make his own personal hell whatever way he pleased"

"And the more time passed, the more I felt it happening. This... This _bitterness_ building inside me. I tried to stop it Stiles, I did. I thought of you, of Lydia, of our friends, how I just wanted Dylan and my dad to be proud of me but he was in my head, poking and twisting until it became _unbearable_. Until every time I thought of you all I felt... Pain. And that pain turned into loathing because why should you all live and I be stuck there with him? That's what I started thinking. And it kept escalating until I hated you all with _every_ fibre of my being. Because I blamed you for my death even though it was my own choice. And when that hate got a hold... It was like poison. Just kept spreading and spreading to every inch of me. But it helped. Being that person made it bearable to be there. It eased the pain and when you're dead and gone and trapped there... Somethings as simple as taking some of the pain felt like heaven. Somewhere that I wanted to be. I wanted to be at peace with my family... With my _daughter_... To finally be resting because I was  exhausted. But it never happened, and I was left slowly turning into someone I didn't even recognise. Someone so full of hate and rage until that was all I felt. And then I woke up" she added simply, feeling, for the first time in a long while, true wholesome tears stinging her eyes, blurring her vision.

"I remember... I remember just lying there, not knowing what had happened. I thought it was another trick. But then I felt my heart beating. My heart Stiles. The one I felt stop when I was in your arms, that very same one started thumping against my chest. But I couldn't move. The ground was so heavy and that sheet was suffocating me. And I thought I was going to die again. I thought I would miss my chance at being alive by being smothered in my own grave. So I dug. I kept digging, choking on the dirt until my hand... My hand, just the tips of my fingers, felt cold air. I felt it so I kept pulling, right out from that grave. And I... I got away. I escaped him. I won. Or I thought I won" she added tearfully, "but I didn't. Because I felt nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing good, nothing bad. Just empty inside. And I sometimes still feel like that. Like there's nothing inside. And then you sticked by me, and suddenly things started crashing down around me. I didn't hate you and look at you like you were the nogitsune, but as someone I... I felt attached to. Someone that made me feel things. Good things. _Happy_ things. And it felt so terrifying because... Because I'm scared that if I let myself feel things, if I let people in, that makes me weak and vulnerable and I'll end up back there. I'll end up in hell again and I don't think I can do it. I can't go back there Stiles, I can't, I _can't-"_

"Hey, shhhhh" he hushed her gently and despite the tears tracing down his speckled face he stepped forward, cupping her wet face and tilting her head up, "you're safe. You're here and you're safe and you never have to go back there"

"You don't _know_ that" she was near hysterics, shaking in his grasp, "what if after everything I've done, _all_ the people I've hurt, my punishment is going back there? What if I don't ever get to feel happiness again?"

He blinked quickly to clear his vision, a deep profound sadness welling up inside him as he realised just how truly broken she was. How her attitude, the things she did, were really just a call for help.

She was spiralling, unable to cope-to compartmentalise everything and she needed stability. She needed reassurance but above all she needed love. She needed to remember and know what that was like to heal herself. She needed a rock and he would be it, no matter how much she needed to lean on him. All the times she had been there for him, each time she had saved him or went to hell to save his life, he owed her everything.

"You... Kayla Jay Ursula Tate Hale..." He pronounced slowly, thumbs stroking away her tears, "you are _loved_ and you are _needed_. You make me so damn happy and I will show you. I'll help you, no mater what it takes. I'll do anything to make you feel happy again. Till the end of the road, remember?"

He watched her expression scrunch up, trying desperately to stop the tears, to reign back in those soul crushing emotions but it was impossible, they were out and she couldn't control them, losing her composure and breaking out into fresh tears-sobs that completely broke Stiles into pieces.

He nodded, a silent show of communication that he would stick by her, sliding his hand into her hair and tugging her forward against his chest, holding her there as she cried, feeling her own arms slide around his back to cling to the back of his shirt.

Last night was amazing that he finally got to be back in the arms of the girl he loved but right now, in this very moment, she opened up, she shared a part of herself that she held so close to her own chest, she let him see just how truly broken she was and being here, just standing with her head buried in his chest and sobs shaking her body, was like he finally had her back.

Their relationship was never about sex but about this unspoken connection and need they both felt for one another, something which he knew had been rebuilt.

He tilted his head a little, lips brushing her ear, "I love you"

She sniffed, tensing a little in his arms at his words but soon relaxed, burying herself closer and soaking up all the warmth and comfort he offered her before nodding, accepting his words, warming up a little inside - his gentleness, his kindness and warmth chasing away her inner demons.

And a nod was fine by him. He didn't need to hear words because he understood. He finally _got_ why she did the things she did and deny the feelings and emotions she was feeling.

He understood and he forgave her.

Because he knew, deep down, past the horrors and pain she did really, truly, love him.

 **A/n) I'm sorry a little shorter but I'm swamped with uni placement and figured something was better than nothing haha you've all been so great recently with your support so pretty please with a cherry on top make a stressed and tired student feel well by leaving your thoughts, so eager to hear what you think about this turning point and Kaylas dark words about what happened, see you soon and thank you once again xxx**


	30. Chapter 30 - Are we a thing?

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any way, shape or form (cries) you all rock so much for the lovely reviews sorry for the wait, life's been really stressful, but I hope you all enjoy X**

She actually kinda missed this. The warmth, the love, the safety and security he just naturally offered. She missed it because she had been so cold and alone for so long that, sure, it still felt strange and unusual but good. Really good. He just had that natural talent at being able to make even the coldest person feel something, that soft gentle aura surrounding him.

Her eyes were still closed, clinging to handfuls of his shirt as she buried her face into his chest, blocking out the painful world just for those few minutes. Letting herself delude that everything was fine. That things were normal – _she_ was normal – that there wasn't a deep chasm ripping her apart, starting to feel so many small things but at the same time feel dauntingly empty, like there was nothing inside – no hope, no love, no nothing. A battle was raging inside her and she didn't know what side was going to win.

He still smelt the same as he did all those months ago – woody and earthy but fresh, and something sweet, like candy or chocolate, his body heat radiating off him in waves and encasing her entire being. This is what she imagined peace felt like. What little glimpses she got before being cast to hell, was exactly like this feeling – warm and loved, craved and wanted, content and safe. This is what Aiden felt. This is what she should've felt.

She tilted her head sideways against his upper chest, keeping her eyes closed as she allowed herself another moment to remember exactly the feelings coursing through her body, finding herself actually _wanting_ to remember it, wanting to remember this precise moment in time so when she felt stone cold she could cast her mind back to this point and know that she was loved – still is, despite everything.

"… Stiles?"

The tips of his fingers stopped tracing the bumps in her spine, stilling on the back of her top before circling the small of her back, a gentle sign of comfort, "yeah?"

The back of her throat ached as she went to open her mouth, still clinging to him desperately, "you're a good guy, I just uh… I hope you know that"

His chest stilled for a moment and she felt his chin brushing the top of her head as he glanced down, holding her that little bit tighter, "I try to be" was all he simply said, not wanting to accept the 'good guy' role – not after everything he had done. But to her, right now, he was the good guy. She saw no one else.

She inhaled in his scent one last time, building up her courage before pulling back, secretly glad he kept his hands wound around her, finding reassurance in a touch so simple.

"Sorry, didn't mean to have a meltdown on you"

"It's alright" he said quietly, keeping one hand on the small of her back so she couldn't step away, reaching up to stroke the pad of his thumb under her eye to swipe away her tears, bare knuckles resting on her cheek as he gazed down at her with so much longing in his stare she had to glance down, her mind already being overwhelmed with so much emotion she didn't know if she could take much more.

"I know you want me to say it back" she muttered, "but I just… I can't. Not yet. Maybe never. Because I don't even really know what it is I'm actually, y'know, feeling"

He slid his knuckles down her cheeks to cup her jaw and make her look up, his whiskey flicked stare filled with nothing but understanding, "I know. I know and I get it. You don't need to say it"

How could she tell him she loved him when still all she felt was a chasm of emptiness eating away at her? And when she did start to feel small things, it was guilt and shame, hurt and bitterness – sometimes happiness, like now. _Now_ she felt happy. But with that came the guilt of knowing she was hurting him, had destroyed him and then the emptiness returned. It was frustrating beyond belief.

She nodded at his reply, pressing her chest against his and tried for a small smile, "but on a lighter note, that sex last night really was amazing. And I mean _out of this world_ amazing" his lips quirked, a proud glint shining in his gaze, "you're definitely not out of practice"

"What can I say? I'm a natural" he joked, "but uh… there's no way you can get, you know, pregnant or anything is there? Because I don't fancy a 'who's the daddy' episode on the Jerry Springer show with like thirty possible candidates"

"No" she chuckled, "I've got an IUD fitted, more reliable than the pill… well, I guess we know all about that huh?"

He looked at her sadly for a moment before looking like a lightbulb went off in his head, grimacing a little like he was starting to feel a little awkward and didn't particularly want to ask this next question.

"And uh, what about um… well… stuff like uh… S… T… I's…." he trailed off, tilting his head to the side, "just, well, I mean, you have slept with a lot of people so…"

She snorted, "chill Stiles, being a seductress has its benefits – one of them being I have an immunity to sexually passed diseases. I only just found that out recently too… though I should've probably guessed that considering I never caught anything off Aiden and the amount of slags he slept with"

"Oh… huh" he added, blinking a little in shock, "heh… that's good then"

"So you can chill. You're not getting herpes or getting me knocked up. We're all good"

His blush faded a little, that gentle loving look returning to his gaze, "thanks Kaylz" and it was so damn nice to hear him call her his nickname for her, her heart swelling a little at the sound of it leaving his lips, "want to come to the station with me? Parrish is on the next part of the list, we need to figure out what he is"

"Sure" she shrugged, "it beats school"

He smiled, much more relaxed but before he could take off and go all detective of the supernatural she grabbed his hand, pulling him back and slamming his back against the lockers, smirking at his surprised expression.

"Slow down a bit Stiles, we've got time" she murmured, fingers toying with the zip on the front of her sleeveless silk shirt, inching it down slowly and a devilish grin worked its way to her lips as he watched him gulp, cheeks starting to flame red, "don't I deserve a reward for being a good girl?"

He choked at her words, eyes widening as the zip reached the middle of her stomach, her cleavage on full display for him to see.

"Y-You mean like a cookie?"

She chuckled, letting the zip open and slipped the silk off her bare shoulders, "how is it you can be a total devil in bed but yet still act like a cute flustered school boy at the sight of boobs?" she smiled at his quirkiness, "and no Stiles, I don't want a cookie. Try thinking of something else beginning with C" she added, stepping forward and letting the tips of her fingers caress his crotch, tugging impatiently on the button and zipper.

"O-Oh right, you uh, you mean my…" he nodded downwards, still blushing but just nodded jerkily, "yeah, we totally have time for that" before pulling her forward into a passionate kiss as she thought, 'wow, for the first time in ages I actually feel… _okay_ '.

* * *

She got a few weird looks as she walked in with Stiles that lunch time, a couple of the deputies actually having to double take but she just smiled sickly sweet back at them but her eyes were fierce and they soon went back to whatever they were doing, avoiding her at all costs.

"Uh…" Parrish noticed their arrival, standing up from his desk but she didn't fail to notice the slight blush painting his cheeks as he took a quick glance at her before refocusing back on Stiles, "your dad will be back within the hour. Do you want to wait in his office?"

"Actually, It's you we want to talk to" Stiles replied seriously and Parrish reeled back a little in shock, casting a nervous glance to her like he thought she told Stiles all about the hot make out and boob grabbing session and just to add to his anxiety (because sometimes she was like a cat, wanting to terrorise the mouse before eating it) she smirked, sending him a not so subtle wink.

"M-Me?" Parrish mumbled, frowning back at Stiles, "what have I done?"

Stiles just rolled his eyes at Parrish's paranoia, "nothing. Relax"

He eyed her up again nervously but nodded, following Stiles into his dad's office but Kayla held back, extending her arm for Parrish to go first and he cocked a brow as he walked past as if to say 'please tell me you didn't tell him anything, you are aware I could be fired don't you?' but she just kept the smile on her face, enjoying his turmoil too much.

She shut the door behind her, nodding to herself as she admired the deputy's ass for a couple of seconds before perching herself on the sheriff's desk, swinging her legs as Stiles stood next to her, clasping his hands in front of him.

"Why do I feel like I'm about to be interrogated?" Parrish asked, trying for a nervous smile, "usually it's me doing the interrogating"

"Depends if you're hiding something" Stiles shrugged, "anything you want to tell us?"

Parrish sighed, suddenly turning pleading as he gazed at Stiles, "I'm sorry, I know I screwed up and you probably want to tell your dad and get me fired but just let me explain-"

"Whoa, slow your roll" Stiles interrupted, holding out his hands to stop Parrish's ramblings, "what are you talking about?"

Parrish seemed to realise he put his foot in things as he put two and two together, realising Stiles wasn't angry or pissed off and she was just messing with his head because he shot her a look which Stiles picked up on, his mouth dropping as he swung around to stare at her with wide eyes.

"Parrish? _PARRISH?_ You did one of my dad's deputies?"

"I would've if he wasn't so concerned with screwing an underage girl. Chill" she added, "we just made out with maximum boob touching"

"You brainwashed me"

"I didn't _brainwash_ you" she rolled her eyes, "I was seducing you which, by the way, you didn't put up much of a fight to"

"What? Seduced?" Parrish asked in confusion, "what are you talking about?"

"Okay, stop-stop" Stiles stood between them, holding out his arms towards them to get them to shut up, "so you _didn't_ have sex?"

"God no" Parrish exclaimed, "no way, I promise. I wouldn't go there. _Ever_. She's seventeen and your… girlfriend?" he guessed a little awkwardly, glancing between the two of them, "if you're back together?"

"Yes"

"No"

They both said that at the same time, both with very different answers.

"What?" Stiles muttered, half in shock and half in hurt, dropping his arms and turning to her, "what do you mean 'no'? what about last night?"

She frowned, "does sex automatically make us a couple?"

"Well, no… but I mean, I thought… I thought we were going to try again?"

"Why do we have to put a label on it?" she questioned, "can't we just be Kayla and Stiles?"

He frowned sadly, "Yeah… yeah I guess so. Sorry, guess I got the wrong impression" he added snarkily, covering up his hurt with sarcasm before turning back to an awkward and out of place Parrish, "so what are you?"

She felt like she just said the wrong thing. See? She was totally starting to get this emotions thing. Kinda.

"What am I?" Parrish muttered, repeating Stiles' question, "I'm a deputy...?"

"I think he means what supernatural creature are you?" Kayla said bluntly, ignoring Stiles' mortified exclamation as if he was saying 'subtly please Kaylz?'

"Excuse me?" Parrish muttered, "what?"

"Uh... I think I'll take over from here" Stiles raised his hand, covering her mouth, "watch and learn Kaylz"

She mumbled against his hand, nodding a little and he smiled, his hurt at her earlier statement appearing to dissolve as he turned back to Parrish, dropping his hand from her mouth and pulling a sheet of paper from his slacks pocket, handing it to the deputy.

"Take a look at this list"

Parrish took the sheet of paper a little nervously, opening it in half and studying all the names on the list.

"Recognise any?"

"Yeah, these were some of the names the sheriff got me to run through the system last night. What does it mean?"

"It's a hit list"

"Because that was _so_ subtle Stiles" she muttered sarcastically, sticking her tongue out at him as he shot her a blunt 'ha-ha' look, turning back to the deputy.

"A hit list?"

"That's not all" Stiles nodded down to the paper, "flip it over"

Parrish did as he was asked, turning over the folded paper to see his name glaring up at him.

"Okay that's slightly terrifying" he mumbled, "why is there a five next to my name?"

"It's how much the Assasin's get paid to kill you" Kayla chipped in, "the clue's kind of in the name 'hit list'"

"What? I'm worth _five_ dollars?" Parrish exclaimed, "that's an insult"

"Honey, no" Kayla shook her head in faux sympathy.

"Try closer to five million"

"Five million? I'm worth Five million dollars?" he exclaimed in shock, dropping his stare to look at his name on the sheet, his pale eyes going wide.

"It's not that much, I'm worth twenty three" she chipped in proudly and Stiles shot her a look, "what? Jus' saying"

"I only make forty thousand a year... Maybe I should just kill myself"

"Maybe you should" Kayla added in bluntly, "the way the economy is at the moment I don't blame you"

"Kaylz..." Stiles muttered disapprovingly, "I thought we agreed to let me do the talking?"

"... Fine" she grumbled, folding her arms as she scooted back on the desk, "but just remember he was totally feeling up my boobs"

Parrish's jaw dropped in mortification, "because you _brainwashed_ me"

She rolled her eyes, "I _seduced_ you, we've been over this deputy. Do you want me to show you how I did it?"

"We literally had sex half an hour ago and you're horny already?" Stiles questioned in exasperation, turning around to face her, "I thought I satisfied you?"

"You did" she nodded, "very much so actually, but that wore off like twenty minutes ago - don't take it personally, it's just the way I'm wired right now"

"You came _three times_ in a row"

"And it just makes me crave sex all the more, especially with you. You're the only one that can do that to me"

Parrish was blushing, looking incredibly more embarrassed the more they talked and cut in to their conversation with a deliberate cough, unable to fully look her in the eye.

"Okay so... What exactly are you?" He asked nervously, "well, both of you considering you're both on the list"

She felt Stiles' shame and nervousness increase at that question, his normal calm demeanour turning skittish as he glanced down, unable to find the words to explain. So she decided to help him out a bit in her normal blunt nature.

"I'm a seductress. I seduce people. I love sex. Oh, and I died" she added, "hence why you never saw me for two months. I was a rotting corpse. And he was formally possessed by an ancient Japanese spirit. I think that about sums it up"

Parrish's jaw continued to drop further and further until he was gaping at them and she could see Stiles' lips turn inward as he raised his eyebrows at her, total exasperation covering his features.

"Excuse me?" Parrish spluttered, "w-what? How? Huh?"

"It's pretty simple really deputy"

"Kaylz, babe, sweetie-" Stiles reached out to touch her arm, "-please stop talking"

She rolled her eyes playfully, smirking as she saw Parrish pale in shock, staring between the two like they were both off their nut - which, to be fair, they probably were.

"Are you serious right now?"

"Deadly" Stiles replied, "it's a supernatural hit list and you're on it which means, well... It means you're something"

Parrish continued to gape, looking on the verge of fainting, "so you're both... Supernatural creatures?"

Kayla just shrugged passively as Stiles shook his head, "no I'm not. Not anymore. I'm better - kind of. It's complicated" obviously not wanting to get into the specifics of things, still uncomfortable with the idea that the nogitsune's darkness was still inside him, "so what are you?"

Parrish's eyes widened dramatically, "I-I don't know. Nothing"

"Well clearly that ain't true" Kayla smirked, nodding down to the paper he was still holding, "your nose is getting longer pinnocio"

"I honestly have no idea what any of you are talking about" Parrish shook his head quickly, "I promise"

Stiles frowned, analysing the deputy's expression before turning to Kayla, "you know Kaylz. I think he's telling the truth. He has no idea, well, either that or he's an Oscar worthy actor"

She sighed but nodded in agreement, "yeah I think you're right"

Stiles blinked in shock, looking mildly surprised she was agreeing with him without their usual cute bickerings, "w-what? Really?"

"Yeah he has no idea what's going on, he's totally clueless"

"Uh... Thanks?" Parrish mumbled, "I think"

"Great, now that's been explained-"

"Explained?" Parrish cut Stiles off loudly, "you just dropped the bombshell that supernatural creatures still exist and that my sheriff's son and his girlfriend are them"

"I'm _technically_ not supernatural"

"I'm not his girlfriend"

Parrish's gaze swivelled between the two of them, still seeming overwhelmed by all this information, "does the sheriff know?"

They both nodded, "yeah he's been clued in for a while now"

"This is... Completely crazy" Parrish mumbled, "but at the same time kind of cool"

"Okay, great, have you had enough time to process because we really kinda need you to do us a favour"

"Favour? What kind of favour?"

"Lydia needs to speak to Meredith in Eichen house" Stiles explained, "she might be able to crack the other part of the list"

"Lydia..." Parrish hummed in thought, "so is she really a psychic?"

"No" Kayla scoffed, "she's a banshee"

"Oh" he mumbled, expression slack before he eventually nodded, "okay because why not?"

"Meet us at Eichen after school, flash them your badge or something, just anything to get us in - do you think you can manage that?"

"Uh... I can try"

"Good. Great. Spectacular" Stiles rambled, clapping his hands together in a very final way, "welcome to the scoobie gang and by the way-" he stepped forward, quirking a brow at a still very shaken but very amazed Parrish, "-no more making out with my girlfriend and definitely no more touching her boobs or else I really will tell my dad and get your ass fired, comprende?"

"Uh..." Parrish gulped nervously, paling a little, "sure. Absolutely. No problem at all"

Kayla smirked at his over protectiveness, following him out the office but not before smiling at Parrish as she walked past, sending him a flirty wink just to mess with his head even more because, okay, it was kinda fun. Fine, a lot of fun. She was trying to tone down the murder and torture, this was her only source of entertainment.

Stiles took her hand as they walked out, interlocking their fingers and squeezing her palm and she just glanced down, flexing her fingers uncomfortably in his gentle grasp.

"Uh... Do we have to do the whole holding hand thing?" She asked as Stiles held the door open for her as they exited outside, "I mean it's kinda bleh"

"It's not bleh" he disagreed, "it's cute. We're cute" he sent her a small smile.

"It's suffocating" she stated blandly, "I would much rather your hand be on my ass instead"

He chuckled but realised she wasn't entirely comfortable with the whole 'affection' thing, especially out in public so dropped her hand but not before stroking her knuckles with his thumb, sending her a small smile as they both climbed into his jeep but he didn't start up the engine - instead he sighed heavily, a small frown indenting between his brows.

"Kaylz..." Uh oh, she sensed his serious tone, "what you said back there, to Parrish... Did you really mean that?"

"What did I say to Parrish?" She wondered, not really understanding what she said that could warrant this level of seriousness.

"About not being my girlfriend" he elaborated, studying her expression as realisation dawned on it, "I'm not trying to rush things I just thought that... I thought after last night, after everything, that we could be, you know, us again. A couple. Girlfriend-boyfriend. Not just... Sex buddies"

"Is that what you would want?" She asked, trying to grasp what emotions he was putting across, trying to understand why he wanted that label so badly.

"Well yeah" he shrugged, "I want you to be my girlfriend again"

"Do you trust me?" She whispered, "do you trust me enough to believe that I won't hurt you?"

He glanced down at his lap, "it's complicated, I get that, but... But now I can safely say that I... I do trust you. I don't think you'll go behind my back and sleep with anyone" he looked at her once again, his soft brown eyes portraying nothing but gentleness, "do you want to be with me?"

"... I don't know" she mumbled helplessly, "last month I was dead and now I'm back and things are moving too quickly and I can't keep up. I don't know what I want" she added as he smiled sadly but she noticed his bottom lip wobbling.

And she just did it. She just hurt him.

"But... With what little I feel... I know I want you" feeling a streak of happiness soar through her as his eyes lit up, "because I... I like you - there, I said it" she rushed out, "heartless, emotionless me has a soft spot for you. But I don't know if I can do the couple thing again when I can't be the person you need, it would be selfish. So can we just... Keep it causal? Normal? Just for a little bit?"

He saw her soft side me that gentle nature she tried to keep covered. For once she wasn't thinking what was best for her or her ulterior motives, she was looking out for him and his feelings.

He smiled, reaching forward to cup her cheek and pull her closer to him, unable to tear his gaze away from her vulnerable stare.

"As long as I got you we can be whatever you want to be" he whispered, stroking her cheek bone with his thumb, "you be Kayla and I'll be be Stiles, and we can figure out us later. There's no rush. I'll wait, for months, years if I have to"

"Shut up" she mumbled, looking down as she felt overcome with emotion at his words but he just chuckled, warm breath fanning over her face as he tilted her head back up.

"Sorry" he laughed, "too cheesy?"

"A little" she agreed, "but it's fine, I love your cheese"

He paused at her words, eyes widening slightly as she suddenly realised what she said, stomach dropping and cheeks flushing a light pink but he never brought it up, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. So he just simply kissed her forward, sending her a wink before starting up the engine and reversing from the parking lot, not failing to notice her gentle smile as she watched him.

 **A/n) life is hectic I'm sorry and my head hasn't been working great recently, like mentally, just been really down and low and no motivation haha but I hope you liked, I kinda liked this chapter, shows Kayla becoming more Kayla and more of the season four storyline hahai hope you all liked and please please review they mean the world and I need all the inspiration I can get right now lol see ya soon peeps X**


	31. Chapter 31 - Haunted

**Disclaimer: teen wolf is not mine - seriously you guys all wonderful, you inspire me so much and I want to apologise for the week waits and shorter chapters, it's just all I can really do at the moment so I'm sorry, but a massive and thankful shoutout to xnathiagrey, save, linda96, EllieDragon, Ooo, hope, xJenzaFreakx, TheMysteriousPerson -0-'-0, BeccaSco and zvc56 for reviewing I love you all, hope you enjoy this next instalment X**

There was a first time for everything, she guessed - Kayla Hale not knowing what she wanted. Unsure. Sitting on the fence. She was just confused, trying to figure out what was the best option. On one hand, she was fond of Stiles. Okay, very fond of Stiles. Plus he was great, amazing, in bed and she admired that very much, hell she would quite happily jump his bones right now and ride him for the rest of the day, she had no qualms about that, but on the other hand a part of her was desperate for fun, parties, alcohol, sex, even the anger she had about everything she knew could be fixed by taking it out on some poor bastard because it would make her feel better. So although, sure, she was softer, more understanding, she still had such bitterness and rage and, for the most part, completely unsympathetic and unemphathetic it was just the way she was wired right now, not understanding completely the range emotions she was, or should be, feeling.

Wow, how messed up was she?

The answer to that was completely and utterly messed up beyond belief. But that was already kind of obvious, wasn't it?

But on the way back his jeep broke down, coughing and spluttering and smoking grey clouds from the engine which made Stiles pull onto the sidewalk at the side of the road, sighing loudly.

"Been happening a lot lately, huh?" She asked, already leaning forward to reach under the dash to hand him the roll of duct tape that was slowly but surely getting smaller.

"Yeah, piece of junk is giving up on me" he smirked, hopping out the jeep and although he always moaned and groaned about his 'piece of crap' jeep failing on him, she knew he was still fond of it, attached to it even, like a piece of his mom was always with him.

She chuckled, about to jump out to help him but when she pulled her hand back from the dash she felt a stinging on the pad of her finger and pulled it back, inspecting the paper cut slice that was already beginning to well with blood.

"Ow" she muttered to herself, bringing it to her mouth to suck on to soothe as she noticed what she cut herself on. A single piece of ratty paper that was crumpled and torn up, flimsy bits of sellotape holding the page together.

She had a sinking feeling in her stomach, her heart rate picking up as she leaned forward and picked it up, recognising her familiar scrawl etched onto the paper, still readable despite how badly it had been ripped up. She remembered doing it all those weeks ago, remembered Stiles showing it to her with those big brown eyes of his as he pleaded with her to be reasonable, to not leave him, to accept emotions and she had been brutal and ruthless and destroyed the heartfelt letter in front of him, completely tearing him apart.

Yet he took the time to patch the page back up, meticulously making sure all the words matched up so he could read it over and over again whenever he pleased, keeping it within arms reach whenever he needed the reminder that what they had was always so good, so pure, and that one day they could get back to that.

How fucking sweet.

He really was a softie, more sensitive than people gave him credit for. Especially when it came to love.

Her lips quirked a little at his thoughtfulness, finding herself tracing her writing as she read over the words she had written all those months ago, sitting at Stiles' desk as she wore her heart on her sleeve as their lives went to shit. She left that letter because apart of her knew she wasn't going to make it out alive and she wanted Stiles to have something she left, something explaining why she did the things she did and why she loved him so much, something that might bring at least some comfort to him.

She felt content knowing that it had, to a certain extent. She didn't fully understand why, but just knowing it had was enough for her at this moment in time.

She carefully placed the page back where it belonged, her usual frosty exterior warming up a little as she stepped out from the jeep, not even bothering closing the door as she strode right up to Stiles who was head first in the bonnet, tugging him up by the copllar of his checked shirt and smirking at his bamboozled and slightly fearful stare at the sudden movement before crashing her lips to his roughly, stepping closer so he was pinned between the jeep and herself, hand carefully threading through the hair at the nape of his neck.

He was like a drug to her at this moment and she was unable to get enough of him, wanting to feel every inch of his body against hers, finding herself getting giddy at the intense feelings of love and want coursing through his body.

He wasn't like everyone else. He wasn't like Isaac who just screwed her because of his confused, fucked up feelings, he wasn't Donnovan who fucked her because he got off on using people, he was just Stiles. And she liked 'just Stiles' just fine. Probably more than she was ever aware of.

She playfully sucked on his bottom lip before pulling back, keeping her lips parted as she soaked up the feel of him, bathing in his warmth before dropping to the balls of her feet, untangling her fingers from his gelled hair.

"Uh..." He smiled, cheeks flushed as he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, "what was that for?"

She shrugged, "no reason. Just felt like I wanted to do it"

He chuckled, leaning forward to brush his lips against her hairline, "you're totally welcome to do that _whenever_ you please, total green light"

"Well in that case..." She smirked deviously, tilting her head to the side, "let's not go back to school just yet" his eyebrows shot high into his forehead, eyes widening adorably, "your house?"

He pursed his lips in consideration, not needing much time to make his mind up, "totally. Like right now, let's go" dramatically pointing back towards the jeep and about to get in before stumbling, forgetting to pull back down the bonnet so tripped back over in a rush, making her chuckle to herself at his enthusiasm, slipping into the jeep gracefully as his adorable self, all flushed and sweaty, basically jumped in right next to her.

"Someone's eager" She teased playfully, her eyes sly and suggestive.

"I'm a teenager plus a guy, my hormones are always just-" he waved his hands about frantically before starting up the engine, "-and being with you is like, wow, you know? _Sooo_ totally amazing"

"Good, I'm glad" she flashed a wide smile as the engine rumbled to life, "put your foot on it" she advised, smirking as he did as she asked and shot onto the road, taking a left to redirect them back to his house and skidded onto his driveway, haphazardly parking the jeep all squint.

They were making out before they even got through the front door, her frantic fingers working on the buttons of his shirt and yanking it free from his arms, throwing it on the floor as he tugged her top off, the material getting stuck on the banister as they tried to make it up the stairs without falling over, limbs getting tangled as they broke apart for a second so Stiles could pull his tee over his head and discard it on the stairs, his hands sliding down her body to tug her shorts off, clothes being torn off and thrown in a trail all the way to his bedroom, blindly stumbling through the open door before she used her strength to push him on the bed, Stiles flailing and landing on his back as he peered up at her with surprised eyes as she made a show of sliding her underwear down her legs, playfully kicking them away to the side and crawling onto the bed, smirking at his amazed stare.

"We only had sex an hour ago and you're horny already?" She quoted his words from earlier perfectly, hands pinning themselves on his chest as she swivelled her hips against his, making him gasp.

"You're terrible" he stuttered out playfully, "I'm sure you're a god damn she devil"

She laughed breathlessly, bringing her bottom lip between her teeth, "you're right, I am" she retaliated with an exhilarated smirk, leaning forward slightly to slide her palms along his bare arms before wrapping them around his wrists, pinning him to the bed and leaving him to her mercy.

His gaze flickered upwards, glancing at the position of her hands before quirking his lips up at her, "we still have those silk ties if you wanna tie me up?"

Her eyes dazzled, "now there's an idea Loverboy"

And that was when the sheriff wished he never decided to pop home for his lunch break, immediately faltering when he opened the front door and loud moans, groans and a banging headboard assaulted his ears, his face promptly screwing up.

"You know what-" he muttered to himself, shaking his head as he saw the trail of discarded clothes leading upstairs, "-I don't want to know. I just _don't_ want to know" flailing his hands out in a very final committed way before backtracking straight out the way he came in, deciding it was best he didn't ask questions.

Kayla's entire body clenched up as she threw her head back, letting herself bathe in the ecstasy filled bliss she was in for those few seconds, sitting atop an exhausted and sweaty Stiles before rolling off him to the side, gasping back some much needed air after that strenuous little workout session.

"Holy god" she whispered, twisting her head to the side to peer over at him, "all that without the use of your hands" she added in mesmerised shock, " _how?"_

He chuckled at her question, seeming quite relaxed tied up next to her, not making a move to squirm out of his restraints, "like you said - I'm not out of practice"

"Maybe it's you that's supposed to be the seductress because _damnnnn_ " she trailed off, slowly shaking her head as she tried to get more 'with it', "and don't get cocky about it" she warned with a laugh, recognising that familiar proud smile tugging at his lips.

"Too late" he winked, "it's something to be insanely proud of. If I could have it as my senior quote I would"

She twisted around, kissing his damp chest, "sure Stiles"

"I'm serious!"

She laughed, "come on" she urged, standing up and stretching, "I want a shower"

"W-what? Wait-wait" he called out to her retreating naked figure and she glanced over her shoulder, trying not too smile too wide at his struggling, "untie me please?"

She shook her head, "nah, if you want it bad enough you'll get yourself out" she teased playfully, chuckling as his jaw dropped, like he couldn't believe she had the nerve to leave him tied up naked on the bed when they could be having shower sex right about now, deliberately quirking her hip out a little which forced his eyes downwards to settle on her ass, "just a little incentive for you" and walked away laughing to herself as he shouted through to her, "you're one evil woman let me tell you, but trust me babe, once I get out of these things I'll make you pay, trust me on that"

And she couldn't wait for that moment, she really couldn't.

* * *

"We managed to sweet talk Parrish for you" Kayla snapped Lydia's locker shut, forcing the redhead to Juno back in surprise, Kira flashing her an awkward smile, "you can go to Eichen house later school and speak to Meredith"

Lydia glanced between her and Stiles curiously, "and by sweet talk you mean..."

Kayla frowned in confusion, quirking a brow, "we told him about the supernatural-"

"You what?"

"-and about the list and now he's more than happy to help" she shrugged, "no biggie"

"S-Sure, no biggie" Kira repeated, "what if he tells?"

"He won't" Stiles cut in, shaking his head, "and I doubt my dad would let him either"

Lydia pursed her lips thoughtfully, obviously weighing up the negatives and positives in her head and just as Kayla was about to point out that she wasn't in charge of this situation and they really didn't need her input, they got her into Eichen, who cares how, but before Kayla could snap something at her Lydia just nodded, not putting up a fight.

"Perfect, thank you"

"No probs"

They all fell silent, Kira and Lydia sharing a look with one another and it was blatantly obvious they didn't quite know what to say to her, probably worried that she would snap their necks if they said something that pissed off - and sure, although that was possible she thought she was doing amazingly well with her self control at the moment, giving herself a methophorical pat on the back.

"Wow guys, invigorating conversation, really" she murmured sarcastically, "you're boring me to death. Again" she added, "in fact being dead was more exciting than this"

Lydia flinched a little but noticed her damp hair still drying, raising her brows in wondering before taking in Stiles' equally flushed experience, his hair still wet and sticking up on end.

"Why were you taking a shower in the middle of the day Kay?" Lydia asked, a teasing edge to her voice.

Stiles coughed uncomfortably, dipping his head as he scratched the back of his neck that had flared a light pink as he realised how obvious what they had been doing was but Kayla just shrugged, "because apparently turning up to social situations covered in cum isn't acceptable"

Stiles choked, turning to stare at her with wide eyes, the blatant message being ' _really? You just went and blurted that out?'_ but she just quirked a brow right back at him, "what? You were the one that wanted your senior quote to be about how great you are at getting me off without the use of your hands due to them being tied up-"

He slapped a hand over her mouth, quickly shaking his head at her, " _shhhh_ "

Lydia snorted, Kira giving them an awkward laugh but looked amused none the less, "I'm surprised you both even bothered turning back up at school"

"Now that's dedication" Stiles added, only dropping his hand when he was at least half sure no more inappropriate things would leave her mouth, "and uh Kaylz?" He asked, nudging her arm with his elbow and nodding down to the corridor to where Jane was knocking on coach's office door, "your aunt's here"

She glanced around Kira's slight figure, pursing her lips as she sensed Janes' nervousness from here, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot as she cradled her ever growing baby bump, waiting for the door to open.

"Guess she's finally plucked up the courage to speak to her baby daddy" she observed, "took her long enough"

"Yeah that's still weird" Kira noted, "coach is a dad. I don't get it"

"He jacked off into a pot" she explained bluntly, "then it was shoved up Jane's hoo-ha, not really that complicated"

"I think what Kira was meaning was she can't get her head around the fact that coach is going to be a dad" Stiles explained, "we all know about the birds and the bees Kaylz"

"Technically it was artificial insemination but sure" watching the door open and a very nervous coach open the door only to immediately pale when he saw Jane there, "now this is going to be interesting" she smiled giddily as coach eventually sidestepped to let Jane in, "wanna eavesdrop?"

Kira glanced around nervously, not wanting to get caught but both Stiles and Lydia's eyes lit up because this - this was an opportunity they couldn't let pass.

* * *

"Uh... Hi" Jane murmured, tucking some freshly dyed light brown hair behind her ears, immediately losing her confidence as she saw coach Finstock - Bobby - pale at her sudden appearance at the school, his eyes widening as he deliberately looked anywhere bar her baby bump, "I um... I think we need to talk"

The man gulped, sweat building on his forehead as he tried to open his mouth to speak but nothing came out, just helpless little squeaks before he finally decided to sidestep and let her in, realising he was probably making a scene.

Jane pursed her lips as she entered, one hand inching around her growing baby bump as she felt a few little light flutters from his kicks, like her little one knew he was around his daddy, and placed her bag on his desk, swivelling around to face her.

"I'm sorry for just dropping by out of the blue, I know it's probably a shock but I'm aware Kayla let slip about our little, uh, situation, and after I never heard from you I got... Curious" she said carefully, trying to catch the coach's stare but he wasn't looking at her, gazing around the room as he kept a good few feet distance between them, "Bobby right?"

"Coach" he immediately corrected, "though I suppose if you really must you could call me that"

He was beyond nervous - he looked terrified. And she sympathised, she really did, but this needed sorted out and sorted out now. She was seven months pregnant with his baby whether he wanted to believe it and accept it or not.

"Then Bobby I'll go with" she perched herself at the edge of his desk, taking some of the weight off her aching feet, "it's nice to meet you"

"Uh..." He swiped at his forehead, "you too. But not really. I'm busy at the moment so-"

"This won't take long" Jane interrupted, "for days I've thought about coming to see you but kept putting it off, and then you never made any contact so I guess I'm just... Confused" she explained, "I know you didn't want this, especially so close to home, but I need to know whether you want to be apart of this baby's life or not" he whipped his head up in panic, his eyes comically wide, "it's fine if you don't. I resounded myself to the idea of being a single mom but when I found out it was you, that the father of my baby teaches my niece in school, well, I thought you deserved a say"

The coach - Bobby - continued to stare her out like she was some kind of extraterrestrial being, unable to speak.

"... So do you want a say?" She continued, "or are you wanting to continue pretending to be completely oblivious to the fact you're a father?"

"... I need a drink" he murmured to himself, throwing himself into one of the seats opposite her and placing his head in his hands, "this isn't a dream?"

She shook her head, "afraid not"

He sighed loudly, peeking up at her from between his fingers, "I don't understand"

"Understand what?" She asked softly, well aware this was a delicate situation and she needed to remain calm and collected despite wanting to hit him upside the head and scream at him to get his god damn act together.

"How this happened" he pointed at her bump, keeping well back like she was an infectious disease, "they never told me when I deposited my stuff that it would be used for that. I'm a victim in all of this"

She rolled her eyes, "okay, sure. Guess I got my answer" she was heavily pregnant and quickly losing patience, pushing herself off the desk and sending him a glare, "you've had your chance. When this baby is born don't come running to my door wanting a second chance 'coach'" she mocked, preparing to stride out of that office with her head held high but faltered as her baby kicked her in the ribs and in surprise, she let out a small wince, palm reassuringly stroking the bump to ease her baby.

But she sensed Bobby watching this, his curious eyes but terrified eyes latched onto her movements and peeked over at him, meeting his wide fearful eyes.

"Do you want... Would you like to..." She turned to him, shrugging a single shoulder, "feel him kicking?"

Coach gulped loudly, swiping the sweat away from his forehead, "h-him?" He choked out, looking ready to keel over unconscious.

"Uh huh" she nodded, "my twenty week scan showed it was a boy"

He was starting to panic, muscles tense and wound up as he continued to stare at her and just when Jane thought she broke him, sending him into a meltdown, he nodded jittery but didn't make a move towards her - in fact, she was sure he didn't even realise he did it.

So she stepped forward slowly, watching his expression for any signs of uncomfortableness as she reached down and gingerly took his hand, slowly guiding it upwards to rest on the side of her bump and immediately, less than half a second after his touch, did a series of strong kicks hit his palm and he jumped back in shock, ripping his hand away.

"What in the holy god was that?"

She chuckled at his reaction, "our baby"

One eyebrow quirked up higher than the other, his expression twisted into shock and disgust, "are you sure that thing is even human?"

"Pretty sure" she reassured, reaching down for his clammy hand again and placing it back on her bump, "I know it's a weird feeling but it's good when they kick, it's a sign that he's a healthy baby"

He still looked like he wanted to tear his hand away, far too nervous to cope with all this in one day but never the less stayed still and sucked it up, feeling the flutters beneath his touch.

"I'm due in a couple of months" she whispered, "so you have some time to think things over, get to know me, whatever, if you want to... Be a dad" she said simply, "if not that's fine just don't sit on the fence. Tabby's dad was a waste of space, never knowing what he wanted, dropping in and out whenever it suited him and I don't want this for this baby, okay?"

Coach gulped again, sweating buckets, "if it's money you want I could-"

"I don't care about the money" she explained, "what I care about is this baby either having a good father or none at all. If you want to be... Then you can"

Coach pulled his hand back, beginning to gnaw nervously on his thumb nail, "I uh... I guess we could, uh, sort you know, something out. I think. Most probably"

Jane smiled, reaching out to cup his cheek and tilt his head up to meet her gentle stare, "that sounds perfect. Thank you-" she paused, about to call him coach but thought how in personal that was, calling the father of her baby the same thing the school kids did, giving him a gentle smile, "-thank you Bobby"

And maybe, just maybe, this could be the start of something amazing.

* * *

"So the tween has gone missing huh? Why am I not surprised?" She sighed, crossing her arms as Scott just raised his eyebrows at her lack of concern, "newbies" she rolled her eyes, "always getting themselves in trouble"

"Kaylz..." Stiles paused, briefly closing his eyes in exasperation, "maybe try and show a little y'know, worry?"

"Why? It'll be wasted cos' he's probably already dead" she said bluntly with a shrug.

"He's not dead" Scott stated, "I would know"

She just sighed indifferently, "then save the wee pup, why are you talking to us about it?"

Stiles just stared at Scott and placed his hands on his hips as if to say 'I promise, we are making progress'.

"Because I... I might need your help" Scott admitted, "if Garrett goes back on his word or tries to get out of this deal, then I'll need some backup"

"Wow" she let out a long whistle, "big bad alpha wanting some extra muscle"

"I'm not taking any chances, not with Liam" Scott stated, "and you have the ability to uh..." He paused thoughtfully, trying to find the right words.

"Do things without remorse?" She questioned, a knowing smirk pulling at her lips.

"Exactly" Scott agreed, "so you in or out?"

She wasn't particularly thrilled with spending her evening saving a short, pissed off little runt when she could be drinking, smoking some weed, maybe even tying Stiles up again and screwing his brains out but apparently this sitution was more important. She didn't really understand why but Stiles was nodding at her, letting her know that saying yes to Scott was the right, selfless desision.

She was already bored of being selfless, what a _drag_.

"Fine. Sure. Whatever. Count me in" she sighed, "I _have_ missed killing people"

"There'll be no killing people" Scott said immediately, "but thank you, it means a lot. Meet me after school?"

She inclined her head into a nod, both Scott and Stiles looking immensely relieved she seemed to be willing to help and Scott reached out to touch her arm in a warm thankful way before slapping Stiles' shoulder and taking off, worry still apparent and coursing through his veins.

"Just uh... Be careful" Stiles hiked his backpack further up his shoulder, leaning sideways on the lockers to peer at her, "these Assasin's are dangerous. If Garrett turns on you and Scott... Do what you gotta do"

"Trust me-" she winked, "-I will. I can handle myself" letting her irises flash a fluorescent green, "you don't have to worry about me"

"I always worry about you" he smiled gently, reaching forward to tuck some streaked short blonde hair behind her ear, ignoring the weird looks they got in return because what an earth would be happening between Kayla Hale and Stiles Stilinski? Wasn't he heartbroken and she turned into a total slut? What the hell was going on? That was basically going through their heads but they both ignored the whispers, totally focused on one another.

"I'll be fine. You wanna come round to mine tonight?" She cocked her head to the side.

His lips quirked as he tried to repress a laugh, "I thought you were wanting to keep things strictly casual"

"I do" she slapped his chest playfully, "but if you want me to retract that offer then-"

He cut her off with his mouth against hers, his body reverbrating with chuckles as he slowly kissed her, lips moulding boldly against hers until she was breathless and lightheaded, totally overwhelmed by how just a simple touch by him was enough to render her totally and completely in his mercy.

"I'll be there" he promised, carefully pulling back and smirking.

And he just made her feel so warm, so at ease, she didn't even feel out of place being soft.

It was only when he left to attend his last couple of classes she felt a cold shiver run up her spine, a horrible sinking feeling pulling at her stomach. She hated this feeling, having got it from time to time recently, not knowing what it meant.

Kayla gulped down her nervousness, slowly spinning around on the spot to glance down the corridor, the achey intense coiling in her stomach tightening as she felt herself spacing out, her heart beat picking up.

Maybe she was losing her god damn mind, that was possible.

She tried to shake it off, to ignore that sudden daunting feeling but it only increased until it became nearly unbearable, the little short hairs on her body rising.

It just reminded her so much of when she first died, when she was trapped feeling so cold and so alone that she always got fearful of suddenly getting dragged back down to hell even though she knew, rationally, it was impossible. She only ended up there because of the nogitusne, because he cursed her before he died. She stepped in front of that sword because if anyone other than her killed him Stiles would die and she couldn't have that. That was why she was cursed, because she chose to die instead of Stiles. She knew there was no way she could end up back there, she had escaped. She got out. She got a second chance. But that fear, that paranoid worry was continuing to soar through her, now more than ever. The softer she became, the more she worried.

"Get a grip Hale, it's nothing" she shook herself, untensing her muscles but the more she tried to relax, the less it worked and she gulped, stomach sinking.

But she was sure she kept hearing her name being chanted, almost indistinguishable but she knew it wasn't in her head. She wasn't imagining this, she couldn't be.

She squinted, seeing a blurry figure down the end of the corridor, stepping forward curiously trying to see what it was but before she could get any further, the blurry smokey image began to soar forward, dissipating through her and she hunched forward as the feeling of ice froze her insides.

She didn't know what was going on but she was certain of one thing - it was like she was being haunted. Someone - or something - not too thrilled with her being back.

 **A/N) okay a little longer haha sorry for the wait lol but I hope you all enjoyed and I would so very much enjoy your feedback it means a lot lol and I shall see you soon ha x**


	32. Chapter 32 - Home

**Disclaimer: teen wolf does not belong to me in any way, shape or form, (cries) anyways thanks so much for the patience and the reviews, it really means the world to me you have no idea and makes me feel all happy and giddy, so I hope you enjoy this next instalment :)**

"Are you sure you don't want me to just kill the runt? It would only take two seconds"

Scott rolled his eyes, glancing behind her from the passenger seat, "no Kayla, we've been over this. No killing - remember what we agreed?" He promoted which made her huff in annoyance, casting a suspicious and angered glance to the back of Garrett's head, desperate to just reach forward and take a hold of his neck, snapping it so forcefully it would rest at a 180 degree angle. She could taste the satisfaction she knew she would feel and having that enjoyment ripped away from her did not put her in the best of moods.

"What _you_ agreed" she corrected, crossing her arms in front of her, "I never promised anything"

"Then try" he gently prompted, "not everything has to be resolved by killing"

"Sure it does. Not only is it extremely fun, it also saves a lot of time"

"She does have a point you know" Garrett pointed out and Scott just threw him a dirty look before glancing between them in exasperation, like he couldn't understand why he was stuck in a car with two ruthless murderers that not only wanted to kill everyone in sight but also each other, the tension hanging thickly over them.

Garrett would kill her for the money, for the $23 million but she would kill him just because she could because let's face it, that stupid asshat definitely deserved it.

"A deal's a deal" Scott reminded Garrett, "we free Violet, you tell me where Liam is"

Garrett didn't nod, just simply gave Scott a sly look and Kayla knew people like this - the type of people that went back on their word, taking advantage of the kindness of people. This is exactly what Garrett would do and even though she was semi evil even she wouldn't go back on her word, not on a promise - why do you think she was here trying to stay in control and help save a newbie werewolf? Because she made a promise to Stiles, not because she wanted to play miss goody two shoes.

Before Garrett could say anything Kayla had leant forward and grabbed his seatbelt, wrapping it around his neck and pulling tightly, causing him to jerk the wheel and the car to swerve.

"Don't. Play. _Us_ " she warned, the belt so tight around his scrawny neck he started choking, his fists loosening around the wheel that Scott had to quickly lean forward and grab it to keep them on the road, "you're a pathetic, egocentric little human and we can end your puny life in one split second if you put a single foot wrong, are we clear?"

He couldn't reply, cheeks turning a bright red as he tried to flail, his feet unintentionally slamming downwards so they jolted then accelerated quickly but she didn't care, just tightened the seatbelt even more to get her point across.

Because no one screwed her over.

"I _said_ -" she reiterated with a deliberate aggressive tone, throwing Scott a warning glare as he opened his mouth to say something to her, "-are we clear?"

The car they were in was hitting near a hundred miles per hour, both boys panic surging through the small space as Garrett just let out a loud choking noise, quickly trying to nod his head.

"Kayla, _stop_ " Scott demanded, an edge of nervousness beneath his tone, "he agreed - let him go"

She could, she supposed. Let him go that was. She could be the good guy and let him live but how badly she wanted to watch him die, to choke on his own last breath and fade away in pain and terror. She couldn't help she still got a thrill out of it, knowing she wouldn't feel remorse over someone so worthless.

The temptation was there, the craving to kill him but before she could Scott had bravely let go of the wheel, wrapping his hand around her forearm tightly and let his eyes flash red.

"I said _stop_ " he demanded, a rough growl in his voice and she just let her eyes flash back that luminous green, letting him know exactly who was in charge here and he was not going to tell her what to do, yanking her arm away from him but let go of the belt, calmly pushing herself back and crossing her arms once she got her point across, turning her gaze out the window.

Garrett scrambled to gain control of the car, rubbing at his red raw throat as he glared at her through the rear view mirror, "I should've tried to kill you when I had the chance"

"Oh sweetie-" she mocked, "-a pathetic lost soul like yourself wouldn't have a chance in hell at laying one single finger on me. You're punching above your weight"

Before Garrett could retaliate, Scott shouted at him to stop the car, a kind of frenzied urgency in his voice and she noticed why - his dad's SUV was flipped over in the middle of the road, debris and shattered glass spread across the tar.

Huh, looks like someone beat them to the punch - clearly little bitch Assasin's were also on someone's hit list.

Well good, someone ought to give them a taste of their own medicine. Payback was a bitch.

She was the last to get out, not all that panicked as she hung back, watching Scott try to rouse his dad before talking to an injured sheriff and for a second, just a second, she actually felt pity for the older man, the one she used to look up to as a father. The one she could talk to about her problems because he actually listened and advised her, reminding her so much of her father - the one she grew up with, not Peter - that sometimes she thought Stiles forgets how lucky he is to have him in his life.

She didn't know where that underlining sudden panic came from for the sheriff, she had only really felt that concern and emotion for Stiles but seeing him there, all bloody and scared, made a surge of protectiveness corse through her, her hackles raising as she heard him say to Scott that "they were still here... They're still here"

She didn't know who ' _they_ ' were but she immediately straightened up, glancing around as she faintly picked up on the sound of clattering bones and heavy footsteps, a devilish smirk playing on her lips - she had killed one of these things back in Mexico, she could do it again no problem.

Which was why she stayed back, watching in something close to amusement as Garrett swiped his deadly lacrosse stick through the air, turning towards the berserker and egging it on on, failing to notice another creature coming up behind him.

She could tell him, she supposed. She had plenty time to warn him of the danger, standing next to his car she had the perfect view but she didn't want to - as simple as that. She also know she should protect him as he was the only one that knew the whereabouts of the newbie werewolf but again, she just didn't want to. If she wasn't allowed to kill Garrett then she would just have to get her entertainment from someone else doing the deed.

Which she did. Immensely. There was nothing like watching some dickhead getting skewered through the chest with a two foot long claw. Ahhh, good times.

She folded her arms casually, holding back her chuckle and leaning causally against the exterior of the car, watching Scott race forward to try and defend himself but ended up being pushed harshly forward, falling flat on his face, a sharp boned claw disappearing into his torso.

Okay, _that_ wasn't supposed to happen.

"Hey, bonehead" drawing the creatures attention away from a hyperventilating sheriff, Scott having long since passed out, "try picking on someone your own size"

The Berserker on the left let out a low throaty growl, stepping towards her and the one on the right followed suit, moving slowly as if to intimidate her but she just smirked, cocking her head to the side as she waited.

"Kid, run" the sheriff shouted to her, his voice weak and croaky but she ignored his concern, too focused on the impending kills to bother with his anxiety and worry, her fists clenching at her sides.

"Your Kate's little bitches" she observed, "seems she never got my message from when I already slaughtered one of your kind, tut tut" she shook her head, mocking them as they continued to creep forward, now within arms reach, "maybe I should refresh it for her"

So she did. _Oh boy_ , she did. She had been good lately - okay, _semi_ good. She did as Stiles wished because some part of her didn't want to hurt him but she wasn't one of the good guys. Not really. She was still selfish and ruthless, brutal and uncaring. She wasn't the Kayla they knew, she was the Kayla that pulled herself from her own grave. They didn't know her anymore, not really.

A thick arm came hurtling towards her, sharp boned claws inching towards her throat but she just simply ducked, bringing her own arm back and ploughing it straight forward into one of the berserkers stomachs' sending it reeling backwards and nearly knocking it off its feet, doing a powerful spin kick so her foot clipped the other one of the side of its masked face so it fell backwards a few steps, grunting in response.

She was strong, energy cackling through her veins, pure unrelenting power that she was a force to be reckoned with and it seemed they sensed this too, holding back from moving towards her once again.

"Yeah, thought as much" she muttered, letting her eyes flash green, "so kill each other" she instructed, her voice compelling and dripping with power that they really did have no choice but to obey her thought they put up some fight, slowly turning towards each other.

"I _said_ -" she reiterated angrily, her voice causing the wind around them to pick up, "-kill each other" charming whatever brains or instincts fuelled them to act, compelling them to do exactly as she asked and watched as they both surged forwards, bone armour clattering and breaking as they roared and sliced at each other until they both dissolved into ash.

Maybe compulsion was the work of the devil, something inhumane and too controlling but it came in useful and, to be quite frank, she wasn't concerned with how terrible her powers were, probably leading her back down a dark and slippery path but she didn't really care all that much. She know she should, she could just imagine Stiles' disappointed expression at her but just didn't acknowledge it, pushing it to the back of her head.

"G-Get Scott out of here" Sheriff called out, grunting in pain as he tried to pull himself free from the vehicle, "I've called for backup. It would be best if you weren't found at another crime scene"

She stepped forward, vaguely hearing the sounds of sirens in the distance, "are you protecting me Sheriff?"

He groaned again, gasping as he tried to sit up, blood running freely down the side of his face, "you're still apart of the family kiddo"

She frowned, "I don't have family. Not really"

He held his arm to his chest, still gasping back pained heavy breaths, "I know you and Stiles are together now" because although it was disturbing to hear his son having sex, it just symbolised that he was working hard (oh god, really, no pun intended) to get Kayla back and that meant there was still some good inside her - if Stiles could see it, then he would trust him and see it too, "and regardless if that happened or not, you would still be in this family. That's how much you mean to us"

She was touched, her heart warming a little at his words. It seemed the Stilinski's just had a way with words - must be a genetic thing.

Before she could open her mouth, not even sure what she was going to say, the sheriff quickly pointed to an unconscious Scott as the noise of the wailing sirens became louder, "go, take Scott and go, I've got your back"

She had kind of forgotten how humans worked and ticked, not really understanding their blind faith and care but was being over loaded with words and behaviours to analyse and process since she got back, slowly incorporating her damaged self back into a normal functioning society - years of being in hell made being back in this world insanely confusing, especially how those she was once closest too acted. Their optimism, their hurt, their love, their betrayal. But she felt she was finally understanding it a little bit better.

Just like Stiles, the sheriff was attached to her just in a different, more paternal way. He wanted to protect her, choosing to look past her bad and see her good, however little there was. Humans - what funny, complicated creatures they were.

She inclined her head into a nod, striding forward to pick up an unconscious Scott, the boned claw still lodged in his torso as blood dropped down onto the Tarmac but he didn't even wince, normal tan skin as pale as a ghost.

"Scott? Hey, Scott?" her arm was around his waist, holding his weight as she not so gently slapped his cheek to try and rouse him but he didn't wake, dragging him back to the car and as carefully as she could manoeuvred him into the front seat, accidentally knocking the bone buried in his stomach and he had the nerve to let out a pained groan in his unconscious state and she just threw him a dirty look.

"I'm the one saving your ass, show a little thanks eh?"

He never replied, slumping sideways as she slammed the door shut and jogged around to the drivers side, slipping in and immediately starting up the engine and for a brief moment felt guilty leaving the sheriff there - she didn't know why but she did, it was a weird feeling, but pushed it back and hit reverse, skidding away from the scene just as extra backup arrived from the sheriff's station but she and Scott were already far away.

"You better not die on me just yet" she spoke to him despite knowing he couldn't hear her, subconsciously driving towards the animal clinic like she just knew that was where Scott was most likely to get the best help, "cos' if you die then everyone will just blame me and it'll be a shit storm. Kayla you should've done this-blah-why didn't you-blah blah blah so just uh... Hang in there, yeah?" Awkwardly patting his thigh but there was still no response so she sped faster towards the clinic and in her haste almost ran through the wall but braked abruptly, stalking around to the passenger side and guided Scott's arm around her shoulder to walk him into the clinic, shouting for Deaton.

"What happened?" He said quickly, helping her lay Scott on the silver examination table and found herself stilling, unable to stop the flashes as she imagined that it was her dead body there, all bloody and bruised and cold. She didn't remember it, wasn't aware of what happened after she felt herself slipping in Stiles' arms but could imagine it perfectly and it was... Daunting. It made her feel not right, only further emphasising to her how wrong it was for her to be back.

Did it feel good? Sure, of course, no one wants to be in hell, but it was also unnatural and made her feel defective and flawed.

The dead were supposed to stay dead and she knew if she was her usual self, prior to everything that happened, she wouldn't want to come back. She wouldn't take that risk that she could, well, turn into the monster she had. Only she didn't get a say and here she was, sort of hating herself.

"We need to get it out" Deaton broke her from her overthinking, drawing her back to the present with an alarming bang.

"Why? Is it poisonous?"

"Not that I'm aware of, but it won't be a pleasant feeling" leaning over to Scott to check his vitals, Scott gasped and jolted away, his eyes wide and terrified.

"And now he wakes, _wow_ " she murmured dryly, "you couldn't have done that like ten minutes ago so I would be have to lug your heavy ass around?"

They both ignored her, Deaton helping an injured Scott stand.

"I was hoping you would be out for a few more minutes - this is going to hurt"

"No shit Sherlock" she added in, "usually any form of being impaled usually is"

Scott was breathing heavily and deeply, sweat running down his face as he nodded at Deaton, letting him know it was okay to go ahead, that no matter the pain it caused he wouldn't blame him, and she watched as Deaton reassuringly gripped his shoulder, the other hand wrapped around the end of the sharp bone as he pulled, the squelching of blood and Scott's agonised yell rung in her ears.

"Lucky you heal, huh?" She said, half snarkily-half bitterly, watching his wound slowly beginning to heal over. Others weren't so lucky. Other people just felt that torturous, crippling, white hot pain and then died. Scott was more lucky that he thought.

He glanced over at her, touching the drying blood and just as he went to open his mouth, the jingle of bells alerted them to another persons entrance and they each glanced up curiously, wondering who - or what - would interrupt at such a late hour.

"I heard what happened" Chris strode in, gun in hand, "they're Kate's Berserkers"

"We know" Scott rushed out, "where's my dad? And the sheriff?" He glanced around, desperately looking for answers before his gaze settled on her, "did you just leave them out there?" His tone accusatory and disappointed.

"They were _fine_ " she stated blandly, "you on the other hand, not so much. So I made a decision and if you don't like it, tough luck" she shrugged, "at least you're still alive to be pissed at me"

She knew the logical part of him recognised that but the irrational worried, caring teenager was annoyed and perplexed by her lack of empathy. Though, being heartless did cut out all this pathetic worrying about making a hard decision - she supposed that was a plus.

"You shouldn't have left them there!" He exclaimed, "what the hell?" and she hated that tone, the one that richeous people had to make people like her feel bad. And it was working.

"Scott, your dad's fine" Chris reassured, "the sheriff too. They're at the hospital" he finished with, glancing over at her and this was the first time she had laid eyes on the older Argent since just after Allison had died, his pale observant gaze unnerving her right to the root.

"What?" She bit out in annoyance, "not used to people coming back from the dead?"

Because he was looking at her like he couldn't quite get his head around it - maybe wishing that it wasn't her that came back to life but his daughter instead.

"You put another foot wrong, I'll put you back in the ground"

"Yeah yeah, _whatever_ " she rolled her eyes, "remind me again not to help out if this is the kind of backlash I get. Next time-" she glared at Scott, "-ask someone else in your _precious_ pack to do your bidding because, apparently, my 'ability to do things without remorse' doesn't live up to your goody two shoes standards" she swept forward, "I'm out of here" not wanting to admit how bad his words actually hurt - physically and emotionally. She thought she did the right thing and now all she was getting was judgement. Well fuck them.

"Kayla wait-"

"Go to hell" she shouted to Scott as she passed him, her look vile enough to strip skin from bone, "just shows you where trying to do the right thing gets you"

"Kay-"

"Tell Stiles I'm done" she knew she was acting irrationally but she honestly thought she was doing the right thing, she thought she acted the right way but apparently not. It was too confusing, too hard. She did the wrong thing, they got pissed and belittled her, threatening to put her down like some rabid stray dog and if she tried to do right, to be nice for a change, they still got pissed. Like they were **_soooo_** much better than her.

"Kayla wait-" but he bravely rushed after her, grabbing her arm but she shrugged him off, pushing him back a couple of steps.

" _No_ " her eyes flashed an angry luminous green, "I mean it. No more nice Kayla" she glanced past him to Chris, "maybe you'll still get your chance to try and kill me" leaving them on edge and frantic about what she would do when stormed her way from the clinic, knowing that anyone that got on the wrong side of her would end up paying the price.

* * *

"You _what?!"_

"I know" Scott sighed, "I feel really bad about it but I tried to apologise and she just took off. She was pissed at me and I felt that if I went after her, she really would kill me"

"So let's just hope she doesn't kill anyone else" he grumbled, knowing his annoyance at Scott was misplaced but he couldn't help it - Kayla was like an atomic bomb at the moment, the slightest of stressors enough to set her off. Plus he really was getting somewhere with her, making progress, actually kind of being a couple and now he had no idea where she was, let alone who or what she was doing.

He said he had faith in her, that he trusted her now, and he did but there was still that doubt in the back of his head, that niggling voice that told him because she was mad and heartless which was never going to be a good combination, she would do something reckless without thinking or feeling which would hurt them both.

That wondering was the worst.

"Stiles, I'm sorry"

"I know bud, don't worry about it" he clapped Scott's arm, not wanting his best friend to be stressed about this when his beta was in trouble, "just focus on Liam right now, he needs you"

Scott still looked guilty but nodded just as Stiles excused himself from the animal clinic out to the still night air, pulling his phone from his pocket and immediately speed dialling Kayla but she never picked up, the line going straight to voicemail.

"Hey, it's me" he greeted after that obnoxious beep sounded, "uh... Just checking in. I know you and Scott kinda had a spat but uh... I don't want you to take it the wrong way. He was just upset and you are doing so so well at turning your life around. You did do the right thing. My dad said he told you to go, he was trying to protect you and you helped save Scott. When you first came back you wouldn't have done that. Proof that you're changing so uh... Please don't do anything stupid. Please?" He was pretty much begging by this point, frustrated that he had just got her back and now he had no idea where the hell she was, "I love you, call me back please"

But while he was worrying and fretting over her, unable to rest as his mind raced she was doing exactly what she had been craving for days - drinking, dancing, snorting lines of cocaine as she tried to shake the annoyance and vulnerability she was feeling, insecurities floating to the surface - that she was constantly unable to do anything right and the only thing she was good at was ruining lives and partying. _Hard_. Just like the good old days.

So she did exactly that. Partied and forgot her problems, throwing back tequila shots like Capri sun, dancing and grinding with random strangers but couldn't bring herself to do anything with them - no kissing, no groping, just touching.

She was feeling out of sorts. Confused even. Her brain completely muddled.

It was a fucking _horrible_ feeling.

So she got off her face to distract herself and it did work - well, _was_ working until she recognised two familiar faces through the crowd and everything came crashing down around her.

"I really don't want to be here" Isaac groaned as his brother dragged him through the dancing crowd at some random club, "I can't even _get_ drunk, remember?"

"Yeah but I can" Camden hollered over the blaring music, having a firm grip of Isaac's sleeve so he couldn't escape like he wanted to, "come on bro, live a little and be pleased we didn't even have to use that fake ID I got you - must be the height thing"

Isaac rolled his eyes, sighing loudly as they finally reached the bar and sat down on a couple of the wooden stools, "my friends need me"

Camden shouted something about two shots to the bartender before twisting around to face him, his eyebrow quirking, "you mean the one's that are still talking to you"

Ouch - that hurt.

He frowned in response, "it's only Stiles that isn't talking to me"

"Well you did fuck his girlfriend in his dad's jail cell none the less, I wouldn't talk to you either"

Isaac blanched, "I _knew_ I shouldn't have told you about that"

"Well you did" Camden smirked, nodding a quick thanks to the bartender who deposited their shots in front of them and slid Isaac's towards him, "drink up bro, cool that burn"

Having his brother back was great but also highly annoying, that sibling rivalry still just as strong as it was when they were younger and screwed his face up in distaste at Camden but reached out and took the shot, wincing at the bitter burn destroying his oesophagus but knew it would do nothing for him, his werewolf metabolism destroying the alcohol before it could settle in his system.

"The only thing I don't miss about being a werewolf is this" Camden pointed towards his empty glass, ordering another two shots, "I so missed getting drunk"

"Idiot" Isaac grumbled as he pushed back another shot his brother offered him which made Camden roll his eyes before downing that one too, inhaling sharply as his eyes watered.

"Why exactly do you want your little brother at a bar with you?" Isaac asked, "I'm not going to be your wingman"

"I took you here to loosen you up" Camden explained, deciding to order two beers and just sent Isaac a look as he passed him the brown bottle as if to say 'take it, or else', "ever since breaking up with Paige and that whole Kayla incident you've been a grump"

"I have not"

"You _so_ have" Camden slapped his back, "so try having some fun for a change"

"I don't deserve to"

Camden exhaled slowly, leaning towards his brother to shout over the loud music, "stop beating yourself up over this. You never cheated - not really. Paige had already called it a day with you and Kayla well..." He shrugged simply, "It's not a big deal. You lost your virginity to your best friend, trust me, it could've been worse. You could've got chlamydia. Or someone knocked up. Or been a total disaster in the sack and never lived it down. It's no big deal"

"You say it's not a big deal but it is. Paige isn't speaking to me, I've fallen out with Kayla, Stiles hates me... This entire thing is a mess. This whole situation should have never happened, I was just upset over everything and mom's death and-are you even listening to me?" he cut himself off, sending his brother an annoyed look as he seemed to be paying more attention to something in the dancing crowd than Isaac pouring his heart out.

"No" Camden said bluntly, raising a hand to point in front of him, "because speak of the devil"

Isaac, too, glanced forward, squinting as he tried to see what his brother meant but immediately knew when he clapped eyes on Kayla dancing in the middle of the crowd, bare legs on show in those tight little shorts she always wore, see through black mesh top hugging her torso so her dark blue bra was on show, pretty much grabbing the attention of everyone around her.

" _Damn_ " Camden murmured in appreciation, "you were lucky to get that"

Isaac blushed, "oh shut up"

"I'm serious" his brother chuckled, "if she's anything like Laura then you _definitely_ got something special"

"Okay ew" Isaac screwed his face up, "I don't want to hear about your past sex life"

"Tough luck" Camden shrugged, "but it seems us Lahey's always have a soft spot for the Hales, huh?"

"Yeah..." He watched Kayla move, his eyes glued to her figure, "seems so"

Camden watched this, analysing his expression and reached out to take the bottle of beer from his slack grip, jolting Isaac back to the present.

"Go talk to her" he encouraged, "make up"

"I can't. I'm still mad at her" Isaac explained glumly, "and she might look like Kayla, speak like her but she's not her. Not when she's emotionless. She's just a really good carbon copy"

"But can you really blame her for being this way?" Camden asked, "heaven and hell is a concept I never really believed in but where she was..." Isaac could see a shiver run through his body, "I can only imagine. And if the only way she can cope with all that pain and hurt is to keep those emotions at bay, isn't that better than not having her at all?"

He supposed it was, in a way. But he had to think of what Kayla would want - the real Kayla, his best friend Kayla. He knew her like the back of her hand and knew she wouldn't want to be this person, she would rather have stayed dead.

But he just simply shrugged, a small smile playing on his lips as she danced so sexily yet carefree he had to admire her freeness, "I don't know. All I know is I... I want my best friend back. For real. I don't want to hate her. I don't want to want her in a way I know I shouldn't. I just... Want things to be how they were before she died. Before things got... Complicated"

"Then get over her properly this time"

"I am"

"Are you?" Camden asked disbelievingly.

"Yes" Isaac stated stubbornly, ".. For the most part" ignoring Camden's smug smirk, "because I still want Paige back, I like her... A lot"

"Then fight for her" Camden encouraged, slapping his back, "stop giving up. Prove to her it's her you want, not Kayla. Seems the poor girl already has an inferiority complex to the seductress, she probably just needs some reassurance"

"You think?"

"Man, you really don't know anything about girls, do you? How the hell did you manage to bag yourself a fuck, let alone one from a sex creature?"

Isaac blushed again, "oh my god, stop"

"Okay, okay" Camden threw his hands up, laughing to himself at his little brother's discomfort, "but just one more question"

"Will it make you shut up about it?"

"Maybe - like fifty-fifty"

"Then fine" Isaac groaned, "ask away"

"I saw this film about some chic who has teeth in her vagina and when she doesn't get satisfied they just chomp down on the guy's dick until it falls off-"

"Is this going anywhere Cam?"

"-stick with it. And seductresses like getting satisfied right? Well that would be the perfect punishment for someone lacking talent so basically what I'm asking is-"

"No, Kayla does not have teeth in her vagina" he cut his crude-minded brother off before he finished his sentence, "and out of everything you could've asked, you asked _that?"_

"Fine, I take it back. One more"

"Oh my god" he muttered in modification, dipping his head in exasperation.

"Exactly how good was she? And I'm talking like 'makes you blow your load in under two minutes' good' or like she has a magical pussy?"

"I hate you so much Camden"

"It's a legitimate question" his brother defended, "I mean, all girls are damn fine and usually any vagina does the trick, but seductresses must have something a little extra, something special?"

"I don't know, she was my only time remember?"

"You've masturbated it, compare it to that"

"You're disturbing you know that?"

"Bro..."

"Jeez, if it'll get you to shut up" Isaac muttered, "then yes, seductresses have something special about them, something addicting. It's like they know exactly what you want and how you like it. Plus their scents are alluring. I don't really know what else I can say about it"

"You're one lucky bastard little brother, lemme tell you that right now" and Isaac rolled his eyes, "maybe I should try my chances" and Isaac didn't know if he was serious or joking just to wind him up - anything was possible with Camden.

"I severely hope you're joking because you are not hooking up with my friend, especially a friend I've had sex with, let alone the cousin of your previous girlfriend and, oh yeah, Stiles will kill you. Trust me, he gets angry. Plus he still has the power of the nogitsune instead him. Don't piss him off"

"Relax bro and take a joke" Camden laughed before wincing, "and uh oh, looks like we've been caught"

He quickly jerked his head up, seeing Kayla looking over at them with the same expression of shock on her face before she straightened up, moving straight towards them.

"Just stay cool" Camden advised, "and relax, you look constipated"

If it was acceptable to kill your brother, Isaac would've done it a long time ago.

"Hey" Kayla said blandly, her words slightly slurred from the amount of alcohol she had consumed, "didn't expect the Lahey with a stick up his ass to come here" obviously referring to him and despite his annoyance and hatred for her he had to snort at her bluntness.

"I uh... Got dragged here against my will"

She didn't do anything with his answer, just leaned forward over the bar to order herself more shots but the bartender asked her for her ID and instead of flashing the fake one Isaac knew she had, she simply let her eyes flash green and compelled him into believing he did all the checks and she was over the age of 21.

"So frigging cool" Camden exclaimed, "wish I could do that"

Isaac threw his brother a warning glare to shut up but Kayla just chuckled in amusement, lounging casually back against the wooden bar and smirking playfully at the older Lahey.

"Right - human-hood not suiting you?"

"It's tolerable" Camden shrugged, "how's being undead working for you?"

"It's tolerable" she repeated his phrase, only breaking eye contact with him to down her shirt before going right back to smiling at him and Isaac glanced between the two quickly, suddenly very much feeling like a third wheel.

"No, no, no, no, no" he rambled, standing up off the stool to come between them, "stop with the eye sex - Camden, she's seventeen-"

"So? I was seventeen once too"

"-and Kay... You have Stiles" he reminded her gently, "whatever made you feel like you have to come here and get some kind of satisfaction is just a set back"

She rolled her eyes, pushing him back into his stool, "Isaac? Shut up" she advised, "stop interfering and go back to either hating me or loving me, your indecision is giving me a headache"

He didn't know what to say to that, gaping as he watched his friend step in front of his brother between his parted legs on the stool just as she said, "there's no more nice Kayla. Being nice gets you no where, so..." reaching into her pocket and pulling out a small bag of pills, "care to join me?"

She wasn't talking to him, instead focusing on Camden and Isaac watched in shock as Camden nodded and took a small pill, unable to really stop them as they swallowed whatever the hell kind of drug Kayla had got her hands on and all he could think about was how he would explain this to an already angry and pissed off Stiles.

He would definitely hate him even more, that's for sure.

"Okay great, you found yourself a drug buddy Kay but-"

He didn't get any further, his jaw nearly hitting the ground as he saw Kayla swoop forward and capture his brother's lips in a searing kiss, threading her fingers through his dark blonde hair and instead of pushing him away (which Camden would never do, he was a player) his hands crept up from her legs over her ass to settle on her waist, tugging her further forward and kissing her right back.

Okay, ew, disgusting, no, no, no, this should not be happening.

"Really?" He exclaimed loudly, "my brother? My friend? Have you both lost your mind?"

Neither answered, too busy making out and just as he was about to forcefully pull Kayla away and sling her over his shoulder she managed to separate herself from a flustered Camden, stepping back and instead of acting cocky or playful Isaac saw this shamed look crossing her features though she did hide it well except it was her eyes that gave it away - it was always her eyes.

"Uh..." She murmured, carefully wiping at her bottom lip as she glanced between the two of them - the one she fucked, the other one she made out with - hating herself that little bit more as her immediate reaction to any difficult situation was to throw herself into the arms of someone or a bottle of drink, even a bag of pills. She thought that meant she was being independent and strong, but no, she realised now that was her being hurt and consumed by indecision, teetering on the brink of emotion.

"Excuse me" she muttered, backtracking from the club and immediately through herself into the cool night air, guilt and shame eating her away from the inside out.

She didn't even need to be aware of who she was calling, the only person she ever wanted and needed in her life, sliding down the brick wall outside as tears stung her vision.

God, she was such a mess. She was a pathetic mess - why would he even still want her?

"Kaylz?" His familiar voice made her smile faintly despite the agony of the crippling negative emotions tearing her apart, "you okay?"

"Yeah... Yeah..." No, no she wasn't but she wanted to be, she didn't want to be this person who felt empty and only felt things by drinking or hooking up with people, she was much better than all that, "I just... I want to go home"

She didn't even really have a home. She wasn't settled enough to have one but to her, right now, he was her home. She wanted to be with him, craved to be near him. She had messed up so badly that she desperately needed his warmth and comfort, his familiar arms to cradle her.

She could sense his relief from the other end of the line, "tell me where you are and I'll pick you up - are you sure you're okay?"

No, not really, but she wanted to be. And maybe, just maybe, one day she would be.

 **A/n) a long chapter to make it up to you all lovely people even though I have to be up in five hours to travel two hours then do a eight hour shift, fun times haha but it was addicting to write this and I loved it so I hope you all did too and I would really love to hear your thoughts, pretty please with a cherry on top and see you real soon, love you, peace out X**


	33. Chapter 33 - Tension

**Disclaimer; teen wolf is not mine folks - here we go, another chapter, reviews have been dwindling a little but still thank you for all the support, it means a lot :) also, this features rough hate sex, just a warning ha**

Sitting slumped against a brick wall in the back alley of some questionable club half out her face from a mixture of drugs and strong alcohol was not exactly the highlight of her life since coming back. In fact it was pretty rock bottom, especially once she realised she was full out sobbing on the phone to Stiles as he drove to pick her up, totally and completely incoherent as he tried to gently calm her down. It didn't really work - not much anyway. Which was why she hung up, sniffling back more tears as she tried to pull herself together because this was _not_ the person she was wanting to be.

She was a total and complete utter mess - there was really no other words for it. What right did she have breaking down like this? None. Absolutely none. Yet here she was, acting pathetic as she waited for the guy that loved her, God knows how, to come pick her up, coming to her beck and call yet again.

"Hale?" She heard someone ask carefully and glanced up through her tears, seeing Isaac standing to the side hesitantly as he watched her, an indecisive and concerned look etched across his face, "you okay?"

"Dandy" she muttered, "just dandy" and although she tried to laugh, to brush it off, all that came out was more broken sobs and she couldn't stop them - it was like a floodgate had been blown wide open, sending waves of emotions crashing upon her and she didn't know why, didn't know what triggered it. All she did was kiss someone. Why did it have this effect on her?

"Uh..." Isaac murmured, stepping closer to her and leaning against the wall, looking like he was going to reach down to comfort her but stopped, arms falling awkwardly to his sides, "what's wrong?"

The annoying thing was she didn't know. She had no clue what so ever. Couldn't pinpoint what triggered this little episode let alone what she was crying over. Guilt? Could be. Despair? More than likely. Shame? Most probably. Helplessness? Why not. It was too much all at once and she couldn't decipher the specifics, leaving her like this - a complete mess.

Isaac looked a little alarmed at her hysterics, instead choosing to slide down the wall next to her and shyly pat her bare thigh as if to say 'there there' and her mind was too chaotic to scoff and roll her eyes at his awkward behaviour but did find his presence somewhat reassuring.

"I would offer you a drink to calm down but I think you've already had too much" he continued, trying to put a lighthearted spin on things, obviously not really knowing how to deal with her like this, "you smell like a brewery"

She sniffed again, wiping away the snot and tears with her hands, most probably smudging her makeup all down her face but didn't care, just wanting to get rid of the evidence of her weakness. Maybe it was the alcohol. Or the drugs. Could've easily had been a faulty batch. Or maybe she was just making excuses. No, that was nonsense. Definitely the drugs. _Had_ to be.

"I'm f-fine" she stated but her tone was flat, highlighting how very 'unfine' she actually was.

"No you're not" Isaac shook his head slowly, "want to talk about it?"

"Stop being nice to me" she whispered, tilting her head against the wall to peer over at him, "I don't deserve your niceness. You should hate me"

"Maybe you don't deserve it" Isaac agreed, "but you're getting it regardless because you're my friend"

"I ruined you" she murmured wobbly, "not just in these past few weeks, I mean before that" he frowned in confusion, not following her train of thought, "when you started liking me... I should've stopped it. I should've told you and stuck to what I said. But I didn't and you got confused because I was messing with your head. I'm... I'm sorry" she apologised, "and now I've ruined you and Paige for some stupid two minute fuck"

"It's not your fault. Not entirely anyway" Isaac amended, "you were straight with me. I knew you would never leave Stiles for me. I knew it but didn't listen to what my head was telling me. And as for the sex thing..." He paused, shrugging a single shoulder, "it doesn't have to be a big deal"

"I was selfish then" she admitted, "I didn't fuck you because I cared about you - I fucked you because you were a distraction, nothing more. I used you... I used your soft spots against you - me" she added helplessly, "and in doing so I ruined your chances with someone that you actually... You actually _love_ " she added upon further reading Isaac, picking up on his subtle cues and emotions pulsating around his aura, "you love Paige"

His eyebrows shot up high onto his forehead, a startled expression twisting his features as he stared across at her.

"What? I do?"

"Yeah, you do" she nodded, "so let yourself feel it and then you'll realise... What you feel for me... _Pales_ in comparison to that. To loving someone that actually deserves you"

He was more shocked at her empathy, at her patience and understanding that anything else because the Kayla he knew, the one that returned from the dead, was not like this at all. She was hurtful and selfish, unsympathetic and brutal - and he understood why. He didn't like it but he got it, except now she was so not like that at all.

To say it was confusing would be an understatement.

"Kay..."

He didn't know what he was going to say, he was totally and completely speechless to the point where he couldn't even speak if he wanted to, his throat closing up. Maybe he was using Kayla as an excuse to not move out of his comfort zone and take risks because she had always been his safe option. The friend that he knew would never be with him the way he wanted but he kept liking her because, although it hurt him, it was a hurt he could handle. Loving someone else and giving them his heart and soul, was terrifying.

And Kayla was right. He did like Paige.

He _did_ love her.

He went to open his mouth, to try and say something, anything, but before he could she leaned sideways, placing her head on his shoulder just like old times and he involuntarily clenched up.

"T'red..." She slurred, "but I'm still... Real sorry"

He wished he believed her fully. He wished he didn't have this doubt in her niggling away in the back of his head, but he just didn't trust her. Not entirely. Not after everything. Tomorrow she could be acting completely different, maybe going back to killing and dismissing any feelings what so ever.

But she was still his best friend. That spot would always be reserved for her.

And just as he was prepared to sit there all night if he had to, not wanting to disturb her he saw a flash of bright headlights and heard the crunch of tires over gravel and squinted as a vehicle pulled up in front of them, squeezing into the twisted back alley's and he wasn't too sure who it was until the door slammed shut so viciously he knew only one person could possess that much hatred at the sight of him.

"Crap" he murmured under his breath, glancing up guiltily as Stiles glowered at him, "uh... Hey"

It was a feeble attempt to extend an olive branch - an olive branch that Stiles had broken into a million tiny pieces judging by the angered look on his face, his mouth twisted into a thin line.

They had barely spoken two words to each other since what had happened, and when they had it was Stiles tearing chunks out of him - Isaac doubted that now was the time they would become best buddies, in fact Isaac didn't see that happening any time soon.

"Kayla called me" Stiles stated in a hard voice, "she failed to mention she had _company_ "

"Oh... Uh... I'm not her company. I just uh... Ran into her" Stiles' glare intensified at that terrible excuse, looking ready to start throwing punches, "she was upset, I couldn't not do anything. She's my friend"

Stiles scoffed darkly, "friend? Go around fucking all your fiends do you?"

Okay, he deserved that.

"Well no... Not usually" he added guiltily, gently trying to nudge Kayla, "Kay, Stiles is here for you"

But she was pretty out of it and borderline passed out, twisting her head further into his shoulder to block out the intruding noises which just made Stiles even more pissed off, his nostrils flaring.

"Uh... Okay, I'll just go" he mumbled, carefully pushing her up off his shoulder so he could stand, "take care of her"

"I will, unlike you I don't go around having sex with people when they're not in their right mind"

He knew he deserved Stiles' anger but that was a low blow - insinuating he somehow took advantage of her when that wasn't the case. She may be unfeeling but she has capacity to make her own decisions, that he was sure about.

"Don't you dare" he turned on Stiles, "don't suggest I took advantage of her"

"Funny how you've had this weird hard on for her for the last year and as soon as she has absolutely _zero_ inhibitions you get right in there"

"That wasn't how it happened"

"Oh really?" Stiles scoffed, crossing his arms stubbornly in front of him, "then how did it happen? _Please_ , enlighten me"

Isaac did get angry real quick, that was how he was. He could go from 0-100 in the space of a few seconds and was getting fed up with Stiles' bitterness. He was feeling excluded and guilty, just like how he felt when his dad was alive. He just needed things to go back to how they were, the scenario where they were all friends, was that too much to ask?

" _Fine_ " he shouted, stepping forward to tower over him, "it was two people not wanting to have to think for a while. A distraction. At least I _actually_ care for her, what about all those other people she screwed? They don't care about her, they just used her. You should hear the stuff they say Stiles... It's not nice. It's pretty fucking horrible actually but she is still my best friend and I would _never_ use her in that way. What happened was a mistake, even she admits that... Why can't you just let it go?"

Stiles paused and compared to the anger once brewing in his stare, there was now just intense disappointment simmering there as he tried to keep his emotions under control.

"Let it go?" He repeated slowly, looking at Isaac like he had two heads, "let it go? Are you nuts? I can't just _let it go_ , not yet. I wish I could. God, I _wish_ I could just forget about everything but I can't. It's not that damn simple. You just don't _get it_ Isaac. If you loved someone as much as I love her... If you even felt a fraction of what I felt for her and you found out that person you loved had had sex with one of your friends and that friend just went through with it, not caring enough about their friendship to realise how fucked up it is, then you would understand why I can't just let it go. Not yet" he shook his head, "all those other people she slept with... They mean nothing to me. I don't _know_ them. But now I have to look at you and picture in my head you screwing my girlfriend every single _second_ I have to lay eyes on you. It's nauseating. It makes me feel sick to my stomach that you betrayed me because I actually started to trust you. That's a mistake I won't make again"

Isaac recoiled a little at that explanation, shoulders slumping downwards as this terrible guilt welled up inside, realising that whatever excuses or explanations he came up with Stiles wouldn't accept them. He couldn't because Isaac had betrayed that fragile and growing trust - no, he had completely _destroyed_ it.

"I messed up" Isaac admitted, "big time. And I'm... I'm sorry"

"A little too late for sorry Isaac" Stiles shook his head, "and it's not just you I'm pissed at. It's her too. A part of me hates her for what she's done but it's... It's different. She's different. She's been through hell and I understand the need to act out, but you... You knew _exactly_ what you were doing and I'm happy Paige dumped your ass because at least you know, even a little, what true heartbreak feels like. That's my consolation prize"

He knew Stiles could be bitter and cruel, self centred and vengeful, but this took the crown.

"Well you got your wish. I am heartbroken... In more ways than you can imagine"

Stiles' eyes narrowed, his gaze still full of fury, "stay away from her Isaac. _Far_ away. Or so help me god you will regret it, are we clear?"

He didn't want this. He just wanted them to all be friends again, why couldn't they just resolve their issues and move on? Why the bitterness?

"Careful Stiles, you're slipping into your controlling, possessive ways yet again and we both know Kayla hates that side of you"

"How about you mind your own god damn business?" Stiles spat, "this is none of your concern"

"How about you both shut up?" a confused and bleary voice murmured and they both swivelled their heads to the side to see Kayla struggling to stand up, clawing at the wall to keep herself steady as she tried to stabilise herself, "just stop with the... The _thing_ you keep doing to each other to hurt one another. Just stop okay?"

Stiles gulped, watching her rub her eyes to clear her vision, "you doing okay Kaylz?"

"You gotta stop this. So what, you both fucked me - it's the 21st century" she continued, "sex doesn't have to be a big deal anymore and it certainly shouldn't ruin friendships"

"Well, it has" Stiles shrugged, "so now that's been settled, get in the jeep"

Despite being half out of it she frowned, totally displeased, and glanced sideways at Isaac as if to say 'there has to be something that will work' but Isaac just shrugged back feebly, not knowing what to do and that little interaction pushed Stiles over the edge until all he could see was red. He didn't like them talking, planning or even looking at one another - maybe that was his own insecurities screaming at him but he couldn't help it. He just didn't want them even on the same _hemisphere_ , that's how screwed up his thinking was.

He scoffed, stepping forward and grabbing her wrist, "let's go"

But she squirmed from his tight grip, yanking back her hand, "I shouldn't have called you"

"But you _did_ " he stated in exasperation, "so don't make this a wasted trip and get in the damn jeep"

Isaac looked as if he was about to snap something at Stiles for his attitude but soon snapped his jaw back shut when Stiles sent him a withering glare full of warning to mind his own damn business.

"... It was selfish to call you"

" _Great_ , you've some degree of awareness at what a selfish bitch you've been - _fab_ " he commented dryly, "but that's not helping us get in the jeep and leave this sorry excuse of a place"

She blinked hard once. Then twice. Studying him.

"Fine" she whispered, giving in and slouching past him and he just rolled his eyes, not even sparing Isaac another glance before jumping in the drivers seat and slamming the door shut, skidding his way from the alley way.

"... I'm sorry" she piped up softly, sobering up quickly.

"Sorry doesn't redeem yourself Kayla" he stated, "you can't just do all these horrible things and then say sorry when half the time I don't even think you mean it"

"I _do_ mean it!"

"Yeah, sure" he murmured sarcastically, "like I _totally_ can take your word for it"

She frowned, wrapping her arms around her torso, "I took drugs"

"I'm aware" he said through gritted teeth, hands tightening around the steering wheel, "I'm not stupid Kayla"

"... I also made out with Camden"

"You _what?"_ He exclaimed, whipping his head to the side to stare at her, almost running them both off the road as he did so, "Camden? Isaacs _brother?_ _**Another**_ Lahey?"

"It was a poor lapse in judgement and I'm-"

"If you say you're sorry again then so help me _god_... " he warned in fury, arms shaking as he gripped the wheel with so much anger he was surprised it hadn't snapped in half yet, "Camden, _really_?"

At least she had the decency to look ashamed, "I shouldn't have done it"

"No, you shouldn't have" he agreed bitterly, "you can't go around, getting off with whoever you damn well please and then call me when your screwed up guilt switch flips back on. You just _can't_. I'm not your back up option"

"You never were my back up option" she stated, "I want... I want us to work"

"You have a funny way of showing that"

"Stiles-"

"Don't _Stiles_ me Kayla, not now" he cut her off angrily, "and I suppose now you want us to go back to having sex like nothing's wrong huh?"

"No" she shook her head, "I want to talk"

"Maybe I'm fed up of hearing you talk" he stated, suddenly turning the wheel and pulling up to the side of the road, switching off the engine before the jeep had even stopped. "Maybe for once, I don't wanna talk. Or have to _think_. Maybe I just want to be allowed to feel pissed at you"

"Then be pissed at me" she said calmly, "let it out"

So he did.

He showed her _exactly_ how hurt and mad he was, how - despite how much he loved her - he was confused and heartbroken by her actions. He made it blatantly obvious how broken he felt by fucking her on the front of the jeep against the cool metal, being anything but gentle as his hips slammed themselves between her legs, bruising the inside of her thighs and it was so destructively satisfying that he couldn't stop - didn't _want_ to stop, just pinned her willing body down as he took her exactly the way he wanted, portraying all the negative emotions he felt coursing through his furious body.

They had had angry sex before but this was different. Vastly different. It was more like hate sex because, right now, he hated what she had become, hated this crappy situation and kinda hated her. He was an inferno ready to explode but she was more than happy to let him take his uncontrolled anger out on her, in whatever way he needed.

He never touched her. Never kissed her. Never so much as looked at her as he pinned her arms above her head, holding her squirming body still as she bathed in the dangerous pleasure running through her veins as he fucked her so relentlessly he was surprised she didn't break at his brute force. His cock forcing itself into her tight wet warmth, continuously slamming into her cervix, stretching her until he could imagine how painful it must've been but she never complained, never asked him to slow down or stop, just took it and enjoyed it, wanting nothing more than to slide her nails down his back and grip onto his shirt but he was strong and kept her pinned down and still, not wanting her touching him.

He was so quick, his powerful lean hips completely wrecking her as he finally interacted with her, like he was semi treating her like a person and not a simple screw.

"Tell me-" he murmured breathlessly in her ear, knowing this would just piss him off even more but he needed to know, needed to put his mind at rest, "-how many people have you fucked?"

He didn't know why he was torturing himself like this but he just needed to know. The unknowing part was the worst. At least if he knew he could rationalise and deal with it in a, hopefully, sensible and non self destructive way.

She could barely breathe, sweat prickling her body, "I... I..."

He never looked at her, just squeezed her wrists tighter until he was sure they would bruise, " _tell me!"_

Her back arched, "m-maybe thirty?... Or-Or closer to forty I can't r-remember"

He was right, it did just piss him off and not in the possessive way (though he supposed that contributed) it was how she let all these people have their way with her and when she returned to normal, when he got her back, she would have to deal with the guilt and shame of that and that completely destroyed him.

He grunted in displeasure, dropping a hand down to painfully squeeze her hip, the other one still pinning her harshly as he started to feel his stomach clench, pleasure coiling in his gut at the feel of her warmth clenching around him, inviting him to go deeper, to cum inside her and mark her as his.

He pushed himself up, glancing down at their bare connecting bodies as he unravelled with a grunt, cock twitching as he filled up every inch of her and she just lay there, keeping her legs spread to accommodate him.

Maybe hate sex _could_ be therapeutic. He did feel a lot calmer now. Or maybe he was just exhausted, giving a few more slower deeper thrusts to drain every single drop of himself inside her before pulling out and rolling to the side, leaning back against the windscreen.

"Feel better?" She gasped, wincing a little as she pushed herself up on shaky arms.

He finally looked at her, glancing across at her reddened wrists which she rubbed, stare dropping from her neck which was breaking out in fresh bruises. He couldn't remember biting her or sucking on the curve of her neck, maybe he was more out of control that he thought. His gaze then fell to her hips, dainty and slender and so easily bruised before focusing on her bare thighs, skin red and soon starting to turn black and blue.

"Yeah" he answered, a sudden guilt twisting his gut, "you good?"

She nodded "of course" hopping off the front of the jeep and onto shaky legs which almost gave way, her having to grab ahold of the bonnet as she let out a wince, screwing her face up in pain, "ow, wow... You really were angry huh?"

He didn't answer. Couldn't answer. Just slid off as well and pulled up his briefs and slacks, adjusting his still half boner before buckling the belt, slyly watching as she carefully slid her shorts up her bruised legs.

"If uh... If you want me to go, I'll go" she told him before he could make his way back to the drivers side, "I meant what I said. I shouldn't have called you, especially because I knew it would just end up hurting you"

"Kaylz..." He was saying her nickname, that was a good start, "I don't want you to go. I just want you to stop being so self destructive. To want to apologise and not do it because you feel you have to"

"Self destruct is always my default. You know that better than anyone"

"When we were together and happy, you didn't press self destruct. It was only when things got hard or you felt lost. Do you... Do you feel lost?"

She was so fucking lost, even with a map and a compass she still felt like she couldn't find her way out.

But she just shrugged, not wanting to answer and he sighed, nodding his head to the passenger side door.

"Get in" he said gently, much calmer and relaxed with a small smile on his face, "you can come back to mine. Lydia's working on breaking the next part of the deadpool list"

Her face lit up a little, giving him a small smile back as she slowly walked around to her side, legs still stiff and sore but it was a good pain, satisfying pain, and she carefully climbed in, wiping the sweat from her forehead.

And off they drove. The tension was pretty much resolved, it was now a quiet and peaceful atmosphere.

At least until Stiles floundered a little, continuously trying to press on the brakes but nothing seemed to happen and she could pretty much feel his panic oozing off him in waves.

"Stiles?"

"My brakes aren't working" he stated, taking his eyes off the road, "why aren't they working?"

"Then just slow down" she advised calmly but he wasn't listening, frowning in worry as he kept trying the brakes.

"What if someone cut them?"

"Stiles-"

"This just has assassin written all over th-"

" _ **Stiles**_ " she tried to warn but it was too late. He had already taken his eyes off the road for too long, the steering starting to swerve as he ran over spikes placed carefully over the road, tires puncturing as a loud bang echoed around them, the jeep careening to one side before flipping over several times and disappearing down a steep verge.

 **a/n) NO ROSCOE (cries) haha, that poor jeep has been through too much lol but I hope you all enjoyed know this chapter is a few days overdue but I'm trying lol, hope you liked and please please review it means so much and I appreciate them so much, they keep me going haha see you soon :)**

 **Also, got a poll up haha**


	34. Chapter 34 - Paralysis

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf is not mine in any way shape or form :( You're all amazing and fab and I love you all okay? Haha a massive thankful shoutout to x XRoweenaJAugistineX x, ShiannetheFangirlofEverything, Linda96, TheMysteriousPerson -0- '-0, sive, hope (thank u for keep checking in on me ur so sweet) and zvc56, you're all lovely and I hope you enjoy this NExt chapter but warning, it's quite full on about half way through and could be triggering** **x**

Darkness enveloped her to the point where it was smothering and claustrophobic, burrowing her deeper into the depths of its cool grasp, keeping her still and fearful, all of which she absolutely _hated_. It made her vulnerable and she couldn't afford to be vulnerable, not now, not _ever_. Vulnerability was never good, especially for her. When she was vulnerable she got hurt, both physically and emotionally and she had had enough of that for several lifetimes, maybe even hundreds. She _couldn't_ get hurt again, she wouldn't be able to handle it.

Maybe that was how she managed to claw herself from those depths through sheer will - the fear of being weak, that paralysing numbing terror that seemed to fuel her these days.

She came to groggily, coughing and spluttering as she choked back some dusty air, wincing a little as she felt some glass shards slice at her bare arms and back as she tried to push herself up, her entire body aching.

The jeep was upside down, all windows broken, the engine smoking in protest as she blinked quickly to try and rid herself of the bright lights flashing in front of her vision, almost immediately twisting her head to the side to find Stiles, to check he was alright, to make sure he was safe. In that moment everything else didn't really matter, not completely, not until she knew he was still breathing.

"S-Stiles?" her voice groggy and croaky as she reached out to gently jostle his arm, panic searing through her bones as he didn't respond, fresh blood trailing down the side of his face and pooling around his head.

Head injuries were bad. Especially when they bled _that_ much.

She knew immediately exactly what she was feeling in that moment in time. Something so pure, raw and unpronounced, something that up until now had been almost foreign to her she was so surprised she actually felt.

Maybe she wasn't so heartless after all. Because heartless people shouldn't feel love, should they?

But then, in that time she looked across at him, seeing him wounded and bloody and hurt _made_ her feel love. She knew what it was because it made her feel warm and happy but also terrified because if she loved Stiles, if she admitted that to herself, she had so much  more than herself to lose.

She was vulnerable.

And she _**hated**_ being vulnerable.

A sudden crunch of leaves and branches outside the jeep alerted her to the fact they weren't alone. That their little 'accident' wasn't really an accident, not really. It had been set up. The brakes being cut, the spikes in the middle of the road designed to puncture their tyres, it was apart of a much bigger plan to kill them.

Stiles had been right... Assassins, for sure.

Her eyes flared a bright warning green, desperately starting to kick at the jeep door to try and get it to open because there was no way she would let whoever was out there hurt either one of them but definitely not Stiles. She could handle a lot but Stiles... Well, he was breakable. But it wasn't just that. He was special to her and she didn't want him getting hurt. She would rather anything but that, a sickening ball of worry churning in her gut.

 _Dammit_ , why wasn't this stupid door opening?

She tried again, kicking at it relentlessly but nothing was happening which wasn't just strange, it was impossible. She was strong, she had strength and willpower many others did not and no jeep door should hold her back.

But then, with a worrisome realisation smacking her across the face, she became conscious that she wasn't kicking at the door, just imagining she was. Her legs were still, sprawled out in front of her like dead snakes, unmoving and uncooperative. Even when she strained, concentrating hard to get them to move to her commands they never, a numbness spreading all the way to her hips.

She couldn't move her legs. She literally _couldn't_ even move them an inch despite how hard she tried. How could something so simple, something she had done for seventeen years, suddenly be impossible to do? She never used to have to think about these things, her body always moved with her flawlessly, countless years of training and practice making her body the perfect machine. Except now it didn't respond to her commands and wishes, her entire lower body numb and void to any pain or feeling.

No... _No_ , this _couldn't_ be happening. No. Not now. _No, no, no, no, no._ It couldn't be, not after _everything_ she had been through. A stupid car accident wouldn't render her helpless. It couldn't.

 _ **No**_.

But the next thing she knew she was dragged through the shattered passenger side window, more glass piercing her skin as she got thrown back against the exterior of the jeep but, unable to hold herself up, crumpled back to the leafy ground, her legs giving way and collapsing from underneath her body to lay at an awkward angle around her and, if she could feel them in that moment, she was sure it would hurt.

"Didn't expect this to be so simple" a deep voice boomed sadistically and she glanced up slowly, shock and fear still pumping wildly through her veins, "someone so easy to take down shouldn't be worth so much money - it's an insult"

She didn't recognise the man - a tall, dark haired broad army type, his chiselled features set in stone as he glared down at her, circling back and forth like a predator would to prey and she, strangely, was the prey.

Since coming back she had always been the attacker - the one making others feel weak and helpless as an outlet for her chaotic and messed up damaged brain, getting a thrill from other people's pain to try and make up for her own only now she was the feeble and incapable one, the person that couldn't even stand to defend herself.

" _Coward_ " she hissed, "you knew you wouldn't stand a chance in hell at killing me so you resorted to dirty tactics"

The man shrugged, his eyes flickering to the battered jeep, "two for the price of one. I couldn't pass up that opportunity"

A fiery anger flared up inside her, her irises glowing an even brighter luminous green, " _don't you dare_ touch him"

The man smirked, "stop me then" like he knew she couldn't, his smirk turning into a gleeful smile at her broken look as she glanced down at her legs curled around her, reaching out to touch them but still she felt nothing. It was like touching thin air despite her sight clearly registering she was clinging to her bare and bruised legs.

It was unnatural and mind boggling, her two senses clashing.

"Thought so" the man sounded smug, his face contorted into disgust as he scoffed down at her, "you paraplegic piece of scum. And just for your comments earlier, you can watch as I kill him - how does that sound?"

It sounded fucking _terrifying_. It made her feel sick to her stomach, worry coursing through her veins as she willed her body to move, to move and protect the person she loved-

 _No_ , don't think that Kayla, it shouldn't be possible to feel that, not after closing herself off, she shouldn't open up those wounds again, she shouldn't let Stiles in because he was the only one capable of hurting her and she _couldn't_ risk it.

She just wanted to protect her person - her _favourite_ human, the one she felt safe and comfortable with, the guy she remembered spending her last moments with and knowing how happy and content she would be because she was in his arms - her favourite place. That's who she wanted to protect and she would damn well do near anything to do it.

But it appeared her mind compensated for what her body couldn't do because before the man could round the jeep and get within five feet of an unconscious Stiles, his body got flung sideways violently, soaring through the air before hitting a tree, slamming to the ground painfully.

She wasn't completely useless after all.

Except just that simple move, an easy telepathically fuelled mind game, caused her entire body to ache, a sharp painful searing flash shooting across her forehead and she gasped in agony, throwing her head in her heads to try and dull the pain.

She was using too much energy, too much exertion and both her body and mind were not thanking her for it. Whatever damage that car accident had caused was obviously severe enough to make her, essentially, worthless.

The man picked himself up off the ground, grunting in pain as he cradled his elbow, his strong fists clenching in anger.

"This $23 million dollars better be worth it" he cursed, stalking towards her furiously, "stupid bitch" and before she could even register what had happened, he had grabbed her by the collar of her shirt, yanking her up only to crash her back against the metal of the jeep, his thick burly hands wrapping around her neck.

"You sick _bastards_ " he roared, his grip tightening relentlessly, " _unworthy... Unnatural._.. Pieces of _dirt_... **Stupid little _bitch..."_**

He was choking her, her useless feet dangling off the ground as he took away a hand but had soon barrelled it painfully into her stomach, winding her immediately.

"None of you should exist" he continued in a blind rage, "it's wrong. _You're_ wrong. You should _rot in hell"_

If she had the usual control over her voice at this moment in time, she would've replied with something snarky like "been there, done that, keep up with the programme" but she was on the brink of passing out as he choked her into submission, her brain painfully fogging up - she couldn't think, couldn't move, couldn't try and process what was happening.

"I know what you are you stupid _slut_ " he continued cursing before, still holding her neck, he pulled her forward and threw her to the ground so she slammed into it painfully, her chest flaring with pain as she landed on some stones that dug into her chest, "seduce men... _Kill_ them... You force people into doing things-" if she could find her voice, she would've corrected him, scoffed and said she never forced people into having sex with her, it was both parties willing because she was not that screwed up in the head, but she couldn't bring herself to even try and speak, slowly trying to push herself up on her elbows, "-maybe you should get a taste of your own medicine"

For a second, she felt panic surge through her, not liking his tone of voice nor the implications behind it and that panic soon turned into adrenaline, her hands digging into the dirt to try and pull herself forward, to try and escape his clutches as her useless legs dragged behind her but he must have managed to grab a hold of her ankle, not that she could feel it, she just assumed because she got dragged backwards across the stones and dirt as the man grabbed ahold of the back of her neck, pinning her face first down.

"I've killed so many supernatural _bastards_ before" he growled against her ear, hand wrapping around her waist to unbutton her shorts, "but I've never killed one of your kind, let alone heard of them" roughly tugging her shorts down her legs as she tried to squirm, to pull herself away, but she was effectively powerless, unable to move her legs to try and deter him, "you're going to die a slut"

People could be so cruel, taking what they wanted and not giving a damn the damage they could cause - psychologically.

It always happened to her, and countless others she was sure.

When she was twelve she certainly didn't want the milkman to touch her thigh, nor did she want him to whisper those despicable things in her ear.

When she turned thirteen, she just wanted to swim in peace without the creepy staring or the lewd comments.

She was still just a kid at fourteen, headstrong and stubborn none the less but still just a kid, she didn't want to be followed home from school, catcalls and whistles following her because she chose to wear shorts in 95 Fahrenheit weather.

At fifteen she was broken and lost, hooking up with Aiden but still getting used, men, grown men who should have no interest in fifteen year old girls, offering her what she needed, drugs, the best around because she was scarily addicted, in return for sexual favours which she only did because she had no other choice - or she felt she didn't, that's what addiction did, lowered your self esteem and will.

Then at sixteen she met Stiles who actually treated her right and respectively, who would scoff and get angry at any guy that so much as looked at her the wrong way. There was still Brian though - Brian who would manipulate and twist her around his finger, unsettling her right to the core.

This sort of thing had continuously happened to her, but it didn't made it right. She knew she was a terrible person but she didn't deserve this, no one did.

She heard the faint sound of a belt buckle unclasping, the metal rattling and then the zipper being pulled down as she desperately tried to pull herself away, to find something to grab to hit him with but he just pressed his chest against her back, hands sliding along her arms to grab her wrists and pin her to the ground, his weight holding her down.

"Don't act like you don't enjoy this"

She didn't - she _didn't_ enjoy this. She didn't want it, why would she want this? She didn't. She _didn't_. Why couldn't he see that?

"Let me show you what a _real_ man is like"

She started crying, willing her legs to move but then didn't, sprawled around her useless as he grabbed a fistful of her underwear and yanked them down until they were resting around her knee joints as he held her down tighter, spitting in his hand before reaching down to massage into her, his fingers unpleasant and unwanted against her.

She knew what he was doing - she couldn't feel it but she knew and it didn't make it any the less traumatising. She hadn't felt this helpless in so long, her body not willing to move and her mind a complete shambles, unable to facilitate any kind of supernatural power. She felt exactly like she did in hell - weak and useless, only there for someone's entertainment.

She could feel his hot breath against her neck and cheek, his hand tight around her wrists as he tried to shimmy himself free from the confines of his underwear, grunting in her ear that he would take her "good and proper" and that, despite being numb from the waist down, he would "make her feel it"

No... She didn't want this, she didn't want this, _she didn't want this-_

But before he could even fully free himself from his underwear, his weight suddenly disappeared from her back and she gasped, using that freedom from his sweaty body to glance around, blinking through the tears.

Stiles had forcefully yanked him up by the back of his jacket, his eyes full of fury as he starting punching him, his fist continually smacking him forcefully across the face.

"Real-" punch "-men-" punch "-don't-" punch "-rape-" punch "-women-" punch "-you-" punch "-sick-" punch "- _son_ -" punch "- _of_ -" punch "- _a_ -" punch "- _bitch_ "

By the end of Stiles' furious rant the man's face looked caved in, his jaw at an awkward angle, his nose broken, both eyes swollen and bruised, blood spilling from his nostrils and mouth but he didn't stop there. He watched as the man fell to his knees, staring at him in enraged disgust as he continued pummelling him, bones in his face breaking on impact.

She knew she should stop him, tell him to calm down, that she was fine and he shouldn't kill him but in that moment it wasn't exactly Stiles. His fiery uncontrolled anger had taken over, fuelled by the nogitsunes influence still residing inside him. He was pissed and that, in return, woke up the devil inside.

She scrambled to pull her underwear back up, wanting to tug on her shorts but they were discarded to one side a few feet away and she couldn't bear to crawl and get them, pushing herself back a few feet by her hands, her bare legs scraping along the sharp stones and twigs.

The man almost collapsed but Stiles had a firm grip on his shirt, holding his swaying body up as he swapped hands, now punching out at his cheek with his left hand.

"I'm going-" another harsh punch "-to enjoy-" Stiles leaned closer, his furious face just inches from the mans broken one, "- _killing_ you"

She panicked, wiping at her wet cheeks as Stiles knocked him backwards to the ground, stepping over him and wrapping a hand around his neck, pulling back to continued punching him but she knew that man, despite how sick and twisted he was, was on his last legs. She didn't necessary care if he lived or died, in fact she would much prefer he died, but she didn't want that responsibility, that blood on Stiles' hands. He didn't deserve that.

"S-Stiles _wait_ " she screeched loudly, flinching a little as he suddenly whipped around to look at her, his eyes wide and wild and full of bloodlust but he almost immediately calmed down upon looking at her, his bloodied hand stilling in midair, halfway ready to continue punching the man.

He didn't continue his assault, just let go of the man and made his way towards her, looking totally devastated as he kneeled down next to her, sliding his hand through her hair to tilt her head towards him.

"Are you... Are you okay?" He whispered, glancing down at her body and dropping his hand to touch her thigh, the bruises becoming evident on her skin, "did he... Did he...?"

She shook her head firmly, "no... No he didn't. Almost though"

Stiles' jaw was clenched in both anger and sadness, holding back his frustrated tears as he traced his fingers along the inside of her thighs, anger bubbling in his chest at the bruises and scrapes, her underwear which had been ripped and tangled in her legs when he awoke and saw what was happening were now in place.

"I'm going to _kill him"_ Stiles raged quietly, his voice shaking with fury.

"No... Don't" she whispered, shaking her head as she reached out to take a hold of his forearms, keeping him close as she stared up at him, her eyes strangely vulnerable as she watched his sticky blood which was matted through his thick hair continue trailing down the side of his face, "Stiles I... I can't... I can't..."

"What?" He whispered gently, "can't what Kaylz?"

She felt like screaming and crying all at once, her bottom lip wobbling, "I can't feel my legs... _I can't feel my legs"_

His eyes widened in panic, quickly dropping his stare to watch her legs unable to move, lying at an awkward angle on the ground before glancing at the jeep and then back up the steep verge they tumbled down, his brain quickly working out what happened.

Guilt flared up in his stare, his molten gold eyes turning fearful and pitying as they found her stare once again, "the accident..." He mumbled in realisation, "it must've... Your back..."

"Stiles" she whimpered, completely and utterly terrified, "I can't feel them... I can't _feel_ them..."

"Hey, hey, shhhhh" he reassured, blinking through the pounding pain assaulting his head as his bloody and scraped hands cupped her cheeks, "it's going to be okay, I promise"

No it wasn't, not if she couldn't walk again. How was that okay?

Suddenly, she wasn't some heartless, fearless, selfish person, she was completely and utterly terrified right to the core, through and through. She was scared shitless.

More tears leaked from her eyes, tracing down her cheeks as she didn't bother wiping them away - what was the point? Stiles had seen her at her worst countless times over and yet he was still here, a few tears wouldn't deter him.

She kept holding his forearms despite the shock coursing through her body, making her start to zone out, an immediate reaction to the pain and emotional turbulence, "Stiles don't-don't go down that dark road, not like I did" she advised weakly, "because there's no coming back... Not really and I don't want that for you because I... Because I..." She was exhausted, burrowing her head into his blood soaked shirt, "...I love you"

* * *

Stiles had been pacing for hours. Along the length of the corridor for the remainder of the night, unable to really sit still for longer than two minutes and when he was sitting he was fidgety and restless, his leg bouncing up and down.

He was fine, still had a killer headache and eight stitches that were painful, a concussion to go along with that but he got out pretty lucky. He wasn't injured anywhere else, even his jeep was okayish, a little bit of exterior damage but no serious faults.

The doctors had been running tests on Kayla, some CT and MRI scans and all he got back was there was some damage to the thoracic section of her spine and, although the injury wasn't extensively severe, it did result in the loss of function of her legs. The doctor said it could be temporary but he wasn't sure, he didn't know. No one knew. And although Stiles was sure she would heal well, she normally did, he still felt worry and guilt coursing through his veins, sickening him to his stomach.

Scott caught up to him in the afternoon, finding him fidgety and restless on the hard plastic seats.

"We uh... We found Liam"

"That's great" he said dryly, not having the energy to sound happy over it even though he was relieved for the kid.

"How's Kayla?"

He shrugged, "I don't know, they're still running tests"

"She'll be fine" Scott reassured gently, "she can heal, she'll be back on her feet in no time"

"I hope so"

Silence resumed as Stiles started gnawing on his thumbnail, the not knowing being the worst.

"Uh... That guy um..." Scott said hesitantly, "he's been moved to intensive care"

" _Good_ " Stiles stated, "he deserves it"

"Stiles..."

"No Scott, don't act all moral about this"

"It wouldn't be right if he died"

"He was _raping her"_ he exclaimed loudly, his eyes turning furious, "he was raping her" he said quieter, his hands shaky with anger, "or was going to. I couldn't let that happen so just drop it"

Scott just nodding, understanding and accepting Stiles' fury just as the doctor came up to them and Stiles immediately stood, his eyes turning wild with worry.

"She'll be okay" the doctor reassured, "the damage is minimal which is incredibly lucky. hopefully with some rehabilitation she'll recover. She's settled in her room"

"Can I... Can I see her?"

"She requested no visitors" the doctor informed him, "I'm sorry"

"N-No visitors?" He mumbled in confusion, "but I'm her boyfriend"

"I am sorry but she did specifically say no visitors. Maybe come back tomorrow"

Come back tomorrow? No chance, as if that was going to happen. He glared at the doctor, throwing himself back onto the hard plastic seat and crossing his arms stubbornly. No, he wasn't going to go. Especially after what she told him.

Just a shame she only said it when she was at her most vulnerable.

* * *

"Oh _great_ , just who I want to see" she murmured sarcastically, rolling her eyes, "what do you want? Or have you just come to laugh at me?"

Paige snuck in and closed the door quietly, folding her arms as she stared at Kayla, her blonde hair lightly curled and clothes immaculate, tapping her painted fingernails across the sleeves of her hot pink jacket.

"Believe it or not Kayla, not everyone is as sadistic as you" Paige mumbled, "heard what happened, had to see for myself"

"Well good for you, you saw little old paralysed me, _yippee_ " she snarked, "now please go. As you can probably see, I can't exactly kick you out"

Paige just rolled her eyes but chose to ignore her, pulling up a seat and propping herself into it next to Kayla's bedside who narrowed her eyes at her boldness.

"I'm not an expert or anything but you can heal quickly" Paige explained, "so you'll heal from this, won't you?"

"I..." Kayla glanced down at her legs on top of the covers, hating the sadness and uncertainty she felt, "I don't know"

Paige frowned in concern, "what do you mean you don't know?"

"I _mean I don't know"_ Kayla snapped, "I've never had a damn broken back before"

"My god you're difficult" Paige said, totally exasperated, "I'm trying to sympathise with you"

"Well I don't need your sympathy"

"You're paralysed from the waist down, just accept it"

"Go to hell"

Paige sighed heavily, uncrossing her legs and leaning forwards, placing her forearms on the bed, "Stiles is out there. He wants to see you"

"Maybe I don't want to see him"

"Don't lie"

"He was the one that crashed the jeep. It's his fault I'm like this"

"You're being ridiculous"

"Paige" she scoffed, "just go"

"Why do you do this?" She asked in bamboozlement, "why do you keep making people hate you?"

Kayla pursed her lips, "it's easier that way"

"How is having people despise you, easier?"

That was the question, wasn't it. Why was it easier? She didn't know. A defence mechanism maybe. Or maybe because she knew, in her heart, she wasn't good enough for them. She didn't deserve them and it was better off alone and bitter than feel guilty over hurting them.

"Don't psych me Paige, I'm not in the mood"

The blonde just sighed heavily, placing her chin on her palm, "did you sleep with Isaac just to piss me off?"

"Believe it or not, but the world does not revolve around you Paige" she stated, totally unamused, "Isaac and I have always had a... Complicated relationship" she said carefully, "in fact complicated is putting it lightly. So no, I didn't have sex with your boyfriend to spite you, just like how I didn't half hook up with Harry to get under your skin. You gotta let it go"

"How can I?" Paige mumbled, "the two people who I actually really liked ended up choosing you. I'm always going to be second best"

Kayla scoffed, "Isaac doesn't love me. Not really. He loves _you_ , you moron"

Paige drew back in shock, "what? No he doesn't. How could he if he slept with you?"

She rolled her eyes, "you and Isaac weren't a thing, he was hurting hence the sex. It was an outlet for his frustration, nothing more. And I'm not a relationship counsellor, I don't give a rats ass about your problems so can we stop speaking about Isaac fucking Lahey please, and thanks"

Paige blew out a long breath, studying her intensely, "I don't know if I can stop hating you"

"Then don't, see if I care" she claimed stubbornly, "and your lucky I can't move half of my body because I would probably be kicking you out right about now"

Paige smirked, "then I'm lucky you can't"

"Look I... I just want to be left alone. To mope in peace" Kayla explained, "being paralysed, whether it's temporary or not it's...it's not nice" she explained, "I hate it. I hate being stuck. So can you just go?"

Paige nodded, "okay, sure, whatever you need" she stood up, gingerly touching her arm, "I hope you get better soon"

Yeah, Kayla thought glumly, me too.

 **A/N) haha sorry very angsty and full on chapter but as the series progresses a lot more adult themes will be brought in and addressed hope you all enjoyed and please please pretty please review I need them validate me haha nah but for real, they keep me writing even when I lose my muse, love you all see you soon x**


	35. Chapter 35- Hello darkness my old friend

**Disclaimer: teen wolf does not belong to me in any way shape or form - massive thank you to Hope, BeccaSco, linda96, zvc56, xJenzaFreakx, and sive X 2 it means a lot and I really appreciate it, hope you enjoy X**

When she woke, having accidentally fallen asleep after Paige's little visit, she expected to come to in an empty room, just having herself for company for the endless hours, broken up by the nurses coming in and out to check her drip and move her legs, something about preventing ulcers, but as she groggily pushed herself up she saw movement in the corner of her eye and was immediately put on high alert, reaching for the glass jug on her bedside table and was prepared to throw it.

"Whoa whoa, it's okay, it's just me" Stiles pushed himself up off the chair quickly, holding out his hands in surrender, "please don't knock me out"

She lowered the jug, frowning at the somewhat nervous boy next to her, "Stiles... What are you doing?"

He breathed a sigh of relief when she let go of the offending item, dropping his arms and shrugging, "your doctor said you didn't want any visitors so I snuck in"

She half smirked because she should have expected that. Well, this was Stiles they were talking about, he was known for his breaking and entering and being places he wasn't supposed to be.

"Naturally" she snorted, sobering up quickly when she met his concerned gaze, "but I still stick to what I said. I don't want visitors, least of all you"

She didn't mean for it to come out so harshly but she guessed it must have by the way he flinched, recoiling a little in guilt. Whoops, sometimes her unemphathetic tone of voice slipped out when it wasn't supposed to.

"Kaylz I'm... I'm really so sorry" he apologised, "I know all of this is my fault-"

The bitter, hateful part of her blamed him, sure, but she recognised that was her just taking the easy way out and not taking responsibility for her actions. See? She was so totally learning. But she didn't want to see him because she felt anger towards him, no, it was the complete opposite. She... She _liked_ him. She liked him a lot. Maybe too much to even get her head around and after saying what she did... After telling him she loved him, she couldn't face him. It was just too much. She knew he would be grasping at straws, pleading to her with those big brown eyes of his to just accept whatever the hell it was she was feeling but she didn't know if she could. So it was easier to avoid him, avoid their complicated situation, and pretend she didn't feel a damn thing. It wouldn't be helpful in the long run, but short term? It would be bliss and she really needed bliss right now.

"Stiles I don't blame you for this" not entirely anyway, she added in her head, "I just... Don't want to see you right now, that's all"

He frowned knowingly, his quick brain working out exactly what she was thinking despite how hard she tried to hide it - that was just Stiles though, sometimes unable to see the blatantly obvious despite it being right in front of his eyes but able to pick up on small things, things others wouldn't wouldn't bother analysing or trying to figure out.

"Kaylz..." He stepped forward, inching closer to her edge of the bed but she just shook her head.

" _No_ Stiles" she insisted, "please just go"

"Don't push me away" he murmured, "if you don't want me to make a big deal about what you said then I won't, I promise, just don't... Don't think that keeping me at arms length is a good solution cos' it's not" he placed his two hands around the bed railings and she was half convinced he would pull out a pair of handcuffs and lock himself to the bed in protest because, honestly, she wouldn't put it past him, "look at how far we've come... Do you really want to ruin that?"

"Stiles, I know you" she said, "you don't have patience. You want all of me back now, right this second, but that's just not going to happen. Things don't just happen that quickly. I can't give you what you want, and I don't need that sort of pressure right now" she sighed heavily, "I feel stuck enough as it is" breaking away from his stare and glancing down at her legs - her legs which were useless and unfeeling.

His brows continued to furrow, looking totally and completely disappointed, "I won't push you"

She thought back to the past week, the last few days in particular - he didn't realise but he had been pushing her, treating her like the old Kayla, the one that loved him explicitly, not the one that was broken and damaged and been to hell and back, expecting too much from her, insisting that they spend time together and she enjoyed it, she did, but sometimes it was too claustrophobic. She didn't know how to be that person again, the person he wanted back, and she couldn't keep being pushed otherwise she would stumble then fall and might not be able to get back up again.

"You are just by being here" she whispered sadly, "I don't want to see you" she lied, "not tonight, not tomorrow, and not for a while so please, don't make me ask you again..."

She watched his jaw clench, desperately trying to stop his expression crumbling in defeat and despair as he just solemnly nodded, his hands retreating back to his sides.

"Fine" he murmured, "if you don't want to see me, that's okay" but it didn't feel okay, not for either one of them, "but I'm not going. I'm going to be right outside until you feel better because if there's one thing I've learnt it's not to walk away from you. I've turned my back on you too many times and I won't do it again. Ever. I promise"

She sighed heavily, "stop making promises to me Stiles, especially empty ones"

"It's not empty" he vowed, "till the end of the road, remember?"

She didn't answer, just turned her head away and he pursed his lips, desperately trying to not show the despairing sadness etched onto his face as he started walking backwards, wishing for her to look at him one last time but she never, totally avoiding any and all eye contact so he just dropped his head in defeat and slowly excused himself from the room.

He knew he probably was pushing her but it was just because he loved her and knew she was so much better than this, but maybe he was pushing too hard. It was like bending a ruler, the more force he applied, the bigger likelihood of it shattering apart and he really didn't want what he and Kayla had to be ruined just because he kept pushing the boundaries.

So he just sighed and settled down in the hard wooden seats that lined the corridors, preparing himself for a very uncomfortable night ahead.

* * *

She thought maybe when she woke the next morning she would be back to normal - her usual, able to feel her legs, self. But nope, it didn't happen. She still couldn't feel anything from the hips down and it was more than unnerving now. It was terrifying.

So naturally, being the stubborn little so and so she was, she pulled out her IV line, knocked the bed railings down and physically grabbed at her legs to pull them over the edge of the bed. If her legs weren't going to move then she would make them. She wasn't not going to try. That would be stupid. She had to push herself, she just _had_ to.

Her legs dangled over the edge as she shimmied forward, pushing herself further off the bed but all that happened when her bare feet came in contact with the cool floor was her legs collapsing underneath her and she didn't have time to stop the fall, grabbing the bed sheets and knocking into the bedside table as she fell to the floor with a painful thud.

"Okay... Ow" she muttered, pushing herself up on her elbows and blowing some stray hair from her face, "well that went well"

No one came to help her but she didn't particularly want anyone's help anyway. It would just make her feel worse, like she couldn't do anything right, even something as simple as walking. So she just pushed herself back against the wall, wincing a little at the ache in her spine and stubbornly folded her arms and was fully prepared to sit there all day if it wasn't for Stiles passing her door with his pacing and happened to glance in, not seeing her in the bed and peered his head around the door, his eyes immediately going wide at the sight of her on the floor.

"Oh my god, are you okay?"

He went to move forward but she just glared at him, warning him to back off, "I'm fine"

The look on his face was comedy gold and she might've laughed if she wasn't in such a bitter mood, stubbornly turning her head to the side to avoid eye contact.

"C'mon Kaylz-"

" _Stiles_ " she snapped, throwing him a dirty look, "I told you to get out and that meant stay out"

"Quit being so damn stubborn"

"Screw you" she said indignantly.

He rolled his eyes in annoyance, "so you want to sit on the floor all day, do you?"

She really didn't - it wasn't that comfy and her back was getting quite painful, not to mention she was cold and miserable because she liked hot weather, not enjoying the chill of the floor or wall, but was she going to admit that? _No_.

"Yes I do" she nodded her head, "so now that's been settled-"

"Kaylz" he interrupted with a stern voice, "stop it. Stop pretending" he sighed heavily, "stop pushing me away, you don't have to"

But she did, why didn't he understand that? He made her vulnerable and she didn't feel safe when she was vulnerable - she couldn't face him knowing what she said when, in reality, she was still confused by her pesky little feelings.

"Yes I do" she exclaimed heatedly before realising her mistake and quickly snapped her mouth shut, biting on the end of her tongue to stop herself letting slip anymore truths.

He frowned in concern, slowly stepping towards her and, ignoring her recoiling, slid down the wall next to her, his long lanky legs extending outwards on the floor as he tapped his fingers along his thighs.

"You're scared" he realised gently, "you think that telling me you loved me is going to change things"

She pursed her lips, glancing to the side to meet his gaze, "doesn't it?"

"Well... Yeah" he confirmed, "of course it changes things. It means _you're_ changing. But this is a good thing. It's what you want, isn't it?"

She didn't know, that was the infuriating thing. So she shrugged, not wanting to answer that personal question, not liking the idea of wearing her heart on her sleeve.

"Kayla..." he reached out, gently tilting her head to the side by chipping her chin, "do you love me?"

At the time when she said it she thought she did. No, she was _sure_ she did. She hadn't experienced love in so long that she had forgotten what it was like, how it felt, what it did to you. But when she said it... It felt right. _She_ felt right. She felt like she was drowning in so much confusion, the weight of everything pulling her down to the depths, but then there was Stiles - her anchor. Someone that, despite everything, still made her feel special and wanted, something she hadn't experienced in years.

So maybe she did, but how could she say that knowing it would make her open and vulnerable? She had learnt a lot from her time in hell and it was all about self preservation - if you weren't strong and didn't have your own back then you had nothing, because other people were unreliable. They would let her down. They had let her down. If she was strong, then she wouldn't get hurt. It was a win win.

She felt the panic welling up inside her, that fearful wave surging towards her.

She shook her head sleekly, "please... Please don't make me say it" her voice near enough pleading, begging him not to push her in this way and the last time she sounded so meek and mild, so absolutely desperate, was with the nogitsune. Back when it would all get too much, the pain, the fear, the torture, that's exactly what she sounded like now.

Maybe it was a sign of her humanity.

His eyes never strayed from hers, those honey glazed orbs piercing right through her as he leaned in closer, fingers splayed over her jawline to relax her.

Should she say it?

She could feel his warm breath on her face, his steady breathing so calm that she felt completely ridiculous for acting so panicked but this... This _scared_ her. She could handle most things but feelings? Emotions? Love? It was _way_ out of her comfort zone.

She tried to look away from his intense, loving gaze but she couldn't pull away, falling into his stare as his mouth got closer to hers, lips gently brushing against her parted ones.

"I... I..." she died for him, went through hell to save him and knew she would do it again and again if she had to, was that love? Or was that just her being protective over her human? She couldn't differentiate, more confused than ever. But the only thing she wasn't confused about? How badly she wanted him, "I... It's terrifying but... But I... I love..." she exhaled heavily, her voice shaking with intensity she fear, "...you"

His eyes lit up, like the warmth of the sun was shining through them and his lips quirked, like what she had just said had made his entire year - or better yet, like all he wanted in life was to hear those three little words one more time from her with no coercion, not accidental, just pure and real.

He closed the small gap between them, kissing her with such gentle passion and longing she wasn't quite sure what to do, shivering at the intensity of his emotions rolling off him. This was all he wanted. Such a simple request, usually so incredibly difficult. But he got it. He got her to admit her true feelings... This moment made everything he had been through with her since she returned all worth it. All the pain, the hurt, the betrayal, the worry and the anger. Everything was worth it just for this blissful moment.

He pulled back, still feeling the ghost of her soft lips on his as he peeled his eyes open and saw her eyes still closed, like she was savouring the moment. The innocence of that one kiss.

"Do you still want me to go?"

Her eyes opened slowly, her expression slightly dazed and still a little fearful as she just shook her head - a silent no.

He kissed her forehead, twisting around until he was kneeling next to her and guided her arms around his neck. She looked slightly confused, wondering what an earth he was doing until he scooped her into his arms, holding her to his chest as he stood and she immediately warmed from the chill of the floor to the heat of his body, feeling so totally content in that moment she didn't know what to make of it.

"Then I won't" he promised, not mad at her for pushing him away, completely understanding what was going through her head as he gently placed her back on the messy bed, trying to sort the bed sheets and pulling the covers up around her legs but suddenly stopped, frowning as he glanced at her thighs that were on show, the nightgown she was wearing bunched around her hips.

He reached out, running his fingers along the, now, prominent bruises that were turning a painful blue colour along her bronzed skin.

"... I'm sorry for hurting you" he whispered guiltily, "I didn't-I didn't mean to"

"It's okay" she smiled, "I can't feel it anyway"

That didn't make it any better.

He ran his fingers along the inside of her things, knowing they weren't all his bruises but at least some of them were caused by that assassin guy.

"I uh... I didn't f-force you into it... Did I?" He mumbled, hating himself for the pain he caused her. All he could remember was this wild, uncontrollable anger raging inside him like an inferno and taking it out on her. He didn't even know how it happened exactly, his only memories being him pinning her down and using her body as an outlet for his frustration, something he promised himself he would _never_ do. Sex was for two people, not one.

"No" she whispered, shaking her head, "I wanted it. I wanted _you_ " she reassured, "do you not remember it?"

He shook his head, a clear no. Now _that_ was worrying. His anger reaching unimaginable heights that he near enough blacked out, only snippets of memories playing back to him.

"Well I promise..." She said gently, laying her hand over his, "you didn't do anything wrong"

He could accept that. Kayla wouldn't lie to him about this, and they had had plenty of rough sex before which had probably resulted in more bruises than this, it was just his blacking out that worried him. His fury getting out of hand.

He sighed heavily, tracing the superficial scrapes along the tops of her thighs that he knew didn't come from him.

"Kayla...?"

"Yeah?" She whispered, frowning at the look of concern on his face.

"What happened... With that guy... Do you want to talk about it?"

"No" she said flatly, "I'm used to it"

His eyes flared with anger but around the edges were filled with deep sadness, "you shouldn't _have_ to be used to it. It shouldn't _happen_ "

"Stiles... The sad thing is, it happens all the time" she explained carefully, "and not just to me. To pretty much all girls in some way or another. I don't like it, but I deal with it. And I have been dealing with it since I was... God, I don't know, ten? Twelve?" His gaze was alarmed, unable to take his eyes off her, "the looks, the comments, the touches... How at fifteen when I was completely out my head from withdrawals, Aiden had broken up with me for the millionth time, this thirty something year old guy wanted me to get him off and in return he would fix me up with whatever drug I needed. Looking back, I know it was wrong. No one of that age should be attracted to a fifteen year old girl, it's wrong, but then I didn't care. I ignored the warning signs because I was an addict and I needed that hit more than I cared about myself. So I did what he asked... What he... Threatened..." She murmured afterwards, "and I followed him to that back alley, or behind his car, or wherever he wanted and I got on my knees and I got him off. I didn't want to, it was the last thing I wanted, but I did it. And then I did it to his friends because they... Because they were there, and I couldn't say no. If I said no, they would've just done that and a whole lot worse. And then I was known as the girl that sucked off guys for drugs. And that feeling... That shame, it was there with Brian too. How he made me feel so low, so embarrassed... Even with just his words. Or his looks. How he... How he touched me. And how, even now, when I got drunk and high and hooked up with all these people, maybe some of the time I didn't initiate it. Because no matter how much you enjoy sex, it's a horrible feeling waking up to someone on top of you... Taking what they want... And knowing it's wrong, but forcing yourself to enjoy it, forcing yourself to think that you deserve it, that somewhere along the line you must've said yes but deep down knowing you didn't. That despite being a horrible person you know that you don't deserve this. Or... Or being known as a slut or a whore just because you enjoy sex and have the confidence to express yourself. I've dealt with it all my life, in my own way... A way that doesn't involve talking about it"

Stiles' look was sad and crestfallen, "Kaylz... He uh... He... There was um..."

"What?" She asked in confusion, "was what?"

"He did uh... He did start to... There was uh... Some penetration... You just didn't feel it. You couldn't feel it" he nodded down to her legs, "I didn't get there in time. Not like you thought"

"Oh"

Seriously, oh? That was all she said, oh? Great sentence formation Kayla, really, _well done,_ she thought sarcastically, but she didn't know what else to say to that.

He tilted his head forward, "oh?" he repeated, "I tell you that your sexual assault was actually bordering on rape - no, in fact it was rape, and you say oh?"

"I don't know what else you want me to say?"

"Show some _emotion_ " he exclaimed, "it is allowed Kaylz, no one's going to think you're weak by showing what you're feeling. It's the beauty of being human. _Show_ you're hurt. _Show_ you're mad. Just don't hide it"

"I've been used too many times to give those bastards the satisfaction of watching me break so please, let's just drop it now alright?" She insisted, "please?" She added.

He didn't look pleased by her complete disregard for what happened but she wasn't condoning it, not at all. She hated that guy, she would quite happily kill him for what he did, but she just didn't want to talk about it. This was her coping mechanism - probably not a very good one but she had been doing this for seventeen years, she wasn't going to change it.

"Okay... Okay sure" he nodded, "but as soon as he wakes up from that coma, I'm going to put him right back into one" he threatened, "or better yet, put him in the ground"

His anger was slipping through again, that uncontrollable surge that amplified all his bad parts - his fury, his jealousy, his lack of empathy. The nogitsunes mark clearly having an influence on him.

"That's not a terribly bright idea Stiles"

His eyes darkened until they looked pitch black, much like the time the nogitsune took over his body, "I'll kill him. He can't do that to you and get away with it"

"Just uh..." She shimmied over, pulling back the sheets, "calm down okay? And come and lie down" she requested, "I bet those seats out there weren't exactly comfy"

He relaxed a little, a small smile splaying over his lips, "no, not really"

"But first-" she held out her finger, "-steal me some jello will you? If I had fully functioning legs I would do it myself but..."

"Oh okay, I see how it is" he smirked, quickly switching back to carefree happy Stiles within a couple of seconds, "I'm your own personal thief now am I?"

"Totally" she nodded, "and I prefer lime"

He chuckled, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead, "yeah yeah I know. I'll get right on that" he threw her a smile before exiting the room and as soon as the door clicked shut she breathed a sigh of relief, reaching over to the bedside table and grabbing her phone, quickly noting that it was running out of charge but there should be enough to make one phone call - hopefully.

She found Scott's number, desperate for him to pick up which he did just several rings later and, without even a hello, had already began to initiate conversation.

"We have a serious problem. Well, _you_ have a serious problem. I personally quite enjoy angry Stiles, so incredibly sexy, but I have a feeling this is just gonna escalate until he's not just angry Stiles, he's going-on-a-killing-rampage Stiles and then you'll have two evil people to contend with and those odds just aren't fair so, heads up"

"Kayla, wait, what are you talking about?"

"The nogitsunes mark" she explained, "or leftover mojo, whatever. The whole reason he's on the deadpool list. It's... _Snowballing_ , let's say. I see it in his eyes. When that fury takes over, it's not just Stiles acting, it's the nogitsunes influence. I thought it wouldn't be a problem, I thought that he could control it, but he can't. Or doesn't want to, I don't know which"

"Wait... Are you saying he's... He's nogitsune again?"

"No, he's not possessed. Whatever this is, it goes deeper than that. It's like the nogitsunes influence has imbedded itself into his DNA and is becoming apart of him. Maybe it has something to do with when he got his new body, I'm not sure"

She could feel Scott's worry on the other end of the line, "so what do we do?"

"I don't know, hence the phonecall" she explained, "I've just... I've never seen him as mad as I did that night. If I never stopped him... He would've murdered that man in cold blood just by his fists and that's not entirely Stiles, that's the nogitsune's influence. I'm... I'm worried that if this continues, he's going to turn into me" she admitted, "and I don't want that for him because I know what it feels like to be the bad guy and it's not nice. So..."

He paused, mulling over what she had said and realising that, although she wasn't a good person right now, she wasn't a bad person either. This phone call proved that. It showed Scott that she was actually thinking about Stiles' welfare instead of her own selfish wants.

"What do we do?" he repated, "what can we do to stop this?"

She shrugged despite him not being able to see her, "I don't know but we need help"

Scott sighed, "I'll talk to Deaton. We'll fix this"

"Okay... Okay" she nodded, "thanks"

"Wait, Kayla" he called out before she could end the call, "are you okay?"

She smirked a little at his hesitancy, like he didn't know exactly what to say, "I'm still paralysed if that's what you mean"

"Oh, uh... Will you heal?"

"Dunno" she glanced down at her bare legs, so still and unmoving it was eerie and unnatural, "I think so. I came back from the dead, healing a broken back should be like a walk in the park"

He chuckled, "I'm sure you will. You'll be back on your feet in no time"

She smiled at his faithful tone of voice before hanging up and settling back against the pillows.

And just as Kayla was doing this, Stiles has retrieved some some pots of jello - lime, of course - and was just making his way down the winded corridors when he walked past an occupied room and immediately recognised the battered and bruised face.

It was like going from 0 to 100 in a split second. All this fiery waves of anger consumed him and, before he even knew what he was doing, he had slipped into the room and shut the door, depositing the jello on the bedside table and loomed over the broken shell of a man he loathed. He attacked them, forced them to crash and then started to do unspeakable things to his girlfriend. If anyone deserves to die, it was him.

"You should've died out there" he murmured darkly, his fists clenched in anger, "I should've killed you. It's the least you deserve. Sick people like you don't deserve mercy" he told the unconscious figure, his entire face swollen and bruised heavily and Stiles got a sick rush from the enjoyment he got from that.

So he slowly unclenched his right fist, stretching out his fingers before carefully placing them over the man's mouth and nose, cutting off his breathing.

"You should go to hell" he whispered, his voice eerily calm and controlled despite the fact he was, essentially, killing a man in cold blood in a public place - if anyone saw, he would be in some deep shit, but he didn't care. He just had so much anger, he needed to get it out.

"Because _no one_ gets away with doing what you did. You don't deserve to live"

Why was he getting a thrill from this? He didn't know and he didn't care, waiting patiently for the man's heart monitor to bleep loudly but before it could the door opened and an alarmed voice cut in.

"Stiles, what are you doing here?"

He pulled back his hand, letting it fall to the side as he slowly turned around, too eerily calm for anyone's liking, and cocked his head at Melissa.

"Nothing" he replied, shrugging a shoulder, "just... Checking his progress"

Melissa frowned in worry, "maybe it's best for you not to be here Stiles"

"Maybe" he agreed coolly, sweeping out of the room but soon backtracked, pilling the jellos in his arms, "uh... Forgot my jello"

He made his way to Kayla, slipping into her room and offering her a smile.

"Lime Jello - only the best for my girl"

She smiled back, keeping the covers back so he could move into the bed next to her, placing all the jellos on her lap.

"Thank you" she sing songed, "I've had a real craving for these since I got back. About the only good thing a hospital offers"

His lips quirked, putting his arm around her shoulders, "I'd do anything for you, you know that right?"

"Yeah, of course" she nodded, keeping that gentle smile on her face despite thinking, 'that's what scares me Stiles'.

* * *

The nogitsune was uselsss down here. He was dead and gone, trapped forever in his own personal hell. He was all alone now. One moment, his favourite little toy was next to him and then, within a few seconds, she was gone. He knew _something_ must've happened. A reserection of sorts. His only closure being, when she got to the surface, she wouldn't be the same. She would be broken and he got such a thrill out of that.

However, he still felt some of his power residing in the young teenager he once possessed. It had been dormant for so long the nogitsune thought it wouldn't cause him any harm. Only now, he felt it awaken. He felt the impact it had on Stiles - the anger, the rage, it was so utterly delicious.

He may be stuck here, but that didn't mean he still couldn't play some games. He still had a certain level of control over Stiles whether he knew it or not. It wasn't absolute, not like before, but he could still twist and manipulate that power inside him for his own benefit.

They all killed him... And now he was about to exact his revenge.

 **A/N) ahhhhhhh stiles centric how ooooooooh, shit gonna hit the fan lol I hope you all enjoyed and please please review, I need to know what you think ha especially cos reviews have been falling and it's super disheartening, so thank you for reading lovelies and I shall see you soon x**


	36. 36 - Revenge is a dish best served cold

**Disclaimer: teen wolf does not belong to me in any way, shape or form :( but wow thank you so so much for all the wonderful inspiring reviews last chapter I was blown away haha, so a massive shoutout to Ashleymcd25, zvc56, sive (lol, ur reviews are amazing), linda96, hope, xJenzaFreakx, TheMysteriousPerson -0-'-0, Fallenstar, guest, guest, BeccaSco, peachy48 for the amaizng reviews you all rock hope you like this new instalment X :)**

 **and for sive's question, I've read a couple and I would totes recomend the gloaming by YourpalMoony (like ahhhh it's a rewrite and it's amaizng I love moony) January Lily (she has a lot of OC stories and her teen wolf one is so cute) and xXbriannaXx for some awesome stories tho I don't think Bri has written in a while but what she has is amazing, if I read or think of anymore I'll let you know hope that helped :)**

 _Cold._

 _She was so damn_ cold _._

 _And scared._

 _Don't forget being scared._

 _Suddenly, she felt five again, lost and alone in the middle of the woods with the sound of howling in the distance. She wasn't some fearless, emotionally stilted murderer with some fucked up psyche, she was just a girl. A girl who was absolutely and completely terrified of anything and everything, even the sound of her own breathing._

 _It was **horrible**._

 _This is why she was hesitant about letting everything back in, because she knew she couldn't handle it. She could handle most things, just not this._

 _Everyone had their limits. This was hers._

 _She glanced around hesitantly, her panic making her breathless. She couldn't see. She couldn't move. She couldn't even formulate a coherent train of thought. She was nothing in a huge expanse of everything._

 _That chill crept up her back, alerting her to another presence. That should have comforted her, instead it repulsed her. It made her want to scream._

 _... So she did._

 _She couldn't take this. She didn't know what to do. She couldn't cope. She didn't like this, she didn't like it it all. This terror, this incapacitating guilt was **overwhelming**. She was drowning and she didn't know how to save herself._

 _"Now now, little Hale... Don't be scared" a deep velvety voice whispered so close to her ear she could feel the icy cool breath tickling her lobe, "you've felt nothing yet"_

 _Why was this happening? Why now?_

 _She tried to step away, to move, to do something but she was stuck, suspended still with just the sound of her own heart thumping in her ears and complete mind numbing fear coursing through her entire body._

 _"You think you escaped me?... You never" the same voice echoed around her, her ear drums feeling like they wanted to burst, "and you never will. Especially with what's happening..."_

 _She wanted to scream again, to block out this horrendous noise but some part of her knew she couldn't. She had to look past her own terror because, as much as she hated this voice, it would tell her things she needed to know. Things she already knew but couldn't dig up through her chaotic and broken mind, her psyche in total shambles._

 _"... I will get my revenge..." It promised, "... Such beautiful karma..."_

 _It wasn't making any sense. None of this made sense, her panic increasing tenfold._

 _"Think, little Hale... Remember what I told you when you were my favourite pet?" It continued, voice throbbing around her as the presence circled her, "...think..."_

 _She was trying so damn hard but this voice, his voice, had terrorised her for hundreds of years, he had said so many things to try and unhinge her, how could she work through all that crap to figure out what he was wanting her to remember?_

 _" **Think** " it emphasised loudly and she flinched, craving the feel of familiar arms around her to comfort her, keep her safe from this intrusion in her fragile mind, "what did I tell you?"_

 _She didn't know. She didn't know. She didn't know._

 _"You do know" the voice thundered and the only thing she could see in front through the smothering darkness was a pair of molten golden eyes glaring at her, an edge of darkness creeping in from the edges, "I told you what was going to happen.. Don't make me make you remember..."_

 _She shivered, knowing that threat wasn't just a threat. He would do it. He would make her scream and cry and writhe in agony until he got what he wanted from her. She had been through this for the length of several lifetimes, she couldn't do anymore._

 _She snapped her eyes shut, trying to think, to make sense of what was being said, to cast her mind back but every time she did, every time she tried it was like running into a brick wall. A brick wall that was up to protect her from the pain, the memories that would destroy her. Behind this wall was the worst of the worst, the red hot agonising torture she had locked away. If this wall fell, so would she._

 _"If you want to save Stiles... You'll try harder than this, little Hale" the voice was even closer now, right in front of her until all she could feel encasing her was its cool breath, lips brushing against her own, "... What... did... I... tell... you...?"_

 _She couldn't but she had to. She knew she had to, she knew she had to try but it felt impossible. She felt like a failure. A mess. Her mind was shattering, slowly but surely but still shattering none the less. The more she allowed herself to feel, the more she felt herself weakening, the more her mind slowly became undone._

 _She had already died to save Stiles._

 _Was she willing to put herself through more torment for him?_

 _Of course she was, whether she liked it or not._

 _So she started thinking. She cast her mind back through all those terrors, trying not to flinch at the sound of her own screaming or crying, willing herself to be strong as she remembered how much pain she was in, how much despair. How he would take his time, slowly cutting her apart bit by bit. Peeling off each layer of skin over her entire body, the white hot crippling pain of the flames he had torched her with. How he had made her watch her friends die over and over again in the most terrible way possible. How she would watch all the people she cared about throw insults at her, telling her it was all her fault. The way he would touch her, letting her know she was here for his entertainment and his eyes only. Everything he did was so completely soul destroying, leaving her undignified and completely alone._

 _She remembered the torturous agony he put her in - not just physically, emotionally as well, bordering on sexual too because this was his hell and she was his favourite pet, forever leashed to his side as he did whatever he wanted to her. He made her break by exploiting all her weak points, all her insecurities, making her feel so much pain she wanted to die because dying would save her but how could she? She was already dead, and this was her resting place._

 _For hundreds of years she had to look at him, look at him looking like Stiles as he did unspeakable things to her - and maybe that was the worst torment of all. Having someone destroy you that looked so much like your love. Maybe that was why she had grown to despise Stiles when she first returned. Because it brought back too many bad memories._

 _The things he did, the things he said... No wonder she broke. It was crippling._

 _"He's cursed you know?" She heard that voice echo inside her head, memories flooding through her brain as she remembered the nogitsune's vile and corrupt words as he taunted her from his own little prison in hell, "my darkness has corrupted him..." He sing-songed, "and it can never completely go away"_

 _"I don't know what you're talking about" she remembered saying, tears tracing their way down her cheeks, "you're not making any sense"_

 _"Stiles" he had confirmed, pacing back and forth in front of her, arms clasped behind his back, "think of it like a catalyst. Stiles has a dark side... He sometimes acts on that, as you well know. He represses it, but it's there. Only now... My mark is going to speed that up. Make him angry. Make him murderous. Aw, now now, don't cry" he had cooed, stepping in front of her as her face screwed up, trying not to cry, to show weakness, "little Hale, it's already inside him. His darkness has lived with him for years but my mark is just going to bring that to the surface. He'll have so much fun"_

 _"Why?" She had sobbed, "w-why are you doing this?"_

 _He pressed his body against hers, a dangerous smirk playing on his lips as he slowly started unbuttoning her bloody shirt despite her flinching, recoiling back into the wall he had chained her to._

 _"Because I can" he simply said, hands separating the sides of her shirt so he could run his palms over her flesh, eyeing up the bloody deep wounds he had carved into her stomach, "and there's not a thing you can do about it my little Hale..." one hand inching upwards to cup her neck, tilting her head to the side as he skimmed his nose across her jaw and down her neck, nuzzling his head into the crook of her neck, "do you know why?" he had asked, his chapped lips dusting along her skin._

 _She shivered at the feel of his cold hands, hating them on her but knowing there was not a damn thing she could do about it. If he wanted 'company', he would take it. That's just what he did._

 _He smirked at her silence, kissing her neck gently as his hand tightened around the column of her throat, pinning her to the wall and exuberating his dominance over her._

 _"Because you're mine now" he said simply, his other hand inching up her torso to run his fingers along her breasts, "and mine you're going to stay..." and she had to wince as his teeth sunk into her neck, **"...Forever"**_

"Kayla? Kayla? _Kaylz_ , wake up!"

She jolted at the panicked voice, waking with a strangled gasp as her eyes flung open, her entire body buzzing and on high alert as she felt the hot sting of sweat on her body, trailing down her flushed skin.

"You okay?" Stiles wondered, leaning over her as he brushed some damp hair from her face, his fingertips swiping through the build up of perspiration that had bubbled from her skin, "was it a nightmare?"

She struggled to get air into her lungs despite her chest rising and falling rapidly, both cramped on the hospital bed as Stiles pushed himself up a little, his thick brows furrowing in concern as she never replied, moving his hand down to cup her cheek.

"Kaylz...?"

She hated the nogitsune with every fibre of her being. She despised him. She loathed his existence and even his non existence. She felt sick just thinking about him... It was just such a shame he took on Stiles' body, his face, because sometimes, even now, she hated to see those familiar golden eyes on her. Just for a few seconds though, but sometimes those few seconds were enough to completely unnerve her.

He appeared to panic even more as she still didn't respond, stroking her cheek, "baby... Talk to me..."

"I-I'm fine" she whispered, gulping loudly as she tried to regulate her breathing.

His hand slowly inched down from her cheek to gently rest over her chest, feeling her heart hammer against her ribcage, recoiling a little with how fast it was beating.

"What happened?"

She just shook her head, totally drenched with sweat as she raised a shaky arm and wiped at her eyes that were wet from both sweat and unshed tears, hiding the evidence of her distress.

"N-Nothing"

"Kaylz..."

"Stiles, please-" she begged, "-don't. Don't go there"

He bit down on his bottom lip, contemplating what she was pleading with him, weighing up his wondering with her apparent unease and decided he could drop it if that's what she wanted.

"Okay" he whispered, shimmying back down on the bed so he was lying propped up on his elbow next to her, his hand moving from her chest down to circle her waist, "are you sure you're alright though?"

No... No she wasn't but she couldn't admit that.

"Yeah... Yeah I'm fine" she whispered, feeling all sticky and yucky as she was drenched through with sweat, the sheets and covers around her damp to the touch, "sorry for waking you"

He smiled, leaning over to kiss her cheek, "you don't ever have to apologise for waking me" before twisting around to grab some tissues from the bedside table, pulling a few free before gently dabbing at her forehead, wiping away the sweat as she lay there, propped up a little with the fluffy pillows.

She thanked him when he was done, feeling a little better as he scooted closer to her side, leaning his head on her shoulder, his arm around her waist as his lips moved soothingly along the curve of her neck - the exact same place where she remembered the nogitsune's lips were.

She tensed a little but shook it off, pushing it away - this was Stiles, here and now, not the nogitusne, she needed to keep that in her mind. So she pretended she was fine, lifting a hand to stroke through his gelled hair.

That nightmare was her subconscious screaming at her that she did know what was going on, it was just looked away with the endless trauma she had hidden. And now she knew, for absolute certain, what was happening.

Stiles was unraveling, hard and fast and constant.

But she didn't judge him for it - everyone had darkness in them, some more than others, but now she only realised exactly how much, even without the nogitsune's mark.

Did he have more bad in him than good?

Did she fall for the bad guy, yet again? Because that always seemed to be her type whether she liked it or not.

She hoped she was wrong, she really did, but for the first time she was uncertain.

She was uncertain in _him_.

* * *

"Still feel nothing?"

She shook her head glumly, getting agitated the more time passed and she couldn't feel anything from the hips down, starting to get more and more worried that she would never walk again.

Stiles sighed too in disappointment, slowly bending her knee the way the physiotherapist had instructed, something about keeping the muscles strong to stop them weakening and Stiles was doing a great job, patiently doing her leg exercises for her in hopes of bringing back feeling.

"Soon babe" he promised, trying to remain upbeat as he gently laid her right leg down on the bed, making his way to the other side of the bed and start exercising her left leg, offering her up a smile, "I totally know you're going to heal"

"Yeah... Maybe"

"No, no maybes" he insisted positively, "you're gonna beat this okay?"

She smiled gently, "sure... Yeah, of course" she nodded, "just take a couple more days to uh... To heal I guess"

"That's the spirit" he winked, bending her knee again before extending it back out, "but if you wanna take a break and take a walk around the hospital... Well..." He realised his choice of words and went bug eyed and just his innocence and caught with his hand in the cookie jaw expression was enough to make her chuckle.

"And by walk you mean wheel me around like an invalid, Hm?" She teased, snorting as he just shrugged.

"Well... It would get you out of bed..."

"That sounds nice" she mumbled, pulling herself to the edge of the bed and was fully prepared to get herself in the wheelchair by herself but before she could fall out of bed, Stiles had scooped her up, spun her around and placed her gently in the chair.

"You quite enjoy this, don't you?" She asked with a smirk, "this whole being able to take care of me thing?"

He leaned down, placing his hands on the arms of the chair as he shrugged a shoulder, "maybe a little" he smirked, "I enjoy being with you so..."

It was moments like this she saw no evil in him, no badness just love and care and total loyalty. There was no way he would turn total psycho, would he?

Her lips quirked, reaching up to cup his cheeks and bring him further forward, tilting her head up to capture his lips as he stumbled a little at the sudden change but soon sank into the kiss, threading a hand through her hair, his tongue caressing her own as she hummed out a gentle moan into his mouth, her entire body coming alive.

He was different to the nogitsune because she could feel how much he loved her, it was apparent even in the way he kissed her - so carefully yet passionately, totally invested in conveying how much he cared for her, taking his time to make her feel good.

His lips slowed down, pulling back a little to gaze at her in amazement - amazement that she actually initiated a kiss that wasn't forceful or dominant or only there to lead to sex, he couldn't quite put his finger on it but he felt something from her - something he last felt before she died.

"Uh... Yeah, um... Wow..." He mumbled, "uh... I didn't expect a thank you quite like that"

She smirked, "blame the paralysis for the extra sap"

He snorted, "sure Kaylz, cos' it's totally just the paralysis"

"Is so"

He chuckled, pressing another kiss to her forehead before disappearing behind her and suddenly lurching forward, racing down the hall at 100mph.

Well, not _really_ 100mph but it felt like it, whizzing down the halls as Stiles laughed behind her and just the sound of his happiness and glee was enough to make her smile.

It was at times like this, things felt okay - normal even.

If only things would stay that way.

* * *

Later that night, Stiles popped home for a shower, some fresh clothes and to have some late dinner with his dad and she was thoroughly bored out of her mind.

Well, she would have rather have stayed bored than have an unexpected visitor walk in without even so much as a knock.

She quirked a single brow, "Malia, for what do I owe the pleasure?"

Malia did not look happy (well, was she _ever_ happy?) but walked in and shut the door behind her, leaning against it with a thoughtful look on her face.

"I want answers"

"For that you need to ask a question" she said slowly as if Malia was five, "or have they not taught you that yet?"

The werecoyote glowered at her, "still can't walk?" She mocked angrily, "how's that for a question for you?"

Kayla smirked, actually seeing some of herself in Malia - that angry, blunt, fuck everyone kind of nature and she liked it. She liked that fierceness. Maybe it was a Hale thing, or maybe that was a Peter coming out in them, who knows.

"Still paralysed" she confirmed, "thanks for the concern" she added sarcastically, pointing to the plastic seat next to the bed, "and how about you sit down? Let's be civilised, Hm?"

Malia continued to glare at her but stalked forward slowly, not taking her eyes off her as she yanked the seat away from the bed so it scraped across the floor before throwing herself into it, crossing her arms over her torso.

"How long did you know?" Malia asked, "about us being... related?"

"Just before I died" she replied, "I overheard Lydia telling Peter - the kitchen window was open. But I didn't really think about it - we were about to go into Stiles' head, try and free him from the nogitsune, then Lydia got kidnapped and just when we saved her, Allison died. A new found half sister was the least of my worries then"

Malia pursed her lips, "I wish they didn't hidden it from me"

"Hide" she corrected, "you wish they didn't _hide_ it from you"

Malia narrowed her eyes in dismay, "how many people have you killed?"

"I've lost count" she replied with honestly, "fifteen? Twenty? Possibly? Maybe more"

Malia frowned, "you don't look guilty"

"Some of them deserved it" she admitted, "other didn't maybe but... I don't know. Clearly I'm too fucked up in the head to really care"

"Maybe it's genetic" she wondered, "the killing thing. It was because of me the car crashed and... and my family died"

"I don't believe that" Kayla shook her head, "killing isn't imbedded into anyone's DNA's. We were maybe at a slight disadvantage but it's not engrained into us. It's easy to blame genetics for a lot of things but we can't blame it for this . It was our responsibility and our choice. It was... It was my choice" she added, "and if I ever become normal again then that is something I'm going to have to live with, knowing I killed people in cold blood. It has nothing to do with genetics"

Malia sighed loudly, "maybe you're right"

"So why have you dropped in past?"

She shrugged, "I don't know" she said simply, "I just... Felt like I needed to"

"You're confused" Kayla recognised, "you want to have a sense of belonging. Trust me, I know that feeling all too well. Doesn't help that our real dad is, well... Peter. He's an asshole by the way, in case you didn't get the memo"

Malia's lips quirked, "I heard he was satan in a v-neck"

"That's pretty accurate actually" Kayla nodded, "much preferred him comatose"

Malia looked slightly less pissed off and a lot more amused.

"Have you talked to your dad about all this?" Kayla asked, "you know, about the whole adoption thing?"

She shook her head, "not yet, should I?"

"If you want answers then hell yeah" Kayla encouraged, "drag them out of him if you need to but you deserve to know the truth. It's not nice finding out your family has lied to you your entire life"

It seemed like, despite Malia clearly hating her, she was starting to understand her. After all, it wasn't just blood they shared, it was circumstances as well. They had both, figuratively, been in the same boat.

"Then I'll talk to him"

"Good for you" Kayla nodded.

"I still don't like you" Malia mumbled bluntly.

"I can live with that" Kayla shrugged, "because I know why you do. I'm not a very likeable person right now. Or _ever_ now that I think about it" she added with a snort.

"You're very selfish"

"Thank you, _really_ " Kayla smirked, her voice oozing sarcasm, "you're _flattering_ me tonight"

Malia rolled her eyes, "I don't like sarcasm"

"That's funny seeming how you were lip locking and grinding on Stiles a few weeks back who, in case you haven't noticed, favours sarcasm above _any_ other tone of speech"

She shrugged a single shoulder, "I didn't do anything wrong"

"No... I suppose you didn't"

"Unlike you who had sex with, well, everyone"

"I didn't do anything wrong there either" Kayla explained, "I was single so I could have sex with who I wanted"

"Even Isaac?"

"Even Isaac" Kayla confirmed, "blondie and I have uh... Let's say some complicated history. There was one point in my life I did contemplate fucking him, and he spend the last year drooling over me so at least we've cleared the air now"

"At least you're truthful about it"

"Yeah, well... Lies get people no where"

"I better go" Malia said suddenly, no build up just straight into the bluntness as she stood, "I have math homework"

"Have fun with that" Kayla muttered dryly, "I heard how much you hate maths"

"I do. I hate it. It makes no sense" Malia ranted, "I don't understand why there's numbers and letters in one formula, that's not maths, it's gibberish"

"It's algebra" Kayla smiled, "catch you later"

Malia just nodded, heading straight to the door just as Stiles slipped through with two coffees in his hands and almost spilled them, jolting back before they could bump into one another.

"Uh... Hey Malia"

"Stiles" she inclined her head and then was gone, whisking herself away down the corridor.

"She's a strange girl that one"

"Yeah..." Stiles agreed, "I suppose she is" shaking his head a little at Malia's abrupt departure before making his way over, smiling as he handed her the coffee, "don't worry, I remembered the six sugars"

"Thank god" she exclaimed, nursing the cup in her hands, "it masks the disgusting taste of this hospital shit. I'm considering upping it to eight sugars actually"

Stiles went bug eyed, "yeah no... Probably best not to do that. The last thing we need is you dropping dead. Again"

She snorted, moving over a little for him to climb into bed but as he did, him being his usual clumsy self, he accidentally spilt his coffee which was filled to the rim, the dark liquid sloshing over the bed covers around her legs.

"Oh crap, sorry" he rushed out, jumping up to grab some tissues but she was too busy staring down at her legs in awe to notice, the breath getting knocked from her chest, "let me go ask the nurse for some new sheets-"

She grabbed his arm, nails sinking into his bare skin as shock surged through her veins.

"Kaylz...?"

"It's okay" she whispered, "don't worry about it"

He frowned in confusion, "do you like swimming in coffee or...?"

She smiled in relief, feeling that painful burn prickle the skin on her legs and felt like bursting into song.

"I can feel it" she murmured, prying her gaze away from the coffee stained sheets to Stiles' surprised stare, "it burns but-but I don't care cos' I can feel it"

He broke out into a wide smile, letting out an exhilarated laugh as he lunged forward to press a quick but gleeful kiss to her lips, "see? See I told you you'd be fine. Stiles is always right, remember?"

She rolled her eyes but never dropped her smile but for someone who was heartless, she sure was showing a hell of a lot of heart lately, wasn't she?

* * *

Natália walked down the row of headstones, her face set into a determined scowl as the shovel and axe trailed behind her. She was furious. No, she was _beyond_ furious. She was wrathful, like a turbulent hurricane.

How dare she! _How dare she!_

They had breathed new life into her and this was how she repaid them? By killing one of her own? Selfish, ungrateful _bitch_. Andrés didn't deserve to die yet that stupid little bitch didn't even flinch as she took his life.

Natália wasn't going to stand for that. She would take her revenge like the vindictive person she was, whatever it took.

She reached the headstone she was looking for, her ruby red lips pulling back into a smirk as she gazed at the perfect gold writing carved into the small onyx stone, scoffing at the writing.

"What a dumb bitch. The kid is dead, not on a play date" rolling her eyes as she dropped the shovel, taking a hold of the handle of the axe, feeling strength and power surge through her muscles, ready to take her first strike.

"It's not your fault your mother is a bitch, I suppose" she mused, "but, emotionless or not, she'll still have that maternal instinct inside her and this is going to hurt her. You're just a bag of bones, so it's not like it's going to hurt _you_ "

She thought no more about it as she took her first strike, the axe completely splitting the headstone in half.

"Your mother-" she took another strike, chipping away at the marble as it cracked apart like broken glass, "-killed my cousin... She defied us, little one-" kicking away a large lump of marble in glee, "-if it wasn't for her, you could rest in peace. Your mother did this to you" striking again so the axe cut through the words 'beloved' and 'daughter' and when she was happy with her work she let the axe slip through her fingers, smirking in accomplishment.

' _Mia hale,_

 _Beloved daughter,_

 _Up playing with the Stars'_

That touching, heartfelt tribute was now in smithereens, beautiful black marble destroyed and the words once inscribed on the stone where now almost unreadable.

Natália leaned down, grabbing the shovel and began digging.

It wasn't hard to track down where she was buried. It was just a case of driving all the way to Arizona to do the deed but, now here, Natália was so happy she went down this route of revenge.

After all, what was more painful than messing with someone's dead daughter? It was sick. But it was so beautifully genius on Natália's part, she was actually rather proud of herself.

So she dug. Then she dug and she dug some more until the metal of the shovel collided with the lid of a wooden coffin and she quickly scraped away the loose dirt, digging out around the small coffin until it was free from the grip of the mud and leaned down, picking up the white wooden coffin which wasn't bigger than the length of her arm, now smudged with mud and beginning to crack apart.

"I'll babysit you a for a while, Hm?" She murmured, smirking in total delight, "let's see what mommy thinks about that"

Her plan was so perfect. So brilliant. If she wanted to get under that bitch's skin, then this was the way to do it.

"Here" she called out to the figure hidden from view, the one she knew had been watching her and following her around like a loyal pup, "come and take your dead niece off me, the last thing I want is to smell like dead babies"

She heard the crunch of boots as the figure inched closer, obeying her because he had no choice, not really. She was the first and only person he had seen since returning. He was confused and vulnerable, something she exploited perfectly.

If she couldn't have that Hale on their team because she turned out to be a disloyal bitch, then she would just have to settle for the other one, even if he was a werewolf. But it was the name that mattered. The name Hale. That family, whether she wanted to admit it or not, were strong and powerful, they would make the perfect addition to any pack.

His head popped over the edge of the dug out grave, a mortified look twisting his young handsome features, "what you're doing... It's wrong"

She rolled her eyes, dumping the coffin next to his feet as she crawled from the hole, "listen here... I _own_ you" she snarked, grabbing the collar of his jacket and jolting him forehead, "I brought you back which means you do what _**I**_ tell you. No ifs, buts or maybes. If I tell you to carry the damn coffin.. _Then carry the damn coffin"_

He flinched, recoiling like he had been shot, shaking at the intensity of her tone of voice and nodded, dropping to his knees but before picking it up he glanced up at her in confusion.

"Is this really... What did you mean by niece...?"

"I mean your slut of a sister opened her legs and ended up giving birth to a dead baby at fifteen, that's what I mean" she rolled her eyes, "should've just left her dead" she added with a displeased mumble, "the amount of crap she's caused us..."

He gulped, turning a sickly grey colour as his hands began shaking, not wanting to do this, to follow her orders, finding all of this too hard to process but she sent him a glare and he knew if he didn't do what she asked the consequences would be severe.

"Get it together David, otherwise I'll put you right back in the ground I helped you rise from"

That offended him, igniting a deep surge of annoyance from within.

"It's _Dylan_ " he stated, "Dylan Hale" he rose to his feet slowly, glowering at the brunette beauty in front of him, "and _don't you dare_ speak about my sister like that" his eyes glowed a bright blue, "or you'll regret it"

Natália smirked slyly, "that's the attitude. Now hurry up" she snapped and just her sharp tone made him want to bury himself in the earth to escape her, "we've got a long trip ahead of us"

 **A/n) Hahahaha BET U WERENT EXPECTING THAT WERE YOU lmaooooo but yay cute stayla and yayyyy Malia, she's my fav lol but I hope you all enjoyed and please please review, they mean the world they really do and I'll see you all real soon ha X**


	37. Chapter 37 - Sex tape

**Disclaimer; teen wolf is no mine folks - wow you guys are all awesome for all those reviews it means so much and a massive and thankful shoutout to Ashleymcd25, x xRoweenaJAugistine X x, BeccaSco, Peachy48, WickedlyMinx, sive, Linda96, hope, Amandalucia, sive, guest, guest and dark Angel assassin you all rock hope you enjoy X**

Paige didn't think of herself as a bad person. She had done bad things, some worse than others, and some people may call her narcissistic and high maintenance, many thinking she thought of herself above others because of her upbringing but that wasn't the case. She just wanted to fit in and be normal. Her dad may be a surgeon and her mom an estate agent of luxury homes, and they did have a lot of money to fall back on, but she wasn't stuck up.

So when her doorbell rang she waited for one of her parents to answer the door but when it rang again just a few seconds later, she assumed they were out.

"Coming" she called, huffing a little as she pushed herself up off her bed and padded from her room, along the spacious hallway covered with family photos and down the spiral staircase, forgetting she was in her silk dressing gown as she opened the door.

"Can I help-oh" she cut herself off with a surprised murmur, seeing Isaac standing on her doorstep with his hands stuffed in his pockets, dipping his head a little as if to appear shorter and more vulnerAble, his boyish looks catching her off guard for a moment, "um... What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk. Alone. So I waited for your parents to leave" he explained, "can I come in?"

She pulled her short dressing gown around herself a little tighter, not failing to notice his baby blues falling to her bare legs, "I guess" she sidestepped, letting him in, the smell of his cologne washing over her as she brushed past her, "just make it quick"

"Okay uh..." He faced her, a sudden nervous look twisting his features, "I just wanted to apologise. Again" he added, "what I did was stupid and wrong and I understand why you're hurt and mad at me, I don't blame you"

She sighed heavily, folding her arms over her chest, "I get it Isaac, you're sorry. You've said that to me before, but that doesn't change what you did"

"... I know it doesn't" he whispered, a crestfallen expression morphing his features, "but I need you to know how really sorry I am. I regret it"

"Do you?" She whispered, voice cracking a little, "do you really?"

He frowned, "of course I do. Sleeping with Kayla was never meant to happen" he reached out, taking her small hands in his, "it just did, I'm not even going to make up any excuses for it. The blame is on me. Kayla's... She's not right just now, her judgement is all over the place but I was the one that had the power to stop it and I never and I'm going to have to live with that... And if you hate me for it... I'll understand, but... But I really hope that you'll give us another chance?"

She drew back at that, sending him a surprised look, "another chance?" she repeated his phrase, totally awestruck and dumbfounded, "you think I want to get back with you after you slept with my friend, regardless if we were technically together or not?"

His face fell, disappointment etched onto his expression, "it was just sex"

He rolled her eyes, "it wasn't ' _just_ ' sex and we both know it. You only want me back because you can't have her, like I'm some kind of consolation prize"

"That's not true" he shook his head fiercely, "I'm figuring it out now"

"Yeah, well-" she rolled her eyes bitterly, "-you took your damn time"

"... I know" he whispered, "but what I said is true, I promise"

She brushed past him, moving towards her large livingroom and sat down on the sofa, pulling her legs to her chest to wrap her arms around them, "no... You love her, you always have even if you didn't know it, all the back to stupid gummy rings. Stop messing with me... Please..."

He inched forward, perching himself at the end of her coffee table so they were almost knee to knee, "Paige... I'm not messing with you. I would never do that. If I wasn't sure about us then I wouldn't be here hurting you"

She glanced up, tears in her eyes, "... But you love her..."

"No" he shook his head, "I don't. Not really. Kayla is... Was... Is my best friend, and yeah, I did have feelings for her, maybe still do a little - I don't know - but she made me realise something the other day... Something I pretended I didn't feel for so long because I was scared... Paige-" she shook her head, her wide eyes trained on him, "-I... I love you"

She was staring at him like she hadn't seen him before, unable to move, unable to say even two simple words. The words she had craved to hear for so long, he had said, but why? Was he lying? Was he pressured? Would she just be another rebound because the one he truly wanted was out of reach? She didn't know and that _terrified_ her.

He sent her a soft smile, "what we had was good before I fucked it up. Before I... I slept with someone else but what happened then... It wasn't soft, or gentle, or loving... It was harsh and fast and was meaningless and I wish I... I wish I lost it with you instead" he admitted, dropping his head a little, "someone I love - not someone I... I was probably borderline obsessed with even if I didn't recognise it at the time..."

"Isaac..."

He glanced up, bright blue eyes settling on her.

"Do you mean it?"

He nodded, being wholeheartedly honest with her, "I do. I love you... And I just hope, one day, you can forgive me"

She hoped that too. She liked Isaac, she would even say she loved him but she didn't want to tell him that, not yet... She couldn't give her heart away too easily, especially after everything that had happened.

She leaned forward, cupping his cheeks, "do you promise not to ever do anything with Kayla ever again?"

He nodded quickly, "I promise... She's my friend, that's it. Her and Stiles they're-they're good together. I wouldn't ruin that and I wouldn't ruin us. Never again Paige, I promise"

She had been hurt so many times, she didn't know if she could take that chance again.

But if she didn't... If she didn't take that chance she knew she would regret it for the rest of her life. If she didn't give Isaac another chance, she would look back and wish she had. So she just simply cupped his cheeks tighter, bringing him forward into a slow sweet kiss which seemed to shock him as he froze up, staring at her with wide eyes until she pulled him closer, causing him to stumble off the coffee table and clumsily hover over her on the couch, his hands placed on either side of her head.

He had missed being with her, having her love and affection and found himself sinking deeper into the passion, rolling his body against hers as she raked her nails down his t-shirt clad back, slipping her hands around to unbuckle his belt and he froze, pulling back to cock a brow. He didn't want her to think she had to, or this was the only thing he wanted because it wasn't. He wanted her, sex or no sex.

"Uh..." He glanced down, watching her fingers slyly slip the zipper down, "are you sure?"

She nodded against the arm rest, blonde curled hair pooled around her as she peered up at him, "one hundred percent" pushing his jeans slightly off his hips before opening up her dressing gown, her pink bra and matching thong now obvious as his eyes widened in amazement, "just.. No more Kayla okay?"

He nodded, swooping down to smother her insecurities with a breathtaking kiss, causing Paige to moan and arch her back, wrapping her legs around his hips to pull him closer, aching to feel every inch of him.

And that was how they kinda, sorta, _maybe_ , got back together. Passionate, slow sex on her couch and it was a miracle her parents never came home to find them in this compromising position. They had both had sex before just not with each other, desperate to make each other feel good and they did - Paige actually felt loved and wanted, she never really felt that with Harry and Isaac felt like he wasn't just led astray and taken for a joyride or being used.

He collapsed on top of her, unable to catch his breath as he buried his face into her bare chest, gulping back mouthfuls of air as sweat tingled their bodies, both seeing stars.

"Oh wow" Paige mumbled, stroking his bare muscled back.

"Yeah" he mumbled, a smile pulling at his lips as he leaned up on his elbows and kissed her, "that was amazing"

He shifted a little, pushing himself up on his palms as Paige took a quick glance down at their bare bodies, confusion tugging at her brows, "uh... Did you pull out?"

Isaac paled, whipping his head down to between her legs where he was still buried deep, savouring the high he felt, "... No... Was I supposed to?"

"You weren't wearing a condom so yeah, pulling out is generally the next line of defence"

"Crap, sorry" he rushed out, pulling back and sitting to wince loudly, "I forgot. I've never pulled... Out... Before..." He trailed off, mentally slapping himself upside the head as she pursed her lips, no doubt not needing the image of him cumming inside his best friend in her head at this specific moment in time, "uh... Whoops"

She rolled her eyes but smirked none the less, "it's fine, I'll sort it. Want to take this upstairs?"

"Do I...? Uh yeah" he laughed, grabbing her hand and pulling her up off the couch, both running up the stairs in glee.

* * *

"Whoa, whoa, hey there, I got you" Stiles rushed out, catching her just as her legs gave way, "take it easy okay? You only got feeling back last night, as in _twelve_ hours ago-" he emphasised as of she wouldn't remember that, "-don't push yourself"

"I need to push myself, I'll heal quicker" she insisted but allowed him to guide her back to bed, sitting her on the edge.

"Not necessarily" he counter claimed, "it might make it worse. We've got plenty of time"

"Yeah, says the guy that can walk" she grumbled, crossing her arms stubbornly, "it's been like four days"

"Patience Kaylz"

"Screw patience" she said indignantly, "I need to get out of here"

"Whoa, no" he placed his hands on her shoulders, keeping her still and seated, "rest for a bit then we'll try again in an hour with _crutches_ this time, alright?"

"Not alright" she pursed her lips, "you do know how much I hate hospitals, right?"

"I'm aware" he smirked, "but they have free jello, that's a plus right?"

She shrugged, "a minuscule one, I guess"

He chuckled, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead as he excused himself to the bathroom, grabbing her a wet facecloth to wipe away the build up of sweat on her forehead and around her neck from her exhausting effort trying to walk, but before he could return, his phone beeped alerting him to a Facebook notification and he curiously opened it, not recognising the person who sent it, just realising it was someone the year above him in school by the name of Carter Wright and frowned as the person copy and pasted him a link.

It could be a virus. Or spam. Or some kind of hack, but Stiles' curiousity won out and he clicked on it, turning down the volume a little as the link took him to some kind of porn site (one he hadn't visited, yeah, shocker right?) and he frowned as the video loaded, wondering what the hell this guy was on.

But it all became apparent when it started and he paled, his hand tightening around the phone.

The last thing he expected was to see his girlfriend - yeah, he said girlfriend, regardless if Kayla agreed with that label or not - on her knees sucking some other guy's cock. She knew she got around the block a bit, but this? He was shocked, the colour drained from his face.

Then up popped another message from that guy, Carter, 'hey bro, that your ex? Cos damn she good' and he felt like snapping his phone in half, prying his eyes away from the POV shot video of whoever that dick belonged to, not wanting to see her deepthroating him, that image forever burned in his brain.

'No it's not. Now fuck off' he typed back, not even remembering the face cloth as he strode back into the room, his phone still held tightly in his hand.

"You good?" Kayla asked, noticing his distress as she shuffled closer to the edge of the bed, her legs dangling off the edge, "you look a little... Mad"

Mad? Mad? No, he was enraged, kinda hating Kayla a little for letting some strange guy take that video but feeling uncontrollable fury at the guy that acted like a complete and utter twat and decided to upload it online. Didn't he realise, or care, that if anyone found out that was Kayla - despite only seeing the top of her head and part of her face - then her reputation would be ruined even more than it already was? If he found out who that was he would snap his puny little neck-

"Stiles?" She called out, quirking a brow, "what's up?"

"Nothing" he denied, his voice tense and shaky, "absolutely nothing"

She didn't believe him, not one bit, casting a curious look to his phone it looked like he was cracking, waiting for him to get close enough so she could snatch it, quickly opening up the last page he had open.

"Kayla, what are you doing-"

She leaned back, avoiding his hands as she watched a random video starting to play, raising her brows as she watched herself, almost unrecognisable, sucking off some random stranger, "where did you get this?"

He stole his phone back before she could watch anyone, pocketing it away, "someone sent it to me"

"Huh" she pursed her lips a little. "Maybe I do have a future in porn after all" joking a little, brushing away what she just saw.

He rolled his eyes, "don't joke Kayla, this is serious"

She quirked a brow, "how?"

"How?" He repeated, "what do you mean _how_? Did you seriously not just see what I saw?"

"Yeah, I saw myself giving someone a blowjob - with rather good technique I might add - why is that a problem?"

He gaped at her, "it's a sex video"

"Yeah..." Not really understanding his anger, "we used to make them all the time"

"That was different" he insisted through clenched teeth, "we were in a relationship and no one else saw them, certainly not thousands of deranged pervs jerking off behind a computer screen - what if he forwards this to the whole school? Don't you care if people see this?"

"... You're ashamed of me" she muttered in afterthought, a few seconds after his initial exclamation as her confused stare soon turned into a mild glare, "it has nothing, or little, to do with the actual video, you're just scared people find out it's me, aren't you? Not exactly the most appropriate girl to have around or Christmas dinner - the one that goes around sucking cocks for the fun of it"

"Maybe, yeah" he shouted, "because it's bad enough I have to face going to school every day and seeing 'Johnstone' or 'Kieren Willis' or any other person you hopped right on and try and keep my cool when all I want to do is punch them"

"Who cares?" She exclaimed right back at him, "who cares who sees? I don't. It's not worth it. Sex is totally natural, and the sooner people accept that, the better"

He narrowed his eyes, "so should I expect any more sex tapes to emerge from the cracks and make an appearance?"

She shrugged bitterly, "I don't know. Can't exactly remember every person I fucked, _remember_?"

He rolled his eyes, "I need a walk - clear my head"

"Yeah, well-" she scoffed, "-lucky for some" watching him walk away from her to calm down and slam the door behind him and she picked up the nearby jug of water, throwing it at the door so that it cracked apart and water spilled all over the floor.

" _Asshole_ " she shouted in anger, glad he had left if that was going to be his attitude, stubbornly pulling herself forward by her arms so she could place her numb feet on the floor, determined now more than ever to walk just to defy him. He wanted her to rest well she damn well wasn't going to do that. Screw that - screw him.

So she pulled herself up, holding onto the bedside table to stabilise herself as she put a single foot forward, her leg wobbling but just managed to do that without falling, inching her other foot forward but that leg was considerably weaker and it gave way under her, causing her to drop to the floor like a stone, taking the table down with her.

" _Dammit_ " she exclaimed in anger, slamming her palms off her thighs with a loud slap, "just start working for the love of God!"

And it was then she got the call.

The call that changed everything.

She was trying so damn hard to be good, to be the person she was and no one seemed to recognise she was trying her hardest. Stiles still got mad at her, Isaac wasn't really talking to her and her so called friends hadn't even shown up to visit - what more did she have to do?

Because being soft just got her hurt and confused, attacked and raped and this being 'good' was starting to lose its appeal.

She grunted as she slid along the floor, grabbing her cracked phone and swiped answer, snapping out a harsh "yeah?"

"Miss Hale?"

"I said _yeah_!"

"We're from the police force in Oak Bridge, Arizona - I'm sheriff Woods"

She had a daunting feeling in the pit of her stomach but ignored it, "yeah, and? Should I be impressed?"

He didn't appear put off by her tone, not in the slightest, "I'm sorry to tell you that your daughter uh... Mia-" she heard the rustling of papers as he double checked her name, "-her grave has been defiled"

She subconsciously tightened her hand around the phone, muttering out a simple word, "how?"

"The headstone was broken and her grave had been dug out. Miss Hale-" god she really hated that formal tone, "-I'm really sorry to tell you that... That her bones have been stolen. An investigation is under way and we will try our hardest to-"

She didn't hear the rest, the phone slipping from her grasp and, for the first time in so long, she felt absolute raging agony soar through her veins, igniting this deep sense of maternal protectiveness she thought long gone.

In response, her eyes flared a bright dangerous green, new found power surging through her broken and battered body as the clouds overhead darkened, heavy rain starting to pelt down.

But despite this, this enraged bitterness and anger, a lone tear caught on her bottom eyelid but she swiped it away before it could fall.

If anyone messed with her daughter, they were messing with her and Kayla always - _always_ \- got her own back. This time was no different.

And just as the clouds erupted and her anger and distress pooled from her in strong waves, Stiles was outside the hospital, taking long strides around the car pack to try and chill out a bit, knowing he was getting pissed way too easily these days but having no control over it - not really. Better he excuse himself from the situation than make things worse by getting angry. That would help no one.

Except he was angry. Still was, even now he was out in the fresh air. He hated everyone she slept with and he hated her for acting so casual about it, still not having the capacity to understand why it set him on edge.

He stopped walking just outside the entrance, near a couple of benches and swiped the sweat away from his forehead, feeling a curious pair of eyes on him and glanced around, trying to pinpoint who they belonged to and found out just a few seconds later, his gaze clashing with a girl's, probably no older than himself and she flushed a deep red, dropping her stare.

He gave a little awkward wave before turning back to his phone, pursing his lips as he eyed up the Facebook notification, not wanting to click on the link again because he was jut torturing him but he did, biting his lip as he watched the video again. And again. Then again. A pool of fiery anger and jealousy churning in the pit of his gut.

It just reminded him how badly she was screwed up, and a week of sharing her bed wasn't going to change that.

If she wanted to shrug this off then that was her choice but he didn't have to like or agree to it and he certainly didn't, clicking his phone shut after watching that crude video for the eighth time, trying to tune out the guy's moans and filthy words as he sighed, turning on his heel to appear next to the girl that was eyeing him up earlier, not really sure what he was doing but just knowing he needed to not think for a little while before his mind collapsed.

"Hey" he said abruptly, sticking his hand out as her eyes widened, "I'm Stiles"

She gaped, gingerly placing her hand in his to shake as her cheeks continued to darken.

"Oh u-uh... Sophie"

"Want a coffee?"

Her eyes were wide but she nodded, smiling a little at him and Stiles just extended his arm, "ladies first"

* * *

Natália was pleased with her work, circling the tiny coffin placed on the rickety old table of the motel she was staying in, pursing her lips in thought.

"I could burn your bones" she thought out loud, "or weigh you down at the bottom of the ocean so your mother will never find you. Or I could keep you locked away, tormenting her for the rest of her miserable life. I haven't decided yet"

She tapped her fingers along the pale and broken wood, "or maybe... Better yet... She should see you. All bones and nothing else, I imagine that would hurt her would it not?"

She didn't know how exactly but Natália was confident that by using her daughters bones against her, she could destroy that arrogant bitch and that... That made her incredibly happy, smirking down at the coffin.

"Maybe you'll be reunited with your mom after all" she smirked, "after I kill her and believe me, little one, that will happen, sooner rather than later"

 **a)n) bit shorter than usual but I'm swamped and tired and have to get up at 5:45 now I'm back at uni and I fell asleep writing this chapter last night and have finished it just Before I head to uni lol But I hope you all enjoyed and I would appreciate want feedback I live on reviews haha thanks peeps and see you soon x**


	38. Chapter 38 - Scotty

**Disclaimer: teen wolf is not mine - whoa, you guys 333333 you're all so lovely for favouriting and following and reviewing including hope, Ashelymcd25, Senjaninja, x XRoweenaJAugustineX x, guest (ya I seen the trailer it's badass af and I cannot wait eeeeek) linda96, peachy48, TheMysteriousPerson -0-'-0, BeccaSco and EllieDragon you're all amazing and I love you but I'm sorry for this chapter yall gonna hate me haha but enjoy X**

Stiles wasn't really sure what he was doing. All he really knew was that he needed to calm down and pronto, not wanting to completely lose it like it seemed he was going to. He knew he was getting more angry and out of control lately but didn't really see it as a massive problem - he knew he could control it, he had the willpower, but didn't recognise it escalating, and if he did he pushed it back, pretending what was happening wasn't real. That it was just a bad dream. An exaggeration. And he was so pissed and riled up, he knew talking to a complete stranger would keep him calm and rational, obviously not wanting to hurt anyone and definitely not some innocent girl.

They headed towards the hospital cafeteria and Stiles only just now realised how small the girl was, probably no more than five foot tall, maybe even less, with a dainty body that looked like the slightest touch of a feather would knock her over, her long blonde hair left wavy and natural with a face free from make up apart from some dark mascara coating her lashes, her cheeks still burning a bright red.

"Sorry" he apologised as they walked side by side, "was I being too forward back there?"

"Oh um... n-no, not all" she had a thick australian accent, he just realised, "I was just mortified you caught me staring"

He smirked, "I don't recognise you from school"

"I'm homeschooled" she informed him, "we live just outside town, in the caravan park?" and he nodded, letting her know she was following along, "we only moved here a couple years back"

"From Australia?"

Her smile was wide, two cute dimples showing on her cheeks, "is it that obvious?"

"Just a little" he joked, "from whereabouts?"

"Melbourne"

"Isn't it really hot over there?"

"Not overly" she toyed with her hands, like she was still a little nervous, "it's next to the ocean so it's a little cooler than other parts. Nice place though"

He pointed towards an empty table and two chairs, following her through the isle to sit down opposite her, "cool, I've never been to Austrailia before - why the move?"

She shrugged, "I guess my parents wanted a change" before deciding to change the subject, squirming a little under his gaze and questions, feeling like she was being scrutinised, "are you here visiting someone?"

"Uh... Yeah" now the tables were turned and Stiles was being placed under the spotlight he got uncomfortable, his left leg bouncing up and down, "my um... My girlfriend"

"Oh" Sophie deflated a little, suddenly feeling incredibly bad for talking to him, "is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's fine" he stated, "we're just not exactly on the best of terms at the moment"

"Why's that?"

"... You got all night?" he joked feebly but, to his surprise, she nodded totally seriously, pulling her purse from her shoulder bag.

"I'll get us some coffee, and you can tell me all about it"

He was slightly shocked and in awe at her willingness to listen to him rant, her empathy and understanding. When she returned with the two coffees she slid one over to him, telling him she was all ears.

He couldn't tell her the whole story - _obviously_. There was no way he could say 'oh yeah, and my girlfriend died for two months after getting stabbed through the chest because my doppelgänger, an ancient Chinese spirit, really wanted her dead' without sounding crazy. So he adapted it... Okay, he adapted it _a lot._

He told her how they met, how he fell for her hard and fast but throughout the whole relationship there was times she would pull away, scared of commitment and how he totally understood why but it still hurt him none the less. He spoke about his insecurities, how he constantly felt like she would find someone better - someone stronger, someone better looking, someone with a better social standing. He then said how they lost a baby, how things weren't really the same for a long time after that but they both tried and both stuck through the pain until one day, she left. He never said she died, just that through circumstances out with either of their control she had to leave and some terrible things happened. Things he couldn't repeat even if he wanted to. And that when she came back, she wasn't the same. Unfeeling. Mean. Borderline sociopathic. How she went around sleeping with everyone, regardless of the pain it caused him. How, wherever he looked, he was bound to see one of her many conquers. Especially with Isaac being so close to home. He then spoke about getting back with her, sort of, how he was more than willing to try and resolve things because he loved her more than anything but explained how messed up she was - how she still didn't seem to 'get it', brushing off his worries and hurt because she didn't understand it. How she had promised she would try and fix herself for him, but there didn't seem to be any progress. It was like she wanted to stay this way.

But he wasn't perfect either, he had messed up too and hurt her right back but they had learnt from their stupid teenager mistakes. They were now in an adult relationship, their problems had to be resolved maturely.

Sophie sat patiently, listening to him speak and rant until, before either of them knew, three hours had passed and their coffees had gone stone cold.

"I just... I don't know" Stiles shrugged, dropping his stare to the table, "sometimes it just feels like we're going backwards and I... I don't know how to fix us this time"

Sophie's pale blue eyes were trained on him the entire time, her focus solely pinned on him as she pushed away her coffee, leaning her elbows on the table as she pursed her lips in thought.

"Don't take this the wrong way but uh... It sounds to me like um... Like you need a break" he quirked a brow, "you can love someone and not be in a relationship with them, especially if the relationship, at that moment in time, isn't healthy. There's nothing wrong with putting your needs first"

"Yeah... I guess..." He murmured, "I just... I just really love her, so much it kinda scares me sometimes" he let out a dry chuckle, rubbing at his eyes as tiredness and sadness hit him full force, "and the sad thing is... I know why she's acting this way... It's because she's damaged, but I still get mad at her..."

"You get mad because you care" she formed him gently, "it's passion - you desperately want her back to the girl you knew because you believe in her, but because you feel like she's not trying as hard as you know she's capable of, you get angry. It's simple psychology"

"... You're smart" he smiled a little, causing her cheeks to flame a bright red as she avoided his soft stare, pushing herself back in the wooden seat, "yeah... I guess it is because I know she's capable of more than this. She's amazing... I just don't think she realises it"

"That's common among abuse survivors" his eyebrows shot up, surprised she managed to get that from his long winded ramblings, "it's the way you said stuff" she explained, "I'm guessing physical, emotional and sexual abuse, right?"

"...Yeah..."

"Don't take my word as gospel but uh... Do you want my two cents?"

He nodded, willing to listen to anyone's advice or wonderings if it meant he had, even a clue, of how to help her and understand her better.

"Surviving abuse can, well... It can change a person. Make them 'emotionally impaired' let's say. They may not realise their self worth, or believe in themselves. It's like... I don't know exactly how to explain this, but it's like they have different filters in their brain. So when someone, like yourself, says you love them, their thoughts go through this filter inside their head that says stuff like "I'm not worth their love', 'how can they love me?' Stuff like that. It's common in people with personality disorders, like borderline. Trauma is a horrible thing and it'll never completely go away. I'm not sure, but the things you talked about, her drug abuse, anger issues, lack of self worth, vulnerability at being able to admit she's in love, sexual promiscuity... It sounds like these behaviours are a direct result of the abuse... I think... I think for a seventeen year old girl, she's very damaged, and I think she needs help. Professional help" she added, "because people like ourselves can't possibly understand or fathom what goes through her head or how she thinks, if we try it can do more harm than good"

"... Maybe that's what I've been doing wrong" he mumbled in sickening realisation, "trying too hard to understand and know everything that goes through her without taking a step back and just... And just reassuring her"

She have a small, one shouldered shrug, "do you make her talk about it?"

"What? The abuse?" she nodded, studying him intently, "well, I don't 'make' her, I encourage her to open up to me if she wants to... Let her know that talking helps..."

She winced a little, eyes full of sympathy, "talking does help. Normally. But if someone has suffered trauma that is still effecting them... Sometimes it re-traumatises them" his eyes widened, "over and over and over again. They found that out after 9/11"

"... Oh..." he muttered, his face falling, "I didn't know..."

"Don't worry about it" she reassured, "it's a common misconception. Mental health is a very delicate thing and everyone's different, it's not like a broken arm that can be fixed in a short few weeks. It takes time and effort and commitment and even then, not everyone heals completely. It's sad, but true"

"... I'm sorry you had to listen to all my crap" he apologised with a long sigh, "you probably can't wait to get away from me now, huh?"

"Nonsense" she frowned, "I like talking with you. I just hope it helped"

He nodded, "you did. A lot. And maybe you were right. Maybe Kaylz and I do need to take a break. Since she came back, I've been too focused on having her back as my girlfriend to fully understand or give her time to heal. I can still help and love her, without making her feel guilty about not being able to say it back"

Sophie smiled, "it's evident you do love her. A lot. Not a lot of people would stick by someone and try this hard. I hope it works out for the both of you"

He leaned forward, watching her intently, "I want to keep talking with you, would that be okay?"

Her cheeks, which now seemed to be in a constant state of blush, tingled with heat as she bit her lip, flushing under his unwavering stare, "u-uh s-sure, of course"

"I need to talk to Kayla... Meet me outside?"

"Y-Yeah" her voice came out weak and breathless, her palms getting sweaty as she coughed to clear her throat and forced a smile on her face, "I mean... Yes. Perfect. Um... Okay, yeah" she went to stand up, accidentally knocking over her chair, "crikey uh..." She flushed harder, picking up her chair and avoiding his amused stare, "see you in a bit"

He chuckled a little as she scuttled away, finding it refreshing talking to someone that actively listened and seemed to understand him - he hadn't felt that since before Kayla died, not realising just how truly much he missed it because what she was now, she didn't listen, just acted. Their conversations were superficial, at best. But for the last three hours, he actually felt respected and valued, how sad he had forgotten what that was like.

So he made his way back to Kayla's room, reminding himself to stay calm and not to get mad at her no matter what kind of mood she was in but, as it soon became apparent, that was easier said than done.

"Uh... Hey" he greeted cautiously as he slipped in the room, his eyes widening a little as he saw her standing, "whoa, what are you doing, I thought we agreed you would rest"

Her head whipped around towards him, her fiery glare enough to make him stop in his tracks, " _we agreed?_ _We agreed?_ No Stiles, _you_ pushed your stupid views and opinions on me because, apparently, what you have to say is the word of God"

Okay Stiles, take a deep breath take a deep breath, take a de-

"I was only looking out for you" he snapped, "don't get pissy with me"

Her jaw clenched, her eyes blazing with hellfire, "what are you even doing back? I thought by now you would be in that bitches pants"

He frowned, trying to understand what she meant before it dawned on him, his eyes rolling at her assumption, "so, what? Now I can't even talk to someone?"

"Talk to who you like, I don't care" she was holding herself up by supporting herself with her palms on the bedside table, her legs still wobbling a little but definitely a lot stronger than when he last saw her over three hours ago.

"Why are you so bitter?" he demanded, "it's not a good look on you Kaylz"

"Neither is dead weight hanging off my arm" she snarled, "and you're dead weight. So kindly get the fuck out"

He was totally confused and overwhelmed by her mood changes, not understanding what warranted this type of response, "Kaylz... I need to talk to you"

"Well I don't want to talk to you"

"Kayla-"

" _Stiles_ , get out"

She couldn't do this, she couldn't talk, couldn't look at him, not with the amount of anger and fear pumping through her veins. Her daughter was taken, her body dug up and disturbed from her place of rest - she was furious, reaching boiling point and she needed Stiles to stay away from her at this moment.

She didn't want to disappoint him.

She didn't want to end up hurting him, like she knew she would if he continued pushing into her personal bubble and she couldn't have that.

So she did what she did best.

She pushed him away, keeping him at arms length.

" **No** , you know what?" He stepped forward, ignoring her warning glare, her hackles raising as she resisted physically pushing him away, "not everything's about _you_. When I say we need to talk, I mean we need to talk _now_. No ifs buts or maybes"

"Stiles I already told you to get out, _don't you dare_ make me ask you again-"

"I don't think we should be in a relationship" he interrupted her furious spiel, flinching a little as she twisted around to look at him, such shock and misery twisting her features at his callous, unforgiving tone and deliberately made his voice a little softer, hoping to make her understand where he was coming from, "I mean... I want to be. I want you _so_ bad Kayz but... But it can't work like this. Not when you're... You're the way you are. It's not fair on either of us"

She was lost for words, unable to formulate any real thoughts at this moment in time.

"But I love you... Always have, always will, that's _never_ going to change" he vowed, "and I'm always going to be here for you, helping you... I just think that being together now... It's going to end badly. And we both deserve for it to work, wholeheartedly, when we're both ready but I realise now that... That you're not ready. And it's my fault for pushing you into being back with me, I know that now, but... But I'm still going to be right by your side, helping you with everything you're going through. Together, we can fix you, concentrate on helping you get better without putting our relationship needs first"

She didn't know his words had the power to devastate her so much.

For _weeks_ he pushed and pushed and pushed at her, forcing her to feel things she didn't want to because he wanted them to be together, to live their lives with each other in it and just when she was getting used to being with him, admitting that she loved him, something she never thought capable of her, he dropped her like a bag of stones?

No, fuck that. Fuck _him_. He couldn't _do_ this to her. He couldn't mess with her emotions like this. She had had enough. He was _never_ happy with what he had, always wanting  more and more of her, things that she physically couldn't give him but had tried to.

She always knew that her love for him would completely wreck her, she just didn't know how much.

"Get out" she said quietly, her voice trembling with fury as she tried to hold it together, to keep check of her emotions despite falling apart from the pressure.

He frowned, reaching out for her, "Kaylz-"

She drew back, stumbling into the bedside table to glare daggers at him, "you have been my **biggest** mistake _time_ and _time_ again Stiles, ever since the _moment_ I first laid eyes on you" her voice snarling as she hurled vile and bitter words at him, "I wish to _god_ I had never met you because everything, _everything_ has been your fault. _**Everything**_. And I hate you for it, I do" she nodded, "I _hate_ you"

" _Stop it"_ he snapped, " _stop_ lashing out at me and saying stuff you don't mean. I'm _trying_ to have an adult conversation with you here"

"I _DO_ MEAN IT" she screamed, such wrathful intent burning in her violent tone, "you... You _**asshole**_. How _dare_ you make me fall in love with you again. How fucking _**dare**_ you" she was harsh and unforgiving, her voice as sharp as a whip, "and when you've had enough you just walk away, just like that"

He shook his head, "it's not _like_ that, I'm still going to be here, right by your side-"

"No... _No_ " she shouted, "you can't pick and choose, my emotions are not a fucking game. If you don't want to be with me then that's it, over. Done. _For good"_

"You're acting irrational-"

"You hate me, _admit it"_ she snarled, "admit that some part of you hates me because I enjoyed going around having sex with tens of different people that _weren't_ you. Admit it. Say it. Tell me that's why you despise me - because to you, now I'm just a tainted whore" he flinched, his jaw clenching as he resisted screaming back at her, "you're mad I opened my legs to other people because you thought you were something special well, newsflash, you're not. You're a waste of space"

"Shut up" he warned, pointing an angry finger at her, "I mean it"

"Because-" she continued unforgivingly, "-thirty, forty, maybe even _fifty_ people got a piece of me and you _hate_ that. You _hate_ that I enjoyed myself with other people that wasn't you because you're a jealous, controlling-"

"I SAID _**SHUT UP"**_ he hollered so loudly her ears rang, his cheeks turning a dark red as his eyes darkened, that terrifying evil glint returning to his stare as she clenched her jaw, the words dying in the back of her throat.

"Stop talking about it" he demanded, "I don't want to know how many people you spread your legs for and fucked when you were acting like a slu-" he stopped himself before he could say it, biting back his fury.

"Yeah, that's right" she nodded, "your girlfriend is what society deems a slut. A girl that goes from her back, to her knees to then being on top with five different people a night. A girl that has no dignity or class or self respect. A girl with low standards that will fuck anybody. That's what society thinks of me and now that's what you think of me. But-" she pointed out, "-you didn't have a problem with it when it was your cock I was sucking, or your body I was on top of, did you? So fuck you and your _fucking_ double standards"

She could tell he was trying desperately hard to stop himself from exploding, his arms trembling at his sides, "yeah" he gave her a distasteful glance over, "clearly it was _me_ with the low standards"

That hurt. That hurt _a lot_ but she tried desperately hard not to show it, not willing to show him her weaknesses and vulnerabilities.

"Maybe it was" she agreed quietly, "because all I'm good for is a fuck, right? I mean, that's what everyone thinks. They think they can take what they want and I let them. I let them use me and screw me and do unspeakable things as they video it for the whole world to see" she shrugged, " _so_ happy we've established that" she added half sarcastically, half bitterly as she glared at him.

"I've tried _so_ hard with you Kayla" he shook his head in disappointment, "and you keep throwing it back in my face"

"Maybe because I _hate_ you" she stated coolly, "I hate you and I blame you and I _despise_ having to look at your face and see the nogitsune. Hear my words Stiles, loud and clear-" she leaned forward, making sure she pronounced each word slowly and clearly, "- _I. Don't. Want. You_. Understand?"

He scoffed, rolling his eyes at her, "you're unrecognisable"

"Yeah, well... That's what happens when you go to hell for someone that you wished never stepped foot in your life"

"Don't you _dare_ try and corrupt what we had" his voice was shaking with intensity, " _don't you dare"_

"Why?" she snapped abruptly, "I've lost faith that what we _ever_ had was real"

His bottom lip curled, "I loved you, _even_ when you didn't deserve it"

" _GET OUT"_ she screamed, riled up and seeing red, "just _get out_ and don't come back"

"Believe me-" he scoffed, narrowing his eyes at her, "- I won't" and with that he stormed from her room, making sure to slam the door so harshly it almost came off its hinges, the walls shaking as the loud echo almost pierced her eardrums and she flinched, a sudden sadness coiling in the pit of her stomach.

Why did she keep pushing people away? Was she really that messed up and damaged?

The answer was yes, and she fucking well knew it.

So she limped back to the bed, her legs a little stronger but still unreliable and grabbed her overnight bag, throwing her spare clothes into it and checked herself out against medical advice.

The last place she needed right now was a hospital.

It was drowning herself in a very large bottle of the strongest alcohol she could get her hands on, maybe a few different kinds of illicit drugs and hopefully, fingers crossed, never wake up again.

* * *

His fist pummelled the centre of the steering wheel, loud beeps following this action from the horn honking as he tried to pull himself together, to stay in control, to _stop_ completely losing it as he ran his hands through her hair, his hands shaking with fury and frustration.

"Sorry" he mumbled shamefully, unable to look at the person in the passenger seat out of pure embarrassment and mortification, "I didn't mean to lash out"

"It's okay" Sophie mumbled in understanding, "if anything, it should be me saying sorry. If our talk influenced your decision in any way-"

"No, it's not your fault, promise" he pushed himself up, sending her a small smile, "she just frustrates me so much. And now she wants nothing to do with me..."

"Things will cool down" she reassured, "and they'll sort themselves out"

"No..." He said pessimistically, "they won't. They can't. Not if she doesn't change"

"... I really am sorry" Sophie muttered, realising just how heartbroken he truly was, "but maybe it's for the best?"

"Maybe" he agreed glumly, "we'll soon see. And enough about my crappy situation, I'm being selfish ranting to you, you don't deserve my passive aggressive anger"

"It's alright" she smiled, "I like helping you. I want to"

He quirked a brow at her, "you do?"

"Of course" she inclined her head forward into a gentle nod, "I would love to be a psychologist one day, that's like my dream"

"Well you'll be fab at it"

"You think?"

"You put up with my crap and baggage for the last God knows how long" he joked, "trust me, you're a natural"

She blushed a light pink, "oh um... Well thanks Stiles"

She was nice and caring and listened to him, calm and shy and was everything Kayla wasn't at this moment in time. Maybe that's why he leaned over, cupping her cheek and pressed a slow soft kiss to her lips, half expecting her to push him away but was pleasantly surprised when she gasped in surprise, allowing her lips to part as she reached out to bunch his shirt in her grasp, pulling him further forward.

"If um..." He pushed himself back a little so only their lips were brushing, peeling his eyes open to watch hers slowly flutter open in amazement, "if this is too forward, then just say, but uh... Would you maybe, I don't know, like to um... Like to come back to mine?"

Her blue eyes widened, casting a nervous blue gaze to the hospital past his shoulder, out the window, "but you have a girlfriend..."

"No I don't" he said gently, "not really"

She bit her lip, glancing down at her lap, "I do like you..."

His lips quirked, "then accept my offer"

She was blushing a deep red now, wringing her hands together as she peered up through her eyelashes at him, biting hard on her bottom lip, "o-o-okay"

"Wha- really?" He whispered, suddenly feeling very nervous, "if you don't want to it's chill-"

She cut him off with a peck to the lips, forcing a light smile on her face, "I want to. Why do you think I was looking over at you earlier? It wasn't for your fashion sense"

He chuckled at her shy humour, starting the engine, "okay, cool, my house is like a five minute drive..."

Either it was anticipation or nerves but he made it there in four, pulling up to his driveway and opened the passenger side door for her, watching her jump down and was still taken aback by her small height and stature, making sure he kept it slow as he leaned in for another kiss, one she eagerly responded to.

They somehow made it up his path and through the door, kicking off their shoes by the front door as he dropped his jeep keys to the small table underneath the coat rack, his back getting sore from bending down an entire foot just to keep their lips moulded so slinked his hands down to her thighs, pulling her up so her legs could encircle his waist.

She squealed a little at the sudden movement, an adorable Crimson blush still splattered across her cheeks as she blew some blonde stray hair from her clammy face, fingers gripping onto his shoulders to steady herself at the sudden movement change.

"Sorry" his lips quirked, "you're too small and I was getting backache"

"Ha-ha" she mocked, pretending to be off put by his teasing of her height, "not my fault my parents DNA made me four foot eleven"

He allowed his hands to stay on her thighs, not daring to go anywhere else yet as he walked them both up the stairs, not wanting their lips to separate for a second as he blindly found his bedroom, almost tripping over some dirty laundry on the floor and collapsed onto the bed, pinning her small body beneath his.

Her hands were slightly shaky from nerves as she peeled off his shirt, running her fingers over his tee-shirt clad chest as he pushed himself up, pulling it off by the back of the neck and watched as her chest flushed a light pink, her jugular pumping wildly in her neck as her eyes widened at his bare, toned chest, a noisy gulp escaping her throat.

"Um... Uh... You're um... O-Okay I didn't expect _that_ "

He smirked, reaching out to take a hold of her dainty wrist and guide her palm to rest over his chest, directly between his pecs and felt a sense of proudness as she stared at him in awe, her nails digging into his skin.

"D-Do you work out?"

"Now and again" he replied, shivering a little as her nails gently scratched all the way down his chest slowly, admiring and tracing each bump and crevice in his skin, outlining the shape of his abs before brushing the tips of her fingers through the thick dark hair down his navel.

He held himself up with one hand, his fingers outlining the shape of her petite body as he fiddled with the buttons of her shirt, opening them one by one until more and more of her flesh was on show, her plain nude bra now obvious.

She wasn't big chested, in fact as far as he could see she didn't have much breasts at all but he was still overwhelmed and in awe as his eyes settled on her chest, reaching out to feel along the rim of her bra, wanting desperately to untie it.

"Oh... Um..." He watched her nerves seize hold of her body, totally freezing beneath him, "uh... I haven't... I mean uh... I haven't, you know... Ever..."

His eyebrows shot up, "you're a virgin?"

Even the tips of her ears blushed as she shyly nodded, curling a little under his smouldering stare.

"Oh" he was surprised, trying to catch her gaze again, "it's okay" he whispered, keeping his voice light and gentle, "it's no big deal. I'll be gentle..."

"You will?"

"Of course" he nodded, leaning down to brush his lips across hers, "I like it slow too"

She smiled a little, pushing her nerves away as much as she could as she undid his belt buckle and zipper, hands trembling a little as she pushed him pants off his hips and he helped her, kicking away the offending item before helping her from her own shirt and jeans, leaving her petite body in the plain nude bra and underwear.

"... C-Can I?" his gaze dipping to her chest and despite feeling like she wanted to cower away and cover herself up, she nodded, taking in a deep comforting breath as she allowed him to slowly undo her bra and peel it away from her body.

Her eyes snapped shut, too nervous to see his reaction. She was petite and small, the same went for her breasts. Meaning she didn't have any. Literally - she was an AA cup, and if he was disappointed or put off she certainly didn't want to see it, her self esteem couldn't handle that.

But Stiles wasn't disappointed _or_ put off, his breath stuttering a little as he dipped his head, his cool breath fanning across her flushed and sweaty skin as he reached up, pinching her swollen nipple that was hard and peaked, the brown flesh protruding from the skin like a button, not caring the curve of her breasts was non existent as he wrapped his mouth around her nipple, feeling her back arch a little in surprise.

She was trembling in anticipation, her thighs rubbing together as he slyly trailed a hand down her thin body, pinging the elastic of her underwear before slipping his fingers underneath the fabric, caressing her bare and smooth skin before inching his wet lips across her chest to gently suck on the other nipple, his boner now achingly prominent against her hip.

But he wanted to take his time. He didn't do heartless one night stands, not like Kayla, and this girl's pleasure was more important to him that his, pressing a gentle butterfly kiss to her peaked nipple before pulling back and slowly tugging her underwear down her legs.

If there was one thing he knew girls liked, then this was it - and he knew he was damn well pretty fucking good at it.

She wasn't expecting this, totally caught off guard as his head disappeared between her legs to start sucking and flicking his expert tongue through her folds, the tip of his tongue then beginning to circle her clit in slow, steady circles.

And she honestly didn't expect for something simple to be so good.

Stiles savoured every moment - every jolt of her body, every little squirm, every surprised gasp that fell from her lips when he hit a particularly spot. He dragged it out, groaning at her sweet sweet taste, a sense of accomplishment brewing in his gut that no other person has been here before, no one else had explored her body, not like what he was doing now and he intended to make a lasting impression.

He dragged his tongue down until it was buried deep inside her warmth, reaching out to start rubbing her clit with his thumb, teasing her, bringing her to the edge as she unravelled and he gladly licked up her slick arousal, her tight core pulsating around him.

His mouth pressed fevers not kisses to her entire pussy as she came down from her high, all the way from the inside of her thighs to her swollen pink lips, her flushed clit and to the bare mound of skin just above this where her skin was smooth and hair free, not a single bump or crevice he could feel like she had just been freshly waxed, swallowing the taste of her before sitting up, just about to pull off his boxer shorts but her exhausted and meek and mild voice interupted his actions.

"Stiles, wait... Uh... That was g-great, I mean really _really_ amazing and-and everything but... But I... I just don't think I'm ready to, you know..." She mumbled, "I would love to I just... I don't know if I can just yet. I'm sorry"

He wasn't going to lie - he was a little disappointed, but her comfort was well above his desires and needs.

"It's alright" reassured, adjusting his boxer shorts around his painfully awkward and _very_ obvious cock protruding from the thin material, "I wouldn't want you to do anything just because you feel you have to"

"Y-You're not mad?"

She seemed scared and anxious, her petite body sinking into the mattress.

"What? No, of course not" he collapsed next to her, pulling up the covers which she disappeared under right to her neck, still shy and self conscious, "I promise"

She blew out a long, relieved breath, "thank god... I thought you would be angry at me for stopping"

"Not one bit" he smiled a little, "but you're okay, yeah?"

She nodded, twisting onto her side as he sent her a wink, "then that's all that matters" casting a slightly awkward and irritated look down between his legs, "uh... But you'll have to excuse me to the bathroom, once it's up it won't go back down again and I really don't wanna end up blue-balled, that shit is painful as hell"

* * *

She was so fucking _stupid_.

What a selfish little _bitch_ she was.

 _Weak. Pathetic. Hateful._

She was the epitome of bad choices and mistakes yet she kept making the same ones again and again and again.

She was a complete and utter _joke_.

This is what went through her head as she sat at the crowded bar and downed shot after shot of the strongest liquor - tequila, vodka, absinthe, rum, and she even managed to get the bartender to give her a bottle of spirytus rektyfikowany, some polish vodka with one of the highest percentages of pure alcohol in the world that she couldn't pronounce the name of even if she was sober and sat sipping from the bottle, the sharp burn numbing her emotional pain.

She hated herself. She hated who she was and what she had become more so than anyone else hated her. She literally _despised_ herself, couldn't even bear her own thoughts as company. She had been to hell, but living? That was hell too and she was currently juse managing to stay afloat through it.

She didn't feel too good, her stomach churning and head pounding, her entire abdomen flaring up with pain but she ignored these very obvious warning signs and kept on drinking. Sip after sip. Mixing her alcohols too. Taking some pills of ecstasy and some PCP as well just to shut up the internal war raging on inside her head.

She wanted Stiles. She wanted to be with him. She wanted to be normal and to be with her friends too but this bitter, angry part still hated them. Why did they get to live? It wasn't fair. _It wasn't fair._ They were normal, they were good and happy and she was alone and wrecked. She couldn't keep living like this, especially as the guilt started to come.

She found herself feeling _bad_.

She felt terrible for killing all those people, destroying so many families. She was truly a terrible person, she deserved _everything_ she got at punishment.

Maybe that's why she kept drinking. Because eventually her body wouldn't be able to handle it and she would keel over, dead.

That was the hope anyway.

She downed another gulp, darkness seeping in around the edges of her vision.

She wasn't all heartless. Not like she pretended. In fact, she was very much starting to feel and it was awful. Torturous. Agonising. And now, because of her outbursts and vile words, she had no one. She was all alone and the only person she had to blame was herself.

She was losing her grip on reality, her vision now dark and body sluggish as she heard a vague gruff voice in her ear but she didn't understand it, reaching out for her bottle only to accidentally knock it over and for the little alcohol there was in it to spill out.

She couldn't do anything right, even trying to kill herself. She needed more. She needed _more_ alcohol. She needed to block out _everything_. She just needed not to be here, because being here was _**horrendous**_.

But she felt herself slipping off the stool, a firm hand wrapped around her elbow as she got guided away and between the drunkness and her still weak legs, she had no choice but to follow, her feet crossing as she tripped and stumbled her way forward, only getting a brief sense of awareness when the cool air from outside hit her, her vision clearing slightly.

"Found one" a deep masculine voice called out but she couldn't pinpoint where it was coming from, body swaying as she struggled to stay upright, "Young and as drunk as a skunk, we got lucky tonight"

She couldn't hold herself up any longer, legs giving way as she tumbled to the hard Tarmac below, trying to stay upright from where she was kneeling but she felt terrible, her stomach screaming in agony, her senses all but gone as she felt a presence in front of her, trying to look up, to see who was there, but all she saw was a shadow but despite that, she knew she didn't like this person.

The stranger in front chuckled, "damn, we _did_ get lucky" and she felt cold, grabby hands suddenly ripping at her shirt, "and no princess, we _won't_ be gentle"

Her body careened backwards to hit the Tarmac after he punched her, not even having enough energy to scream or shout as she felt hit after hit, squeeze after squeeze, smack after smack until she was useless and they ripped at her clothes with no mercy, each one climbing on top to roughly use her until she was covered in bruises - many matching unrelenting finger marks.

She didn't even know how much time had passed, or if any time had passed at all, but when she forced herself to come to, her entire body ached, sharp pains shooting throughout every inch of her.

She was face first on the Tarmac in some questionable alleyway, the left side of her face scraped and bloody from the friction of the ground as she slowly pushed herself up until she was kneeling, holding back a wince as she blinked, gazing down at herself.

Her shorts were gone, both her legs bruising varying colours of reds and pinks, her underwear was ripped and torn, her bra gone as well but her shirt was still thrown over her but yanked open, the valley of her bare breasts obvious and shoes missing and with sickening certainly, she knew what happened.

People taking what they wanted, yet again.

But she couldn't cry. She couldn't do anything. Maybe this was her punishment? Did something, or someone - God maybe? - hear what she thought? Was this karma? It was, it had to be. Karma came to bite her in the ass and she couldn't even get mad because it was what she deserved.

So she numbly pulled on her shorts, pushing herself to stand wobbly as she wrapped her buttonless shirt around her bare torso, her entire skin burning and sore to touch as she slowly, but surely, limped away, her feet dragging along the ground as she kept falling, her knees just giving way spontaneously but she was relentless, ignoring the sharp pains in her bare, bleeding feet until she came to one house in particular that she hoped would help her.

The person inside was compassionate and caring, his heart sometimes too big... He was all she had left in this moment. If he slammed the door in her face then she made a split second decision in that brief period of time. She would go to the woods, crawl or drag herself if she had to, and throw herself off the cliff edge to the sharp, unforgiving boulders below and wait patiently in agonising pain for death to come.

Because if someone like Scott McCall truly turned his back on her, then she wasn't worth anything.

She reached the front door, the entire house in complete darkness as she raised a quivering hand and rang the doorbell, shivering against the cool wind nipping at her bare, bruised skin. Blood had seeped into her knotty hair, scrapes on the inside of her thighs welling with blood and too agonising to touch, the column of her throat swollen and red from multiple hands grabbing at her neck and choking her into unconsciousness every time she tried weakly to fight back or rouse herself from unconsciousness.

She was a mess and she couldn't even hide it if she wanted.

The hall light came on, followed by the lock scraping open to reveal a tired and worried Scott, his eyes immediately widening as he took in her battered and bruised, half naked figure, totally at a loss for words.

"C-Can I c-come in?" her teeth chattered from both the cold and her nerves, her eyes welling with tears as she imagined how safe she would feel in his presence if he allowed her.

"K-Kayla... What happened?" He questioned, gently reaching out to guide her into the warm house, "are you okay?"

She was trembling like a scared kitten, letting go of her shirt to grab onto his as he closed the door, her eyes desperate and pleading.

"P-Please... _P-Please_ don't m-make me g-go b-back out t-there" she begged, "pl-please S-Scotty... _Please_... I-I'm s-s-sorry just please-pl-please don't make me go b-back"

"Shhhh, I won't, it's okay, you're safe" he reassured, giving her another concerned once over as he studied her bruises from her legs to her wrists, arms to her neck and all the way down her bare chest as her tattered shirt hung open, the bruising around her breasts the most predominant, "Kay... What happened?"

"I-I don't want to t-talk about i-it" she shook her head rapidly, "do-don't make m-me say it _\- p-please_ "

His concern only grew for her, rubbing her back to try and calm her down, "do you want me to phone my mom?" He asked, feeling sick as he added two and two together and got the most reasonable answer, realising she may want a female around, "she can come back from the hospital-"

"N-No" she stuttered, "n-no, no calls, please... I just... I just... I'm... So _cold_..."

He pulled her shirt around her body, keeping her covered and as dignified as possible, "why don't I run you a bath?"

She nodded, clinging onto his shirt as he gently helped her up the stairs, holding most of her weight as her legs couldn't carry her any further, too exhausted after pulling herself miles to get here and allowed him to help her through to his bathroom, sitting her on the lid of the toilet seat as he pulled back the shower curtain, pushing the plug in the bath and let it start to fill with water.

But he kneeled in front of her, gently reaching out to cup her knee joints, "Kayla... If what I think happened, happened then uh... If you want me to phone the police so we can report it... Then it should be done before you wash away any evidence...?" He suggested quietly, "it's up to you though"

She was still shaking, quivering in both fear and pain, "w-what's the point?" She mumbled brokenly, "who's g-going to b-b-believe me?"

"Hey..." He reached up, cupping her bruised and tender cheek as a few tears slipped down his hand, "I believe you, and the police will too"

No, they wouldn't. No one would believe her.

"S-Stiles was right" she croaked, "I-I am j-just a s-slut"

Scott frowned in concern, "Kay-"

"M-Maybe I deserved this-"

"No" he cut her off sharply, "you didn't"

"I'm-Im a bad person S-Scott" she whispered, "I... I just..." she screwed her eyes shut, a few more droplets of tears escaping her closed eyelids, "I just... Don't-don't want to b-be here anymore... What's t-the point? People-p-people aren't su-supposed to come b-back... I don't l-like feeling empty... And-and I have n-no-one"

"That's not true" he disagreed, "you have me. I'm your friend"

She peeled her eyes open, gazing down at him tiredly, "... Maybe... Maybe I should just drown myself in this bath" she murmured, glancing over at it almost nearly full, "th-that would fix e-everything"

"I promise you, it wouldn't" he reassured, "and I'm going to stay with you okay? I won't leave you, I promise"

He helped her stand, her body now in full agonising pain as Scott helped her take off her clothes, ever the gentleman as he didn't stare but respected her fully, holding her steady as he lowered her into the warm bath but unable to tear his eyes away from all her bruises, even her back and spine were littered with them.

She pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs as she glanced over at Scott, her heart filling with something warm and pleasurable, like, for once, she wasn't the most hated person on the planet.

"There was three of them" she whispered, holding his worried stare, "and yes, I was too drunk to fight back. And... And I really don't wanna talk about it. Now or ever. Please?" She begged, " _please_ don't tell anybody... Please Scotty..."

He frowned, reaching out to cup her hand, "just try and relax" he encouraged, not quite ready to promise something that big, "I promise, you're safe here"

And that was the thing about Scott. She _did_ feel safe around him. There was just something about him that made her naturally feel warm and safe, like she didn't have to worry about getting hurt anymore.

So she just placed her head on her knees and cried, her tears mixing with soapy water below.

 **A)n) LOOK AT HOW LONG THAT CHAPTER IS YOU PROUD? Lol I'm sorry for the pain but this is a massive turning point in the story, like MASSIVE haha and omg stiles, you didn't really think I would let him have sex with someone else that quick eh? Lol. And poor Kayla. I feel so bad for her, but anyways hope you all enjoyed and please please review they mean the world and help with quick updates - see? 8000 words in less than four days haha and see you all soon**

 **Also) got a poll up about you guys choosing the name for the next story so would appreciate your vote, cheeerrrrrs :)**


	39. Chapter 39 - Heavy heart

**Disclaimer: teen wolf does not belong to me in any way shape or form :( thanks a bunch to peachy48, linda96, Ashleymcd25, Luna888, x XRoweenaJAugistineX x, BeccaSco, XxOriginalDireWolfHybridxX (yeah they will don't worry ha), hope, Senjaninja, ShiannetheFangirlofEverything, Amandalucia and Vany for reviewing hope you like this next quick update X, also kinda unedited cos I have to be up in four hours for uni see the shit I do for y'all lol, enjoy X**

Was this what feeling was like? Being so damn overwhelmed to the point where you just wanted to completely shut off from everything and everyone? Because that's what she felt like. As if she was slowly drowning, her lungs filling up with water, her movements desperately trying to pull herself free but the more she tried, the more energy she spent, the worse it got and the more she continued to drown with no escape in sight. Feeling was literally weakening her, incapacitating her. Everything was just too much and she had no idea how to sort through the massive steaming pile of crap that was her life.

The water had long since turned cool, her cheeks dry as she gazed ahead of her at nothing in particular, her chin resting on her forearms placed over her bare knees as Scott watched her, studying her expression, listening to her still racing heart and feeling her panic swelling beneath the surface. He was lost, unsure what the right thing to do was.

"Kay?" he murmured, waiting for a response but he got none, "...Kay?"

Eventually, after several gentle calls of her name, her dull stare flickered over to meet his, her expression void of any emotion. She was like a duck - calm and dissociated on the outside as it floated on the water, but paddling like hell below the surface to try and keep afloat.

"Do you want me to call Stiles?"

Her left eye twitched, an indicator of how hard she was trying to not completely fall apart, "h-he broke up with me" she whispered, her voice scratchy and weak, "b-because I'm not g-good enough for him"

"He doesn't think that, not really" Scott reassured, "he loves you"

"H-He hates me" she disagreed glumly, her tone oozing nothing but despair, "he... He got mad because t-there was-there was a video... Of me... With someone... And... And I tried to tell him it was n-no big deal but... But we a-argued... And he l-left"

"I'm sure he regrets it by now" Scott muttered truthfully, "he's probably at home, sulking and moping feeling guilty"

Her bottom lip wobbled, fingernails sinking into her forearms as she held back her tears, "yeah... or-or has his dick in some random girl - p-perfect payback huh?"

And she hated how unbearable that thought was. How just the _consideration_ that he was sleeping with someone else made her chest ache and her heart to pang painfully. Not that she was one to talk, of course. She did _way_ more than sleep with just _one_ person but they were not together at the time and, although it hurt him, she was well within her rights to do what - or _who_ \- she liked.

But what made it worse was after everything that had happened, she finally had the courage to say she loved him and now? Her reward for that was a punch in the heart - continuously. Scott frowned in wondering, about to open his mouth and ask what she meant but she just gave a tired, very small shake of the head, tilting her head and resting her cheek on her forearms in exhaustion.

"Can I call Lydia then?" Scott asked her gently, "would that be okay?"

She didn't know where she stood with the strawberry blonde. She hadn't even visited her in the hospital but she was her best friend once upon a time... Maybe Lydia could help her. So she simply just sighed and inclined her head into a small nod, closing her eyes to let the misery continue to eat away at her until there was nothing else.

Scott excused himself briefly, keeping the bathroom door open slightly so he could keep an eye on her, making sure she didn't do anything rash as he called for Lydia, asking her to come around - urgently - because he was way out of his comfort zone and he had no idea what to do.

Lydia appeared just under ten minutes later, a coat thrown over her red silk pyjama strappy top and matching shorts as she met him in the hallway, a curved brow arching in confusion and worry.

"What happened?" she asked desperately, "is she okay?"

He kept his voice quiet, half of his concentration diverted to listen to Kayla's faint breathing against the water, "Lydia-" he gently cupped her elbow, stepping in front of her before she could race in, "-wait um... She got attacked"

Her green eyes filled with concern, peering up at him as she waited for him to finish, sensing that something else greater was far wrong and Scott hated himself for having to tell her, to speak it out loud as it made him feel physically nauseous.

He steeled himself, trying to quell his disgust.

"Lydia..." his friend's eyes widened in daunting realisation, her head slowly shaking in wanted denial, "... She was raped" the shake of her head became more prominent, "there was three of them"

It was like Lydia's small body curled in on itself, her shoulders hunching over in dejection.

"No..."

"That's why I had to call you" Scott continued, "she just showed up on the doorstep and I've never seen her in such a mess. I don't know what to do..."

Lydia sniffed, giving herself a few moments of weakness, of total distress evident on her features before she shook herself out, hardening her voice from the shaky wobble it held as she felt like crying for her friend.

"I need to see her"

He didn't even disagree with her, sidestepping and following her into his room, staying back by the threshold of the bathroom as Lydia creeped in, her mouth immediately popping open in revolted shock.

"Oh Kayla..." She whispered, dropping to her knees on the tiled floor as she reached out, her trembling fingers pulling away some damp strands of hair strewn across her bruised face, a sickening swell churning in her gut at her friend's far away and defeated look, "what have they done to you..."

Kayla's arms tightened around her knees, her stare meeting Lydia's, "... It's my punishment" she mumbled, the bruises littered around her neck making her voice strained and weak "for being a bad person"

"No... No it isn't sweetie" she promised, continuing to softly brush her hair away from her forehead, "don't think like that"

"Why?" Kayla muttered, no hope left in her voice, "it's true. Everything I've done..."

Lydia's eyes stung with tears, pressing herself against the bath tub to reassure her, "no matter what you've done you didn't deserve this" her voice broke, cracking under the sheer intensity to hold it together, "none of it..." unable to stop her eyes drifting over her battered body, tracing each pattern of bruising with her sharp gaze as she saw her swollen neck bulge a little as she swallowed, the curve of her shoulders a deep red and the tops of her arms darkening to a deep purple matching large threatening finger marks, her wrists just as damaged with her knuckles scraped like she had tried to pull herself away, her back spotted with various bruising and lacerations-including her spine which stuck out a little, each bump a painful looking crimson red and, when Lydia diverted her eyes downward, she saw bite marks along her collar bones and down her chest, the soft flesh of her breasts covered in deep pink bruising and nail marks.

"Come on" Lydia encouraged gently, "let's get you out of there and warmed up - this water is freezing" she tried to not show her devastation but feared it was apparent, especially as she glanced back at Scott who was looking as equally disturbed, "Scott, can you grab some towels? And maybe some fresh clothes too?"

"Of course" he nodded, ducking away to look through his drawers for some thick clothes of his that would be at least semi appropriate and ended up grabbing some grey jogging bottoms and his lacrosse hoody, adding a few fluffy black towels to the pile before hesitantly, and slowly, inching back into the bathroom and laying them next to the sink, taking a hold of one of the towels and handing it to Lydia who was trying to gently coax Kayla from the bath but to no avail, her persuasions falling on deaf ears.

"I-I can't" Kayla eventually said, "it h-hurts"

Lydia knew what that meant, wincing a little. No wonder she was hurting, she couldn't even comprehend what exactly happened and she didn't want to, the thought making her stomach feel queasy.

So Scott stepped forward, bending down next to Lydia and caught Kayla's faraway gaze, "I'll help you" he whispered, "can you put your arms around my neck?"

She raised an eyebrow a little, wondering why everyone was being so nice and understanding to her - she didn't deserve any niceties or compassion - she deserved to be punished and blamed, she was the bad person after all, wasn't she? But didn't have the energy to put up a fight, lifting her aching arms to curl around Scott's neck as he slowly but carefully helped stand her up in the tub, giving her time for her aching and bruised legs to lift themselves over the edge and her scraped bare feet to stand on the tiled floor, holding her steady as she wobbled and decided it was safer to sit her down on the edge of the bath.

She shivered a little from the cool air hitting her bare body, feeling Lydia drape a towel around her shoulders to wrap around her chest and another to cover her legs, preserving her dignity.

"I'll wait outside" Scott nodded, cupping Lydia's shoulder as he walked past and shut the bathroom door, giving them both privacy.

"Kay..." Lydia murmured soothingly, perching herself next to her on the edge, "can you remember who did this to you?" She asked gently, "because we can tell the sheriff... Get these sick bastards locked up"

But right now, in her state of mind, Kayla didn't care who did this to her or even what they looked like. She didn't have the capacity to care right now, not even about revenge, because she was just too damn _tired_. But Lydia's words hit a sore spot, her brain experiencing a few painful flashbacks of gruff, hot voices next to her ear and large clammy hands sliding down her body and no, _no_ she didn't want to remember this, she didn't want this image in her head, she didn't want to hear their voices as they taunted her-

She snapped her eyes closed, keeping them screwed shut as she started rocking back and forth slowly, her arms folded around her torso protectively as her nails dug painfully into her skin and Lydia's eyes widened, realising she was just making matters worse.

"Kayla... I'm sorry" she rushed out as gently as she could without sounding intimidating, "you don't have to talk about it. Not ever if you don't want to. Shhhh, you're okay" she wrapped an arm around her towel covered shoulders, "I'm here now Kay. I've got you"

"S-Stop being so n-nice to m-me" her voice was quivering, "y-you should be l-like Stiles and h-hate m-me"

"I'll never hate you Kay" Lydia vowed, "you're my best friend. Mistakes or not"

"I-I didn't want t-this" she peered up at Lydia, her eyes surprisingly gentle and wide, "you believe that, d-don't you? I w-was drunk and h-high but I wasn't a-asking f-for i-it"

"I know" Lydia soothed, cupping her cheek to keep their gazes locked, "I know Kay"

"I-I promised S-Stiles I wouldn't-wouldn't sleep with a-anyone but w-we f-fell out and I d-d-didn't like feeling s-so s-sad so I-I-I wanted t-to stop the p-p-pain... It w-was so p-painful Ly-Lydia but they... they made me... t-they made m-me... Made m-me-" she couldn't get her words out, holding back fresh tears, "-they m-made m-me... a-and it h-hurt s-so much... I d-didn't want it Lydia... I-I p-promise, I didn't w-want i-it..."

Tears welled beneath Lydia's lids, her heart aching for her friend, "you don't have to talk about it, not if you don't want to"

"No-No one can k-know" she whispered, "please L-Lydia... They w-won't believe m-me, I-I'm the t-town s-slut remember? P-Please... T-They won't b-believe I d-didn't w-want it"

And just like Scott, she couldn't make a promise like that. Not if she might have to break it.

"Come on" she gently muttered, "why don't we get you dressed? You're shivering" but whether it was from the cold or the shock Lydia didn't know, probably both, and helped dry her off, pulling Scott's lacrosse hoody over her head before starting to tug on the grey jogging bottoms only to stop as her fingers dusted along the scrapes on the inside of her thighs, the welts an inflamed red.

She was fearful no one would believe her, but how couldn't they with evidence like this plastered all over her body?

"I... I'll need to put some cream on these" she whispered, grabbing a tub of antiseptic from Scott's cupboard before bending down and carefully lathering some on her damaged skin, trying not to aggravate her bruising as she then tugged up the baggy bottoms so the waistband settled around her waist.

But when she went to stand, Lydia watched as she stumbled a little and winced, hunching over a little so just steadied her by taking a hold of her hand, helping her limp from the bathroom and into Scott's bedroom where he was waiting anxiously by the window, his foot tapping the floor to an out of beat rhythm.

"I figured um... You could stay here if you wanted?" Scott asked, "as long as you want"

"Really?"

"Of course" he whispered honestly.

"I don't think Stiles would be very happy about that..."

Scott frowned, "he's my best friend but if he objects then screw him. You're my friend too and I can look after you if I want to"

She cast a look to Lydia, silently asking want she should do because she was scarily unsure of herself and her choices at the moment, needing a little reassurance.

"I think that's a really good idea" Lydia nodded, "my house is a car drive away and you need your rest"

She glanced between the two, her friends that were more than willing to help her despite everything she had done, all the pain she had caused them, and felt a little bit of warmth spread through her veins.

"Uh... o-okay" she croaked, "um..."

"Take my bed" Scott tried for a smile, "I'll take the couch"

She panicked a little, not wanting to be left alone but Lydia seemed to know what she was feeling because she brushed some hair from her face, "I'll stay with you. All night. I just um... Need to have a word with Scott, okay?"

She knew they were going to talk about her but she didn't even care, nodding a little as she went to gingerly sit down on the bed, wincing a little at the sharp pain that shot through her centre before curling up into a tight, protective ball under the covers, shutting everything out.

"I'll just be two minutes" Lydia promised, "will you be okay?"

She got no response, not even a non verbal one so just sighed sadly and followed Scott out into the lit hallway, carefully shutting the door behind her so she couldn't overhear them.

"... She just kept saying she didn't want it" Lydia whispered brokenly, "over and over again..."

"How bad is it? Really?"

Lydia paled, "bad. I was going to ask if she would let me, you know, examine her, but I don't think she could handle that. Or maybe I couldn't" she muttered in afterthought, "all I know is it's bad and if she didn't heal so quickly these days, I would be driving her to the hospital right this moment"

"How could someone do this... It's sick"

"A group of deranged pervs taking what they want, thinking they can get away with it because she was off her face" Lydia mumbled bitterly, "did you manage to pick up any scents off her? Before she had the bath?"

"Kind of" Scott nodded, "there was blood, alcohol, stale smoke... But it was very distinctive. Are you asking me if I could find out who did this by their scents?"

She nodded, "they can't get away with this. Look at what they reduced her to-" she nodded her head back to the closed bedroom door, "-she was virtually unfeeling and hard before. but after this... She's crumbling. They shouldn't be able to get away with that"

Scott nodded affirmatively, "I'll remember their scents, don't worry"

"Good, because I want to pay them a little visit... Preferably with an Alpha by my side"

"Of course" Scott nodded, "I've got your back"

Lydia touched his arm in thanks, "I'll keep an eye on her tonight so try and not worry"

"Easier said than done"

They both parted ways, Scott grabbing a blanket from his mom's room to sleep under on the couch downstairs and Lydia silently went back into Scott's room, prying back the covers a little to slip under next to Kayla.

"Kay? You awake?"

She got a gentle hum back in response and felt Kayla shift a little as she turned over to face her, her eyelids heavy and blackened from exhaustion.

"Y-You don't have to stay... Not if you don't want to"

"I want to" Lydia promised, scooting over a little closer so their heads were laying next to each other on the bed, "do you need some painkillers for the pain?"

"... No..." She murmured, "I'll be okay"

Lydia saw right through the lie but didn't challenge her, lifting a hand to stroke her arm before cupping her cheek again, trying for a smile. "Try and get some sleep, I'll see you in the morning"

But Unknown to either of them, neither of them slept - one too scared to, and the other too scared in case she woke up and her best friend was long gone.

* * *

Stiles' first thought when he woke was 'hmmm, I really fancy pancakes. With syrup. Oh dear god, syrup and chocolate sauce, whoa, no, calm down Stiles, you've got to actually wake up first- _HOLY FRICKING GOD'_

Yeah, it took a few seconds for his brain to catch up with him, all the events of last night rushing back to him.

Did he...?

He glanced to the side, his eyebrows rising high into his forehead at the side of the petite blonde all curled up in the covers, completely sound asleep.

Yeah, he did.

Oh crap.

He gulped loudly, a nervous sweat seizing a hold of his body as he realised that _yes_ , he seriously did just pick up a girl from the hospital, the frigging _hospital_?! and _yes_ he did pretty much spill her his entire life story, and that _**yes**_ he _really_ did just go down on her until she came in his bed - the bed he and Kayla used to share. The same bed that they had so many personal moments in, and not just sex. Talking. Laughing. Grieving.

Jesus Christ Stiles, he cursed himself internally, what the _**hell**_ did you just do?

He ran a hand down his face, still having the faint taste of her arousal on his lips and although he did enjoy it - enjoy spending time with someone normal, someone kind and innocent who listened to him, he felt a pang of guilt echo in his heart.

He had, to put this bluntly, fucked up. _**Bad**_.

But that wasn't the worst of it. After he came up from between her legs and said he had to go to the bathroom, desperately needing to release the bulging hard on that had seized his cock, she had said shyly that he didn't need to go to the bathroom, that it was only right she return the favour.

And he had let her, too overcome in desperate need and too angry at Kayla to consider their relationship as he sat up against the headboard, slowly stroking himself as he talked her through what to do, explaining as calmly as he could how to suck on the tip, that she should definitely avoid using teeth until she was more experienced and that she should use her hands to stroke him exactly like he was doing to himself.

And she had followed his instructions nervously, kneeling between his spread legs as she started off by touching him, getting used to the sight and feel of his cock before slowly, gently, almost hesitantly, letting the tip of her tongue caress the head of his cock, immediately recoiling.

"It twitched, was it supposed to twitch?"

He had been too horny to explain that was a good reaction, that it was just his arousal making the blood pump faster so just reassured her by saying, "it's fine, totally normal" and tried to ignore her slightly panicked look, sighing loudly as she stroked him - a little out of rhythm - but it was doing the trick, lowering her mouth back down to encase the tip of his cock.

It took some time - she wasn't very affirmative in her actions nor confident, her mouth kind of dry until he told her that it would be easier if she could allow her saliva to wet his cock which she did do, bobbing her head a little.

And it felt like ages but eventually her hand tightened around his cock, stroking the underside so much that he came in her mouth, not even warning her. Something he normally always did. Just proves how mind-fucked he was then.

"Uh..." He had watched her pull back, her face screwing up into surprise as his cum pooled on her tongue, an embarrassed and fearful look twisting her pretty features, "you can spit if you want to"

She had ran to the bathroom to do just that only to return to profusely apologise, her cheeks flaring a deep red as she said she just wasn't expecting that to happen, and not quite as much, continuing to apologise for her inexperience.

So he had kissed her, whispering that it was okay and they would get plenty of practice before falling asleep.

Crap.

Did he _seriously_ say that to her?

What a fucking _dick_ he was.

He didn't know if he wanted to ' _practice_ ' with her - how could he when he was seriously regretting ever arguing with Kayla and ached to just call her and make up, say he was stupid but another small part told him to stop putting Kayla first above his own needs. If he needed a break from the pressure, then that was okay.

God, he was so conflicted.

But one thing never changed.

His love for her - even if he had a crappy way of showing it.

But just then, Sophie started to wake, groaning a little as she stretched before her eyes went wide as they met his, immediately grabbing the covers around her chest and pulling them up around her neck.

"Uh... H-Hi"

"Hi" his voice was croaky from sleep, his eyes wide.

"... Good sleep?"

He nodded at her, "yeah. You?"

"I uh..." She shyly gazed under the covers, a notified blush prickling her pale cheeks, "I don't usually sleep in the nude but yeah, I guess I did sleep well"

"It'll be the oral" he said without thinking, "girls love that. Kayla would sleep like a baby after I went down on her like that"

How could he continue to fuck up _so, so_ badly?

What a fricking douche he was.

"Oh" Sophie's eyes widened, "that's um..." she swallowed thickly, shame twisting her features, "... Good to know"

He sat up quickly, "I'm sorry, that came out _so_ wrong, I just meant-I mean you're... Sex is... Orgasming can be exhausting and _wow_ , I'm just making this worse aren't I?"

"Incredibly" she pushed herself up, keeping the sheets tight around her chest, "don't really want to imagine where your tongue has been when it was inside me only a few hours ago"

"It's been in worse places than that" he said without thinking before wincing, "that was another example of me putting my foot in my mouth huh?"

"Implying anal? Oh definitely" she nodded quickly, the blush spreading down her neck, "can I have a shower?"

"Of course, just down the ha-" he didn't even get to finish his sentence before her little legs had scurried across the room and she had escaped through the door - in fact Stiles wouldn't be surprised if she escaped out the bathroom window - despite it being two stories high. It would be like one of those one night stand movies.

Oh god.

He was such an idiot.

He stood up, pulling on some discarded pj bottoms as he reached for his phone, immediately scrolling down to Kayla's name and hit call, waiting anxiously for her to answer but she was probably still pissed because it rang out, going straight to voicemail.

"... Hey Kaylz" he started off sheepishly, "I uh... I was hoping to talk to you, you know, face to face - well, mouth to mouth I guess-" he added in confusion, "considering we wouldn't be seeing each other and all-"

"Stiles, I need a towel"

"-Crap" he cursed, wincing as he pulled away the phone to hold against his shoulder, praying Sophie's voice wouldn't be distinguishable, "uh... Check the airing cupboard a door down from the bathroom"

She never responded so he assumed she found them, bringing the phone back to his ear, "uh... Sorry about that uh... Plumber... Um... Flooded toilet... My dad and his curries huh?" He tried to joke, covering up that blunder, "I know what I said was harsh baby but I... I didn't mean it to come out the way it did. I just meant we had to concentrate on getting you the help you need and I didn't want our relationship to get in the way of that. I'm a dick Kaylz" he scrubbed a hand down his face, "I always mess up the things I want most in life and I... And I want you. I just... I can't settle for you the way you are when I know you deserve better than being the person you are" he glanced down at his body, seeing a small love bite on his collar bone and just above his hip, "you probably deserve someone better than me too... I'm so sorry for giving up on you, even briefly... You didn't deserve that - just remember that I love you okay? Till the end of the road"

'Even when I'm going down on other girls' he added in his head, guilt twisting his gut as he ended the call. He just hoped that, in her hurt and anger, she didn't go out and do anything stupid. He just hoped she was safe because if anything happened, he would _never_ forgive himself.

And just then, that was how sheriff Stilinski bumped into a stranger in his hallway and if she didn't let out a terrified, high pitched scream then he may well have just pulled his gun.

"Whoa, calm down" he waved his hands to stop her screams, "this is my house. If you're burgling it, it should be _me_ screaming"

It was only then he realised she was dripping wet from the shower, a small hand towel wrapped around her petite body, long blonde hair cascading down her back as she pushed herself back into the wall in embarrassment.

He was used to girls being in his house - well, one in particular, so it was a regular sight to see her heading back to the bedroom from a shower or first thing in the morning with hair askew and eyes half shut as she blindly made her way downstairs but, to his upmost shock and surprise, the girl he saw _wasn't_ Kayla.

"Uh..."

"Oh my _god"_ before he could even ask what the hell was going on, Stiles skidded around the corner, wide eyed and bare chested as he gazed between the two in mortification, "dad uh... Heh... I uh, I didn't expect you back so soon"

He cocked a brow at Stiles' state of undress, casting a suspicious glance to the stranger in the towel, putting two and two together in his head.

"Clearly" he mumbled, "honey-" he directed to the petite girl in a soft voice because she looked ready to keel over from embarrassment, "-you can go get dressed while I have a word with my son here"

She didn't need telling twice, keeping her gaze diverted as she high tailed it out of there and slammed the bedroom door shut, leaving Stiles in the firing line.

"Uh... I can explain this"

"Oh _really_?" The sheriff crossed his arms, "the floors all yours then"

"Um..." Stiles' face twisted up as he tried to formulate a half decent sentence, "... No, I got nothing"

"Who the hell is she?"

"Sophie"

"Last name?"

"Um..."

"You _slept_ with her and you don't even know her last name?"

Stiles' jaw gaped, "I didn't _technically_ sleep with her - I mean we _did_ fall asleep next to eachother but we didn't do what you think we did, we just did other things"

The sheriff's face screwed up, "son, stop talking"

"Yeah, gladly"

The sheriff sighed, "what happened to trying with Kayla?"

"I _am_ trying with Kayla"

"It doesn't look like it" he observed in disappointment, "I thought I raised you better than this?"

Stiles dropped his head in shame, guilt welling beneath the surface.

"We fell out..."

"So you resort to picking up a stranger to get back at her?"

"It wasn't like that" Stiles muttered in frustration, "she's a nice girl, she listened to me, made me realise some things. It shouldn't have happened, I know that but..." he shrugged helplessly, "me and Kayla's relationship is complicated, you can't even begin to understand how badly it's fucked up right now dad. So I'm sorry I had a weak moment. I am"

"It's not me you have to say that to, it's Kayla" his dad replied, "if you want to be with her"

"I do just... Not in these circumstances. Not when she's... She's so... _Unfeeling_ "

But if only Stiles knew just how much she was feeling in that exact same moment, gazing up at the ceiling of Scott's room as she breathed through the agonising ripping pain shooting through her, wishing she was different, a better person, one that deserved love and affection, wondering if all this pain, all this fear, was really worth it.

 **A/N) WHOA quick update lol I reallyyyyyy hope you all enjoyed and your thoughts would be very much appreciated all you lovely people so eager to see what you think haha have a good day and see y'all very soon X**

 **Also poll: new name of new book X**


	40. Chapter 40 - True colours

**Disclaimer; teen wolf is not mine - WOW you guys all rock I love all your thoughts and ideas and the controversy is great, that's what makes an interesting story imo if it stirs up this kind of passion and strong views so thank you for your in depth thoughts including linda96, BeccaSco, Unmajestically, guest, Ashleymcd25, xXRoweenaJAugistineX x, Dark Angel Assasin's, amandalucia, Sara (not harsh at all I love your review), guest, meew, to reviewer Sara, vvv Sara, guest guest, hope, to reviewer Sarah, Sara vvv, Sara and EllieDragon, it makes my day to read all your view points and opinions honestly I love it so please keep it up and enjoy the next chapter X :)**

"I can cover up these bruises for you if you like once we get back to mine?"

She knew she should answer Lydia, it was the polite thing to do was it not? But everything in her head was muddled up and scrambled, she didn't even know quite what was going on, her fiend's voice sounding echoey and far away, like she was talking to her from the end of a tunnel. All she knew was that the bruises Lydia was talking about hurt like hell, both the ones visible and the internal ones - in fact they hurt so much her entire body stung and ached, each movement weighing her down.

But she didn't complain, didn't try and ease the agony because she deserved it. She _knew_ she did. She was a terrible, selfish, manipulative person, this was her punishment. It had to happen eventually, right? Karma was just waiting to get back at her, to make her pay, and it did just that in the most horrific, degrading way possible.

But still she didn't have the energy to get mad or hateful because she deserved it. She deserved _everything_ she got and more. Stiles was right, she really was a terrible, terrible person. No wonder he was so ashamed of her.

"Kay?"

Her tired, dull eyes flickered upwards to meet Lydia's who was hovering in front of her as she brushed her hair, her gaze full of concern.

"... Sure" she murmured without any enthusiasm or involvement, "whatever you like"

The strawberry blonde frowned, slowly kneeling down in front of her as she sat slumped on the bed, those beautiful moss green eyes unwavering with sympathy, "are you sore?"

She was in white hot blistering agony - those men were not gentle, nor careful. They beat her within an inch of her life, breaking ribs and probably causing internal bleeding before forcing themselves on her hard and fast, time after time until they got fed up of her. When one was done, the next would not be far behind, moving her the way he wanted before exerting his strength as he bruised her already battered body as he took her.

So it was safe to say she was sore - advanced healing or no advanced healing.

She just dropped her gaze, glancing down at her legs still covered in Scott's thick jogging bottoms, "... I can still feel them on me" she murmured quietly, "their hands, I..." She shivered, briefly closing her eyes to collect her emotions, "I... I remember b-bits of it... I just... It does h-hurt" she eventually managed to get out, "and the pain's not going away..."

Lydia winced a little, reaching out to cup her hand, "are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital?"

She shook her head numbly, "it feels like I've spent half of my life in a hospital... I'm not going"

"Kay..." She said gently, "you could be really hurt down there. You might need stitches"

"I'll heal" she murmured, "I just... _Can't_. I can't. I don't want anyone knowing"

"They won't judge Kay" Lydia reassured, "they're there to help you"

"People judge Lydia, it's normal. And if I walk in there, and I say... And I tell them that... That I was ra... r-raped... They're all going to think 'that was bound to happen eventually, the way she looks and dresses screams for attention, what a whore' - that's going to be their thoughts given they believe me, I have a reputation remember? Everyone knows it. They know I go around opening my legs for anyone and everyone, they'll probably pass it off as rough sex, that things got a little out of hand. I know that's going to happen so please, _please_... Don't make me go through that"

Lydia's bottom lip quivered, her eyes glistening with unshed tears as she listened to her pleads, her voice empty yet somehow full of emotion, "I won't... Not if you don't want to" she promised, "but what you think people are going to say, or think... They won't. And if they did try I wouldn't let them"

Kayla just dropped her gaze, immediately shutting off from this conversation because she didn't want to think about it, nor talk about it or even have to live through it again - she just needed to shut those memories away into a very tight box and never think of them again. That's what she needed otherwise she knew she couldn't deal with it. She already felt herself crumbling away, like ashes being blown in the wind.

"Okay" Lydia whispered, accepting her answer, "we'll go back to mine and get you all cleaned up properly, is that alright?"

She just inclined her head into a small nod, slowly pushing herself up and wincing as she did so, pressing her thighs together to try and ease the pain but that just made the bloody scrapes on the inside of her thighs begin to burn - there was no winning here.

"You okay?" Lydia asked in concern, cupping her elbow to help stabilise her.

"... Yeah" she lied, "fine" trying not to limp as she walked slowly forward, leaving Scott's room with Lydia not far behind her, her careful, observant gaze trained on her the entire time as they made it down the stairs and saw Scott folding up his blanket from where he slept on the couch, immediately whipping around to face them.

"Hey guys" he greeted carefully, stilling as his eyes trailed over both of them, trying to figure out how she was feeling today, to see if she was better than the mess he saw her in last night, "how are you feeling?"

If she lied and said fine, they would know she was lying and be even more concerned, but if she told the truth and did say how much agony she was in, both mentally and physically, then that meant opening up and being truthful, being vulnerable, something she wasn't comfortable with - not anymore.

So she just settled for a shrug, crossing her arms over her torso, "if um... If Stiles asks... Please don't say I was here?" She murmured glumly, "we didn't just fight, we uh... We said some pretty hateful things and... And he doesn't... He... He made me feel so much for him... Stuff I didn't want to feel and... And then he just walked away because... Because of who I am. I understand why... But... But that doesn't make it hurt any less. I really don't want anything more to do with him so please... Don't say I was here"

Scott frowned in worry, stuck between his heart broken friend who had literally been to hell and back, both in death and in life, and his other best friend who Scott knew needed a good kick up the ass to knock some sense into him.

"I won't" he promised, "but Kay, Stiles really does love yo-"

"No" she shook her head, "he doesn't. He loved the old me and that person doesn't exist anymore. Like he said-" she murmured, "-now I'm just a slut and he has low standards. He made his thoughts perfectly clear"

Scott pursed his lips, looking ready to thump Stiles if he was here, "I'm sorry"

"Don't be" she smiled a little but that soon got washed away, "thank you... For last night"

"Of course" he nodded, "anytime Kay"

It amazed her how gentle and compassionate he was, even after everything he had been through. It wasn't forced or fake, it was totally and completely natural. He had a heart of pure molten gold and she found herself admiring his warmth. She used to love that about Stiles, still did, but after his bitter and hard home hitting words, she wanted nothing more to do with him. She was done.

She gulped, breaking his stare and slowly moved past him out the door, leaving him and Lydia to exchange a few words in hushed whispers as she carefully lowered herself in Lydia's car, pulling down the visor and glancing at herself in the mirror. The whole one side of her face was still bruised an ugly deep blue colour, her lip split, grazes on her cheek and bruising down her neck. She was a mess.

She snapped the visor shut just as Lydia got in, hating looking at herself in the mirror and watched as the strawberry blonde shot her a half nervous smile, her eyes full of pity but never said anything as she drove off, taking it extra cautiously back to her house, like Kayla was a delicate flower ready to break apart any moment.

"We'll find you some new clothes" Lydia spoke out loud as she lead her up the stairs inside her house, "all my trousers will probably be too short for you but maybe my mom has something in her wardrobe. Or you may have possibly have left some here from before, I'll have to look-"

"Is it okay if I have a shower?" She interrupted softly, still feeling gritty and dirty, the indent of their fingerprints engraved into her skin.

"Of course" Lydia nodded, reaching for some towels, "take all the time you need" she smiled, "take my dressing gown and I'll find you some fresh clothes when you're in the shower"

She nodded silently, accepting Lydia's beige fluffy dressing gown and excused herself to her lavish bathroom, the granite work tops pristine and glistening, bottles of various expensive moisturisers, body washes and scrubs lining the work top next to the sink under the large wall mirror, the walls painted a fresh light pink.

Despite her aching body, she slowly peeled off Scott's clothes, the rough material rubbing against her bruised skin as she stepped into Lydia's large glass shower and turned the water as hot as it would go, just simply standing there on wobbly legs as the searing water burned her skin but she didn't care. She wanted the feel of their hands and the weight of their bodies off her. It was like she wanted to shed her entire skin because it was now not truly hers. She didn't mind having sex with tens of different people because she chose it - she decided to do that because she wanted it, she wanted that pleasure, but what happened was not enjoyable and she certainly didn't want it. She was now tainted and dirty and certainly worth absolutely nothing.

She stood under the steady stream of water for what felt like ages, the glass around her fogging up and only when she felt like she couldn't stand anymore, the burning water scalding her delicate skin and aggravating the scrapes on her body making them bleed, did she step out and pull the dressing gown around her body, catching sight of her naked skin in the mirror ahead of her.

It looked even worse than last night, bruising to a dark purple and blue colour all over her skin, her neck having flourished with fresh bruising she didn't even know was there resembling hand marks. She inched closer to the mirror, letting the dressing gown hang open as she gazed at herself. There was no hiding or pretending that what happened, never happened. There was too much evidence, too much proof. The more she looked, the more she felt herself beginning to shake from nerves, flashes of harsh memories invading her mind.

" _Hurry up with her, would you? We all want a turn you selfish Bastard"_

She screwed her eyes shut, her hands wrapping around the lip of the sink as she tried to quell down her disgust, feeling her stomach churn uncomfortably.

 _All she heard was breathless grunting above her, a hand tight around her throat as he grabbed at her skin and all she could see was a blurry outline of his body rocking against hers, a bead of grimy sweat falling from his forehead and landing on hers and she tried to move, she tried, but he pinned her down harder before raising a hand and smacking her across the face, immediately stilling her._

"Get a grip Kayla" she whispered shakily to herself, "g-get it together"

"- _Stupid... Fucking... **Bitch**..." Each filthy word punctuated by an exhausted slam into her, her legs bent at an awkward angle around her, "just lie and take it... Fucking **take it..."**_

Tears prickled her closed eyes, leaking from her lids as she gripped at the sink tighter, desperate for something to cling onto to keep her grounded so she wouldn't get lost in those terrible, smothering memories but it was escalating and she couldn't stop it, couldn't stop from falling hard and fast.

 _Hungry lips kissed and nipped at her skin as one of them rolled her onto her stomach, another pinning her arms down in front of her as she blindly and drunkly tried to struggle, not really knowing what was going on just knowing she didn't like this, she didn't like it at all but the more she struggled, the rougher they got, another pinning her ankles down behind her as a tall heavy man climbed on top of her and instead of just tugging her underwear to the side, he completely tore them down her legs and she had started crying, feeling his hand tangle in her hair and push her head into the gravel as he laughed with his friends, telling them how good she felt, how he was enjoying completely wrecking her, how he loved listening to her scream..._

"Stop it" she whispered desperately, shaking her head quickly as her nails started bending with the sheer force she was gripping the sink with, her arms shaking, "stop it... No... No..."

" _You're such a pretty young thing" a deep gruff voice murmured in her ear as he tugged up her battered body into a sitting position, "let's see what that little whore mouth can do, Hm?"_

She couldn't breathe. Her head was spinning. Everything was spinning. She didn't like this. She hated it. Why? Why? Didn't they see how drunk she was? How she very clearly wanted them to stop? Didn't they care that she had already been through so much, that maybe this was her tipping point? Didn't they think that by taking what they wanted, they were destroying her?

Last time Stiles helped her - he saved her, but he wasn't here to save her now. He had left. She had pushed him away and because of that, because of her screwing things up, she was forced to lie there, aware at times, unaware at others, as they each climbed on top of her, multiple times in a row, lasting for hours and there wasn't a damn thing she could do.

"Stop..." She cried to herself, "stop it, stop it, stop it-"

Too late - she was saying it too late. She was _always_ too late.

Everything was spiralling out of control.

 _She_ was spiralling.

Spinning and falling and crashing.

She couldn't do this.

She just _couldn't_.

She didn't know what was better - feeling empty and alone, or so full of emotion everything seemed tiring and hard. There was no winning.

And she was most definitely losing.

"Stop it... I said stop, _stop_ -"

Tears ran down her cheeks as she reached up and grabbed fistfuls of her hair, anchoring herself, trying to stay in control but all she felt was them - their weight, their bodies, their rough grabbing hands, the hot sweat that glided down their skin, their sharp teeth bruising her, making her ache and bleed, their smokey stale breath next to her ear, the sound they made as they spat in their hands, their laughs, their grunts, their moans and groans, all the horrible words they called her as they hurried to get off hard and fast... It was hell. These memories were _hell_. She came back to life for this? To just be used and abused time and time again? What was the point? She may as well have stayed dead. That's what should have happened. She should've stayed a rotting corpse - that way all those people would still be alive, she wouldn't have destroyed so many people and Stiles and her friends would've moved on in a healthy normal way, not getting dragged down with her baggage.

Everything she touched, she ruined. She was like a virus or an incurable disease. She was worse than terminal fucking cancer. Even before all this, before her death and before she changed into someone unrecognisable, she was a terrible person. She didn't deserve what she had, not her family, not her friends and not Stiles. It was the only explanation.

She was a curse.

"P-Please stop... Stop... _Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it-"_

Her fist shot out to collide with the crystal mirror in front of her, the glass immediately breaking and splitting, sharp shards slicing into her hand as she continued pummelling it, not caring about the sharp burning pain or the copper Crimson blood sliding down her skin. She just couldn't keep looking at herself, see her bruised and broken body, to see what they did to her. It wasn't _her_ body anymore. It didn't feel like it anyway. It was like they had tainted her, left a piece of themselves behind. If she kept looking at herself, it was like looking through the eyes of those men. The ones that attacked her. They enjoyed hurting her and bruising her so she couldn't look at herself without feeling so violated. So alone and corrupted. Like her body was just there to be used because that's all people saw her as - a screw, an act of pleasure for them and not as a person. She was worth nothing... Even to Stiles. The person that promised he would love her forever, the person that vowed to stick by her but she had pushed him away until he reached his breaking point. How she could turn even the most sensitive and gentle person into a bitter, hate filled, vile speaking guy.

She was a curse.

 _She was a curse._

 _ **She was a curse.**_

"Kayla? Kay?" Lydia's frantic knocks pierced through her as she shook herself, ridding herself of those memories as she stepped back, her bloodied hands falling to her sides, bare feet unintentionally crunching over broken glass, "Kayla? Are you okay? Open the door! _Kayla?"_

The strong smell of blood was overwhelming, the gentle drip of thick Crimson hitting the tiled floor and echoing all around her but she couldn't move. _She couldn't move_. She just couldn't. She couldn't do anything.

...

She was raped.

Admitting it to herself was so much harder than she could have ever of imagined.

"Kay? Open the door, what happened? Are you okay?"

She never answered, just stood there as the blood started pooling around her, spreading across the white tiled floor as Lydia somehow managed to open the door and threw it open, her green eyes wide and full of worry as they settled on her, watching in frantic concern as the blood dripped from her cut hands.

"Kay... Oh my _god_..."

She stepped forward, slowly reaching for her bloodied hands, wincing at the broken bits of glass caught in her skin and glanced up at her, tears shining in her eyes.

"Kayla..."

"I don't want to be here" she croaked, both knowing 'here' didn't mean the bathroom or Lydia's house, it meant something so much more serious, "Lydia... I can't be here..."

"You did nothing wrong" Lydia whispered, "I promise you that..."

"I-I can't... I _can't_..." She shook her head quickly, "it's too much, I can't- _I can't-"_

Her legs gave way, knees banging painfully off the floor as Lydia fell with her, trying to calm her down, to reassure her, to bring her back to reality and make her realise her worth but it was no use, she just cried on her lap, bloodying her legs but she didn't mind, continuing to stroke her hair as she broke apart, never to be put back together again.

* * *

"So uh... I'm sorry about my dad coming back. I didn't expect him home for like another hour" he apologised, "but it was totally my fault. I should've let you know he could drop back at any time"

Sophie just nodded, "it's okay. These things happen"

Her understanding still amazed him - how even if she was still mortified snd ashamed, she didn't want him to feel bad. How sweet.

"And I promise, he's not judging" he reassured, "he's not like that"

"O-Okay" she whispered, sweeping some blonde hair behind her ear, "um... He was just looking at me like he expected someone else"

He winced, "yeah... He's used to Kayla being about the house, that's all"

"I don't want to be known as the other girl" she murmured, "it wouldn't be fair on anyone"

He gulped but nodded, "I know. I'm sorry if I've made you feel that way, that was never my intention"

"I know it wasn't. And I actually am really taken with you"

His lips quirked, "really?"

"Really" she confirmed, "but I wouldn't push for anything if you want to get back with Kayla. No matter the bad she's done, she deserves more than that"

He sighed heavily, "our relationship just doesn't work right now. Mine and Kayla's. It doesn't change the way I feel about her, but I know it won't work"

"Sometimes relationships don't work out" Sophie pointed out, "that's why I put my number in your phone"

"O-Oh?" His eyebrows shot up, "you did?"

She nodded, "I'm giving you an option. I uh... I didn't think I would ever let a guy go down on me on the first date but uh... Things happen, and I would be stupid if I didn't show you that I.. I uh... You know... Like you. But not as a side chic. Never as that"

"Understood" he smiled, catching her arm before she could leave, "um... Thank you for being there" he murmured gently, slowly leaning down to press a hesitant kiss to her parted, surprised lips, "I really appreciate it"

She blushed deeply, just simply nodding before excusing herself hurriedly and he could hear her muttering to herself in annoyance about being an embarrassed mess and just chuckled quietly, finding it strange he was, for the first time, not the awkward one when it came to romance and hook ups.

He watched her leave from his window, seeing her rushing down the street like she was scared people would know what happened last night but got interrupted by his dad letting out a deliberate cough and swivelled around, his eyes immediately going wide.

"So... Last name?"

 _Damnit_ , he forgot to ask her - yeah, _real_ classy Stiles.

His mortified expression told the sheriff what he wanted to know which made him sigh, folding his arms as he leaned against the door frame, "are you really thinking this through rationally?"

"What? Of course"

"Because I think you're acting out in hurt" his dad observed, "and that won't end well for you or either of those girls. If you're not thinking clearly-"

"I'm thinking perfectly fine" Stiles stated, "is it so hard to believe that someone else apart from my, now, psycho ex actually wants to be with me?"

"That wasn't what I was meaning-"

"Yeah, it was" he interrupted with an eye roll, "but you have no idea what I'm feeling or what I've felt since she came back. Two whole fricking months I grieved for her and just when I tried to move on, she comes back and I've tried and tried and _tired_ so damn hard to help her, to understand, to force myself to sympathise with her but this entire time it's been killing me" he exclaimed, "and that video was the breaking point. How unconcerned she was... It just made me so _mad_. I love her, so fricking much it's scary but I can't keep being romantically involved when I try and help her, it's too hard dad. It's better this way. It's better we call it quits for a while... She's not in the right place for a relationship and my hatred and anger doesn't make me any better. It's not as simple as just loving somebody... Sometimes love just isn't enough"

"You're right" his dad nodded, "and I support you but what you do during this 'break' will have to stay with you for a long time - just don't do anything you'll regret later on, that's all I'm saying. And maybe speak to Kayla?" He added, "I don't want anymore killing sprees"

"Dually noted"

And his dad's words just made him realise how even more badly he fucked up than he first thought.

Wow, well done Stiles, _really_ , great job.

He just knew this would bite him in the ass - big time.

* * *

"See? Good as new" Lydia said softly, dabbing the last layer of foundation over the bruising on her cheekbone, covering up any visible evidence of what happened, "no one will ever know..."

"Thank you" she spoke softly, her throat sore which made her voice come out raspy and weak, sounding more like a chain smoker than a seventeen year old girl and pulled the long sleeves of the thick jumper down over her bandaged hands, toying with the frayed edges.

Lydia discarded the make up to the other side of the bed, staring at her in worry, "Kay... What you said before... About not wanting to be here... You're not going to uh... Hurt yourself are you?"

She didn't falter, didn't even blink and she just replied with "no" in a monotonous dull voice which Lydia didn't believe - not one bit.

"You didn't sound very conniving..."

"I don't have the energy to lie" she whispered, "all I know is everything would have been better if I had stayed in the damn ground..."

"No" Lydia said sharply, "hey, look at me" she tilted her chin up, forcing their eyes to meet, "I wouldn't have been better. First Allison, then Aiden and then you... It was agony. My boyfriend... My two best friends... No one should have to feel that. So even though you feel everyone hates you, I don't. I never have" she shook her head, "you're my best friend and I love your stupid ass so don't you dare say things would have been better without having you back because, for me, it wouldn't. Doesn't that count for something?"

But before she could answer, the sound of tires crunching over gravel made them both glance up and look towards the window, frowns on both their faces as Lydia silently stood and made her way over only to pale a little before an angry scowl twisted at her expression.

"What?"

"It's Stiles" she sighed heavily, "I'm sorry, I'll tell him to go-"

"It's fine" she shrugged, "let him in. I need to tell him something"

Lydia knew that whatever she had to say wouldn't be good, especially with that cold and callous tone she suddenly slipped into but wasn't about to deny her friend closure so just simply nodded, making her way down the stairs to answer the door to see an impatient Stiles on the other side.

"Lydia, hey, sorry for just showing up but I really need to speak to Kayla but she's not at the hotel or answering the phone and it's really important so do you know where she-oh" his words stuttered to a stop as she just sidestepped to reveal Kayla standing halfway up the staircase, an expressionless look covering her features.

He seemed totally speechless for a few seconds, soaking up the sight of her passive expression before gulping, slowly stepping over the threshold.

"... Hey..."

Kayla scoffed, "hey? Really? _Hey?"_

"I... I-I'm sorry" he whispered, and even though his voice was faint he knew she could hear him, "what I said... I was being a dick. I never meant to give up on you, not even for a second..."

"But you did" she pointed out, "you gave up and walked away when I needed you the most... When I just found out my daughter... My daughter... Her grave was... And now her coffin is gone..." She could hardly get the words out, her throat tightening, "but why does that matter right? I'm just a slut with no feelings huh?"

Stiles' jaw was slack, his features morphing into disgust, "Mia's grave...? But who-"

 _"Don't you dare_ say her name" she growled, cutting him off, "and don't come any closer" she warned, seeing him taking a couple steps forward, "I've seen your true colours now and I'm done. Do what you want, I don't care" she dismissed, "hook up with a bunch of other people for all I care, add to your numbers from last night"

His eyes widened in surprise and she just scowled, "don't insult my intelligence by lying to me. I can see it all over you" she added in disgust, her gaze settling on a very faint, almost unnoticeable love bite on his neck that he hadn't covered up, "so do me a favour and get the fuck out of my life because I meant what I said... You were my biggest mistake..."

"Kaylz..." He whispered tearfully, "let me help you. I _want_ to help you"

"You're not listening to me, are you?" She asked in aggravation, "I don't _want_ your help. What I want is for you to get to fuck and stay well away from me. You blame me for that video?" She asked rhetorically, "I didn't even _know_ it was getting filmed. I didn't upload it either. But like you said Stiles... Sluts will be sluts, right?"

He shook his head quickly, "I didn't mean that-"

" _Yes you did"_ she snapped, "of course you meant it otherwise you wouldn't have said it. And I... It hurt" she added quietly, "because you made me love you all over again when I didn't want to, when I was too scared to feel incase it destroyed me, but you kept pushing and just when I started feeling comfortable with you... Trusting you... Feeling like, to you, I was worth something, you say that and it... It just shows me your true colours. And your true colours aren't nice Stiles... You're a bitter, jealous, controlling, obsessive little hypocrite-" she ranted, "-and I want nothing to do with you. So go back to that sweet little blonde whose legs you were between and see if I care"

He shook his head, "y-you don't mean that"

"Don't I?" She said coolly, "watch my lips - _**I. Despise. You.**_ And I don't care anymore. I'm done caring. I'm _done_ Stiles"

"Kaylz-"

" _I'm done"_ she repeated, "get on with your life and I'll get on with mine. Come near me again..." Her eyes flashed green in warning, "... I'll show you how it feels to be paralysed from the waist down - _permanently_ "

 **A/N) uh ohhhhhh things ain't good lmao but another heavy chapter (sorry) but on the bright side, the school episode soon where they get stuck in the school during psats yay, sorry for the angst but I can't wait to hear what you all think so please please review and I shall see you all real soon X**

 **Also: poll about new book title is still up**

 **Double also: published a stayla college year fic idea thing and sneak peaks to this book also, enjoy X**


	41. Chapter 41 - Teeth

**Disclaimer: teen wolf not mine, wow you guys all rock so much I love you all and your thoughts it's amazing that you're all so passionate I love it so a massive thankful shoutout to Ashleymcd25, x XRoweenaJAugistineX x, guest, linda96, BeccaSco, peachy48, Senjaninja, Dark Angel Assasin's, Sara, guest, hope, to Sara, tough love, guest, guest, EllieDragon X 2 and to guest, you all rock and I love the controversy and passion you all have all your reviews make me so damn happy and I hope you like this next chapter X**

"Kaylz..."

"I don't want to hear it" she shook her head, "despite everything telling me not to, I gave us a chance. I believed that you were the one who would always look past my bad, and see the good. But you can't come around here, wanting forgiveness or whatever other crap you want from me, when I know what you really think of me - which is a shame because I never thought you would be the type of person to call me that. I thought you were better than that. But maybe you're right, maybe I _am_ just a slut that opens her legs too much, but that doesn't mean I have to put up with you and your lashing out. You can't handle me at my worst? Then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. So go to hell"

He didn't want this. He didn't want this bitterness or nastiness between them. He just wanted to apologise, to throw his hands up and say that yes, what he said was dead wrong, and that just because he broke up with her it didn't mean he didn't love her anymore. It was because he loved her that he broke up with her, knowing he couldn't be too involved or attached if he wanted to help her. And he so so badly wanted to help her.

"I was just angry... I didn't mean it" he whispered, "I don't think that of you and I _never_ have. You're right - you can have sex with whoever you want when you were single, that's your choice... I just get... Jealous... And bitter..." He explained sadly, "and I lash out"

She shook her head, "you're a hypocrite Stiles. You put me down for doing what I want when I was single, but the moment you decide to break up with me, you jump into bed with someone else? You absolute fucking _hypocrite_ " she sent him a distasteful look, "you know what? She's _welcome_ to you. I've been through too much shit, most of it to save your ass, to feel like I'm constantly not good enough for your screwed up sense of superiority. To feel like I'm not trying hard enough when that's all I'm doing. Trying. Persistently. Continually. Maybe to you it doesn't look like I am, but I am. All the time. And it's so hard. Life is hard. Living with these emotions coming back is pure fucking agony Stiles... I just hide it well. And yeah, I mess up. I say things without thinking, I do things on impulse, I hurt the people around me, I get drunk and high and bad things happen... But I'm trying to fix it. I'm trying my best... Why has it never been good enough for you?"

She didn't even realise she was crying, hot tears sliding down her cheeks.

His own eyes stung with tears, his chest aching with deep hurt, "it is good enough. That's all I want"

"No..." She shook her head, looking down at him from the middle of the stairs, "I've never been good enough for you and we both know it. Stiles Stilinski with the straight A's, daddy the sheriff, white guy complex... Destined to have the 2.5 kids, white picket fence, soccer mom wife. Not me" she shook her head, "not a fucking disaster. Or mess. Or whore. Or whatever name you wanna call me. So I'm done" she shrugged tiredly, "I'm done with you. I'm _out_. So please, go back to whoever it was you screwed and stay the hell away from me. I mean it"

"Kaylz... I'm sorry, you have to believe that"

"I don't _have_ to believe anything that comes out of your mouth" she wiped at her nose and cheeks, trying to rid herself of the tears, "now go. And don't bother trying to speak to me again or trying to 'fix' me anymore... I'm not broken. I am who I am, and I'm a survivor. If you don't like who I am now, that's your problem, not mine"

He stepped forward before she could climb the rest of the stairs, his eyes wide and pleading, "Kay... Baby... You're my only one. Please don't walk away from us..."

She scoffed under her breath, "no Stiles, you did that the moment you degraded me and slept with someone else" she didn't even give him the satisfaction of sparing him another glance before she turned and walked away up the stairs, making sure to slam Lydia's bedroom door shut just to make sure he got the message that she was way past done and he would be wasting his time even trying to reconcile with her, her stubbornness shining through.

He flinched at the loud bang the door gave, turning his crestfallen gaze to Lydia who was staring right back at him, an eyebrow quirked as she stared him out.

"I know you're going to be on Kayla's side-"

"I'm not on anyone's side" she threw her hands up in surrender, "you've both screwed up so badly I literally can't keep up anymore. But just bear in mind she's been through a lot. We lost Kayla, but she lost all of us for a lot longer. It's a complex situation and there is no easy fix for this"

He sighed heavily, rubbing at his teary eyes, "I just wish I could go back in time and stop this all from happening. Stop her from killing herself to save me. If I could, we wouldn't be in this mess"

"Maybe" Lydia shrugged, "but there is no changing time. What's done is done" she gave him a critical once over, pursing her lips a little, "did you actually sleep with someone else?"

"Yeah... Sort of" he admitted, "and the scary thing is I kind of like her. I don't blame Kayla for hating me"

"She doesn't hate you" Lydia murmured, "she's um... She's just going through something at the moment and she doesn't quite know how to cope with it. That's why she's here. She needed someone to understand"

He frowned in worry, a sickening lurch tugging his gut, "Mia?" He guessed, "what exactly happened?"

"Well, that too" Lydia said softly, "someone ruined her grave, dug it up and stole her bones. It's disgusting - she was just a baby, she deserved to rest in peace"

"What's the other thing?" He asked curiously but was sure Lydia flinched a little, a painful grimace passing her face.

"I uh... I can't tell you" she replied gingerly, "but it's bad. Really bad. And I'm not surprised she's acting out. She needs to feel in control of something in her life. The life she didn't want" she added sadly, "she didn't want to come back Stiles and they forced her back to life. I can't even imagine how terrible that feeling is"

He gulped noisily, a nervous sweat seizing the back of his neck, "Lydia... What happened?"

The strawberry blonde just shook her head softly, "she asked me not to tell you and I can't break a promise like that. Not to my best friend. But just know I'm looking after her, okay?"

A ton of terrible thoughts passed through his brain, each worse than the last, his imagination going into overdrive.

"Lydia, please..." He begged, stepping towards her, "what happened to her?"

She just simply smiled in sympathy, "if she wants to talk to you about it, then she will. Until then-" she sighed heavily, "-maybe it's best you go?" She suggested, "take this time to figure out what it is you actually want. Or who you want" she added delicately, "because going from hot to cold and vice versa with her isn't fair, on either of you"

He was caught between a rock and a hard place with a whole helped pile of crap on top of him. He just didn't know how to sort out this situation - he had absolutely no fricking idea.

"Yeah... Yeah I suppose it isn't" he agreed with a mumble, trying so damn hard not to cry, "so what do I do?"

Lydia pursed her lips, "that's for you to figure out Stiles. No one can make that choice for you"

He gave a resound nod, casting one more look up the stairs as he half hoped Kayla would reappear, be willing to talk things through but she never came back, too hurt and too angry to even stand looking at him.

So he left. He did what she asked because he was in too much turmoil to put up resistance. Lydia was right, he needed to get his head right, to truly find out what both his heart and head was telling him. He couldn't make any rash decisions. It wasn't a case of even flipping a coin. This was his life and he needed to not mess it up anymore than it already was. He had to choose - stand by Kayla like he promised, to help her because he owed her his life, or leave and never look back. Cut all ties and call it quits - for good.

And he hated how unsure he was about _either_ option.

* * *

"We could order pizza if you like? Triple pepperoni? I could even get extra garlic bread and dip?"

Humans were funny creatures, thinking something as trivial as food could make everything better. Like a pizza would help her from stopping falling apart. If only it were that simple.

She sighed heavily, "I'm not hungry"

She felt Lydia's gaze on her, unwavering and intense, studying her carefully as she walked on eggshells, trying to decide what to say. What she could possibly do to help her friend.

"Are you sure?" She asked softly, coming to perch on the bed next to her, "you haven't eaten all day"

"Because I'm not hungry" she repeated slowly, crossing her legs over each other, "don't make me eat"

"I won't" Lydia reassured, "I'm just worried, that's all"

Kayla snorted, "in case you find me hanging from the ceiling fan?"

She sent her a displeased frown, "no, because you're my best friend and I know when things get too much, you spiral and I don't want that to happen this time. If you need to talk, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere"

"Talking is overrated"

"That's your problem Kay" Lydia said softly, "you keep everything so close to your own chest and you don't let people in. You always have your guard up"

"Can you blame me?" She muttered, "everyone around me either dies or leaves me. Look at Stiles" she pointed out, "I opened up to him. I let him see parts of me that no one else has ever seen. We would stay up for hours just talking. I told him pretty much everything and I hated doing it, I hated being weak, but he would hold my hand or kiss me and let me know that everything's okay. And now he's... He's... Gone. He couldn't handle all my baggage. And he's the one person I... The person that I... I... Really wanted in my life. So that's where talking gets me - being alone and judged and hated"

"Kay..." She reached out, her small warm hand landing on top of Kayla's, "you don't _ever_ have to worry about that with me. I will always be here for you. _Always_ " she emphasised, "you believe that, don't you?"

She gave a small one shouldered shrug, "you'll leave one day, too. Just give it time"

It absolutely crushed Lydia to hear those words because she knew how badly Kayla fully believed them. She thought Lydia would leave her all alone, something she would never ever do - best friends don't do that.

She squeezed her hand a little tighter, trying to catch her gaze, "Kay... I'll never leave you. I promise, no matter what, you will always have me. It doesn't matter where you are, who you're with or what you do, you will still be my best friend and best friends don't abandon each other"

"... I abandoned you" Kayla mumbled making Lydia cock an eyebrow in confusion, "I left you when I died. I didn't think about the consequences for you guys, all I thought about was saving Stiles. So I abandoned you. Some best friend huh?"

"I wouldn't expect anything less from you - you saved your soulmate... That was our consolation. That you didn't die in vain. It hurt Kay, it did, but you didn't abandon me... I was proud that you fought so hard, right till the end"

"I... I tried y'know?" She whispered, blinking back the tears as she gazed shyly at the strawberry blonde, "I tried to stay awake a little longer... I had so much more to tell you guys but I... I couldn't" she added helplessly, "I... I couldn't hold on. The uh... The last thing I saw was his eyes. Those eyes I love so much... And then everything I knew was gone. I really thought I had accepted dying, but the truth is I wasn't ready. I wasn't _ready_ Lydia" she shook her head a little as her friend scooted closer to her, wiping away her scorching hot tears, "and... I got so used to being dead, to having no one and being in constant pain... That I don't know how to live. I don't know how to... To do _this_ " she flung her arm out between them, "this people thing. The caring and the morals. I don't understand it and I'm... I'm sorry"

"You don't have to apologise, it isn't your fault" she reassured, "I don't blame you. I love you silly" her friend gave her a beaming smile, "you don't need Stiles because you're strong, you're independent and you can do this. You can do life. In fact, you can kick life's ass" she encouraged, "and I'll be right by your side the whole time"

She chuckled waterly, wiping at her damp cheeks, "I don't know about that"

"Trust me Kay-" Lydia smiled, "-you can. I've got your back"

And that was all she was wanting to hear.

* * *

"That sounds harsh"

"She's right though" Stiles mumbled sadly, "I _am_ being a hypocrite. I made her feel bad for having sex when we weren't even together then I did the same thing. Well... Kind of" he added, flushing a little as he peaked over to Sophie, "and now she really does hate me"

The blonde stared at him in sympathy from her seat on his computer chair, idly spinning the chair from side to side as she pursed her lips, "so are you two... Done? For good?"

"... Yeah" he whispered sadly, "I still want to help her though, I just don't know how to"

"I'm sorry" she said softly, "it sounds like you're really cut up about it"

"When you thought someone was your life, and then suddenly they don't want to be apart of it, it hurts. In fact it's a killer" he snorted a little, raising the glass to his lips as he sipped away at the bourbon, "it's like I'm right back to square one when she died all those months ago"

He didn't realise his slip up, not until her eyes widened dramatically, her jaw slipping open a little.

"Died? What do you mean _died?"_

"Uh..."

"Are you all involved in a cult?"

"What? No-"

"Satan worshippers?"

"Oh god no-"

"Criminals?"

"Only like 36% of the time"

She paled a little, "usually when people die, they stay dead"

He used to think that too, at one point.

"Uh... It's kinda hard to explain" he put his drink aside, pushing himself up in the bed, "meaning I can't explain it because it'll sound crazy and then you'll leave and probably call the cops, you just have to trust me okay?"

" _Trust_ you? I've known you for twenty four hours"

"Twenty seven actually" he corrected, "please Sophie... It's better you don't know"

She quirked a brow, "this is Beacon Hills. I may not have grown up here or even stayed here that long, but I know there's a lot of weird stuff that goes on. I'm not blind" she added, "it was only last year there was reports of a giant Lizard running around the place"

Yeah, Jackson. God, who would've thought he would think chasing Kanima Jackson was a simple time in his life.

"Beacon Hills is weird" he agreed, "but you don't want to get mixed up its weirdness because then there's no getting out. If there's something I can do for you to say thank you for listening to me, then this would be it. To keep you far away from the mess"

She pursed her lips, "fine, just... Tell me one thing?" He nodded, "when you said 'dead'... You meant _literally_ dead, didn't you?"

Her blue eyes were now not afraid or alarmed, just curious, peering towards him in total unwavering fascination.

"... Yeah" he admitted, "dead, gone and buried. The worst two months of my life" he admitted, blowing out a long steady breath to try and control his emotions, feeling her shift forward, pulling herself across the floor on his computer chair to sit directly opposite him, "I would uh... Visit her grave everyday... Take flowers even though she hated the cliche of it, but it was always so bare, so empty... Imagine that uh... That I was holding her hand instead of the dirt... If there was ever a time I didn't want to live, it was then. I could've died and been fine with it. But I couldn't give up because she never gave up on me..."

Sophie frowned, reaching out for his hand, "you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to"

"Its not that, I just..." He blew out a quick exhale, "I forgot I went two months without her"

She smiled sympathetically, "and you survived. It was hard but you did it. You lived" she whispered with a small shrug, "so although it feels crappy walking away from her... You can survive it. You can get through it. Break ups are... Heart wrenching" she settled on saying, "but normal"

"... She slept with one of my friends" he murmured, "the guy I'm so damn jealous of and she just went and... And did that. It's so wrong"

"You don't sound like you're over that"

"I'm not" he nodded, "so how do you suggest I get rid of that anger?"

Her lips quirked, "this is going to sound so overrated but, well... Forgiveness"

He screwed his face up. "Yeah okay, that _is_ overrated"

"I'm serious" she chuckled a little before sobering up, turning serious, "forgive that guy - your friend. Accept that what's done is done and be willing to move on because you don't want your jealousy or bitterness to hold you back"

"Hm" he frowned, "I suppose that's pretty sound advice"

"Told you so"

"I just don't know if I can do it" he admitted, "it's more complicated than that. He - my friend - has kinda, well, wanted her for a long time. But he swears he's over it I just... Don't think I can trust him"

"Trust doesn't get built back over night, it's a process" she explained, "so try just saying hi to him, maybe sit next to him in class, heck even lend him a pencil if he doesn't have one. Start out small and see how you feel with that, and if you still feel like punching him then, well..." She shrugged, "my only answer to that is anger management"

He snorted under his breath at the irony - his anger right now was definitely out of control and he doubted some anger management classes would help, especially with the nogitsunes influence still residing inside him.

"Well we uh... We'll see how it goes but advice accepted"

She smiled, "glad I could help"

He smiled back, catching her gaze before starting to feel a little hot under the collar and glanced down, blowing out a long breath, "so uh... Can I get you a drink?"

"I don't really drink" she muttered, "alcohol doesn't taste very nice"

She was becoming more and more the complete opposite of Kayla it was actually scary - maybe that's why he was so attracted to her, because she didn't remind him of Kayla one bit and he needed that right now. He needed not to think about her.

He smirked, "what about some coffee?"

"I've already had three cups today, don't want to over exceed my limit"

"Uh... Juice?"

She screwed her face up, "too sour"

"Milk?"

"I'm allergic to dairy"

"Wow, okay" he whistled as she started laughing, "I guess your only option is water then?"

"I'm actually good for now, thank you though" she caught his hand before he could stand, "uh..." She looked down at their hands, slowly retracting her own, "it's um... Getting a bit late now, maybe I should go?"

"Only if you want to?" He asked shyly, sitting back down carefully, "are your parents expecting you home?"

She swallowed thickly but shook her head, "they're uh... Away for the weekend"

"O-Oh?" His eyebrows shot up, "uh... So you could stay a little longer then? Only if you wanted?"

"Do um... Do you want me to?"

A nervous sweat seized the back of his neck, a blush spreading across his cheeks, "uh... Y-Yeah, yeah I think so"

When thinking back to this moment, he did think he should have slowed his roll because he was hurt and acting out, needing to feel wanted and cared for. He was being needy, not thinking about the consequences.

 **{Warning - non-Stayla smut - sorry peeps}**

His hands trailed along her body, touching every inch of her, his fingertips scorching with heat as they explored her creamy skin, slowly peeling off her layers of clothes so they dropped to the floor, the tips of his nails insistent yet gentle as they dug into her flesh, pulling her forward onto his lap as his warm lips trailed hungry kisses down the curve of her neck, palms cupping her bare hips just above the band of her underwear.

He was so wrapped up in the moment, so totally infatuated that he didn't stop her from tugging off his shirt, just let her pull it down his arms until he was free from the constricting material and her cool breath tickled his collar bone as she leaned down, her lips sensually wrapping around his collar bone.

He collapsed back onto the bed, sliding his hands through her silky soft hair as he allowed her time to explore his body, his skin humming and muscles clenching in dizzying arousal as she savoured the feel and taste of him, kissing along his bare skin with such tenderness he felt himself burning up, letting out a low guttural groan.

Both their skins stuck to one another, slick with intense warmth and sweat as he flipped them over, hovering above her petite body he wanted to feel wrapped around his own, his daring fingers sliding her plain black bra from her body so he could circle his tongue around her peaked nipple, pinching the other between his fingers.

She gasped, squirming a little at the red hot pleasure coursing wildly through her veins as he disappeared back between her thighs, his arms wrapping around her legs to bring her closer as he buried himself deeper, his mouth pulsating around her core, tongue sliding through her slick folds as he worked her, getting her wet so he could swallow the taste of her.

She knew she should be shy about this, and she was, but the immense pleasure his mouth gave her drowned away any insecurities and doubts, restlessly jerking and bucking as she tried to quell her moans, beads of sweat trickling from the curve of her neck and her breasts, sliding down her slender torso just as he pushed himself up, tongue tracing patterns back up her body before kissing her passionately, his brown eyes unwavering from hers.

"If uh... If you want to uh... To y'know... I'll be gentle" he promise, "but no pressure"

Her cheeks flared an even brighter red, gazing up shyly at him, "w-will it hurt?"

"Maybe" he didn't know, too used to Kayla's high pain tolerance and her love for rough sex, "but it shouldn't, not too much anyway"

She bit her lip, hands curling around his broad shoulders, "um... Can you um... Go slow?"

He nodded quickly, "of course"

Just to be safe, he kneeled back, grabbing some lube to rub against her before rolling a spare condom he found buried in his bed side table along his cock, pushing it up as far as it would go and caught her wide eyed gaze, quirking a brow.

"What?"

"N-Nothing just uh... How um... How does that fit in... Uh... You are rather, um... Big..."

He smirked, "you'd be surprised"

He helped her relax, kissing her chest then her neck, slowly starting to grind against her before grabbing a firm grip of his cock and guiding it towards her entrance, slowly pushing into her but her hands latched onto his hips, stopping him from going in too deep.

"I won't go all the way, don't worry" he reassured, voice husky as he sunk just a little deeper, stretching her and making her gasp a little as he finally stilled, just the tip and a few extra inches buried inside her.

"You okay?"

She was biting her lip but nodded, her hands sliding up to grasp his shoulders firmly as he began moving, his thrusts well controlled and slow, reaching down with a single hand to circle her clit and she moaned loudly, laying her legs flat on the bed but he shook his head, whispering for her to "wrap them around his hips" which she did, giving him a better angle.

And he kept his promise, taking it slow the entire time as he moved over her, desperate to take her deeper and harder as his stomach clenched in pleasurable knots but refrained, kissing around the lobe of her ear and curve of her neck, lightly sinking his teeth into her neck as she writhed and moaned in mind numbing pleasure, the burn of pain still apparent but lessening the more he moved.

And, for a while, it felt good to just not think about anything. To focus on himself for a change. To genuinely make someone else happy and feel wanted as he kept touching her, eliciting these beautiful moans as she unravelled, sinking her sharp nails into his neck at the foreign but pleasurable waves curling inside her and he shuddered, dropping to his forearms as he shook, his lips settling against her ear.

He didn't know if he should say this, if maybe it was too crude for her innocence, but he groaned, mumbling a husky "your virgin pussy feels so fricking good" his entire body trembling as he inched closer and closer to the edge, hips speeding up a little.

She wrapped her arms around his neck as he collapsed on top of her, lower stomach clenching as he came, vision blackening around the edges.

Shit.

That was so good.

So selfish of him, but _so_ damn good.

He tried to catch his breath, gulping back mouthfuls of air as he rolled onto his side, peeling off the wet condom and tying a loose knot in it before throwing it blindly into his trash can and collapsing onto his back next to her.

 **{end of smut - again, so sorry, lmao}**

"Wow" he mumbled, swiping a hand across his forehead, "uh... That was okay, yeah?"

It was a little too vanilla for him, too careful and different to what he was used to but still good none the less - or maybe that was the proudness of taking someone's v-card, he didn't know.

She was still breathing heavily, chest rising and falling rapidly, "well, um... I don't really have anything to compare it to but, um, yeah, yeah I think so"

He smiled, "good"

And then he fell asleep, praying to god the guilt wouldn't make him regret it in the morning.

* * *

She waited for Lydia to fall asleep before she left quietly, grabbing a spare pair of tight jeans and a long sleeved red shirt, making sure most of her visible bruises were covered up before slipping out the window and half walking-half limping downtown to the bar she ended up in the other night. Well... What she _thought_ was the bar she ended up in. She wasn't sure, not really remembering where she ended up or how she got there but she guessed and choose one, flashing her fake ID and grabbing a seat at the overcrowded bar.

She didn't really know why she thought coming here would help. Maybe she wanted to retrace her steps, see if there was anything she could have done. Or maybe she was hoping those men would turn up, just so she could get a good look at them and hate them from afar. Half her memories were missing, and despite how traumatising they would be, she hated not knowing.

Not knowing was sometimes the worst.

So she ordered one drink. Then two. Then three, and before she knew it she had downed six just to calm her nerves because she was getting hot and sweaty from being uncomfortable, her breathing rate increasing as she tapped her fingernails along the wooden bar.

It was now well after two, they weren't going to show. Maybe she had the wrong bar. Or maybe they had already been and gone. Or maybe they were being respectable citizens and at home with their families, she didn't know.

But just as she went to pay her tab and stand up, the hairs on the back of her neck stood erect as she shivered, feeling numerous gazes on her she threw a cautious glance over her shoulder, seeing three pairs of dark lidded eyes staring her out.

Maybe this was just intuition, but she knew it was them. She just knew. She had already felt their hands, their bodies, their breath, she knew their stares from a mile away because it made her feel so fucking sick, queasiness twisting her gut.

Now she really was stuck. She didn't think about what she would do if they turned up, she didn't plan this or think this far ahead. All she knew was she wanted them punished. She wanted to know why. She wanted them to _pay_.

She tried to steady her breathing, to calm herself down but she was drowning again, trying to swim to the surface but the more she got dragged down as she paid her bill and left, taking the back exit.

She felt them following her, could practically sense their greedy smirks as she escaped through the service entrance into the alleyway, finding the right to be a dead end and the left to lead down a narrow pathway that seemed to go on for miles, neither option looking good.

"Aw" a deep voice mocked, "is the little lamb lost? Such a shame"

Hatred spilled through her veins but her anger and disgust was being extinguished by her fear - so raw and powerful she couldn't even turn around to look at them.

"You came back for round two, I see" another, more huskier drawl mumbled, "little slut obviously enjoys a gangbang"

She froze, her head aching as flashes tore through her mind - how unwanted their touches was, the vile words, the pain... It hurt so damn much, why would they put her through that?

"I knew you enjoyed it" another voice was much closer to her ear than she realised, his smokey breath tickling her lobe, "and my favourite time with you was when you were on your knees" his large hands cupped her shoulders, pushing her down, "so get on your knees"

She didn't object, letting him push her down because her anger was too deep rooted and intense but so was her terror, tears blurring her vision as he stepped in front of her, slowly unbuckling his belt so the metal clanged, pulling open his zipper before cupping her chin harshly and forcing her head up to look at him.

He wasn't what she was expecting - clean shaven and handsome but slightly ragged, a cigarette stuck behind his ear as he stared at her with pitch black eyes, a smug smirk tugging at his lips.

"Now, remember sweetheart-" he told her, using his free hand to tug himself free, "-no teeth"

She couldn't do this.

She couldn't be weak.

She couldn't let him live.

She was too ashamed, too exhausted with feeling dirty and used to not give him what he deserves. He was a sick bastard, and she was more than ready to channel her hurt and anger into revenge. Into pain for him and his sick friends.

So, in a daze, she did as he asked - at the start. Lulling him into a false sense of security as white hot anger surged through her, her limbs literally shaking with hatred as she suddenly let her eyes flash that dangerous green she hadn't been able to channel since she lost feeling in her legs, sharp teeth forming as she bit down - hard.

His scream was like music to her ears as she tore through the fragile skin, ripping it away from his body as she pushed him away, wiping at her mouth and dodging the spurts of blood that erupted from his body.

" _Oh my god"_ he screamed, "no, _no_... _**Ahhhhh**_ "

His so called friends left them, running away in terror, tripping and falling over each other in their haste to escape but she just calmly stood, wiping the blood away from her mouth as she cast a cold and callous look to the man who had fallen to his knees in front of her, cupping between his legs in agony.

"Doesn't feel very nice does it?" She asked just as he started crying, wailing in agony, "it felt like that for me you know? But yet you didn't stop. You kept going, time after time..."

"You sick bitch"

"Maybe" she agreed, stepping towards him, "but you're the one that couldn't keep your dick in your pants..." She smirked as she cast a look just several feet to the left of him where his torn off genitalia was, "well, now you get your wish"

He was caught between shouting, screaming and crying, in total agony but she didn't care, she didn't have the capacity to, because this man, this man caused her so much pain and trauma he deserved everything he got.

And she planned on giving it to him.

Punch after punch after punch, holding him upright by a hand curled around the collar of his tee as she smashed his head in, brutally breaking every single bone in his face until she was physically too exhausted to carry on and ended up letting his battered broken body fall slumped to the ground, her knuckles bruised and bloody.

And although she knew this wasn't healthy, she needed to feel in control.

She needed to let her anger out.

She needed to find out how to cope and maybe this was it. Punishing the worthy.

Oh well...

She flickered her gaze up to the empty alley where the other two men were just several minutes ago, beginning to whistle a lazy but doomed tune as she walked slowly down the Tarmac...

... One down, two to go.

 **A/N) okay so so much drama ha but OMG stiles wtf u doing, and Lydia and Kayla are friendship goals and holy shit Kayla kicks ass haha Lmao hope you all liked snd please please review they inspire me so much and I shall see you all real soon love you all xxx**


	42. Chapter 42 - Quarenteened

**Disclaimer: teen wolf does not belong to me - I'm continued to be blown away by your support and a massive thankful shoutout to Unmajestically, x XRoweenaJAugustineX x, Ashleymcd25 (so sorry lol), peachy48 (sorry for the heartbreak ha), Senjaninja, hope, linda96, guest (omg u try'na kill me that is so damn sadddd, oh wow), 1, guest and EllieDragon hope you all enjoy this next update X**

When he woke up that morning, he did feel awkward. It had never felt this awkward before after sex. Normally he would wake up, maybe watch Kayla sleep some more, have a laugh, have some more snuggles and maybe some super intense morning sex but whatever happened it felt _right_. Comfortable. Normal. But when he peeled his eyes open, he had a daunting feeling of guilt in the hollows of his stomach.

The only person he had ever been intimate with was Kayla. He hadn't even wanted to be with anyone else except her but things were changing - _he_ was changing - and he was acting out because he felt her slipping through his fingers.

And so he ended up sleeping with someone else, and just because he liked this innocent little blonde, it still felt like he was betraying what he and Kayla had because what they did have was so damn special. But maybe that was gone forever, he didn't know.

He stretched, letting out a tired groan as he rolled onto his back and his jostling must have woken up Sophie because she hummed under her breath as she came to, rubbing at her eyes tiredly.

"Morning" he whispered, his voice a little slurred, "how you doing?"

There was a faint tinge to her cheeks but she held his gaze, sinking into the pillows, "uh... Pretty good. Losing my virginity was not as bad as I thought"

He smiled, "I'm glad. I wouldn't want you to regret anything"

"I don't regret it" she sighed, a light smile pulling at her lips, "do you?"

On one hand, yeah, he did, he felt disgusted that he turned away from Kayla so easily but on the other hand, no, he shouldn't have to feel bad, especially because a part of him actually liked this girl - whether it be intellectually, romantically or sexually based he didn't know yet. Maybe she was just a breath of fresh air that he was needing right about now.

"No, it was just... Different" he said carefully, "not bad different or anything, it's just uh... Kayla's the only person I've ever, you know..."

Sophie smiled sadly, "and she's more experienced than me, right? I'm sorry you didn't enjoy it..."

 **{warning - not too detailed, non stayla smut - yeah I know I'm a horrible person lol}**

"No, no, no, I did enjoy, I did" he rushed out, "honestly, it felt really good, I'm just... Still hung up on her, and at one point she's the only person I ever saw being with... It just takes a little getting used to, that's all"

"So was I... Okay?" She asked in embarrassment, pulling the covers up a little to hide part of her face, "I mean, I haven't even watched porn so I don't know what I was supposed to do"

"You were great" he reassured, failing to mention how it was a little vanilla but just put that down to her inexperience, he was probably the same when he first lost it, in fact he was surprised he was even able to get Kayla off that first time, "so tight too, maybe that's because you're so petite but my cock definitely liked it"

He could see the redness spilling into her cheeks before she let out an uncomfortable laugh and buried her head into the duvet, making him smirk.

"What? Does my dirty talk make you squirm?"

"I've just never heard anything of the sort before" she mumbled, peaking out at him, "oh gosh, I'm turning red aren't I?"

He chuckled, reaching forward to brush some hair from her face, "yeah, but it's cute"

"Shut up"

"I'm serious" he laughed, "so uh... Do you want to maybe try again?"

Her eyes widened, "You mean uh... Having sex?"

"Yeah" he nodded, "your second time should be a lot less painful"

She bit her bottom lip - hard - but soon give him a shy nod, "o-okay. But don't go fast. Or deep. It's kind of scary"

"I won't" he promised, reaching under the covers to begin stroking his cock to a steady rhythm, grasping it tightly as he hurried to get himself hard and she was watching him, curiousity on her features. He reached for her hand, guiding it to his cock so she could feel the bulge grow and harden, jerking his hips against her warm palm before rolling over onto her as he peppered her skin in light, playful kisses, grinding between her legs with his bare cock as she gasped and reached up, sinking her nails into his shoulder blades as he worked relentlessly to get her all hot and bothered, holding back a grin as her folds soaked through, making sure to take his time before taking her right there in his bed for a second time until they were both sweaty and exhausted, unable to help himself as he pressed his lips to her ear, whispering dirty things to her, things that made her blush uncontrollably like "fuck, your pussy is so damn wet" and "come on baby, cream on my cock" and his favourite because it made her squeal as he made her cum, "give it to me, give it to daddy" before he too, followed suit, grunting against her skin as he came.

 **{end of smut}**

"So.. that happened again" she panted, swiping the sweat off her forehead, "what uh... what does that make us?"

He didn't know, breathing just as heavily as he felt the sweat trickle down his chest, "uh..." but he somehow managed to take a glance at his alarm clock, his blood running cold, "oh crap, my _PSATS_ " he exclaimed, immediately jumping up and throwing the covers back so they smothered Sophie, grabbing some fresh clothes to pull on, not even having enough time to have a shower to rid himself of their sweat and body fluids on him, wincing a little as he turned to her as he shimmied on some pants, "shit, I'm sorry, they start in like twenty minutes-"

"It's okay" she smiled, but that soon dropped when she sat up, "uh... Stiles, you never uh... You never..."

He yanked on his tee before grabbing his hoody in a flurry of limbs, "never what?"

"... Wore a condom..."

He seriously didn't have the capacity to worry about this right now, pocketing his phone as he leaned down to press a quick kiss to her lips, "go to the pharmacy and get the morning after pill, I'll pay you for it when I get back, don't worry okay?"

"Okay" she smiled, "see you later"

He gave a fleeting two fingered wave as he ran down the stairs, grabbing his jeep keys as he jumped in, praying to god it would start but the damn jeep was testing him, taking several times until it chugged to life and he broke the speed limit all the way there, parking haphazardly and rather squint but didn't care as he ran into the school, spotting his group of friends and skidded up to them.

"Oh jeez... I'm not late am I?" He gasped, placing his hands on his knees.

"No, you're fine" Scott reassured, "did you not set your alarm?"

No, he was too busy getting it on with a five foot, blonde haired, blue eyed Australian girl to even care when his alarm was due to go off - but of course he never said that.

"Uh... Yeah. Yeah guess I forgot" he shrugged off, pushing himself back up and only then noticed Isaac and Paige standing side by side holding hands next to Malia, his jaw clenching a little as he realised Paige must have forgiven Isaac despite him being the snakiest guy Stiles had ever met, not even sparing them a glance as he looked at Scott and Kira, "so... What have I missed?"

Scott quirked a brow, "nothing much" giving him a thorough once over before sniffing discreetly, a confused frown tugging at his brows, "uh... Did you make up with Kayla?" Because all Stiles smelt of was sex, sex and _more_ sex.

His back stiffened, wishing he woke up just five minutes earlier so he had time to have a shower, "um... No. No we haven't made up. In fact we're broken up. For good, let's not say anymore about it yeah?" He knew the guilt was evident on his features as all three werewolves - Scott, Isaac and even Malia - sent him a wondering look as they sniffed him.

"So who did you have sex with?"

"Malia..." Kira whispered, shaking her head as she saw Stiles uncomfortableness but Malia didn't care, folding her arms.

"It's a simple question"

"And none of your business" he said stonily, sending Malia a pointed look, "so drop it"

"I would drop it" Isaac whispered, leaning down to speak in her ear, "don't piss him off"

Malia rolled her eye but listened to Isaac as Paige rolled backwards and forwards on the balls of her feet, sensing the tension and feeling a little - okay, _a lot_ \- out of place, "well... This isn't awkward at all" she added sarcastically, dropping her gaze to the marble floor, "when is this PSAT supposed to start?"

"Now" Kira replied nervously, wringing her hands, "this is not going to go well"

"You'll do great" Scott reassured, kissing the side of her head, "trust me"

But before any more could be said, they all heard the front doors opening and glanced over their shoulders and saw a very disheveled Kayla walk through, still with a very obvious limp but what they all noticed first was how unlike Kayla she actually was - no hair brushed, baggy clothes and eyes diverted.

Stiles gulped, his muscles tensing as he watched her before deliberately turning his back to her because looking at her was too hard, especially after what he had done, but still felt her presence as she walked up to the small group.

"Uh... Scott, can I have a word?" She asked and when he couldn't take it anymore and glanced around at her, she was deliberately avoiding everyone's stares and just peering over at Scott, a needy desperate look shining in her eyes.

Scott gulped, squeezing Kira's hand before nodding, "of course" side stepping around everyone and taking her forearm to guide her back down the corridor and against the lockers, their heads pressed closely together and Stiles just frowned, wondering why on earth Kayla would turn up, looking a state wanting Scott's company.

His jaw clenched, his tongue poking into his cheek as he watched their exchange and could practically sense Isaac's eye roll but ignored him, or tried to until he spoke up, "Stiles, just drop it. He's obviously just helping her"

"Oh shut it" he grumbled, scoffing under his breath.

"Wait... What did you do?" Scott asked her in worry, keeping his voice lowered.

"I... I messed up. Again" she admitted, "I just... I got so mad and they were there again, trying to make me do things that I didn't want to do, I didn't want it so I... I made him stop"

He frowned in worry, "how exactly?"

Tears filled her eyes, suddenly looking so vulnerable and small Scott just wanted to wrap her up in his jacket, "... I uh... I killed him" he bottom lip wobbled, "by uh... By biting off his um... Y'know..."

"Oh... Oh _ow_ "

"I didn't want it" she repeated, "not again. And then I remembered everything they did to me and I just snapped and..." She cut herself off, inhaling sharply, "and my DNA will be _all_ over him" she added helplessly, "I can't talk myself out of this one, not like I did before. I'm falling apart Scott and I don't... I don't know what to do"

"Hey... Shhh" he stroked her arm, "it's okay. Take a deep breath alright?"

She tried to but her chest was tight, unable to get much air into her lungs.

"It was um... It was self defence right?"

"I uh... I guess so" she shrugged, "a little extreme form of self defence but I... I didn't want it to happen again. And he was making me... On my knees... And I couldn't go through that again-"

"It's okay" Scott whispered soothingly, "I'll fix it for you. We can call Derek, get him to help - where uh... Where did you put his body?"

"Dumpster" she replied as she wiped her nose, "the other two got away"

He winced, "are they witnesses?"

"Yeah" she mumbled, "I'm screwed aren't I?"

"Not if I have anything to do with it" he promised, "and I'm not condoning what you did, not one bit, but what they did to you... They shouldn't be allowed to get away with that"

"I'm... I'm sorry for unloading this on you" she apologised, "uh... Go take your test. I shouldn't have bothered you"

"If you ever need my help, I'll always be here" he whispered, pulling her into a tight hug, "that's what friends are for right?"

It felt so foreign that word still... _Friends_. She hadn't had friends in so long and had pushed away everyone that cared about her, she was surprised people still even bothered with her. She probably wouldn't if she was in their position.

So she just hugged him back, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt as she held him close, breathing in his warm, naturally calming scent as she let her eyes briefly shut because with Scott she felt safe, she didn't feel judged or accused, she just felt normal - and she so badly needed normal right now, whatever that was.

And Stiles just watched this exchange with narrowed eyes, feeling wild, bitter jealousy coursing through his veins because as much as he was hurt and furious with her, he didn't like anyone else comforting her - not like that, not so intimately because that's his job... Or _was_ his job... And he didn't care how ' _innocent_ ' it was, he didn't like it, not one bit.

Malia frowned at him, leaning forwards, "they're hugging, not having sex which is something you seemed fine with doing with God knows who last night" she pointed out bluntly before turning to Kira, "is this an example of the double standards thing you were trying to explain to me?"

If they hadn't been called in to start their PSATs at that moment in time, then Stiles would be tempted to punch the werecoyote - girl or not. He scoffed, rolled his eyes and practically stomped into the room, handing over his phone with no quarrels and did his fingerprinting, throwing himself into one of the wooden seats at the desk as he fiddled with his pencils, not even glancing at Scott as he passed but his day was about to get a whole lot worse as the only remaining seat for his ex was - _naturally_ \- right next to his.

Because his luck _sucked_.

He had glanced over when she sat down, looking like she didn't want to be here but with a sharp look from Ms Martin she didn't put up any fight, too exhausted to even argue back so just continued sitting and sucked it up, twirling her pen as she sighed, twisting her head to glare at him.

"What?" She snapped, gritting her teeth.

"So was Isaac not enough for you?" He whispered angrily, "you wanting to screw Scott too, make it a triple whammy?"

She scoffed, "you're unbelievable Stiles. Sex is the last thing on my mind right now"

"That's unlikely - it seems it's all you care about"

She was about to retaliate back in anger but saw a faint love bite on the side of his neck, almost hidden by the collar of his hoody and all at once, all the fight left her, hurt blossoming in her gut.

"... Touché" she whispered, turning away from him because she just didn't have the energy to deal with his crap right now, especially because he was three feet away from her but blatantly ignored him, leaving him to mutter under his breath as he started flipping through his test paper.

"Please do not open the test booklet until you are instructed to do so. This test is two hours and 10 minutes. There will be two 25-minute critical reading sections, two 25-minute math sections and an essay writing portion that will last 30 minutes. There are supposed to be two teachers monitoring this exam?"

Ms Martin shrugged, "it's coach uh... Let me see if I can find him..."

She tuned out, staring down at the booklet as she felt her lower stomach cramp, pain shooting through her centre and along her hips, yet more painful reminders about what had happened as she held back a wince, adjusting herself in her seat as she clenched the edge of the table, rooting her to the spot.

She just had to breathe through the pain... It flared up during regular intervals... It would pass soon... The pain would go... It would pass... It had to eventually... It would stop...

"I can't find him, but Mr. Yukimura is upstairs grading papers. Do you want me to try him?"

"We have to start. We can ask for his assistance during the first break. You may now open your test booklets and begin"

She wasn't in the right frame of mind to do a damn test... A test she wasn't even going to show up for but got made to. Hell, even writing her name was a difficult task, her fingers shaking almost unnoticeably, unable to even write without making a mess of the paper so ended up giving up.

She didn't care about a stupid test, it was the least of her worries.

Except things got more interesting when a girl in her class, Sydney, suddenly fainted and Ms Martin saw a strange rash on her forearm and ended up calling the CDC - a little too dramatic for Kayla's liking but she went with the flow, too caught up in her own head to really care as they got trapped in the school, the classroom doors getting shut so no one could leave as they waited for the emergency CDC crew to show up and put them all in quarantine.

Fantastic. What a _great_ damn start to the day. Really, absolutely _amazing_. She should have just stayed well away so she didn't get stuck in this mess but no, she followed her heart, seeking out a friend for help and in return got fucking quarantined.

So instead of being forced to hang around Stiles - it wasn't that big of a room and she was too tired to argue - she kept to the corner, perching herself carefully on one of the desks as she avoided Isaac's curious look, Paige's bitter glance as she swivelled her gaze between her and Isaac and Stiles' half hurt-half angry stare but she kept her head down, breathing slowly and evenly through the pain. All the moving about and then sitting in the hard wooden seats just aggravated everything, the pain sharp and insistent but she pushed it to the back of her head, trying so damn hard to forget about it. And it was working, she was able to compartmentalise... At least until the CDC came, trampling in like a herd of elephants as they set up their sick bays and tents, dressed in suits like bee keepers and ushered her along with the rest of the class so they could begin to Separate the ill from the healthy.

"I feel fine" she repeated for the millionth time as a couple of the CDC doctors stood in front of her, "I'm just tired"

She couldn't see their faces properly, but knew they appeared worried, "I would be inclined to check you out, just in case"

She sighed impatiently but let them lead her into one of the tents, asking her to remove her oversized hoody so they could take her blood pressure which she did reluctantly because she didn't have enough fight left in her to refuse, letting it slip off her arms to the floor as she slowly sat on the bed.

The two doctors sent each other a worried look, "did you have these bruises before today?"

She glanced down at her bare arms in her blue tee, seeing the bruises littering her arms and chest now a dark yellow and brown and nodded, "yeah... Yeah I already had them"

One stepped forward, an inquisitive frown on her face, "would you like to tell us what happened?"

"Not particularly" she mumbled, "can we just get on with this?"

They let the subject drop rather reluctantly, taking her blood pressure but was not pleased with the result, retaking it just to make sure.

"Do you feel lightheaded at all?"

Now they mentioned it, the room was at a rather strange angle but she was used to feeling like shit, it was nothing out of the ordinary.

She shrugged, "I don't know"

"Can we ask you a few health questions?"

"Shoot"

"Do you smoke?"

"Yes"

"Drink alcohol?"

"Yup"

"Take drugs?"

"Yeah"

"Sexually active?"

She chuckled under her breath at the irony, "uh huh, yeah"

"Any chance you could be pregnant?"

"Nope" she cleared that up as quick as it was dished out, "and don't even insinuate it"

"Okay, well..." One of the doctors spoke up, "your blood pressure is seventy nine over forty eight, that's really rather low but I can't see any evidence of skin rashes but just to make sure, I would suggest you stay here and lie down so we can monitor you over the next few hours and hopefully it will increase when you get some rest"

She wasn't happy about it, _obviously_ , she was the worst, most stubbornest patient ever but she was too drained to put up a fight, still sitting there as she watched them leave and zip up the tent behind them.

"Isaac" Paige snapped a little harsher than she meant, drawing her boyfriends attention back to her, "stop fussing, she'll be fine"

"Yeah, yeah I know" he nodded but he had to spare another glance to the tent that the doctors had just left, "I just..." He blew out a breath, sending her an apologetic look, "let me just check up on her? Just in case"

She clenched her jaw but forced herself to remain calm, "sure sweetie" she replied blandly, "whatever you need"

Need - not want. If he wanted to check up on her, he could be deterred, convinced not to but needed? Nothing could convince him otherwise, even if Paige spilled her heart and begged him not to because it would just make her jealous and angry, even if she was trying to move past what happened.

Isaac smiled, pressing a quick kiss to her lips, "I won't be long" before sneaking into the tent when no one was looking, zipping it up behind him.

"And that's someone you want to be in a relationship with?" She jumped at the voice, spinning around to peer over at Stiles, "because that was a dick move"

She sighed, acknowledging that but feeling like she had to defend Isaac, "yeah, maybe it was" she agreed, "but he's just making sure she's okay... Something you should've been doing"

His face fell, "I uh... I was going to, even though we fell out but he beat me to it" he finished with bitterly, " _again_ "

Paige smiled sympathetically, "he misses you, you know?" She asked, "I mean, don't get me wrong, you did his head in but he enjoyed your bickering matches. He just wants to be friends again... If I can forgive him, then you can too"

He let out a long sigh, stuffing his hands in his pockets, "I got that same advice last night"

Paige cocked a brow, "you mean from your mysterious lady friend?"

He blushed a little, dropping his gaze and never replied but his expression was confirmation enough for Paige.

"Please try?" she asked, "it would be a shame for a friendship to end over... Over a stupid mistake"

But he was stubborn, not ready to admit he was wrong, "we'll see"

* * *

She was still feeling like crap an hour later but shrugged back on her hoody, zipping it up and sneaking out of the sick bay tent because she was fed up of waiting around, getting a little antsy and irritable but her escape route got blocked by none other than Stiles, looking a little pale and sweaty but other than that well, looking surprised to see her already up and moving.

"Uh..." He mumbled, giving her a thorough once over, "how um... How you feeling?"

"Up until five seconds ago, great" she snapped, "now move"

He caught her arm before she could side step around him, pulling her into his side but she winced loudly as he aggravated the bruises on her forearm, yanking it away like she had been burnt.

"Are you okay?" He asked in concern, his brows furrowed as he glanced at her in worry.

"Don't pretend to care" she spat, trying to move around him again but he stepped in front of her, not letting her pass.

"Don't you dare try and say that I don't care about you. I care about you a hell of a lot, more than I should" he insisted, "all I've _ever_ done is care about you"

"Were you caring about me when you slept with her - _again?"_

He flinched, recoiling like she had slapped him but she just sent him an angry look, her lips pressed together in a tight line.

"Yeah, thought not"

"Kaylz-"

"Enough of the pet names" she exclaimed, "just stop it okay? Stop playing me! If you want her, then leave me the hell alone, I can keep doing this" she screamed, "I can't because I love you too damn much"

"... I love you too" he murmured quietly, "I've always loved you and I always will"

"Then why do we keep hurting each other?" She asked sadly, "why can't we be happy?"

He was at a loss for words, his eyes glistening with unshed tears, "... I don't know"

They were good. They were really good at one point - before the nogitsune made her choose between living without Stiles and dying for him, but now? Although they loved each other, it just felt wrong. Like they didn't fit anymore.

"You know-" Stiles forced a watery smile on his face, "-if we had both survived everything the nogitsune had put us through, I would've asked you to marry me"

She raised her eyebrows, a shocked expression twisting her features.

"Not to get married young or anything" he continued, "but just so you knew that uh... That..." He got choked up, biting the inside of his bottom lip to compose himself, "... That you were my life. Whether we got married the next day, the next year or the next decade, I wouldn't mind... Just as long as you knew just how much I... I need you"

"Stiles... Please stop" she whispered, "please..."

"I just need you to understand that... That I don't think badly of you. I don't think you're a terrible person. I think you're just lost" he said softly, "and you don't know where to fit in in this world because you were gone for so long. And I know what I said was harsh, I know that, but forcing a relationship to work when we're both not in the right frame of mind is doomed to fail... I'm just trying to save us both the heartache"

"... Are you... Do you want to... Are you going to try with her?" She asked sadly, not wanting to come across as weak or broken, trying to hold back her hurt.

Stiles shrugged, "I don't know. Yeah... Maybe" he added, "she's really nice. And when we speak it's so uncomplicated and easy. And I need easy right now"

She pursed her lips, holding back her tears, "that's uh... That's good then"

"But don't for one second think I'll ever give up on you. I'll still be fighting your corner because one day-" he promised, cupping her cheek, "-I will get to ask you to marry me. One day"

She sniffed loudly before stepping back away from him, his open palm falling to his side, "no. You won't" she shook her head, "because I'm not going to be your choice out of convenience. So good luck with her, I hope it works out, just don't come crawling back to me if it doesn't" she warned softly, "understand?"

He gulped, not giving her an answer, looking completely torn.

"And uh..." She added, fighting so damn hard not to cry, to hold back her tears as her throat closed up, "if we had survived... And you did ask me..." Her breath was stuttery and short as she gazed into his molten gold eyes, "... I would've said yes"

His eyes widened a little in surprise, looking so totally crushed as she stepped around him but not before leaning into him to press a soft kiss to his cheek, murmuring a quiet "goodbye Stiles" before dragging her feet down the corridor, escaping to the girls bathroom on the right and shutting herself into one of the cubicles, finally letting a heart wrenching sob escape her throat as she slid down the wall, crying out for everything she had lost.

It may well be all her fault, but it still hurt.

It hurt so damn much.

In fact everything was hurting, her entire being throbbing with agony.

Sitting there, imagining how easy it would be to end it all, right here and now. That way she wouldn't cause any more pain. She would fix every mistake she made. She could let her friends go back to having a semi normal life while she got punished for what she did.

It was tempting, so enticing to her in that moment because living seemed so impossible that she could almost taste the faint twinge of death on her tongue, calling out to her.

Araya was right - the dead really should stay dead because the consequences were far too big too handle.

 **A/n) a chapter to keep you going cos I have exams next week so I say I won't update till next weekend but lbr I probs won't revise and write instead whoops aha but hope you all enjoyed, a little bit of everything in this chapter and OMG wtf is going on, stiles no, Kayla no, omg Scott so sweet haha hope you all enjoyed she please review see you all soon X**


	43. Chapter 43 - Confessions

**Disclaimer: teen wolf does not belong to me in any way, sharp or form - wow, I keep sayin that but all you guys are amazing and I love how you all leave your thoughts, it's incredible, so a massive shoutout to Ashleymcd25, x XRoweenaJAugistineX x (jackpot haha), BeccaSco, peachy48 (I snorted haha love that, "I'll choke" ha), lily1994, linda96, hope, Jocie413 (she totes did put him in his place ha), EllieDragon (Scayla/Scola Brotp hellz yeah ha), guest, guest (it is a little messed up ha), guest (nogitsune may just make an appearance lol), guest (not at all, you're entitled to your opinion and maybe it was a little ooc but stiles is all over the place at the moment and not acting rationally haha, but thank you for your thoughts, I take on board everything you say :) X) and guest (aw thank you, and chapter 26 of this Fic, when the Encantado cousins compelled the humans to attack Kayla and she snapped a blonde girl's neck) and dark Angels Assasin's hope that helped and thanks for all your support, hope you enjoy this chapter X :)**

She somehow managed to pick herself up off the floor and make it out to the sinks, hanging on for dear life as she stared at herself in the mirror, repulse coiling in her veins.

She was so fucking _weak_.

Such a crybaby.

A total and complete mess.

Hair tuggy and sticking to her wet cheeks, eyes rimmed red, nose running, skin pale but bubbling with sweat from how hard she had been crying. She looked on the verge of losing it and, to be honest, she felt like that too. Lately everything had been spinning and spiralling - she was no longer in control, not like before, and no matter what she did, nothing seemed to work in her favour. She was losing everything that she began to care about and she didn't know how to get it back.

Maybe there was no way to... Maybe she had just screwed up _that_ badly.

She had lost respect, her dignity, her morals, she had lost some good friends, had stood back and watched her mother being killed, she had pushed Stiles away until he resented her so much he yearned for something else, something more, and apparently found that in some other girl that wasn't her... All the things she had begun to want, to try and work hard for, she felt slipping through her fingers.

Whoever said living was easy was lying out of their ass.

Living most certainly _wasn't_ easy. It was one of the hardest things she had _ever_ done. In a way, it was even worse than being with the nogitsune. At least with him she knew where she stood - she knew she was going to get tortured day in and day out, nothing changed, but here, on this earth, nothing was predictable. One moment she was going in one direction and the next she was getting pulled in the other. It was difficult. No. It was _impossible_.

Was that the guilt?

Was the guilt beginning to eat her whole?

She didn't know. All she knew was she didn't know how to cope with it.

She just... She didn't know what to do. Inside was like a volcano, slowly building and building, the pressure curling throughout her entire being and she needed a release. Something to ease the pain a little.

She glanced in the mirror again, seeing her broken and tear stained expression glancing back at her but couldn't stand looking at herself - she was a disgrace, disgusting, foul, tainted, all she was good for was being used and abused. She loathed herself. She hated seeing her reflection because she hated looking at the person staring back at her. Unrecognisable beyond belief.

Oh how one person could change so much.

Her tightly clenched fist shot forward to smash into the mirror, her knuckles immediately breaking the glass on impact so it shattered and fell to pieces around her, sparkling glass landing around her feet and in the sink, a sharp sting slicing apart her knuckles but she didn't even wince, savouring the pain.

Pain she was used to.

Pain she _understood_.

How sad that something so terrible was what helped ground her, but for years this was all she had known. She was accustomed to the agony.

So with a shaky hand she picked up a sharp shard of glass, holding it tightly as she pulled up her jumper sleeve to reveal her bruised skin, sickening hand marks still etched around her wrists and forearms. She could still feel them on her, their tight clutches and sharp nails. It made her stomach churn, bile rising to the back of her throat.

So she just sliced. And she kept slicing at the canvas that was her skin till it was painted red and carved into noticeably, the amplified pain making her see a little more clearly.

It was her fault.

 _Everything_.

All of it.

It was her _fault_.

Maybe it was best Stiles got away from her before she poisoned him too. Maybe he was right all along - leaving her was in his best interest. She understood now.

"Kayla? Are you in there?"

Kira's voice rang through the girls bathroom door and she jumped, alarmed at the sudden intrusion of noise and dropped the shard of glass she was holding so it clattered to the sink below just as Kira pushed the door open, glancing around inquisitively.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" She watched at Kira's brown eyes landed on the steady 'drip, drip, drip' of blood landing on the porcelain lip of the sink and sliding in, "are you hurt?"

She pulled her thick sleeves down in a rush, using the material to wipe at her face, "no, no I'm fine, what do you want?"

Kira didn't look convinced, her eyes still as wide as saucers, "b-but you're bleeding"

"I said I'm _fine_ " she snapped defensively, holding back her winces as the fluffy material of her jumper stuck to her blood soaked arm, "mind your own business, now what do you want?"

She still looked alarmed and, albeit, a little frightened, "um... There's uh... There's something going on, it's affecting every um... Every supernatural person. So we need to go"

"I'm good, thanks" she snarked, blowing out a long breath and turning back to the wall where the mirror once stood, "so just go"

But it seemed Kira had a bit of a backbone because she just shook her head, stepping closer to her, "I can't do that. If this virus or whatever is affecting you the same way it's effecting Scott, Malia and Isaac because of the werewolf gene, then you need to be somewhere safe so you can't hurt anyone... You don't want to hurt anyone, do you?"

"Depends on my mood"

Kira cocked a brow, "Kayla please..."

She rolled her eyes, fed up of hearing her irritating voice, "fine. Whatever" she turned to her, "lead the way if it'll shut you up"

So she did, keeping an eye on Kayla the whole time like she would snap her neck as soon as she wasn't looking and led her down to the boys locker room and into coach's office next to it where Scott, Stiles, Malia, Isaac, Paige, Mr yukirmira and now her and Kira were and she immediately hated how cramped they all were in such a small space, her skin breaking out to itch.

"I can't make them go back" Malia sounded panicked, glancing down at her claws, "why won't they go back?"

"My eyes still aren't changing either" Scott shook his head.

"The virus is obviously effecting all the werewolves differently to us humans" Mr yukimura explained, "it sounds like someone has taken the deadpool list into their own hands"

"Well we need to stop it" Paige spoke up in alarm as she held onto Isaac whose eyes kept flashing between blue and Amber, his whole body shaking, "how do we stop it?"

"I don't know" Mr yukimura shrugged, "but until we find a way to, we need to keep you guys safe"

"Yeah, quarantine you from the quarantine" that was the first time she had heard Stiles speak since their quarrel before, not daring to look at him as she kept her eyes directed to the floor, pulling her baggy jumper sleeves over her hands, shutting herself off.

"But where? What can hold us?"

And so they threw ideas back and forth while she tuned out, trying so damn hard not to break down again, not in front of all these people. But the more time passed, the more sad she became, like the weight of emotions was slowly but surely crushing her and she didn't know how to stop it.

A hand grazed her elbow and she immediately flinched, pulling away and throwing a glare to Isaac, " _don't touch me"_

"Sorry" he put his hands up in surrender but soon frowned inquisitively, giving her a thorough once over, "um... How you feeling Kay?"

She wrapped her arms around her torso, feeling hot sweat seize the back of her neck but ignored the sudden flush, "fine"

"Really?" He quirked a brow, "because your eyes are glowing and your teeth, well..."

She recoiled back, blinking hard to try and stop the sudden luminous green that seized her irises, having not even been aware they were glowing but that didn't work, then choosing to run her tongue along her set of teeth and was shocked to find them pointed and as sharp as razor blades, almost slicing her tongue.

It was hardly ever her teeth did that... Only when she was wanting to tear someone's neck out.

...Was she wanting to tear someone's neck out?

She glanced up, feeling everyone's nervous gazes on her and felt suddenly cornered, like an animal being hunted - out of everyone here, she was the bad guy, if they thought she was a liability, they may well lock her up away from everyone else because her track record immediately meant she was not to be trusted. She had a target on her back, yet again.

And what do cornered animals do when under attack?

The defend themselves.

She snarled, a very inhumane sound tearing from her throat as she took a step back, her eyes warning them all not to touch her, not to even step any closer, that if they penetrated her personal little bubble she would not hesitate to tear an arm off.

"Whoa... No, no, you're fine" Scott hurried to reassure, sensing and understanding where her urge to defend herself came from, "we're all in the same boat, see?" He raised his hands, showing her his claws that would not go back down, "you're okay"

Her snarl faded away into a quiet growl, unable to ease herself.

They would lock her up... Lock her up and leave her, for good. As soon as her back was turned, they would deal with her because she was a liability, not to be trusted. Why trust the dead girl, right?

Anger surged through her veins, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end and she felt so wired, so alert with fury coiling deep in her gut that she needed an outlet before she really did kill someone in this room - whatever this virus was, affecting everything inside her, twisting it to make the bad parts of her come out full force, the killer Encantado side taking over.

So she reached out, grabbing the edge of the table and flipped it over, objects going flying through the air which made everyone around it take a step back to protect themselves but she just needed an outlet and the table was closer than the wall to punch a hole in, breathing heavily to try and quell the anger.

"Are you crazy?" Paige exclaimed loudly, "what was _that_ for?"

Her quiet growl escalated into a full blown deafening snarl, warning her to shut the hell up.

"Yeah... Maybe it's best you don't piss her off" Isaac whispered, "none of us stand a chance if she loses it"

"Kaylz-"

She whipped her head to glare at Stiles, her eyes like burning fire as her bottom lip curled in fury because, right now, she didn't want to hear his voice say her name - he had hurt her, she couldn't face him right now.

His eyes widened in alarm, only then truly realising just how hurt and annoyed she was, choosing wisely to keep his mouth shut after that so Scott just stepped forward, trying for a gentle smile.

"It's fine Kay, we're not going to hurt you" and him she trusted, listening to his words, "we're all going into quarantine so none of us hurt anyone, you understand don't you?"

Her growl faded away slowly, her gaze now no longer darting between them all but mostly focusing on Scott, watching him carefully as he inched closer, ready to bolt or lash out if need be.

"No one's going to hurt you... We're all in this together, alright?"

The predatory noise from the back of her throat faded away, finally starting to relax a little, feeling her breathing rate slowing down as she forced herself to calm down, to listen to Scott's words but most of all trust them because he helped her before when she was most vulnerable and in pain and he helped her then, he would help her now. She trusted him. More than she trusted anyone else in this god forsaken place - even herself.

So she simply inclined her head into a small nod, her arms hugging her torso as she kept well back, avoiding everyone's curious and worried stares and Scott sent her a gentle smile, happy he was able to get through to her but Stiles just watched this little exchange again, starting to feel more on edge - he didn't like being out of the loop and he knew they were hiding something from him and he didn't know what.

His best friend and his girlfriend... Well... Ex... Kind of, it was confusing.

He frowned critically, his brain going into overdrive as he tried to figure out what the hell was going on... What could be so drastic they needed to keep it a secret from him? Him? The one that was there for them both through thick and thin? It made no sense.

Maybe that's why it made him mad - because, for once, he wasn't the one they both came to with their problems. And he didn't like that over sense of familiarity - it just bent him out of shape.

But his over analysing and constant bitterness came to a stop as he felt his head going all whoozy, his vision darkening as his knees gave way and if it wasn't for Malia grabbing his arm to hold him upright, he probably would've fainted right then and there.

"Whoa..." He murmured, stumbling as he forced himself to stand back up, wiping away the sweat on his forehead as he nodded in thanks at Malia.

"You're getting sick. Every one of you"

"I feel fine"

"I think it's affecting you differently, more neurologically. I found your test answers with the others" Mr yukimura handed Kira her test paper which was clearly mis-circled, "we need to get you all somewhere safe"

Finally they all settled in the Hale vault - once they found it, that was.

"Uh..." Isaac glanced at Kayla, "do you know where it is?"

"Clue's in the name" she rolled her eyes, "and I can show you, but I'm not the one that's going to get you in"

They all looked confused and she sighed heavily, "it needs claws. Or Hale blood. But seeming how we have Malia, I won't need to do the blood thing"

Malia raised her eyebrows in shock, her face paling, "my claws?"

"Hale claws" she confirmed tiredly, "and as much as you hate it, you're a Hale. So you game or not?"

She didn't look happy with it but agreed and Kayla just kept herself to herself, tugging her jumper sleeves down and playing with them as she lead them down to the basement and along the west corridor, pushing a shelve out the way to reveal some deep marks in the wall - the entrance.

She sidestepped, cocking a brow at Malia, "go ahead then sis, get those kitty-kat claws out"

She didn't look pleased, shooting her a glare but stepped up, taking in a few calming breaths before slotting her claws into the spaces in the wall and she waited for the grinding of stone, the magical movement of the wall but nothing happened.

"... That's strange" she whispered to herself, giving Malia a critical once over, "it's not working because you haven't accepted that you're a true Hale yet, have you?"

Malia dropped her clawed hand, suddenly looking very vulnerable, "it's a big change, okay?"

"Unbelievable" she scoffed under her breath, "the _one_ time we actually need you to do something useful, you fail at it because of your daddy issues"

Malia snarled at her, "shut up. I tried"

"Evidently not hard enough" she snapped back, "you're a Hale whether you like it or not, get used to it because that ain't gonna change"

The werecoyote's glare was like a thunderstorm - dark and brooding with untold energy, "well I wish it would. You think I want to be tied to you? To a murderous Peter? To such a screwed up family? Well I don't and I don't have to accept anything, got it?"

That hurt. _Ow_.

But she pushed those feelings away, rolling her eyes, "you're ridiculously unbelievable, you know that?"

"Girls" Scott tried to rationalise with both of them, "let's not argue, alright?"

"Let them" Paige interrupted, "Malia deserves to get it off her chest"

"Oh don't you start blondie" Kayla snapped at Paige, "this has nothing to do with you. In fact you're only here because you're fucking my leftovers who, not even an hour ago, had his tongue down my throat"

Isaac blanched, his eyes widening at her slip of the tongue, hurrying to correct her confession.

"No, no it _wasn't_ like that - tell them it wasn't like that!"

Fine... She may have been exaggerating a little - there was no tongues.

She just shrugged, turning away stonily and leaving Isaac to grovel at Paige's feet as she felt Stiles' annoyed gaze on her but ignored it - like he had any right to be pissed, he dumped her and was currently having sex with God knows who, fucking hypocrite.

"Paige c'mon, I promise it wasn't like that, if Kayla could just explain it to you-"

"Don't, just shut up" Paige hissed, "if we weren't all currently infected and probably going to die I would kick you so hard in the balls you wouldn't be able to use it for the rest of your miserable life"

"Baby-"

"I mean it"

Isaac shut up after that, realising it was probably safer for his manhood if he did and she regretted ever bringing that up, pity for her ex best friend rising in her chest. It wasn't like she made it out to be at all - it was more of a parting kiss. Isaac had visited her in that quarantine tent, saw her all hooked up to the blood pressure monitor and looking so fragile he had pitied her, sitting next to her on the bed as he talked about the friendship they once had, how he wanted that back, how she would always be very special to him but how he was happy with Paige, how he enjoyed being with someone who he knew had feelings for him but he never regretted feeling things for her, not once. Because she was the one that set the bar high for him and he got a great friendship out of their time together. She had agreed, saying it was nice he was happy for the first time and he had said it was great, he was very content and then he had leaned down to press a kiss to her cheek, telling her to get some rest but she had pulled back just after that, peering into his blue eyes as she told him to "enjoy this love with Paige - sometimes it turns bad, so cherish it" and had pressed a very faint kiss to his lips which he returned, pressing his mouth a little harder against hers, savouring the moment, the goodbye before pulling back and promising her that he would, squeezing her hand before leaving and going back to Paige - the one he had chosen.

And now she was messing that up just by being her - what a _bitch_.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the group so Kayla just reached out, grabbing Malia's claws and holding them up, "seeming how you failed before, try correcting your mistake - cut me"

"What?" Malia asked, "are you nuts?"

"It needs blood" she reiterated, "Hale blood. And seeming how I'm the only Hale here that actually accepts what she is, it has to be mine"

"I won't" Malia tried to jerk her hand away but Kayla held on tighter, "someone get her off me before I knock her out"

"There has to be another way" Kira spoke up, "I mean... Maybe we could trick it-"

While Malia was distracted, she tugged on her wrist, using both hands to jolt her forward so her sharp claws sunk into the soft flesh of her upper stomach right below her diaphragm and when Malia tried to pull away, shocked at the squelch of blood, she just used the grip on her arm to force her claws deeper, making sure there was enough blood for this to work.

"Don't pretend you haven't wanted to do this since we first met" she whispered, wincing a little at the pain but Malia's wide eyes told a whole other story, looking completely shocked and kind of guilty, "savour this moment cos' trust me, it ain't happening again" and with that she let her go, leaving Malia to tug her claws free so some blood splattered to the concrete floor below but she just fell sideways, hunching against the wall as she pressed a palm to her stomach, blood soaking her hand.

"Holy god, Kaylz-"

She ignored Stiles, turning away from him as he hurried to step forward and slapped her bloody hand to the markings on the wall, blinking quickly to try and stay with it as her vision blurred, blood sliding from her hand into the markings on the wall but it wasn't enough - it needed more than was probably reasonable so she let her hand get more bloody, pressing harshly against the wounds to squeeze more blood out and pressed it to the mark again until she finally heard the grinding of stone and stumbled back, giving way to the sliding wall, revealing the secret vault and smiled a little to herself - she was the bad guy, but she was trying so hard to be good... If getting a little bloody meant doing the right thing, then she was happy to do it.

She turned around to face the group, her knees shaking as she saw twelve people floating in front of her instead of six, beads of sweat trailing down her forehead, "th-thank me if we a-all make it out a-alive... Yeah?" But with that she promptly fainted, legs giving way underneath her but Stiles was there to catch her, darting there quicker than anyone could get their heads around, even Scott, stopping her from hitting the floor and had scooped her into his arms securely.

"You're okay... I got you" he whispered, adjusting her head so it didn't fall back but she never responded to his words, totally out of it.

"Is she okay?" Scott asked, "should we stop the bleeding?"

"I got it" he said in a hard voice, not liking this bitterness taking over him but didn't try and stop it, shooting Scott a warning stare to not push himself between them in this moment in time. His best friend looked a little surprised at his anger, his eyebrows raising high into his forehead.

He immediately felt bad, "I'm... Im sorry" he apologised, "I just.. I've got it handled okay?"

Scott nodded, taking a step down as Stiles tried for a small smile, leading the way into the vault so he could slide down the far wall, holding Kayla against his lap as he shrugged off his jacket, letting it pool beside him before squirming from his hoody, balling up the green material as he carefully lifted up her thick jumper, immediately pressing his hoody to the bleeding wounds on her stomach to try and quench the flow of blood.

"You're a self sacrificing idiot, you know that?" He whispered, his arm under her back to hold her up a little against his chest, "and that was very dramatic, you could have just cut your hand or something" he added, "but I love your flare"

She never answered, still pale and shaky, sweat bubbling from her porcelain skin.

"I'm sorry things between us ended so bad" he whispered, "that was never my intention, I promise"

He pressed a little harder against her stomach and she winced, frowning in her passed out state but he held her tighter, muffling a quiet apology against her damp hair.

"Sorry baby, I'm just trying to stop uh... Stop the... Blood..." He frowned, his gaze now latching onto her bare stomach that he could now see was bruised thoroughly, various shadings covering her normally smooth skin.

His stomach lurched, a horrible sinking feeling settling inside him as he peeled her jumper a little higher, seeing more bruisings covering her sides and just under her bra, his breathing pace starting to pick up in panic.

"Stiles... Stiles I wouldn't"

He ignored Scotts cautious warnings, tugging at the high collar of her jumper to see her neck, finding more marks identical to hand marks and felt suddenly sick, his stomach tying itself in knots.

"Stiles, please..."

He ignored Scott again, holding her slack body against his as he tugged on her sleeves, seeing bruises fading from a dark blue to a bright yellow all along her arms, horrible hand prints etched into her skin but on one forearm was fresh cuts zigzagging all up her arm, still oozing copper blood.

He was adding two and two together and hoping to get five, wishing he was just jumping to conclusions but the marks all over her flawless body, the desperate hateful slashings to her arms that she knew she did to herself, probably after their talk, was screaming at him.

He glanced up, finding Scott's worried gaze on him, "was she..." He couldn't even say it, bile rising to the back of his throat, "Scott... Was she r-raped?"

Guilt seized his entire being, feeling everyone in the room immediately quieten down, even Paige and Isaac who was bickering to one side shut up and peered over at him, alarm on their features.

Although his best friend never confirmed or denied his suspicions, he knew just by the look on his face.

She was raped.

She was raped and where was he? Not there.

She was raped and she never felt comfortable coming to him for help, choosing to go to his best friend instead because Scott was soft and warm and offered a non judgemental shoulder to cry on... Not like him, not like him who had been so mean and hateful recently. She was bruised and injured, her limping now making sense, her entire demeanour change making sense to him in the worst way possible.

She was raped - someone, or multiple someones, he didn't know, forced themselves on her and he didn't even know. How could they have fallen so badly apart?

"... Yeah..." A quiet voice spoke up and he glanced down, seeing Kayla barely awake but already crying silent tears, "I... I c-couldn't stop them... I-I'm sorry..."

"You have nothing to be sorry for" he whispered, letting her bury her face into his shirt as he stroked her hair, trying to keep her calm despite feeling like he was dying on the inside, "nothing Kaylz, absolutely nothing, I promise"

 **A/N) ahhhhhh OHHHHH SHITTTTT lol this chapter had a bit of everything ha what do you think? Lol, I'm killing you all aren't I haha, but poor Kayla, she's so broken now, and whoops Isaac and Paige bickering and now stiles knows what happened and ahhhhh drama ha hope you all liked and please please review see you all soon X**


	44. Chapter 44 - Damaged soul

**Disclaimer: teen wolf does not belong to me in any way shape or form – a massive shoutout to Ashleymcd25, mrs Tall Blonde and Dead (sorry haha, but it does improve… eventually), linda96, BeccaSco, Jocie413, hope (everything is great, thank you sm :) ), and Amandalucia (so sorry but more feels in this one lol, don't kill me ha) you all rock hope you like x**

 **Also: semi short chapter, going on holiday very soon but going to my friends to stay for a couple nights before so won't be able to update so thought I better put something up, but should have an update up next weekend, sorry peeps 😊**

 **Also part two: got a poll up about the story bedroom adventures if anyone wants to vote lol**

 **also part tres: posted some other stories/one shots linked to these stories in the past few weeks, some of you have read, just in case some people have missed it, some is like teasers for the next book :)**

It all made sickening sense.

 **Everything**.

He didn't want it to, god how badly he wanted this _not_ to be happening right now, but the crushing reality hit him like a ton of bricks, winding him painfully as he stroked his shaky fingers through her hair, feeling her sobs seize her body as she clung to him.

While she was going through hell, he had been getting it on with someone else. If he never left her, if he just powered through, forgot about that stupid video and accepted that it wasn't her fault, that she had no control over who posted what, this might not have happened. But he never – he broke things off to concentrate on himself and look what happened.

"Kaylz…" he whispered, his voice cracking as he gently urged her to look up at him, curled against his lap like an injured animal, "this wasn't your fault. It wasn't" he held back his tears despite them prickling his eyes, "none of it" he vowed wholeheartedly.

She sniffed, blinking quickly to try and stop the flow of tears, "it-it hurt" she whimpered, totally cutting his heart in half, "it s-still does but I… I said n-no… I said no… but they didn't s-stop… w-why didn't they stop?"

He didn't have an answer to that, unable to find any words to comfort her or even give her a sense of closure. For once – he was useless to help her.

She wiped at her face with her jumper sleeve, pushing her aching body up and away from the warmth and security of his arms, feeling herself falling headfirst into unwanted memories and emotions, her gut lurching. She didn't want to be touched, or looked at or even spoke about. Not here, not now, not with everyone watching them.

"Kaylz… you shouldn't move…" he was quiet and gentle, reaching out for her but she just flinched away, pushing herself along the wall.

"D-Don't touch me" she whispered, lifting her shoulder up and turned it away from him, her intentions perfectly clear, " _s-stop_ touching me"

Maybe she was substituting pushing Stiles away for what she wished she had the power to do that night but never. She was tainted now, her skin still bruised with their marks and she couldn't face it, couldn't face him looking at her with those sad eyes of his. She didn't want pity or sympathy, she just wanted to forget. Why couldn't she forget?

He blinked, a tear breaking loose and sliding down his cheek but he wiped it away, watching her pushing herself away from him but all he wanted to do was help her, soothe her, take away the pain…

"Kayla…" he whispered gently, shoulders slumping as he watched her tug her baggy jumper over her raised legs, curling away from reality, "I'm sorry… I should have never left you… I'm so sorry…" he apologised, yearning to take her back in his arms but respected her space.

She looked exhausted, her body shuddering as she tried so damn hard to keep her emotions at bay but did glance over at him, her bottom lip wobbling, "you were right to… I-I'm a mess… all I'm good for is getting used… again… and again… and again… no one wants to be with someone like that. Everything you said – it was true"

"It wasn't" he insisted, "I didn't mean a word of it"

"Don't… don't lie" she whispered, "don't lie because you feel bad for me. Don't lie because of your guilt… it's not your job to stick by me and-and look after me"

"Yes it is" he contradicted, "because that's what it means to be in love"

"You're wrong" she whispered, "it means letting go when things can't get any better. When two people have just come to the end of the road… that's why I don't want you back. Our story? It's done"

He shook his head quickly, "no, no it isn't, Kayla-"

"You think I want you touching me when you know what they did to me?" she asked tearfully, "you think I can keep on looking you in the eye, when I know you now see me as some kind of broken porcelain doll?"

"… let me help you" he begged, "I can… I can _help_ you" he insisted, "I can make them pay for what they did"

"And that right there is why it wouldn't work" she shrugged, "I don't want revenge. It's the last thing on my mind. I just needed someone to… understand" she gazed at him sadly, "we won't work Stiles. Because every time you look at me, you'll be thinking about what happened, what they did, how they did it, you'll be angry and resentful and then every time I look into your eyes, I'll be reminded of one of the worst moments of my life. Something I don't _want_ to remember. I don't want to remember how they… how they r-raped me, m-made me do things I didn't want to do… it's too much"

"Then I won't" he shook his head desperately, "I'll do whatever you need, please Kaylz…"

"Then leave me alone" she murmured quietly, "don't… don't touch me…"

This was absolutely killing him, watching in total heart-breaking agony as she shied away from him, turning her head to rest on her knees and all his hope, all his dreams of them finally coming back together were butchered.

He wiped at his eyes, pushing himself to his feet as he backtracked to face Scott, watching as his best friend looked at him with sad, pitying doe eyes.

"I couldn't tell you" Scott opened with, "I'm sorry, but she asked me not to, I couldn't break her trust in me too…"

"I know" he whispered, understanding Scott's position even though it absolutely killed him to see how badly Kayla had lost faith in him, turning to his best friend instead for something he should've been there for, "just uh… tell me she went to the hospital and got checked out?"

Scott shook his head and Stiles' heart dropped, "I tried… Lydia tried-" another person she trusted more than Stiles, another person she found support in that wasn't him, "-but she was adamant, didn't think anyone would believe her. I cleaned her up as best I could and Lydia did the rest"

"It was bad… wasn't it?"

Scott frowned in worry, giving a small nod, "Yeah. It was. I saw what they did and it made me want to kill them myself" a good indicator of the severity if Scott was tempted to use violence.

He bowed his head in torment and shame, feeling everyone's gaze on him as he tried to keep it together, to not break or get angry and lose it, to hold himself together as best he could in such a troubling situation for Kayla's sake but yearned to put his fist through a wall, an internal war waging deep in his gut.

"If I knew… I wouldn't… I wouldn't have…" he hoped Scott knew, hoped he understood his incoherent ramblings but his friend just cupped his shoulder in support, nodding his head.

"I know Stiles, I know…"

Because if he did know everything that had gone on, he wouldn't have initiated things with Sophie. He wouldn't have kissed her, touched her, slept with her… he wouldn't have strayed from his morals like a man possessed.

So he just scrubbed at his teary eyes, standing up a little straighter, "you're all getting worse… each one of you. I need to try and fix this" he was determined, wanting to at least fix this one thing, "I need to try and find a cure"

Scott was sweaty and pale looking but nodded, "you'll have to go back above ground. Are you able to leave?"

His eyes fluttered over to Kayla, watching her sitting slumped there in pain and Stiles followed his line of sight, his heart breaking all over again, splitting in half.

He didn't want to – if he had it his way, he would stay and try and support her in any way he could and she would let him but things weren't that simple. It wasn't that black and white. Not anymore.

"I have to" he whispered helplessly, dropping his stare from Kayla to focus back on Scott, "it's my turn to save her. To save you all"

He had to. He couldn't fail again, not this time.

And without another word he slowly inched back towards Kayla, dragging his feet and slowly lowering himself to his knees a good five feet in front of her but she flinched, quickly glancing up with wide eyes and he didn't need to be a werewolf to hear how fast her heart was beating at the intrusion.

"I'm… I'm sorry" he apologised, holding his hands out to show her he meant her no harm and was not going to come any closer, respecting her wishes, "I didn't mean to scare you I just… I… I need to go" her eyes widened a little, studying his expression, "you're all getting sick… really sick" noticing the sweat building up on her skin, how she looked ready to drop any second, "and I need to stop it. I need to save you…"

Her arms tightened around her legs, her lips slightly parted as she debated on what to say next, how to even communicate with him after everything they had been through – what she could do or say to someone she wasn't even on the same wavelength with?

But he continued before she could overthink, a small gentle smile on his face, "I see it now…" he whispered, "I see that you aren't ready for this world. You pretend, but you can't hide it – not from me" he shook his head a little, tears glazing his eyes, "you were gone for so long and suddenly just… put back. Thrown back to reality with no say in it. And with your emotions coming back, it's getting harder and harder to stay in control. So that night… you acted out. You drank too much, took god knows what to try and ease the pain but what those men did… you didn't deserve. You weren't asking for it. You didn't let them get away with it. It's _their_ fault. They did it because they're bad people. What they did doesn't reflect on you, not one bit Kaylz. No one's going to look at you any differently… _I_ won't" he emphasized, hoping she understood that, "you're still Kayla to me… the girl that always tries her best. The same one who… who still has my heart right in the palm of your hand"

Sometimes he was so good with words it was a shock to the system, her eyes filling up with tears as she watched how sincere he looked, how truthful and just how much he meant those words. How, even now, going through hell and back with each other and up and down every good and bad time.

Maybe they were destined to keep trying, to keep coming together until they finally got it right.

Would now be this time?

"You don't need to say anything" he whispered, seeing her indecisiveness and surprise, "I just needed you to hear it. I know we've messed up… _I've_ messed up… but I do believe in us"

She wanted to as well, but it was too much. She couldn't think clearly, especially about this.

"And as soon as I get back… if you'll let me… I want to help you" he murmured truthfully, "no more running away. If you want me, I'll be there. Forever okay?"

He extended his arm, holding out his hand, palm facing upwards and she glanced down at it, some part of her yearning to feel his warmth whilst the other wanted to flinch away, scared at the contact, terrified of the intimacy of such a simple movement. It felt like, what had happened, had ruined her chance of ever enjoying that closeness with someone.

But she just swallowed thickly, slowly pushing out her shaky bruised arm to rest her dainty, injured hand against his and felt him squeeze it gently as he tried for a small smile but she felt sickness well inside her, almost immediately flashing back to the terror and disgust she felt of their hands on her, hurting her, ignoring her pained and choked whimpers and pulled it back, fear seizing her chest.

His face fell, truly realising how damaged she was and wanted to kill whoever did this to her slowly and painfully, yearning to feel their life drain away but pushed that back, sending her a small nod.

He went to stand, to leave despite wanting to stay and heard a very faint "be careful" and found Kayla's eyes again, her green gaze bordering on desperate.

"I will" he vowed.

She watched him leave, followed his lean body as he moved further and further away from him, a part of her wanting him to stay but was drowned out by the self hatred and blame, knowing it was right he stay away from her but couldn't stop the chasm of sadness ripping apart her chest.

He glanced once more over his shoulder just as the stone door slid shut, his gaze unwavering from hers as he mouthed a silent " _I love you"_

She didn't know why, but having him disappear from her vision was like a knife to the heart, panic seizing her body as she clutched at her legs tighter, rooting herself to the spot as she wished they weren't so bitter and broken because what they had meant the world to her at one point – she wanted that back. She wanted him.

Even though the stone wall had closed over, the grinding coming to a stop she still felt his stare on her, like he was trying to catch just one more glimpse of her through the wall and didn't drop her line of sight, still searching for those familiar soft brown eyes.

But what she didn't know was that was the last time she would see them in a while.

 **a/n) OOOHHHH SNAP haha okay kinda short but im going away like I said and thought a shorter chapter was better than nothing and waiting a whole other week? Anyways MY BABIES im evil I know I should stop I promise though stayla do go back to being STAYLA OTP FOR LIFE hhahaha it was purely stayla here, kinda heartwreching agreed? Lol hope you all like and please please review and I will be back late next week for another chapter with, drum roll please… KAYLA BROTHER APPEARANCE dun dun dun hahaha see you soon x**


	45. Chapter 45 - Special bond

**Disclaimer: teen wolf is not mine – massive shoutout to the new favs/followers and ofc the lovely reviewers including – Ashleymcd25, EnchantingNightmares, guest, linda96, hope, BeccaSco, Guest ( was gonna do that actually but I kept thinking about it and it just wouldn't work, this storyline needed bad Kayla and the only way her character would turn would be through abuse/trauma but its so weird how we both thought of that buffy storyline lol, love it) and zikashigaku for reviewing, love you all, hope you enjoy** **also got a poll up about bedroom adventures ha x**

Sickness was twisting her gut, making her stomach clench and scream in agony, sweat soaking her clothes as she hugged her legs tight to her chest, slowly rocking herself back and forth to ease the discomfort. Whatever this virus was, she felt it slowly spreading throughout her entire being, draining her, eating away on her power as she weakened and although it was horrible and agonisingly, it was nothing less than what she deserved.

If anything, she was getting off lightly.

She deserved more pain. More agony. More torment. Especially after everything she had done.

She felt everyone's eyes on her, watching her sympathetically but she just continued to curl away from them, feeling uncomfortable with their stares.

She didn't mean to blurt out what had happened. It was an accident - a mistake.

She was just there with Stiles, feeling safe in his arms and it just came out but as soon as it did, she regretted it. She didn't want their pity. She didn't want their understanding. She just wanted to be left alone.

Isaac frowned, his stomach dropping as he watched her shut herself off and instantly felt bad, sadness and anger in equal measure coursing through his veins. Despite their arguments, despite what they had been through, his heart ached for her - he got mad and judged her for acting out, for being a terrible person, but after everything she had been through, it was almost a given. He couldn't fathom the pain she was in and just wanted to take her in his arms like the best friends they once were and let her know that it would all be okay.

His brows furrowed, the ache becoming more prominent and he didn't even realise he had taken a careful, slow step forward towards her until Paige tugged on his elbow, a hurt and betrayed look crossing her features.

"Isaac..." She whispered, "what are you doing?"

"I..." He didn't know but he couldn't not do anything and just stand back and watch her pain, he just couldn't, "Paige... You _know_ what happened to her. We can't just sit back and do nothing"

"Yes we can" she nodded, "does it look like she wants to be bothered right now?" She tilted her head in Kayla's direction, "just leave her be"

"I can't do that" he disagreed, "and the only reason you're asking me to leave her alone is because of your twisted jealousy" she recoiled in hurt, her eyes narrowing in anger, "which is totally unjustified"

"Unjustified? _Unjustified?"_ She hissed under her breath, at least having the decency to keep her voice lowered, "we both know that's a straight up lie, especially when you were _kissing_ her a couple of hours ago"

"It wasn't like that" he repeated for the millionth time, "and you're not listening to me when I try and explain it to you because you don't want to understand - it's easy for you to blame me, or blame Kayla, or to push the blame on anyone but yourself so you don't feel bad"

" _You're_ the one that **kissed** her"

He rolled his eyes, "I'm not going through this again with you Paige. Either accept that she's my friend and that I want to help her, especially after what she's been through, or don't. But don't make me choose"

Paige scoffed, "and if I did, who would you choose?"

Isaac remained silent and Paige's heart dropped.

"... You would chose her?" She murmured in daunting realisation, "you would choose a user and a murderer, a manipulative little _bitch_ over your own girlfriend?"

"Keep your voice down" he snapped, "and if whoever I'm dating forces me to choose, then yeah, they're not worth having if they put that kind of pressure on me. I really thought you were different than that"

She was insecure and scared, her whole world tumbling down around her.

"I won't make you choose" she murmured, "because you've already chosen"

He frowned, watching her expression as it crumbled.

"She's my friend..." He continued, "that's all... I really wish you could understand that"

"Can you blame me for not after everything that's happened?"

And that he did understand, he just wished that she stopped looking in the past and focused on the present - that it was her he said he loved, her he slept next to at night, her he wanted...

"Can we talk about this when we get out of here?" His voice considerably weaker than normal, his muscles shaking with weakness as he wiped some fresh sweat from his brow, "please Paige?"

She rolled her eyes but nodded, "fine, whatever. Go to her, see if I care"

Her bitterness was like a slap to the face but he pushed past it, reaching out for her hand, "please just understand... She was raped" he said quietly, "she needs to know that her friends... That her friends care. She shouldn't be alone right now"

"I said fine" she pushed away his hand, "fine. We'll talk later"

She was stubborn though and turned her head away from him, signalling her intention to stop talking so he respected her wishes and nodded his head, whispering a quiet "I love you" before slowly dragging his feet over to Kayla, sliding down the wall next to her but left a couple of feet distance, not wanting to impose.

"Hey" he opened with gently, wincing a little as pain tore through his body but pushed it away, "um... How are you feeling?"

Her head was resting on her arms as she shyly peaked over to him, her expression void of any emotion, numb to it all, "like I want to be left alone"

"Yeah... I get that" he whispered in understanding, "I just... I needed to make sure you were okay... After earlier…"

He saw her flinch, hands coming together so her fingers could nervously knot through the thick woolly jumper sleeves, her eyes glinting with shame, "I don't want to talk about it"

"I know" he sympathised gently, watching her curl away from everyone and everything, no longer the confident Kayla they all once knew, "but I'm here if you need me"

She was shaking, pressing her lips together to try and stop the emotions from flooding out, "stop it Isaac... We're not best friends anymore. You don't have to be nice to me"

"Hale..." His voice broke, hating himself for the way things turned out between them, "we are friends. We just had a rocky moment"

"Rocky moment meaning when we screwed, right?"

"Wasn't our finest moment" he agreed, "and I know I've been bitter lately, but you can understand my anger, can't you?"

"… More than you know" she whispered to herself, lifting her head in exhaustion and sighing, "please just… go back to your girlfriend, your friends, and just… just leave me alone. If we're dying, then I would rather die in peace"

"We won't die" he promised, wanting to reach out and cup her knee or hold her hand, something to reassure her but held back, respecting her personal space, "Stiles will find something, he always does. He won't let us down"

"Won't he?" she wondered quietly, voice breaking as Isaac frowned over at her in sadness, "regardless – I still want to be left alone. Please go"

His heart tore at her vulnerability and unease, hating the distance and awkwardness between them, regretting ever letting their close friendship slide but knowing now was not the time to try and rebuilt it – he saw in her eyes how close she was to losing it, how badly she was just holding on and didn't want to add more pressure to her, not if she was going to break.

"Okay" he murmured softly, "just let me say one thing – it wasn't your fault. Whoever did this… they did it because they're bad people, not because of anything you did, I promise you that"

Her fingers tightened around her legs, digging into the material of her jeans as she tried to ground herself, to not get pulled back to that night and avoided his stare but he saw her bottom lip shake, desperately holding back tears, "… everything's my fault" she whispered so quietly he had to strain his ears to hear her, barely catching what she said.

Despite not wanting to leave, he did, respecting her wishes as he slowly pushed his aching and painful body up off the hard concrete and stumbled back over to his friends, casting her a saddened look over his shoulder as he dragged his feet, having to grab a hold of shelf next to Scott as a wave of dizziness hit him, nearly causing him to fall flat on his face.

"Whoa" Scott steadied him, his own face covered with a thin sheen of sweat, "you okay bud?"

"Yeah… yeah, I think so" the room swaying at an awkward angle in front of him, "maybe I should-" his legs shook, beginning to give way, "-yeah, I'll just sit back down" letting himself go so he could slide to the floor, wiping away the sweat on his forehead.

"How was she?" Scott asked, letting Kira help him sit down as Malia and Paige talked a little bit away, the latter helping the werecoyote stay warm by giving her her denim jacket.

"Not good" he replied, "and I know Kayla well enough to know she's going to go one of two ways"

Kira paled, "and what ways are that?"

"Either numb and empty, like she's ready to give up"

"… or?" Kira mumbled, but this time Scott beat him to the punch, knowing exactly the other way Kayla would go – there was no in-between, just one extreme or the other.

"Or hellbent on revenge" Scott said nervously, "with nothing but wrathful intent, and with her and Stiles not on good terms he might not be able to pull her back…"

"And that is not a Kayla any of us want" Isaac clarified fearfully, "for _all_ of our sakes"

* * *

All her senses were long since dimmed – her vision beginning to blacken, ears sounding full of cotton wool, her pain dulling and consciousness beginning to waver but she found herself not really caring all that much.

She wasn't freaking out like the others because she didn't have passion for life anymore. She didn't want to live bad enough to fight for it. That spark had long since burned out and she doubted it would ever get relit ever again.

She wasn't meant to be here anyway - it was wrong and unnatural... If she did die, then maybe that was how things were supposed to be? It was like resetting a clock to the right time.

And the more time passed, the more she felt... _off_ … like she continually had one foot in the grave, and the other in the land of the living. Pulled in two different directions – the living rejected her and the dead wanted her back. Dread continued to wash through her, the waves crashing into her and winding her until she was sure, one day, it would crush her into oblivion.

"I… I can't see" she just managed to make out Kira's muffled and panicked voice, "S-Scott, I can't _see"_

She was sure she heard hacking coughing, black gunk spilling from their throats.

"I-I can't either" Isaac was panicked, "I can't… I'm…" he winced loudly, spluttering in pain as Paige dropped her bitter façade and rushed to his side, stroking his hair, "I can't see _anything_ "

She tried to tune out their panic and frantic mumblings, pulling her raised knees closer to her chest and screwing her eyes shut, throwing her world into complete darkness.

"I-I'm not dying d-down here" Malia was determined, yet panicked, her throat feeling on fire as she coughed, "wh-where is Stiles?"

Pain coiled through her entire being, rooting her to the spot as she waited there impatiently for death to come, to just get it over with, to take her back… maybe then she would feel like she belonged, for once.

"Scott? Scott? Kaylz? Can you hear me? You have to listen okay, all of you?" Stiles' desperate and fear stricken voice shouted through the stone wall as he banged his open palms, "the antidote is in there with you, it's in the vault – check the shelves, check the shelves, reishi mushrooms guys, the cure is the _reishi mushrooms"_

She didn't have the energy to go find them even if she wanted to, sagging sideways as she waited for the sweet embrace of death.

"Paige? _Paige?"_ Stiles hollered, "get them the reishi mushrooms"

"Oh god…" the blonde was panicking, tears blurring her eyes as she let Isaac's head slip from her legs as she stood, "S-Stiles… they're-they're all d-dying-"

His stomach sunk, grabbing a hold of the stone wall as he felt the colour draining from his face, beads of sweat cascading down his skin – he couldn't lose his friends, he couldn't lose his girl, not now, not when he had to save them.

"Paige, look on the shelves" he instructed, trying to remain calm for both their sakes, "it should be in a glass jar"

She hurried to the first shelve, hands shaking as she started knocking things over in her haste to find what she was looking for, panic making her vision tunnel and chest tighten – she wasn't cut out for this, she wasn't a hero. She couldn't hold her nerve and she didn't do well under pressure, not when she had five people's lives resting in her hands.

"Have you found it?" Stiles persisted, "it's in there"

"I can't-can't find it" she sobbed, taking a glance over her shoulder to see Isaac hunched over and in pain, Malia nearly crying, Kayla having already given up and laying still, Kira trying to crawl to stand and Scott blindly stumbling about, "it's not here"

" _It is"_ he urged, propelling his fists into the walls, "dammit, keep looking, find it Paige"

She sniffed, heading to the next shelf as she searched and searched, Stiles shouts urging her on as she, in her blind panic, knocked over several jars and she jumped back away from the broken glass, about to let out a loud wail but noticed some kind of dark dust beginning to rise into the air and stopped short, watching it begin to cloud the air.

"Paige? _Paige_? Dammit, what's going on? Have you found it?" Stiles shouted, punching out at the wall and praying it would open, fear eating away at him, "Paige? Are they okay? Are they alive?"

She helped Isaac stand as he inhaled the reishi mushroom essence, holding his arm over her shoulder to stabilise him, relief coursing through her veins, "y-yeah… I think it-I think it _is_ working"

He let out a long thankful breath, sliding down the wall in exhaustion, "thank god" he muttered to himself, wiping the sweat from his brow, "someone let me in"

Once Scott had mustered up enough energy he crawled over to the stone door, letting it open to see Stiles kneeling opposite him, his caramel brown eyes lighting up with thankfulness at the sight of him alive – still hurting and weak – but alive none the less.

"Don't ever do that again" Stiles mumbled breathlessly, pulling Scott into a crushing hug before helping him stand, placing a hand against his chest to steady him, "that was a close call"

"But you pulled through" Malia nodded at him, her praise a slight shock to him, "thank you"

"It was actually Scott's mom-" he cut himself off mid-sentence, his eyes widening in panic as he stepped forward, "wait, where's Kaylz?"

Everyone suddenly stiffened, all glancing back to the spot that Kayla once occupied that was now empty before looking up to the main entrance up the flight of stairs to the secret entrance under the school sign that was now open and had yet to be closed.

"I never saw her leave…" Paige mumbled, a frown creasing her brows.

"Never saw her…?" he was shocked, "so she could have left before you found the antidote?"

Paige shrugged helplessly, "I don't know. I was in too much of a panic searching for those magic mushrooms but I highly doubt it. She was dying Stiles, just like everyone else in here. There was no way she could've climbed a flight of stairs while that ill"

"… Unless she wasn't by herself" Scott mumbled, inhaling deeply, "there's another scent here. One I don't recognise"

"Yeah… yeah I'm picking that up too" Isaac confirmed, stepping up next to Scott, "another werewolf"

"There was another werewolf in here with us?" Paige blanched, a shiver running up her spine as she realised just how short sighted she had been in not even realising what, outside her own panic, was going on, "friend or foe?"

No one answered, not wanting to think it could be the latter as Stiles shot forward into a run, bolting up the steps that he took two at a time to emerge into the fresh air, blinking against the harshness of the sun.

"Kayla? _Kayla_?" he shouted, fully prepared to scream and shout until his voice went hoarse, but before he could Isaac pulled him back down out of sight, helping Malia close the entrance.

"What the hell?" he snapped, "what are you doing? I need to go find her-"

"And how exactly are you going to explain a secret vault with a magically moving concrete school sign that weighs a literal ton, maybe more?" Isaac retorted.

"Do you think I care?" he said in a hard voice, "you're the one that sniffed out some mysterious werewolf and now Kayla's gone, I have a right to panic"

"But only Hales can get in" Scott tried to reason, "so a Hale it must be. One we haven't met, granted, but that doesn't sound like an enemy or someone that would hurt her"

"Really? _Really?"_ he exclaimed, "have you met that family? They're screwed up beyond belief – remember the killing streak Peter went on? How he almost killed Kayla several times? How Peter killed his own frigging niece and how Derek then killed him right back? Has that slipped your mind?"

"I don't smell hostility" Scott said calmly, "I smell worry… urgency… _love_ " he implored, "I think whoever was here was just wanting to help her. Chemo signals don't lie Stiles" he reassured, "Kayla will be fine"

Stiles' shoulders slumped, a whoosh of breath escaping his parted lips, "but… but we were going to talk. I was… I was really needing to talk to her"

"Well she _clearly_ doesn't want to talk to you" Malia said bluntly, "not that I'm taking her side or anything, but I understand her better than I thought I did. If I opened up like she did, and when things got hard the person I loved started messing around with another girl, you're damn right I would be pissed. And if I loved someone like she loves you, and they found out about something as terrible as sexual assault, then I couldn't look them in the eye either. So suck it up" Malia advised, "and get over yourself. This isn't about you, no matter how hard you try and make it be"

"Uh…" he was at a loss for words, feeling like he just got hit by a bus after Malia's harsh words.

"Ouch" Paige mumbled, "that hurt just listening to it"

"Malia… ease off the throttle a little" Kira advised, "Stiles is just worried"

"When it suits him" she grumbled, "and I never thought I would say this but I actually feel sorry for Kayla. So give her space and go back to your new girlfriend. _What?"_ she questioned as she got back several astonished looks, "someone had to say it and I know you were all thinking it"

"Well…" Isaac said carefully, "maybe that's not such a bad idea?"

Stiles shot him a heated glare, making Isaac's eyes widen, "and what do you know about mine and Kayla's relationship? Apart from when you're trying to get between her legs?"

Isaac sighed tiredly at the dig, "Okay… I'm shutting up now"

"Probably wise" Paige agreed, not liking that reminder.

"Stiles…" Scott murmured softly, drawing in his best friends' attention, "I think what Malia was trying to say was… to just leave her be for a while?" he suggested, "she's been through a lot"

"… Yeah… maybe you're right" he muttered, giving up, "I'll give her as much space as she needs"

"Good" Malia said stonily, "now can we get the hell out of here please? This place gives me the creeps"

* * *

For a few blissful moments, there was nothing but darkness. It enveloped her, cradling her in its grasp - but then the pain came.

She groaned, muffling her winces as she groggily tried to peel her eyes open, wishing for that darkness to come back.

"Kez? Oh thank god" a relieved voice pierced her ear drums as she felt a pair of soft, gentle hands cup her arms to sit her up, "you had me really worried there. I thought I was too late"

She recognised that voice… or she thought she did… but it couldn't be…

Her vision was still blurry, only shadowed shapes floating in front of her as she screwed her eyes shut, giving them a rub before blinking to clear the painful white flashes, an uncomfortable knot forming in the pit of her stomach.

"Who…?"

She was sure the stranger chuckled faintly, "are you telling me you don't recognise your own brother?"

Her stomach dropped, forcing her eyes to focus, her jaw slowly beginning to gape as she squinted through the bright rays of the Californian sun to see a male sitting in front of her, a nervous half smile playing on his lips as he waited for her reaction.

But… but it couldn't be. No. No, she was dreaming. This was just a dream. Or maybe she was hallucinating – maybe she had finally lost it, she honestly wouldn't be surprised – but even when she screwed her eyes shut, whispering to herself to get it together, upon reopening them the figure didn't disappear, he just stayed right where he was, hovering in front of her.

"… Is this some kind of sick joke?" she whispered, "do you think this is funny?"

The male rolled his eyes humorously, "this isn't a Halloween costume Kez, see?" he pinched his cheek, "all real. I know it's a lot to take in, and I get that, but you're not really going to reject your only brother are you?"

She studied him – _hard_. If it was a costume or an illusion then it was a good one because he looked just like he did all those years ago – the same dark hair that had to be trimmed to be kept under control, same prominent jaw line, same kind yet mischievous eyes yet, unlike before, they held a much more profound sadness and loss, like he didn't quite know where to belong.

The last time she had seen him, he had been dying… she had held his hand, spoke to him through the blood and the pain… that was nearly three years ago… what the hell was going on?

"… D-Dylan?" she stuttered, tears blurring her eyes, "is that really you?"

"Yeah sis… it's really me" he whispered, breaking out into a smile, "long time no see, huh?"

Before she really knew what she was doing, she leapt over and crushed him into a hug, grabbing the back of his tee to hold onto him tight.

"Maybe I should die more often if this is the kind of reaction I get" he teased lightly, but there was a heaviness to his tone that she didn't like, as if he was living through his very own hell, "but I missed you too Kez"

"But… but how… I don't… I don't understand…?" she pulled back, in total awe as she peered over at him, "it's been… _years_ …"

"I know" he dipped his head into a sombre nod, "I couldn't quite believe it myself when I woke up. I mean… look at you" he smiled a little, "you've grown up so much. You're not an annoying fifteen-year-old anymore, you're a woman…"

Sometimes she wishes she was that same fifteen-year-old, before her life turned even crappier than it was – what he was seeing was not her necessarily growing up, but her being tired of life's bullcrap.

"This is… too much" she whispered, "you were dead and… and now you're… you're here…"

"I shouldn't have sprung it on you, I know" he apologised, "but I heard what was going down at the school and I knew I had to do something. Natalia won't be pleased but-"

"Wait…" her back stiffened, "her? _She_ did this to you?"

Her brother nodded, "for a while I felt… obliged to her" he explained, "I was scared Kez. One moment, I was warm and happy and the next I was cold and alone, trapped in my coffin. I was confused and she made me… do things for her" he added shamefully, "things I'm not proud of, but once I started feeling like myself again, once I started to adjust to living, I couldn't stick by her side. She's vindictive and evil and hell bent on revenge. I wasn't going to be a part of that, especially when she's out for your blood. Uh… want to tell me why?"

"Yeah" she muttered angrily, "I'll tell you why, but you probably won't like me very much when I do"

He frowned in concern, "I highly doubt that, little sis"

Just over an hour later, Dylan sat opposite her in the booth at a cute quirky café just outside town that was near dead, even the waitresses were nearly asleep behind the counter which made the perfect spot to discuss sensitive subjects without prying eyes or ears.

"Oh my god…" he said for the millionth time, "you _killed_ … wow…"

"He was asking for it" she stuck up for herself, "I just wish I made it more painful for Andres"

"Well he certainly sounded like he deserved it…"

"He did" that she was adamant about, "the rest? Maybe not so much"

Dylan frowned opposite her, dark eyes analysing her every move, "want do you mean 'the rest'?"

"Oh… your baby sister turned into a serial killer" she said bluntly, much to his shock and surprise, "actually, she kinda turned emotionless as well – after effect of hell. You're not the only Hale to have died and come back from the dead, you know? Must be a Hale tradition"

His eyes went wide, leaning back in his seat, "you died too?"

"Yeah" she nodded, quite unconcerned, "impaled through the chest with a sword. Spent the better part of three centuries in an ancient Japanese fox spirits own personal, hand crafted hell. It changes a person" she shrugged, "oh, and by the way, mom's dead"

Dylan's eyes went wide, his body sagging in shock, "what? M-mom, how?"

"It's a funny story, in fact if I tell it I might start laughing and I don't think you'd be best pleased with me for that"

Her brother's eyes filled with saddened tears but he bravely held them back, giving her a critical once over, "you really have changed Kez"

"Like I said, hell wasn't the most pleasurable nor relaxing experience. I came out of there feeling… nothing. Still do sometimes but I'm trying to get back on track"

"When I died… I was happy" he spoke up, "I didn't feel fear or pain, or loneliness, I felt warm and loved and needed. I can't explain it, but time had no meaning. I was-"

"-at peace?"

"Yeah…"

"Well… not all of us were that lucky" she proclaimed snarkily, "some of us got punished for trying to do the right thing, so excuse my bitterness and underlining seething rage"

He gulped, "so we're both freaks of nature then, huh?"

"Looks like it" she leaned back in the leather booth, "you okay with that?"

He smirked, "of course I am. I'm used to it"

She absentmindedly rubbed at the still painful bruises around her wrists, a horrible reminder etched into her skin but Dylan saw her becoming distracted, reaching out for her hand and pulling her sleeve up.

"Oh god" he frowned, turning her wrist over in his gentle grip, "Kez, what the hell happened?"

"Nothing I want to talk about" she snatched her arm back, tugging her sleeve back down, "so drop it"

He didn't drop it – his older brother instinct kicking in despite the fact she was, now, older than him, all this 'coming back from the dead' thing making her head spin.

"Kayla, if someone hurt you-"

Her eyes flashed a bright luminous green and he shut up, too shocked to get any words out, "I can handle myself. A lot changed in the last three years that you missed Dylan, you don't have to protect me anymore"

"What… what are you?"

"In simple terms? A seductress" she smirked at his baffled expression, "you know, expert at anything and everything sexual"

"Okay, okay, way too much info" he shook his head, waving his hands out, "I don't need to know about your sex life"

"Hey, you wanted to know"

He shot her a smirk, leaning his elbows on the table, "I missed you Kez… I'm so sorry I left you alone"

She swallowed the lump in her throat, pushing down her sadness and grief, "as you should be. You definitely deserve an ass kicking for that"

"I agree" he laughed a little but soon sobered up, sending her a pitying look, "I don't know how much of what Natalia told me was the truth, but it sounded like after… after dad and I, you had a rough time with it…?"

"You mean the alcohol binges, countless OD's, meaningless sex?"

"Well… that too" he murmured, a sad glint returning to his eyes, "and uh… your daughter"

Her back immediately straightened, getting defensive, "what do you know about Mia?"

"I know that you loved her" he replied, "and I know that losing her must have devastated you. That's why I want to help you get her back"

"… You know what Natalia did with her?" she leaned forward, her eyes like blazing fire, "Dylan, if you know anything, you better tell me right this second-"

"I was there when she… she… dug her up…" a betrayed, disgusted look flashed across her face, "I was still half out of it, too scared to leave… but I knew then just how sick she was making me carry her coffin – my own niece! Whatever it takes, I'll help you get her body back so she can get a proper burial. We make a good team, don't we?"

Her jaw was still clenched, anger at her brother for ever working with that bitch coursing through her veins but she tried to hold it back, to be reasonable, to be understanding but it was hard for her when all she felt was rage but she kept her anger just simmering below the surface, keeping her daughter at the forefront of her mind.

"She won't be pleased with you" Kayla said, "in fact, she'll be furious. She might even try and kill you, you ready for that?"

He tilted his chin up, "for my little sis? I'd do anything"

"Actually, I think you'll find I'm technically the oldest now" she watched his expression fall as it dawned on him – the sixteenth month age gap was now non existent, he was still the sixteen year old he had been when he died and she had continued getting older, now almost reaching adult hood.

"Dammit" he cursed, "this is so not fair"

She smirked, "don't let your ego be wounded for too long" she suggested, pulling a fifty from her pocket and slapping it on the table in front of them, "we have work to do"

* * *

"Hey… I heard what happened at the school, are you okay?"

Sophie was pacing back and forth across his porch, her hands intertwined nervously and despite the sadness and worry he was feeling, he plastered a small tired smile on his face.

"Yeah, false alarm. No contagious diseases being spread, all good"

"Then what was it?" she wondered, reaching up on her tip toes to press the back of her hand to his forehead, "you're still a little hot"

He reached up, gently taking her small warm hand in his grip and pulling it away from him, linking their fingers, "uh… flu I think. And I'm fine, just tired"

"Let me make you something to eat?" she continued, following him forwards as he unlocked the front door, "you don't look well"

"If you want to" he was too tired to argue, slipping in and letting her close the door, "I don't know what we have in though"

"I'll make a sandwich" she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, "why don't you go upstairs and let me deal with this?"

"Yeah… yeah okay" he nodded, sending her a thankful smile, "sorry, it's just been a chaotic day"

"I can imagine" her eyes were nothing but overflowing with sympathy, "and I won't stay long if you need your sleep, I just want to make sure you're okay"

He hadn't even known her that long and yet she was considerate of his feelings, rushing to meet him at his house to make sure he was alright… he missed this type of relationship – the gentle, loving, caring kind.

"You uh…" he thought back to earlier, at how devastated he had been learning what Kayla had been through, how he tried to make things better but recognised that she needed her space from him for the time being – maybe forever… she didn't want to talk to him, or be near him… and after all that, he needed a little bit of comfort, "you can stay as long as you want"

She gave him a shy smile, cheeks flushing a light pink, "o-okay, if you're sure"

"I am" he would probably regret this but he liked her, he couldn't help how he felt and he was doing exactly what Kayla wanted – leaving her alone, just like she asked.

He climbed the stairs, heading to his bedroom as he tiredly shrugged off his jacket and kicked off his shoes, collapsing back down onto his unmade bed as he questioned everything he was doing with his life – how did things get so messed up? So complicated? They were making progress, he was getting through to her… they were back to being Stiles and Kayla again and then… suddenly… they weren't.

It was beyond heart-breaking… it was soul-crushing.

"I uh… wasn't quite sure what you liked so I just made a ham sandwich… too boring?"

He smiled, "not at all" taking the plate from her grasp as she sat next to him, "I love ham sandwiches"

"That's what I figured, can't really go wrong with good ol' classic ham"

Another thing she didn't know about him – if that was Kayla, she knew he liked his ham sandwiches with exactly three and a half slices of ham, with butter on both sides of the bread with a lick of mustard just to add flavour, Sophie didn't have a scoobie.

"Actually uh… I'm not really hungry" he apologised, "sorry, my head's in a mess. Couldn't eat even if I wanted to"

"That's okay" she smiled, "are you feeling better?"

"That's up for debate"

Her face fell, "you saw Kayla today, didn't you?"

He arched a brow, "that obvious huh?"

"I know heartbreak when I see it" she sympathised, "and I'm guessing it… didn't go well?"

"She wants space" he murmured sadly, "actually, she just doesn't want me. She found out about us" he added, "so that's that, I guess"

Sophie frowned, "I didn't mean to come between you two…"

"You didn't" he reassured, "trust me, that was all me" he shook his head, dispelling those thoughts as he leaned forward to place the plate on his bedside table, searching for a change of subject, "so uh… did you go to the pharmacy this morning?"

Sophie suddenly looked like a deer caught in the headlights, whether about the reminder of their passionate night or his straightforwardness he didn't know, but he shrugged it off, keeping his gaze focused solely on hers.

"Uh… yeah… about that…" he cocked a brow, urging her to go on, "you see um… the thing is… my aunt works there. I was going to go but I just… couldn't. because then she would know that I had, you know, _sex_ -" she whispered like the word was frowned upon, "-then my parents would find out and I'd be grounded because they always taught me about the importance of condoms and-"

"Your aunt wouldn't be able to tell, patient confidentiality and all that" he reassured.

"Yeah but… its embarrassing" she flared a bright red, "I would feel so ashamed…"

"Nothing shameful about sex" he promised, tilting her chin up with gentle fingers, "people do it all the time, at least you're taking the initiative and being cautious with getting the afterpill. And if she confronted you, I would take full responsibility. It was my fault, I should've remembered to wear a condom, I'm just not used to wearing one is all"

Sophie gulped, "you're uh… clean, aren't you?"

"Yeah – promise" he nodded, "so why don't I take you later? Maybe your aunt's shift would have finished by then?"

"Thanks Stiles" she smiled shyly, "that means a lot"

"It's the least I can do" he had pressed a soft kiss to her lips before even realising, pulling back slowly to gaze into her eyes, "uh… sorry… I can still do that, can't I?"

She giggled, "of course, I even quite enjoy it"

He briefly chuckled, kissing her again before pulling back and stroking her cheek, "I was going to have a power nap, recharge my batteries, but you're welcome to stay?"

"I would like that"

She lay down next to him in bed, her small body pressed against his.

"You know Stiles?" his eyes had drifted shut but he hummed out a response, letting her know he was listening, "I'm starting to really like you"

What could he say to that? That he didn't know what he felt because he was still hung up on and worried about his ex, the one he really wanted to be with but couldn't? that was a dick move, and he already felt bad as it was. So, instead of words, he simply settled for kissing the top of her head and settled down into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

"Oh my _god_ , quit screaming, it's just me"

" _K-Kayla?"_ Lydia exclaimed breathlessly, still clutching her chest as her heart raced, "why-why did you climb through my bedroom window?"

She shrugged, "your front door is locked"

"And you couldn't have knocked?"

"Huh… never thought about that"

She swung her legs over the window sill, her feet settling on Lydia's carpet, "sorry it's late, I got… side-tracked"

"We were all worried about you" Lydia stepped forward, "apparently you just disappeared from the vault… what happened?"

"It's a… long story" she supplied, "but I just wanted to let you know I was okay"

Lydia cocked an eyebrow, worry twisting her features, "Kay… I know you're hurting, but pulling away won't help anything-"

"I'm not pulling" she promised, "I just… have something to focus on now. I'm going to channel every ounce of shame… anger… disgust… every bad thing I feel into finding my daughter and get her back home. To give her a final resting place" her friend's eyes were blurry with tears, listening to her speak with such emotion in her voice, "because that's what she deserves. I want my daughter back… even if she is just bones, because the thought of Natalia having her is… it hurts" she explained simply, "it _kills_ me. So I could fall apart, continue crying about those men and what they did… or I could be strong for my baby. And I know which one I'm going to choose"

"Kayla…" Lydia whispered, stepping closer to her, "you don't have to do this alone"

"I'm not alone" she said mysteriously.

"Let me help" Lydia pleaded, "I can-I can _help_ you. I want to help you"

"No" Kayla shook her head softly, reaching out to brush some hair from Lydia's cheek, "I can't let you do that"

"Why?" Lydia was frustrated, a determined look flashing across her face, "I'm your friend"

"Exactly" Kayla smiled, "that's _exactly_ the reason why I can't let you. Lydia… to do this… if I have a chance of beating this bitch… there can be no more nice Kayla"

"What do you mean?" she asked in panic, "what are you talking about?"

"She's twisted, relentless… she knew taking Mia would get to me and it did. She exposed a weakness. And you… now… are another weakness. I'm turning soft and that can't happen. Not yet. So as soon as I leave here… I'm gonna push and push and push away whatever the hell these feelings are so I can play this game with a level head"

"But… but you _can't"_ Lydia's world was turning upside down, shaking her head frantically, "what if you stay that way forever? We… _I_ … was just starting to get you back… don't leave me"

"I have to" she said simply, "I failed Mia once already… I can't do that again. I just can't"

"Kay…" her friend reached out to take her hands, squeezing them hard, "emotions, feelings… they can be a weapon, you can channel them to make you stronger… you don't have to resort back to that person you were"

"Yeah… I do…"she said sadly, "and nothing can change my mind on this…"

"This is a stupid plan" she grumbled, "and leaving me out of it is an even worse one. I know you're trying to protect me but I want to help – I need to help"

"Lydia…" she whispered, glancing down at their feet as she struggled to regain her composure, trying to keep her look soft, but neutral, "let me keep you out of this to keep you safe. I came here to tell you this because… because lately… I've felt attached to you again. And because I trust you. Scott has Kira, Isaac has Paige, even Stiles has people to lean on, but you? you've been left in the dark… you lost so many people and I don't want you to feel like you've lost me too, again…"

"Then don't go" she begged tearfully, "don't make me lose you"

Kayla smiled gently, raising a palm to cup her cheek tenderly, wiping away her tears before they could fall, "Lydia… you're special to me, you know that, don't you?"

She sniffed but nodded, too upset for words.

"Thank you… for everything" she whispered honestly, "for being there… for being you. And for, despite everything I've done, all the hurt I caused, helping me when I really needed someone. I won't forget it. Ever" she vowed fiercely, "I just hope you understand why I'm going to do the things I'm going to do…"

Lydia bit her lip but nodded, "I do. I understand. You're a mom first and foremost, even if you never got a chance to show it"

"Exactly" Kayla whispered, "and even when I'm emotionless, that maternal instinct and love is still there. It's so _powerful_ Lydia…"

"Kay…" she almost started crying but held back the tears, "come back to me?"

Her stare held Lydia's for what felt like such a long stretch of time but was probably only several seconds, sliding her hand from her cheek into her silky hair, "do you doubt I will?"

The strawberry blonde's bottom lip wobbled, a devastated look crossing her features, "I… I don't know. Everyone always leaves me"

For a second, her heart broke at her friends' vulnerability and that was when she knew, for sure, she was definitely too soft, too full of heart to ever take on Natalia in this state, only further setting her decision in stone.

"I won't ever leave you again" she promised, "for so long, everything revolved around Stiles. My feelings for him clouded so much, but not anymore. I'm seeing clearly for the first time in a long time. He doesn't have to be the only person I live for, because I have other people I love too… you being one of them" she admitted, "I can't promise when, but I will come back and be the Kayla you know… I swear"

"Then uh…" Lydia gulped, "that's good enough for me"

She smiled, inching a little closer to Lydia, "I knew you'd understand Lyds…"

There it was, that nickname she always used to use finally falling from her lips – Lydia hadn't heard it in months.

She continued inching a little closer till their chests touched, gazing down at the strawberry blonde, "when I said you were special to me, I meant that, you know that right?"

Lydia's moss green eyes dropped to watch her lips frame those quiet words, nodding slowly, "I know Kay"

"… Good"

She stayed still, waiting, waiting for something, anything, she didn't know what but she waited, feeling something bubble in her chest, the air suddenly becoming very heavy as Kayla tilted her head down, nose brushing against her own and her breath caught, heart stilling in her chest for several moments.

She didn't want her best friend to go… not again. She didn't know if she could bear it.

"Close your eyes…"

She listened to Kayla's quiet, calm tone, immediately letting her eyelids flutter shut in anticipation as she felt her warm breath tickle the skin on her face, gentle yet damaged lips slowly brushing against her own.

Lydia's head was spinning, standing there still, unable to move, waiting, just waiting, and was rewarded for her patience as she finally felt the soft touch of lips against her own, cautiously at first, applying nothing but gentle pressure but when Lydia let out a quiet moan, her mouth parting slightly, did Kayla let out a small smile, tangling her hands through her hair and walking her until her back hit the wall.

The urgency increased, Kayla's lips hot and heavy against her own as Lydia slid her hands down her waist, tugging her further forward into her embrace as Kayla had her pinned there against the wall, lips working hard against her own.

They always had a special bond… Lydia just didn't realise _quite_ how special until this moment.

Her hands settled on Kayla's hips, letting her friend dominate the kiss as she poured every ounce of affection and promise into it, savouring the moment.

Her lips slowed down, peeling her eyes open to stare at Lydia's flushed face, admiring her features, pressing another slow gentle kiss to her lips before disappearing into the night.

And when Lydia could no more feel her warm calming breath on her lips did she open her eyes and come face to face with an empty bedroom, her heart sinking.

"Oh Kayla…" she whispered, wrapping her arms around herself as she peered out the open window, a sad, hollow feeling ripping her chest apart, "I hope you know what you're doing…"

 **A/N) AM I TERRIBLE? YES we have established that ha so sorry it took like 2 and a half weeks, been busy and lacked serious motivation but 8000 hope I made it up to you haha and omg DYLAN and a little stiles sophie and now kayla Lydia, im shaking things up a bit haha but I hope you all enjoed and please please review it would mean a lot and im stuck in a rut and would appreciate the motivation lol see you soon xxx**


	46. Chapter 46 - The switch

**Disclaimer: teen wolf is not mine THANK YALL SO MUCH really, from the bottom of my heart, been feeling bleh recently so getting those lovely reviews really perked me up so a massive shoutout to Ashkeymcd25, zvc56, destinyd643, x XRoweenaJAugustineX x, linda96, hope, BeccaSco, guest (I ship it too Ngl lol), Senjaninja, nesha and gimmeoreas (you're so true) for reviewing I love you all hope you enjoy this long chapter :)**

"Paige, hold up" Isaac called out, jogging up behind her as she walked briskly to her car on the opposite end of the school parking lot, "can we talk?"

She sighed loudly, folding her arms as she stopped walking and cocked an eyebrow at him, "there's absolutely nothing to talk about"

"Paige, please don't do this" he begged, "I know what I did with Kayla was wrong, I know that, and I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you... But I can't just abandon her. We've been through too much for that"

"I know exactly how much you've _been_ through" she exclaimed bitterly, "look, I took a chance on you. Twice. It never worked out. I should've known but I was naive and loved up and I looked past everything and just saw your good. But I can't be with someone who wants someone else"

"It's not like that anymore, I swear" he promised desperately, reaching out for her hands but she shook him off, "whatever I felt for Kayla is in the past and it's staying there. What happened earlier... It was... Closure, I guess" he murmured, "I want to be with you"

"You have a funny way of showing it" she scoffed, "I can't keep doing this Isaac, I can't keep feeling like your second option, like I'm just here to pass the time. It's horrible"

"And I hate myself for making you feel that" he said in pain, "I never meant to hurt you"

"But you did" she shrugged, "you may have feelings for me... You may even love me like you said, but whenever I find you looking at me, I can't help but feel you wish it was her" she admitted tearfully, "and I'm done trying to compete with her. I'm not going through that again"

"You don't have to" Isaac stated, "I mean it Paige. Kayla is a friend, nothing more. I'm _sure_ of it"

She shook her head, "I don't believe you, I'm sorry"

"You have to" he exclaimed, "I don't love her like I love you okay? I realise that now. I love _you_..."

Tears filled her eyes, her bottom lip beginning to shake, "I don't know if I can move past this. If I can forgive you and move on and have to play nice with her when I know what you two did. I'm so mad that I can't even make myself feel sorry for her because what does she expect? Nothing to happen when she gets so drunk and high she can't even see straight?"

"Don't blame her for what they did!"

"I'm not" she rushed, "I just... I can't be nice with her because I hate her for ever sleeping with you because, emotionless or not, Kayla is still capable of choosing between right and wrong and all she's chosen is wrong. Everything she's done is bad and that's on her. She knew exactly what she was doing she just didn't care. She didn't care about those people she murdered and she didn't care about you guys when she was tearing you all a new one, just like how you were nothing more than a stiff dick to hop on. That's what she did - she used you, and I can be pissed as hell at her for that if I want"

Isaac only half listened to her rant, still pissed that, mad or not, she couldn't sympathise with Kayla or understand that regardless of what situation she got herself in, stuff like that shouldn't happen. She couldn't hate her that much, could she?

"Paige... She may have used me. It may have just been a meaningless fuck, but she didn't make me do anything _I_ didn't want to do" she flinched, sending him a dirty look, "she didn't force me into it. For that moment, I wanted her. I wanted a distraction. So be mad at me for sleeping with her, don't hate Kayla for going along with it"

"There you go" she muttered bitterly, "digging yourself into an even deeper hole to spare her the blame. Tell me again who it is you love?"

"I'm just telling you the truth" he rushed out, "being honest. Setting the record straight. She wasn't in the right frame of mind, you know what she was like when she first came back, and I did kiss her first-"

"Stop" she raised her hand, cutting him off, "I don't want to hear about it"

"You need to understand-"

"No, I need you to stop making excuses for her" she exclaimed, "you initiated it, but she responded. She didn't have to and, emotions or no emotions, she knew how much it would hurt me and Stiles but she went through with it. That's not called not being in the right frame of mind, that's just being a spiteful, vindictive little bitch"

He shook his head in disappointment, "I know you and Kayla have history-"

"Oh you don't know the half of it" she snapped, "it goes well beyond Harry, trust me on that"

"... What are you talking about?"

Paige clenched her jaw tightly, her cheeks flushing a deep red, "she was off the rails after her dad and Dylan. Everyone knew it. It was a small town and people talk and what they had to say wasn't nice stuff. I defended her. I stuck my neck out for her, even when her precious Harry didn't. I... I found her one night, almost dead in a ditch. She OD'd on crack cocaine and heroin. She was barely breathing so I called an ambulance. They got her to the hospital just in time to get her heart beating again. In fact the doctor said it was a miracle because the amount of drugs in her system should've flatlined her immediately. When she woke, I went to see her. To offer help because I saw how much pain she was in and I was the only one in the waiting room. Not her mom, not Harry, not that abusive boyfriend of hers. Only me. And she drove me away" she added simply, "just like how she drove everyone else away. She was so... Horrible. So ungrateful. Blamed me for her living, saying it was none of my business and I should keep my nose out and next time to just leave her for dead. That I was, and I quote, 'a clingy puppy snapping at my heels for some attention, it's pathetic, you're pathetic'. And all because I saved her life. She said more horrible things, things I don't even want to try remember, and I was left crying in the bathroom as she checked herself out the hospital and went right back to shooting more lines and drinking herself into a near coma. That's the thanks I got for trying to do right by her and all I got in return was made to feel like shit. She probably doesn't even remember it but I do. I _always_ will"

Isaac listened intently, understanding Paige's bitterness but knew it wasn't healthy to carry around this grudge, especially for this long.

"But you tried" he said softly, "after that you tried being her friend"

"I did" she confirmed, "even when I moved to Beacon Hills I tried but apart of me still hated her for what she said that night"

"... She had just lost her brother and dad" he explained feebly but Paige's eyes flared, "wait, let me finish. It doesn't excuse what she did, not one bit, but she was acting out in grief. I'm sure if you spoke to Kayla and made her aware of the lasting impact that moment had, she would apologise. She would own her mistakes and be the bigger person"

"You have a lot of faith in someone who has killed without remorse"

"No" he shook his head, "I have faith in my best friend. Because that's what she is, nothing more. I need to help her because she helped me, so much. And losing her hurt like hell. Please Paige... Believe that"

"I can't. Not yet. It doesn't feel like you're ready to commit to me fully. Sometimes it feels like there's more people in this relationship than us, like her and your friends. And I haven't gelled with them the same - I'm not supernatural, hell I don't even understand anything about that world..."

"I can teach you" he said, "we can do more things together. Like tonight" he rushed out, "let me take you to dinner and we can talk properly. Please Paige?"

She crossed her arms and analysed his expression, trying to gauge if he was just playing her or did truly want her but it was hard. She had never really been able to read Isaac, too infatuated with him to see his drawbacks.

"Fine" she submitted, "just dinner. That's it. But not tonight, I'm busy. Tomorrow okay? I'll see you at seven"

And Isaac knew he would have to pull out all the stops if he ever had a chance in hell in not losing her, determined to keep both his best friend and girlfriend in his life because, if she did make him choose, he didn't know who he would. And that scared the living day lights out of him.

* * *

When Stiles awoke after his much needed nap, he didn't want to talk. To face his issues head on. He just wanted to forget, to pretend for a moment that what was happening wasn't actually real.

His guilt was tremendous, his anger and bitterness out in full force.

He blamed himself. He hated himself for breaking his promise and leaving her side. He resented what he had become - someone that turned his back on the person he loved just because it got hard. Maybe if he never, if he stuck it out and saw them both through the rough patches, they would both be okay. He would continue forgiving her and loving her, and she would be safe and return to the caring person she was before instead of being used and abused time and time again, slipping and sliding down that dangerous slope.

It all rattled about inside his head - imagining her pain, her agony, remembering the bruises littering her body and conjuring in his mind exactly how she got them. A hand around the throat. A smack across the face. A painful punch to the diaphragm. Being pinned down against her will. These red hot painful flashes overtook his mind until he couldn't think, imagining her pain.

"Stiles?" He glanced over at that gentle voice, seeing Sophie send him a small smile, "good sleep?"

He slept, but it wasn't a good one, it was tormented and full of agony.

He shrugged, "not really"

He was so overcome with empathy for Kayla, his mind continuously racing with horrendous memories that he couldn't think straight, couldn't relax, his body tense and on high alert. He needed a distraction, something to focus on. Someone to comfort him.

"Can I get you anything?" She asked, "you slept through dinner, but maybe I can pop to the store and-"

He cut her off with a kiss, forcing himself to feel something other this this regret and pain, anything that made him feel... Whole.

Maybe he just needed a little bit of comfort himself, was that too much to ask for?

He undressed her slowly, taking his time as his hands caressed her bare body, making her shiver as he lovingly groped at her skin before pressing her onto the top of the covers on his bed, hovering over her as he kissed her neck, dragging his lips along the flushed skin before beginning to slide his hips forward into her, rocking against her at a lazy but passionate pace, her arms slinking around his neck to hold him tight.

And Kayla didn't know why she turned up at the Stilinski house - maybe for closure? Maybe to see Stiles one last time before she flipped the switch and he hated her indefinitely? She didn't know, but she felt pulled there by an invisible force, beckoning her forward.

"Who lives here?" Her brother asked in confusion, quirking a brow from the passenger seat.

"My uh... Ex, I guess" she sighed. "He means a lot to me"

"We don't have time for a hook up Kay" Dylan smirked, "we've got work to do, remember?"

She rolled her eyes, "it's not like that, I just need to... To see him. Just for a moment" she explained softly, "things are complicated and all we seem to do lately is hurt each other, but that doesn't mean that I don't... That I don't... Love him..."

Dylan frowned in wondering, giving her a critical once over, "he's special to you, isn't he?"

"Unfortunately yeah" she sighed, "I'll just be a minute" she promised, "wait for me"

"Well duh Kez"

She rolled her eyes, hopping from the car as she walked slowly up the path, trying the door handle and was pleasantly surprised that it was open but thought no more about it as she climbed the stairs, immediately turning to Stiles' bedroom but stopped short as she heard some breathless, quiet grunting escaping the crack in the door and a knot formed in her stomach, a cold chill sweeping over her body.

She didn't want to see this but something made her step forward to look, to double check that her ears weren't playing tricks on her as she carefully pushed the wooden door further open, the hinges squeaking a little as she did so but her worst fears were confirmed, her heart tearing into a million pieces.

It shouldn't hurt as much as this - they fell out, they broke up... Kinda... She had pushed him away after he drifted. Technically, he was doing nothing wrong but it still hurt like hell. Maybe even worse. She had been to hell and, in this moment, she would take that a hundred times over seeing this.

Watching him having sex with another girl.

But it looked more than that. It wasn't the way she had screwed all those people - in a meaningless, empty way. It looked intense and passionate, nothing short of loving as he kissed her neck and jaw, his palms caressing her bare body before carefully hooking his hand around her knee, pulling it higher around his hip as he moved slowly against her, taking his time. Being wholly intimate like he... Like he _cared_ for her.

That sudden realisation destroyed her.

When she had sex with everyone bar him, it was void of any emotion or care. It was just an act of pleasure and distraction on her part, but here, watching him hold her... She could see that he wanted her, that he was having feelings for her - _human, romantic feelings_. She had lost him, forever.

And, yeah, maybe that was her fault. Maybe she didn't even deserve his love or care in the first place, but it didn't stop her hurt.

The person she had pushed away, the same person that had worked his way back into her life, helping her, making her a better person, treating her like a human being and not a broken or useless object didn't look at her the same way anymore. He let his eyes wander, his mind breaking away from her and his heart straying.

They had totally disconnected from each other, in more ways than one.

She swallowed thickly, letting her hand drop from the door as she took a small step back just as the girl, the stranger Kayla had yet to meet and, quite frankly, didn't want to, tightened her arms around Stiles' neck, pulling him closer as she nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck, kissing his bare flesh but her dazzling blue eyes flickered upwards, settling on her own tearful, haunted look.

Kayla watched her expression twist into shame and surprise, her legs slowly loosening from around Stiles' waist but he didn't stop, he continued his slow strokes into her, gracious hips dipping in and out from between her legs as his toned body slid against hers, nibbling soft marks into her skin - completely unaware at the intrusion, too distracted, too enveloped in pleasure to notice.

"S-Stiles?" The girl's voice shook, eyes still wide as she slid her hands down his arms, holding onto his biceps as she craned her neck up, body completely freezing and only then did Stiles pause inside her, holding himself up on his palms and he glanced over his shoulder and immediately his flushed and sweaty cheeks drained of colour.

"K-K-Kayla" he stammered, entire body tensing but both of them were too surprised, too ashamed at being caught in the act to move immediately, still holding onto each other like they were still in the throes of passion.

She sniffed tearfully, holding back her emotions that threatened to spill out as her guard went up, a snide roll of the eyes following, "don't let me interrupt" before backing away and beginning to walk away.

"No, w-wait, Kayla _wait_ -" he jumped off Sophie, yanking his beige slacks off the edge of the bed as he rushed to pull them on, grabbing his plaid shirt on the way out the door as he tried to sling it over his arms, lanky legs slipping and sliding across the wooden floor to catch up with her, "-Kaylz, baby _wait_ , Kayla _please_ stop-"

She swivelled around as she reached the top of the stairs, her expression fierce but beginning to crumble, "don't bother Stiles, I don't want to hear your excuses. Go back to her, see if I care"

"I just... We were... It was just..."

She quirked a brow, bottom lip beginning to shake, "do the decent thing and don't lie to me Stiles. It's ' _just_ ' nothing. You like her... You like her enough to not only have sex with her, but make love to her too. Congratulations, I hope you'll be really happy together" she added bitterly, preparing to walk away but he grabbed her arm in his vice like grip, keeping her steady.

"Don't walk away. Not again"

She tried to jerk her arm away but he was panicking and strong, his adrenaline kicking in and she was upset and weakened, unable to fight off his grip immediately.

"Me walk away? _Me?"_ She shrieked, jolting her arm to try and dislodge his grip but it still didn't work, "you broke up with me. You're the one with your dick in some skinny blonde girl and you have the nerve to lecture me on walking away? Hypocrite"

"Let me explain" he begged, "please Kayla, _please_ -"

"What is there to explain?" She screamed, "you have _feelings_ for her. That much is blatantly obvious. You broke up with me and not five minutes later, start fucking around with some girl you barely know. Doesn't seem complicated to me, now let me go"

"You left" he replied just as heatedly and desperately, his grip tightening, "I thought you were going to die and you just left that vault. Do you know how scared I was? Do you?"

"Evidently, not scared enough" she added bitterly, scoffing at his bare chest on show from his unbuttoned shirt, kiss marks obvious on his bare skin, "and it was a fucking blessing not having to face you all after what happened"

A saddened frown tugged at his brows, his gaze dropping to her arm he was still holding - arm that was still sore and achey from the bruises they left, "... I was going to take you to the hospital..." He whispered, "get my dad to... To find who did this-"

"Stop" she cut him off, managing to free herself from his grip when he was distracted, "stop it. Stop _trying_ to play the hero. If I wanted people to know, I would report it myself" she shook her head in disappointment, "you don't understand _anything_ , do you?"

He kept his expression soft and apologetic, "I'm trying to..."

"Not hard enough" she took a step back, balancing on the top step as she folded her arms over her chest, "they... They took what they wanted, and do you know what I got in return?" She demanded, "shame. Hate. Anger. Self loathing. Embarrassment. And call me a pessimist, but no one's going to believe me. The local slut got raped? Oh yeah sure, _funny story"_ she mocked what she knew hundreds of people would think and say, shame twisting her gut, "and this happened to me. _Me_. Not you. They raped _me_ Stiles and this is my business. Not yours. So stay out of it"

"I want to... I want to help..."

She shook her head, "you can't. And even if you could, I wouldn't let you" she said honestly, "I meant what I said. I don't want to be anywhere near you"

She turned to walk away but his voice called out, stopping her in her tracks, "you came here... You were looking for me... You still _need_ me"

She sighed heavily, turning back around, "I only came because I was under the delusion we could part under semi good terms because I need to do something and when I do it, no one is going to like me very much when I do. But I was being naive, and stupid. I should've known you would be with her" she jutted her chin down the hall, where she knew Sophie was listening on the other side of the wooden door, "so turn around and go back to her and leave me the hell alone"

"I can't do that" he said softly, shaking his head as he inched forward to cup her cheek but she scoffed and jerked away, batting away his hand.

"Don't you _dare_ touch me after touching her" she exclaimed heatedly, trying to back away but he curled his hands around her shoulders, keeping her facing him.

"I love you... That'll never change, never, I just... We weren't working. We were broken. We needed a break, a clear perspective. _Please_ don't hate me Kayla, please... _Please_... I just, I can't _think_ straight... I don't know what to do..."

"Stiles, let go of me-"

"I miss you Kaylz... I miss _everything_ about you, I was just trying to do the right thing, to put you first and this thing with Sophie wasn't meant to happen but it did and-"

"I said _let go"_ she shouted, shoving at his chest so he stumbled back, no longer imposing her personal space, " _stop touching me!"_

He realised his mistake, his deep brown eyes shining with sympathy, "I'm sorry-"

She fled, racing down the stairs and towards the front door but he was hot on her heels, managing to slip in front of her and press his back against the door.

"Get out of my way" she demanded, her eyes flashing green, "I _mean_ it Stiles-"

But, to her surprise, he started crying, distraught cries escaping his throat as he dropped to his knees, peering up at her with nothing but agony and sadness in his gaze.

"I'm sorry... I'm so _sorry_ " he sobbed, "I-I failed you... I let you down and-and I was weak. I p-pushed you and _pushed_ \- it's all my fault. If I... If I didn't blame you for that tape, n-none of this would have happened... You would be _safe_. You wouldn't have gotten-have gotten r... raped..." She flinched as he said that, hating the reminder as she felt her entire body sting with the imposing bruises still left, "I wasn't there. I-I wasn't _there_ " he cried out in distress, fresh tears springing from his eyes, "I promised I al-always would be but I wasn't. _I wasn't._ W-What they did to you... It's because of _m-me..._ Because I... I was here... Here with Sophie when you-when you _needed_ me and I... I am _s-so sorry..."_

This was no act. She could feel his distress and blame he usually covered up so well, cracking under the pressure of his guilt. And this was exactly why she didn't want him to know... Because she knew him well enough to know he would blame himself for things out with his control, exactly like he was doing now.

She blinked quickly, trying to hold back the tears as she watched him, slumped in front of her on his knees, totally dejected and in turmoil as his body shook, fresh tears slipping down his cheeks - realising now, that although he clearly liked Sophie, he was using her company as a form of distraction, something to keep him grounded before the floor caved in beneath his feet.

She gulped, slowly reaching out to cup his jaw, their broken stares clashing, "... It's not your fault" she said simply, "you didn't rape me. They did. Blame them, not yourself"

"... But I was supposed to protect you" he whispered, shaking his head in distress, "I can't do a lot of things but that, helping you, keeping you safe, that is the _one thing_ I know I can do because I would put my life on the line for you... I would do whatever it took to protect you... And I... And I didn't. I _didn't_ keep you safe. And because of that they... They... They hurt you..."

She sighed heavily, not wanting him to breakdown again in front of her - she didn't have the capacity for that, it was hard enough holding on to her own sanity without worrying about his too.

"You can't always be there Stiles" she said gently, "it's not your job to look out for me. Just uh..." She blinked quickly, desperately holding back the tears threatening to fall, "-go back to her, okay? You like her and she seems... Normal" she settled on saying with a small, ironic laugh, "and everything you've been through, you need a little bit of normalcy"

She tried to move past him but he reached out, clinging to her thighs with this desperate, lonely look gleaming in his eyes, clear tears dripping off his sharp jawline.

"Don't go Kaylz, please-please just stay, _please_ "

"Are you for real?" She demanded, half in shock and the other half in amazement, not knowing what else to do but laugh as she glanced down at him, still and sweaty and flustered, hair sticking up on end from where she was, presumably, tugging at it, his shirt hanging freely open so she could see all the marks she left on his torso from hickies to nail marks, "you can't be serious Stiles - after _that?"_ She pointed backwards towards the stairs, "not five minutes ago you were dick deep in her and now you want me to stay? Have you lost your mind? Now move"

"I-I can't lose you again" he cried, kneeling there totally lost as pain ricocheted through every inch of his body, " _I can't. I can't. I can't"_ he repeated, now wrapping his arms around her legs, hugging her thighs to his body, "I _n-need_ you"

She couldn't move even if she wanted to, having him clinging to her legs as he cried, resting his forehead against the tops of her thighs as he broke apart, his guilt and shame obvious, sadness pouring from him at everything they had lost.

"You don't need me" she said softly, lifting a hand and stroking it through his messy hair, "you think you do, there's a difference. So please just... Go back to her. That's where you want to be. You wanted easy, remember?"

He sniffed, turning his tear stained cheek against her jean clad thigh, hugging her legs tighter like he anticipated her stepping away, "I-I made a mistake" he admitted quietly, "I like her but-but I love you"

She shrugged a little, continuing to play with his hair to relax him, "it's too late. I need to go"

"No... _No_ " he said in desperation, holding her tighter, peering up at her in agonising guilt, "let me fix us, _please_ Kaylz... Please..."

"There's no point" she disagreed, "because this Kayla - the one you worked so hard to get back - won't be here for much longer. I need to get my daughter back, by any means necessary Stiles. I don't expect you to understand or even agree, but it's going to happen and when it does... There will be no us. There can't be. So go back to her and try having a normal relationship"

"L-Let me help" he pleaded, "please Kayla... Let me help you"

"I can't" she shook her head, wiping away his fresh tears, "because what I need to do... It'll hurt you. A lot. And I can't put you through that again. So please... While I'm still the Kayla that loves you... Take my advice and uh... Accept my apology" she added, trying for a gentle smile, "I put you through so much shit, so much turmoil, that I don't even understand why you still love me, but I can see you do but... But I also saw how you fucked her. It wasn't meaningless. It _meant_ something to you. And I won't make you choose between normalcy or being fucked over countless times just because you feel obligated to help me because you love me. That wouldn't be fair. So... All I can really say is I'm... I'm sorry, for _everything_. Since coming back I've screwed up so bad... I hurt you and that absolutely kills me. I know I can never make things right... But maybe... Maybe letting you have a chance with someone else, someone normal, someone that deserves you, is a good start"

He shook his head quickly, not letting go of her legs, "I was wrong Kaylz. I was wrong. I don't want easy, I want _you_. I want you no matter how hard it gets because you're the one. Please let me make this right. _**Please**_ "

She reached behind her, taking ahold of his hands and pulling them away from her, untangling his grip from her body but slowly kneeling down in front of him, holding back her tears, "no" she uttered quietly, "so uh... I hope you have a great life Stiles... I hope you get everything you wish for... But, most of all, I hope you can forgive yourself" she added, dropping a hand down to his chest, feeling his heart beat strongly against his palm, "because you are pure hearted and good and what's happened, what's happening or what will happen, is not your fault. Even if you never believe anything I say ever again, please believe that"

She could see how broken he was, how he was full of regret and pain but just simply cupped his cheeks, tilting his head down so she could press a soft, light kiss to his matted, sweaty hair, regret and bitterness bubbling in her chest at the smell of faint fruity perfume clinging to him, her scent all over him but elected to ignore it, to push it to the back of her mind. She couldn't get upset or mad that he was with someone else, she had no right to.

"... Goodbye Stiles" she murmured, feeling the crushing weight of grief flood her system as she pushed herself up slowly, watching his shoulders slump as she stepped around him and out the door, trying so damn hard not to cry and only made it half way down the path when he called out her name again and although she didn't want to turn around because it would be much easier to just keep walking to the car, ignoring the pain, something compelled her to turn around and meet his distressed stare, their gazes clashing.

"Yeah?"

He wrapped the shirt around his chest, covering the visible love marks as he stood there, dejected, "I... I really am sorry"

She sent him a small smile, "I know you are Stiles, but you have nothing to be sorry for"

He bowed his head, not wanting her to see him cry as he backtracked into the house, slowly closing the door and she sighed, rubbing at her eyes for, what she planned, was the last time, her eyes flitting upwards to his bedroom window to see the girl, Sophie she believed her name was, watching shyly from behind the curtains and just looked up at her, her expression blank.

She didn't know her but she hated her. She loathed _everything_ she represented but she never showed that, she didn't have the energy to. Plus, if she gave Stiles what he needed, then that's all that mattered.

After a few seconds she looked away, unable to keep staring at the girl and headed to the car, slipping in and letting out a long breath as she pressed her head back against the headrest, closing her eyes briefly to allow herself a moment of blissful darkness.

"I'm guessing you heard all that right?"

"I can't have super hearing without using it" her brother said jokingly to lighten the mood but his tone was edged with worry and concern, "are you uh... Okay?"

She exhaled a half laugh, peeling her eyes open, "I haven't been okay for a long while Dyl"

"Do you want me to talk to him-"

"Oh dear god no" she cut him off quickly, "don't do your whole protective big brother thing because 1) I'm the oldest sucker and 2) there's nothing to be protective over. We broke up. He's with someone else. End of story"

Her brother sighed heavily, "yeah but you love him and he clearly loves you. I don't see the problem"

"It's more complicated than that" she explained, "you didn't see me when I first got back. When I was adjusting to living again. It was bad - I hurt him, a lot. Sometimes I think it would've been easier for him if I stayed in the ground because at least then he would've moved on... Eventually, in a healthy way. But because I came back, he feels obligated to help me. To forgive me for everything, and he shouldn't have to. I was the one that ruined what we had, not him, so uh... Let's just get on with this" she finished with, turning the key in the ignition and putting the car in gear, "the sooner we figure out how to turn me dark side again, the quicker I get my daughter back and I'm not waiting any longer"

Dylan nodded, "whatever you need Kez... But only if you're sure about this. Once you do this, there may be no going back. You could stay emotionless forever, and I'll only help if you're 100% sure that this is what you really want"

She blew out a long breath, turning her head to look at him, "I'd do anything for my daughter, including this. She has to come first because she deserves more than whatever Natália has planned for her. She deserves to rest in peace and... And as her mom, I have to be the one to give her that"

Dylan assessed her expression, seeing the sincerity and burning determination in her eyes and gave a slight nod - he didn't particularly want this but he was a pioneer for people making their own choices, all he could do was help and guide her as the caring, protective brother he was and had missed being.

"Okay" he said in finality, "when you're ready, let's go"

Kayla sent him a small, thankful smile, giving one last saddened look to the Stilinski house she had many fond memories of - so much happiness and laughter, so much bonding and growing time, so much love but all that may as well have been non existent because it didn't matter anymore. What they had was ruined and tainted, she was sure of that.

Which was exactly why she didn't look back as she drove away, mentally preparing herself to move on with her life but Stiles wasn't, watching her from his window as the car disappeared into the night, his eyes welling with fresh tears.

"... I'm sorry" Sophie whispered quietly, standing behind him as she stroked his back soothingly, blue sheet wrapped around her naked slender body, "I can go if you want some time to yourself?"

He never said anything, still watching the empty street in hopes she would come back and Sophie just sighed dejectedly, picking up her clothes off the floor, feeling embarrassed and ashamed, hating herself for ever coming between those two and was just about to walk out the bedroom door to get dressed when Stiles turned around, his eyes that not long ago were full with lust and soft passion, were empty and hollow.

"You don't have to go" he murmured, "I promised I would take you to the pharmacy, remember? There's no point in waiting till tomorrow, it'll be safer tonight. The quicker the better. And if you get dressed quickly we can make it before it shuts and not have to drive 150 miles to the 24 hour one a few county's over"

She didn't quite know what to say, standing there holding his sheet across her chest but nodded shyly as he tried for a smile of reassurance but it came out forced and sad, like his heart wasn't in it.

"I'll wait in the jeep" he said, sidestepping around her and tying up the buttons on his shirt as he did so, waiting with the engine running as patiently as he could until a few minutes little she appeared, climbing in slowly and placing her clasped hands on her lap.

"Uh... Thank you"

"You're welcome"

The drive there was mainly quiet, the silence suffocating them both but neither of them knew what to say and Stiles was too drained - emotionally and physically - to think of any conversation topics until he pulled up outside the pharmacy, turning off the engine and glancing in through the window to see a blonde pharmacist behind the counter.

"Is that your aunt?"

Sophie paled and gulped, "yeah, that's her"

As if Stiles' life couldn't get any more harder, it just went and topped itself.

"Okay" he scrubbed a tired hand down his face, "well it closes in five minutes and the earlier you take the pill the better so..."

"I don't know if I can" she admitted quietly, "what if she tells my parents?"

"Well it's either that or getting pregnant" he said bluntly, "and I know what one I would want if I was in your shoes"

"True I suppose" Sophie admitted, mentally giving herself a pep talk as she slipped out of the keep, Stiles following hot on her heels as they stepped into the small pharmacy, the bell overhead ringing obnoxiously.

The blonde woman in her mid forties glanced up, a smile gracing her lips as she spotted her niece, "Sophie, what a lovely surprise" she shot Stiles a confused look but focused back on her niece, "what are you doing out this late?"

"Uh..." She didn't know what to say, blushing a deep red and shooting Stiles a helpless look, "I um... I just need a... A p-prescription"

The woman frowned, beckoning them both forward and Stiles started to feel incredibly guilty, especially at the woman's concerned look to her niece.

"Of course honey, what do you need?"

Sophie, again, glanced over at Stiles, her eyes wide and helpless as she seemed to hunch over in shame and Stiles couldn't help but clam up, gnawing on his lip.

The woman looked between the two teenagers, watching their embarrassment and shame, immediately putting two and two together and sighing heavily, glancing over at her niece in disappointment as she let out a quiet "oh" of realisation, "I see"

They still never said anything, Sophie looking anywhere but at her aunt and Stiles scuffed his heels across the floor, shoving his hands in his pockets.

The woman, Sophie's aunt Melinda, reached under the counter to reach for a packet, holding it out for her niece, "Plan B. It's just the one pill you need to take, but it's only most effective when taken within 72 hours - 24 though preferably. How long has it been?"

Sophie continued to blush, murmuring a quiet "last night" and her aunt nodded.

"The water fountain is over there" she nodded to the back of the shop, "make sure you take plenty of water, wash it down"

Sophie grabbed the packet in mortification, scurrying down the isle to grab some water, leaving Stiles with a very concerned and suspicious aunt. Oh _great_ , just what he needed.

"Our Sophie never mentioned anything a boyfriend"

"Uh..." He glanced up, "it's kinda new"

"Having unprotected sex is very dangerous and reckless. Sophie is highly responsible, so I can only assume this is your doing?"

"Um... We just never thought about-about a condom" his face flushed as red as a tomato, "honest mistake"

"And I also assume you are aware she hasn't turned sixteen yet, aren't you?" And Stiles' eyes widened, his head whipping up, "in fact, her birthday's not till tomorrow and you look older"

He didn't know what to say to that, his jaw gaping a little - he slept with a fifteen year old, fair enough, nearly sixteen, but still... _Oh shit._

"Uh... I'm... I'm um-"

"All done" Sophie rushed out, hurrying back to them, "we should go, let you close up-"

"Wait" Melinda called out, stopping Sophie's rushed words, "I'm bound by patient confidentiality and there is no age limitations on purchasing plan B so of course I won't tell your parents, but if you would like to get checked for STI's or-"

"No" Sophie looked absolutely mortified, "oh my god no, auntie Mel-"

"I have to ask" she defended her blunt words, "your boyfriend is older than you, which means he may have had sex with other people and because you two had unprotected sex-"

"I'm clean" he insisted, "I swear"

Melinda looked at her niece, "do you trust his word?"

Sophie sent Stiles a trustworthy glance, "of course I do. So uh... We'll be going auntie Mel" taking a hold of Stiles' hand before he had time to pull out his wallet and slap down a fifty and pulled him from the shop and out to the jeep but Stiles stopped her before she could climb in, his eyes wide and heart beating wildly.

"You're not sixteen till _tomorrow?!"_

Sophie winced, "its no big deal. I'm sixteen in like, two hours. We did nothing wrong"

"Oh jeez" he sighed, collapsing back against his jeep, "as if my life couldn't get any worse"

"I'm sorry, I should've told you" she admitted, "but I really like you. And I am sixteen soon, _really_ soon, one hour and fifty eight minutes to be exact, and you're only seventeen. I didn't see the problem"

"It just would've been nice to know, that's all" he sighed, "I just assumed you were my age, if not older... Maybe it's time I get you home. It's late"

"Stiles, wait, I'm sorry" she apologised, grabbing his arm gently, "I should've been honest but I just didn't think. I liked you too much to be rational. Maybe uh... Maybe we can do something tomorrow?" She suggested, "my parents aren't back till the evening and I don't fancy spending my birthday alone"

He looked down at her, beginning to slowly calm down, "... Okay. Yeah, sure. Sounds fun" he nodded, "maybe grab something to eat and some cake"

She smiled, "that would be great. Thank you Stiles"

His smile was a little tense as he opened the door, letting her climb in as he subtly tried to check his phone, hoping to see a missed call, a new voicemail, a text, hell even a Facebook notification from Kayla but his phone was empty, nothing from her.

And now, he was truly alone.

* * *

When Lydia came to from her trance, she was in the middle of the woods, blinking against the harsh silver light of the moon as she glanced around in fear, her arms wrapping around her torso.

She had no idea how she got here - one moment she was pacing her room, fretting over Kayla and what she was going to do, and the next she was out here, alone, in the middle of the woods, with no cellphone and no way to get out.

She had experienced trances like this before - whenever she was about to find a dead body, or when someone was going to die. It creeped her the hell out, but she still stayed rooted to the spot, unsure what to do.

If there was a dead body out here, whoever or _whatever_ killed it may be here too.

Or, if someone was dying and she had the power to help them. She couldn't let that play on her mind.

With small, fearful steps, she begun walking forward, eyes flitting from side to side, clinging onto trees to stop from falling but let out a loud shriek as she felt something graze her shoulder, about to stumble into a run until she heard a familiar chuckle.

"Relax scaredy cat, just me"

She held a hand to her chest, breathing quickly as she squinted through the darkness, "K-Kayla? What are you doing here?"

Her friend smirked, her expression cold and passive, "practising"

"... Practicing what?" She asked fearfully, not liking the ice cool tone she was using.

Kayla just grinned, "it's a secret. But you'll find out soon enough"

Lydia paled, her brows furrowing, "you turned it off... You actually did it" she whispered, "you turned your emotions back off"

"And the winner is - drum roll please..." She mocked before laughing, "well done. And yes I turned them off and you know what? I already feel _so_ much better" she reached out, calmly taking a strand of Lydia's hair and twirling it around her finger, "in fact, my mistake, I don't really feel much at all" she smiled, "weren't you fed up of mopey Kayla? 'Cos I was. God, she cried so much it was kinda disgusting"

"I know you want Mia back but... But maybe there was another way to do it, one that didn't mean you giving up your... Your life"

"Sweet" she mocked, "but there wasn't. My emotions were holding me back, now I don't have that problem, so when I see that bitch Natália, I can do whatever it takes to get my daughter back. But it's cute how you care" she added, teasing her, dropping the strand of her hair to stroke a single finger along her jawline, "you must've come all the way out here because you sensed a part of me had died... How cute"

Lydia swallowed thickly, looking into her empty, callous eyes, "I don't like it... I don't like you reverting back to this person but you're my best friend... Let me help Kay, please"

"And what could you possibly do, Lydia?" She asked, "how do _you_ plan to help me get my daughters bones back so I can bury her, Hm?"

She was at a loss for words, not sure how to help just knowing she wanted to - she wasn't going to leave her friend to fight this war by herself, no way.

"... I can... I can see things you don't" she said feebly, "I can think with emotion, which means I can get into Natália's head and figure out exactly how her twisted brain works to try and hurt you. Please Kayla... You need me..."

The unspoken silent "... And I need you..." following her statement.

"Hmmm" she hummed out gently, "Lydia Martin, willing to get her hands dirty... I like it" she smirked, eyes dazzling as she gave her a slow once over look, "you know... I was thinking about that kiss earlier and how long overdue it was..." She stepped forward, inching into Lydia's personal space but Lydia didn't move, too rooted to the spot, "it was a pretty great kiss, wasn't it?"

She couldn't breathe, too focused on watching Kayla's playful but burning expression, her chest constricting as she remembered how soft her lips were, how warm, how perfectly they fit with her own and was unable to help herself as she glanced down, admiring the beautiful but cocky curve of her mouth as if upturned into a smirk, her mouth nearly grazing against her own.

"... It... It was..." Lydia whispered, her voice cracking with so much emotion as Kayla let out a small, quiet laugh, a rush of warm air tickling Lydia's lips causing her to wet them quickly with her tongue, like she was trying to taste her.

"Glad I left a lasting impression" Kayla joked, keeping her voice low as she slowly reached up, fiddling with the own buttons of her shirt before, with a smirk, began to untie them and Lydia, helpless to her flirty nature, watched her, admiring the skin on show that she had seen plenty of times before but felt, now, was seeing in a completely different light.

Oh god... Did she really miss Kayla that much, she was substituting their close friendship for something more?

"... I was going to take a dip. Cool off" Kayla grinned, shrugging off her shirt, "there's a small pond close by that not a lot of people know about. Totally secluded" her eyes shone with mischief as she tugged down her jeans, kicking them away, "care to join me?"

Lydia bit her lip, trying not to stare at her friend but Kayla chuckled, stepping forward to stroke a gentle hand through her hair, brushing the wild stands away, "don't be shy. Look all you want"

"Um... I-I shouldn't, I should probably get back..."

Kayla's smile was playful, not looking de-jointed by that,"oh well, you're loss" she shot Lydia a wink, turning around to stroll towards the small pond in the distance and Lydia watched her go, feeling like she was losing her all over again.

"Kayla, wait" she called out, hurrying to catch up with her, "I uh... I don't like you when you're emotionless. You're cruel and selfish and downright rude"

"Hmmm" her friend smirked, "great dirty talk Lyds, really gets me in the mood"

"But-" she emphasised, "-you're still my best friend. You're still special to me"

"Adorable" Kayla deadpanned with a smile.

"I just... Don't want to lose you again" she admitted, reaching out for her hand, "i know you're doing this for Mia and I understand, but please don't leave me again. _Please_ " she begged, "out of everyone and everything, you're the person I bonded with the most. Someone who I always feel, right here" with her free hand she reached up, holding her chest where her beating heart was below her hand, "please Kay..."

"... I'll try" Kayla said slowly, "but feeling this way, feeling nothing is what I need right now. And you know what?" She smirked, "everyone thought newly risen from the dead Kayla was bad... Oh boy..." Her eyes flashed green and Lydia gulped, the hairs on the back of her neck rising in warning, "they've seen _**nothing**_ yet"

 **A/N) I'm so sorry it took a little longer but LOOOK another long chapter To make up for it haha yayyyy so what do y'all think? Lmao poor Isaac in the bad books again and Omg Kayla and Dylan interacting new fav thing, and omg stiles is so broken and that talk and OMG lmao him and Sophie (y'all gonna kill me) and then Lydia... Oh god, fans self haha hope you all enjoyed and please please review they mean the world And really help, I really appreciate them, see** **yall soon**


	47. Chapter 47 - Birthday cake

**Disclaimer: teen wolf is not mine in any way, shape or form :) I go back to uni tomorrow and I still have two guided studies to do before then and it's like nearly 2.30am so a little shorter than normal but something is better than nothing right? Lol a massive thankful shoutout to ShiannetheFangirlofEverything, x XRoweenaJAugistineX x, BeccaSco, Ashleymcd25, linda96, Senjaninja, peachy48, guest (lmao Ikr), hope (thank you awww) and gimmeoreas (I'm so happy you love the series, thank you :)) for reviewing you all rock, enjoy lol**

"What?"

He was totally dumbfounded, staring down at Lydia like she had two heads, too surprised, too shocked, to say much else.

"I'm sorry" she murmured, "but I saw it myself. She was so... Cold. Completely distant. Maybe even worse than last time"

He deflated, his shoulders sagging in heartbreak, "that's what she meant last night. About having to do something and everyone will hate her for it... I never realised... Never connected the dots and it was right in front of me" he muttered, shaking his head, "dammit"

"Wait... She was here?" Lydia asked, "what else did you talk about?"

He sent her a guilty look, "yeah she um... She just kinda turned up. I was um... I uh... I didn't expect her otherwise I wouldn't have... I wouldn't..."

Lydia's look was suspicious and borderline annoyed as she cocked a brow and shot a quick glance up his stairs, sighing loudly, "let me guess, she walked in on you and that girl - whose name I don't care to know - going at it, please do correct me if I'm wrong"

He understood her snark and bitterness, he would act the same if he was in her position but her sharp words still hurt, an ache blossoming in his chest.

He looked down, his guilt shining around him like a Beacon and Lydia scoffed, "seriously Stiles? After she just told you she got raped you go and get it on with someone else? Are you _kidding_ me?!"

He was so desperately wanting to defend himself but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He was the one in the wrong here and he deserved her anger, he deserved that and much more.

"I-I'm sorry" he whispered, "I am, I'm sorry she ever had to see that. A week ago I wouldn't have even thought about being with someone else, but I... I don't know what the hell I'm feeling Lydia. I'm so damn confused"

"Well that's _great_ " she snapped in irritation, "while you're here busying about with some stranger being all 'confused', Kayla has turned dark side. _Again_ " she exclaimed, "and this time it's worse... She'll do _anything_ to get her daughter back. And I mean _**anything**_ " she emphasised, wanting to get it into Stiles' thick head just how serious this situation is, "before, when she first came back, she was having fun. Enjoying herself. Loving the chaos she caused. But now she's out for blood. Natália's specifically but I have a feeling she won't mind killing anyone that gets in her way. Including us" his eyebrows shot up, a disturbed look twisting his features, "her maternal instinct is so strong she possibly just gave up her chance at living a normal life for her baby. God help anyone that stands in the way of that"

Stiles twisted his mouth in on itself, trying to stop from breaking down as he scrubbed an exhausted hand down his face, "I should've stopped her"

And for a moment, he was sure Lydia looked guilty.

"No one was going to change her mind. No one" she emphasised, "all we can do now is hope for the best and pray to god she comes back from this"

* * *

"Okay, I take it back" Dylan muttered as yet another unconscious body fell to his feet, "I _definitely_ liked the old you better"

His sister shot him an eerily empty look, her expression passive, "I could've killed them yet I haven't. What more do you want?"

... 'My sister back' he almost whispered but just waved her on to carry on her interrogations, flinching a little at her scathing look, no affection or emotion in her green eyes that once, all those years ago, held so much life and vibrancy.

He was willing to help her because he owed her, he was willing to stick by her side because this was what family did but he had just watched her torture and knock unconscious well over a dozen innocent people that she suspected had crossed paths with Natália, trying to get through their possible compulsion. There was no hesitation, nor remorse in her actions. Burning, cutting or trying to bleed answers from them but so far there was nothing. No clues to where Natália was.

And he could see her getting irritated and antsy, taking it out on her victims. The last one, some middle aged man who worked at Beacon Hills largest bank, was barely breathing, his left lung collapsing. He wanted to help him, to try and get Kayla to ease off, but he had a feeling she wouldn't be best pleased with his interfering and possibly make him another one of her victims.

"And last but not least we have... _Monica_ " she announced, leaning down to grab the woman's name tag, "boring name by the way"

"Please... Please-"

He watched as his sister just rolled her eyes, grabbing the woman's hair and dragging her over to the chair in the middle of the empty industrial concrete building they were in, voices echoing hauntingly around the large space, "so, spill"

Dylan stepped forward next to his sister, shooting her a nervous look but she was solely focused on the black haired woman, her eyes drilling holes through her skull.

"I... I don't-"

"If you say 'I don't know' then I will be very pissed off" Kayla cut her of coldly, her voice dripping with venom, "and I will start pulling your teeth out one by one" and she finally smiled, "then I can carve the name of my dentist into your skin - she works _miracles_ "

The woman, Monica, flinched, tears track tracing down her cheeks and Dylan lightly grasped Kayla's elbow, leaning down to whisper in her ear, "Uh Kez... Ease of the throttle a bit?"

She shot him an annoyed look, flinching her elbow from his grasp, "if you have a problem with my methods then get out" she said simply, "and _don't_ tell me what to do"

He gulped at her ice cold, unwavering tone, nodding solemnly and letting her carry on despite his gut churning... He had seen Natália be this ruthless before and that's what drove him away from her clutches - her evil streak. Only now, his little sister was the one that took that crown, her dark side out full force.

"Let's start afresh" Kayla bargained, picking up a pair or pliers and circling the crying woman, "have you seen the woman I described to them?" She waved her arm out to the unconscious bodies slung carelessly to the floor just feet from them and Dylan listened hard, checking that all their hearts were still, indeed, beating and blew out a quiet sigh in relief that they were all still alive, "now dear, think hard" she advised, stopping behind Monica and yanking her head back, smirking as she let out a steal of terror, "this is the last time I ask nicely"

"I-I can't think I-I don't know, maybe... Maybe not-"

"Sweetheart" Kayla mocked, "that ain't good enough" and without hesitation or remorse she plunged the pliers deep into her mouth, holding Monica's squirming body as still as she could as she tugged on one of her back molers hard enough that Dylan heard the ear splitting squelch and crack as the tooth was forcefully extracted, Monica's wail of agony so loud and full of terror, Dylan winced and looked away.

"Don't worry, this tooth needed a filling anyway" Kayla said carelessly, letting the woman go so she could cry and spit out the blood, shaking from shock, "so, round two. Have you seen her?"

Monica was crying but nodded before Kayla could grab at her again, trying to speak through the pain.

"Well?" Kayla demanded impatiently, "tell me before I make you need dentures before the age of forty"

"Kez... Give her time" he suggested, glancing down at Monica, "do you need some water?"

His sister's nostrils flared, "back the fuck off Dylan or so help me god I will do everything that I did to them, to you" she warned, shooting him a filthy look before facing Monica, "Tell. Me. Now"

The woman shuddered, wiping away the blood from her mouth with shaky fingers before looking up at Kayla, flinching at her angered look, "I-I served her at the-at the restaurant... I think it's-it's who you're looking f-for. She had a-there was a tattoo on her-her neck" Kayla gave her a sharp nod, telling her she was right, "I noticed her keycard. It had a-a logo on it. I-I can't remember what but I think-I think it was blue"

"Think?!"

Monica flinched, raising her hands to her face in some sort of pathetic attempt to protect herself from Kayla's rage, "It-It was d-definitely blue"

A cold, calculating smile framed Kayla's lips as she winked at the woman, "perfect. Thank you" and without so much as another look she went to sweep away but Dylan grabbed her arm, his eyes wide.

"Kez, wait" he murmured, ignoring the flash of her eyes in irritation, "what about all these people? They could die or-or remember what you look like" her carelessness and lack of clean up seriously shocking him - it really was like she honestly didn't care about anything except her plan of revenge.

She rolled her eyes, "you deal with it, I've got more important things to be doing with my time"

She warned him... She told him that emotionless Kayla was a force to be reckoned with, a selfish, egotistic, angry, bitter mess with absolutely no capacity to care about anyone but he didn't realise how bad it would get until he saw her now, her eyes dull to it all.

"Are you seriously just going to walk away?"

Her face pinched in anger, a low dangerous growl escaping her lips, "I need to get my daughter back. If you still want to help me, meet up with me later" and with that she stalked away, no guilt or remorse in sight.

"Dammit Kay" he cursed under his breath, hurrying to Monica to pass her some tissues to stop the bleeding and to try and calm her down but it was futile, she was terrified and no matter what he did, she wouldn't relax.

So he did what he had to do to protect his sister.

He took away their memories. Everyone's. It was draining and physically torturous, all his energy being funnelled into manipulating their minds so when they woke they would have no memory of what, or who, did this.

Taking memories was primarily an alphas job but he had a few tricks up his sleeve - his family, the Hale's, knew how to do a lot of things. This was one of them. His dad had taught him just shy of his fifteenth birthday.

Then he peeled his phone from his pocket, Immediately dialling 911.

"Hello? Yeah I need an ambulance" he cast another look to the unconscious figures, "actually" he corrected with a wince, "make that a few"

* * *

His head was all over the place, unable to think properly but he knew he promised he would take her out and from now on he didn't want to break his promise.

"Hey" Sophie greeted cheerfully, sliding into his jeep, her long blonde hair bouncing around her shoulders as she dressed herself up in a deep red skater dress and matching heels, red lipstick to match and he was almost certain she did it to grab his attention, especially after what had happened last night.

His jaw dropped a little, gulping nervously, "uh... H-Hey" he stuttered out, "um..." He didn't know what to say - you look pretty? Gorgeous dress? He just didn't have a clue so just settled in wishing her a happy birthday, passing her a card.

"Aw, thank you" she beamed, cheeks an adorable rosy pink and he coughed awkwardly, starting the engine and driving away as she opened the card, squinting to read his rushed messy handwriting.

"I uh... I didn't know where you wanted to go but there's a nice cafe just down the road if that sounds okay?"

"Sounds perfect" she smiled, definitely pulling out all the stops and trying to be more confident and direct, "and uh... I'm sorry about what happened last night. I know it's probably the last thing you want to talk about but I just needed to say it"

The back of his throat starting aching in sadness, his eyes clouding over with regret, "it's uh.. It's not your fault. I didn't expect Kayla to come over either"

She sensed his turmoil, watching his calm expression begin to waver, "anyway-" she smiled brightly, trying anything to distract him, to keep his attention on her because after last night she knew he was more madly in love with his ex than she thought and didn't want to let go of the first guy she actually liked, well... Ever, "-what do you think?" He cocked a brow, sending her a confused look, "is the dress too much?"

"N-No, not at all, you look... Good" he supplied and winced as her face fell a little, "I mean you look great, _really_ great. Red suits you"

They chatted a little on the drive there, Sophie more so as Stiles tried to stay focused but his mind was whirling, Lydia's sharp and blunt words carving their way through his brain. He knew he was doing the wrong thing, but he didn't know how to get out of the situation he had put himself in, turmoil twisting through his veins.

They parked on the street directly outside the cafe, Stiles almost head butting the sidewalk but he stabilised himself, waiting for Sophie to appear by his side before guiding her to the cute little cafe called 'sunflowers', the inside painted a bright vivid yellow with sunflowers pinned to the walls, paintings too, but they served good cake and he did promise her cake after all.

"Wow..." She mumbled in surprise, almost blinded by the amount of yellow on sight, "not your type of place, I assume"

He shrugged, quirking his lips, "the cake here is to die for" he nodded over to a table of two in the middle of the room, immediately taking her hand to gently pull her over, throwing himself back into the rickety chair as she smoothed out her dress, running her hands down the back to flatten it out before sitting, her red painted lips being pulled into a smile.

"You uh... You really do look beautiful, just so you know" he said, "sorry I was distracted on the car ride. I promise, you have my full and undivided attention"

Because he needed an hour to take his mind of things and she was the perfect distraction.

They talked about irrelevant things, making idle conversation - first about her birthday, what she got, when her parents were coming home then she asked about his interests, how he got on at school and how he enjoyed lacrosse.

It was simple, normal conversation. He couldn't remember the last time he talked about something that didn't involve the supernatural or death.

"-it was the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen" he finished with, holding back a laugh, "I mean, who even _thinks_ about doing that?"

She was holding back her laughs, pressing a napkin against her mouth, "oh my god, that's the funniest thing I've heard this year"

"A lot of things happen in Beacon hills, the weird and the bizarre, but seeing a fully grown naked man claim he's Jesus by jumping off the roof of Walmart tops it"

She wiped at the corners of her mouth, her laughing dying down, "wow... Seriously, all that laughing just gave me a stitch"

He smiled, pushing away his empty plate, "so, did the cake meet its high standards?"

"Oh most definitely" she was still eating, her fork disappearing into the double chocolate cake to scoop some into her mouth, "it's delicious"

"I'm glad. Don't want the birthday girl to have terrible cake, that's a crime"

The chime of bells overhead the door rung and for some reason he glanced past Sophie's shoulder, not knowing what compelled him to do such a thing, but he did and immediately his eyes widened, throwing himself down in his seat.

Sophie almost choked on the cake, rubbing at the column of her throat as she sent him a confused look, "what? What happened?"

He lifted the menu, hiding his face behind it, "uh... Nothing. Nothing. It's all chill"

Sophie frowned, glancing behind her to see what the drama was all about but all she saw was three girls walking in, placing their orders at the counter.

"Oh. Right" she murmured sadly, putting two and two together, "you're ashamed to be seen with me"

"What? No" he denied even though she knew he was lying, why else would he hide? "I just... They're um... They're my fri-"

"Stiles?" Kira's voice called out in confusion, frowning as she squinted over to him, "what are you doing?"

He sighed heavily, cheeks flushing a deep pink as he realised he had been caught, slowly pushing himself up in his seat and Sophie sent him an apologetic look, realising what he had been about to say - they were his friends... _His and Kayla's friends._

Kira bounced over, dragging a very reluctant Lydia and an unamused Malia, the latters giving him manic death glares.

"Uh... Just y'know, having cake" he supplied, watching Sophie bite her lip as she felt the awkwardness, "um... You?"

Kira smiled, "same. They have great cake here" it was then she realised he had company, her eyes widening in surprise, "oh, we're sorry to interrupt"

"I'm not" Malia cut in, folding her arms as her eyes flashed a dangerous blue.

Kira elbowed her, plastering a wide smile on her face to distract Sophie away from her two friends glares, holding out her hand, "hi, I'm Kira... And you must be Sophie?"

She accepted her handshake, nodding silently.

"It's nice to meet you"

Malia leaned down, sniffing her hair, "you reek of nerves"

Stiles covered his face with his hand, totally ready to have a breakdown any moment now as Kira laughed nervously, pulling Malia away from the slightly terrified blonde girl, "sorry about her, she's um... Weird"

But Stiles couldn't hide for long, peaking up as he felt a direct glare on him and found Lydia's moss green eyes trained on him, her expression not only quietly fuming but also highly disappointed.

He looked away because he knew, he knew, he was in the wrong.

"It's okay" Sophie smiled, "uh... You must be Stiles' friends?"

Lydia's lips thinned, her jaw clenched and tone clipped as she corrected her.

" _Kayla's_ friends"

He flinched because, ow... Savage as fuck.

Sophie's face fell, "right... Uh..."

"Aw, is it your birthday?" Kira desperately tried to regain control of the situation, wishing she never noticed Stiles on his 'date' as she glanced at a birthday card sticking out of her bag, "happy eighteenth"

Sophie flushed, "oh um... I've actually just turned sixteen"

Almost immediately whatever non awkward energy there was in the room got sucked out if it, Kira, Malia and Lydia's eyes widening as Stiles gaped.

"Oh um... Heh..." He flew to his feet, desperate to get the hell out of dodge, accidentally knocking over his chair as he did so, "we should probably get going-"

"You _slept_ with a _fifteen year old?!"_ Lydia hissed, " _Stiles Stilinski-"_

But her loud shriek got cut off by the blaring sirens of a group of ambulances racing down the street, one after another, and he paled, the colour draining from his face.

He had a bad feeling... No, he had a _terrible_ feeling.

He met Lydia's gaze again, similar thoughts racing through their heads.

This was Kayla's doing. They just _knew_.

"Um... Stay here" he said to Sophie, "I'll be right back" pressing a fleeting kiss to the top of her head before dodging the chairs and tables in his haste to escape the cafe, flinging the door open and falling out into the street, watching the last of the ambulances speed away.

"This is _your_ fault" Lydia was furious, following his footsteps as she poked his back, misdirecting the blame, she knew, but it was easier to blame him than herself because she could've stopped it if she didn't fall for Kayla's softness, letting her sweet talk her and kiss her, wrapping her around her little finger, "you _know_ you're the only one she listens to and we had her back. I had my _best friend_ back and you ruined it with _**her**_ " she snapped, flinging an arm out to the cafe, "if you just stuck by her like you promised then she wouldn't have to resort to _this_ "

"You don't know that" he defended himself weakly, "she still could've done this. She still could've turned her emotions off"

"The likelihood would've seriously decreased" Lydia exclaimed, "She _finally_ felt like she could have a normal life with you and then you wanted _simple_ " she spat bitterly, "you wanted _easy_ well guess what Stiles? Life isn't easy, nor is love. And she _loved_ you" she added, "she loved you so much she _died_ for you and I can't fathom why" she shook her head, scoffing under her breath, " _why_ she loved you so much because from where I'm standing, you aren't worth it"

He fell back a step, tears rushing to his eyes.

He messed up, he knew that, but he still loved her. He wanted to make things right. Was it really too late?

"Lydia..."

But the strawberry blonde was on the verge of tears, shaking her head wildly, " _stop it_ Stiles. You ruined my best friend. _**You**_ did. So stop making things worse and just go back to little miss squeaky clean in there" she dabbed at her eyes, stopping her tears before they could fall, " _go_ "

He flinched at her sharp tone, his heart hammering in his chest - but he needed to explain himself, to get his point across... He needed her to understand.

"I never stopped loving her" he whispered, "not for a single moment. Even after everything... But... But I had a weak moment. I messed up. I know that, I do. I should've been there, protected her from... From what happened..." Lydia's eyes flashed with hurt, flinching at the reminder of what her best friend had been through, "and I'm going to feel guilty about that for the rest of my life until the day I die, but please... Don't make me let her go. I can't do that. I can't Lydia"

Lydia sniffed, her steady gaze burning holes through him, "if you love her, you will" she muttered, "you were once the best thing for her, now you're the worst. So consider this a warning..." She said lowly, "come near Kayla again, or try and interfere with her life, me and you will be having a lot more than words. _I'll_ fix her" she proclaimed, "I'll help her in ways you couldn't Stiles and, unlike you, _I_ won't walk away"

He had never fallen out with Lydia like this before - they had their spats, but nothing on this level. For the first time, Stiles truly felt like Lydia absolutely _loathed_ him.

"... Sorry to interrupt" a deep voice cut into their conversation, urgency layered in its tone, "but I'm guessing you're Lydia Martin?"

Lydia didn't even bother sending Stiles another look as she turned away from him, looking up into the strangers brown eyes - eyes that were so familiar somehow.

"Yes?"

He breathed a sigh of relief, "thank god. You're the first redhead I found so I just assumed"

But Stiles stepped forward next to Lydia, ignoring her annoyed look as he gaped at the teenager in front of him, his face all too familiar.

"But... No... That's impossible..." He breathed out, blinking quickly to check he wasn't losing his mind.

The teenager frowned, looking down at Lydia, "I'm Dylan. Dylan Hale" he introduced and Lydia almost fainted with shock, now seeing the resemblance to Kayla - same prominent jawline, same lightly bronzed skin, their Mexican-puerto Rican heritage shining through, same shape eyes, "and I know, supposed to be dead, but let's skip all that and get to the important stuff" he claimed, "I thought I could control her, keep her at least a little sane but this revenge path she's on... It's consuming her. She's ice cold and I... I don't know what to do" he admitted sadly, "but she mentioned your name before, said you were the one person that understood so can you help me? Can you help me bring my sister back home?"

She was shocked, her head whirling but all that didn't matter - Kayla needed her help and she was not going to be another person to let her down, no way.

She turned to Stiles, noticing his kicked puppy dog expression but didn't let that waver her resolve, jerking her head back to the cafe.

"I've got this under control" she said sternly, "go back to your girlfriend and _damn well_ stay there"

 **A/n) oooooohhhhhh omggggg badass bitch Kayla is going OFF THE RAILS BC NO ONE HURTS HER BABY and whoooops poor stiles I'm being bad to him but Lydia is backing up her bae Kayla because BFF goals right lol haha hope you all enjoyed and please please review, it means the world and need them to get me through my almost probably all nighter to finish uni work for today because I wrote this chaoter first, my priorities are in order lol**

 **Also SO EXCITED ABOUT DYLAN AND LYDIA... Just saying haha**

 **ALSO: my tumblr is fanficanatic-tw head on over to see edits, videos, inspirations, and ask questions** **lol**


	48. Chapter 48 - Rip through time itself

**Disclaimer: teen wolf is not mine in any way shape or form (cries) anywayssssss all of you lovely people are so awesome, thank you for your continued support and a massive shoutout to Ashleymcd25, chelsnichole12, x XRoweenaJAugustineX x, BeccaSco, TheMysteriousPerson -0-'-0, peachy48, Senjaninja, linda96, Unmajestically, stilesxoxo xander hope (thank you) for reviewing you're all amaiznf hope you enjoy X**

 _She was so cold._

 _Every inch of her was screaming in agony, ice prickling her very bones. Her breath fogged up the air around her, puffs of white smoke escaping her dry shivering lips as she limped forward, pushing herself through the biting temperatures that seized her entire body, making it lethargic and sluggish._

 _She was so damn cold, aching to feel the reassuring warmth of someone's arms around her, someone to comfort her but no one would come. She was all alone, forced to face the bitter solitude by herself, forever._

 _"Oh little Hale-" that voice echoed all around her, bouncing off the dark walls enclosing around her, frost flakes forming on the bricks, "-if you were alive right now, your body would be shutting down, giving up. But not now. No no" she could feel his smirk in his gleeful, sadistic tone, "now you can feel the agonising pain of freezing to death without actually dying... Is it painful?"_

 _She ignored him, determinedly pulling herself forward but her legs were weak and stiff, her muscles screaming in torturous agony as she collapsed against the wall, sliding down it and collapsing in a heap on the icy floor, her body seizing with violent shakes._

 _"I can't imagine it would be very pleasant" his voice seemed to echo inside her head as well, no escape from him, "but I like the cold. It's where I feel... Alive. Which is funny seeming how I'm dead because of you"_

 _Anger creeped into his voice, spilling out from the cracks in his usual calm facade as she pulled her legs to her chest, sitting there in agony as her gaze swept from side to side, trying to catch a glimpse of him but he was hiding in the shadows, tormenting her._

 _"My dear sweet little Hale... Don't you have anything to say?"_

 _There was nothing to say. And anyway, even if she wanted to she was pretty sure her tongue was sticking to the roof of her mouth, ice spreading across her skin like wildfire._

 _"Well this is no fun" he appeared, seeming to materialise from the wall opposite her, a playful smirk dancing on his lips, "are you in too much pain?"_

 _Her agony was his entertainment and she wasn't going to give it to him, despite how hard it was to remain quiet, sitting there writhing in quiet anguish._

 _The smirk dropped from his lips, a knowing glint forming on his mouth, "you can't remain stubborn forever little Hale. I'm going to break you... In every way possible..." He started taking slow menacing steps forwards, his hands clasped behind his back, "... Until you're begging me to stop..."_

 _She could feel the ice working its way inside her, like it was seeping beneath her skin but she still never said anything, staring into his cold dead eyes, eyes the replica of those she used to love._

 _"... This is why you're my favourite" he seemed to let go of his anger, choosing to find amusement in her stubbornness, "so hard headed, so adamant" he was now only two steps in front of her, unclasping his hands slowly and stretching them out, "which is going to make breaking you even more sweet..."_

 _She tried to flinch away as he kneeled down, reaching for her face but she was aching with cold, frozen to the spot as he grabbed her cheeks and forced her to look at him, his eyes glinting with manic eagerness._

 _"And it will happen. I have forever to do it" he pushed himself forwards, his nose grazing along her jaw line as he inhaled her sweet, intoxicating scent, feeling her fear and unease which he fed off, even down here, "you're mine forever... There is no escape..." She screwed her eyes shut, paralysed, too scared and repulsed to attempt to move as his tongue swept out up her cheek, swiping the ice crystals away from her frost bitten skin and he hummed at her flavour, chuckling to himself._

 _"Did you hear that Hale?" He asked softly, tilting her chin up and squeezing her cheeks tighter, forcing her eyes wide open so she was enveloped in pitch black, "you're all mine. For all eternity, until the end of time. You can't ever get rid of me... Not ever... And I'm going to have so much fun with you little Hale... So... Much... **Fun**..."_

"Can I help?"

She was pulled back to reality with a sharp tug, her mind wandering and getting lost in memories she tried to bury deep, to forget but sometimes it was easier said than done. Hundreds of years worth of memories were rattling about inside her head and no matter how hard she tried to ignore them, they still leaked through the cracks in the walls she had built up. Forever imprinted.

"I need to see your surveillance footage" she demanded coolly, "and customer records"

The guy behind the reception desk just frowned, "I'm sorry, but those are for staff onl-"

She grabbed a fistful of his hair, slamming his head into the desk below and knocking him out, not even giving him a chance to explain.

She had figured out exactly what hotel Natália was staying at - the blue crown hotel, the logo being pretty much exactly as spelt out. A blue crown. And Kayla was not waiting any longer. She was going to find Natália and she was going to rip her apart.

No holding back. Not this time.

She strode around the desk, pushing the guy from his chair so he collapsed to the ground but she didn't even spare him a concerned glance, clicking at the computer several times until she found the video feed she was looking for, skipping back until she spotted her.

Natália.

She paused the video, a deep growl being unearthed from deep within, a blazing fury soaring through her veins.

She was so close this entire time. Just miles from her, waiting, planning, thinking... The bitch that ruined her daughter's peace was within arms reach and Kayla was not going to let her slip through her fingers.

She grabbed the log in book, skimming her finger down the list of names until she came to the scrawl Natália had signed her name in, seeing that she said she was in room 12, ground floor, and didn't even wait to compose her, just stormed down the hallway, pushing past a group of tourists that got in her way and found door 12, the gold engraved numbers shining in the orange light overhead.

"Knock knock" she said quietly, raising her foot and kicking out at the door so harshly the wood splintered, the door flinging back and hitting the opposite wall as she stormed in, guns blazing but all she found was a messy room, clothes strewn across the bed and the floor, maps of Beacon hills and articles pinned the wall and written on the wall with fresh blood was:

 _ **'You're too late : )'**_

She had the nerve, the audacity to taunt her? Her?

A noise of frustration escaped her throat, furiously grabbing a wooden chair from the end of the bed and throwing it at the blood painted walls, her anger red hot and untameable.

She wanted a fight?

Well... She was about to fucking get one.

* * *

"-and now this has happened and it's all my fault" he finished with glumly, "I had so many chances to fix things and I never. I should've seen this coming a mile away. Kayla loves her daughter, she loves her so much Scott, of course she would do something like this for her. Why didn't I see it? It should've been obvious to me. I'm supposed to be the-the person that knows her best, and I didn't predict this"

"Stiles" Scott said softly, "this isn't your fault. Lydia was just acting out, she doesn't mean it"

"She does mean it" Stiles whispered brokenly, "and she's right. About everything"

"No she's not" his best friend shook his head, reaching out to cup his shoulder as he comforted him at home, "am I saying that it might've been a bit premature to start sleeping with someone else? Yes. The Stiles I know wouldn't do that but you did it out of hurt. You were confused. These things happen, you made a mistake. One mistake Stiles. Do you like Sophie?"

Stiles shrugged, his eyes finding their way to the floor, "for a hot second, yeah"

"Do you still?"

He shrugged again, "I don't know. She listened to me for hours, no one's done that in so long. And she doesn't know about any of this crap. That there's such a thing as werewolves, that I was possessed by an ancient Japanese spirit, that Kayla was in hell for the better part of three centuries - she doesn't know anything and I... I like how I feel around her. Free" he admitted, "like a normal person... Is that bad?"

Scott smiled gently, "no, it's not bad"

"Then why do I feel so guilty?" He whispered, throwing himself down to sit on his bed, running his hands through his hair, "I love Kayla, god I love her so much and I only wanted us to take a break. To cool our jets from each other until she was more stable... I didn't want this. I didn't want this hate between us, everything just escalated..."

"You... Weren't... Going to break up with her?"

Stiles shook his head, "not in that way. Not for good, never for good. I promised I would be there for her, just not in a relationship way. Which is ironic seeming how I was the one that pushed her and pushed her to love me" he laughed bitterly, "her stubbornness, my anger... It just collided and this was the result"

Scott sighed heavily, sitting down next to him, "she needs to know that. She needs to know that you didn't want this to happen"

"It's too late for that Scottie" Stiles murmured, "I missed my chance. Instead of helping her, or making her realise that I never intended for us to drift apart, I was here screwing a stranger" he exhaled a loud breath, his chest still hurting with deep sadness.

"It's okay to be selfish every once in a while"

"... Coming from the most unselfish guy... _Ever_ "

Scott's lips quirked, "we'll get her back. We have her brother now" Stiles was still shocked at that reminder - what was it with Hales and coming back from the dead? - but wasn't complaining. Kayla didn't have much family and Dylan she cared about, maybe having him back was what they needed to remind Kayla she had a life here, people that loved her...

"Lydia said it was worse than last time. That _she_ was worse than last time" he elaborated, "what if after everything she's been through since coming back... What if it's pushed her too far?"

Scott paled, an uncomfortable expression crossing his face, "you mean um... You mean the rape?"

He nodded solemnly, "she was in pieces about it. And I saw the bruises Scott. Nearly every inch of her had their markings on her, I mean for god sake she could hardly even walk" he exclaimed, "they didn't just r-rape her, they caused a part of her to wither away. All three of them. And I'm glad she killed one, I am. He deserved that and a whole lot worse. But... But it was bad, and I can't even begin to imagine how she could try and get her mind around a trauma like that"

"Yeah... It was bad" Scott agreed, dipping his head, "I've never seen her so... Broken. So desperate for... Understanding, I guess"

"And she went to you" Stiles whispered sadly, "she crawled her way to you, in agony, half naked, because she knew, in absolute certainty, that you wouldn't turn your back on her. That you would open the door and let her in and care for her... Something she didn't know if I would do or not" he explained, "Kayla can be blamed for a lot of things since coming back, but her losing her faith and trust in me isn't one of them. I did that. I did" he pointed to his chest, giving Scott no room to argue, "and now I'm apparently dating someone else, something that wasn't meant to happen, and she's given up. God... When did things get so damn complicated?"

"I don't know Stiles..."

"But we were happy" he claimed, cocking a brow at Scott, "before all this happened, before she died for me I... We were really good together, weren't we?"

Scott smiled gently, repeating the words Stiles had whispered back to her in the mere seconds before she succumbed to death in his arms.

"The best"

That reassured him slightly as he tried to calm himself down, to think of a way to fix this mess that he was beginning to think was unfixable.

"Maybe you need to have a talk with Sophie" Scott suggested, "if that's what you want. Let her down easy"

"Yeah... Maybe" he agreed, knowing it was for the best but still being a little sad over the thought - he may not be in love with her, he may not even be attracted to her that much anymore, but she a distraction. He liked how he felt around her and he wasn't quite sure if he was ready to let that go, even if he knew he had to.

So he called her over, preparing himself to tell her that he was sorry, that she was a great girl and someone would definitely fall in love with her one day but that could not be him because he was still in love with his ex, but when she let herself in and appeared in his bedroom, all innocent and wide eyed, a nervous glint shining in her soft blue gaze he just clammed up.

She smiled gently, asking if he was okay from earlier. That she didn't want him to be upset over what his friends said. That he didn't deserve their anger. She stroked his hair and promised that she understood and Stiles found himself staring at her, feeling that pull to normalcy.

Not to her, but to normal.

So instead of telling her everything he promised himself he would tell her, he let her stay. He let her back into his bed because he was distraught and hurt and needed just another moment to himself, another moment to savour normalcy before he did everything he could to get Kayla back.

 **(Warnings - non Stayla smut, don't have to read if you don't wanna obviously ha)**

At first he took it slow, kissing her, undressing her, caressing her body but then he remembered just how crushed he was, how badly his life was falling apart and instead of going down on her like he intended, feeling her getting all hot and bothered, tasting her sweet arousal, he simply started pumping his fingers inside her, desperate to get her wet enough that he could continue with his distraction.

She was moaning, still a little shy in his presence as she flushed but she never shied away from him, nor did she look away as he undressed him, kneeling between her legs as he quickly stroked his cock as it grew and hardened, a throaty growl being unearthed from deep within.

"Wait um-" her face was beaded with sweat, glancing between his cock and his face, "uh... W-What about some c-condoms?"

Shit he didn't have any.

"I'll pull out" he offered, but she still looked doubtful, a nervous look twisting her features, "I like hitting it raw anyway. So much hotter" he slinked down, hovering above her, "so can I do that?"

She but her lip but after a few doubtful seconds eventually nodded, not really liking the idea of having no line of defence but she ached to feel him on top of her so let it go, curling her fingers around his shoulders.

His cock was throbbing with need and pleasure as it sunk between her wet folds and into her sweet, tight pussy. Maybe he was so turned on because he was the first person to ever taste her, or be inside her, that she was so innocent and pure and here he was, on top of her as his cock slowly chipped away at her innocence, his mouth framing around dirty words he whispered to her to make her blush.

"Your pussy is so damn wet" he grunted, kissing the side of her neck as his slow strokes pushed inside her, "I bet you could take more of my cock"

"Y-You think?" She sounded nervous so he pulled back, pressing his sweaty forehead against hers.

"For sure" he mumbled, "and I can imagine it'll feel real fucking good for you too"

She smiled shyly but eventually nodded, "o-okay then"

He grinned, pressing a searing hot, passionate kiss to her lips as he swivelled his hips a little deeper, hitting parts of her he had never explored, letting out a breathy groan, "oh shit... Oh wow..."

She moaned quietly, dropping her hands from his shoulders and curling her fingers around his hips, "you're so... You're so big... Oh... Oh..."

"You like my thick cock, Hm?" He whispered, nuzzling against the side of her neck as he nibbled on her ear lobe.

She bit her lip in pleasure but let out a breathless sound of agreement, her entire body curling with fiery need.

"I know we said about pulling out... But God..." He grunted, loving hitting it raw, feeling her sweet warm cum around him, the tightness of her walls, it was all too much, "I want to cream up your pussy so fucking badly"

She gasped, holding on tighter to his hips as he rocked against her, "h-how?"

Her innocence was a breath of fresh air and now Stiles was the one in the drivers seat with all the knowledge and experience to make him a master - oh how times have changed.

He smirked, peppering more kisses to her neck, "by pumping my load inside you" he whispered, his voice dark with lust as he subtlety increased his speed, not liking this slow thrusting that was taking place, "and trust me babe, it's going to be a big fucking load"

She bit her lip, holding on to his hips to try and deter him from going too deep, nerves twisting her gut because she really didn't want to have to go back to her aunts pharmacy and ask for another prescription, that was a horrible thought, but she wanted to make Stiles happy - hence why she was with him, even on her birthday. Her parents due back in an hour.

She gulped but nodded, knowing she was probably going to regret this but let him carry on, leaning down to encase her body beneath his as she continued to speed up, his lips moving against her ear as he asked her to talk dirty to him.

She didn't even know where to start, let alone if she could even say it without stuttering. Listening to him speak all dominant and foul mouthed was still a shock, still making her blush, but her saying the things he had said? She didn't know if she could.

"Uh..."

He pulled back, glancing down at her, "okay then uh... Repeat after me okay?" He was willing to coach her because he needed to get off and get off fast - this sex was really doing nothing for him. Like sure it was good, he liked feeling a wet pussy around him, but it wasn't enough to push him over the edge, he was too distracted, his mind in turmoil.

She nodded, still clinging to his hips so he couldn't thrust too deep despite how bad he was aching to fill every inch of her up, "tell me my fat cock is turning you on"

Her cheeks were a fiery red but she cleared her throat, "um... You're um... Your cock is turning me on"

He shook his head, still moving above her, "fat cock" he corrected, "not every guy has such a thick cock babe, you're pretty blessed"

"Uh... Okay you're um... You're fat cock is turning me on"

He groaned in response, jerking his hips, "tell me how wet you are"

"Tell me how wet you are"

He stopped briefly, furrowing his brows, "no um... Say how wet you are"

"Oh" wow how could she screw up that so badly? "um... I'm uh... I'm very wet for you Stiles"

He screwed his face up in concentration as he continued fucking her, "daddy" he corrected, "call me daddy"

She nodded but never said anything, his thrusts well timed and placed as she felt a knot in her stomach forming, her legs beginning to shake.

"Tell me you want daddy's load"

She moaned loudly, "I want your load"

"You want _daddy's_ load" he corrected, concentrating on his pleasure.

She blushed but nodded, "y-yes... I want d-daddy's load"

Oh, that was it. That was the exact kink he needed to get off.

He collapsed, all sweaty on top of her, kissing the crook of her neck, "keep calling me that. Keep calling me daddy, oh god..."

She was a blushing, hormonal, wet mess but did as he asked, calling him daddy over and over and over again, holding him close as he began to lose himself but even in his selfish, distracted state he was still able to make sure she got off first before he did, burying himself deep as he began to cum, spurts of hot white cum marking her from the inside out as he screwed his eyes shut, continuing to thrust as he called out her name - well... Not Sophie's name. _Kayla's_ name. Shouting it out before grunting and falling on top of her, savouring the after high he felt.

( **End of non stayla smut - sorrrryyyyyyyyy ha)**

Well, he would've if he didn't feel a sharp slap to his bicep and looked up, pushing his weight off her dainty body.

"Ow, what was that for?"

"You _know_ what that was for"

He frowned, pulling out of her and glanced down, watching his cum slowly seep from her core before pushing himself up so he was kneeling between her legs, "you gave me the go ahead to cum in you...?"

She rolled her eyes, twisting around to sit up, feeling both their arousals soak the bed sheets as she perched on the mattress, "look, Stiles, I know you're still in love with her and everything but I don't appreciate you calling me by your crazy ex's name"

He didn't ever register what she said he did. Just that she slagged off Kayla and he was not up for any of that shit.

" _Hey_ " he snapped indignantly, "she's not crazy"

"She's a loose canon, judging by what you told me" she exclaimed, "you've talked to me for hours about her Stiles - hours. I've remained impartial, but oh my god she's a nutjob. And having sex with me to try and forget about her, then calling me her name is a dick move"

Yeah, maybe it was but he didn't like hearing anyone slagging Kayla off - even the person he was sleeping with.

He stood up quickly, grabbing his pants and pulling them up his legs, "she's not any of those things. She's lost. You have no idea what she's been through-"

"No, but I have a good idea" she stood up quickly, grabbing her dress and pulling it on too, "and she's not good for you Stiles. She doesn't care for you, not like..." She paused, realising how desperate and needy this sounded but knew she would have to get it out, "... Not like I do"

He avoided her gaze, grabbing his shirt and slinging it over his arms, "um... Maybe you should just go"

She felt like crying, hating being dismissed even though she knew exactly what she was getting into - right from that talk in the hospital over coffee, she knew he was devoted to Kayla, even if he was mad and annoyed at her. She sensed right from the get go that he would never have something meaningful with someone else because he still wanted her. She knew that yet she let herself begin to like him, hang out with him, let him distract himself with her body.

She sniffed, holding back her tears as she grabbed her underwear and her bag, scurrying from the room in a desperate run and Stiles watched her go, feeling the guilt tear him up.

He was an asshole.

Like, the biggest asshole ever.

What a fucking _dick_.

He sighed heavily, throwing himself back on the computer seat as he pulled his phone from his pocket, scrolling through the list of names until he say Kayla's flashing up at him but he knew he had to call her. Get her to understand. To apologise for messing up, but that he was now with her all the way. Every step of the way.

He hit call, holding the phone to his ear as it started ringing and he was praying and hoping for her to pick up, to even just hear her voice. He needed her... He needed her, and he was a dick for not realising this sooner.

He was surprised to hear the click on the other end, his eyes widening.

"Kayla? That you?"

"Oh look, it's dickhead. Surprise surprise" her cold voice seeping right through to his bones so he shivered in slight fear, "what do you want?"

"I..." He, what? Wanted her? Wanted to apologise? Wanted to make it up to her for the rest of his life? "I um..."

"I don't have time for your bullshit Stiles. I'm this-close to avenging my daughter, so if you want to say something then say it quick"

"I love you" he rushed out, not even having control over what he said, "I'm in love with you"

"Sweet" she mocked, "and, what? You saying three little words to me is supposed to make me come running back to you with open arms?"

He paled, his hands shaking as he felt her slipping away, "I've messed up Kaylz... I... I see that now-"

"You're talking shit" she deadpanned, "you were just with her, weren't you? Is this your guilt kicking in?"

He never said anything and that was her answer.

"Fuck who you want Stiles, I literally couldn't give a crap. You are the least of my concerns, in fact you're name isn't even on my list. I'm done with you. For good. So stop trying"

"We were so good together Kayla" he rushed out, "what we had was really special and I-I want to fight for that. I know you've turned your emotions off and I'm not mad. I know why you did it, but the Kayla you were, the Kayla you're capable of being again, loves me. I know she does. I know she would want to try, so please baby... Please-"

"I'm sorry, the old Kayla can't come to the phone right now" she snarked and he could imagine her crude smile, "why? Oh, cos she's _dead_ " she snapped, "because you got yourself entangled with a dick of a Japanese spirit, so go to hell Stiles, the Kayla you believe is still here is long dead and she's staying that way"

She violently ended the call so Stiles jumped, tears forming in his eyes.

Had he really just lost her?

Was all their hard work now non existent because she felt the only way she could get her daughter back was taking on the responsibility herself, without his help?

But one thing she said stuck out - "I don't have time for your bullshit Stiles. I'm this-close to avenging my daughter, so if you want to say something then say it quick"

She was angsty and impatient because she was within arms reach of getting the revenge she craved. Which meant...

"Oh god" he paled, signing in to his computer to track her phone, already speed dialling Lydia even if she didn't want to speak to him, "look, it's me, I know you hate me but don't hang up just yet" he rushed out, "she's found her. She's tracked down Natália" he signed into Kayla's account, knowing all her passwords as he zeroed in on the blue dot pulsating on the screen, giving away her current location frozen in one spot, "and I have a feeling if we can't control this... They're both going to destroy as much as they possibly can and I don't fancy the chances Beacon Hills has against them both"

* * *

"And finally, our guest of honour arrives. What took you so long?" Natália remarked, a smirk dancing across her purple painted lips as she extended her arms, "I've been waiting"

Kayla's lips thinned, slowly walking into the loft, spotting Derek suspended to the wall behind Natália, pinned, paralysed, forced to watch but she didn't bother with him. He meant nothing to her at this moment in time. All her focus being concentrated on the bitch in front of her.

"Patience is a virtue" she snarked, stopping opposite her, a good fifteen feet between them, "it was brave of you to come out of the woodwork"

Natália barked out a laugh, "oh no sweetie, it was brave of you to come" her eyes flashed that deep dangerous green, power oozing from her very pores, "you were once the strongest, now..." She extended her arms, "didn't that adorable brother of yours tell you?"

"How you ate your cousins hearts whole and absorbed their power? Yeah he _may_ have mentioned that"

Natália's smirk increased, "I'm more powerful than you, little girl" she stepped forward, Derek looking at her in fear from the background, "and the only way you're going to reunite yourself with your daughter is in the afterlife. I'll keep both your bones as trophies, how does that sound?"

Kayla tilted her head to the side, pursing her lips in faux thought, "hmm... Let me think, it's tempting" she murmured, "but I _think_ I'm going to have to stick with killing you"

"Oh, I'd like to see you try"

Just as Kayla went to step forward, ready to unleash fury like nothing ever seen before, the metal door to the lift scraped open and she turned around, spotting Stiles, Lydia, her brother, Scott, Malia, Kira and even little Liam hot on their heels.

She snarled, "I knew I shouldn't have answered the fucking phone"

"You need your friends Kaylz" Stiles said gently, "and we're here to help"

Even just the sound of his voice annoyed her, unearthing her lack of patience as she threw her arm out and they all immediately went flying back into the wall, much like Derek - suspended there, unable to move.

"I don't need the moral police on my back, asshole" she cursed, not even sparing her 'friends' another look before turning back to Natália, "so I'll ask you once. Give me back my daughter"

Natália shook her head, "never going to happen"

She was furious, her hands shaking, violent flashes of red soaring through her as she clenched her fists tightly, feeling the cement floor beneath her beginning to tremble.

Natália smirked at her anger, "how cute. You can make a mini earthquake, _terrifying_ " she mocked, the arrogance pouring from her, "but me... I can unleash _hell_ itself"

A large crack began forming, splitting across the floor, the ground shaking as the crack deepened, cement breaking apart on impact as Natália began laughing, cackling in something close to amazement.

Kayla just watched the crack widen, darkness seeping out from deep within, the tinge of death and smoke burning her nostrils.

She cocked a brow, unimpressed, as she stared Natália out, "hell doesn't scare me bitch"

Her cousins smirk faltered a little, her eyes deepening with rage, "it should. Hell isn't one big place. It's made up of different dimensions. Different layers. This here-" she nodded to the large crack, a good tweety feet across and five feet wide, black smoke curling up from within, "-is one you know all too well"

Her facade dropped for a second, just a second, but it was enough to give Natália the upper hand, "... The nogitsune..."

She blew her a kiss, "correct. Maybe you've got brains after all"

She gulped but stepped forward, peering down into the endless black hole, "you've made a rip in the fabric of time. His world, leaking into ours" she explained, shooting her a glare, "you have _no_ idea what you've just unleashed"

"Oh sweetie" Natália smiled widely, "I do. And I know that he-" she nodded her head down to the deep chasm, "-will no doubt be _dying_ to see you"

 **A/N) OH SHIT OH SHIT HAHAHA**

 **Okay sorry for the Sophie and stiles haha but yasssss bad ass bitch Kayla ready to kick some as and oh wowwwwww nogitusne bell yeah haha so I hoped you all liked and please please review means the world, thank you in advance, you're all amazing xxx**

 **also the Taylor swift line was a suggestion from an anon on Facebook I had to fulfill that request haha**

 **tumblr - fanficanatic-tw - ask questions, see edits, videos, teasers lol**


	49. Chapter 49 - Kill them all

**Disclaimer: teen wolf is not mine - thank you all for all the support including**

Was she scared?

She didn't want to be. She didn't want to be scared of anything, but she was unsure what the outcome of this would be. Although she was hard and determined, guilt free and remorseless, the nogitsune was her abuser and torturer - for years. He caused her so much pain and terror and she didn't want to go back to that. To being his pet. She couldn't.

The black smoke continued to curl from the crack in the cement, wishing through the air before it seemed to solidify, hardening and changing shape and she was awe struck, unsure what to do, rooted to the spot as she saw Natália's eager smirk and heard her friends baited, heavy breathing.

She died to help put him away - for good. If he was back, and he was looking for vengeance, all of that was for nothing. Those entire almost three centuries would have been futile.

But she held her ground, keeping her expression neutral as the black smoke continued to float through the air, merging into the shape of a body and just a few seconds later she saw the eerie glare of hard eyes and gulped, falling back a step, her facade breaking for a second.

The nogitsune reformed, slowly then all at once until he was standing still in front of her, gazing down at his hands as he stretched them out, his long fingers sweeping through the air as he settled back to his corporeal form in the real world, his breathing slow and even.

At first, he never said anything, just stood there gazing downwards so the glare of the moon highlighted shadows across his chiselled face, his long eyelashes fluttering across his cheeks.

Everything was his fault - everything. Yet why did she feel a pull to him?

He caused her so much pain, so much distress but maybe she should thank him for that. She was now hard and ruthless because of him, he taught her how not to care and she was loving that. He taught her how to survive, as absurd as that sounded seeming how she died because of him.

She stepped forward, keeping her gaze trained on him as she reached out slowly, the tips of her fingers beginning to graze his cheek but as quick as a bolt of lightning, he grabbed her forearm in his relentless grip, pulling her forward and she immediately stiffened, her breathing heightening.

A smirk pulled at his lips, leisurely raising his head so he gazed down at her, his dark swirling brown eyes lighting up as he rested his stare on her, not looking anywhere else but her eyes.

"Hello, my little Hale... Did you miss me?"

She stopped breathing for a second, falling headfirst into those merciless eyes she knew all too well, unable to move a single inch. He would either be her destruction or her uprising, just like she was his all those months back and she didn't know which it would be.

The nogitsune's smirk grew into a half smile, gazing down at his handiwork. He worked tirelessly to rid her of her care, her love and happiness and now, looking into her eyes, he knew for sure he had succeeded. He had made the perfect partner in crime, someone he could share his time with in hell. When she left, when they resurrected her, he wasn't sure if she would revert back to the person she was but it was clear she hadn't - not entirely anyway. Her soul too damaged to be fixed. If only they knew the horrors he had out her through...

"Now now-" he murmured softly, his voice just as ice cold as she remembered, face so like Stiles' yet so different, so unforgiving and hard, "-don't be scared my little Hale. I would never hurt something I worked so hard on. My favourite project" he promised, borderline affectionately as he reached out to stroke her hair, "you are what you are because of me-" gazing into her empty, hollowed out stare with no sign of remorse or guilt, a smirk forming on his lips, "-and I couldn't be prouder"

No one had ever approved of her - not since coming back. They understood, to a certain degree in their small minds, but they didn't look at her the same. They saw her as a cold blooded, emotionless killer. Not once did anyone say 'it's okay to do the things you do. I don't blame you' and she didn't know how badly she needed to hear those words until the nogitusne whispered them to her, acceptance shining in his tone.

How fucking messed up.

She relaxed a little, an inquisitive frown pulling between her brows as he stroked her cheek, leaning down to press his lips to her forehead before murmuring against her skin quietly, "I made you into this, my dear, sweet, little Hale... Don't I get a thank you?"

His lean body slid against her, slipping behind her to curl his hands around her shoulder, his lips tickling her ear, "you're better like this, my dear. You can see that, can't you?"

She could see it. Being so full of love and care was a waste of time, especially now. Her whole life, she got punished for loving. Her family died. Her friends. Her babies. There was only so much someone could go through before they found it pointless to care. Hers came at the sweet, young age of seventeen. How tragic.

She nodded, catching sight of Natália on the other side of the crack in the cement, looking between them in surprise and angered frustration, her bottom lip curling in fury.

The nogitsune smirked against the shell of her ear, loosening his grip on her shoulders, "kill her. _Painfully_ " he ordered, "she pulled you back to this earth, away from me... Kill her like she deserves"

She didn't need his orders to do that, determined now more than ever to destroy Natália, a pleasurable tingle shooting through her as she realised he was in her corner, supporting her, rooting for her... The nogitsune understood her, more than anyone else ever did.

"... Kill her so she can't send me back"

Her eyes glowed bright green, fury and an unforgiving glint shining in her gaze as she started forward, walking towards the five foot wide crack, glancing down into the unsparing depths before leaping over flawlessly, landing in front of Natália who snarled at her.

"I have the power of three encantados running through my veins, little girl" she growled, her own eyes beginning to glow ferociously, "you are no match for me. _No one_ is"

Kayla just tilted her head to the side, her demeanour eerily calm but inside was like a raging fire, her power building and building to uncontrollable levels, ready to unleash terror and pain like nothing ever seen before.

"Actually-" she corrected coolly, with no room to show any fear or nerves, "-you're wrong. A mother's power knows no bounds" and with that she swept out, catching Natália's jaw with her fist, sending her spinning through the air at her unrelenting strength.

But Natália wasn't going to go down without a fight, pushing herself up and her eyes seemed to glow even brighter, glaring daggers at her as she held her hand out, Palm facing outwards towards her and a rush of energy soared through the air towards her, and if Kayla didn't brace herself for the impact then she would've been knocked off her feet harshly but she was prepared, pushing back against Natália's unyielding range of powers so she was left still standing, dizzy and a little disorientated fighting back against the dark energy that passed through her, but still standing none the less.

The nogitsune smirked, feeling her anger radiating off her in waves, turning towards the pack he faced and failed to, meeting his former vessel's terrified gaze and moving towards him slowly.

"Hello Stiles... Long time no see"

They were all too shocked and fearful to reply, their eyes wide, suspended to the wall by an invisible force, helpless as kittens as he inched forwards, "how long has it been on this earth? Three months? Four? My my, how time works so differently" he mused, clasping this hands behind his back, "you all can't even comprehend that, can you? No, not in your narrow, little human minds"

He watched as Stiles gulped loudly, swear beginning to trickle down his forehead as he flinched back, trying to move but was unable to, left to the nogitsunes mercy as he creeped towards him, stopping just a few feet in front of him.

"You may have won that fight Stiles... You may have gotten to live and be free, but I still won" he told him, feeling the packs fearful stares trained on him but he was focused on Stiles, eager to hurt him in ways he had only imagined during his time in his hell, "I took away your future, and without that, what are you?" He questioned, "your future was in hell, with me... And she was _delicious_ "

He watched as Stiles flinched, his terrified gaze now turning to stone as he glared at him and the nogitusne just laughed, "did you think you got her back when she returned? Were you happy when she came back to life? Did it ease your guilt?" He questioned ruthlessly, "such foolish thoughts, young Stiles... So naive" he added, "I did unspeakable things to her... I chipped away at her mind, her resilience, until there was no hope or love. I ruined her because you _let_ me"

Tears blurred Stiles' vision but he held them back, staying strong, not giving in to his weaknesses as he held the stare of the thing that destroyed his entire life.

"... Would you like to hear what I did to her?" The nogitsune queried, tilting his head to the side in faux innocence and wondering, "will I tell you exactly what hell I put her through because she chose to, foolishly, save you?"

"Stop it" a voice to the side screeched over the harsh sounds of fighting in the background, both Kayla and Natália not willing to back down and the nogitsune clenched his jaw, twisting his head to catch the terrified stare of Lydia Martin, the banshee he had once captured for her unique abilities, "stop doing this"

He could kill her... That was satisfy his hunger for chaos, strife and pain but he held back - he was going to test his favourite little project, get her to kill her former friends without remorse, the perfect payback so just cracked his neck, ignoring his annoyance at the redhead and turned back to face Stiles, a sadistic smile tugging at his lips.

"Or... I could show you" his eyes lit up, a gleeful glint shining in his eyes, "would you like to see how she bled? How she cried out for help, but no one came for her? Would you like to hear her screams as I carved into her?"

"Shut up" Stiles yelled, his limbs shaking as he glowered at his former abuser, "I'm going to kill you"

The nogitsune chuckled, "no, you won't. You're weak. And I'm-" he smirked, reaching out to press his two fingers to Stiles' forehead, "-I'm back" he said simply, concentrating as he forced a rush of memories from his mind to Stiles', able to push them past his barriers because they were similar, still connected in a way, sharing the exact same body only duplicated.

And Stiles yelled out in pain as his mind got scolded by what felt like red hot, burning fire, his eyes snapping shut as he relived memories that didn't belong to him, images playing quickly in his head.

He saw things he could only imagine, terrors he couldn't even comprehend.

The nogitsunes memories, now his.

He saw hands tearing her apart. He heard hopeless, terrified screams of agony. He smelt the raw smell of bitter blood. He saw everything the nogitsune did. He saw everything he did to her. He watched as hands, his hands, touched her, causing her nothing but pain. He heard his own voice faux soothing her, telling her that one day the pain would stop but today was not that day. He heard himself saying that no one cared about her, that they all left her here to rot, that now the only thing she would ever know was pain and fear.

He couldn't fathom an existence like that.

The invisible hold on him loosened so he fell to the cement floor, yelling as he gripped at his hair, his vision glazed over as he was forced to watch his love in varying degrees of pain, how she cried for him, whispered his name as a beacon of strength, how she told the nogitsune that everything he said wasn't true, that Stiles did love her, that she would never regret saving him.

But then he watched her break. Watched her crumble apart. Sharp pain and dull pain radiating through her. Skin being sliced from bone. Being slowly choked to death, despite being already dead. Fire encasing her until she was reduced to nothing but ash. Torture he couldn't even comprehend.

He watched as his hands and words ruined her, and he was in agony.

"See Stiles?" The nogitsune chuckled, watching the boy at his feet slump to the cement floor in exhaustion, tears tracing his cheeks as he shook from the harsh shock, his fragile, human mind unable to process the horrors he had seen, "see how I destroyed her? Do you now understand why she is the person she is?"

He did. He did. He did.

"Maybe one day she might start feeling again. She might even want to try to be good again" the nogitsune murmured, crouching down next to the boy he once possessed, smiling at his apparent distress, his body locked in position, shock spreading throughout his system, "but even if she does, you still won't get all of her back. Because she belongs to me. Apart of me will always live on in her... In my favourite little project. I spent years making her like this... Like me. And that can't be erased or fixed. You've lost her Stiles, and that brings me such joy"

He smirked, standing up and ignoring the glares of the pack, turning back to watch his little Hale fighting her corner, ducking quickly as Natália conjured up a ball of lightning, aiming it to her.

But she was quick on her feet, leaping back up and knocking Natália to the ground, grabbing her arm and a sickening snapping pop echoed around the loft as Natália let out a loud howl, clutching her shoulder.

"WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER?!"

"STAYING DEAD AND FORGOTTEN ABOUT" she yelled back, raising her hand as electricity cackled around her fingers, "JUST LIKE YOU" and with that, Natália pushed her hand out so bolts of blue lightning shot out and hit Kayla straight in the chest, the force too strong to be fought against and she went flying backwards, crashing into the large window panes so they broke on impact, falling freely from the loft.

The nogitsune allowed himself a second of surprised shock, quirking a brow at the broken glass before his fury began to take over, his eyes darkening to a pitch black as he was prepared to unleash fury he had been bottling up for centuries on the Encantado creature that had just hurt his favourite project, one he spent years on, but before he could he heard the slap of a hand on the concrete floor and watched as a single hand curled along the edge of the window, followed by another one and watched as she pulled herself up, rolling over broken glass before rising to feet, ignoring the painful cuts etched into her skin.

Her eyes were like nothing he had ever seen before - so focused, so deadly, so determined as they glowed, the entire loft beginning to shake, thunder rumbling overhead as she glared at Natália, irises a soulless but beautiful green.

"Bad move"

Her arm swept out, all the shards of broken glass rising into the air, circling around her before she flicked her wrist and they each turned so the sharp point was aiming directly at Natália and the nogitsune watched eagerly, feeling their power radiating throughout the loft as he got drunk on it, eagerly tasting the chaos and strife they caused.

Without even moving, just thinking what she wanted to do, the broken glass soared through the air towards Natália, designed to tear her to pieces but she conjured up an invisible protective force so the glass passed harmlessly through it, turning into ash as it trickled to her feet but that didn't deter Kayla, she expected some sort of defensive mechanism, no, what she was looking for was a distraction.

A distraction so she could move forward quickly, grabbing her neck in a tight hold and pinning her harshly to the pillar, her grip unforgiving.

"You're going to regret ever messing with what's mine" she snarked quietly, "that's a promise"

Natália just smirked, "your daughter is nothing but a bag of tiny bones. You couldn't even keep her alive for more than a few minutes. You're a failure"

She growled in fury, holding her still as she barrelled her clenched fist into her face, hearing a crack from her orbital socket but she didn't stop there. She kept punching her, kept unleashing her anger but Natália grabbed her fist tightly, snapping her wrist to the side so she faltered as pain ricocheted up her arm, giving Natália enough room to squirm from her grip, pushing her back and cackling loudly, holding her hands together as she conjured up a ball of colourful lightning, letting it grow between her hands.

"When I kill you..." Natália smirked, "... I'll be unstoppable. No one will ever beat me"

Kayla just clenched her jaw, rubbing at her wrist, unfazed by the buzzing electricity gaining momentum, getting even more dangerous the more time that passed, "just try it. I dare you"

The ball of lightning was now bigger than a soccer ball, suspended in the air as she aimed it towards her, prepared to fry her to a crisp but just as she sent it soaring through the air, destined to hit its target despite if she moved, someone stepped out in front of her so the Lightning soared into his chest, sending him flying backwards until he crashed into the concrete floor with a thud and lay there, unconscious and unmoving.

And despite the sudden pain before he passed out, he wouldn't regret doing it. She was broken because of him, he would do anything to make things right.

Kayla only spared him a single glance for a second, just a second, before turning back to Natália. He was stupid enough to do that, his fault if he died. She was done caring, especially about him.

So she attacked her. Ruthlessly. Harshly. Without remorse. Not needing to use her powers because of her brute strength as she punched her, kicked her, forcing her headfirst into the pillar so her skull cracked, rendering Natália helpless and unable to muster up enough strength to use her powers on her.

"If you don't tell me where my daughter is, I will end you" Kayla threatened, dragging her by the hair over to the crack in the concrete floor, dumping her next to it like a bag of trash, "so if you tell me, I'll make it quick"

Natália just spat out a mouthful of blood on her shoes, "go to hell"

Kayla smirked, "oh no sweetie, that's you" and with that she knelt down next to her, propelling her fist downwards so it cracked open her chest, squelching through the blood and bone until her hand grazed her still beating heart, wrapping her fingers around it and pulling it straight from her chest, like a kid winning a prize at the carnival.

She deserved to die. She did. Natália was scum, and Kayla was more than happy to deliver the final blow.

Blood dripped freely from her hand, her beating heart slowly stilling in her grip as Natália gasped back a breathless sound of pain, her glare trained on Kayla as she took her final breath.

A series of slow claps dragged Kayla's attention away from Natália's still body, gazing up at the nogitsune as he slowly moved towards her, stepping past Stiles as he smirked at her, "well done my little Hale... I always enjoyed your love for violence and gore. Your ruthless, up close and personal strategies. My my... What a show"

She remained expressionless as she stood, cradling the heart in her hand as she allowed her stare to move to Stiles, now seeing his tee brunt to his chest from the circular burn, blood and pus seeping from the wound and the slow but steady rise of his chest.

The nogitsune kept creeping towards her, gleeful at her lack of love and care for the boy she once died for, "I'm so proud of you, my own little spit fire" he praised until he was in front of her, "so do it" he nodded down to the heart, "do what you need to do"

She gazed into his eyes, finding acceptance and support in them, things she hadn't really felt from anyone since returning.

So she accepted her dark side, she accepted it and owned it as she raised Natália's still heart to her mouth, devouring the thick organ so blood seeped down her chin, filling up her mouth and sliding down her throat.

It was bitter and tangy but somehow delicious, feeding on the power Natália had, letting it settle in her body as the nogitsune smirked, stroking her hair as he watched her turn dark side, more so than ever before.

Everyone looked on in disgust and horror, worry pumping through their veins as she swallowed, tilting her head up so the dark red blood smudged around her lips and trailed down her neck but the nogitsune just swiped his fingers out at her red painted lips, sweeping some blood onto his thumb before sucking it off, their stares clashing.

"That's my favourite little Hale" he murmured, cradling the back of her head as he pulled her forward against his chest, "don't we make the perfect teams?"

Her eyes, once a bright luminous green, now turned completely jet black, evil like nothing ever experienced before pumping through her veins - the power of all four encantados residing inside her. She did the unspeakable - she turned her back on those she once loved, not helping the boy she had once died for, and ate a human heart. There was no going back.

And the nogitsune loved it. He ached to feel her darkness, to taste it, so pulled her into a searing hot kiss, their bloody mouths moving together as one before he got a rush of power and pure evil washing over him, breaking away slowly.

"Well done" he praised, nodding over to her former friends still suspended to the wall, "now do what you do best-" he smirked as she turned around, forehead lowered as she glared at the pack, "-and kill them"

And that was the story of how she stopped all their hearts at once, without even breaking a sweat.

 **AHAHAHAHA whooooops I'm really sorry haha but ACTION DRAMA CHAOTER yay and omg poor stiles is hurt and Kayla has now gone totally evil hence the black demon eyes and the nogitusne and Kayla talk about power couple lmao AND WHAT SHE KILLED THEM HAHA**

 **Sorry it's short chapter doing twelve and half hour shifts and really tired so please please review and leave me s little pick me up lol and see you all soon**

 **Tumblr - fanficanatic-tw - ask questions, see edits and videos etc ha xxx**


	50. Chapter 50 - Eyes as black as her soul

**Disclaimer: teen wolf does not belong to me in any way shape or form and a ,assign thankful shout out to Ashelymcd25, linda96, BeccaSco. Hope, guest, guest and Senjaninja for the awesome reviews I really appreciate it hope you enjoy :)**

"That was... Impressive" the nogitsune murmured in quiet satisfaction, a delighted smirk gracing his lips, "I thought you were powerful before but, my my... I couldn't have been more wrong"

She didn't respond to his words, just remained still and calm, her black eyes ready to engulf anyone's that dared to challenge her but no one moved, every single chest unmoving apart from Stiles' bloody one - he was lucky, he escaped her wrath... Just.

"They're all dead. Well done" he continued to praise, "if only you were like this when I needed you. Pity..."

Despite her hardness and inability to care, she quirked a brow at him, suddenly feeling shameful, "I'm sorry about that"

"No matter... I have you now" his lips upturned into a devilish grin, watching the blood continue to drip from her jawline to her blue shirt below, the dark red blood smudged around her mouth from where their lips met fervently and couldn't help the excitement that bubbled in his chest, getting drunk off her powerful aura, "what havoc would you like to cause?"

"I'd like to get my daughter back"

"Oh yes... Little Mia" the nogitsune whispered, "well, you ate Natália's heart, absorbed all her power... Did you get her memories too?"

She inclined her head into a nod, remaining stiffly silent and for just a brief second the nogitsune felt an eerie shiver run up his spine, a small breeze of fear wafting through him - he had to play his cards right here. Natália raised him from hell, just with the power of three encantados but Kayla now had the power of all four, she could not only send him back if she so wishes but completely obliterate him. He had to tread carefully and the nogitsune was not used to that.

"Lead the way" he extended his arm to the door and she let her black, soulless eyes fade away until she was left staring back at him with her usual, forest green irises, not even casting her former friends a concerned glance as she strode through the pile of bodies and up the stairs, pulling back the metal door so it scraped and he allowed a small quirk of his lips as he followed behind her closely, giving the dead pack a victorious smile but before they could get far they came face to face with a panicked and out of breath Isaac who skidded to a stop as he saw them, a relieved look crossing his features.

"Oh thank god I found you both" he exclaimed, "I got a muddled voicemail from Lydia but I was with Paige and-wait, why are you covered in blood? Are you hurt?" His concern far outweighed his need to explain as he stepped towards Kayla, cupping her cheek as he gave her a thorough once over, "Kayla? Stiles? Can someone tell me what's going on?"

She quirked a brow, not responding to his affection as the nogitsune smirked darkly and Isaac felt a quiver of terror run through him, his heart beginning to beat wildly in his chest, "... Guys?"

Kayla just simply took a firm grip of his hand, hearing his bones crunch together as she pushed it away and Isaac winced, his face screwing up in pain.

"Move"

He flinched at her biting tone, cradling his aching hand, "Kay... What are you doing?"

He hoped he was putting two and two together and getting five but a horrible sickening feeling seared through him as he glanced between what he thought was his two friends, swallowing a lump in his throat.

"That's not Stiles, is it?" He muttered in daunting realisation, "it's the... The nogitsune"

His eyes flared Amber in response, an immediate defence mechanism but Kayla just allowed an eerie half smile grace her lips as she tilted her head to the side, those once bright green eyes now darkening to a onyx black, her entire eye swallowed in darkness, "and he's with me so, if you value breathing, you'll do as I say and move. Otherwise..." Her hand shot out to suddenly to wrap around his neck, cutting off his breathing, "-I'll snap your windpipe in half"

He choked, desperately grabbing at her hand to try and deter her but she was much stronger and just squeezed harder so his face started turning red, veins bulging in his neck as she forcefully moved him to the side, holding him to the wall until he was bordering on passing out before letting go, watching him slide down the wall in pain, coughing and wheezing to try and get his breathing regular again.

"Next time I tell you to do something, listen" she sneered in an ice cold tone, "otherwise you'll end up like the rest of them"

He rubbed at his neck, feeling it already beginning to swell despite his healing and but froze at her words, his stomach dropping, skin crawling in dread.

"Rest of them?" He choked out, his eyes widening as he focuses on her, "Kayla... What did you do?"

She remained passive and still, her expression unwavering, "I took the trash out" she said coolly, "so, if you'll excuse us-" she turned on her heel, moving towards the elevator and Isaac felt such a strong sense of loss as she walked away, his heart breaking in two as he realised he was losing his best friend all over again, in a way he had never before. She had died, swayed to favouring wrong over right but now, this time, she had abandoned all sense of reason and had gone, truly and utterly, dark side.

The nogitsune hummed, squatting in front of Isaac as a playful smile tugged at his lips, "beautiful, isn't she? That raw power... Exactly what I wanted her to be. Hell looks _great_ on her"

Isaac snarled, his canines extending in response to one of their greatest enemies but he just remained cocky and didn't let the smile drop from his lips as he stood once again, not even bothering with another glance as he followed Kayla into the elevator and disappeared from sight and that was when the full realisation of what had just happened hit Isaac like a ton of bricks.

He jumped up, ignoring his pain as he rushed through the door of the loft and skidded to a stop at the sight of all his friends bodies laying haphazardly across the cement floor, none of them breathing. He couldn't even hear their heartbeats, just the endless silence of nothing.

But Stiles coughed, letting out a groan as he rubbed his bleeding chest and Isaac immediately darted over to him, ignoring the sudden and everlasting onslaught of pain and loss as he helped him sit up, tears hanging off his eyelashes.

"Stiles... Kayla she... She killed them... How did this happen?" He asked tearfully, holding Stiles steady as he tried to take some of his pain away, "why is she doing this?"

His friend gaped, his bleary eyes falling on the bodies of their dead friends and for a second his heart skipped a beat, confusion and loss seeping through his body.

"I... I don't..." He ignored his pain, giving Isaac a shove, "get their hearts beating. Get them _beating_ " he demanded, crawling over to Scott on his hands and knees as he hurriedly smacked his clenched fists together and desperately slammed them to Scott's chest and maybe it was because he was an alpha but he immediately inhaled, lurching upwards as he grabbed at his chest, his kind brown eyes going wide.

"No wait-" Stiles called out in desperation to Isaac as he made a move to start doing CPR on Lydia, "-Kira first. She can shoot electricity through them, restart their hearts" and Isaac complied, working on their kitsune friend as Scott and Stiles helped each other stand as Kira came to, accepting Isaac's hand as he helped her steady, murmuring words of comfort and encouragement as she panicked, saying she didn't know if she could save the rest of their friends but she did, guiding her palm over their chests and zapping them with electricity that surrounded her hand until everyone was alive and breathing, breathing heavily to get over the shock and pain.

"I did not sign up for this" Liam gasped in panic, "we all just _died_ "

"For like a minute, tops. Chill" Stiles rolled his eyes, "we have more important things to do, we have to get her back-"

Liam shook his head, "I don't want to die"

"You won't" Stiles exclaimed in irritation, "that was... Kayla didn't... She didn't _mean_ to do that..."

"She killed us" Malia said bluntly, "there was no remorse in her eyes and then she walked away. She left you for dead" she nodded down to his still bleeding chest from the gaping wound and he winced, trying to tie up the buttons of his shirt to hide the evidence, "she's gone"

"Don't say that" he exclaimed loudly, wincing as pain ricocheted from his chest through every single nerve fibre in his body, "just-just don't. She's still in there somewhere, I know she is"

"I second that" Dylan spoke up, "I've been dead before and, I don't know... I don't think we were actually dead. It didn't feel like last time. She may have stopped our hearts, but she didn't kill us. Not entirely anyway"

"That doesn't make any sense" Kira whispered in fear, "how could our hearts have stopped, but we not be dead?"

"I-I don't know" he replied helplessly, "I'm just saying what I felt"

But before anymore words could be said, Derek grazed past Isaac's shoulder and looked at the young teenager, one he hadn't seen in nearly three years, the same one whose funeral he had been at and he gaped, giving him a thorough once over.

"... Dyl?"

Despite the seriousness and impending doom they all felt, Dylan managed a relieved smile as he met the gaze of his older cousin, finding security and acceptance in his familiar expression.

"Derek" he strode forward, opening his arms as they hugged for a few blissful seconds, "I'm sorry for not easing you into this" he murmured, pulling back to give him a smile, "but I'm back. Have been for a couple weeks now"

Derek clapped his shoulder, his expression still morphed into shock, "but how...?"

"And I'll explain it to you, I will, but first-" he stepped back, immediately taking charge as he met the stares of his sister's friends, his gaze nothing short of determined, "-I can't waste more time. I want to get my sister back, before she causes anymore chaos and destruction that I know she is entirely capable of. So if you're with me then let's get to work"

"But first-" Scott pointed out, wincing as he nodded towards the large crack still oozing black hell smoke, "-what are we going to do about that?"

* * *

She let the water run until it was burning hot, steam filling up the bathroom of the hotel room she was staying in as if fogged up the glass surrounding the shower as she heard a quiet set of footsteps behind her and sighed as she felt the nogitsunes hands curl around her shoulders, his long gracious fingers digging into her muscles to relieve the tension.

"So tense, little Hale" he purred, "you aren't worrying, are you?"

She shook her head, "not worrying, I just want them all to pay"

He smirked, leaning down to brush his lips along her ear lobe, "and they will. We'll make them" he promised, sliding his fingers down over her shoulders to begin blindly untying her blood soaked shirt, "you did well on making that mortician pay. He signed off on your daughters bones being passed on to the funeral house, but yet you still cut off his hand"

She shrugged, quite unconcerned, "he faltered. I don't like people that disobey me"

The nogitsune hummed in approval, letting her shirt fall open as he turned her around, giving her blood splattered bare skin a long hard glance before meeting her empty stare, "I like the new you, little Hale"

"Me too" her hands crept forward to unbutton his own shirt, her gaze not leaving his, "it's... Refreshing"

His smirk widened as he shrugged off the shirt, letting his bare chest gleam under the bright light, "I can't wait to see just how much power you've got princess. I bet you could bring down buildings, open sinkholes, cause an entire city to drown"

Her smile turned into a manic grin, "for starters" her hands slid down to his pants, unbuckling his belt so they slid to the floor, "I feel so... Alive. Like my entire skin is buzzing with electricity" she explained, undressing him as she talked, "everything is so in focus now"

"I'm so glad" he praised, "this is what I worked for. Hurting you wasn't just for my own entertainment, you see that now, don't you? There was always a bigger agenda, a bigger _plan_ "

She glanced down at his naked body, one she knew all too well, the exact replica of Stiles' before meeting his stare head on, "to make me bad?"

"Not bad... Despicable... Unmerciful... Unforgiving..." He rattled off, "and I succeeded. You're happy like this, aren't you?"

She pulled her jeans off her hips, letting them pool around her ankles as she stepped out of them, "of course I am. I finally see you had both my interests and yours at heart. You made me into this, and I am so thankful" her eyes gleamed with mischief as she undressed, opening the shower glass door and stepping into it backwards, "so how about I show you _exactly_ how thankful I am"

He grinned, following her in and closing the door, watching her expression twist into dark playfulness through the thick mass of steam from the hot water as his eyes darkened with lust, feeling her power oozing off her in waves as she closed the gap by tugging him forward, her hands sliding upwards to cup his cheeks and pull him into a searing kiss, his fingers sliding down her wet back as the water rained down around them, their naked, bloody bodies turning a light pink from the heat, the once dried blood stuck to their skin started to drain away, dripping down between them.

She was always attracted to the bad guys... But it made sense now, because she accepted she was one of them. She accepted her darkness and she owned it oh so well.

His fingers sunk into the small of her back, nails slicing against her skin as he walked her backwards a step so she slammed into the glass, his lips so cool and calm yet like fire as he dominated her, gripping at her so tightly she knew his hands would leave marks all over her body but she didn't care, an amused and pleased smirk tugging at her lips as she kissed him back with such fierceness it left her breathless.

He slid his palms down over her hips, scratching them down her thighs until he was grabbing at them to pull her up and she wrapped them around his hips, her nails digging into the cool flesh of his back as he begun biting her neck, ravishing her skin but she loved every second, tilting her head back and enjoying the raw, sharp pain that seared her skin.

He spent years causing her nothing but pain and turmoil, but now she was willing to let him make her feel pleasure as she clung to him tightly, a deep rooted need for him rushing through her body as his mouth explored her skin, nipping at the sensitive parts which made her moan, tightening her legs around his hips.

It was like he drew out the worst parts of her - the parts she used to hate, now she loved. She enjoyed how he grabbed at her skin, tugging her hair harshly to get her to tilt her head sideways, the way his lean body seemed to exert this type of dark, dominant energy that enveloped her, wanting to pull him in closer and never let go.

She finally had someone that liked her the way she was, accepted her darkness and didn't try to change her. The nogitsune wasn't Stiles. No, he was better. _Much_ better. Stiles was _nothing_ compared to this extraordinary creature currently bathing her entire being in mind boggling excitement and pleasure, littering her skin in bruises.

She scratched at his back until she was grabbing fistfuls of his hair, tilting his head up to meet his dark lidded stare, "stop wasting time" she demanded, revolving her hips so she could grind her bare core along his twitching cock, sliding against the stiff veiny length she ached to feel inside her, "or I'll have to punish you" her lips quirked in amusement, trailing a finger down his cheek as his eyes gleamed.

"Oh little Hale..." He purred, suddenly spinning her around and slamming her back against the opposite glass pane so the entire shower shook and she chuckled darkly, knowing she was about to get exactly what she wanted either way, "patience is a virtue"

She jerked her hips, forcing him to be the one with his back to the glass, holding his shoulders tightly as she guided herself upwards a little before sinking down onto his hard cock, crossing her ankles behind him to support her as a blissful sigh escaped her parted lips.

"I just want a fuck" she said, holding him there against the glass as she bucked her hips, bouncing on his cock as she savoured the rush of intense warmth fill her up, "I want you to fuck me"

He supported her hips, watching her bounce against him as her strength, her power, her evil aura drowned him but he was loving every second, feeling invincible and mighty as his hands explored her slick, water covered body, admiring the bruises he had already left.

She grinned, slowing down her pace as she leaned down to bite his ear lobe, "come on void... Fuck me better than Stiles _ever_ could"

He snarled, being anything but gentle as he turned her around and slammed her back into the glass, grabbing her ass tightly as he began ruthlessly jerking his hips inside her, forcing himself to bury his cock as deep as it would go, completely wrecking her from the inside out.

But Kayla just laughed, her eyes being drowned in onyx black once again as she clawed at his shoulder blades, "he fucked me right here too, y'know" she sung breathlessly, the air getting knocked from her lungs after every deep, well placed thrust inside her, her legs beginning to quiver around his hips, "right in this very shower, _exactly_ how you're doing it" maybe she just wanted to get under his skin, make him angry, she didn't know but she enjoyed how he quickened his pace, detaching a hand from her ass to suddenly wrap around her throat, pulling back to look at her.

"Stiles is _nothing_ compared to me princess" he muttered darkly, " _ **nothing**_ "

She loved the feeling of little air, a playful smirk pulling at her lips, "prove it"

His bottom lip curled, suddenly letting her drop not so gracefully before turning her around and slamming her front into the glass, grabbing a fistful of her hair so the side of her face was pressed harshly to the steamed up, water droplets glass and another landed on her hip, squeezing it tightly before forcing himself inside her so quickly and harshly her heart missed a beat in surprise, a breathless moan escaping her lips.

"Stiles. Is. _Nothing_ " he repeated, each word perpetrated by a vicious slam into her and she couldn't help but chuckle, loving every second of it, " _I'm_ the one everyone is going to fear-" he said roughly, his cock forcing her legs to open a little wider as she bathed in the pleasure, "-and you're going to be right beside me-" his hand moved from her hip to grab a handful of her ass as he watched himself being buried deep inside her sweet warmth he had craved since the Hale house all that time ago, "-my bad little princess, understand?"

She bit her lip, unable to stop smirking, "the perfect team"

He cackled, straightening her out before pressing her entire front against the glass, his lean body touching every inch of hers as he choked her, his lips fluttering along the curve of her neck.

"Exactly little Hale-" he cut off her breathing with a tight squeeze and a perfectly timed thrust deep inside her, "-the perfect team"

Blood continued to trail from their bodies, swirling down the drain as he worked his hips harshly, fucking her exactly how she wanted to be fucked - rough, quick, emotionless. A means to an end. She wanted undeniable pleasure? Then he would give it to her.

And he did.

She was shaking, body quivering as she enjoyed the dull ache spreading through her lower body, listening to the wet slaps that echoed all around her, his thick full cock dipping in and out of her at such a fast, ruthless pace she felt herself clenching and dropped a hand to rub at her own clit, edging herself closer to paradise.

"If only Stiles could see us now" the nogitsune smirked next to her ear, "seeing me fuck you better than he _ever_ could... Oh how that would tear him apart"

She was too busy losing herself to the pleasure to take heed of his words, jerking a little as she started to cum, a loud untamed moan leaving her throat as the entire room began to shake but the nogitsune grabbed at her harder, continuing to choke her, holding her still as he carried on thrusting into her despite her quivering and he grunted, feeling that still very foreign, very human, feeling of release coil in his stomach and collapsed against her back as it spread through his entire body, unloading himself inside her, failing to notice how all the lights exploded, coating the room in darkness.

They were both breathing heavily, hot steam prickling their eyes as they tried to catch their breath, the nogitsune slowly pulling out of her so her flooded pussy began dripping, his cum and blood from their aggressiveness swirling down the drain.

"Well..." He murmured, watching as she stood up straight and smirked at him, "that's what I call teamwork"

* * *

Seeming how Liam and Malia were apprehensive about the whole saving Kayla thing, it was decided they should stay behind at the loft to monitor and watch over the crack that led to the nogitsune's prison, and they knew to alert them as soon as it did anything suspicious - Stiles wasn't sure _what_ exactly but it was a rip through time and worlds, hell smoke still pumping out onto this earth - for all he knew it could be infectious or be a portal for other hell nasties that he was pretty sure he didn't want to meet, so they were on guard duty.

The rest of them were tasked with finding Kayla, the plan to pretend Scott had died to find who was behind the deadpool taking a back seat as they all decided the imminent danger Kayla presented was far worse.

He never thought he would have to think that - that his Kaylz would snap and be the thing they were fighting.

They were at Scott's, mapping out a plan just as the power cut out, leaving them in darkness and they all knew at exactly the same time who had just caused that.

"I'll get some candles" Scott sighed, his eyes flaring bright red to help him see as he made his way to the kitchen and Stiles glanced out the window at the equal darkness spreading across the town, blinking to clear the rush of tears invading his vision.

He knew it was Kayla, he had watched her blow the entire towns power plenty of times before, usually because of him. Because of what they were doing. She lost control when she was in the throes of passion, of pleasure, and knew immediately exactly what she was doing with the nogitsune.

He wiped at his eyes, pushing himself up off the sofa and ignored everyone's concerned glances as he escaped through the front door, desperately needing some fresh air to clear his head, to refresh his thoughts. He was being drowned in sadness and despair, unable to escape the crushing hopelessness.

There was so many 'what if's' running through his head.

What if he realised sooner.

What if he never left her.

What if he actually listened to her, instead of just pursuing his own foolish desires.

Maybe if he did, he could've stopped this.

He sat down on the porch steps, blowing out a long calming breath but it didn't help. He had lost Kayla before, but this time was different. It wasn't like her dying, it was possibly even worse. Watching her turn into someone she would have never wanted to become. It was hell, plain and simple.

The door behind him opened not long after and he heard a gentle, light pair of footsteps settle next to him, the person carefully sitting down next to him and he glanced over at the familiar smell of rose perfume, sending Lydia a blank expression.

"Come to shout at me some more? Go ahead. I deserve it"

Lydia winced, an apologetic look crossing her features, "Stiles I... I'm sorry for snapping at you. The things I said... They were wrong"

"They weren't wrong. They were right" he contradicted, "I did ruin her. I did turn my back on her when she needed me the most. I never did deserve her, least of all what she did for me... If I could I would've traded places with her in a heartbeat. I would take hell any day over her being this person"

Lydia reached out, rubbing his shoulder soothingly, "no Stiles, I was wrong. I lashed out at you because you were an easy target, don't take my words to heart. You never ruined her... You saved her, every single day of her life. You were the person she woke up every morning for. Believe that"

He bit his lip, glancing at Lydia's hand still resting on his shoulder, "I could've stopped this. If I had seen it... But I didn't. I was blind to her hurt because I... Because I wasted my time on someone else"

Lydia winced, a guilty expression twisting her face, "Stiles... Don't blame yourself"

"Who else is there to blame?" He asked hopelessly, "everything was fine until I mentioned that tape..."

"You couldn't have stopped it Stiles... Not like..." She swallowed thickly, pushing the lump back down her throat as he shot her a suspicious look, "not like I could've"

He frowned, "what are you talking about?"

"She... She came to me" she admitted, partly relieved to finally get this off her chest, "before she turned. Told me what she was planning to do"

He drew back, her hand falling from his shoulder, "you knew? You knew and you _didn't_ tell anyone?"

"I..." She had no words to defend herself, the guilt already eating her whole, "I should've. But in that moment, I wasn't some knight in shining armour, I was just being her best friend. And I thought she needed someone in her corner, someone that understood"

He was lost for words, staring at Lydia like he was looking at a new person.

"She um... She was so much like the old Kayla. So honest. So... Raw. She... She promised she would come back to me, said I was special to her... You didn't fail her Stiles, I did. I did for letting her talk me into her plan, for letting her kiss me-" she cut herself off abruptly, her eyes wide as they fell on Stiles, "-it um... It wasn't like that"

He deflated, shoulders sagging as he dropped his gaze, "like what Lydia?" totally hopeless, "like you're not another Isaac?"

"No" she claimed, "hey, I promise" she reached out for his shoulder again but he shrugged her off, "I don't feel that way about her, not entirely anyway. It's hard to explain, but I promise she is just my best friend. My best friend that I love and miss and want back to see her happy and content with you. That's all. Please Stiles-" she reached out for him again and this time he didn't push her away, letting her small hand curl around his shoulder, "-I promise"

He sighed heavily,rubbing at his eyes, "well... Not that it matters anyway, she's um... Let's just say _busy_ with the nogitsune"

Lydia frowned in confusion, not adding two and two together.

He pointed to the blacked out town in front of them, "power outage. Kayla does that when uh... When she's..." He couldn't get the words out, even just the thought and idea was painful enough.

"Oh" Lydia whispered, shock pumping through her system as he froze, "but... Why him?" She asked, "why someone that tortured her for centuries?"

"I don't know" he whispered, "but Kayla can be wicked enough on her own, throw in the nogitsune..." He shivered, casting a fearful Lydia a worried look, "all hell's gonna break loose, and we are not prepared for what they have in store"

* * *

"Red looks good on you"

"So does black" she smirked, her eyes engulfed in darkness as they flashed to that deep onyx colour, doing a playful little twirl for him as he chuckled, admiring her attitude.

"That it does" he agreed, stepping forward to cast a look down her blood splattered clothes, her sudden hunger for human hearts surprising him but he soon embraced it, helping her track down someone delicious, someone that would settle her carnivorous ache - the Encantado was out in her full force, her being so powerful he could feel her bare skin buzz every time he got near to her.

She licked her lips, swiping away the last of the blood before smirking, "I'm going to bring this town to its knees"

"And I'll be right there with you princess" he grinned, "let it burn in hell fire"

Her smirk widened, the earth rumbling as it shook, the cement caving in as large cracks shot across the ground, splitting it apart so the sudden screams and wails of pain and anguish from all those suffering an eternity of misery could be heard, flames beginning to sizzle from the dark depths.

She hadn't felt prouder, "that's exactly the plan"

 **A/N) OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OKAY SO IDEK WHAT TO SAY like it will get better Kayla needs to be really bad and apparently carnivorous lmao but poor stiles, and Lydia opened up to him and yay Dylan and Derek DEREK WILL NOW OFFICIALLKY BE MORE IN THE STORY my poor be I feel like I've left him out BUT DAMN GOTTA ADMIT KAYLA AND NOGITSUNE MAKE A HOT COUPLE am I right ha**

 **Hope you all liked and please please review I will love u all because it's past 3.30 am and I'm knackered but I was determined to get this out for you so pretty please lemme know your thoughts, thank u so much**

 **Also tumblr - fanficanatic-tw - been posting lots of edits lately so come see spoilers etc and ask questions ha**


	51. Chapter 51 - Lay down your life

**Disclaimer: teen wolf is not mine in any way shape or form - thanks to x XRoweenaJAugistineX x, hope, Ashleymcd25, EllieDragon, linda96, BeccaSco, Senjaninja and MaddieMiran for reviewing I love you all, hope y'all enjoy this next update :)**

 **andddddd I got a poll up just BC IM curious about ur opinion of stiles lol**

"Come inside and let me clean you up a bit" Lydia smiled gently, nodding down to his chest that he was absentmindedly rubbing at as his gaze swept out at the blackened out town in front of him, "we don't want it to get infected"

"It's okay... It doesn't hurt"

Lydia sighed heavily, "yes it does. You got hit by a burning ball of lightning, you're lucky you didn't die"

"Yeah..." He whispered bitterly, "lucky"

"You did it to protect her" she whispered, "when Kayla's back to being Kayla she'll remember that. She'll see that everything you've done was you're way of helping her"

He scoffed, "so was having sex with someone else helping her? Because she looked pretty cut up about it when she walked in on us"

"That was a stupid thing to do" Lydia said bluntly, agreeing with him in that moment, "not just because it hurt Kayla, but because now you're beating yourself up over it and that girl, whose name I wish I didn't know, is probably feeling very low and very used right now. Fifteen year old girls are very impressionable Stiles, they're not mature enough to think these things through, especially when the person they're sleeping with is in a natural position of power. You're nearly eighteen, you should've known better"

He dipped his head in shame, the turmoil consuming him.

"But... You were also in a low place" she continued sadly, "you wanted a break from Kayla. No, you needed a break from her, and that's okay too. She'll understand"

"... Maybe..." He mumbled, "if she doesn't kill us all first before I can explain"

"She's not like this because of you. Not entirely anyway" she amended, "her dead daughter went missing, she was feeling so much, too much, and then uh... Then she got attacked-" he inhaled sharply, pushing down the sickness he felt welling up inside of him, "-what they did to her was inhumane. It was sick. I'm sad she flipped the switch, but not surprised"

"Did uh... Did Derek move the body?" referring to one of Kayla's attackers, the one she killed in self defence.

Lydia nodded, "yeah, and hid the evidence. But I doubt anyone's going to miss that bastard" it wasn't often Lydia swore, Stiles taken aback slightly, "nothing can be traced back to her"

He blew out a shaky breath, trying to ground himself but Lydia gently took his hand, standing up and urging him to do the same, "come on. Let me patch you up"

He didn't have the energy to refuse, letting Lydia drag him back into Scott's house which was now full with candles, a gentle glowing light bouncing off the walls as Lydia asked Scott where he kept his first aid kit, the latter pointing to the kitchen so he got guided through and instructed to sit at the wooden table as Lydia lit a few more candles so she could see, grabbing the box and pulling up a chair opposite him to sit down.

"Take your shirt off" she said and he quirked a brow, blushing slightly.

"Oh relax, I know every single body measurement of yours. Kayla gets very detailed which I'm sure you're not surprised at" she smirked, taking some cream from the box and popping the lid and he just blew out a breath of laughter, wincing slightly as he freed himself from his shirt and tugged his tee over his head, groaning a little at the pain that rippled across his torso and Lydia's eyes widened in shock, leaning forward to tentatively touch the burnt outer wound but he flinched.

"This is worse than I thought" she admitted, "maybe we should visit Melissa at the hospital-"

"No, no it's okay" he gently curled his hand around her wrist before she could pull it away, "it's not as bad as it looks. It'll heal. Supernatural burns don't have the same impact remember?" He prompted, trying to get Lydia to remember the burns that Kayla had inflicted all those months ago when the Nemeton made her power go all wacky, "let's not make a big deal of it"

She didn't look happy with that idea but didn't argue with him, dabbing some cream onto his circular wound before taking a sterile swab and gently patting it into the damaged skin, being extra careful while studying his micro expressions which he tried to even out and keep in control.

"Do you need some painkillers?"

He inhaled sharply as she accidentally pressed a little harder, "uh... No, no I'm good"

She rolled her eyes, reaching for the bottle of pills and quirked an eyebrow, "don't try and be the tough guy. If you're in pain, take them"

He matched her eye roll but listened to her, dry swallowing a couple as she got some bandages and pressed them to his wound, asking if he could hold it there as she taped the edges to his skin, keeping it in place before looking at her handiwork, debating if it was alright, if it would help with his pain but Stiles just nodded, sending her a grateful smile.

"Thank you"

She leaned back, passing him his tee before realising it was a little bloody and pulled it away before he could object, "it's all bloody. And burnt. You're not putting it back on - same with the shirt" she added, seeing some blood splatter along the edges.

"Great, so I'll just carry on topless then, shall I?"

She ignored his snark, sighing loudly before calling through to Scott if he could grab him a spare tee which he responded with a "sure, give me a minute" and Lydia smirked triumphantly.

He leaned back in the chair, clasping his hands between his legs as he stared past Lydia out the window, his mind drifting as he remembered exactly how much pain Kayla had been in. He had imagined what hell was like for her, but everything he thought paled in to comparison to what he saw. He didn't recall everything, just bits and pieces, his human mind unable to process three centuries worth of memories, but what he did remember was terrible for lack of a better word. It was inconceivable.

Lydia jolted him from his thinking, drawing him back to reality with gentle words, "you're thinking about what the nogitsune showed you, aren't you?"

He flinched noticeably, his body curling in on itself, "he did stuff to her that I couldn't even fathom. Stuff that... That I didn't even know it was possible to do. And now all I hear are her screams..."

Tears blurred Lydia's eyes but she held them out, reaching for his hand in support.

"I saw the moment she broke. How she looked so defeated and broken. And I felt the nogitsunes happiness at that, I remember him feeling ecstatic that he had finally crushed her. He kept telling her that no one loved her, that we all left her for him because she was nothing but a burden. Useless. That she died for me and-and I didn't care enough to try and save her. He demeaned her, and demeaned us, to the point where she started believing his words. She was stuck there, with no one, in constant pain, believing that all of us didn't love her"

Lydia let a tear fall but wiped it away, looking away briefly to collect herself.

"She was in hell Lydia... For me. And I repay her by... By walking away. By not sticking by her like I promised I would. She made my life hell for a while, she did, but I made hers unbearable"

"We'll get her back" Lydia promised, "you'll get her back"

He rubbed at his bare aching chest, the bandages already starting to bloody a little, "I hope so" he murmured, "but I just have this... This feeling like she's gone. For good"

"You're wrong" Lydia said adamantly, "she promised me she would come back, that she would be Kayla again. Kayla doesn't break her promises, remember?"

"But you saw her eyes, didn't you?" He murmured sadly, "pitch black. I uh... I heard Derek talking to Deaton on the phone. It symbolises true evil. What if she can't come back from that?"

"She will" Lydia said determinedly just as Scott came through with a fresh tee and shirt for him, "I know she will"

He knew he should be thinking positively but he was drained and broken, doubts swarming through his mind as he accepted Scott's clothes, slowly pulling them on.

"I have to go with Lydia on this one" Scott pitched in, "everyone can be saved"

He dipped his head, thanking Lydia for the help as he pushed himself up and strode through to the living room as Scott and Lydia shared concerned looked behind his back but soon followed him back through as the pack debated on the best course of action.

"-I still say we should lock her up" Isaac spoke up, "temporarily. Until we can figure how to get her back to her senses"

"I don't think anything could hold her" Kira replied, "and if we tried, we would probably end up dead. Again"

Derek folded his arms across his chest, a deep frown pulling between his brows, "she just needs reminded that she's safe now. That she still has friends and family that care for her"

"I've tried that angle" Dylan sighed, "she won't listen"

"And if we get close to her again..." Isaac shivered, his head falling forward in defeat, "she might um... Let's say try and finish the job because killing you all clearly didn't work the first time"

"Maybe we're looking at this the wrong way" Lydia thought out loud, "maybe we should be focusing our efforts into getting rid of the nogitsune because, while he's still here, Kayla has him feeding her all these poisonous ideas. He's fuelling her anger. Making her feel accepted"

Dylan eyes went wide with realisation, staring over at Lydia, "that's it. Oh my god, you're a genius"

Lydia looked a little taken aback by the compliment but nodded her head in thanks anyway, "Kayla by herself is a Kayla we can get through to. If the nogitsune is by her side, whispering in her ear, making her enjoy being this evil, we don't stand a chance"

Stiles bit his thumb nail, his worry increasing tenfold the more they spoke, all at a loss what to do. It wasn't just about saving Kayla, it was about getting her to accept emotions back in, to make her see her mistakes and own them - a difficult task for anyone that had completely shut off from reality. And the more they continued throwing ideas around, the more Stiles became convinced they were all secretly unsure and doubtful that Kayla could ever be saved, but none of them wanted to say that out loud.

"She wants revenge" he whispered brokenly, unable to look anyone in the eye as he spoke, "and she won't stop till she gets it. Only then will she uh... Will she come back"

Derek glanced over, finally meeting Stiles' gaze as he looked up, "okay but she got her revenge. Natália is dead"

His heart dropped, sinking in turmoil as he felt the heartbroken tears pressing themselves forward as he came to the awful realisation that Natália wasn't the thing she was wanting to conquer most.

"Not Natália" he shook his head, "what she did to Natália was what she was wanting to do to someone else, she just hasn't realised it yet"

"Stiles..." Scott murmured in alarm, "what are you talking about?"

He swallowed thickly, meeting his best friends concerned glance, "she wants to kill me. And I'm going to let her"

Immediately the entire room elapsed into silence, each face conveying nothing but shock and surprise at his words but he meant them. She wanted revenge, closure, and what better way to get that than hurt the person that caused this mess. He would be doing her and everyone else a favour.

"Have you lost your mind?" Lydia screeched, slapping his arm, "no, don't be so _stupid_. Kayla doesn't want to kill you, she _loves_ you for god sake"

"Stiles... You don't think that would actually help, do you?" Isaac whispered, like he was now only truly realising how consumed with guilt he was.

He shrugged, "I started all this. She's seeking closure and she can get it by punishing me. It makes sense"

Derek's eyes darkened as he stared him out, "so say you're right. Say she does want you to suffer... Have you stopped to think how that'll effect her when we get her back to normal? How she's going to deal with that guilt that she killed the guy she loves?"

He clenched his jaw, annoyed at their lack of understanding, "it's my fault she's like this. The least I can is make it right"

"Not by spilling more blood. No way" Dylan shook his head, "look, I don't know you. I don't know anything about you Stiles but I know that my sister loves you, very much. She wouldn't want this. She wouldn't want to take your life, so instead of playing the martyr, let's all try and think of a safe way to bring her home, alright?"

Lydia nodded, shooting Stiles an annoyed glance like she was saying 'see? Now that's someone talking sense' and he just let out an aggravated sigh, regretting ever speaking up in the first place. They wouldn't understand. He knew they wouldn't understand. They didn't truly comprehend what Kayla had gone through, nor what she was feeling. Not like he did. The nogitsune opened his eyes to something - it was his fault Kayla was broken beyond repair, and it was his job to try and fix it by whatever means necessary.

The tension was thick, all still reeling at Stiles' confession but he didn't let that deter him, more determined than ever to make things right.

"Okay so... We kill the nogitsune? Again?" Kira asked for clarification, absentmindedly touching her belt around her hips, the one that turned into her sword, "just like last time? Well..." She flared red in shame, "not exactly like last time. But I mean the same way - getting bit then a sword through the chest?"

Scott shrugged, "that's our best bet"

"Good" Derek nodded, shooting Stiles another warning look that basically said 'don't you dare try anything stupid', "let's get to work then"

* * *

"You know Stiles better than I do, do you think he meant what he said?"

Lydia glanced up, meeting Dylan's curious brown eyes and just sighed heavily, brushing past him to close over the kitchen door so they were safe from prying eyes and just shrugged.

"Honestly? I think he did" she admitted, "he blames himself for all of this, and he loves her so much he would do anything to make it right. Including doing something as stupid as dying. Kayla has already done that for him, we don't need it ending up into a vicious cycle"

Dylan scrubbed a hand down his face, leaning against the worktop, "is he a good guy?"

"Yes" Lydia said unwaveringly, "don't get me wrong, he has his moments. There's been times I've been tempted to slap him but he has a good heart. And he loves your sister very much, I promise you"

"And what about that other girl?"

She winced, hoping this didn't tarnish Dylan's view of Stiles, "she was a... Mistake" she settled on saying carefully, "he was hurting and... And that happened. He's come to his senses now"

"He better have" Dylan said lowly, his eyes darkening.

"He and Kayla weren't together at the time" she reassured, "they had split up. He never cheated"

Dylan cooled down a little, quirking a brow, "he didn't? Oh, that's better then" he mumbled.

"I've already told him off for doing what he did, he realises he was in the wrong. Hence why he has so much guilt right now"

"So tell me something, honest opinion?" He asked and Lydia nodded, her gaze not dropping from his soft stare, "do you think we can save her?"

She blew out a shaky breath, her bottom lip trembling a little, "I... I think it'll be hard but I have faith in my best friend. If anyone can come back from the point of no return, it's her"

Dylan smiled a little, looking thankful, "she's lucky to have a friend as good as you. Someone who still has her back"

"She's my best friend" Lydia explained, "there isn't anything I wouldn't do for her"

"... You know-" he started, crossing his arms as he relaxed against the worktop, loosening up with Lydia, sensing she had nothing but good intentions and she was someone he could let his guard down with, "-before uh... Before dad and I um..." He got choked up, forcing those memories down, "we were just a normal family. Well, normal ish" he corrected, "she was my annoying little sister with a runaway mouth. And now... She's grown up. She's totally changed. She doesn't have that innocence anymore. She's unrecognisable"

Lydia dipped her head in sadness, reaching out to slowly stroke his arm in comfort, "life has been hard to her. And you're right, it shows. But she really is a good person. What she is now, it's um... It's not really her. It's hell PTSD"

His face fell, those young brown eyes suddenly ageing a hundred years in the space of a microsecond, "I wasn't there. Hell I mean" he added at Lydia's confused look, "I don't know where I was, all I know was that I was... I was happy" he said simply, "content. Warm. And then suddenly, I'm here" he barked out a humourless laugh, shaking his head as he glanced around the kitchen. "Back to living where nothing feels right" he didn't know why he was opening up to her, all he knew was she loved his sister and seemed trustworthy and understanding, the perfect person to talk to, "maybe this is an adjustment period, but this is _like_ hell for me"

"... I'm sorry" she whispered, tilting her head to the side in sympathy, "Natália should've never raised you, especially if you were at peace"

"Guess I'll just have to suck it up" he shrugged, "get used to... This" he waved his arm out, "people and emotions and everything bad and hard in the world"

"You should talk to someone" she advised, "it might help"

He nodded, "maybe. Or maybe no one will understand, so what's the point?"

She smirked, "now I definitely see the family resemblance"

He looked affronted for a brief second before dissolving into a smirk and just when she was going to reply, the kitchen door opened and Scott appeared, his face morphed into sheer panic.

"Scott?" She asked in concern, "what is it?"

"Have either of you seen Stiles?"

She paled, sharing a concerned look with Dylan, both straightening as they realised just how serious this could be, "no, why?" Her voice getting higher and higher as panic kicked in, "have you lost him?"

Scott gulped, shaking his head, "he's just... Gone"

"Oh no" she mumbled under her breath, "that stupid idiot" she cursed, "if he's doing what I think he's going to do, me and him will be having a lot more than just words"

* * *

He slipped away, totally unnoticed. He thought it was a miracle, what with four werewolves surrounding him but he put it down to them being too distracted planning how to get Kayla back to notice if he mumbled about taking a bathroom break.

Maybe he was thinking irrationally, but his guilt had just kept building and building until it was unbearable, his stomach in knots, his chest tight, forever on the brink of losing it.

Since the nogitsune showed him those terrible things, he was unable to think of anything else. All he could hear was her screams, her pleads to stop, her wails of agony as her body got cut up and pieced back together. He would never forget those sounds - they would forever haunt him. And she went through all that for him? Such a waste, he thought. He was the one that deserved to die, to go to hell, not Kayla. All she wanted to do was save him, and instead she got punished in the worse possible way.

He swiped at his forehead, ridding himself of the buildup of sweat as he made his way quickly through the town, heading to where he needed to be.

He hadn't told anyone this but since the nogitsune's return, he was able to... Sense it. Like they still had a connection. It was unnerving and made him feel sick to his stomach, but he pushed past his disgust and guilt to concentrate on feeling where he had to go. If he found the nogitsune, Kayla would be close by, he knew it.

So he pushed on, quickening his pace before his friends realised he was gone and tracked him down, rounding the corner of some desolate old brick buildings just on the outskirts of town and skidded to a stop as he saw Kayla admiring her handiwork - fresh cracks split across the Tarmac, the tips of flames scorching the edges and he distinctly heard hundreds if not thousands of muffled wails of terror coming from inside the crack.

She had tore open a door to yet another hell dimension, and he hoped that nothing as bad as the nogitsune would pull itself free.

He was too shocked to speak, totally broken as he watched her do the unspeakable which was why the nogitsune spotted him first, beginning to laugh.

"Well well, look what we have here" he mocked, smirking as Stiles glared at him, "I knew you would be the first to find us. We have a connection, remember?"

He tore his stare away from the nogitsune, unwilling to play into his game as his eyes settled on Kayla, watching her back stiffen as she turned around, her eyes as dark as midnight and it was unnerving staring into her empty gaze, feeling fear as he got swallowed up in the eyes he used to find love and comfort in.

"You" she stated, her tone sharp and ice cold, "not dead yet?"

He stepped forward, willing the shake in his voice to disappear, "I... I... I'm sorry" he whispered, shaking his head as he tried to stop fresh tears from falling, "Kayla... I'm so sorry"

She quirked a brow, "you're sorry? You're _sorry_?" She rolled her eyes, "your apologies are futile and too late"

"I know. I know they are" he nodded, taking a step forward, "I messed up. I fucked up your entire life, and I didn't understand how bad, until now. I ruined you Kayla... I ruined the person that I love more than anything in this world, and I can't do anything to change that"

"No. You can't" she deadpanned, "you were my _biggest_ mistake"

He nodded in agreement, taking anything she dished out to him, "I know"

She looked slightly taken aback that he agreed with her, cocking a brow at him, "I hate you"

"I know" he whispered, he knew because he hated him too.

"No, I _despise_ you" she snarled, "I regret _ever_ meeting you"

He took another step forward, "I know Kaylz"

" _Stop saying that"_ she shouted furiously, "stop saying you _know_. You _don't_ know. You don't know _anything_. You don't know anything about what happened to me _or_ what I need"

"You need revenge" he whispered, rubbing his nose on the back of his hand as he sniffed, his cheeks dampening with tears, "you need closure. So uh... So do it" he nodded, "kill me"

Her eyes widened a little, a surprised look flitting across her normally passive expression, "... What?"

He shrugged tearfully, dropping to his knees in exhaustion, "kill me" he repeated, "do it baby... Kill me. Get closure. Kill the person that ruined your life"

She blinked a couple of times, eyes fading from pitch black to their normal, beautiful green, sharing a wondering look with the nogitsune.

"Well... That changes the game" he announced, smirking as he walked up behind Kayla, his eyes landing on Stiles as he cupped her shoulders, deliberately skimming his lips along the curve of her neck and Stiles just swallowed his disgust, his bottom lip trembling as all of a sudden he felt a searing pain across his forehead - memories, memories that weren't his - playing quickly in his mind.

Steam. Condensation. Bite marks. Water. Fervent mouths. Deep scratches. Moans. Slaps. A hand around the throat. He had to watch as the nogitsune did ungodly things to her in the shower, his stomach curling with sickness.

He winced, grabbing at his head as he pulled himself free from that, listening to Kayla let out a breathy moan as she let the nogitsune suck a possessive mark onto her neck, but her stare remained unwavering on his.

"Kill you?" She repeated, "why? So you get the _easy_ way out?"

He almost broke down again, clasping his hands together as he felt like begging with her - _pleading_ to put him out of his misery, to end this, to get the closure she needed so she could be saved.

"Do it" the nogitsune egged on, catching her earlobe playfully between his teeth, his hands drifting down to her hips, "punish him"

Kayla just smirked, a brilliant idea flashing through her mind, "oh Stiles, killing you would be easy. Quick. But it wouldn't satisfy me. No" she grinned madly, extending her hand out in front of her so the ground began to shake, another feel crack forming just in front of her and he flinched, his eyes going wide as he watched it cave open, "but if I made you suffer through what I suffered? Karma" she laughed, biting her lip as she sent him a sarcastic wave and he felt nothing but fear and dread floating from the large, never ending chasm to hell in front of him, "welcome to hell, buckle up, it's a bumpy ride but please... enjoy your stay"

 **A/N) STICK WITH ME IMMA BE KIND EVENTUALLY lol aw poor stiles so guilty, and Kayla Is bamf as fuck lbr and omg Lydia as Dylan... Wink wink haha so please please let me know what you thought, pleaseeeeee, reviews have been dwindling and I'm getting all self conscious that people are giving up on me and I need the inspiration lol thank you all, see you soon - don't forget to review :)**

 **Also tumblr - fanficanatic-tw - done lots of edits recently. Plus I post upcoming sruff and love getting questions and stuff ha**

 **AND - I published a stayla one shot that will happen at the end of this story it's really sweet and takes the stayla relationship to the next level, it you want sappy cute stayla then I suggest reading it lol**


	52. Chapter 52 - consequences part 1

**Disclaimer: teen wolf is nae mine folks always thank you so so much to Ashleymcd25, BeccaSco, hope, linda96, guest (stiles will get kinda bad not full out evil but angry and stuff lol) peachy48, xJenzaFreakx (that was an awesome review tysm ha), Senjaninja, MaddieMiran (lol I'm sorry haha) and guest for reviewing this is part one next part out either tonight or tomorrow yayyyyy so please enjoy x**

He felt like he was falling forever, spinning rapidly and all at once, the never ending darkness smothering him as all those crushing emotions, the dread and horror he felt wafting up from the crack in the ground, drowned him. He felt helpless and alone and so terrified, right down to the very bone.

He eventually crashed to the ground – hard, miraculously still alive though, however his entire body ached, like every bone in his body shattered on impact.

He landed on a rocky stone surface, and the more he peered through the darkness, the more he realised the entire landscape was just that – like the jagged verge of a mountain.

He remembered what Natalia and Kayla had said, that each hell had its own dimension, existing within each other. Wherever Kayla had sent him… he knew it wouldn't be pleasant. He was prepared to die to ensure she got her closure, but he underestimated her viciousness, her need for punishment. Maybe she was right – dying was too easy, but forcing him to endure what she went through? That was sadistically perfect… he just wished he figured it out sooner.

He pushed himself up, shivering as he began to freeze, a cold wind rattling his bones as he stopped breathing momentarily, craning his neck backwards as he peered up to the miniscule dot of light many many miles up ahead, the crack through time and dimensions.

But it seemed impossible to climb that high.

Kayla had banished him to an eternity of misery and hell and he didn't blame her – not one bit.

A sudden scraping sound made him jump as he stumbled backwards, his hands beginning to shake with nerves as something faded in and out of his vision – an eerie outline of… of _something_. He didn't know what exactly, but he knew whatever it was, it wouldn't be good.

So he ran, and he never looked back.

* * *

"You're too late" she called out to the figures running towards her, panic and worry oozing off them in waves, "your precious Stiles is no more"

Scott stepped forward, in front of his pack as denial and disbelief filled his eyes, "Kayla… no… what have you done?"

She shrugged, quite unconcerned, "what I wanted" she whispered, totally unempathetically as the nogitsune slinked about by her side, his smirk ever present, "he was causing me problems. So I fixed that" her lips quirked, amusement surging through her veins as she waved down to the crack, " _bye bye_ Stiles"

Malia growled, pushing herself forward next to Scott so her eyes flared a bright, wonderful blue, "you killed him!"

"Better" she smiled manically, full of glee, "he's currently down under" she stage whispered, "and that hell… oh boy-" she mocked, playfully shaking her head, "-is one of the worst. Payback is a bitch, after all"

Scott grabbed onto Malia, pushing her back and nodding for Kira to hold her friend down as best she could, "Kayla, stop it. Bring him back. You don't want to do this"

Her expression went from playful to displeased in the blink of an eye, the air around then dropping in temperature, " _don't tell me what I want"_ she thundered, her voice enough to want to send everyone cowering away in fear and submission, "I want him punished and dying would be too easy. Too quick. But this way-" she finally smirked, "-this way he finally gets to feel what I feel. To feel the agony and hopelessness I went through for him. It's what he _deserves_ "

"Boo-hoo" Malia snapped angrily, pulling away from Kira's grip, "some bad things happened to you and you think you have the right to play god? To hurt people that only want to help you? you _crazy, ungrateful little-"_

She never got to finish her sentence before she started choking, an invisible force tightening around her throat.

"Actually, little girl, I have every right" Kayla corrected coolly, "so do me a favour-" she narrowed her eyes a little so the force tightened, Malia dropping to her knees in pain, "-and stay in your _damn lane"_

"Stop it, _stop it"_ Lydia shrieked, feeling her head about to explode as she felt exactly how much Kayla ached to kill them all, to slaughter them until there was nothing left and she knew it wouldn't take much to push her over the edge, "Kayla _please_ -"

She whipped around to glare daggers at the red head, the choking hold around Malia loosening so she collapsed forward, gasping for some much needed air, "you're just as bad" she snapped heatedly, "where were you, hm? My _best friend"_ she mocked sharply and Lydia felt the tears rush forward, guilt consuming her whole, "where were you when I needed you? if anyone could feel where I was, what _hell_ I was going through, it was you but _nooooo_ , no, you never listened. Never listened to me _screaming_ for you, pushing from the other side because you rejected your powers and all because they **upset** you – well guess what Lydia, I _tried_ " she screamed furiously, "I _**tried**_ reaching out for you, hoping the harbinger of death could help but you _never_. You turned your back on your power and on me, so don't you fucking start"

Lydia inhaled sharply, her stomach churning at Kayla's fury and realised, with absolute certainty, that maybe there was more she could've done. Her power was death, she was able to feel it, sense it, see it coming, but maybe there was more to her power than that – maybe if she opened her mind, explored her power, then she could've helped but she never. She never wanted to find out more because her power scared her, she hated it, hated what it represented, and that was selfish of her. She felt like she had let her best friend down again, and it was an agonising feeling.

But Dylan felt Kayla's relentless fury and pushed Lydia behind him for her own safety, trying to stop his heart from breaking as he watched the pure, raw hatred engulf his little sister and knew if they didn't try and help her, there was no coming back for her.

"Kez…" he whispered softly, tears blurring his vision as he took the calming, soft approach despite the fact his heart was hammering in his chest, "it's okay. You don't have to do this"

She snarled, "you're right, I don't… but I _want_ to" she added, tilting her head to the side, "I want to make _all_ of you suffer exactly like _I_ suffered… I want to make you feel _my pain"_ she growled, "call me petty, but that's what I want. And I want it _now_ "

"No, no you don't. Not really" Dylan rushed out, ignoring the other's warnings and stepping towards her, "and I know our situations are different sis but… but I understand what you're going through. I get it. Living here… in this world…" he murmured sadly, "it's hard. It feels like you're constantly out of place. Unnatural. Trust me, I get it" he nodded, "but we're here to help you. You don't have to go down this path"

She scoffed under her breath, "don't patronise me, _little_ brother" she mocked, putting him down, "you know nothing about me, or my situation. You were happy. And warm. And accepted. You were at peace. I wasn't. so don't you _dare_ -" she stepped forward, and he wanted to take one back to compensate, everything inside him telling him to back off, his survival instincts kicking in but he remained still, watching the fury burn behind his sister's eyes, "-insult me by pretending we are the same. We're not" she narrowed her eyes, "so unless you have a death wish… _back… off…"_

He felt a hand curl around his jacket, recognising it as Lydia's, gently trying to tug him back but he remained unwavering and stubborn, meeting his sister's stone cold gaze.

That was one thing about Hales – they never turned their back on each other, even when one of them was acting unreasonable and really rather unlikable.

"No" he shook his head, "you're my little sister, three years lost or not… I won't leave you. Not again Kez, I promise you"

That increased her fury, her eyes being swallowed by black, "then be prepared to join Stiles"

The entire ground started shifting under his feet, cement cracking and splitting apart and he lost his footing, his Jean clad knees scraping against the tar before the ground began to gave way and he heard Lydia yell - no, scream - this loud blistering scream that tore into his ear drums and before he fell, he watched his sister stumble back in pain, clasping her hands over her ears in agony, even the nogitsune hunched over a little and just when he thought 'well great, this is it. I'm gonna die. _Again_ ' he felt a clawed hand grab his wrist before he could tumble head over ass into a bottomless pit of terror and torture, his front slamming off the jagged walls of the chasm.

"Hold on Dylan, I've got you" Scott promised, his eyes flaring a wonderful red as he reached down, grabbing his other arm and hauled him out, both collapsing onto the cement as they gulped back some much needed air to try and calm down their raging anxieties but they didn't have time because Kayla had already recovered, snarling as she cocked her head to the side, pushing away the pain as her ears bled.

"Nice party trick" she said coolly, dark eyes rigid, cold and hard, no empathy burning in them at all, no trace of anything except anger as she finally smirked, not saying anything just staring out Lydia, like she was trying to make her crack under the pressure.

It wasn't just creepy, it was full out sadistic evil. Manipulating. A power play. She wanted them to be nervous, left to anticipate what her next move was. It still felt like she had them all in the palm of her hand.

Scott helped him stand as Dylan wiped the dust residue off his jacket, not letting what happened deter him. So what, his sister almost sent him to a hell dimension... Their family had some issues.

"Kez..." He said slowly, deciding another approach but her eyes never wavered from Lydia's and he felt the red heads fear, her anxieties choking her, "think rationally about this okay? Why team up with him?" He flung his arm out at the Japanese demon that looked scarily the replica of Stiles it was unnerving, slinking about behind Kayla, "don't you remember what he did to you?"

Her jaw clenched, tilting her head to the side as she finally moved her stare from Lydia's to his, looking displeased he had spoken out of turn.

"Don't listen to him princess" the nogitsune whispered, coming up behind her to murmur in her ear, "he wants to turn you against me, divide us, weaken us... Don't let him"

Dylan clenched his fists, his eyes flaring a magnificent blue, ready to tear this abomination apart if he didn't step the hell away from his sister, "you _died_ because of him, remember?" He demanded, "you died for Stiles, but you wouldn't have had to if it wasn't for him"

The nogitsune's eyes darkened, his lips pressing together into a thin line as he cupped Kayla's shoulders, "I made you better. Stronger. I saved you, little Hale"

" _You didn't save her"_ Dylan roared, "look at me Kez... _Look at me"_ he thundered and she did, her eyes as black as onyx, "it's _his_ fault... _All_ of it, all of _this_ , it's _his_ fault. Don't let him control you"

Her bottom lip curled, a burning, sizzling energy surging through the atmosphere, they all felt it, like something was ready to explode - the calm before the storm.

" _No one controls **me**_ " she snarled furiously and the hairs on his arms and back of his neck stood up on end, a silent warning of deathly danger as energy pulsated around her, so potent that even the nogitusne stepped back because, right now, she was a walking talking atomic bomb - or close enough. She had opened up multiple tears in a range of different hell dimensions, who knows what else she could do, " _ **no one"**_

There was another drop in temperature, enough to make them begin to shiver as she straightened up, stepping forward, "you all want your _precious_ Stiles back, Hm? _Do you?"_ She demanded, loud enough to make the earth rumble in response and he almost cowered back in response, "fine, have him... Just be prepared for the consequences"

Another crack appeared by their feet and they all jumped back, each one feeling something dark - they couldn't pin point what - but they knew whatever it was was evil, pure and raw come rushing from the crack just before a bloodied hand curled around the edge and Dylan was the first to notice, swallowing down his fear as he dropped to his knees and grabbed the hand, "you can't pick and choose what you want from hell, it doesn't work that way, so have fun with, well... Whatever the hell just crawled out of there too. It's not my problem" she said dismissively, no emotion, no nothing in her voice as Isaac was the next person to notice what Dylan was trying to do and helped pull a flailing, panicked Stiles from the hole, "just like how _none_ of you are my problem"

"No, no wait-" he tried to stand up, to go running after his sister but an invisible force pushed him back down and he 'oomphed' in surprise, tears blurring his vision.

"Don't bother, brother" she snapped, not even looking over her shoulder as she stormed away, the nogitsune hot on her heels and this feeling, this hopelessness and loss was worse than dying. He felt like a failure. Like he had let his sister down.

"-whoa, Stiles, it's okay, calm down, calm down" he was drawn back to reality, turning to the side to see Isaac trying to still a flailing Stiles, "you're okay, you're safe now-"

But he didn't stop fighting his grip, not until Scott kneeled down next to them, "Stiles, you're okay now, I promise"

He stopped fighting, whipping around in panicked shock as his wide eyes absorbed the sight of his world, his reality, adjusting to the sudden brightness of the streetlights to the side and Dylan watched him shake, fear evident in his scent. His clothes were grimy and torn, ash or dirt covering his skin, dripping with sweat as his chest rose and fell rapidly. What could he have seen in the last ten minutes to cause this reaction?

"D-D-Did it come out with me?" He demanded, grabbing Scott's arm tightly, enough to make his friend look down in shock at the strength, "I said _did it come out with me?"_ He shook his arm, terror written all over his features.

"We don't know" Lydia wrapped her arms around her torso, "s-something did, we don't know what"

"No, no, no" Stiles chanted, digging the heels of his palms into his eye sockets, "this is bad, this is bad bad bad"

"Stiles, you couldn't have been in there longer than ten-fifteen minutes tops-"

"No" he interrupted him, shaking his head quickly, wild hair knotty and sticking up on end, a thin coating off ash or dust residue flaking from his hair, "it was hours, days maybe, I don't know. Time works differently there... K-Kayla told us that"

"What did you see?" Kira asked shyly, fear twisting her expression, "what was that thing?"

Stiles gulped, his terror filled eyes finally meeting his friends, "I... I don't know... I kept running. I didn't stop. But whatever it was... It was always there, just inches away from me. And it made me feel... Feel..." He couldn't even explain what, just that it was terrible and exhausting, the pure manifestation of evil.

Scott cupped his shoulder, "you're safe now Stiles. Kayla brought you back-"

His eyes widened, turning around so quickly everyone jumped at the suddenness, "Kayla? Kayla, oh my god where is she, did you-"

"She's gone Stiles" Malia sighed, "she left. Again. She chose her path"

"No, no" he was in denial, maybe, but he wasn't going to lose faith in her, not yet, pushing himself to his feet as his tired, achey legs were a bit slow and he stumbled but Isaac helped him and for that moment he forgot he was ever mad at Isaac, that he hated his guts, because he grabbed his shirt and smiled, "she didn't kill me. She had a chance and she didn't take it"

"Okay..." Isaac shared a concerned look with his friends before focusing back on Stiles, "but she sent you to hell. Isn't that just as bad?"

"No, no she sent me there and then pulled me back. Death is permanent. She wasn't ready to let go. I have to believe that she's in there somewhere. I _have_ to save her. I have to give her a proper second chance at life... She deserves that. She deserves to be saved..."

"Debatable" Malia crossed her arms stubbornly.

"She's your sister..." Stiles said bluntly, "and I know deep down you care Malia"

"Okay wait, what?" Dylan near enough shrieked, his eyes going wide, "what? Sister? What?"

"It's a... Long story, fill you in later" Stiles settled on saying, rubbing at his hair so the ash sprinkled down around him, wincing a little as pain flared up, well... Basically everywhere, his body tired and aching as it finally dawned on him he was in hell - for hours or days he didn't know, but he had been there and now he wasn't. It was a lot to process, a lot to get his head around. But for now he had to concentrate on bringing back his Kayla and not this heartless thing she had turned into, and he was now more ready than ever to do this. Whatever it took.

His love knew no bounds, even to hell and back.

* * *

The nogitsune let out a low wince of pain as his back slammed into the wall of some dingy back alleyway, rolling his shoulders to try and ease the pain.

" _You don't control me"_ Kayla growled, her fist connecting with his jaw, " _no one_ controls me" she hit him again, this time sending him careening sideways into the brick wall, his forehead slamming off the stone, "I _own_ you this time, bitch-" she grabbed his neck, holding him still, pinning him there and he couldn't even move if he wanted to, totally submitting to her strength and power as her eyes met his, nothing short of fury and resilience burning bright, "-which means _I_ control _you_ , understand?"

He would've spoken if he wasn't currently getting choked, letting out an indecipherable noise and she smirked, pleased, before loosening her grip and he coughed a little, clearing his throat.

"Whatever you think, little Hale"

Anger twisted her features, grabbing his neck again only this time harder, slamming him back into the wall, "I can send you back to hell _anytime_... Remember that"

"But you won't" he croaked, "you need me"

"I don't _need_ you" she scoffed, "I don't need _**anyone**_ "

He grabbed her hand, pushing her back to escape her grip so he could breathe again, remaining ever cocky and confident, "yes you do. You need me because I'm the only one that accepts you for who you truly are. The only person that doesn't want to change you"

She snarled, eyes getting swallowed by onyx black again as she slapped her palms against the wall on either side of his head and despite him towering over her by a few inches, he suddenly felt very small - maybe it was her fury, her throbbing pulsating aura that screamed sadistic revenge and unwavering power, "I don't need acceptance... You're good for two things. One... My lap dog. My little bitch. My obedient sidekick. And two..." She let her eyes trail hungrily down his body, her breath hitching before finally meeting his stare, "keeping me satisfied"

He smirked dangerously, "we both know how good I am at that last one"

She grabbed his hair, tugging his head back so she could lean up and bite down on his earlobe, showing him who was in control here, "you will _never_ control me again. From now on, you do as _I_ say" she licked a strip behind his ear, feeling him shiver.

"Oh little Hale... Dominant looks sexy on you"

She knocked him to the ground, watching him land on his back before she straddled his lap, settling down contently and peeling off her shirt, discarding it to one side.

"Shut up" she snapped, tearing at his own shirt before her fingers furiously unbuckled his pants, "this isn't hell... You're in _my_ world now. _You_ belong to _me_ "

He grinned, watching as she shimmied his pants down his hips before excusing herself from hers, getting exactly what he wanted from her. To see his favourite little project turn dark, her arrogance, her confidence, her evil streak all down to him.

He had made her like this... And he was so damn proud.

He grabbed her hips, watching her grind down on him but she batted away his hands, her eyes that were once pure black now gleaming that enticing bright green.

" _Don't_ touch me" she demanded, gasping a little as she swivelled her hips against his until they became one, sighing in contentment as he filled her up good before slapping a hand over his mouth, "and _don't_ speak"

He smirked against her palm, watching her move over him quickly, holding him still as she rode him and he lay there, basking in the power he felt coursing around her body as she moaned, throwing her head back in ecstasy.

And he loved this... The nogitsune _**loved**_ this, watching and feeling her going after what she wanted, no shame in sight. She wanted a mindless fuck, well... He was there to please, after all. From all the pain he caused her, this was her taking back control. Maybe there was a fine line between passion and hate after all.

She sped up, taking out all her frustrations on him as she bounced up and down on his cock, not letting him touch her or please her or even whisper filthy things to her because she wanted to feel in charge and in control, not in someone's mercy so kept fucking him in that back alleyway until her stomach coiled and she jerked, body spasming as she came with such intensity she rolled off him to one side, the feel of his twitching cock too much for her.

She lay there on her back, staring up at what little stars she could see, remembering the last time she was down an alleyway similar to this, only she wasn't the one in control - she was the one getting used and hurt, despite saying no _over_ and _over_ and _over_ and _over_ again-

She jerked as the nogitsune touched her arm, springing up and sending him a glare, "I thought I said _don't touch me!"_

He smirked, "sorry princess" laying there quite content as she reached for her clothes, pulling them on but he made no move to do the same and she quirked a brow at his smug expression before looking down at his still erect cock.

"Aw, did you not cum? Such a shame" she mocked, standing up.

He did the same but instead of bowing down to her, continuing to be the submissive he walked her backwards until her back hit the wall, tutting at her.

"Don't put your clothes on yet, little Hale, we're just getting started"

"I don't think so" she pushed him back, "I've got stuff to do"

"Stuff meaning me" he caught her arm before she could move forward, pushing her back into the wall, "so..." His hands were like feathers as they fluttered across her skin, untying her shorts and letting them pool around her ankles, "how about you hurt Stiles by fucking me? Or-" he grinned devilishly, "-I could be the one making you scream?"

Her lips upturned but, to feel in control, she made sure not to look seduced by his words or his ideas, grabbing a fistful of his hair and pushed him to his knees, tugging down her underwear with her free hand and he smirked in glee, delving forward to begin working his tongue over her, inside her, against her, you name it he did it and she moaned, gripping at his hair until she was sure she was going to rip it from the roots but he didn't mind, he bathed in the pain and in her pleasurable moans.

She wanted this town to fall to its knees, for everything and everyone in it to pay... But maybe she could be bad with the nogitusne for just a little while longer.

A/n) oooooh yassssssss like Kayla will be full out dark just a little while longer ha so as said this is part one, written before I go to dinner for my grandas birthday and part two should be out again after that late tonight or tomorrow but please don't let that stop u reviewing this chapter haha thank you all and see you soon :)

also got a poll up about stiles what you think of him ha

AND tumblr is fanficanatic-tw - ask questions. See edits all if that ha


	53. Chapter 53 - Consequences part 2

**Disclaimer: teen wild is not mine - thanks for the continued support, hope you like this next one X**

 _ **'... Gratitude is a burden and revenge is a pleasure'**_

"So what you're saying is..."

"Her body physically cannot sustain this much power" Deaton reiterated, "it's unnatural. Her body - her _human_ body, keep in mind - wasn't made for this. In fact, I'm surprised she's held out this long without causing irreversible damage"

Stiles sucked in a deep breath, dropping the towel from where he was drying his damp hair after a quick shower at the animal clinic - yeah, who knew this place had a shower? Not him - and having changed into a fresh clothes, sharing a concerned look with his friends.

"What kind of damage are we talking about here?" Dylan asked carefully, "brain damage? Broken bones?"

Deaton opened a large book and placed it on the silver examination table, the same table that Kayla's dead body was placed upon as they cleaned her up but Stiles tried so damn hard not to think about that, flinching a little as he shook his head, clearing his thoughts.

"Possibly" he murmured, flipping through the pages, "it varies. But this much power contained within a human vessel is incredibly dangerous. She's like a bomb at the moment. One wrong move and-"

"Boom" Dylan finished his sentence, dipping his head in sadness, "is that dangerous for everyone else, not just Kayla?"

"... She could wipe out this entire town" he replied glumly, finally finding the right page and skimming his finger down the text, "or county. For now, her power is resting inside her, but as soon as her human body can't contain it, it'll escape, cause irrevocable damage to unknown degrees. That's why I'm going to make this. An elixir of sorts" he pointed to the page and everyone craned their necks to glance down at the writing, indecipherable instructions printed in a different language, "if we give her this, it'll de-power her"

Stiles jaw gaped wide open at that, "for good?"

Deaton inclined his head into a nod, "for the most part. The ingredients are incredibly rare, but I started collecting them last year when I first found out what she was, in case we needed a safety net. I don't necessarily agree with stripping someone of their natural essence, but we need to keep the balance. It's a human, powerless Kayla versus possibly hundreds or thousands of dead innocents"

"Is this the only way?" Derek asked, "it just seems... Wrong. Kayla finally accepted what she was, and now you want to strip her of her birth right?"

Deaton looked pained but faced Derek none the less, "there is another way. Killing her" and Stiles' back straightened in shock, immediately on high alert, "or letting her destroy this town and everyone in it - including each one of you"

Malia just shrugged, "I vote the elixir"

"Me too" Kira nodded, "this way, it saves everyone"

"Will it hurt Kayla?" Lydia asked, not ready to make any decision if it meant hurting her best friend, glancing through her eyelashes at Deaton, "would stripping her of her power, cause her harm?"

Deaton swallowed thickly, "it won't be pleasant, but this is the only way to save her life and we are running out of time" he cast a daunting look out the window where the morning sun was starting to shine, the wind rattling the glass panes and heavy drops of rain pelted the building, "I know she's your friend, your family... Your love-" he glanced at Stiles as he said that, sympathy burning in his dark stare, "-but in this moment in time, she is the enemy and we have to rectify this problem. The balance mustn't be thrown out of order any longer. Opening hell dimensions and consuming human hearts? It's the work of evil, and it must be fixed"

"... Then let's do it" Derek spoke up, his voice unwavering with determination as he moved his gaze over each one of them, "if this is the safest option for everyone involved, then we're doing it"

Eventually everyone nodded but Stiles was the last one to agree, his eyes glazed over as his mind wandered, the pressure of this, this massive decision, weighing heavily on his heart. Kayla was his responsibility, the person he wanted to protect at all costs, and if he agreed to do something that hurt her or anyone else he would _never_ forgive himself.

"Stiles...?" Scott said gently, frowning in concern as he remained unmoving and unresponsive, "what do you think?"

He swallowed down his pain and confusion, sweat prickling his forehead as he glanced up at his best friend, "I think... I think um... I..."

Malia sighed heavily, her lack of patience winning out, "you in or out Stiles?"

He scrubbed an exhausted hand down his face, screwing his eyes tight shut until painful lights shot across his darkened vision, giving himself an extra few seconds to mentally prepare himself for what he was going to decide.

"I... I uh... I'm in" he settled on saying, peeling his eyes open to glance at his friends relieved expressions, "on one condition - no one hurts her"

Malia scoffed, "I think _her_ hurting _us_ is what you should be more worried about"

He glared at the werecoyote, " _no one_ hurts her" he repeated, his voice tense and peaked with irritation, "this isn't Kayla. Not really. I know it's hard for you to understand Malia, you didn't know her before - before _all_ of this, but if you did, you would be agreeing with me. She suffered so much... She deserves a second chance at life. At a _good_ life, one I want to give her. So please just trust me on this, alright?"

It seemed Malia was speechless, watching him curiously but eventually nodded and he bowed his head in thanks, just as Deaton asked Scott for some help with the elixir, stating it would take a few hours to produce.

A hand tapped his elbow and Stiles looked over, meeting Dylan's curious but hardened gaze, nodding his head towards the exit, "can we talk now?"

He swallowed thickly, feeling a bit more like his usual self as the sudden onslaught of nerves twisted his gut because this was Kayla's older brother - well, younger now, _whatever_ \- but he still had a fear of the Hales, and if Dylan was anything like Derek when it came to wanting to protect Kayla then Stiles was probably going to die.

Okay a little dramatic but c'mon, Hales were _incredibly_ terrifying.

He nodded silently, a heavy lump in his throat as he began to follow Dylan from the animal clinic but caught Lydia's gaze who just smiled reassuringly, nodding her head once to let him know that it would be fine, that he had nothing to worry about but his paranoia was still present, tearing him apart.

The rain immediately hit them when they peeled back the door and they made a mad rush across the small parking lot, getting soaked almost immediately before finding shelter in the jeep, Stiles slamming the drivers side door shut the same time as Dylan.

"Jeezo sis" Dylan muttered under his breath, running a hand through his hair to shake the rain from it, "ease off trying to drown us"

"Um... I guess you're wanting to know about Malia now?"

"Hell _yes_ I do" he stated, like Stiles was stupid for thinking it would be anything else, "what in gods name did you mean 'sister?' What have I missed?"

Stiles let out a small, ironic chuckle, "a lot. So I'm guessing Kayla didn't mention that uh... That Peter, who by the way is a massive dick, is her dad huh?"

Dylan's eyes went bug eyed, "uncle Peter? But he's... The fire..."

Stiles winced, "he healed. Actually, he turned into a murderous alpha to get revenge on the people that uh, that set the fire"

"But... That would mean that mom..."

A displeased expression expression crossed Stiles' face and Dylan noticed, backtracking slightly.

"Why didn't you like my mom?" He asked, "she wasn't perfect but-"

Stiles scoffed but tried to keep his anger in check - Dylan didn't know what his mother had turned into, he had to remain sympathetic, "she was far from perfect Dylan. And I'm sorry but I didn't like your mom, not after she turned her back on your sister. Actually _smiled_ when she saw her dead body. Told Kayla that she wished it was her that died and not you. Said it was better her baby died, than having her as a mom. She hated her because she was half Peter, and she was a nasty, vile person. Maybe not when you knew her, but that soon changed"

Dylan inhaled sharply, dropping his gaze in shame as he tried to process all of what Stiles had told him, without breaking down, without showing weakness - a Hale trait.

"So mom cheated on my dad with his brother, which means Kayla is not only my sister but my cousin as well?"

"Huh..." Stiles whispered, frowning as the realisation hit him square in the face, "yeah, I never thought about it like that before"

Dylan rubbed at his forehead, his headache throbbing even more now, "okay, so how does Malia play into this screwed up scenario?"

"She's adopted. Her real dad is Peter, mom unknown at the moment"

"... So she's my cousin, but my sister's sister?"

"Yeah, confusing isn't it?"

"You're telling me" Dylan murmured, sagging back in the seat, "this family is more screwed up than I thought"

"Have to agree with you there"

Stiles gave him a few minutes of silence, some time to try and sort through the new confusing mess that had just been dumped on him as he turned his gaze out the window, watching the droplets of water cascade down the glass, the old battered jeep swaying from side to side with the strong winds.

He remembered that sometimes the weather would mimic Kayla's emotions, when strong enough. That was one of her powers, one that she normally had control over. An exception that he could remember off the top of his head was the night Brian attacked her that night on old oaks road, how the sudden downpour of rain was not forecast but when the clouds erupted, it was down to Kayla's chaotic, terrified emotions. So he knew, the worse she got, the more angry and furious she allowed herself to feel, the more the weather would deteriorate and they would not only have to try and save Kayla, but battle the elements to do it.

"... You really love her, don't you?"

Stiles glanced over, wringing his hands on his lap, "yeah..." He said softly, "I know it mustn't look like it recently, _especially_ recently..." He added sadly, "but I do. **Always**. And I've made some stupid mistakes and I'll have to live with those, but she's... She's my world. I'd do anything for her"

"Was it worth it?" Dylan asked, and Stiles cocked a brow in confusion, "was taking a break, having sex with someone else, was it worth it?"

He inhaled sharply, his cheeks starting to flare red, "not one bit" he admitted, "I uh... I don't usually you know... Um... Do this, that, that sort of thing" Dylan frowned, quirking a brow down to his crotch before wincing sympathetically and Stiles blushed harder, shaking his head, " _no_ , no not like _that_ , it works just fine, I mean doing _that_ with other people, your sister is the only person that I had, y'know, before, and the only person that I would want to ever do that with and _holy god_ Stiles-" he cut himself off, "-shut up"

"Relax Stiles" Dylan slapped his shoulder, probably meant to be a light playful hit but it kinda hurt and Stiles winced, "I don't care that you have sex with my little sister, I'm an open minded guy. What she gets up to is none of my business, so you can stop looking so awkward now"

He breathed a sigh of relief, murmuring under his breath, "so happy you're not another Derek"

Dylan chuckled, "he's had you by the balls a few times huh? Metaphorically, of course" he added humorously.

"You could say that" he mumbled, "he's very... _Protective_ "

"Sounds like the same Derek I knew"

Stiles smiled briefly before glancing at the animal clinic, knowing his friends were working in there tirelessly, trying to find some way to fix Kayla before she destroyed everything in her path... He just hoped it would work.

"We can do it, you know?" Dylan said softly, "save her I mean. We'll get her back"

"Yeah..." Stiles murmured, casting his gaze back to the rain splattered window, "I hope so"

* * *

She stared out over the town, anger curling and boiling in the pit of her stomach. This town, the people in it, were _poison_. Or a virus that needed eradicated. This entire place was a hell hole - She hated it with _every_ fibre of her being, hated being here, remembering the time she spent here.

She stood at the edge of the cliff, surrounded on either side by trees as the edge of the lake shimmered up at her from the drop. She was not too far from Lydia's lake house, but here had the perfect opportunity to see the entire town in all its horrible, tainted glory. The perfect place to watch it burn to the ground.

But not yet. She had one thing she had to do. One last duty. In fact, if she didn't leave soon she would miss it. Only after that, would she be destroy the place that caused her so much torment.

"So little Hale-" the voice crept up behind her, his breath skimming the back of her neck, "-are you ready?"

She was ready to order him to back off, to give her some more time because she had something of great importance to tend to, but before she could open her mouth she ever so rudely got interrupted.

"No, she's not" and she resisted from clenching her jaw too tightly incase she cracked her teeth, sighing heavily as she turned around to see those people _yet again_ , the ones she wished would get off her damn back facing her, determination burning bright in their stares.

"Oh _yippee_ , the Scooby gang, how _cute_ " she mocked, "you're all either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid, something tells me it's the second one"

"Kaylz... Come on, stop this. Let's just... Let's go home, okay?" Stiles stepped forward, leaving Scott, Kira, Lydia, Malia, Isaac, Dylan and Derek behind him, trying the calming, reassuring, non lethal approach first, each one of his friends agreeing that he was the best person to try this out because, despite her viciousness, she wouldn't kill Stiles - or, well, they hoped, "with me, with us"

She laughed, "home? What's that, I don't have one of those?"

Stiles' eyes saddened, anxiously letting his fingers brush across the vile in his pants pocket, just to reassure himself that the elixir was still there safe and sound but Kayla saw that action, letting her eyes flicker down suspiciously before flitting back up to his stare, her anger growing, the rain hitting them harder, the sky even starting to darken.

"I was your home, remember that?" He asked gently, stepping forward again and flinching a little as thunder rumbled across the sky, trying to keep calm, to remain with his head in the game, "remember how happy we were?"

Her expression didn't waver from cold and detached, not even a flicker of emotion crossing her features, "I remember dying. I remember trying hard for you. I remember not being good enough for you. I remember you with her. That's not my definition of happiness Stiles" he flinched, the turmoil searing through his body and paralysing him to the spot, "and I don't care what you all came here to do, I've to be somewhere"

She made a move forward but Stiles finally got his legs moving, stepping in front of her and remained stubborn as her eyes flared, another rumble of thunder echoing above in response to her fury.

"No" he was determined to bring her back that his voice didn't even shake, his love for her outweighing any terror he had, "I can't let you do that Kayla"

Her entire face twisted into annoyance, "let me? _Let me?"_ She barked out, "you and what army, these idiots?" She jutted her chin to the small group just feet away from them. "I can destroy each one of you without even breaking a sweat"

"She can, you know" the nogitsune and his annoying presence was still there as he leaned against a nearby tree, watching them all with amusement, no doubt feeding on the conflict and chaos being stirred up, "she could _end_ you"

"Okay, you know what? I'm getting sick of your shit" Dylan stepped forward, his eyes beginning to glow that luminescent blue, face starting to morph into that of a werewolf, hair sprouting down his cheeks and claws extending from his fingernails, "I'll rip your throat out for touching her"

The nogitsune just smirked, quite unconcerned, "she wanted me to touch her, didn't you little Hale?"

Dylan snarled, ready to move forward but Lydia just grabbed his arm, "stop it, _don't_. This is what he wants. _You're giving him what he wants"_ she added, slightly more hysterical as Dylan made another move forward and she had to dig her heels into the ground, "he likes conflict. _Don't_ give him what he needs"

But he was still breathing heavily, his uncontrollable anger out full fledge, "I'm going to _kill him"_

Just as he almost broke free from Lydia's grip, Derek came up next to him and slapped a hand to his chest, his own eyes glowing, "Lydia's right. Stick to the plan"

He eventually fell back, not wanting to but his love for his sister won out, willing to do anything to get her back to normal, even sacrificing his need for revenge for the time being.

Kayla smirked, "plan? Oh you have a ' _plan_ ' do you?" She mocked, "wow, sounds interesting. Let me guess" her smirk widened, stepping closer to Stiles until their chests were touching, her hand slinking up his thigh, brushing the sensitive skin through his pants leg so his breath shuddered, "it has something to do with-" she cut herself off, her arrogant demeanour crumbling as she glanced down, watching her hand caress his pocket which was now empty, doing the same to the other one.

"... What are you up to?" She wondered, half suspiciously, half curiously, peering up at him, "what are you trying to do?"

He slowly raised his hand, relief spreading through his veins as she let him cup her cheek, "save you" he said simply, "one day, you'll understand"

"I doubt that" she deadpanned, grabbing his hand so quickly and batted it away it took him a few seconds to register what happened, stumbling back in shock.

"You can't save me, and now-" she let her eyes get swallowed up by that onyx black again, "-you can't even save yourselves"

She was prepared to end them all there, to kill them ruthlessly because she was unsettled, running out of time. She needed away from here, and they were causing her many inconveniences, ones she didn't need at this moment.

She _**had**_ to _be somewhere._

She raised her hand, letting her power wash over her, power that was burning hot and so potent it was sometimes getting too much, too exhausting, like it was trying to burst free, but she ignored that, ready to open up the ground to swallow them whole but Dylan shouting "now Stiles, _now_ " with such urgency she swivelled her gaze to face Stiles just as he slipped a glass vile filled with dark green liquid from his sleeve, ready to throw it at her feet so that once the glass broke the liquid would turn to smoke and engulf her body, transforming her, stripping her of her power but she let out a snarl, flinging her arm out and propelling the vile through the air and over the edge of the cliff so it fell straight into the lake.

She sensed their disappointment and lost hope, each one nearly cowering in fear as she turned on them.

"Rookie move, assholes" she exclaimed, the sky ever darkening as forks of lightning shot across the sky and she was like a volcano, shaking and bubbling and ready to explode, "you think you can double cross me? _Me_?" Her voice as loud as thunder as the ground started shaking and Stiles nearly fell over, falling back into Malia who steadied him, "I don't _need_ saving!"

Lightning shot from the sky, nearly engulfing them as it hit a nearby tree, a loud crack making them all jump as the rain got heavier, lashing down on them unrelentlessly as her soulless, empty gaze bore through them, "now you can watch as I burn your _precious_ town to the ground"

She flung her arms out and they each got knocked off their feet, her rage uncontrollable and unpredictable.

"I don't _need_ saving" she screamed, "I don't _need **anything**_. I don't _need **anyone**_ **"** and then she did the unexpected. She turned on her accomplice, shaking with untameable fury as she strode up to the nogitsune, her fist connecting with his jaw as he attempted to outsmart her strength, "you hear me? _**I DON'T NEED ANYONE"**_

She grabbed his neck with one hand, holding him where she needed, so much anger, so much _evil_ spewing from her that even the nogitsune begun to feel terrified - he had never felt... This. This unrelenting, pure, raw darkness from someone. It was eerie and unnatural, enough to make him begin to fear for his existence.

" _ **I DON'T NEED YOU"**_ she screamed, " _ **I'M MORE THAN YOU EVER WILL BE"**_ and with that she sunk her free hand deep into his chest cavity, breaking through bones and muscle to tear his heart clean from his body.

"You _disgust_ me" she whispered as the nogitsune gasped, glancing down at his ripped open chest, "you're weak. And sly. I've outgrown you" she added, the ground near their feet beginning to cave open as she tore her way through yet another hell dimension, pushing him closer to the edge so his heels dangled over as she finally smiled, "because now, you'll always remember that it was me... _**Me**_... The girl you tortured and warped for centuries, was the one to put you back where you belong" she pushed him further back so it was only her holding him up from falling, "is that irony I smell?"

And with that he fell, disappearing back into hell.

She felt a little off, like her power was actually hurting her from the inside out but she ignored it, stepping back so the chasm could repair itself, locking the nogitsune in nice and tight.

And now, all she had to do was kill these idiots and-

"Sorry sis" was all she heard, before something hit her so hard over the back of her head she blacked out, succumbing to the darkness.

* * *

"Are you sure this will hold her?" Isaac asked dubiously, watching Derek and Scott finish the herb circle around Kayla's unconscious body from where she collapsed in the woods, just feet from the cliffs edge, "she's strong. And powerful. This is just plant leaves"

"Deaton made it himself" Scott informed him, "wolfsbane and some ancient Brazilian herbs that encantados specifically do not like. It'll buy us some time"

"It better" he murmured, gulping loudly, "because she's waking up"

Everyone immediately stepped back, keeping their distance as Kayla groaned, pressing her palm to the back of her head as she sat up slowly, stenching the steady flow of blood.

"Didn't see that one coming" she muttered, flicking her gaze up to meet theirs, "well done little brother, you got one up on me. Remember it, because it won't be happening again"

"I don't want it to happen again" Dylan sighed, inching forward as she stumbled to her feet, "sis please... Stop doing this. Stop pushing away your emotions, it's not helping anyone"

"It's helping _me_ " she snapped, scoffing as she looked at him. "Maybe you should've stayed in the ground just like I should've"

He flinched but didn't drop his stare, "maybe" he agreed quietly, "but we're both here and we have to make the most of it. You're better than this"

"Am I?" She chuckled, folding her arms across her chest, "and how do you know? You've been gone almost three years, you don't know me"

"No, but they do" he glanced over his shoulder, looking at each one of her friends, "they're your friends, your family, and they're here, sticking by you because they care"

Kayla scoffed under her breath, "none of you _care_ " she snapped, starting to move forward and everyone held their breaths as she hit the invisible wall surrounding her, almost knocking her off her feet.

"You think this can hold me?" She demanded, pushing it again but with the same effect, "not for long"

"We didn't want this" Derek spoke up, "we just want Kayla back"

 _ **"SHES DEAD"**_ she screamed suddenly, fury spilling from her tone, " _ **KAYLA IS DEAD, STOP TRYING TO GET BACK A GHOST!"**_

"She's not dead. She's standing right in front of me" Isaac whispered, "my best friend is _in_ there somewhere, and I'm not leaving until I get her back"

"Then you'll be waiting an awful long time, fuck buddy" Kayla said, her voice eerily still, like the calm before the storm, they all sensed it, like something dangerous was brewing inside her.

"Kayla..." Despite the adrenaline and fear, Stiles' voice was sad instead of urgent, catching her off guard, "if you don't let us help you, you're going to die... Your power, it's too much. Taking Natália's power, and the power she stole from Andrés and Juan is gonna overload your system. It'll kill you, and everyone around you... You have to let us help you... You _have_ to let me save you"

She curled her lip at his words, sending him a displeased, ungrateful look, "you think I'm scared to die?"

"... Yes" he whispered and she narrowed her eyes, "I think you are, because some part of you wants to live"

"You are just..." She couldn't think of a word bad enough to describe him, her hands shaking with fury, " _unbearable_ Stiles. In fact, each one of you is" she was getting worked up, the sudden realisation that she had run out of time.

They delayed her. They stopped her. They attacked her, knocked her out for god knows how long and now she would miss the one thing she wanted to do, the thing she _needed_ to do, all because of their incessant need to _save_ her.

 _Everything_ she did, _**everything**_ had built up to this moment and now it was all wasted.

All gone because of _them_.

She started pacing in her own personal little prison, irritation leaking from her every pore, "you're all going to pay for this. **Every** one of you" she glared at the, resolve unwavering, "I became this person for her - I did it to help _my_ daughter, not that any of you could understand. And now it was all for nothing, you good for nothing pieces of _crap_. So thank you very much, really, _thank you"_ she spat bitterly, "thank you all for making me miss my daughters burial. You know, it's not like it wasn't hard enough burying her the first damn time, but the second was supposed to be _special_ , it was my _final_ goodbye. It was my chance to say goodbye and you've taken that away from me" she snarled, glaring at each one of her so called fucking friends, "everything I've done, _every little thing_ , was for her. To get her back home so she can _finally_ rest in peace and you… You selfish _bastards_ -" she snapped, "-couldn't even let her have that. Couldn't let me bury my dead daughter in peace"

Everyone gaped, feeling her distress and anger as it rolled off her in waves, not even realising, not even _thinking_ about Mia's funeral or when it was until just now - just now when it was too late.

"… We didn't know-"

" _Save it._ I don't _want_ your _sympathy_ " she scoffed, her eyes burning bright, "or your pity. I want you all to burn in hell… Along with this town. And it will" she vowed darkly, "it will _burn_ to the ground with everyone in it. This is my revenge… And all of you have just been marked"

Despite their warnings she used her power, the ground shaking, trees beginning to crack and fall as the weather turned dangerous, the wind picking up, rain painfully hitting their skin as she yelled, using every ounce of determination to crack apart this invisible force, the shield holding her captive until she broke free, stumbling from the confines and letting her eyes drown in onyx black.

"Any last words?" She asked coldly, revenge at the forefront of her mind.

Stiles stumbled forward, ready to take the brunt of her anger should he not be able to get through to her, but he still had faith in her - faith that his stubborn, hard headed, caring Kayla was in there somewhere - because, if he didn't, he had nothing left.

"You two are not all that good at the whole 'discreet' thing ya know? Ya may wanna work on that" he said, raising his voice to speak over the loud whoosh of the wind rattling around the, blinking against the onslaught of rain as Kayla quirked a brow, caught a little off guard at his mad ramblings that made no sense.

"It was the first words you spoke to me" he explained, "all the way back in that English classroom, do you remember?" He prodded, taking a careful step forward, "you were so playful, so confident, like you knew you could do anything and so damn beautiful. Kayla... The _moment_ you stepped through that door, you changed my life. You changed me for the better. And I know you're in pain... That you're suffering..." He empathised, "but we can help you. _I_ can help you. You're the woman I love... There isn't _anything_ I wouldn't do for you"

The extreme weather never escalated as she froze, staring at him in shock, her icy exterior slowly chipping away.

He gulped, realising this may well be his last chance to get through to her so he had faith and stepped forward, ignoring the others shouted concerns, "every day I just keep falling deeper in love with you because I know we're meant to be together. We are Kaylz. You're the one, and I don't care what you've done in the past, because your future is what matters to me. Our future. So please baby... Hear me. And... And accept my apology" he took another step forward so they were just inches apart, "I gave up on you, something I promised I would never do but right now, right this second, I'm going to make another promise to you that I will never lose faith in you again. That no matter what, you'll _always_ have me" he reached for her hand and she let him take it, watching him silently as he placed it over his chest so she could feel his heart, smothering her small hand with both of his, "Sophie means nothing to me. It's you I _love_... You I _want_ " he whispered, "till the end of the road, remember?"

Her demeanour cracked, her expression suddenly filling with remorse, "I... I missed her funeral Stiles" she admitted, and his heart broke at her crestfallen, devastated expression, "I _missed_ my baby's funeral"

"I know, I know Kaylz and I'm so sorry" he whispered, "I'm _so so_ sorry"

She closed her eyes briefly, trying to get a handle of these feelings suddenly swarming through her body, "I'm a... I'm a monster"

"No" he shook his head, "you're not. You're Kayla" he tilted her chin up, ignoring the chaotic weather around them because nothing else mattered, not now, "you're still the same girl that walked through the classroom door and stole my heart..." He pressed his forehead against hers, their wet skin dripping water, "... _**Always**_ "

And then he kissed her.

He kissed her like he hadn't ever done before, new found emotions being poured into the kiss as their mouths met in a slow, passionate frenzy despite they were all running out of time but Stiles didn't care. His girl needed reassurance and comfort, and he was prepared to give it to her.

He missed this - their closeness. The undeniable searing passion whenever they were in close proximity. He missed Kayla, but he was getting her back. He was fixing her, just like he promised he would do.

Her lips were fervent as she clung to him desperately, his hands cupping her cheeks longingly as he held her, but the ground quaking more violently ripped them apart, just as she hunched over and fell to her knees.

"G-Go... _Go_ " she gasped, pushing him away as he tried to help her, "you were right" she whispered painfully, "this power... I can't control it" an edge of panic and remorse in her voice.

He whipped around to his friends, looking for answers, for a solution but no one had anything - there was only one vile of elixir, only one, and it was gone. That was their only play.

He shook his head, tilting her pained face up to look at him, "I'm not leaving you"

She groaned, hunching over again, "please Stiles... _Please_ go, I'm going to... I'm going to... _Ahhhh_ " she screamed, clutching at her head as her entire body got engulfed in white hot agony, "I can't stop it. I _can't_ stop it"

"Baby I'm here, I'm here" he reassured, "I promise"

She screamed again, only this time it was much louder and more pained, her skin beginning to burn, "if you love me, _go_... I'll... I'll contain it, hold the power inside me until breaking point"

"No, no" he shook his head, reaching for her face again, "forcing the blast inside you will kill you-"

She pushed him away so he fell backwards, "take him away... _Save him"_

He tried to fight the hold but Dylan was strong, listening to his sister as he began to drag a flailing and kicking Stiles away as he screamed and cried for her but she hunched forward, digging her nails into the dirt as she focused so damn hard on containing this unstoppable surge of energy from escaping her body - if she held it down, stopped it from blasting from her, she could save some lives. She could save her friends. She didn't care want happened to her, just as long as she - _finally_ \- did some good.

It was agony, her power so potent it tore apart her body from the inside out as finally, all this energy imploded, a massive surge exploding inside her, splintering her very bones as she gasped, body giving way as she sagged to the ground and the last thing she heard was Stiles' pained scream of her name.

 **A)n) lol never intended it to be this long a CHapter but oh well haha so what do you think, Kayla prettttty badass, and bye bye nogitsune, lol and the hale family tree is fucked up, and stiles speech I found that cute haha anyway please please please review I seriously needed the support haha love you all, see you soon, thank you x**

 **Tumblr - fanficanatic-tw - done lots of edits recently, also come along and ask questions ha**


	54. Chapter 54 - Don't forgive me

**Disclaimer: teen wolf does not belong to me in any way, shape or form :( and a massive shoutout to hope, Ashleymcd25, Senjaninja, x XROWEENAJAUGUSTINEX x (lol you're totally right, evil Kayla isn't capable of feeling love, just possessiveness etc) linda96, BeccaSco, ShiannetheFangirlofEverything, CarleighAlpha, xnathiagrey, MaddieMiran and guest (I'm sorry you feel that way, but they won't forgive Kayla that easily, this will be highlighted in the next chaoter with a talk between Kayla and Isaac but I understand and thank you for leaving your thoughts and being nice about it, wishing you all the best sweetie :) ) for reviewing love y'all hope you enjoy X**

She was consumed by the pain, engulfed in its tight unforgiving grasp until she couldn't see anything past the bleak darkness or hear anything except the whoosh of her blood pumping frantically in her ears. It was a lonely terrifying experience and she knew this was her punishment. She had done so much bad, committed such evil acts that being greedy and absorbing all this power for her own selfish purposes was the final nail in the coffin. Her punishment was going to be worse than hell if she had to keep feeling this agony for just a second longer, her entire body on fire.

She writhed as she lost herself to the torment, worse than a hundred lashes to the bare skin of her back with a whips.

Worse than a thousand stab wounds to her abdomen.

Worse than tens of thousands of times of all her tendons getting slashed to pieces like ribbons.

Suspended in constant agony as her power, the power she _stole_ , completely ripped her apart - the perfect punishment.

And despite the scolding heat burning her insides, hotter than lava, a cold chill begun to spread right down to her very bones, an eerie feeling encasing her entire being. A rush of indecipherable, angry mutterings hitting her as they chanted her name over and over again, so full of rage it made her evil streak look tame.

It was the rush of death surrounding her, and they wanted her back.

The dead wanted her to _stay_ dead.

They were angry - _**furious**_ \- that she broke the rules of nature. That she was allowed to step foot back on this earth, when they had already claimed her.

The dead were wanting revenge, ready to haunt her until she gave up her chance at life because what's dead should stay dead. It all made sense now, all those weeks ago when she kept hearing those voices, the ones saying her name... It was the dead, coming to bring her back. Ready to pull her back kicking and screaming. She had one foot in the land of the living, and one foot in the grave.

Their voices were sharper than knifes, cutting into her brain and she screamed, wanting, no needing to succumb to the agony, to black out, for it all to just stop for a second but it never, it was ever present and all consuming and in that moment something inside her broke - not just because of the pain, but the guilt, the weight of all the crushing emotions she had pushed away for so long finally enveloping her.

The path to redemption was a hard one, and she wasn't sure if she had the strength to walk it.

* * *

"What the hell is happening? I said _what the hell is happening to her?"_ Stiles demanded heatedly, full out panic oozing from his voice as he laid Kayla out on the examination table, the pit of his stomach sinking and churning at her screams that tore right through him, avoiding her jerking limbs as she arched and writhed, her eyes rolled back into her head.

Deaton pressed his two fingers against the side of her neck, feeling her quick pulse as she thrashed about in mind numbing agony, the storm outside worsening the more torment she went through.

"The power... It's tearing her apart" Deaton said, as gently as possible grabbing her arm that was flailing, holding it as still as he could to inspect the steady bruises decorating up her arms - the repeated splintering of her bones and boiling blood injuring her from the inside out, "she's in a great deal of pain"

'No shit Sherlock' Stiles almost said in frustration, flinching at her unbearable screams.

"Then _do_ something" he ground out instead, having to hold Kayla down harder so she wouldn't fall from the table, "fix her"

For the first time in a long while, Stiles saw Deaton look very suddenly unsure and his heart plummeted through his stomach.

"I don't know how to"

Dylan pushed past Deaton, sending him a death glare as he brushed some sweaty, matted hair back from his sisters forehead, briefly closing his eyes as he tried to tune out her deafening wails of agony.

"You were our family's emissary, my aunt Talia spoke very highly of you so do what you do best... _Protect_ this family" Dylan implored, "help her"

Deaton sighed, flinching as Kayla screamed again, a pure raw scream of agony that deafened him as he finally nodded, nodding his head at Stiles and Dylan, "hold her down. Derek, Scott, get her legs"

Each one responded, moving to surround the table and help hold her flailing, jittery body down as Isaac, Malia, Kira and Lydia held back, watching anxiously.

"I might be able to neutralise what power is left inside her. _Maybe_ " he added, rushing about as he opened cupboards, grabbing different containers of herbs to mix them together, "it's a long shot but worth a try. Now let me very clear here-" he looked up, catching each one of their gazes, "-if this doesn't work, we don't have much time before she goes into sudden cardiac arrest. Her heart is beating at over 350 beats per minute, an average human can't sustain that rhythm. So do as I say, _exactly_ as I say, no matter how difficult, are we clear?"

Everyone nodded but Deaton caught Stiles' gaze for longer, like he knew that Kayla's pain and suffering was his weak spot.

"I got it" Stiles whispered, flinching as Kayla let out another deaf worthy scream and jerked, her back arching so high off the metal table her neck was craned all the way back, her limbs beginning to spasm as they all desperately tried to keep her still, to stop her body from flailing but it proved difficult, even with their combined strength.

"Hold her down" Deaton repeated, mixing his concoction together so it turned thick and pasty, sucking it up into a syringe.

"We're trying" Derek ground out, holding her leg but she still flailed, screaming loudly and Stiles watched tears slide down her cheeks, sweat dripping down the sides of her face and drenching her entire body and his heart ached, having to take a deep breath to try and calm himself down, to focus on saving her life.

"That's a big needle" Dylan gulped, cocking a brow as Deaton walked over, "where are you putting that thing?"

"Her heart - I told you this was our last resort" he added, "it's a stabiliser of sorts, encantados don't like these herbs, it's a kind of poison to them. My theory is if we inject it into her heart, it'll spread around her body quicker and hopefully extinguish the last of her power"

"Theory? Hopefully?" Scott didn't sound hopeful, "what if it doesn't?"

Deaton tested the syringe, watching the thick green gunk spill out of the small pin prick needle before glancing up, "then she dies, which she will anyway if we don't do anything. There's no time to debate this - someone open up her shirt"

Lydia moved forward, standing by Kayla's head as she shakily undid a few buttons of her shirt, tears glistening in her eyes, "please be right about this Deaton"

The vetenarian sighed heavily, "I hope I am"

He was prepared to plunge the needle down straight into her heart, to try his best and not kill her but she suddenly shot bolt upright, a surge of energy exploding out from within her which knocked them all backwards so violently they crashed into the walls, each feeling like they got hit by a car but that was soon forgotten about as Kayla screamed again, this time so loud and full of torment, everyone flinched and Lydia gasped, covering her ears which began to bleed. Kayla's scream tuned into whatever frequency banshees could hear too, unnerving Lydia right to the core.

Dylan grabbed Lydia's arms before she could slump sideways, covering her ears with his hands and telling her that it would be okay, to focus on his voice, to ignore the pain but only did Kayla's painful screaming quieten when she began choking on some blood, the thick dark red liquid frothing from her mouth and overspilling down her chin as she sat up, totally lost and helpless as the power ruined her from the inside out.

So Stiles did the only thing he knew he could do in that moment - whether it was the right thing or not, he didn't have any options left. He had to do something, anything, and just hope it worked out.

As everyone was groaning, coming back to reality from the painful blast they got, Stiles leapt up and grabbed the fallen syringe in his right hand, skidding over to the examination table and wrapped a single arm around Kayla's shoulders, pulling her broken body against his chest and then just as he aimed the syringe straight at her heart, murmured a faint "I'm sorry" against her sweaty hair before doing what he thought was once impossible: harming her, and possibly killing her. But he just kept telling himself over and over again that it was for the best - that he was trying to save her, that they had run out of options.

He kept telling himself this, but it did nothing to ease his worry, especially when she screamed as the needle penetrated her skin and sunk straight into her heart, her eyes snapping wide open as she flailed, reaching up to try and pull out the needle but he remained resilient and held her arm down, meeting her panicked gaze as he pushed the plunger down.

"I'm so sorry Kaylz" he whispered, watching the thick green mush disappear from the syringe and she gasped, her breathing immediately starting to slow down from its quickened pace.

"I know, I know, shhhh, I'm sorry Kaylz, I'm so sorry" he whispered, pulling out the needle and holding her as she started to sag and supported her against his chest, her mouth wide open into a silent scream, "it's okay baby, just breathe, this'll help you, I promise. I promised I would save you okay?"

She never replied, her breathing stuttery and weak as she stared up at him, that pained fire slowly stating to fade away from behind her eyes and he pressed a soft kiss to her sweaty forehead, looking over at Deaton as the vet stared back, shocked Stiles had willingly done what they all thought he wouldn't be able to do.

"Please... Please tell me I haven't just made the biggest mistake of my life"

Deaton swallowed thickly but moved forward, reaching out to feel for her pulse.

"It's levelling out" he informed them before tilting her head away from Stiles' chest to feel the heat or her forehead, "and she's not burning up. Kayla?" He asked softly, "can you hear me?"

Her eyes were wide but she never spoke, never even moved and Stiles' heart sunk, hearing her heavy, rattling breathing echo all around them.

"You'll be okay" Deaton reassured, giving Kayla a small smile before glancing at Stiles, "well done"

He didn't accept the praise, not yet, not until he knew for sure Kayla would be okay.

"Let her get some rest" Deaton advised, "she's injured and exhausted. Scott, can you call your mom, get her to come take a look at Kayla?"

"Of course" he ducked out of the room, already on the phone to Melissa.

"That was a close call" Derek murmured, his eyes sad as they fell on Kayla.

"Yeah, too close" Dylan muttered, helping Lydia stand as he found her some tissues to help clean up the dried blood caking her ears before moving forward, standing on the opposite side of the table as he glanced up at Stiles, "is she okay?"

"I... I think so" Stiles whispered, finally letting her lay back down on the examination table, wiping the sweat from his forehead, "oh god... I can't believe I just did that"

"You saved her life is what you did" Lydia whispered, smiling faintly at him, "you saved her, just like you promised you would"

He never said anything, just reached for her slack hand and squeezed it - he knew she was unconscious but maybe, just maybe, she could still feel him there for her, just like he vowed he would be.

Melissa had come around, as promised, and set up an IV to get some fluids into her, continuously taking her temperature and blood pressure but it soon fell within the normal ranges, it was just her bruises that concerned Melissa. She said it could be due to her bones fracturing but couldn't be sure until they got her X-Ray'd but that would have to be done when she was awake and conscious, but said she was okay. Another weight off Stiles' chest.

So he simply pulled up a chair and held her hand, tracing patterns on her cool skin and watching her sleep as Kira and Malia left first, followed by Isaac after he got an annoyed text from Paige and then Derek, telling them to phone him if anything happened, leaving just him, Scott, Lydia and Dylan.

"So uh..." Lydia whispered, not wanting to disturb the peace, especially when Stiles looked about ready to fall asleep with his head on the table next to Kayla, totally exhausted, "thanks for helping me back there"

He smiled boyishly, that playful flash glinting in his eyes, the exact same that Kayla used to have, "your knight in shining armour, am I right?"

"Let's not push it that far" she playfully remarked, a small smile lighting up her face, "I don't need saving, but uh... I'm not opposed to a little helping hand"

He chuckled, "well I'll be your helping hand anytime Miss Martin"

She flushed a little but dropped her gaze, watching as Stiles shook himself awake only to run his hand through Kayla's hair, whispering to her to wake up.

"You don't hate Stiles, do you?"

"Of course I do" Lydia whipped her head to the side with wide eyes, ready to open her mouth to protest but he just chuckled, "relax, I'm kidding. Of course I don't hate him. First off, I don't know the dude. Secondly, he's too dorky to hate, it would be like kicking a lost puppy. And third, anyone that can love my sister when she's full out evil, well, let's say I'm not gonna hate that guy. Especially because, well-" he glanced around the near empty room sadly, "-her friends resent her"

"They don't resent her, _I_ don't" Lydia reassured, "we're just hurt by what she did. And yeah, some of them may take longer to get over it than others. Kayla has done some terrible, _terrible_ things. They - _we_ \- just need a little time to forgive her"

Dylan nodded, "I get that. I just don't want her to feel like she's got nothing to come back for"

"We'll show her she does" Lydia reassured, "Stiles, you and me" she reached out for his hand, giving it a squeeze, "and Scott" she added, "he's loyal, more than you could possibly imagine. After what Kayla went through, I think it's made them closer"

"Do you forgive her?" He asked carefully, watching her expression fall.

"I... I don't know. She killed. She hurt. She was merciless. But I still love her, she's my best friend how can I not? So it might take some time, but I will forgive her, just like everyone else will, that I can guarantee you"

Dylan was just about to respond when Kayla gasped, flinching awake as she pushed herself up but when she did, winced in pain, hugging her injured and bruised arms to her chest.

"Whoa, whoa, easy, you're okay" Stiles rushed up, standing up so quickly he knocked the chair backwards, "you're safe, you're okay, I got you"

She whipped her head from side to side, tears blurring her vision, "no... No, stay away for me... All of you..." She shimmied herself off the silver examination table, her legs wobbling and nearly collapsing as pain flared up in them and she had to grab the table to stop from keeling over, "it's n-not safe"

"You're fine. We neutralised your power Kayla" Scott reassured, stepping up next to Stiles, "you won't hurt anyone"

She peered over to them sadly, her face fallen and suddenly aged ten years, "it's... It's too late for that. I already have" she whispered, shaking her head as she took another careful step backwards, "I-I hurt you. I k-killed you" her bottom lip wobbling, her gaze moving to Stiles, "you were in h-hell because of me"

"And you got me out, remember?" He said, "it was only for a day. Maybe two. I'm fine"

"No, no you're not" she shook her head quickly, "hell messes with your head. You probably saw-saw unspeakable things... You were so scared-" she started crying, "-and _I_ did that. I hurt you"

"Kez" Dylan whispered, "stop beating yourself up over this. Everyone's okay"

She didn't bother wiping at her eyes as the tears fell hard and fast, the guilt and remorse crushing her alive, "not everyone. Not the people I... The people I k-killed, they're not okay. They're f-families aren't okay. Oh god-" she closed her eyes, nearly collapsing from sheer exhaustion, "-I... _I_ did that. I did all that. It's not a bad dream" she whispered, "I did _all_ of it..."

Stiles didn't know what to say, his expression sad but desperate, "yes, you did, but you can make up for it. You can redeem yourself"

She scrubbed at her eyes until they were red, tear tracks tracing their way down her face, "no I can't. I can't. I can't" she was bordering on hysterical, shaking her head frantically, "don't forgive me. Don't _ever_ forgive me. I don't deserve it. Please... _Please_..." Her legs gave way, rocking herself In the middle of the floor, desperate wails escaping her throat, "please don't forgive me. H-Hate me, please. _Please_ hate me, _please_ "

And Stiles just shared a desperate look with his friends, no one making a move forward because an evil Kayla they could deal with, but this was a whole other kettle of fish.

 ** _\- Ten days later -_**

She was running. Running where, she didn't know. All she knew was she had to run. She had to run as far away as possible. Try to outrun the voices, the terrible guilt eating her alive from the inside out. Run from everyone she once hurt. Run to get the punishment she deserved.

Her bare feet were cut and bruised from the stones and twigs on the forest floor, leaving traces of blood in her wake as she cried out, clasping her hands over her ears, trying to drown out the deafening voices but they were loud and sharp and cut right through her.

She couldn't bare it.

 _She couldn't bare it._

She didn't realise when her bruised and battered feet came into contact with cool stone instead of the forest, was not aware of her surroundings as her mind collapsed. Tripping and sliding up the stone steps, falling so her knees scraped and she fell through the front entrance, tearing her hair from her roots as she did so.

She couldn't make the voices stop.

She couldn't stop the pain.

All her emotions that she repressed were back, drowning her, flooding her mind with agony. Everything she did, oh god... All those _people_.

She was suddenly wailing, trying anything to stop whatever this was, the crushing pounding inside her skull from all those persistent, angry voices. Some she recognised, others she didn't. All those she killed, all those that wanted her back. They were haunting her, combined with the rush of regret and guilt was not a good combination, her fragile mind too weak to withstand the torment.

Then she was sobbing, wishing things were different, wishing she wasn't such a terrible person.

 _She_ did this, _**she**_ did, and it was _all_ her fault.

More tears flooded from her eyes, drowning her as she turned around in a circle, screwing her eyes shut to try she stop herself from losing it - to stop herself from falling apart but it was too late, she couldn't think, couldn't rationalise, her mind far past broken.

She sensed people surrounding her, whether friend or foe she didn't care, she didn't have the capacity to, too broken to do anything but scream.

"M-Make them stop, make them stop, _MAKE THEM STOP"_ she wailed, pulling down more hair from the roots so under her fingernails turned dark with blood, "make them stop, make them stop, make them stop, _make them stop, stop it, stop it, stop it-"_

The voices were agonising, forcing her to look and remember everything she had done - it was too much, too much all at once.

She was already broken, this was just a step too far.

The others should've let her die that night - _anything_ was better than this.

Brunski grinned, nodding at the other orderlys to grab her and hold her still, smirking as she screamed and writhed and wailed in agony, her eyes flitting from side to side as she saw things, heard things that others didn't. How she came stumbling to Eichen house wasn't Brunski's concern, all he cared about was keeping her here.

"There there miss Hale" Brunski cooed coolly, "don't fight it, I always told you you would end up back here, didn't I?" He asked, prepping the sedation in the injection, "and you, my dear, well-" he grabbed her arm tightly, shoving the needle in so roughly she cried out, "-you were always one of my _favourites_ "

 **A/n) poor Kayla and poor everyone haha and that's a wee snippet/time jump after the next few chapters haha wow, Kayla gonna end up back in eichen house with asshole Brunski, yeah I'm terrible ha so please please review, need the inspiration, having a shitty time at placement and trying to update when possible lol love you all see you soon :)**


	55. Chapter 55 - Don't forgive me

**Disclaimer: teen wolf does not belong to me in any way, shape or form – anyways wow, thank you all those that have supported me, means so much, and a massive thankful shoutout to linda96, Blackbird1825, Ashleymcd25, hope, Senjaninja, x XRoweenaJAugustineX x and emzD34 for reviewing, you are all the best – hope you like this next update**

Was redemption even possible for her?

She doubted it. She didn't just make a mistake, or two. She made a whole bunch of them, constantly, continuously, a hundred times over. She had missed several chances at turning her life around – when Stiles took her into his home, and watched over her when she was so wasted she passed out for half the night. When she saved his life on the school roof. When he told her he loved her and would be there for her no matter what. When she started to feel, only to turn it off because she was drowning, overwhelmed completely. When they started sleeping together again, and Stiles wanted them to be 'them' again. An 'us', if you will. She had let love back into her life, only to turn her back on it over something as petty as revenge. She let her dark side win out yet again, and in doing so pushed away everyone in her life that mattered.

She was such a bad person – no, a terrible person. The worst really. She had strived to over the past two years to be at least semi good, to get her life on track, and now all her progress had been wasted. Maybe she had been fooling herself – maybe she was just meant to be bad.

"Kez, stop it. Pull yourself together" her brother murmured, dropping to his knees in front of her, his kind dark eyes filled with nothing but sympathy and burning desire to get he to see sense, "you can fix this, but not by breaking down on us alright?"

She didn't reply, just kept crying in anguish, the faces of everyone she hurt, everyone she killed, flashing across her mind.

"Sis… listen to me" he reached out for her hand but she flinched, pulling away, protecting him from her deranged, sociopathic self, "what you've done doesn't define you – you told me that, remember? After I… I hurt that woman when I shifted?" she screwed her eyes shut, trying to tune out his voice but he was hitting something inside of her, something that compelled her to listen to his softly spoken words, "I ended up killing her and it still tears me up remembering it, knowing what I did every time my eyes change colour but you… you helped me deal with it, just like how I'm going to help you, alright?"

She sniffed, nearly choking on the raw guilt that consumed her completely, "y-you made a mistake. I liked it" she peered up at him, eyes red and frame small and shaking, "I liked how powerful I felt. I e-enjoyed everything I did"

Dylan sighed deeply, "after what you went through, all those centuries in hell being beat down and made to feel small and worthless, it's not a surprise you liked being the one in control, it's human nature"

"No – _no"_ she shook her head violently, her vision swimming and blurring together as she pointed a finger at him, _"d-don't_ make excuses for me – j-just don't"

She was on the brink of losing it, Dylan saw it, hell they all did, and he just held his hands up, backing off slightly to give her space, not wanting her to do anything rash.

"I… I'm the b-bad guy" she murmured, "I am. I'm just like Peter" she whispered in realisation, "h-he was right. Apples don't fall far from the t-tree…"

"You're nothing like him" Lydia said full of certainty, " _Nothing_ "

Kayla just shook her head again, pushing herself back so she could stumble to her feet, ignoring the flare up of agony she was in because her pain didn't matter, it was what she deserved after all – and the emotional far outweighed the physical. Nothing could compare to the emotional agony she was in right now.

"I-I-I c-c-can't-c-can't-" couldn't what? Keep talking? Keep looking at them? Be in their presence, knowing how much crap she put them through? All of the above and more, unable to bear it.

"Kaylz, wait-"

No, she hurt him the most of all – the one person who loved her unconditionally, through thick and thin. The person that always had her back, even when she didn't have his. The person that continued to see and love the good in her despite her actions proving she was nothing but bad. The person that she hurt by not only betraying his trust, but making him watch her with other people, like a sick taunt. She hurt him worst of all, and he deserved better – better than her and her fucked up mess.

She shook her head, trying to keep it together, to not lose it completely, holding onto her sanity before she could break down and stumbled back against the wall, unable to look him fully in the eye.

"I'm s-s-sorry Stiles… for everything… I am s-so so s-sorry" she tottered back a few more steps, her legs burning in pain, "d-don't forgive me, but I n-need you to know that I am – that I'm s-sorry, I really really am"

That's all he had wanted since she had come back – not a half assed apology or a shrug of a shoulder, brushing off any and all responsibility but a proper, whole hearted sorry. And he had just got it.

"Kayla-" he whispered, "-baby I-I know you are, and I forgi-"

"No, no don't say it" she rushed out hysterically, "don't – just _don't_. don't forgive me Stiles, not after everything. Just don't" she waved her arms out, cutting off any protest any of them could come out with, not wanting to push her over the edge, "and d-don't come after me. S-Stop chasing me… I'm not worth it" she added tearfully, " _please_ …" and with that she took off – where to, she didn't know – all she knew was that she needed to escape, to get away from the people she hurt, her guilt too much. It was suffocating her, drowning her. She needed a moment to breathe, to gather her thoughts, try and understand everything that was going on inside her head so got out of there as fast as she could, choking back her cries of anguish as Stiles made a move forward, ready to run after her like he always did, wanting to wipe away her tears and dry her eyes but Dylan grabbed a hold of his elbow, pulling him back – he was always an avid supporter of trying to respect people's wishes, even if he didn't necessary agree with them.

"Give her some space" he advised sadly, "let her come to terms with… everything"

"She needs help" Stiles implored, pulling his arm away, "what if she-if she does something? Something stupid?"

"Kayla's the type of person that needs time to herself to sort everything out in her head, I would hope that the guy that's been dating her for over a year would know this"

Stiles flinched, dropping his gaze.

"Look man, I'm sorry" Dylan clapped his shoulder, squeezing it a little in support, "it's just… she's never been a sharing and caring person, even from a young age. If – and when – she wants to talk, you'll know, until then… maybe she needs some time to herself"

"Maybe" Stiles agreed quietly, staring at the exit in quiet imploration, "I just wish I knew how to help her"

"Yeah" Dylan whispered, "me too"

* * *

Her entire life she had felt like a failure – like she constantly wasn't good enough. Since moving to Beacon Hills that had improved – her self hate had decreased a little, and she learned to accept love even when, at times, she couldn't love herself but her entire seventeen years of life, nothing could've been prepared her for the sudden, overwhelming sense of self destruction and remorse.

She wasn't feeling entirely – that was, all her emotions hadn't come back, her ability to feel wholly and humanly, but what had was surely killing her. Or at least it felt that way.

The guilt – oh god, that was the worst. Like a constant knife in the gut, twisting and slicing until she couldn't breathe. She hadn't felt something this intense and all-consuming in… in, well, forever. Maybe that was why she couldn't deal with it, rationalise what she was really thinking.

So she ended up stumbling to the one place she had wanted to be at, to fulfil her final duties as a mother. She was late though, the night sky already beginning to engulf them like a blanket.

She had picked an empty plot next to where her family was – it was meant to be hers, or at least that's what the records said, her family being ready and organised and already having their plots handpicked, but she gave it up for just now for her daughter. Mia deserved to rest in peace next to her blood relatives, ones she knew would look after her, not her. Not Kayla.

She collapsed to her knees next to the freshly upturned, small patch of dirt. The funeral went ahead as planned, even with no one to attend. She had missed it – her final chance to say goodbye.

Tears rushed to her eyes, placing her palm over the dirt, "I'm so sorry baby. I-I should've been here. I should've been here because you needed me and I'm… I'm sorry" she said simply, her voice cracking with the strain of so many heart crushing emotions threatening to tear her apart, "I'm not the mom you deserve…. I'm selfish. And a failure. I've let you down t-time and time again. I couldn't even… I couldn't even keep you alive, or safe when I left you all cuddled up in the ground. And now you… you were buried, all alone, thinking I didn't care. You n-needed me Mia… baby girl… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… I did terrible things in your name, telling people what I was doing was for you when that wasn't true. I killed because I was angry. Because I wanted payback. You're too good, too innocent, to be stuck with a m-mother like me" she added, "and now I've… I've let you down again" she stroked the dirt, wishing she was able to just reach down and hold her daughter's tiny hand again, even if it was just bones, "I… I love you baby, even if I never showed it…"

There was no headstone, just a simple wooden plaque hammered into the ground which said 'Mia Hale' – getting a gravestone was a lengthy process, one that could take weeks or even months so for now her daughter had been reduced to a big plot for a tiny body, with nothing but a small, cheap wooden sign saying her name. She only had a minute of life, but since her death she had been put through so much. Moving graves, her bones being stolen, having an empty funeral service… she must be feeling so unloved, so unwanted, and just the thought tore Kayla to pieces.

"If it's any consolation…" she jumped at the sudden intrusion, skirting back on her hands and knees, "… we – _I_ – am really sorry you missed her funeral, if we knew…" Isaac sucked in a sharp breath, his baby blue eyes brimming with guilt, "we would've made sure you got to be here. Even if you were a terrible person, some part of you did love your daughter – or remembered what it felt like to love her at least. Maybe you did what you did for her was out of possession, 'what's mine is mine' sort of thing but who am I to question what or why you did those things. I'm just sorry you missed your chance to say goodbye"

She wiped at her eyes but more tears were ready to fall, dropping her gaze back to the dirt, imagining her little baby girl locked away in that casket, buried under tons of dirt – she must be so cold, so frightened… oh god…

"How did you find me?" she croaked out, avoiding his gaze.

Isaac eyed her warily, watching her be so dejected and sad, bruises evident on her arms and the winces she let out every time she moved – she was in agony but she was trying not to show that, hiding the fact she was tormented from the effects of the power surge exploding within her body.

"Stiles mentioned you had woke up but needed some time to yourself… I figured that you would come here, especially if your emotions really were back – or partly back at least. Your maternal instinct was always very strong when it came to Mia"

"And what are you doing here?" she still couldn't look at him, keeping her head down.

"I uh… I needed to talk to you – before anyone else could" he sounded serious, so serious in fact that it made her gut churn as she finally glanced up as he came to sit next to her, keeping a couple feet distance whether for her benefit or his she couldn't tell, "and I don't think you're going to like what I'm going to say"

Tears rushed down her cheeks but she didn't have the energy to wipe them away, "I-I deserve it"

"Hale…" he murmured, dipping his head briefly to collect his emotions, "there is only so much I – _we_ – can forgive. Being bad was a choice for you… at least later on it was. At the start, I was prepared to forgive you for everything because I understand what it was like to act out after being belittled and degraded for years. I got it. I survived abuse too, but that reason can only be validated for as long as the person felt like they had no choice. In the past few weeks, you had your friends. You had Stiles. You were finally acting like Kayla again but now… siding with the nogitsune, letting that evil corrupt you… that was _your_ choice" he stated sadly, "you turned your backs on us, you hurt us… you were our enemy, and no amount of I'm sorry's' can excuse what you've done"

Her entire body hummed with hurt despite his soft tone – he wasn't saying these words harshly, no, he said them with pity which maybe made it a hundred times worse.

"And as much as you were hurting… you still betrayed us. Betrayed me" he added, "my best friend… the girl I shared my toffee popcorn with and put a gummy ring on her finger, the girl I used to drool over in art class, the girl that I always wanted in my life. I had come to terms that we would never be a thing, but I didn't think I would ever want to let you go. Because whatever way it would play out, I always thought Isaac Lahey would have his Kayla Hale but now…" he trailed off, his expression void of any happiness, just anguish and torment, "now I think it's better for everyone, including you, if you go. If you go and never look back"

Her hands were shaking, realising just how badly she had screwed everything up. There was a point Isaac would do anything to hold onto her, to keep her in his life, and now he was prepared to cut all ties and let go. Why? Because she was a monster, and some things shouldn't be forgiven.

"G-Go?" she whimpered, "you mean… you mean run away?"

Her bottom lip wobbled, more tears rushing from her eyes as he winced, like her emotional pain was pure anguish for him, holding back from reaching out to her – Kayla had always been his soft spot, but he couldn't let that cloud his judgement. Not now. Not here.

"The things you've done… it's going to take a while for people to forgive that. And they shouldn't feel they have to, which they might if you're around. God Kay, I don't want to lose you, I don't" he shook his head, "but you're not the same girl, you understand that don't you? when I looked into your eyes that night… when you killed our friends-" she flinched like she had been shot, casting her stare down to her lap, "-there wasn't a single trace of the girl I love. All I saw was pure darkness, and letting that in was your choice. No one forced it on you. Not like the nogitsune did to Stiles. You chose that path, and now maybe… maybe you need to live with the consequences of that"

She wiped at her eyes, ignoring the pain in her hands from the action.

"I-It was my choice… I… I'm a monster"

"No" he reassured, reaching out to gently cup her cheek, "you were just lost. But that shouldn't be an excuse. I just think that being here, in Beacon Hills… it can't be your home, not after everything"

She bit her lip, leaning in to his touch as she peaked over to him, "then where is?"

He smiled softly, "I don't know Hale. I'm sorry"

She understood where he was coming from, and knew his words were the truth – he had the strength to say to her what others couldn't. It was what she was needing to hear.

"I… I don't want to be forgiven" she whispered, sniffing as Isaac swept his thumb across her cheek, trying to dry her tears but more fell in their place, "I don't deserve forgiveness. I deserve…. This" she shrugged, "this guilt. This pain. This unease. I deserve it all"

He didn't have an answer to that, watching her break down again and shuffled forward closer to her, trying not to let his distress show, almost biting back his words but he couldn't – not yet. He couldn't shrug off what Kayla did just because she was his friend. She had to realise that there were consequences for her actions.

"No… you deserved to live" he whispered, now cupping both her cheeks as he stared down at her, "you deserved a good life. You didn't deserve to be dumped in a hole that your best friend dug" still having haunted nightmares about digging her grave, how sick and anguished it made him feel, "and I'm sorry you never got that chance. If I could go back in time and change it, take your place, I would've. I would've gone to hell a hundred times over for my best friend, you know that don't you Hale?"

She never said anything, unable to even think of a single word let alone formulate a single sentence.

"Because you being like this, like you were… it broke my fucking heart Hale" he admitted, coughing to clear his throat, "and then we slept together and confused things, because I got a piece of you that I didn't think I ever would, but it didn't mean anything. It was empty. And it… it hurt. You hurt me that night, because you knew how much you meant to me, how I would give you the world, and you played me. And then hurting all those people… that was a Kayla I didn't want in my life. I want the old Kayla, my Kayla, the girl that I… well…" he whispered, dipping his head for a few seconds before going back to staring at her, "I want that girl that helped me find my place in this world, but you haven't been her for a while. She's still dead. And until you work through this, concentrate on trying to make things right, I can't… I can't forgive you. I want to but I can't. I'm sorry Hale"

"Don't be" she murmured quietly, their faces just inches away from one another's, "everything you said… it's right. I did hurt you. I realise that now, and I want to make it right. Not for your forgiveness, or theirs, but because I want to do good, or try to"

Isaac smiled a little, tilting his forehead against hers, "I'm sorry it's come to this Hale"

"Me too" she muttered, "I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough"

"Hey, you were plenty strong enough. For years. But everyone has a breaking point, the nogitsune found yours. That's nothing to be ashamed of" he reassured, tilting her head back up when she went to look down, "I hope that, one day, you manage to find peace with all of this" he added, "I want that for you Hale"

She didn't want it because she didn't deserve it but she never said anything, too consumed with guilt and grief to carry on speaking so Isaac just pressed himself forward, his bare lips brushing across her forehead so he could press a tender kiss to her sweaty skin, lingering there for several seconds and to Kayla it felt like a goodbye – goodbye because he wasn't ready to forgive the person she had become, even if he wanted to but his sense of reason outweighed the unhealthy need to forgive her. She understood and a part of her was glad.

He eventually pulled back, wiping at his own eyes, "you don't have to go, of course. I won't make you, but I think we both know it would be for the best. For everyone"

She nodded once, glancing back down at her daughter's grave.

"I'll give you some time alone" he stood slowly, but not before pressing another kiss to the top of her head, "you would've been a great mom Kay… I'm sorry the world robbed you of that"

And then he left – left her crying over her daughter and the guilt of everything she had done, regretting every single action and decision she has made since coming back to life, wondering if Isaac was right, if leaving really was the best thing she could do in the circumstances.

Maybe it was, leaving people to heal and move on with their lives, or would it be seen as running away, being too weak to even try and make up for what she did?

She didn't know.

She just… didn't know. Not anymore. She wasn't confident or sure, or even aware of what path she should take. For now, she was just a sad, empty shell of who she once was and from now on, it would just continue to get worse.

* * *

Stiles knew he should listen to Dylan, after all he was Kayla's brother, he knew what she needed but you see, Stiles' wasn't a very attentive person. Things usually went in one ear and out the other, his inability to stay calm and collected winning as he, after barely two hours, went looking for her. He knew she needed space and time, but she also needed support. The latter maybe more so.

So he went where he knew she would be – the cemetery.

It wasn't a hard guess – she missed her daughter's funeral, where else would she want to be? He knew Kayla, and he knew her maternal love would win out on this one.

So he drove there as quick as he could, anxiety eating him up as he slipped out of the jeep and scurried across the ground, shining his phone torch over the grave stones until he came across a small patch of freshly dug dirt and his heart plummeted when there was no sight of her, just a freshly picked single daisy resting on the mud.

He sighed sadly, squatting down to look over the grave, "hey kid… I'm sorry I made mommy miss your funeral – don't blame her, it was my fault. This is my fault. All she wanted was you safe… she's a good mom" he spoke softly, "she got you back because you… you are her everything, alive or not"

He stroked the dirt one last time before standing up, sighing heavily as he went to move back to the jeep, totally dejected, but heard some faint sniffles and froze, shining his light ahead of him as he moved quickly through the headstones and followed the noise until he came across a crying Kayla leaning against Allison's headstone, knees tucked to her chest as she gazed out at the bleak expanse in front of her.

"Kaylz…" he whispered, his heart splitting in half at her distress, "you shouldn't be out here by yourself" he kneeled next to her but she ignored him, too caught up in her grief to fully notice him, "its late, and cold, let me take you home…"

She remembered Isaac's words, how he felt she couldn't have a home here and agreed with him – she couldn't settle in this town, or look anyone in the eye, knowing what she had done.

She shook her head, wrapping her arms around her knees, "my home is here – or it should be" she murmured and at first he didn't get it, confused at her words until it hit him like a ton of bricks – she was here, in the cemetery, because she believed she deserved to be here, next to all the other dead bodies.

"No, your home is with me. With us" he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, a sharp sting shooting through his as he caught sight of Allison's name in the beautiful black scrawl across the grey stone, "let me take you home Kaylz. Let me look after you"

She shook her head but accepted his comfort, burying herself into his chest as she clung to his shirt, "A-All the b-bad things I did Stiles… I k-killed… I h-hurt, mani-manipulated – say you hate me, _please_ , say you hate me"

"I don't hate you Kaylz"

She pulled back, peering up at him frantically, "Yes you do, you do, so say it. Say you hate me, please"

Tears blurred his vision but he held them back, watching her crumble and crack apart, "I don't hate you"

Her fists grabbed tighter at his shirt in desperation, her eyes rimmed red and heavy as she started to lose it again, " _hate me_ Stiles. Hate me, hate me, hate me"

"I can't baby, I can't, because if I do… if I let myself… I'm scared that I'll…" he held her by the shoulders, trying so hard not to cry as they both fell apart by their friend's grave, "… that I'll never forgive you. and you Kaylz… you're the one person that I need in my life, and I don't want to imagine a world, or a time, or a future that I resent you"

Her hands slackened around his shirt, gasping back some panicked breaths as she collapsed in exhaustion against his chest, totally overwhelmed.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you Stiles… I'm so sorry…"

"I know" he murmured, hugging her to his body to try and calm her down, "I know baby" nuzzling into the side of her head, his senses getting overwhelmed by her familiar smell that engulfed him, keeping him calm and rooted to the spot.

He couldn't take his anger and frustration out on this Kayla, not when she was already so fragile. He didn't have it in him to break her heart, not again.

 _Never again._

 **A/N)))) AHHHHH whoops, so yeah a little Isaac and kayla and stiles and kayla im bad haha sorry for the little bit shorter chapters, just with placement and everything but once that's over (three weeks yay) more longer and wuicker chapters hahaha so please please review and let me know what you thought pleaseeeeeee dying to know, love you all, see yall soon x**


	56. Chapter 56 - Dissociation

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any way, shape or form – anyways a massive and thankful shoutout to linda96, Hope, Ashleymcd25, jk522, Guest, EllieDragon and Senjaninja for reviewing youre all fab, hope you like this long chappie**

 **Also, some warnings: this is a heavy, angsty chapter (lol, I know, whats new?) but it is mainly centred around Kayla's rape experience, and the process around that – admittance, examinations, etc, so if some don't feel comfortable with that its just a heads up x**

Stiles brought her back to his house, carrying her so she wouldn't have to walk on her injured legs, holding her and not letting her go as he tucked her up in bed, hushing her cries as best he could. And it eventually worked, she ended up drifting off to sleep just as the sun started to rise, clinging to his shirt for dear life.

"It's okay baby, I've got you" he would whisper every now and then, stroking her hair, reassuring her as best he could, "you're safe now"

He hoped some part of her would hear him and believe his words, easing her distress, even a little.

Around eight he fell asleep, holding her close as he listened to her breathing but when he woke just a few hours later she was gone. He had panicked, his heart palpitating until he got a strained phone call from his dad saying that Kayla was here, shouting about wanting to get arrested and locked up so he drove as quick as he could, running into his dad's office who was desperately trying to calm a frantic Kayla down.

"Kayla, sweetheart-"

" _No_ " she shouted, "stop it. _Arrest me_ " she was demanding as he entered, huffing and puffing for some much needed air, "lock me up. Do it. _Now_ " she was screaming, cheeks flushed and eyes wild, "I'm a _murderer_ "

"Shhhh" he hushed, waving his arms out as he cast a nervous look to the deputies outside, quickly shutting the blinds, "Kaylz, baby-"

"No I won't be quiet, it's the truth" she exclaimed, "I killed. I hurt. So _do_ something" she looked back to his dad, desperation in her eyes, "punish me"

"Kiddo…" his dad sighed, "I'm not going to arrest you-"

She let out a sound of frustration, tears blurring her eyes, "I'm a _bad_ person"

"No" the sheriff disagreed, stepping forward at the same time Stiles did, "you did bad things, there's a difference"

She shook her head, the guilt eating her up, "please just… just do something. Lock me up. Shoot me. Kill me, I don't care just… just do _something_ "

"Kaylz…" Stiles gently grasped her shoulders, letting her sag back against his chest, "these emotions you're feeling, this guilt and despair but it will get better, you just have to be strong"

"I… I can't stop seeing their faces" she murmured sadly, "everyone I… I h-hurt… killed… there's so many of them and I-I did that" she glanced between the two with wide, terrified eyes, "I ruined so many lives and-"

"Shhhh, it's okay" he reassured, pulling her into a hug, "it's going to be okay. Let's just get you home alright?"

She shook her head against his chest, "I-I don't have a home, not here, I-Isaac was right-"

"Excuse me?" he cut her off, pulling away and cupping her tearstained cheeks so she was forced to meet his stare, "whatever that idiot told you, forget it. You will always have a home here, with me, _always_. Isaac is wrong, whatever he said, do you understand?"

She was crying faintly, green eyes full of despair, "he just said what everyone is thinking…"

"No, he didn't" he shook his head, "I promise. C'mon" he took her hand, "let's go home, together okay?"

She didn't say anything, blindly following him from his dad's office but stopped short as she caught sight of someone she didn't recognise at first, a deputy, and something about him – maybe it was the way he stood, or spoke, or maybe the quirk of his lips as he chuckled about something his fellow deputy said, but whatever it was made her lungs exhale what little air there was.

Her hand slipped from Stiles', her knees shaking as she stepped back, collapsing onto the wooden bench just outside the sheriff's office, her eyes wide and unmoving from that man.

Her stomach was churning, every atom in her body feeling like it was dropped off the deepest abyss, tears filling her eyes.

Her entire body erupted into chills, hearing his voice speak words, horrid words, against her ear despite not even seeing him speak – his voice, she had heard it before… heard it say horrible, vile words to her…

That sinking feeling continued to escalate, her stomach plummeting as she watched, eyes trained solely on his figure. She didn't know where this sudden dread came from, or why she was feeling so terrified, like all the breath had been knocked from her. It was like some part of her recognised something she wasn't entirely aware of – or didn't want to accept.

"Kayla…?" Stiles' gentle voice tried to snap her back to reality, watching her completely shut herself off from what was going on around her, following her line of sight to find her staring at one of his dad's deputies busying about by his desk, confusion flaring through his body, "Kaylz, what is it?"

She never replied, whatever words she wanted to say sticking in the back of her throat because those eyes, the ones she was watching… she had seen them before, and not here at the station. No. She looked into those man's eyes and felt so much dread and disgust she was almost sick, nausea welling deep in her gut.

She remembered the feel of his stubble scratching across her skin, the heat of his lips, the rough grabbing of his hands and that low, arrogant voice as he whispered in her ear…

She completely froze, stiffening in daunting realisation and terror overtook her, her hands curling around the edge of the bench as she watched him laugh with the other deputies, grabbing his keys off his desk and started to make a move forward, their eyes clashing for a second.

At first, he looked slightly panicked at her distress, like he knew she knew but brushed that away, sending her a warning glare as he dipped his head and weaved his way between the desks to head toward the exit.

 _'Aw, I know you'_ she remembered him saying, mocking her, _'I used to see you all the time at the station in those cute little shorts. so-'_ he had unbuckled his pants, _'-how about you learn what a real man is like, you just fuck around with weak boys - the sheriff's son is useless... uh huh, that's right, scream all you want but no one's coming for you... no one...'_

Stiles watched her, recognising that look in her eyes – shame and guilt, but also fear, fear so strong it completely floored him and he glanced up, continuing to follow her line of sight as he watched his dad's deputy leave the station and his gut churned, all the colour draining from his face.

"No…" he whispered, snapping his head back to focus on Kayla but she had completely zoned out, tears filling her eyes as she gripped the bench for dear life and this fiery rage consumed him, standing up off the bench, his fists curling.

His dad's deputy…?

Arrogant, cocky Mayfield?

The police were supposed to protect, to do no harm, not… not take advantage of a seventeen-year-old, passed out girl.

He took one look at Kayla, saw her fragile exterior beginning to crack again and turned on his heel, pushing past anyone that got in his way and threw open the door so he was engulfed in the bright sunshine, the deputy's broad, imposing figure only a few steps in front of him as he headed towards the cruiser.

"Mayfield?!" he barked out, spitting fire as he felt that darkness and rage consume him but didn't even care – he was mad, no, he was raging, _furious_ , ready for heads to roll because no one, _no one_ , got away with hurting her. _**No one.**_

The deputy froze and turned around, quirking a brow as he glanced at Stiles, his dark eyes brimming with nervousness but played it cool, brushing a hand through his jet black locks as a small gust of wind blew his hair across his vision, running a hand down his unshaven stubble and Stiles saw red.

"Yeah kid?"

He couldn't even think about what he did, just the thought alone made Stiles sick to his stomach so he lunged forward, grabbing a fistful of his uniform and swung out with his right hand so it collided with Mayfield's jaw, his head whipping painfully to the side.

"You sick _bastard_ " he spat out furiously, punching him again before the deputy could even think about defending himself, "you should've _never_ have laid a hand on her" and with that his fist hit him so hard he stumbled back into the cruiser, his lip split and bleeding but Stiles didn't care – he deserved everything he got and more, no sympathy whatsoever for this man.

Mayfield – first name, Stiles' didn't know – reached out to grab him around the neck, trying to escape his grip but it was futile, this rage had engulfed him to the point of no return and he didn't care, knocking his hand away and elbowing him in the face so his nose started gushing with blood, a sickening crunch echoing around the parking lot.

"Did it make you feel powerful huh? _Did it?"_ he demanded, slamming him back against the cruiser and holding him there, "did _forcing_ yourself on my girlfriend make you feel in control?"

He punched him again, ready and willing to beat him down until he had stopped breathing – he would be doing the world a favour if he did. For all he knew it might not have just been Kayla, he could've done this to others too, and maybe him wearing the deputies uniform made others too fearful to speak out for backlash.

"I'm gonna _kill_ you" he threatened lowly, spit flying from his mouth as he watch Mayfield try to breathe through the blood spilling into his mouth, "I'm going to kill you _you son of a bitch-"_

"Stiles, stop it" His dad barked out, running from the station with Parrish hot on his heels, _"back away"_ but Stiles didn't listen, continuing to pummel Mayfield until his dad got a hold of him around the chest and yanked him back but Stiles wasn't finished yet, not until he saw Mayfield broken and bleeding and fought his dad's grip, twisting and turning as he got ready to explode, Parrish grabbing Mayfield before he could collapse, holding him still against the cruiser.

"I'm going to _kill you_ , you hear me? You're _a dead man_ Mayfield-"

"Stiles, **stop it"** His dad was furious, trying to pull him back further but Stiles was having none of that, his feet scuffing across the gravel as he elbowed his dad, escaping his iron wrought grip and lunged forward again, knocking Parrish out the way and wrapped his hands around Mayfield's neck, slamming him back into the cruiser and tightened his grip so his eyes bugged from his head, immediately feeling the effects of lost oxygen.

And it took the efforts of both his dad and Parrish to pull him off Mayfield before he could kill him in cold blood, his dad bearing most of his weight as he dragged him backwards, furious with his son for lashing out like a man possessed.

"Stiles, what _the hell-"_

"HE _RAPED_ HER!" he shouted, and everything went quiet after that. Everyone froze, even him, sagging in his dad's grip. It was like that admittance, those words, took everything out of him and more. The pure and real realisation sinking in.

Tears blurred his vision, exhaustion and sadness making his legs almost give way as he shook his head, "dad he… he raped her. He… h-he…"

Mayfield spat out a mouthful of blood, eyeing up Stiles in disgust as he shrugged off Parrish's hands, "that little _slut_ has had half this town between her legs, her word means _nothing_ "

Stiles saw red again, fighting against his dad's hold but his dad was prepared this time, not letting his son go despite his flailing to take out all his anger on the deputy.

"The only thing I'm guilty of is not covering up – god knows where she's been" he added, throwing a heated glare to Parrish who attempted to shut him up, "and, what? We're supposed to believe her word when she doesn't even know the names of all those people she screwed? What we did was consensual" he lied smoothly, spitting out more blood, "sorry your girlfriend is a lying whore-"

"MAYFIELD!" but to everyone's surprise it wasn't Stiles shouting, it was the sheriff, his glare worse than anything Mayfield had ever seen before as he attempted to calm Stiles down while holding him back, "keep your vile words to yourself. Parrish – put him in the cells" Mayfield made a move to protest to that but the Sheriff continued on without hesitation, "and get him a medic. Now"

"You can't be serious" Mayfield exclaimed, shaking his head quickly as Parrish grabbed his arm, leading him back towards the station, "your idiot of a son attacked _me_ and _I'm_ getting locked up? This is wrong – I didn't do anything wrong, there's no evidence-"

"There is evidence" The sheriff glowered at him, holding a fuming Stiles back as he pointed to the station, "there's a girl in there whose life you've ruined and who has to be subjected to remembering everything you did. I'm placing you under arrest for rape, you don't have to say anything-"

"Cut the legal rights crap" Mayfield exclaimed, trying to escape Parrish's grip but it was futile, both disappearing through the door and once the sheriff knew it was safe to let Stiles go, he did, his eyes saddening as he watched his son hunch over, his cheeks splotted red from rage and shame.

"Stiles…"

"He raped her dad…" he whispered quietly, "I saw her face… she was remembering everything when she looked at him, everything he did… they did" he corrected, "I… I would've killed him. I would've" he nodded, staring over to his dad, "I would've killed him and felt nothing"

Chills erupted down the sheriff's spine but he repressed his concern, cupping his shoulder in support and he guided his son back to the station, hoping by now Mayfield was locked away in the cells for everyone's protection and safety and spotted Kayla still sitting on the bench outside his office.

"Everyone – clear the room" he instructed loudly, causing each one of his deputies to furrow their brows in concern, glancing up from their desks, "I said clear the room. _Now_ "

His authoritive tone was enough to make his deputies leave without even questioning him, sending each other wondering looks but only when the bullpen was clear and everyone out of hearing distance did the sheriff move forward slowly, his eyes silently asking Stiles to stay back as he tried to deal with this situation.

Of course he didn't listen, the sheriff didn't expect him too, but he hovered behind him, giving his dad space to do what he needed to do but was close enough to intervene or help if need be.

"Kayla, sweetie-" he said as softly as he could, lowering himself to his knees in front of her as he tried to catch her gaze but it was bleak and out of focus, eyes wide as she seemingly stared at nothing in particular, "-is there anything you want to tell me?"

He understood she might not want to say – and that was totally within her right, but he wanted to make sure she felt safe and unjudged, ready to speak if she so wished. Not by forcing her, god no, just so she knew he was ready and willing to listen and take action if she wanted.

Her nails dug into the wooden bench, trying to pull herself back to reality, to snap herself from this dissociative state she was in as she blinked a few times, the tears that were once frozen, suspended on her eyelashes now fell down her cheeks and the sheriff's heart ached, wanting to reach up and take her into his arms but refrained from physical contact, not wanting to scare or push her.

He waited patiently for her to talk, to do or say something, anything, but the shock was rooting her to the spot, her mind in complete shambles. All she could see was his eyes, smell his powerful cologne, remember the pain he caused her – it was too much, too much for her to handle.

The tears dripped off her jawline, her breathing escalating until the sheriff was sure she was bordering on a panic attack, ready to call this whole thing off – if she wasn't ready, she wasn't ready, it was completely her choice but she gasped loudly, catching the sheriff's worried stare.

"I… I didn't want it" she whispered, voice cracking as she slowly shook her head, intruding thoughts of everything that had happened invading her mind, "I-I didn't w-want it. I d-didn't want it. I didn't _want_ i-it but they m-made m-me- _he_ m-made me and-and I… I s-said no. I said _n-no"_ she exclaimed loudly, "I said no but they d-didn't stop – why didn't they s-stop?"

She broke down into fresh tears, pulling her knees to her chest to cry and the sheriff wiped at his own eyes, meeting his son's mutual broken stare.

He reached out to touch her boot clad foot, "it's okay kid" he reassured, "he'll never hurt you again, I'll make sure of it. I promise you that"

* * *

Once he helped her calm down, he asked if she would like to report this. To report this properly so it could be investigated and she had just nodded, totally clamming up. He then explained that, if she was willing, the hospital could do an examination, maybe finding some evidence – a rape kit they called it, but that it was totally up to her.

She nodded again, too numb to speak and he asked his son if he could fetch her a blanket which he did and the sheriff wrapped it around her shoulders, keeping her safe and warm as he helped her stand and walked her out to the sheriff's cruiser, making sure she sat in the front so she wouldn't feel like a criminal and said to Stiles that it was probably best if he met them at the hospital, that in her state it was probably best not to crowd her.

Stiles had begrudgingly accepted that, giving Kayla one last sad look through the passenger side window and told his dad to look after her, before dragging his feet to his jeep and the sheriff rubbed a tired hand down his face, slipping into the driver's seat and starting the engine.

"… He was right. That deputy" she whispered, not looking at him, her head lolling on the window as she stared blindly out the glass and the sheriff threw her a concerned glance as he drove, "I am a whore, I don't remember everyone that I had sex with… I… but I… I was really drunk" she added, "I took a bunch of stuff because I… I was ready to die" she admitted, "I wanted to just keep drinking until it killed me but… but someone-someone took me away… and they hit me… and touched me… and undressed me…" she was holding back her sobs and the sheriff swallowed his disgust, his hands tightening around the steering wheel, "and they-they took turns until… until I stopped saying no because I… I was numb. And no one came to help me. Three… or maybe four now, however many of them there was… they… they um…" she couldn't get the words out, her voice falling silent.

"You're safe now" he said quietly, "I won't let them get away with this. I'll do whatever it takes kiddo, I promise you that"

She still never looked up at him, staring blankly ahead out the window, "… they already have gotten away with it…"

He didn't know what to say to that – how he could say how damn sorry he was that his deputy, a man he had trained, did something so unspeakable to her and he was none the wiser so he just bit the bullet and reached out to touch her forearm, hoping a little friendly touch would help.

She didn't flinch, too zoned out to even realise the gesture and he pulled up to the hospital, parking haphazardly and met Stiles as soon as he stood up out of the car, his son's face one of concern.

"let's get her out of the cold and away from prying eyes" and Stiles nodded, being nothing short of loving and gentle as he carefully opened the passenger side door and knelt on the ground, reaching out to carefully cup her jaw so she could look at him and the sheriff watched as she naturally and indistinctively trusted him, meeting his stare.

"Are you ready?" he murmured, not forcing her or pushing her, remaining calm and gentle, the polar opposite to how he was half an hour ago as he was ready to kill Mayfield.

She sniffed tearfully, "I've left it too late… it's been days, they won't find anything…"

He slid his hand up to cup her cheek, his thumb swiping out to dry her tears, "they might" he reassured, "and I'm going to be there every step of the way, alright? I won't leave you, not again, I swear"

She swallowed thickly, "my word means nothing… everyone knows what I am. A stupid slu-"

"No baby" he whispered, cutting her off as he cupped both her cheeks, shaking his head, "you're not. And together we can put these people away for a very long time"

"You said it yourself" she murmured sadly, dropping her stare, "you said I was just a-just a slut"

He winced, her sad spoken words like a punch to the gut, "and I hate myself for ever saying that because it wasn't true. I was a dick and didn't mean what I said, I promise"

The sheriff watched as he calmed her down, helping her stand, her injuries from that power surge still affecting her but he held her close and walked with her into the hospital, helping her sit down as the sheriff walked up to the nurse's station.

"Melissa" he sighed, watching as his friend glanced up in concern at the seriousness of his tone, "I don't know the proper procedure to these things but um…" he glanced over his shoulder, watching his son wrap an arm around her shoulders and hug her into his chest, "you should probably get a sexual assault nurse if you have one at this hospital, there uh…"

Melissa's eyes saddened as she peered over her shoulder at the two teens, "of course. Take a seat and I'll call her in"

He nodded, silent communication passing between the two as he backtracked and sat down next to the two teenagers, not quite sure what to say but maybe his silence was for the best at the moment. He wasn't even sure what to say, totally lost for words. But Stiles just held her, combing his fingers through her hair as he whispered that everything was going to be okay, that he was here for her now, that he didn't blame her, that no one would blame her, reassuring her and hushing her cries – cradling her like both hadn't been to hell and back and their relationship wasn't in tatters.

A little under fifteen minutes later, a short, brown hair woman approached them and smiled kindly, dropping to her knees in front of Kayla.

"Miss Hale… if you would like to continue with this process, we have a room prepped and ready"

She picked her head up off Stiles' shoulder, eyes hollow and numb as she gripped his hand tighter, not wanting to let go and he sighed sadly, glancing down at the nurse but she shook her head glumly, letting him know that he couldn't go with her.

"I won't be far if you need me" he promised and fresh tears escaped her eyes.

"But… you promised you wouldn't ever leave me again…"

His heart broke at her words, stroking her cheek with the back of his fingers, "and I won't. _Ever_. Just remember I… remember I love you okay?"

She almost burst out crying but remained silent, holding back her tears as she nodded, trying to be strong, to not break down again. She could do this – she could.

"Y-You believe me, don't you?" she whispered, for his ears and his only, "even if they can't find anything... you'll still believe they r-raped me, wont you?"

That tore him apart, that she would even think he would doubt her, intertwining their fingers, "I'll always believe you Kaylz - _always_ "

She sniffed, trying to not completely lose it as she stood, dropping his hand as she allowed the nurse to guide her down the long corridor and around the corner, finding their empty, calming room all prepped and ready as she sat down on the bed, the nurse ready with a pen and paper in hand.

As soon as she had disappeared from sight, Stiles scrubbed a hand down his face in exhaustion, sagging in his seat as he prepared himself for the anxious wait ahead of him.

* * *

She was asked if she would like an advocate there, someone to wait with her through the process but she shook her head, a silent no. The nurse accepted her answer, asking questions about what had happened and although she was kind and gentle, she still felt like she was getting interrogated.

What did she remember? How many attackers were there? Was she drugged? How long ago? Did she still have the clothes she was wearing that night? At that she shrugged, saying she left them at her friend's, that the son of Melissa McCall was the person she went to for help so the nurse, whose name Kayla already couldn't remember, asked her permission to get his contact details and ask him. She said there could still be crucial evidence on them, so she just nodded once again, left alone in the white room as the nurse made contact.

She didn't remember much about the actual examination – maybe she was too out of it, too stuck in her head to grasp what was going on or maybe she blocked it out. Undressing. Her body being photographed. Bruises examined. Hair being taken. Swabs being done. Putting on a papery gown as she laid back on the table, staring into the bright light ahead as they took more swabs. Combed her entire body for evidence. And in-between each procedure she had to sign her name on the dotted line, consenting to whatever it was the nurse was doing – Kayla didn't care, she just wanted it over and done with.

"Kayla?" she inclined her head slightly, not looking away from the light, "I'm sorry, I know this question is incredibly personal, but has there been anyone in the past week you've had consensual sex with? If we find DNA, it's to rule out their involvement in the attack"

it had probably been about a week since she last had sex with Stiles, maybe more, and the only other person was the nogitsune – the twin of Stiles. Someone who would, no doubt, have the same DNA as him so just nodded.

"Uh… y-yeah, my um…" she was going to say 'my boyfriend' but he wasn't that, not anymore, "uh… Stiles. He's outside"

"Okay, thank you" the nurse smiled reassuringly, "you're doing very well" she touched her lower leg in support, "is there anything I can get you? some water maybe?"

'A new body' she almost said but refrained, "uh… water would be nice"

The nurse peeled off her gloves, disposing of them in the trash, "no problem, I'll be right back. Try and remain comfortable"

She heard her leave but didn't peel her eyes away from the light, her retinas burning but at the same time she found it rather soothing in a weird and fucked up way, like it helped her forget where she was and what was happening.

Helped her forget the hell she was enduring.

* * *

It had been four hours. Four hours of hell for Stiles and he couldn't even begin to wonder how Kayla was feeling, pacing along the corridor as his dad sat wringing his hands nervously but looked up when he heard a call of his name to see Scott approaching them, a worried frown etched between his brows.

"Scott?" he asked, "what are you doing here?"

"I uh… I got a call from my mom. She asked me to bring in Kayla's clothes" he held up the black bag he was carrying, "I kept them just in case she decided she wanted to report it"

Stiles glanced down at the bag sadly, another reminder that he wasn't there for Kayla when she needed him, that she went to his best friend instead of him.

"… Where is she?" Scott murmured quietly, looking around in worry, "is she okay?"

"I… I don't know" he felt useless, stuck here waiting when he should be holding her hand and sticking by her side like he promised, "examining her I think. I wasn't allowed in"

Scott cupped his shoulder in support, "she's being looked after now"

"Scott" Melissa smiled a little in relief, engulfing him in a quick hug before looking down to the bag, "is that her clothes?"

"Yeah" he handed her it, "do you think any evidence can be pulled from it?"

"I sure as hell hope so" Melissa took the bag carefully, "and Stiles? I'm sorry to do this to you now but would it be okay to take some DNA from you?" he didn't understand what exactly he was being asked, his eyebrows raising high into his forehead, "some swabs, some hair too. It's to rule out your DNA on her if any get found, Kayla said the sex with you was consensual so…"

"Oh. Oh right, yeah" he wiped at his eyes again, "sure, whatever you need"

She stroked his arm, guiding him away, "it won't take long. Take a seat in that room-" she pointed across the corridor, "-and I'll just drop these clothes off"

He did as he was told, taking a seat on the bed as he waited for Melissa to return and she did just a couple of minutes later, pulling on some gloves as she opened up a couple of envelopes, pulling out some swabs.

"If it's okay, I would like to swab the inside of your cheek?"

"Yeah, yeah that's fine"

He sat as still as he could, keeping his mouth open as Melissa gently swabbed his left cheek a couple of times before picking up a fresh one and doing the same to his right cheek and smiled reassuringly at him, picking up a pair of scissors and cutting away a lock of his hair, carefully placing it in an envelope.

"Is that all you need?"

"Would some fingernail clippings be okay?"

He held out his hand silently, watching as she chipped away at a couple of his nails and he already felt a little on edge, like he was being poked and prodded so couldn't even begin to fathom what Kayla felt like, sitting in that room alone with a complete stranger, examining her entire body.

"Why is it taking so long?" he asked suddenly, quirking a brow at Melissa, "I don't mean me, I mean Kayla. It's been over four hours. Is something wrong? Is she okay? Has something happened-"

She cut off his panicked ramblings with a gentle, motherly hand to the chest, her warm brown eyes immediately calming him down, "nothing has happened Stiles. These things take time" she explained, "a rape kit is a very daunting, invasive procedure, as much as we try and make it not be. There's questions to be answered, evidence to be collected, forms to be signed. It can't be rushed, the nurse has to take her time, especially remembering the delicacy of the situation. But she's doing really well" she moved her hand from his racing heart to stroke his shoulder, "and she's being really strong"

"I just… I wish I was there for her" he admitted sadly, "she's by herself during one of the worst moments of her life… it doesn't feel right"

"Stiles…" Melissa whispered, "the exams carried out are very clinical. The nurse has to collect evidence from a rape-" he flinched at that word, "-it's a hard procedure. There's a reason family and friends can't be there… it's for their own good, I'm sorry"

He bowed his head in defeat, "I hope this is worth it. I hope they find something, anything, so they all get sent down. It's what they deserve"

"Me too Stiles, me too"

* * *

She didn't remember the last few hours of the examination at all.

It was all a blur – a painful, bright blur that sent her spinning and spiralling out of control, totally dissociating from everything around her. It had happened before – this 'spacing out'. Her therapist back in Louisiana said it was a coping mechanism, a defence for her brain to stop from completely shattering apart, PTSD playing a massive part.

It was too much, _everything_ was too much, so her mind shut itself off – temporary.

But to the nurse, it was worrying, very worrying indeed. She tried to get her to respond, to move or even to blink but she just sat there, totally numb.

The nurse sighed sadly, making sure all the evidence was boxed away appropriately before sitting down next to her, knowing her words probably wouldn't help but she had to _try_ something.

"You were so brave, you know?" The nurse, Elaine, whispered reassuringly, "you should be really proud of yourself, to have the strength, the courage, to go through with that"

She never answered, just sat there with her hands on her lap, nightgown loose around her and eyes glazed over.

"And it's okay to want to shut yourself off from this for a while, I understand" she said quietly, "but you have some good people out there, ready to help you through this. Do you want me to get them?"

She technically wasn't breaking the rules – the examination was done, all the evidence stored safely.

The girl never replied and Elaine stroked her back reassuringly, leaving her there for a few moments as she scuttled down the hall to where the older man and his son were sitting from before, another boy around the same age having joined them, Melissa McCall's son she assumed, "Um… she's ready to go, but you might want to come with me"

They all followed her, hot on her heels as she guided them into the room and Kayla was still sitting where she left her, staring blankly ahead of her.

"I know you probably want a statement-" Elaine directed to the sheriff, "-but I don't think she's fit to give one. Not today anyway"

Stiles stepped forward, his eyes going wide, "what-what's wrong with her?"

"Everyone deals with trauma differently" she explained calmly, "I think she just needs some time"

He took another step forward, moving slowly as he cupped her cheeks, tilting her head up so her empty, glazed over eyes met his and his chest hurt at her vacant look, softly stroking her cheeks with his thumbs.

"Kaylz? Can you hear me?"

She didn't respond, just sat there, barely breathing, not blinking, his words going straight over her head.

"Does she need medical attention?" Scott asked in worry.

"Your mom is on her way" Elaine smiled reassuringly.

"Baby…" he murmured, stopping the tears before they could fall, "it's okay, I'm here, just like I promised okay? You did so well, I'm so proud of you" he kissed her forehead softly, "you did better than I ever could"

It was like his voice drew a part of her out, her very own anchor as she finally blinked, eyes still hauntingly empty but at least she responded, at least she wasn't completely gone.

"It's all over now alright? You don't have to go through anymore examinations or questions, not if you don't want to, I promise" he vowed, stroking her cheeks, his fingers like butterfly wings against her blotchy, pale skin, "you're okay now Kaylz, you're safe"

She blinked again, moving to stand off the bed and he took a step back, watching her with wary, concerned eyes but she never looked at him, just kept her eyes trained on the floor.

"Kayla…?" he didn't know what was happening or what to do, at a loss of how to help her, everyone in the room feeling the same way until Melissa appeared through the door, immediately taking in the situation and knew it wasn't good.

"Kayla, honey-" she stepped forward, keeping her voice calm as she pulled a vile and syringe from her scrubs pocket, carefully drawing it up, "-everything's okay, but I need to give you a small injection okay? And when you wake up you'll feel a lot better alright? Is that okay?"

She never answered and Melissa raised the needle, prepared to administer the sedative but before she could, as quick as a flash of lightning, Kayla knocked it from her hand, making everyone in the room jump at the sudden movement. But she couldn't help it – even in her dissociative state, she was just trying to protect herself, an instinct to stop herself from being hurt. Again.

"No" she finally spoke, her voice wavering but distinguishable none the less, "I said no, I said no, _I said no,_ no, no, no, no, no-"

Everyone in that room knew then what she was saying wasn't about the injection, and it fucking _broke_ Stiles apart.

"Kaylz, it's okay" he held his hands out, showing he meant no harm, "you're safe now baby, it's OK-"

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, _no, no, no, no"_ she chanted, shaking her head wildly, "I said no, no, no, no, _no, no, no, no-"_

"Kayla-"

"Please stop-p-please, please s-stop _, stop"_ she begged, crying loudly as she grabbed fistfuls of her hair, flashbacking to those awful moments, the ones that would stick with her forever, "s-stop, I don't w-want it, I don't, I d-don't, stop it, s-stop it, please, _p-please-"_

He tried to catch her but she fell to her knees before he could, hunching over as she relived and replayed those moments over and over in her head, her body in agony as the sheriff covered his mouth in complete shock and mortification, Scott next to him shaking his head sadly, her emotions overloading him and Stiles let a single tear drop as he watched her fall apart – this, all of this, the hospital, the examination, the memories, all of it too much for her fragile mind to handle and compartmentalise.

"I-I don't want it, I don't want t-this, st-stop, please, p-please stop, g-get off me, _get off me_ " she wailed, nearly pulling her hair from the roots, "No, no, no, no, _no, no, no, no, no-"_

Melissa remained as calm and professional as she could, drawing up another sedative into the syringe as she kneeled next to Kayla, stroking her hair as she whispered that "everything was okay", "you're going to be okay", "you'll feel better after this" and attempted to try and hold her still as she plunged the needle into her upper arm.

"I-I said n-no…" her voice was less hysterical, more eerily calm and drowsy as she slumped against Melissa, "I… said… no… I promise… I said… no…"

"I know Kayla, I know" Melissa soothed, rocking her in her arms as her eyelids fluttered shut, "everything's okay, try and get some sleep, everything's going to be okay"

But Stiles knew that everything, _everything_ , was **far** from okay.

* * *

They decided to keep her in for the rest of the evening and night, to let the sedative work its magic and to give her time to rest and heal and he sat next to her bed, holding her hand the entire night.

"Why don't you go home and get showered and changed?" his dad suggested around dawn, "you could be there and back before she even wakes up"

He scrubbed the tiredness from his eyes, stroking the back of her hand soothingly, "I can't. I don't want to leave her"

"She's safe here son, nothing's going to happen" he reassured, placing a fatherly hand on his shoulder, "but you look terrible. You don't want her waking up and seeing you like that do you?"

"I promised I wouldn't leave her dad…"

"And you're not" he said softly, "it's called looking after yourself. Melissa said the sedative won't ware off for another couple of hours anyway, and I'll stay here. I won't move" he promised.

He sighed heavily, "I guess a quick shower won't do any harm"

"Exactly" his dad agreed, watching him stand, "I'll call if anything changes – which it won't" he hurried out at Stiles' panicked look, "she's fine and resting and safe"

He nodded in acceptance, shoulders slumped in exhaustion as he leaned over the bed and stroked some messy hair from her forehead, admiring how peaceful she looked as he pressed the softest of kisses to her forehead.

"I'll be right back" he vowed, his lips brushing across her clammy skin, "I love you"

She didn't answer but, then again, he didn't expect her to, making sure he had his jeep keys in his pocket as he faced his dad, "I won't be longer than half an hour, forty minutes tops. Please don't leave her alone…"

"I won't, I promise" his dad vowed and Stiles sent a sleeping Kayla one last look before leaving the hospital, making his way to his jeep and, as quick as he could, raced to his house, ready to be in and out in no time at all but when he pulled up he saw someone waiting on his doorstep.

"Oh crap" he muttered under his breath, closing his eyes briefly to collect his thoughts, preparing himself to face the music as he slipped out of the jeep, making his way up his porch steps.

"Sophie" he greeted cautiously, "uh… I'm sorry, this isn't really a good time-"

She stood up and the orange glow from the street lights shone on her face, highlighting the fact she had been crying and a pang of guilt hit him square in the chest, "I don't care" she blurted out, sniffing loudly, "I deserve answers"

He peered down at his watch anxiously, "can we do this another time-"

"Why? Do you have to go back to _her?"_ she exclaimed bitterly and Stiles' eyes went wide at the malice in her tone, "your precious, psycho girlfriend?"

He sighed heavily, trying to step around her but she blocked his path and he knew he could just brush past her, she was tiny, only four foot eleven to be exact, but the whiff of alcohol made him stop.

"Have you been drinking?"

"Oh, don't pretend to care" she scoffed, "you don't care for _anyone_ "

He rolled his eyes, not ready to deal with this kind of drunken behaviour, "Sophie, look-"

"No Stiles, _you_ look" she exclaimed and he swallowed his next words, "you can't just fuck me like you care, take my god damn virginity and then throw me away. It's not fair"

"I… I know" he said softly, "and I'm… I'm sorry, I was in a bad place-"

She clapped sarcastically, throwing her blonde hair over her shoulder, "great excuse. I don't buy it"

"I'm really sorry, but I have to go" he brushed past her, opening the front door but she followed him in, not finished with him yet, "Sophie, please just go-"

"I was just a distraction to you huh?" she slurred, "someone to use because you couldn't have the person you _actually_ wanted?"

"You're a great girl, you are, and some guy will be lucky to have you in the future-"

" _ **Bullcrap**_ " and he reeled back at her viciousness, not expecting the shy, cute, fumbling girl he met to be quite this brash and mean, "you're just like every other guy aren't you? don't care about anyone or anything except his own inflated ego and hormones? Well _Stiles_ -" she dragged his name out like it was poison, "-you're an asshole. _There_ , I said it" she nodded her head, blonde hair flying everywhere.

"I… I know I am" he waited at the bottom of the stairs, "I know what I did to you was wrong, and it was, I am the _biggest_ dick for stringing you along, but I can't change what happened, I can only apologise"

She shook her head sadly, "I… I liked you Stiles" she said miserably, "I _liked_ you"

He knew she did, hence what made this whole mess even more complicated, "and I liked you too. I did. But… but not anymore, I'm sorry"

She stumbled forward, grabbing the lapels of his shirt, "why pick her?" she asked, "why?"

He shrugged helplessly, "because she's my one… and I hate myself for not realising that sooner"

Tears filled her eyes, "No, no I don't accept that. You are not getting rid of me that easily, not after everything. I gave you _everything_ Stiles" she ranted, "my time, my sympathy, my virginity, My reputation after my family found out what we did… it wasn't all for nothing, it _wasn't_ " and with that she tugged him down, moving in for a kiss but he ducked out of the way, grabbing her by the shoulders.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing?"

"You still like me, you _have_ to" she exclaimed, not letting him go and he stumbled back, almost tripping on the bottom stair.

"Hey, no, whoa- _no_ " he grabbed her shoulders tighter before she could try and kiss him again, "stop, Sophie _stop_ " he demanded and she peered up at him with wide eyes, "I said it's over, hell, we hadn't even _begun_. You want the truth?" he knew he shouldn't say it but he was wound up and anxious, his heart going into wild overdrive, "the truth is I liked what you represented – normal, innocence. I didn't like you, not really"

Silence rung in his ears after his words, her face falling as he winced – oh god, what a massive dick.

She let go of his shirt, her blue eyes strangely manic, "you're going to regret that"

His stomach dropped, "I'm… I'm sorry" he apologised, "but you have to go" he stepped back, starting to mount the stairs, "please Sophie, just go"

He reached the top of the stairs just as he heard her punching in a number into her phone, following him up the stairs and he watched her, half curious-half angry she wasn't listening to him, ready to throw her out, girl or not, but when she reached the top step her entire expression morphed into fear, beginning to cry.

"Y-Yes hello, 911?" she sobbed, "p-please help me, he's trying to _kill me"_

His eyes widened, staring down at her in shock, "Sophie, what the _hell_ are you doing?"

She screamed down the line, pure hysteria escaping every inch of her, "Please h-help me, please, _no_ , don't come near me" she screeched, "leave me alone Stiles, _leave me alone"_

He put his hands up in surrender, shaking his head at her, "Sophie, stop this-"

She screamed again, this time like she was in pain, "he's going to k-kill me, he's going to- _ahhhh_ " she wailed again, so loud Stiles flinched back, "no, no, Stiles please no, _help_ -" and with that she threw herself back into the wall, making sure the responders on the other end of the line heard the crash and then threw herself forward, over the edge of the bannister so she fell to the floor below, landing painfully and at an awkward angle, the phone bouncing next to her.

It all happened so fast he didn't know what to do – one moment, she was chewing him out and the next it was like she lost it, framing him for hurting her – like she wanted to put him through hell for doing the same to her.

He covered his face with his hand, rooted to the spot for several agonising seconds, or minutes – he didn't know – waiting for her to move, to speak, to do anything but she didn't, the frantic calls exclaiming through the phone.

He eventually got his shit together, stumbling down the stairs as he knelt down next to her, reaching out to feel for her pulse and breathed a massive sigh of relief when he located it, still strong and steady.

"What the hell Sophie…?" he whispered, running a hand through his sweaty hair as he tried to gently rouse her, checking her for any serious injuries but the sound of sirens made him glance up, panic overtaking his entire body.

If he stayed, that was it. He was done for. He would get arrested, break his promise to Kayla but if he ran… if he ran, he could prove his innocence.

He stroked a hand through her hair, wincing a little at the bloodied cut on her forehead before pushing himself up shakily and running out the back door as the impending wail of sirens inched closer.

 **A/N OMG IS THAT LONG OR IS THAT LONGGGGGG lmao whoops, but omg heavy chapter right? Poor kayla, poor stiles, poor everyone tbh. I know im evil ha, and I love it – so pretty please leave a review, let m know what you liked, what you think, predictions, etc I would love it and appreciate every single one, see yall soon 😊 alsooooo omg bad sophie, wtf dude…**

 **And my tumblr is – fanficanatic-tw – come along and see edits, videos, sneak peaks and ask questions, all that kind of fun stuff 😊**


	57. Chapter 57 - On the run

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any way, shape or form (cries) anways, thank you all for the love and support, it means the world, and a massive shoutout to linda96, x XRoweenaJAugustineX x, BeccaSco, CarleighAlpha, Ashleymcd25, Hope, Guest, beckylovestwilight and Senjaninja for reviewing, love you all so much, hope you enjoy**

When she woke, it was like fading from one nightmare into the next.

Everything hurt, like a blanket of knives was resting over her, her mind racing so fast she couldn't keep up with every thought running through her mind.

"Hey kiddo" she heard faintly and groaned under her breath as she peeled her eyes open, feeling the weight of the scratchy linen covers atop her aching body as she was met with the sudden onslaught of painful white, the light dancing off the pristine walls and making her eyes snap back shut, blocking out the pain.

"Sorry, too bright?" the same voice asked and she heard the scraping of the plastic chair along the floor and the click of the overhead lights flicking off, "is that better?"

She opened her eyes once again, the dimness working in her favour as her vison slowly unblurred and she saw a concerned face staring down at her, but a gentle smile soon worked its way to his lips as she became fully coherent.

"Good sleep?" the sheriff asked, "Melissa said she gave you a strong sedative to help relax you"

Was that why she couldn't break free from the terrors that consumed her sleeping mind? Couldn't jolt herself awake or, better yet, not sleep? Paralysed in a constant state on unconscious to help 'relax' her. And yeah, it may have done just that for her body, but her mind was a whole other matter.

She pushed herself up onto her elbows, glancing around warily, "where am I?"

"The hospital" the sheriff whispered, pulling over the chair so he could perch in it next to her, "do you remember why?"

Painful flashes overtook her mind, remembering the shame and embarrassment she felt but, above all, the turmoil.

She nodded once, glancing down at herself dressed in nothing but the thin gown with the blankets pulled up to her stomach, her bruises on show for all to see.

The sheriff sighed sadly, "sweetheart… are you alright?"

Alright with what? With living again? With having the guilt eat her whole? With trying to find a way to cope with every bad thing that had happened to her, or what she had done to others? There was so much she wasn't alright with. Too much.

She shook her head once, meeting his distraught gaze, "um… d-do you want that statement now?"

"Not if you're not ready" he insisted gently, "don't you be worrying about a statement just now-"

"I want to" she cut him off meekly, dropping her gaze to the edge of the bed, "please let's just… get it over with"

The sheriff leaned forward cautiously, catching her shameful stare, "are you comfortable with me taking it, or would you like someone else? Another deputy?"

She flinched at that and the sheriff felt like kicking himself for slipping up, understanding fully why she had lost trust and faith in his police force, not wanting another single deputy near her, especially now, "n-no… you can take it"

He nodded, taking his notepad and pen from his pocket, pressing play on his voice recorder and looked at her sadly, "are you sure you're ready Kayla?"

She pushed herself up in the bed, resisting a pained wince at the agony that was seizing her body and carried on like he hadn't spoken, pulling her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them, "I was uh… I was sitting at that bar by myself all night. I… I was upset. Stiles and I…" she paused, closing her eyes briefly, "I don't know what had happened between us. We argued and… and things kept falling apart. I watched him walk away and… and I felt regret. Regret that I… I drove him to do that. Regret that I didn't know how to fix it. So I drank… and I took stuff… and then I drank some more until I couldn't see straight with only one thing in mind: that I would keep drinking until it killed me. And I was close… I could feel it. I could feel myself dying… and then uh… then someone… there was a hand around my arm-" she was trying not to cry, to stop the tears before they could fall, "-and the next thing I know, I'm outside. In the cold. In the dark. I thought for a second I was dead. It felt that way at least but… but I wasn't that lucky"

The sheriff watched her, desperately aching to reach out to comfort her but she was absorbed in her story, shut off from any and all comfort anyone could offer, his fingers shaky as he wrote down what she was saying.

"They… they knocked me around, they hurt me until I felt like I was paralysed and… and… and kept ripping at my clothes, and I just remember thinking… thinking that I wanted it to stop because I was-I was so cold. I didn't like this. I didn't like feeling so cold but… they didn't care. They didn't care I was shivering… that my skin felt like ice against the tarmac… they didn't care how many times I tried to say no. The… the three of them would… encourage each other. Laugh. Say that I would enjoy it, but I never. I… I never. I didn't like feeling them on top of me… I didn't like their heavy breathing on the back of my neck… or their hands touching me"

"And… and then I remember, vaguely… getting interrupted. They got interrupted by um…" her eyes flickered over to his, cocking a brow, "him. That… that deputy"

"… Mayfield?" The sheriff asked, hating having to make her remember but knowing they both had to be sure.

"Yeah" she nodded, "him. It was his eyes that… that made me recognise him. The others um… the other three r-raped me from behind, so I couldn't see their faces completely but him… he didn't. He made sure I was on my back… ch-choking me so it's blurry but… but I would remember that face anywhere. His voice… when he… he said he would let them go free if he-if he got a shot" she glanced down, wiping her eyes quickly, "and he did. More than once" she admitted, "and he made sure it hurt… until I had scratches on my back from the tarmac, until I stopped crying because it hurt too much… and then he… he finished. Said… said _thank you_ and then walked away… leaving me for them again. And the whole time he was… he was on top of me, I kept seeing this-this flash of something and I… I recognised it, but I didn't know what it was until he… until he pushed himself up and kneeled between my legs as he pulled his pants up and… and it was a deputy's badge. I would recognise it anywhere"

"But he didn't help me after that… he just smiled and walked away and… and I passed out again as I felt one of them… one of them start to… start to-" she couldn't get the words out, sticking in that back of her throat but she knew she had to be technical about this, be straight up with this whole thing, "-start to um… force um… back in-inside me… and then I woke up" she summarised, "half my clothes were gone, underwear pretty much non existent… no bra and I couldn't… I didn't know what to do. I just… walked. Crawled. I don't know, but I went to Scott's and he-and he let me in and looked after me. That's what happened" she finished tearfully, "that's… what I remember anyway but… my legs hurt. My… you know…" she added, "my mouth, my throat... everything… all because they fucked me six ways from Sunday in that back alleyway. Is that enough?" she sighed brokenly, her eyes meeting his, "or do you need more?"

The sheriff swallowed thickly, pushing down his disgust and sickness that welled up inside him as she relived the hell she went through.

"Um… no" he whispered, recapping his pen, "no, that's enough Kayla. Thank you"

She nodded once, sighing deeply as she tried to push those memories away, "where… where's Stiles?"

"He just popped home for a shower" he reassured her, watching the fear and panic and sadness take over her expression as she thought he up and left her again but couldn't help but glance down at his watch in worry – it had been nearly two hours since he left… he promised he wouldn't be long…

Kayla noted his expression though and frowned, "he was supposed to be back by now, wasn't he?"

He didn't know what to say, not wanting to lie to her, not after everything she had been through.

"I'm sure he just got caught up" he reassured her, pulling his phone from his pocket and typing out a message to his son, demanding to know where he was, "he'll be back kiddo, I promise"

She wiped at her eyes, not wanting to cry, not again, "it doesn't matter. I don't blame him" she sighed, "I hurt him so bad… sleeping with those people, hurting others… the things I said… maybe it's for the best" she shrugged, "this way I can't ever hurt him again"

But before he could reassure her this wasn't the case, that everyone, including Stiles, could forgive her for everything she had done, over time, the hospital room door got wrenched wide open and in stumbled Stiles, quickly shutting it behind him as he gasped for breath, sweat running down the sides of his face.

"Stiles, what an earth-"

"I didn't do it" he rushed out in sheer panic, "I didn't do it, you've got to believe me"

Kayla shared a concerned look with the sheriff, sitting up straighter in the bed, "Stiles-"

"I swear" he was panicking now, tripping over his feet as he glanced at his dad, "whatever she says, whatever happens, you've got to know I didn't do it. I wouldn't _do that"_ he rambled, staring wide eyed at his dad, begging, _pleading_ with him to give him the benefit of the doubt before turning to Kayla, "I wouldn't hurt her, you believe that don't you?"

She reached out from where she was sitting on the bed, taking a hold of his forearms, "Stiles… what's happened?" she asked worriedly, "what's going on?"

Tears were filling him eyes, ready to spill over any second now, "she… she said it was my fault. She said I was trying to hurt her and then she-and then she jumped over the railings… I had to leave her there" he added, "I had no choice, the cops-they were coming and-and I didn't know what to do"

"She…?"

Guilt swam in his eyes, his expression crumbling, "Sophie. She jumped Kaylz, she jumped and now they think it's my fault" he ranted, "I wouldn't do that, I wouldn't hurt her"

"I know" she whispered, reaching up to cup his cheek, believing him instantly – he had anger problems, a darkness around his heart, but this he wouldn't do, not to an innocent girl, "I know"

He took a deep breath, calming down at her touch before peering over to his dad, "dad I swear to god-"

"I believe you" he said instantly, cutting off his son's desperate attempts to defend himself, "we're going to sort this out okay-"

"How?" Stiles exclaimed, breathing heavily as he glanced out the window of the room in paranoia, "they're already after me, I heard it. They want to bring me in under attempted murder charges. And to make it worse, Sophie's parents were already planning to go to the cops about me for sleeping with their fifteen year old daughter. So great, not only am I wanted for attempted murder, but now as a sex creep"

The sheriff pinched the bridge of his nose, "I can fix this-"

"The sheriff's son is a delinquent, they're going to want you out of office" Stiles said sadly, "how bad does it look? You, the sheriff, being associated with a criminal"

"You're not a criminal son" The sheriff stood quickly, clasping a hand around his shoulder, "I can clear this all up – if you said you didn't push Sophie-"

"I didn't" he claimed quickly, "I just got home and there she was, waiting on my doorstep. She was drunk, lashing out at me and when I told her that-that-" he glanced at Kayla, watching her sad doe eyes on his as he hurried out words that he didn't want to admit, "-that I regretted being with her, she just lost it. Phoned 911 and threw herself off the stairs"

"But… why come back here?" she asked quietly, "this is the first place they're going to check"

He smiled sadly, reaching out to brush his knuckles across her cheek, "for you Kaylz" he whispered simply, "I wasn't going to break another promise to you"

She opened her mouth to reply, to say something, _anything_ , but nothing came out, her eyes pooling with unshed tears.

"I don't care if they find me here… I've let you down too many times to do it again. As long as you believe me… that's all that matters"

"Stiles-" she murmured, ready to climb out the bed but the sharp pain burning along the inside of her legs and through her core made her stop, trying to swallow her wince but Stiles still heard, his gaze flaring up with hurt.

"Don't move" he whispered, his knuckles grazing downwards until his fingers were splayed out along her jaw, tilting her head up, "how are you feeling?"

Broken. Empty. Used.

"I… I don't know" she replied, catching sight of a couple of cops passing the window and froze, her eyes turning panicked, "S-Stiles-"

He followed her line of sight, his eyes widening a little before looking back at her – he thought he was ready to either give up the fight, let himself be arrested until he could prove his innocence or run and keep running until his name was cleared but the truth was, he wasn't ready. For either option. He had lost Kayla, left her, been parted from her too many times and he didn't want that to happen again – especially in this situation. He should be looking after her, helping her through this, be her shoulder to cry on as they worked through their many issues.

But it seemed his dad caught onto what his plan was before he did, quickly shaking his head at him as he pointed a serious finger at him, "no way in hell Stiles, you're going to stay put so I can sort this out-"

"And, what? Go to jail?" he asked, shaking his head, "no way, not now" he added, pulling back the covers on Kayla's bed and quirking an eyebrow at her, "can you walk?"

She frowned in confusion as he helped her legs dangle off the edge of the bed, her concerned eyes flitting between the two Stilinski's, unable to grasp what was going on, her mind in shambles, "I-I think so-"

"Good" he shrugged off his jacket, not giving his dad time to speak as he wrapped it around Kayla's shoulders, helping her put her arms through the holes, "do you trust me?"

She faltered, but only for a second. Not because she didn't trust him, god no, but because she didn't trust herself. It was her fault he was in this position – she pushed and pushed until he fell into Sophie's arms, if she didn't then he wouldn't be in this mess now.

She nodded silently, too scared to look away from his eyes because he was borderline frantic now as he tried to smile at her, kissing her forehead quickly.

"Stiles" his dad warned lowly, "if you run, you look guilty-"

"I'm sorry" Stiles rushed out, quickly tugging her from the bed and she stumbled, the sedation still in her system so she fell into his side, her legs almost giving way, "I can't go to jail dad, not now" he took a hold of her hand, intertwining their fingers as he pulled her to the door, glancing both ways out the window, "and I'm sorry you have to deal with all my crap" he apologised, "see you soon… I hope"

And with that, once he perceived the coast as clear, he threw the door open and held Kayla close to his side as he pulled her down the corridor, keeping his head lowered from the curious glances he got, his dad shouting after him but he never looked back, too focused on getting the hell out of there.

"Hey, hey, stop" he heard and flinched, feeling Kayla squeeze his hand tighter, "Stiles Stilinski, I said _stop"_

One of his dad's deputies was hurrying after him, getting ready to draw his gun but with one fierce look from the Sheriff stopped, "hey kid, stop. Don't make this worse for yourself"

By now, he had drawn the entire attention of this part of the hospital, everyone in the waiting room looking at him half curiously-half fearfully, the nurses stopping what they were doing, wondering what was going on and Stiles stopped, flushing under their gazes.

He held Kayla's hand tighter, glancing over his shoulder at the deputy who was unclasping the pair of cuffs from his belt, "we just need to take you in for questioning, that's all…"

No it wasn't _all_. He knew the justice system better than most and knew, with that phone call and Sophie's no doubt accusatory testimony combined, he was a goner.

His eyes met Kayla's, watching his girlfriend… well… he didn't know exactly what they were, but he watched her eyes well with tears, looking up at him in fear. He was being selfish dragging her with him, he knew that, but he didn't have a choice. Or he felt he didn't have a choice. But he promised he would look after her, he just wanted to do good on that promise. That didn't make him a bad person, did it?

He hoped his eyes conveyed just how sorry he was as he squeezed her hand tighter, suddenly breaking out into a run as he skidded down the corridor, slipping and sliding towards the exit with Kayla in tow, her bare feet cold and sore as she was forced to keep up with him, the hospital gown flapping about around her as the deputy broke out into a run, warning them to stop but Stiles didn't listen, just kept running until he brushed past two people just about to enter, yanking her out into the sharp morning light, her eyes immediately shutting in pain.

"Stiles, wait-"

But he didn't listen to her, too full of adrenaline, his flight or response kicking in as he dragged her through the hospital parking lot, dodging between rows of cars and her entire body ached, struggling to keep up with his quickness, especially in her state, but he didn't let her go, not once, ignoring the shouts of the deputy as he located his jeep, yanking open the door and turning to her.

"Get in" he rushed out, giving her a helping hand as he bundled her into the front and from anyone else's perspective it probably looked like he was kidnapping her but she remained silent, clawing herself across the seats to try and find a comfy position as he raced around to the driver's side, face set into icy determination as he immediately hit reverse, skidding backwards to squeeze out from the two cars and shoved the gear stick forward, jolting the jeep as he twisted the wheel, avoiding the deputy who tried to jump forward, grabbing his gun and Stiles just wrapped his arm around Kayla's shoulders, pulling her down so when the bullet broke the back windshield it wouldn't have a chance to hit her, holding her still and driving with one hand as he finally busted free and skidded onto the main road, almost causing several crashes as he did so but escaped relatively unharmed, ignoring the speed limit as he glanced around in paranoia, like he was waiting for the high speed car chase.

"I don't think they're following us" he panted, breathing quickly to catch his breath as he loosened his hold around Kayla, "we got a good head start"

She pushed herself up slowly, her aching body feeling like sagging over in exhaustion but she didn't give in to the pain or tiredness, running her hand through her wild hair as she glanced at the broken glass littering the back seat.

She didn't know what to think – one second she was at the hospital, giving her statement, trying to come to terms with her turmoil and the next she was suddenly, apparently, on the run with Stiles and getting shot at. It was too much, all of this was too much. She just craved safety and warmth and quiet, somewhere to try and let her mind heal.

"Kaylz?" he noted her blank expression, frantic eyes flitting between her and the road ahead, "what's wrong?"

She licked her lips, swallowing thickly, trying to formulate a sentence, hell even a single word was better than nothing but she just couldn't – like there was a mental block in her mind.

He frowned, his worried eyes settling on her as often as he could without crashing. Dammit, she was going through hell, PTSD, whatever you wanted to call it and he had just dragged her into his screwed up mess… it was a miracle she hadn't broken down into fits of tears.

"Shit" he muttered under his breath, facing the road again as he clenched the steering wheel tighter, "Kaylz… I'm-I'm sorry, I never thought-"

He cut himself of as he was forced to swerve madly, a police car suddenly appearing right behind him as it attempted to overtake him, trying to cut him off but he dodged between two other cars, staying in the lead and Kayla grabbed at her hair, screwing her eyes shut, muttering herself to distract herself and Stiles looked at her sadly before trying everything to get rid of the deputy's car on his tail and it somehow worked. It was a risky move, but he went for it – running a red light and just barely skimmed past a lorry intercepting his path, but it worked. The deputy on his tail was forced to slam on his brakes, the lorry too stopping which caused a traffic jam.

He sighed, driving quickly to the safest spot he knew of – the edge of Beacon Hills preserve, parking the jeep in amongst the thick bushy woodland, concealing it from anyone passing the main road.

"I… I didn't want to break another promise to you, that's all" he whispered gently, watching as she let go of the desperate grip on her hair and peeked across to him, "I've promised you so much and let you down on nearly every single one. I couldn't leave with you thinking that I hated you"

She sniffed, glancing around, realising where they were before meeting his gaze again, "Stiles you're… you're scaring me" she admitted meekly, causing shame filled his chest, "you're acting…" she didn't know – crazy? Scarily determined? Reckless?

"I know. I know and I'm so sorry" he whispered, reaching out to cup her cheek but she pulled back, flinching away and he let his hand drop, "I shouldn't have taken you with me, I just… I didn't want to be away from you. Not again. Never again. And that is selfish of me, I know, but… but… I don't know" he sighed in defeat and she peered over at him, trying to shake away her fear.

"I know you didn't push her" she murmured, "I wasn't just saying that, I believe it. You're not capable of that"

Oh he was… that and so much worse – nearly beating Mayfield to a bloody pulp should be proof enough.

"I'm in some deep shit Kaylz" he whispered, "I should've stayed but instead I ran – I ran away, and if that doesn't scream guilty I don't know what does. I left her at the bottom of those stairs and if she dies…" he didn't finish that thought, dropping his gaze.

"She won't die" she reassured, slowly reaching out to cup his cheek, "everything will work out"

He wanted desperately to believe her words but fear and guilt made him pessimistic, the hairs on the back of his neck raising as he heard the faint sound of sirens in the distance, swallowing his anxiety as he tuned into the police scanner, both him and Kayla listening intently.

"-suspect is five foot eleven, brown hair, brown eyes, male, and considered very dangerous. Charges are suspected murder and now kidnapping. Approach with caution"

He let his head fall forward, defeat coursing through his veins. Kidnapping now? Great. He couldn't blame them, he supposed it looked like that from anyone's perspective but their own, dragging a half out of it Kayla from the hospital and bundling her into the jeep.

"I can straighten this out" she said, "I'll just tell them you never kidnapped me-"

"No, no" he shook his head, "no just-just give me a second to think"

He was scaring her, but at the same time he was scaring himself. Not really knowing what was making him this erratic and on edge, suddenly jumping out the jeep and stalking around to her side, wrenching the door open and she froze, flinching back from him but his hand curled around her wrist and tugged her free from the safety of the jeep, her bare feet crunching across the leaves and twigs.

"S-Stiles, what are you doing?" she whispered, completely terrified, "they think you kidnapped me, all I have to do is go back to the hospital and-"

"No, no, I can't let you do that" he shook his head quickly, "because if I do that then you have to go and leave me and I'll break that promise to you. I won't do that, I won't break another promise"

"You… you won't be" she tried to reassure, twisting her wrist to escape his grip but it was futile, "Stiles-"

"I _can't_ break another promise" he exclaimed, making her reel back as he rounded on her, his eyes wide and broken, "you got _raped_ because of _me_ Kayla, because I lost my shit over something as stupid as a video. Because I wasn't there like I promised you I would be. You got _raped_ and where was I? with her. With a _stranger_ rather than my own damn girlfriend" his guilt spilling from every pore in his body, "they… they _hurt_ you. they took what they wanted and _I wasn't there._ I as good as sat back and watched you getting raped and it's _my fault"_

She gasped, flinching back into the cool exterior of the jeep as he loomed above her, breaking apart. She wanted to comfort him, to reassure him, but he was scaring her. He wasn't meaning to but he was and she didn't know what to do but cry, her shoulders shaking as she broke down into sobs, unwanted memories invading her mind and Stiles' energy left him in one big sigh, the hot tears prickling the corners of his eyes as he listened to her broken cries.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry…" he whispered, stepping forward to try and cup her cheeks but she turned her head the other way, not meeting his gaze.

"You're my everything Kayla… and I am so damn sorry for the way things turned out, I really am"

She didn't reply, too distraught to and he couldn't do anything, forced to watch her cry knowing there wasn't a damn thing he could do to take away her pain – not this time, and that completely _tore_ him apart.

The sound of sirens were getting closer and he panicked, taking a hold of her wrist despite her trying to escape his grasp but he couldn't leave her, he just couldn't, especially in this state, so wrapped his arms around her, dragging her deep into the woods.

 **a/n) a little shorter but I have to be up in like four and a half hours kill me lmao but anywayysssssssss please rebiew and lemme know what you think pretty please haha and mmmmm wonder why stiles is acting a little off… maybe has something to do with his untameable anger as of late…. Hmmm hint hint haha but bad Stiles, stop scaring Kayla, get a handle on it and now he's got them both on the run – smh – stupid boy haha but pretty please review and I shall see you soon yay**


	58. Chapter 58 - Till the end of the road

**Disclaimer: teen wolf does not belong to me in any way, shape or form :( anyways a massive thankful shoutout to all the new followers and favourites and of course my lovely reviewers including x XRoweenaJAugustineX x, CarleighAlpha, hope, linda96, Ashleymcd25, peachy48, JimmyHall24 and Senjaninja for reviewing, love you all, open you enjoy X**

She had never been scared of Stiles, not really. There had been moments when they had been arguing, that he had maybe said something hurtful and she had recoiled back in shock and sadness and, even though she knew he struggled with the darkness, she hadn't ever been _scared_ to be around him. The only time she could pinpoint was when he was getting influenced by the nogitsune - how he spoke to her, touched her, hit her... It had terrified her, but never more than in this moment.

Maybe it was because she was vulnerable and already scared - scared of _everything_ it seemed - but he was acting... Off. Strange. The Stiles she knew wouldn't drag her anywhere she didn't want to go unless they were playing, messing around, teasing each other... But there was nothing playful about this.

His hand was tight and strong around her wrist, pulling her ruthlessly through the woods as she fell and stumbled, her weak legs useless as they knocked together, ankles twisting and feet tripping over each other but he still didn't slow down or stop, too focused on escaping. At one point she tripped over a tree root, her bare knees scraping across the forest floor and she felt like crying even though it was just a scratch but everything was building up and she didn't know how to deal with her own shit, let alone how to compartmentalise suddenly being thrust on the run but instead of consoling her or taking the time to wipe away her tears, he wrapped his hands around her upper arms and hauled her up, glancing around quickly as if checking for anyone coming after them and continued pulling her along.

She had no idea where they were going and it seemed nor did he, stopping several times, catching his breath before taking off in another completely new direction which made her head spin.

And only when she went over her ankle for a fifth time did she finally have the courage to speak up, to try and grab his attention from this seemingly crazy mind set he was suddenly in.

"S-Stop"

He either never heard or completely ignored her because his grip never slackened, jolting her arm to get her to follow him but she just yanked it back as hard as she could, pulling him to a sudden stop.

"I-I said stop" she gasped, chest tight as it ached for some much needed air, every part of her flaring up in hurt, "Stiles please just-just stop"

His eyes were wild and untamed, zigzagging quickly across her face, "we don't have time"

"Then _make_ time" she was bordering on hysterical, still trying to wiggle free from his grip, "Stiles please… _please_ …"

It seemed like finally her distress and anxiety was apparent to him because the manic fire behind his eyes cooled slightly, his grip loosening slowly around her sore wrist and as soon as she was able to snatched it back to her own body, stumbling back a couple of steps so her back hit the nearest tree.

"I-I'm sorry" he mumbled, looking like he was ready to reach out for her, maybe console her but at her terrified and hesitant look he stopped himself, shaking his head as he ran his hands through his chaotic hair, "I just-I don't know what to _do_ Kaylz…"

Nor did she – a part of her wanted to run, to just run and not look back because she was scared and didn't know exactly what he was capable of but the other part of her ached to stay, to comfort him like he had done for her many a times.

The wispy strands of her hair were sticking to her perspired skin, beads of sweat cascading down her flushed skin as she tried to get her nerves under control - to stop being so damn scared all the time - and inched forward a little to try and catch his gaze but he was now grabbing fistfuls of his hair, staring down at the ground in panic.

"I know it feels like running is your only option… trust me, I get it…" she whispered, "I ran before. From my emotions, my friends, _you_ … when I first came back I see now that that's what I did. Ran from facing what I had done, what I _was_ … but running doesn't work Stiles" she implored as gently as she could, her hands shaking as he fisted his hair tighter, "it just makes things worse"

"No… _no_ " he stated, shaking his head again as he pointed a finger at her and she flinched back, "I'm not-I can't…" he sucked in a deep breath, "I can't _lose_ you again Kayla, I just _can't_ "

"You won't" she mumbled, "all of this is just a misunderstanding-"

"She _framed_ me" he exploded, cheeks flushing a deep red and she skittered backwards again, losing her pretend-calm demeanour and moulded herself back against the tree, "she _hurt_ herself and she _framed_ me because I was a stupid, selfish idiot that _used_ her for sex" she flinched at the reminder, screwing her eyes shut, "If she dies, I'm done for. They'll lock me up and I won't be _there_ for you like I promised I would be"

She covered her ears, his shouts reverberating right down to her very core as she whimpered, her legs collapsing out from underneath her as she crumbled to the ground. His shouts and screams and all around manic, terrifying behaviour was escalating to the point where he was almost unrecognisable – and she shut herself off.

He watched her fall apart, hating himself for hurting her – something he promised he would never ever do again.

"Kayla…" he mumbled, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I can't let you leave me again, you understand that don't you?" he reached down, taking a hold of her arms and helping her up, "it's only me and you now"

She shook her head frantically, "n-no, our friends-"

"They can't help us" he stated, " _no one_ can"

"I-I don't want this Stiles" she cried, "I want to go home-"

" _I'm your home"_ he exclaimed, causing her to flinch again as he shook her quickly, "and _you're_ mine. We don't _need_ _anyone_ or _anything_ else"

"Stop it" she begged, "S-Stiles just stop it, please, you're scaring me-"

"Shhhh, I would never hurt you" he reassured but his grip was still tight around her arm as he let his free hand drift upwards to cup her cheek, "never. All I want is to keep you safe, that's why I'm doing this… for you"

"But… we're running. Stiles, running _never_ works"

"It will this time. Just me and you…"

She didn't have any words left to express herself, the back of her throat closing off as he suddenly whipped his head to the side, eyes widening as he listened intently to something she couldn't or didn't want to hear off into the distance.

"They're here" he muttered, fear drowning in his voice as his hands drifted downwards to cup her shoulders, "the cops…"

"It's okay, I'll explain-" she tried to meet him halfway, to make him understand and rationalise what he was doing but he just shook his head frantically, murmuring a continuous string of no's under his breath.

"S-Stiles please-"

" _Shhhhh"_ he hushed her, his hand coming up between them to cover her mouth, pressing her back into the tree so she could feel the rough bark digging into her skin through the thin material of the hospital gown, "don't speak"

She wriggled, trying to push at his chest but he remained unmoving, holding her still as the deputy's voices inched closer but he pressed his body against hers, hiding them both. But despite the tears falling freely down her cheeks, dampening his hand as he muffled her sobs, he didn't let up, his wild eyes flickering from side to side as he panicked, praying to god they wouldn't be found.

She didn't know what was going on with him - something, clearly. He was acting irrational and erratic, totally caught up in his own head as he threw away all logic and reason, shaking his head as she tried to speak against his hand.

"Shhhhh, shhhhhhhh" he whispered, the golden glow of the sun reflecting in his manic eyes, "I'm trying to protect you... I'm keeping you _safe_ " then why did she feel completely unsafe in his presence? "I won't let anyone hurt you ever again Kayla, I promise"

She tried pushing him back again, to escape his smothering stance looming over her but it was no use, he covered her mouth tighter, leaning down to nestle his face between her neck and her shoulder as his lips dusted along her sweaty skin.

"I'm keeping you safe... This way no one will ever get a chance to hurt you again..." she screwed her eyes shut, arching her back as she wriggled again, her chest aching as her panic spread like wildfire but he just held her still until the deputy's passed.

Was he so caught up in the guilt that he couldn't protect her, that she got hurt and he wasn't there to help her that his mind started to crack apart until he lost it? How could she get through to him when he now saw everyone as the enemy, even their friends? He kept her by his side, ignoring her pleas because he wanted - no, he _needed_ to feel like he was doing something, over compensating for all the times he wasn't there when she needed him.

But instead of helping her, all he did was terrify her.

And she honest to god didn't know what would happen next.

* * *

"You're shitting with me right now, right? This is some kind of sick joke?"

Scott shared a worried look with Lydia, the latter pursing her lips in deep thought, "I'm sure it's not as bad as it sounds-"

Dylan scoffed loudly and Scott got the impression that if he continued talking, trying to downplay this, the newly resurrected Hale werewolf would have no qualms about knocking him out – after all, don't mess with someone's baby sister, even though now – technically – Kayla was the oldest at this moment in time, It was enough to make Scott's head spin.

"Has that idiot lost his mind?" Dylan demanded, his eyes flashing briefly as he started pacing the length of the animal clinic, "he can't just take my sister on the run with him. I knew I should've stayed at the damn hospital" he ran his hand through his wavy, thick dark hair in annoyance, worry eating him up from the inside out.

"He's not normally this-"

"What, reckless? Disobedient? Careless?"

"Well, actually yeah he's all of those things" Scott muttered, realising he was probably making things worse as Dylan's cheeks flushed a deep red, "I mean, he would never hurt her. He was probably just not thinking and wanted Kayla with him. I understand his reasoning, they're each other's anchors"

"Cute" Dylan deadpanned, so similarly to Kayla's attitude Scott felt Lydia shoot him a knowing look, "but I swear to god if _anything_ happens to her-"

"He would never hurt her" Lydia reiterated, "I haven't been Stiles' biggest fan lately, I know that, but he loves the bones off her. Question his decisions, but not his devotion. Until this blows over we just need to stay calm and focused"

"Lydia's right" Scott nodded, "we need to talk to Sophie, get her to admit these charges are-"

"Bullshit?" Dylan crossed his arms, cocking an unamused brow as he stopped his pacing, "good idea, I'll go have a word-"

"Yeah, not happening" Lydia grabbed his arm, stopping him before he could storm out, using her strength to hold him back, "you go in there throwing accusations and attacking her, she's not going to admit to anything. I'll go" she said definitively, with no room for anyone to argue, "she might be a little more receptive to me"

"And if that doesn't work, I'll go in" Dylan added, sending Lydia a look as she went to open her mouth, "good cop, bad cop routine. Don't you watch any television?"

Lydia rolled her eyes, "later. She's not awake yet. I overheard the doctors saying she should wake mid afternoon"

"And what are we supposed to do until then?" Dylan demanded, "wait around doing nothing?"

"No, not nothing" Lydia sighed, "I assume no one has brought you up to date with the Deadpool list?"

"The what?"

"Yeah-" Lydia sighed heavily, "-thought that"

* * *

By the time Stiles guided them from the woods, it was already well past noon, the midday sun blinding her as she tottered along behind him, her bare feet in agony as he ushered them along the back streets of town until he took a sharp left and started veering them towards what was known as the rough part of time – basically where the druggies and low lives hung out and her back stiffened, scurrying a little closer to Stiles' side as he finally located a small beat down motel, the hanging sign that read 'the shack' broken and hanging on one side and turned to her, cupping her shoulders.

"Stay here okay? Will you do that for me?"

She didn't exactly have any other option – although acting odd, Stiles was the one thing she was attached to in her fragile state.

She nodded and he breathed a sigh of relief, tilting his head forward to kiss her forehead but she flinched, dropping her gaze and he sighed sadly, sending her a sad look as he quickly ducked into the motel, presumably to rent them a room and she just pressed her back into the dingy wall, wrapping Stiles' jacket tighter around her.

Luckily for her, there wasn't that many people around but what few there were they barely sent her a curious glance – well, she supposed she was in druggie central, they had probably seen worse than some half dead looking girl in a hospital gown.

Stiles reappeared just a minute later, probably panicked that she would run off but he wasted no time in grasping her shoulders and leading her forward until they reached room seven, hurriedly unlocking the door and ushering her in.

The dingy motel room consisted of just a queen sized bed and a chest of drawers that looked to be on its last legs, a small wardrobe pressed against one wall and a ghastly mud colour painted the walls. It reminded her of her days with Aiden… waking up in some questionable motel with scratchy sheets wrapped around her body, blunt ends stubbed out on the table, stale smoke fogging up the air, mould filling her nostrils.

"It's, uh… it's not perfect but it will do" Stiles said, his jerky hands quickly pulling the nets down on the window but not before glancing out in paranoia, "I paid off the guy behind the desk with an extra hundred bucks not to sell us out if anyone comes asking questions"

She nodded silently, wrapping her arms around her torso as she avoided his stare, her gaze locked onto a small spider making its way across the matted carpet.

"Kaylz… I-I didn't want this, putting you through this-" he shook his head, "-it was never my intention but I couldn't just leave you… I couldn't. I want to fix us – properly"

She bit the inside of her bottom lip, keeping her stare lowered, "we can't be fixed Stiles" she whispered, "not now. Not after everything"

"Why-why would you say that?" he stumbled out, sliding forward and she flinched a little at the suddenness of his movement, "me and you. it's the only thing that makes sense"

"Because I fucked everything up…" she explained sadly, "I did. And I take full responsibility for that and now… now I feel like I'm losing my mind…" she ran a hand through her tuggy hair, screwing her eyes shut briefly before peeling them back open, refocusing her stare back on the spider still inching across the floor just a little to the side of her, "there comes a point where… where even duct tape can't fix things" she said sadly, "we've come to that point"

"I don't believe that" he shook his head quickly, "screw the duct tape" he exclaimed, "let's take a trip to the mechanics, no matter how much time and money it costs" the analogy making perfect sense for the two of them, "and if that doesn't work, we'll just go to another mechanics. A better one"

She shook her head, her bottom lip wobbling, "you deserve… happiness" she said simply, finally raising her head to look at him, "not this, not me" she shrugged, "I… I feel it. I feel myself losing it… slowly… but indefinitely"

"Then let me help…." He pleaded, reaching to cup her cheeks and she let him, tears blurring her vision, "please Kaylz…"

"There's nothing you can do, this guilt is mine and mine to endure" she murmured softly, "you have your own problems"

"The only problem I have is my girlfriend not letting me help her…" he stated, an annoyed scowl decorating his face.

She pulled his hands away, turning her back to him as she tried to even out her breathing, "you're losing it too Stiles, just like me…"

"I'm not losing _anything"_ he exclaimed, "I'm fine _… I'm fine"_

She flinched, covering her ears at his shout and involuntarily curled her shoulders a little, willing away the sharpness of his voice and her apparent fear was like a punch to the gut, swallowing some deep breaths to control his chaotic and wild emotions.

"I'm-I'm sorry for shouting" he apologised for what felt like the hundredth time in the last twenty four hours, "I just… can we please stop talking about us being done? I can't handle that, not now, not ever, alright?"

He saw her shoulders shake a little, trying to hold back her tears as she slowly limped to the bed, collapsing down onto it and closing her eyes as she perched at the edge of the bed, letting the waves of incapacitating emotions engulf her entire being.

"I still love you Stiles…" she whispered, voice so meek and quiet he almost missed it, "I'll always love you… and it's because I love you that I'm doing this. You deserve better"

"And you deserve someone that didn't drop you like a stone when things got hard" he sighed, "we've both made mistakes"

"Mine are worse" she muttered, "I turned evil. Twice" she added, "there's no excuse for what I did. A reason, maybe. But not an excuse"

"It wasn't your fault… not entirely" he added as she let out a dubious sound as he sat next to her, keeping enough space between them as to not freak her out too much, "I was only in hell for what felt like a day, maybe two, and even now I can feel the effect it had on me… that fear, that darkness, it's like poison" she was gazing at him shyly, watching as he composed himself calmly and spoke, "maybe I'm still scared and that's why I ran, I don't know, But I understand just a fraction of what you went through and… and it breaks my heart thinking about it. You didn't deserve that torment Kayla"

She shrugged, "and you didn't deserve to die. I made my choice"

He glanced down at his lap, his mind flooding with unwanted memories, "I still have nightmares about it… you… you laying there in my arms, bleeding out… trying to tell me you loved me… it's as vivid in my mind like it was happening now, over and over again. And out of every shitty thing that's happened in my life… that was the worst. Not just because you were dying, that the love of my life was _dying_ in my arms, but because everything I put faith and hope into – our future, our lives, were gone. You died Kayla and I… I _lost_ myself" he explained softly, "half of me died with you and I've never… I've never felt right since. Like I'm broken. And losing you again scares me because I-I just got you back… I don't want to leave you, not again. If something were to happen to you… and you left… I would fall apart… you see why I had to take you with me?" he peered across to her, watching the glistening tears, "because, without you, I'd lose my fight"

She couldn't stop her eyes from welling up, now truly realising just how sad he actually was. She knew her death affected him, she would be a fool not too, but this much? She never realised, or never wanted to.

"Every night… every night up until I couldn't, I would go to your grave… bring you fresh daisy's, or some wildflowers because that place was so dull, so empty, and I would fall asleep there… wishing I was holding your hand, praying for a miracle… and I got one" he added simply, "I got you back, against all odds. And what I did with Sophie-" he winced as she dropped her gaze at the painful reminder, "-was… it was a mistake, because you're the only person I ever want to try with and I will. I will try. I will fix this. I will help you" he reached out and she stared hesitantly as his hand stroked her cheek but forced herself to relax, to believe his words, to push her fear and unease to one side, "if you let me…"

She closed her eyes, leaning into his touch, "Stiles… what if I can't be fixed?" she muttered, her worst fears coming to light, "what if I… what if living this life, with this guilt, is my new hell?"

"I won't let it be" he murmured, "I promise"

"No, no more promises" she shook her head, "too many have been broken, by both of us"

"Not this one" he vowed, bringing her in closer until they could feel each other's breath on the other's face, their eyes clashing.

"I don't want to hurt you again Stiles…"

"And I don't want to hurt you" he replied, his knuckles grazing her cheek.

"But what if we do?" she questioned, "what if we're destined to just not end up together?"

"But what if we are?" he said back softly, "do you want to miss the chance to try?"

A single tear caught her eyelash and trailed down her cheek, "I'm losing my mind… I can-I can feel it. Like the-the flashing lights you get before a migraine. I'm losing it Stiles… I'm losing it and I… I'm scared" she whispered, "I'm _scared_ "

"I know, I know" he hushed, finally bringing her forward into a gentle but crushing hug, smothering her small frame in his protective grip as he started rocking her, his lips ghosting over her sweaty hair, "but you're safe" he bit back the rest of that intended sentence, realising where they were wasn't exactly the safest or reassuring of places, "I won't let anything happen to you"

"B-But you can't make them go away" she sobbed, "you can't see them"

He hugged her tighter, "see who?"

There was a pregnant pause as she sniffed, trying to calm her ragged breathing, "the dead" she said, so hauntingly quiet he got a chill, "they want me back"

He pulled back, tilting her head up so their stares clashed, "Kayla… how long have you been seeing them?"

She gulped, terrified eyes widely fixated on him, "since… since the woods. But I-I heard them for longer. They want me back" she repeated, her voice scarily eerily, "is this… is it real? Or in my head?"

He didn't know – he didn't know and that terrified him.

"I… I…" he was at a loss, totally stuck. Maybe he was out of his comfort zone, but he would be damned if he didn't at least try.

"I don't know" he decided to be upfront and honest, no matter what, no more lies, "but I'll find out. Till the end of the road, remember?"

At first she didn't reply, too fixated on staring at him but eventually, after several agonising seconds, she nodded, "e-end of the road"

 **A/N) RIP MY HEART OUT AND STOMP ON IT WHY DON'T YOU SELF god dammit haha so mostly angsty stayla cos Stiles is losing it too, but then cute supportive stayla - TILL THE END OF THE ROAD THEIR COUPLE PHRASE and a little Lydia and dyan lol – see sometimes im good to you haha and I know, little shorter but im so tired, and speaking of that ots like 2am and ive to be up in five hours (whoops) so please please review and I will love yall forever, see ya soon x**

 **tumblr - fanficanatic - see edits, sneek peaks, pics, ask questions etc x**


	59. Chapter 59 - Showdown

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any way, shape or form – sorry for the long delay, just not been feeling like myself lately, maybe because I had a shit placement idk, maybe its more mental but im refinding my motivation so sorry this isn't really a chapter, more like an extended preview for the actual chapter I plan to write up but better than nothing though right? Lol, but nice to see that only like 2 people missed me lmao, feeling the love, anyways, enjoy this crappy bunch of words that I feel like crying over. Oh. And happy new year.**

He pulled back the white net drapes a little, peering out the corner of the murky glass onto the near empty street, just a homeless man sitting on cardboard and an older woman sweeping the sidewalk within sight. He picked the right place – although not exactly high end or well, _safe_ , people didn't ask questions. It was just the way things worked in this part of town.

He let the drapes fall back to their rightful place when the homeless man looked around, well aware he was acting paranoid but he didn't care, not now. He had a right to be paranoid given the fact the entire police force was out for his blood, ready to throw him in a cell for something he never even _did_.

Stiles sighed heavily, scrubbing at his eyes as he turned back around and his gaze fell on Kayla, watching as she toyed with the hem of the hospital gown as she perched on the edge of the bed, his jacket around her small frame drowning her and making it look heavy upon her fragile exterior.

"You should get some sleep" he commented, his eyes filled with nothing but worry as they watched her cower and flinch every time her mind showed her something that couldn't possibly be real, at least in this reality, but was very real to her in her current state of mind but her eyes flickered to the side, focusing on something next to the wall.

"Kaylz?" he asked hesitantly, his gaze following her line of sight but not seeing anything remotely disturbing apart from some questionable mould, "can you hear me?"

She swallowed thickly, shaking her head once to clear whatever thoughts had entered her mind and peered over to him in distress, "you really can't hear them? At all?"

His heart raced in panic, hating how upset she was getting, "no… no I can't hear them Kayla, I'm sorry. But maybe… maybe, you know, this is just a response to your guilt-"

"No" she cut him off sharply, "it might well be in my head but it's _real"_ she reached up, roughly cupping her ears and snapping her eyes shut, "it's real, it's real, it's real, it's real-"

"Hey, hey shhhh" he kneeled down in front of her, cupping her bare knees with his palms but she jumped at the sudden intrusion to her personal space, scrambling back onto the bed like she had heard a gun shot and he threw his hands in the air, showing her he meant no harm, "it's okay, it's just me, calm down"

Her frantic gaze was locked on his, bottom lip shaking, "they're so loud Stiles… they're so _loud_ "

He nodded, communicating gently that he understood, that he wasn't going to contradict her, "try and find a way to shut them out, to quieten whatever they're saying" he suggested quietly, "find… find that anchor Kaylz"

She was still staring at him, tears welling in her eyes because to her he had, and always will be, her anchor – the one thing that could pull her back, and he had. He had pulled her back from the edge so many times she had lost count. He wasn't perfect, god no, but he was the person she couldn't live without. The person that would always have a piece of her heart. The person she wanted to be better for, because he deserved the best version of her, not this fucked up monster she had turned into. The person that always knew how to get through to her.

His words washed over her, soothing her slightly as she tried to regulate her breathing, to get back control of her wild and chaotic emotions but those furious whispers were unsettling her right to her core – they had just gotten louder and clearer after each minute that passed, their gravelly deathly voices calling her name, echoing around her as she felt her body shivering, an icy coldness sweeping throughout her. Similar to the feeling of when she first died. When she experienced that warmth and acceptance only to get it ripped from her as she got dragged down to hell and it was… _terrifying_. Like the dead was slowly chipping at her soul, trying to claim it back.

After all – the dead really shouldn't come back.

"But… but you're my anchor…" she whispered, "and-and with things the way they are-"

"Whatever has happened hasn't changed the way I feel about you" he reassured, replacing his hands back on her knees which she let him do, "whatever negative things I've felt and feel... it doesn't erase the good we had, the good we still could have" he reassured, "so if I'm your anchor then use me. Use me to gain back control"

She swallowed thickly, her eyes dropping to watch the way his fingers absentmindedly stroked her bare scraped knees before she screwed them shut, remembering every little thing she felt for Stiles – from the very first moment their eyes clashed to this exact second where she could hear his breathing, and even to the future she could still imagine with him – kids and everything.

But it was too much. It wasn't all in her head – well, it was, but it was still real. She wasn't just imagining the voices, seeing the shadows flit across her vision, she was experiencing torment from the other side, and all because three crazy people decided to make her cross back over.

She couldn't stop the voices, couldn't stop the pain they caused her, couldn't stop anything because they were much much stronger than her, worming their way into her head.

She let out a frustrated noise, shaking her head as she pushed herself back from Stiles, feeling like she somehow let him down. Disappointed him. She was weak after all. Weak, through and through.

"Kaylz…" he murmured sadly, watching as she shuffled back on the bed until she was pressed against the headboard, wrapping her arms around her knees, "it's okay"

"No it's not" she muttered, "how is any of this okay?"

Well… she did have a point.

Stiles sighed heavily, pushing himself up to stand as he stared at her sadly, still feeling like there was a brick wall between them. That, although they loved each other, they weren't on the same wavelength anymore. There was so much shit and baggage on both their sides, that it was fucking them both up entirely.

"We'll get through this, I guarantee you that baby" he whispered, shuffling forward a little to hover over her, "me and you… it's the only thing that makes a shred of sense right now and I'll fix it. This whole thing with Sophie will blow over-" she flinched at the reminder of that, feeling sick to her stomach, "-you'll get better, and things will go back to being normal" he vowed, leaning down to press his lips to the top of her matted hair, savouring the moment and the scent of her body before pulling back, "me, you and normal Kaylz, I know it"

She wanted to believe him, she did, but she just had this nagging thought replaying in the back of her head.

That _nothing_ would ever be normal again.

 **4 hours later –**

His anxiety was now her anxiety. His fear, hers too. His terror she felt rattling her very bones as he tightened his grip around her neck, holding her tightly against his chest as he hovered over the ledge of the building.

She thought back to the last four hours – how he had been getting… tense. Like something poisonous was sweeping through him but she never noticed until it was too late. Until it felt like he had completely lost it. Her Stiles would _never_ do this.

" _Back off"_ he screamed, "just back off or I swear to god-"

"Okay, okay Stiles, whatever you need" Parrish stated calmly, waving down the other deputies that had surrounded them on the roof of the motel, guns trained on them, "just try and calm down, we're not here to hurt you-"

"Of course you are" Stiles exclaimed loudly, hugging her tighter to his body like a shield, the tears dripping off his jawline and falling to her shoulder, "everyone is, every single _thing_. But I didn't do the things you think I did, I didn't. I wouldn't hurt anyone, I wouldn't" but his grip was tightening a little more with his anxiety and she panicked at the claustrophobic feeling suddenly pressing against her chest and squirmed a little but the deputies mistook that for her being hurt or scared of something Stiles was about to do and they reached for their guns again.

"Lower your weapons" Parrish stated, glaring at the deputies before choosing to walk forward a couple of steps, "Stiles… we just want to straighten things out, before anyone gets hurt" he reassured, "now you don't want to hurt Kayla do you?"

Stiles sniffed, "n-no, I would never hurt her" he said, with no room to argue, "I'm the one that wants to _protect_ her"

"Then let her go" Parrish bargained, "Stiles… let her go and step away from the ledge. Look at her, go on, look at her, you're scaring her" she willed away her own tears as she felt her legs shaking, feeling the edge of the roof just inches away from her heels as Stiles sniffed, glancing down as he held her around the neck and maybe she really did look fearful, or it could've been the tears, but either way she heard his breath catch, hating himself for treating her this way.

"It's okay Stiles just... Just let her go" Parrish said gently, "if you love her, let her go"

He was silently crying, unable to understand why or how he was doing the things he was doing, just knowing that his mind was messed up and he couldn't _think_ \- couldn't control his emotions but although he was Kayla's anchor, it worked both ways. She was his _human_ anchor - the person that always brought him back, no matter what. Of course he didn't want to put in her harms way.

His face screwed up as he tried anything to stop more hot tears from spilling down his cheeks, burying his face into the crook of her neck as he savoured her scent and the feel of her safe in his arms - well, safe was debatable at this moment in time but he pretended she was. Pretended he was the one holding her, protecting her from the big bad world like he had always wanted to - just like that fateful night in the school. He imagined that he saved her, that he was still saving her and let out a muffled cry as he dropped his arms from around her quivering body, feeling her gasp slightly in relieve as she fell forward in exhaustion and that was the moment many things happened at once.

His body sagged over, completely spent of energy and loss of fight, his feet shuffling backwards.

Parrish started forward, ready to pull Kayla away and diffuse this hellish sitution that had somehow escalated to a standoff on the roof of the motel.

Kayla, instead of finding safety, swivelled her head back around to look at him and although there was fear and concern in her eyes, there was also nothing but pure devotion, like she wasn't ready to leave him.

And the most unusual of all - the wind picked up. Maybe he was just being over observant in his numb state but he noticed that the most. Maybe because it wasn't a breezy day, the sun beating down on them heavily but he focused on the feel of the cool breeze sweeping through his hair, distracting him from the hell he was in.

Distracting him a little too much as he felt a desperate and sudden scream of his name, so high pitched it sent shivers down his spine.

That was when his foot slipped, his eyes widening in shock and the sound Kayla made was inhumane as she screeched, desperately flinging herself forward to grab his hand but he was already falling and the jolt her body got as she slipped head first off the ledge was bone shattering.

 **a/n) yeah like I said I'm sorry for the wait, and I know this small chapter is shit and kinda muddled but it will be filled in in the next chapter but I felt I had to do something so please let me know what you think bad or good, and I hope to see you all soon X**


	60. Chapter 60 - Breaking from reality

**Disclaimer] teen wolf is not mine :( YO GUYS IM BACK I'm so sorry for the wait but I want to thank you all for your patience and again, I'm so sore been struggling recently with stuff and just lost myself for a little while, but I'm back sooooo please don't stop reading lol. Thanks for your support and I hope y'all enjoy :)**

"I'm sorry sheriff, it just happened so fast-"

"Where is my son?"

Parrish flinched a little at the sheriff's worried and demanding tone, suddenly feeling very small as he dropped his gaze a little but nodded down the corridor where they had wheeled Stiles down just a few seconds prior.

"He was unconscious but the EMT's didn't think there were any broken bones or anything serious. It was a relatively low drop"

The sheriff scrubbed a hand down his face in tense anxious worry, the creases carved into his skin appearing to deepen, ageing him severely as the light shone heavily upon him and cast dark, looming shadows across his haunted expression.

"What the hell happened?"

Parrish sighed, not even sure how to begin to explain.

"We um… we found them camped out in a run-down motel. We intended for it to go peacefully, to just take Stiles in like you said but he fled to the roof, dragged Kayla with him. I talked him out of doing anything rash and it worked, he let Kayla go but then I don't know if he lost focus or if it was intentional but he just… fell" he said simply, "Kayla tried to grab him but uh, she fell with him"

"Is she okay?"

"Physically? Yeah" Parrish nodded, "nothing more than some bruises and scrapes but um…"

The sheriff crossed his arms, cocking a brow at the younger man as they stood in the middle of the hospital corridor, the message he was conveying was an obvious 'you better keep going or else your ass is going to get handed to you'.

"She was hysterical. They had to give her something to calm her down, that's the only reason she's in hospital otherwise she has a clean bill of health"

"Hysterical? Exactly how bad?"

"… They've contacted Eichen House" Parrish admitted and the sheriff briefly let his head fall forward in defeat, "she wasn't making any sense, screaming stuff about the dead coming to get her, about how she was to be blamed for everything. They managed to sedate her just as she started talking about how she murdered people"

The sheriff sighed heavily, casting a weary and worried glance down the corridor to where his son was being treated and pointed a finger against Parrish's chest, "stay here, if there's any news about Stiles come and get me immediately"

Parrish nodded, "she's just down the corridor" but the sheriff was already away, his heavy feet padding across the floor at an increased speed as he glanced through every square window but didn't come across who he was looking for until he got to the end of the corridor and stopped suddenly, his breath catching as he peered through the glass and saw Kayla strapped to the bed in nightgown, whatever drugs they gave her helping to keep her body calm bar the occasional squirm or spasm but although her body appeared relaxed, her eyes told a completely different story.

"Oh kiddo..." he whispered sadly, pursing his lips as he slowly pushed the door open and despite her drugged state he watched her muscles tense, her wide eyes swivelling to rest on him in terror.

"It's okay kid, it's me. Just me" he reassured, closing the door as gently as possible and inching forward a couple of steps into the hospital room, his eyes drifting over the leather cuff restraints wrapped around her dainty wrists and ankles and compared to a couple of months ago when she first returned, when she was confident and cocky and full out psychopath, she looked so... broken. So... _unrecognisable_.

"You can't be here" she whispered, her voice daunt and full of fear, "they don't like you being here"

He frowned, coming up beside her bed, "Kayla... there's no one here but you and I"

She shook her head slowly, craning her neck back like a nervous tick as her forehead shone with fresh sweat, "you can't see them. You can't see them because you weren't dead for two months" he flinched at the reminder, "but I can... and they want me" she whispered the last part so quietly the sheriff had to strain his ears to catch her shaky voice, "... they want me back..."

"Well they're not going to have you" he said defiantly, "now please listen to me sweetheart alright?"

She tugged at the restraints again but her tired limbs fell back to the bed in exhaustion, her head slowly shaking, "no, no, no, no, no-"

"Shhhhhh" he reassured, bending down a little to try and ease her anxiety, stroking a hand across the top of her messy hair, "it's okay kiddo, and I know that this guilt and turmoil is eating you up inside, I understand" he sympathised, "but I need you to try and-" what? Act normal? Don't show your crazy? "-and overcome this" he settled on saying, "I don't want to see you end up in Eichen House and when they send someone to assess you and they see you like this, you won't have a choice but to go" he explained, still stroking her sweaty hair in that fatherly, affectionate way, "so please kiddo, just take a deep breath with me"

She was peering up at him, entire body tense and restless as her hollow, haunted gaze locked on his but she listened - by whatever miracle she listened - and copied the way he was inhaling and then exhaling slowly, her breathing becoming a little less erratic.

"Good girl" he praised quietly, lowering himself down to perch at the edge of her bed as he continued running his fingers through her loose hair, "I know it's hard but try and ignore the voices, tune them out, find something else to focus on. They only have as much power as you allow them to have"

He knew he was probably talking a load of BS but this entire situation was way out of his comfort zone. It was a mixture of supernatural and mental health, neither of which he was particularly enthralled with but he knew he had to try his best.

"Just try and ignore them, push them away... do whatever it takes to gain back control..."

She gulped, her gaze breaking away from his for a split second to focus on something over his shoulder and judging by her terror he knew whatever she was seeing was nothing good but he shook his head, tilting his head a little to the side to catch her stare again.

"No kiddo, focus on me" the sheriff said firmly, "focus on my voice and hear my words okay? You're _stronger_ than this" he murmured, "you're a strong girl Kayla. I've watched you go through so much and you've grown from it" he praised, "I've watched you fight, and grieve... I've seen you break and then piece yourself back together again... I've seen things that I didn't think were possible. Like how... how I saw you dead, laying there dead and gone and then burying you until just two months later having you back. You're the impossible girl, who can do the impossible, so please... keep fighting. The last thing I want for you, for the girl who is like a daughter to me, is to go to Eichen House. I've seen what that place does to people Kayla..."

Her eyes were brimming with fresh tears, her pale face looking shockingly thin and gaunt and just when it seemed she was about to lose it again, to start crying hysterically or shaking or screaming her lungs out, the hospital room door opened and the sheriff jumped, glancing around and shielding her body protectively as two people kitted out in white orderly uniforms walked in.

"I'm sorry sheriff, I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

"Brunski" the sheriff said through gritted teeth, "I really don't think this is appropriate-"

"We are well within our limitations to... _assess_ -" he chose his words carefully, the sheriff could tell, "-this young lady. Do you really want her not to get the help she needs?"

"The help she needs is nothing that you can offer-" he went to stand, to try anything to stop this process but just as he did, a weak small hand curled around his wrist and he looked down to see Kayla stretching her cuffed hand as much as possible to grab at him, her eyes wide but shimmering under the glassy, terrified stare was some degree of understanding.

Her chapped, shaking lips opened, her tongue darting out to wetten them, "it's-it's okay... I'm o-okay"

He knew he didn't have a choice in the matter so just nodded, twisting his hand so he could hold hers, squeezing it as reassurance and brushing her hair one last time before stepping out of the room, giving Brunski and the other orderly a suspicious glance as he did so, feeling guilt at leaving but just hoping that his words worked, even just for a little while.

Eichen House was nothing short of hell.

And that kid had seen more then enough hell. She didn't deserve any more.

He sighed heavily, feeling double his age with worry and stress just as Parrish shouted his name from the other end of the corridor and he looked up, quirking a brow.

"Stiles is awake" Parrish confirmed and the sheriff blew out a breath of relief and started briskly walking down the corridor and rushed into Stiles' room to see his son fidgeting under the blankets, a pained and slightly confused expression on his face as he jerked in annoyance at the handcuffs around his left wrist, attached to the bed rail.

"They said I have two broken ribs and a concussion" he mumbled, "and now I'm going to go to jail for something I didn't do, just because I had sex with a girl and she turned psycho"

"I'm so happy you're okay" the sheriff closed his eyes briefly, letting the relief wash over him, "what the hell happened up on that roof?"

"I... I don't know" Stiles muttered miserably, "it was like there were two me's... the normal me, watching this other crazy me do all these weird things. I felt like I was losing my mind... wait" his voice suddenly dropped pitch, his eyes widening, "where's Kayla-?"

"She's okay" the sheriff knew he was stretching the truth but it had to be done, "no injuries except bruising"

Stiles sagged back against the pillows, shoulders hunching down in relief, "thank god... if something happened to her..."

"She's okay" the sheriff repeated, trying for a small smile, "but we need to fix this Sophie situation" Stiles paled a little, his jaw clenching nervously, "Lydia and Dylan are going to speak with her"

"I didn't push her-"

"I know Stiles, I know" he reassured, cupping his son's shoulder, "what's the chances I could convince you to take another sleep?"

Stiles cocked his brow, a stubborn expression twisting his features, "non existent dad"

And despite the annoyed eye roll the sheriff gave, he couldn't help but let that familiar amused quirk pull at his lips. His son was just as hard headed and defiant as always, he was glad that hadn't changed. Stiles had been not himself lately, well... since Kayla died really, so it was reassuring to see some of his old qualities shining through.

"Okay, well, you're supposed to rest" the sheriff said, with no room to argue in his tone, "but for the mean time, you don't need these" he bent down, unclasping the cuffs from his son's wrist, "you're not going to do another runner, are you?"

Stiles gulped guiltily before smirking, "hand on heart. But uh... can I see Kayla?"

The sheriff inaudibly winced, swallowing his concerns for the girl, "not yet. Soon, I promise"

"I just want to tell her how sorry I am... she was trying so hard to cope and I just made things a thousand times worse-"

"I'm sure she knows. Now just relax. We'll sort everything out"

The sheriff just hoped it would be as easy as he made it out to be.

* * *

"No" Lydia pointed a finger in Dylan's face, making him go cross eyed as he focused on the point of her perfectly manicured sharp nail, nails he was sure would hurt a hell of a lot if he did something wrong and ended up on the receiving end of a slap, "no wolfing out on her. We're trying to make her talk, not traumatise her into Eichen House"

"It's a persuasion tactic" Dylan defended himself, "when people get scared, they tend to start talking and never stop"

"Which could draw attention to you" Lydia remarked, cocking her head to the side as they stood outside Sophie's hospital room, "which you really don't need, especially since you're recently back from the grave"

"Uh... okay, good point"

The redhead smirked smugly, "just let me do most of the talking and follow my lead"

Dylan managed a sarcastic obedient salute just as Lydia spun around and pushed open the door, letting herself in boldly and he had no choice but to follow her, throwing a cautious look over his shoulder to check no one was watching them suspiciously and hurried in, closing the door behind her.

"Sophie... sweetheart..." Lydia's coo was so overly bright and cheerful Dylan smirked to himself at the falsity of it, "so good to see you awake"

The blonde in the bed immediately stiffened and Dylan heard her heart pick up pace, like she was running a never ending marathon, "Ly-Lydia?"

"You remembered my name? Good" her voice suddenly dipped in volume, a serious expression twisting her pretty face as she strode up to her bed and wrapped her dainty hands around the metal bedrails, "because you have a lot of explaining to do"

The girl gulped, bright blue eyes flitting over to Dylan and assessing him before focusing back on Lydia, "who's he?"

"A friend" Lydia butted in before Dylan could get a word in edgeways, "a friend who is curious about why you turned into a lying manipulative cow"

Dylan looked over at Lydia in amazement, watching her face screw into determination and protectiveness and knew she was ready to do anything to get this girl to talk, for the sake of her friends.

"I-I don't know what you're talking a-about..."

"Enough of the blubbering" Lydia waved her hand, cutting off Sophie's scared and emotional words, "you lied. You lied and caused all this. Do you know how much trouble Stiles is in because of you?"

"I-I Just... I... not lying-"

"You naive, stupid little girl" Lydia continued and Dylan just relaxed his upright posture because he was more than sure Lydia had all this sorted, "I know this might be difficult for your immature brain to understand, but accusations like this can ruin someone's life. Someone's reputation. Someone's relationships. As well as someone's family. If you're okay with having that on your conscious, then you're a very cold hearted bitch"

Sophie's bottom lip wobbled, eyes unable to leave Lydia's, "S-Stiles hurt me..."

"Emotionally? Yes, no doubt about that" Lydia nodded, "but physically?" She shook her head, "we both know that's not true"

Sophie's eyes dropped in shame, fiddling with the blankets, "he deserves it..."

"Why?" Lydia demanded, "because things never worked out for you two? Well you better used to it, because lots of things don't work out for a lot of people. It's called life. And yeah it sucks, and yeah it hurts but there's nothing no one can do about it. And you need to grow the hell up and understand this"

"Because he... he-"

"No" Lydia cut her off, grabbing her wrist before she could try and grab the help call button, "no, listen to me. You _need_ to hear this. If you're prepared to live with the guilt of ruining Stiles' life, his dad's life, Kayla's life, then go ahead, keep this pretence up... go the rest of your life telling people that this guy hurt you, when you know you did it yourself for some petty, ill tempered revenge"

Sophie tried to jerk away from Lydia's grip but despite them both being small and dainty lydia clearly had the upper hand, not even flinching from the blondes weak attempts to break her grip, "and you will feel guilt" Lydia warned, "when you have to go to court, relay all these lies to the judge. When you see the sheriff have to quit his job as sheriff and spiral. When you hear about Kayla who lost herself because she lost everything. Are you prepared to ruin three lives because of your immaturity?"

Lydia was right, Dylan realised... she did have this handled. In fact he didn't even know why he was here, he was just a spectator.

"Tell the truth" Lydia implored, "Just tell the truth before it gets worse. Do it now while people might still understand and sympathise"

Sophie's blue eyes welled with crystal tears, trying to tune out what Lydia was saying but it hitting home - hard - and she was starting to really feel the guilt.

"I-I didn't think" Sophie exclaimed, "I was just hurting so much..."

Lydia breathed a sigh of relief, realised she had broken Sophie and let go of her, standing back up straight and sharing a reassuring look with Dylan who smiled back.

"And it's okay to do things without thinking sometimes, but blaming someone for something they didn't do is a really bad thing to do" Lydia said softly, feeling like she was teaching some elementary school kid the difference between right and wrong, further emphasising Sophie's immaturity and naivety, "especially this bad. Stiles went to a really low place because of it"

"Tell him... tell him I'm sorry"

"I'm sure you can tell him yourself... after you tell the police everything - meaning the _truth_ Sophie" Lydia said seriously, "the sooner the better"

"I will" she nodded, sniffing back her tears, "I promise I... I never wanted things to end up like this"

"You're doing the right thing" Lydia barely smiled, just nodded at the young girl before taking ahold of Dylan's sleeve and pulling him from the room.

"You didn't even need my help in there"

"I did tell you I wouldn't" Lydia smiled faintly, breathing out a long sigh of relief as she rested back against the wall, moving some stray hair from her face, "thank god she admitted it. Apart of me thought she would deny everything and begin to believe her own lies"

"Does this mean Stiles is off the hook now?"

"As soon as Sophie changes her statement, yeah"

"So now what?"

Lydia cocked a brow, "what do you mean?"

"Do things just go back to normal? For him, us, Kayla?"

"... Things are never normal" Lydia shrugged, "but sure, let's work towards that" she grinned, "how about you? Are you ready to try settling back into... this?" She settled on saying, "this living thing?"

Dylan let his gaze fall to the floor, taking a moment to realise, above all certainty, that he was here and alive and now had to make a choice - to let life swallow him whole, or try his damn hardest to survive through it all.

"Yeah, why not" he smirked, shrugging his shoulders, "I'll give it a go"

Lydia rolled her eyes at his joking around, "then you have some serious catching up to do"

"Don't I know it" he grumbled, beginning to follow her down the corridor, "I bet all my favourite shows have finished as well... man, life just sucks right now"

* * *

"You're a good actress Hale, I'll give you that" Brunski murmured near her ear after he bombarded her with question after question, trying to trip her up, catch her out, make her look undeniably crazy, "you've had a lifetime of it I suppose, but you can't fool me. I know exactly what is going on in that pretty little head of yours" kneeling next to her as he stroked his threatening hand through her sweaty, matted hair and despite how soft that action was, his stone cold eyes told a completely different story of what his true intentions were, "you're losing it. I always knew you would one day. Ever since you were that cute little kid of ten, watching your family burn alive. Those memories still haven't completely resurfaced yet, have they?"

She was trying so desperately hard to ignore him but it was either focusing on his voice or the rush of voices inside her head, whispering vile and terrifying things and she didn't know which one she preferred, caught between hearing them both which confused her even more, her brain fogging up.

"I might not get to take you today... formalities and all that crap" Brunski smirked, tilting his head to the side to watch tears collect in her eyes as she gazed just past the right side of his head, her scared eyes following non existent shadows on the wall, just flickers of darkness that did not exist within the normal human reality, "but soon. You can come back to where you belong... back home"

His words set her on edge, leaving an unpleasant bitter taste in her mouth as she kept trying, trying so hard to hold it together, to be normal, but he knew how to push her buttons. How to make her want to crumble but by some miracle she never. She never fell prey to his subtle attacks.

"I'll see you soon" he winked, pushing himself up to stand and nodded to the other orderly to exit the room and she kept her gaze away from following him out, only really letting out a long exhale when the door clicked shut, her slow breaths turning panicked and uneven, tugging mercilessly at the restraints around her dainty limbs but they didn't ease. Before she could escape easily, she had the power, but now she felt weak and worthless, trapped in her own skin.

She caught glimpses of the figures on the monitor next to her increasing, her heart rate beginning to spike and rise the more she panicked, the more her mind was in chaos and it might well have continued that way if she didn't hear the scraping of a door being pushed open and whipped her head to the front, neck craning up as her muscles stiffened at what she saw.

Brown hair. Brown eyes. Dimples. Creamy translucent skin. Confident stature.

That could only mean one person...

"A-Allison" She stuttered, her heart falling as shivers erupted down her spine, "but... but you're _d-dead"_

She got no reply, but unlike the Allison she knew, there was no warmth radiating off her. Just this cold, detached energy, her eyes as hollow as the pits to hell.

"I am. And whose fault is that?"

Kayla visibly flinched, cowering back against the bed as this Allison thing stalked forward stiffly, fired gaze never leaving hers.

" _Yours_ Kayla. _Yours_ because you were too damn slow. I wasn't even the first blood that got spilt because of you, was I? And I wasn't the last"

"No" she shook her head quickly, freezing in terror and shame, "no, this isn't real. You're dead. You're dead. You're de-"

"You should know what's dead doesn't _always_ stay dead" Allison hissed, lunging forward and grabbing her wrist as Kayla shrieked, cowering away from her grip, "why should you be allowed a second chance? It's unnatural. It's wrong. _You're_ unnatural and wrong" the cold voice boomed, "your soul is black and damaged, you're not even _worth_ the air you breathe. It's _all_ your fault, _everything_ is _your_ fault-"

Her eyes had long since snapped shut, fervently trying to tune out the horrors she was being reminded of but it was true, everything was true, it was weighing on her conscious, smothering her, ruining her-

"-yla, stop. Calm down. I said _STOP_ "

Her eyes flew open, body wracked with shakes as her blurry and misty eyes fell on the squiggly outline of someone looming above her and she instinctively went to scream but a hand got slapped over her mouth, silencing her immediately.

"What the hell?" Instead of the cold haunting voice of Allison, there was the familiar brisk tone of Malia, her face slowly beginning to focus, "what is the matter with you?"

She mumbled something against Malia's hand, not really sure what she was saying herself, not even really registering she was talking but it was enough to get Malia to drop her hand, quirking a brow.

"-lison, s-she was here, d-didn't you s-see her? She was t-there" she bobbed her head to where Malia was standing, "A-A-Allison was h-here"

"No she wasn't" Malia said, "it was me. You freaked out as soon as you saw me"

Kayla swallowed thickly, unable to get rid of the uneasy feeling in her gut, "b-but... but I s-saw her..."

A crease formed between Malia's brows, giving Kayla the critical once over, "no Kayla" she said sternly, "Allison isn't here. She's dead"

She flinched at the brutal reminder but collapsed back against the bed in exhaustion, her tense muscles loosening as she gazed at the ceiling above in quiet contemplation, moments of clarity swimming through her head.

"I know she's dead" Kayla muttered, speaking mainly to herself, "I know Allison is dead. She's dead because I-I wasn't quick enough. Allison is dead. Allison is dead. Allison is de-"

"Then why say it?" Malia questioned, "Kayla are you... are you okay?" and despite their difficulties, she sounded concerned and worried, a cautious edge to her tone.

"I... I..." Why was she having such difficulty? Why was she so riled up? Was that hot tears on her face? "I d-don't know. I don't k-know Malia... I don't... I-I don't k-know what's h-happening to m-me"

Her sobs were so utterly devastating and helpless that Malia felt a pang in her chest, her stomach churning with this uncomfortable feeling she could only put down to sympathy.

She was feeling sorry for the girl she once despised.

"Your head isn't working properly" Malia guessed, "I understand. I felt similar when I... returned" this was so unlike Malia but she actually choose those words semi carefully, watching her half sister try to hold herself together, "I'm sorry"

"D-Don't" Kayla whispered meekly through the tears, "I don't d-deserve it"

"Maybe not" Malia agreed, "but you have it" She grazed her hand along Kayla's arm, a subtle show of affection, "let me get someone for you. Stiles maybe?"

Her head was too busy to register the last of Malia's words, this indecipherable chanting ringing in her ears and Malia knew when she was being ignored so sighed heavily and left the room, tracking down Stiles just down the corridor and barged in without even a knock, noticing him trying to stand as he winced, holding his ribs.

"Good to see you're not dead" she greeted, "your girlfriend is losing it. I have no idea what to do" she admitted boldly, "you try. She always seems to respond to you"

"What? What do you mean-?"

"I mean mentally" Malia held the door open for him, basically telling him to hurry the hell up, "I don't even look anything like Allison and she's there screaming her name"

Stiles rushed out as fast as he could, scurrying down the corridor and Malia pointed out Kayla's room and he wasted no time, slipping in more stealthier than Malia thought possible and although tempted to go inside, she hovered back, tilting her head to the side to listen in, slightly annoyed Stiles didn't get the same hysterical reaction like she did, crossing her arms sulkily.

"Oh Jesus..." Stiles whispered, limping further into the room, "dad never mentioned this..."

"Stiles" she gasped, pale and sweating as she wriggled about in the restraints, "they won't stop. They won't stop" she exclaimed, "they keep getting louder and-and the things they're saying is-are so-so-" she started crying, sobbing harder the closer Stiles got, "-I don't know how to-to shut them off. They're everywhere. They're making home in my brain. My skull is so full of them. I feel them. I feel them _moving_ in me. They're saying bad things to me... I don't know how to stop them-"

"Shhh, shhhh" he hushed as quietly as he could, steadying himself on the bed railings as he cupped her cheek, "take a deep breath, nice and slow Kayla, with me okay?"

Just like the way she used to coach him when he was tormented by the nogitsune or overtaken with a panic attack.

But she wasn't listening, unable to process his words.

"They're so loud, they're so _loud_ " she exclaimed, "and-and I feel them _in_ me-"

His heart was breaking apart, swiping his thumb out to try and dry her cheeks but more tears fell soon after, her cheeks red and blotchy.

"It's not real baby, I promise" he vowed, "none of this is real except you and me, right here, right now. Do you believe me?"

She looked like she wanted to, like she was desperately trying to accept his soothing and loving words but her panicked and terrified gaze moved from his eyes to just over his left shoulder, eyes widening in mind numbing shock and fear.

"Kaylz... Kay..." he was gently trying to grab her attention, "it's not real..."

Her breathing slowed a little, share never wavering from whatever she thought she was seeing over his shoulder.

"They want me back..." she whispered, "the dead... they want me back..."

And nothing chilled Stiles more to the bone than that detached and heart achingly devastating sentence.

 **A/N) YOOOO IM BACK again, I suck I know I'm so sorry but I've been struggling real bad lately but I'm getting my mojo back if anyone is still reading lol so I know it's not my best but I would super appreciate your thoughts, it would mean the world and help motivate me back to writing, I sure hope y'all enjoyed and I will definitely see y'all soon haha xxx**


	61. Chapter 61 - The beginning of hell

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any way shape or form (sad face) lol, anyways I know I'm a terrible person it's been ages again but I really am trying so please bear with me because I am so so excited to finish this story and start the next ha, so hope you all enjoy this next update**

The human mind was something so inevitably strong and resilient yet at the same time oh so vulnerable. It could be wonderful and complex, like a perfectly oiled machine, but once it breaks… it needs time and effort to fix it, to get it up and running again, but the thing is with machines once they break down, they're not really the same ever again. The mechanics will never be what they once were.

This is what Stiles was thinking about as he watched Kayla's face crumble, fresh crystal tears escaping her closed lids. Her mind had always worked so well, so quick, like a super charged rocket but now, looking at her, he could see it breaking, cracking apart, her brain now a whirlwind of everything – emotions, memories, muddled perceptions and false beliefs. He was scared that her beautiful mind would never be the same again

"Kaylz…" he whispered, "you're here, you're alive… you're not dead anymore… you're safe with me, with the rest of us, we'll take care of you-"

She whimpered like she was in physical pain, her eyes still screwed shut, "they want me back there, they want me because I-I'm not s-supposed to be a-alive"

He shook his head frantically, trying to coax her attention back to him by cupping her wet, blotchy red cheeks as he hovered over her, his presence somewhat comforting to her, "no Kayla, if anyone deserves to be alive it's you. You're selfless and caring and you've been through too much… you only died to save me… you sacrificed yourself for me… you're not a bad person"

Her eyes shot open, bloodshot gaze suddenly hyper focused on him, "I killed people" she blurted out, her voice shaking and brimming with frantic anxiety, "I… I murdered innocent… good people… and I… I liked it" she whispered the last part, shame pouring from her tone, "I did b-bad things and… and… I deserve… the same…"

"That wasn't you-"

"It was" she cried, "It was me. Everything I did was m-me. I did that and… and… and…"

Her words were getting lost, her chest rising and falling rapidly as her breath whooshed out in quick, forceful pants so he went back to stroking her sweaty hair, trying anything and everything to calm her down.

"I know. I understand" because he did. He knew what that darkness felt like, what it was like to do unspeakable things and have to live with those actions… they were the same in that sense, so he knew the turmoil she was going through, "but you weren't well" he added delicately, "please Kaylz… please hear me"

"Shhhhh…. Shhhhhh" she shook her head, "s-stop it. Stop _trying_ "

"Never" he vowed fiercely, "I've given up on you before and never again. _Never_ , I promise"

They were so caught up in the moment, in this intimate moment of trust and promise that they didn't realise Malia still standing by the door of the hospital room, watching the two curiously. Emotion was now becoming more 'normal' for her but it was still strange to witness and interpret. It made her uncomfortable still, but she couldn't look away. It was like seeing Kayla in that hospital bed, watching her soft and vulnerable side, seeing her guilt was like a turning point for them. Malia thought that maybe it was in that moment a part of her accepted her as her sister.

She stepped forward, uncrossing her arms, "is she still losing it?"

Maybe that direct question wasn't exactly 'acceptable' but she didn't know what else to say, cocking a brow impatiently as Stiles glanced irritability over his shoulder, still hovering over Kayla, his hands stilling in her hair but to their surprise Kayla laughed.

Yes, actually _laughed_.

Although it dissolved into something between laughing and crying, tears still falling down her cheeks, "I've already lost it Malia"

No one knew what to say to that, Malia frowning and Stiles staring down in concern at the girl he loved as she started tugging at the restraints impatiently, her weak limbs thrashing about on the bed.

"I have to g-go" she declared suddenly, "I have to go away. No one wants me here. I need to leave"

"Hey, hey no, relax" Stiles soothed, "you're safe Kaylz-"

"I need to _go"_ She exclaimed, her tone caught between frustration and desperation, "I can't be here, it's not r-right. What Allison said was true" she was crying and Stiles was at a complete loss of what to do, sharing a heartbroken look with a concerned Malia who stepped forward, ready to help Stiles if she suddenly started to get violent, "It's u-unnatural… I should be _dead_ " she sobbed loudly, these helpless, terrified gasps tearing from her throat, "I want to be _dead"_

He had lost her once, he couldn't again. And listening to her voice these thoughts… thoughts that completely tore him apart, he couldn't do it. They had been through too much.

" _No_. No you _don't"_ He emphasised, grabbing her cheeks and forcing her to look up at him, desperation shining in his glassy brown eyes, tears catching on his bottom lid, "you want to be alive. You want to stay and get better and be with me because you want to live and be happy. And I promise, I _promise_ -" he vowed fiercely, "I won't leave. Not again"

She seemed to respond to his words, not fighting back and letting her body sag back against the mattress in exhaustion, "… you will" she whispered, "everyone always does"

And it was then that Malia realised they weren't really all that different. Malia felt like that every single day… that people always left, whether it was their fault or not. Kayla understood that too… they really were quite similar.

"I won't" Stiles mumbled, his thumbs swiping out at her cheeks to dry her tears, "I love you too damn much…"

"I never wanted this to happen" she whispered gravelly, like grains of sand were sticking in the back of her throat, "I just… I just wanted to die to save you… I didn't want this" she sniffed, "I didn't want to be this person…"

Tears clouded his vision, wishing and hoping he could've changed things because her dying was never supposed to happen. He would've taken her place a hundred, thousand, a _million_ times over.

"I know" he murmured, "try and get some sleep… you need your rest"

"They won't let me… they said-they said if I sleep then bad things will happen" she admitted, "I don't want anymore b-bad things to happen"

She was getting beyond reason, he saw that, even in the space of ten minutes she was losing her resilience and letting this psychosis poison her mind and he didn't know how to help her. He was surprised she had kept it together this long because if it was him laying there in that hospital bed, remembering centuries of torture and reliving all that guilt, he would have completely broken down a long long time ago.

"Nothing bad will happen, we'll make sure of it" he said gently, nodding over at Malia, "please Kayla, try and sleep"

She closed her eyes in exhaustion but shook her head, mumbling incoherent things under her breath just as Melissa cautiously entered, nodding at them to leave because she needed a word with them.

He was hesitant to, desperate to stick by her side and look after her but Malia tugged on his shirt sleeve and he winced as it jerked his ribs and threw her a glare but soon followed, sending Kayla a saddened look as he left the room, rubbing at his tired, red bloodshot eyes.

"I'm pushing for a discharge" Melissa opened with, "the assessment Eichen house did was bordering on admission and if she stays and the doctors see her like that? They'll have her transferred before the ink is even dry on the paperwork" she said bluntly, "and we all know Eichen House is not the right place for her. For anybody really"

"I don't want her going in there" he stated harshly, "not again"

"Well…" Malia shrugged, looking totally indifferent and unfazed when Stiles glared at her, "I don't like that place either but they know how to deal with-"

"No, they know how to drug and torture and make life for their patients a living hell" he exclaimed, "you saw that for yourself in the basement before I…" he faltered, gulping back his pain and distress as the thought of the nogitsune creeped into his head, wishing he never stumbled over his words as two pairs of curious brown eyes peered over at him, "before the nogitsune got to me" he continued as smoothly as possible, "all those torture methods you read? They still do that, and I will _not_ let that happen to her"

"And it won't" Melissa soothed, placing a motherly hand over his bicep to calm him down, "I'm working on the discharge papers because, physically, there's nothing wrong with her but doctor Matheson is doing his rounds and he always checks his patients before discharge. So I'm going to give her something that might help"

"What?" Stiles asked cautiously, frowning at the nurse.

"Haloperidol" she sighed, "It's an antipsychotic. Normally these medications only work over time which is something we don't have. If you want to get her out of here…" Melissa shrugged, "you better pray this works"

So prayed he did until his brain physically hurt from it, following Melissa into the room and soothing a muttering Kayla as best he could as she drew the liquid from the vile and injected it into her arm while Malia watched on, her arms crossed over her chest.

He just hoped this calmed her down somewhat, that it was enough to take the edge off so the doctor wouldn't notice anything. He really hoped because he made her a promise that she wouldn't end up in Eichen house and he intended to keep it no matter what.

And by whatever miracle, it did. When the doctor entered her room half an hour later the drugs had sort of a calming effect, making her more docile and sleepy and less reactive to whatever she was seeing or hearing. There was only the occasional shift of the eyes to the corner of the room, or a little lingering on the ceiling above but Doctor Matheson didn't pick up on it, too focused on studying her notes.

"-just take care of your bruises and if you feel any pain at all, over the counter pain killers will relieve that" the doctor summarised, "but you, Miss Hale, are good to go. You're very lucky. In fact you both are" he glanced between the two, "I think you're eligible for discharge too Mr Stilinski. Your concussion is relatively minor and there's no swelling or bleeding. I recommend some over the counter pain killers too for your ribs"

"Thank god" he breathed a sigh of relief, brushing past the doctor to Kayla's side, "Okay baby, time to go. Uh-" he sent the doctor a bland look, hoping this hint was rather obvious, "-thanks. Bye now"

Because he couldn't get much blunter than that.

The doctor sent him a suspicious look but thought no more about it, checking his watch and sighing as he realised he was way behind on his ward rounds and work and hurried from the room but before Stiles could urge Kayla to sit up so they could organise their shit and leave, Melissa stopped him, shaking her head and nodding towards the door where his dad was waiting for him, beckoning him with one finger.

"We'll do it" Melissa smiled, sending an obvious look to Malia who just cocked her brow but never moved from the spot, "go see your dad. It could be something about Sophie's charges against you"

His blood ran cold, a chill erupting down his spine because for these past few moments he had forgotten all about the possible hell that could be waiting in front of him. If Sophie kept lying, kept insisting he pushed her, his life could be ruined. He could be leaving here in the back of his dad's sheriff cruiser instead of with Kayla, looking after her like he needed.

"Uh… o-okay" he mumbled, glancing back down at a sleepy Kayla and leaning forward to press a soft and lingering kiss on her sweaty forehead, stopping himself from saying 'I'll be right back' just in case… well, just in case he wasn't.

He blinked back his scared and heartbroken tears, escaping the room and using all his willpower not to look back and braced himself for the bad news but to his surprise his dad smiled at him in relief, "I don't know how Lydia did it, but she convinced Sophie to tell the truth. She retracted her old statement and made a new one. You're not getting charged with anything son"

He sagged back against the wall, feeling like his legs wouldn't be able to hold him up anymore as he stared wide eyed at his dad, spluttering out a fumbling "really?" to which his dad nodded, cupping his shoulder.

"Really"

He exhaled loudly, scrubbing a hand down his face, "thank god"

"Maybe it's for the best you don't see her again-"

"Oh trust me" Stiles interrupted with a scoff, "I won't. I'll stay clear"

His dad dropped his head into a subtle nod, his eyes shifting to the hospital room, "what's happening with Kayla?"

"She got discharged. I'm going to take her home, look after her, try and… and…" he didn't know, fix her? He didn't even know where to begin, "… try and help her I guess"

"If anyone can, it's you" his dad reassured gently.

"I don't know…" he mumbled, "she's getting worse, reacting to voices and the things she's seeing… what if I can't help her?"

"Time will tell" his dad said sadly, just as the hospital room door opened and Melissa appeared, gently coaxing a drowsy Kayla out by a calming hand on the small of her back and Stiles immediately stiffened, watching her carefully as she tottered out in tight jeans and a baggy jumper, looking so small and frail he just wanted to wrap her up in his arms and shield her from the cruel world and every bad thing in it.

But before he could get a single word out, Malia stormed out of the room as well, holding her right eye, "she punched me. She actually punched me"

"You had demon eyes… your eyes were _black"_

"They are now" Malia huffed, the one eye Stiles could see rolled and he frowned in concern at his girlfriend… well, he _guessed_ she was his girlfriend, he didn't know, they hadn't really had that talk and probably wouldn't for a long while yet.

"Kaylz…" he opened with gently, "remember, it's just your mind playing tricks on you"

She swallowed thickly, wrapping her arms around her torso and playing with the frayed ends of the cuffs, "n-no… _no_ " she stated, "she's _possessed_ " she threw an arm out, pointing shakily at Malia, "she's possessed by those _demons_ – they're everywhere. They're all around, you just can't see them but I can" she nodded quickly, "I can _see_ them"

"Okay, okay" he rushed out, reaching out to stroke her arms, "I believe you just uh…" he cast a nervous look over his shoulder, not wanting anyone to hear her mad ramblings, "why don't we talk about this at home?"

She frowned, a vague expression twisting her features, "I don't have a home…"

That statement completely crushed his heart but he tried to not let it show, slowly shaking his head at her, "Yes Kaylz, you do, with me remember?"

The crease between her brows deepened, her wild eyes trailing over him and he saw the moment she pinpointed him as someone – or _something_ \- else, watching paralysing fear and terror cloud over her eyes as she fell back a step, her bottom lip beginning to shake.

"No… no get away from me, _get away from me"_ she screeched, dissolving into fits of tears, "you're not Stiles, you're not _him"_

He stepped back indistinctively, throwing his hands up and looking around desperately, hoping the noise didn't grab anyone's attention but knew immediately exactly who she thought he was. The nogitsune. It was as clear as day and was something they wold both have to live with. Stiles, wearing the face of the thing that tortured her for centuries, and Kayla, always remembering those terrible things every time she looked at him.

"Honey, calm down, it's okay" Melissa soothed, pulling her sideways into her chest to give her a comforting hug, "it's alright… that's Stiles, I promise. He's here to help you, he won't hurt you"

She kept sobbing and Stiles felt his dad's worried gaze moving between him and Kayla, totally at a loss at what to do and Stiles felt the same, feeling useless as he stood there watching Melissa soothe Kayla, coaxing her back to some sense of reality and normality.

"I know you're confused sweetheart, and I know the things you're seeing and the things you're hearing must be so scary, but we all want to help you" Melissa comforted, "and we will, alright? You just need to try and trust us"

"B-But… but he… he looks like him" Kayla whispered brokenly, and Stiles cast his eyes downward in guilt, his stomach churning with disgust, "he l-looks like the thing that h-hurt me"

Melissa teared up, still holding Kayla as she peered over to Stiles, watching his face crumble and knew the next words out of her mouth would completely tear him up, especially because she knew how badly he wanted to look after her.

"I think we should call Derek" she said quietly, "maybe… maybe he would be able to look after her"

Stiles was too heartbroken to even try and argue, keeping his head dipped as he stepped to the side and hit Derek's name on his phone, waiting anxiously as it rang but it didn't take long for him to answer, greeting him with a gruff grunt.

"Hey Derek… look uh… I know you might be busy but… Kayla needs you right now" the words cut through him like a knife because it should be _him_ Kayla needed, it had always been him, but pushed those thoughts to the side because he had to think of Kayla's best interests right now and he was not what was best for her right now, not if she looked at him and saw the nogitsune.

He heard the sharp intake of breath, followed by a sharp "where?" to which he explained the hospital and before he could go into any detail, the line went dead and he resisted rolling his eyes at the older man's rudeness.

"Yeah um… he's on his way" he said softly but as soon as she heard his voice, Kayla whipped her head to the side and stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights, her eyes wide and alarmed.

"No, no, no, no I don't want to see him… I don't want that _thing_ here, he'll hurt me, he'll-"

"No, shhhh, I meant Derek. Derek is coming" Stiles reassured, "and he's coming here to help you"

She clung to Melissa, her nails sinking into her skin, "D-Derek?"

He nodded, feeling a pang course through him as she sighed in relief, letting her head fall in exhaustion, "… Derek… yes…" she murmured, "I miss Derek"

He was trying so desperately hard not to cry, feeing like she was slowly slipping through his fingers as Melissa guided her carefully down the hall a little, helping her into a plastic seat to try and keep her calm and Stiles hated himself for the distress he inadvertently caused her, watching her sadly as she lost herself.

"It's not your fault" His dad reassured, "her mind is just… breaking" he said delicately, "don't blame yourself"

He scoffed under his breath, "how can't I blame myself?" he asked rhetorically, "she's only like this because of me, everyone knows it. Her included. And who knows, maybe she's scared of me, not because I look like the nogitsune, but because I'm just me – anyone consider that?"

"Stop it" his dad chastised, "stop thinking like that"

" _Look at her"_ he exclaimed, "Seriously, _look_ at her. She's losing her god damn mind and it's my fault"

" **Enough** " Malia cut in, sending him an annoyed look, "get a grip Stiles and shut up" she said bluntly, "you love her and want to help her? Then pull yourself together"

He frowned at the werecoyote, debating whether it was worth even trying to argue with her.

"Let's just focus on now, alright?" his dad said, "Derek will be here soon and we'll take it from there. One step at a time"

* * *

She was so scared, terrified really. Paralysed with terror as it coursed through her body. She couldn't think, couldn't process. Didn't know what was right or what was wrong. Dark shadows invaded her vision, the faces of all those she killed and hurt swarming to the forefront of her mind. Furious, disgusted voices whispering in her brain despicable things. Telling her she was vile. Saying she was going to rot in hell. Shouting that, if she didn't do what they told her to do, they would punish the few people she cared about. It was like an infectious disease spreading through her brain at an alarming rate, and the moments of clarity were becoming far too few and in-between.

It wasn't pleasant, feeling yourself spiral. It was anxious and all consuming, sending her brain into meltdown.

Oh god… all the things that had happened to her. All the pain. All the confusion. All the grief. All the things she had done… all those lives… all those _innocent people…_

She recognised Derek leading her to the loft, scraping open the elevator door and peering back at her, reaching out to take her hand but she shook him off, shakily stepping forward on her own and into the loft, shivering against the chill in the air.

"W-Why am I here?" she asked in confusion, "This… this place is _tainted_ " she glanced towards the, now, non-existent crack in the cement floor, the one she raised the nogitsune from, "so much… so much evil…"

"You're safe" Derek soothed and unlike his normal hard exterior, he was soft and gentle as he placed his hand on her back, his touch faint but comforting all the same, "I won't let anything happen to you"

She sniffed loudly, resisting breaking down into tears again, "my head-my head doesn't feel right" she stuttered, "and it h-hurts s-so much… here" she held a hand to her chest, nearly crying out in pain as a wave of sharp aches pulsated from the centre of her chest to every inch of her body, "it _h-hurts_ Derry…"

Derek melted on the spot at that nickname he hadn't heard in months, maybe even a year, his strong grip sliding around her body to pull her into a hug.

"It's emotion Kay… it's overwhelming you"

"A-And I can't make the voices go away" she admitted, dissolving into fresh tears, pressing her tear stained face into his broad warn chest, "they're so _loud_ …"

"Shhh… shhhhh" he whispered, "take a breath Kay, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere"

His words comforted her, easing her fear a little as he picked her up so gently she hardly felt it, taking careful strides towards his bed so he could place her in it, hovering over her as he swiped her messy hair away from her damp face.

"N-No, don't go. Don't go, please" she begged, "p-please… I can't… I was a-alone for so long… so long Derry… and I didn't have anyone" she sobbed, totally breaking his heart into a million pieces, "it was cold, s-so cold and dark and-and scary… I missed you a-all so m-much" she screwed her eyes shut, getting stuck in the painful memories as Derek tried to hush her, climbing into the bed next to her, "I th-thought about you a-all the time"

It was the first time he felt actual hot tears press themselves forward since the day of her makeshift funeral, pulling her onto his chest and holding onto his little cousin for dear life.

"And I thought about you all the time too" he whispered, kissing the top of her head, "just try and relax Kay…" he soothed, acting more like a loving father than anything else, shushing her cries and rocking her slowly, easing her distress as he hummed a soothing lullaby, "Derry is right here…"

 **A/N) DECEASED. DEAD. FOREVER GONE. Okay so this storyline is obviously dark lol, it's the beginning of Kayla battling with her sanity which has to happen, like, cmon, years in hell and guilt from being a psychotic murderer? That screams serious PTSD ha, but anyways im so getting back into this so please please review for inspiration I really need it lol and I love hearing from yall so hope you liked and please review and if plenty of people do the next update will be QUICK haha bye x**


	62. Chapter 62 - Don't stop running

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any way, shape or form (sad face) ANYWAYS another chapter WOO HOO see guys, I am trying lol so I hope you all enjoy** **thank you to Ashleymc25, MaddieMiran, linda96 and xJenzaFreakx, please keep them reviews coming I love them lol.**

They had a plan.

They had a plan to catch the benefactor.

That plan failed.

Scott put his life on the line, by 'dying', all for nothing.

Stiles was getting used to these constant hits and blows, but it didn't make it any easier. It felt like they – _he_ – was constantly receiving knock out hits, one after another, and he didn't know how much longer they could withstand it.

"Derek, please-" he begged, sighing in exhaustion, "-I need to see her"

Here he was just an hour after their plan failed, begging with Derek to let him into the loft to see Kayla. To see if she was alright. To try anything he could do to help.

"It's really not a good idea-"

"Please? _Please?"_ he was desperate, that much was obvious, "I just want to help. I _need_ to help"

Derek's gaze dipped for a moment, a worried frown creasing between his brows, "I'm thinking of you Stiles. You don't want to see her like this"

"I'm one of the reasons she's _like_ this" he explained sadly, "I can't just stand back and do nothing. Not with Kayla. Not her" he shook his head softly, scrubbing a tired hand down his weary face, "I never stopped loving her when she was dead and I'm not going to stop now"

Derek sighed, a slight nod bobbing his head as he side-stepped so Stiles could escape the elevator, stumbling into the loft and looking around frantically but he couldn't see her.

"Wh-where is she?"

"Next room" Derek replied, inclining his head to the side and stalking forward, leaving Stiles to scramble after him clumsily and nervously as he watched Derek scrape back another metal door but the older man pushed a hand against his chest to stop him before he could rush through.

"Prepare yourself" he warned and Stiles gulped, his vision blurring as he peered across at Derek's worried face, "she's… she's broken Stiles. And what you'll see… it will break you too"

He knew it would. Just imagining Kayla battling for her sanity, trying to understand what torment she was going through was enough to make his heart physically ache, but he had to see. He had to help. He had to try. He didn't want to fail her again.

He stayed silent, biting back his hurt and worry as he slowly stepped over the threshold, his gaze wandering the room and automatically widening as he saw hundreds – no, _thousands_ – of random, incoherent scrawls on the concrete wall from white chalk, all the way from the bottom to as high up as an average sized person could reach, most over lapping one another. Symbols, words and drawings cluttering the walls, scribbled chaotically.

"Oh god…" he mumbled, his chest deflating as the realisation of just how bad this was finally seeping into his veins as he spotted Kayla kneeling next to the far off wall, her back to him as she frantically scraped the chalk back and forth across the wall and, even from here, he could see the quick rise and fall of her shoulders from her panicked gasps.

"She's hardly slept" Derek appeared next to him, nodding in thanks at Braedon who had been watching over Kayla and letting her leave, crossing his arms over his chest as he frowned at his cousin in worry, "just fully intent on drawing… nonsense"

"To us it may be nonsense, but to her she's communicating something" Stiles muttered, tearing his eyes away from Kayla as he stared at the walls again, his gaze sweeping across the details, "I just… I don't know what"

"I can't get her to eat, she barely sips at the water I give her and the last time I had a semi coherent conversation with her was when I first brought her home. Two days ago" Derek admitted, sounding way over his head, "which is why I… I…."

Stiles tore his gaze away from the empty, barren room to focus on the older man, a suspicious frown tugging his brows, "why you… what?"

"I know a man" he said delicately, feeling scrutinised by Stiles' warning stare on him, "an old… _old_ family friend. He's a psychiatrist over in Colorado-"

" _No_ " Stiles immediately exclaimed, the promise he made to Kayla about not letting her go back to a psychiatric facility, Eichen house to be more precise, racing through his head, "no way. _No_. You cant just lock her up-"

"I'm not" Derek stated in a stone cold offended voice, "I would never do that to her. But we need help and he can give it. He knows about the supernatural, in fact he specialises in it. He can help us, help her-" he nodded his head towards his cousin, "-because god knows we can't"

That hurt. That hurt a lot. He had always helped Kayla in the past, always tried, but this problem, what she was going through, what was happening to her, he couldn't help her. Not like he wanted to so desperately.

"Derek I… I promised Kayla, when I was convincing her to let all these emotions back in, that she wouldn't go back to Eichen house no matter what happened. I swore to her that wouldn't happen"

"And it won't" Derek vowed, "he's just going to be here to assess and give his opinion, that's all"

Stiles calmed down a little, nodding in acceptance as he turned back to Kayla, watching her still etching drawings and symbols onto the wall. He hoped this time she saw him she wouldn't freak out like last time. That she didn't see him and see the nogitsune instead so started off slow, creeping towards her as his stare soaked up all the drawings on the walls, trying to decrypt their meaning but he was coming up blank. It just seemed like random lines and squiggles, at least to him.

"Uh… K-Kayla?" he said softly, kneeling next to her but kept a couple of feet between them for her own sense of security, his gaze never leaving her fragile and shaking being, "it's um, it's me, it's Stiles"

Her hand paused, the tip of the chalk stilling against the concrete wall and he watched her carefully, observed how she seemed to stiffen at his words.

"If-If you want me to go, I will" he mumbled, "but I want to help you Kaylz… will you let me help you?"

She swallowed thickly, greasy strands of hair curtaining her face as she nervously twisted her head and peered over to him, those green eyes he loved so much now full of frantic unease and chaos.

"You shouldn't be here" she whispered, her voice weak but serious, "they'll hurt you"

"Who will?" he asked quietly, desperate to understand what was going through her mind, "who will hurt me Kaylz?"

She swallowed thickly, her nervous gaze dropping to the floor as she clenched the stick of chalk tightly in her hand, squeezing it intermittently as her body trembled, her eyes glazing over like she was disconnecting from reality.

"Kayla…" he repeated softly, "who will hurt me?"

She snapped herself from her daze, wild and panicked stare refocusing back on him, "they will"

The chalk fell from her hand, rolling towards him as she lifted her finger to point over his shoulder and he twisted his head around, seeing nothing but an empty room and a chalk covered wall behind him.

He sighed sadly, refocusing back on Kayla but decided to roll with it, to try ad better understand who – or what – she was seeing.

"Who are they?"

"My sins" she replied, her breathing turning erratic yet again as she scrambled forward for the chalk, grabbing it like some sort of lifeline and turned back to the wall, pressing herself forward as she desperately and quickly started drawing again, etching some sort of horned figure on the wall as her body jerked and spasmed sporadically, like she was flinching mosquitos off her.

"Kayla… Kaylz… Kay…" he was trying to draw her attention back to him, to get her to refocus on the reality but she craned her neck sideways, covering her ear with her free hand as she frantically scribbled some more in panic before falling back, cowering away from her drawing in fear.

He wanted to hold her, console her, ease her very obvious terror but didn't impose, his eyes widening as he noticed her drawing… long face, wide eyes and large horns protruding from the top of the figures head and surrounding the drawing was flames… wild uncontrollable flames.

She thought she was getting tormented by the devil.

"It won't go away" she sobbed, "it won't stop. _It won't stop"_ she screamed, leaning forwards to grab fistfuls of her hair and pull, rocking back and forth, "I can't get it to _stop"_

He went to hold her, to soothe her cries but before he could Derek appeared, pushing between the two of them and grabbed the chalk, forcing it into Kayla's hands.

"Here Kay, take it. Here you go" Derek rushed out, "it's alright, go back to your drawing"

Her cries soon diminished into heavy gasps and breathing, uncoiling herself as she held the chalk tightly in her hand, pressing herself against the wall to continue with her scribbles as Derek grabbed his arm and hauled him to his feet, pulling him from the room.

"Now do you see why we need help?" he asked Stiles, "Braedon, can you keep an eye on her while I talk to Stiles?"

"Of course" she pulled herself up off the sofa, brushing past them to the other room as Derek guided him towards the sofa, forcing him to sit.

"This can't be happening right now…" he was still in shock, scrubbing a wary hand down his face, "not when I just got her back…"

"I wish it wasn't but it is" Derek replied as calmly as he could, "we are out of our depth. If we try to help we could make things worse. We could make her worse"

Stiles inclined his head into a nod, accepting – finally – that outside help was the only thing that could save her life.

"When's this guy coming?"

"Tomorrow at noon. Hopefully then we'll get answers"

* * *

They all waited anxiously at the loft with baited breaths and wringing their hands – Derek, Stiles, Scott Lydia and Dylan, desperate for some sort of answer that could fix this problem.

For something that could fix Kayla.

Doctor Noble was very pleasant when he had arrived. Well dressed but not stuck up. Greying hair slicked back. Glasses hovering on the tip of his nose. Couldn't have been older than early fifties. He had introduced himself, shook hands with them all and spoke to Derek about how nice it was to see him again after all these years, he just wished it was under better circumstances.

He had instructed them all to wait outside the room and not to worry, that he could be in there for a long while as he tried to understand what was happening to her.

Well it had already been nearly two and a half and Stiles felt like he was losing his god damn mind. He had been unable to sit still so resorted to pacing the length of the loft several hundred times but then his legs got jittery anxious so he sat down again, only to annoy everyone with his foot tapping so started pacing again but apparently that annoyed Derek just as much as the foot tapping because he pulled him down next to him and instructed him to sit still and be quiet.

"It's been ages" Stiles argued impatiently, "what if something's wrong?"

"Darren-" otherwise known as Dr Noble, "-is very thorough. He needs time so we're going to give him time"

Stiles acknowledged that but it didn't quell the nerves assaulting his body, wringing his hands nervously as he tapped his foot but didn't stop even when Derek glared at him, not until the door to the next room over open and he jumped up, watching Dr Noble exit quietly with a bundle of notes in his arms.

"So?" Stiles prodded, "what's the verdict? What's wrong with her?"

"Sit down Mr Stilinski" the doc instructed gently, walking towards them and taking a seat opposite them to face them as he shuffled through his notes before peering over the top of his glasses at their eager and worried faces.

"I assessed her as best I could but throughout the course of the assessment there was varying levels of awareness and cognition and fluctuating signs of capacity. And having spent the last three hours with her, I am certain there is definitely a supernatural element at play here"

"But-"

"Let me explain" he cut Stiles off, shuffling through his notes again to reread what he had jotted down, "I do not believe what is causing her deterioration in mental health is absolutely due to something of the supernatural nature, but partially. On the other hand, being aware of what she went through when she was deceased and since returning, I do believe it is a combination of the two. Supernatural and mental health"

Dylan leaned forward, listening to the doctor intently, "and what exactly does that mean?"

"Having done a lot of research into the supernatural world over the last thirty years, I do believe that some of the visual and auditory hallucinations are not actually hallucinations at all. I think that coming back from the dead has caused some unusual consequences. People aren't supposed to cross back over to the living world. It defies the laws of physics. The laws of nature. It disrupts the fine line between worlds so by coming back in the way she did, my understanding is she still has a connection, a link, to the other side. Like… one foot in the land of the living, and one foot in the land of the dead. And dead people, dead things, can be bitter and vengeful. They don't like other people getting a second chance at life or like people leaving. Which is why I believe some of her hallucinations may actually be real, we just can't see them because we don't have that link to the other side. Not like she does"

"I… I do" Lydia piped up, "I'm a banshee, death is… my forte" she explained hesitantly, "and I can't see anything that she's seeing"

"That's because you're supposed to have that link" the doctor explained, "banshees are naturally tuned in to the other side. Someone other than a banshee isn't. And the dead are punishing her for that. However-"

Stiles' head was spinning, getting lost in the jumble of words that was causing him so much fucking heart break.

"-there is clear precipitating and perpetuating factors that lead me to believe the supernatural element only accounts to a fraction of what is happening to her. The amount of trauma she sustained is… unimaginable. Add that to the stress and anxiety of adjusting back to human life and the crippling guilt of the things she's done since being back, it leads to a very complicated presentation to diagnose"

"But if you had to diagnose… what would it be?" Derek asked with baited breath, his usual calm pale green eyes swimming with anxiety.

"If I wasn't aware of the supernatural world, I would be inclined to persist with the suspected diagnosis of schizophrenia"

It was like all the air got sucked out of the room all at once, leaving everyone winded and breathless.

"However-" the doctor continued, "-I don't believe it's that. There's elements of post-traumatic stress disorder, of mood disorders, of depression and anxiety and full blown psychosis. Her insight is limited, there's evidence of cognition difficulties and illogical thought processes. She's actively responding to both external and internal stimuli and she's experiencing paranoid and now somatic delusions. I had to restrain her from scratching her arms raw because she believed there was insects crawling inside her. When I persisted with this, it was obvious she's feeling what she did when she was deceased. Feeling your body slowly heal itself and crawling from your own grave is traumatic and is a source of parts of her delusions and psychosis. I'm also curious about her neurological functioning. I would like to pin point if there are any deficits or abnormalities but at this moment in time I feel that wouldn't be appropriate. She'd have to be more stable before any further examinations or tests could be done"

"So… what you're saying is… you have no idea what's going on with her?"

Doctor Noble peered across at Stiles, taking off his glasses and pully a handkerchief from his top pocket to clean his glasses as he sighed, "psychiatry isn't ever certain Mr Stilinski. It's changeable and always up for interpretation. The brain is also very complicated. But everything I have told you is accurate to the best of my knowledge and my interpretation. I can't assign her a diagnosis because she doesn't fall into a specific category. She's experiencing a wide range of symptoms from a vast list of mental disorders and mental distress. But if I had to… I would diagnosis her as psychotic… because there's very little sense of reality left in her"

Tears clogged his vision, hearing his blood pump wildly around his body as he stood up, stalking towards the window to peer out so nobody could watch him break.

"But you also mentioned about the supernatural factor… how part of what she is experiencing is actually real, just not from this world or reality" Scott persisted, "could we fix that?"

"I know facts and information from research" Doctor Noble replied, "and because this is highly unusual, there isn't much about it. Hence why I'm not aware of anything that could alleviate it. But I'm sure there's a way, and maybe the answer falls with you"

Stiles had his back turned so he couldn't see who he was referring to until Lydia spoke up nervously.

"Me? How?"

"You're a banshee, the harbinger of death, correct? The link you have with the dead could be used to help her. How, I'm not sure. My recognised speciality is in mental health, not the supernatural"

"So what do we do?" Derek asked, "how do we fix her?"

"I would normally push for an admission to a psychiatric hospital-"

"No" Stiles stated, turning around quickly to shake his head, "no way"

"I thought that may be the consensus" Doctor Noble shrugged, "and I understand your unwillingness and unease, especially with the facility you have here, but it's not like that anymore. We don't use barbaric ways of treating patients. We spend time with them, we medicate them, we use therapies. Patients aren't treated like animals, we value them. And my facility is one of the best in the country. Kayla would get the best treatment available"

"I said _no_ " Stiles said harshly, "I made a promise and I'm not going to break it. If she gets admitted and, for whatever reason, this _'best treatment'_ doesn't help her, she won't be let out. And what kind of life is that?"

Doctor Noble smiled sympathetically, "what kind of life is this now?"

Stiles faltered, recoiling as he realised and remembered just how bad Kayla was, how bad her mental ill health was escalating.

"But I'm not here to intrude" the doctor raised his hands as a way of surrender, "I came here as a favour to a family friend. I have no power here. If you want I could prescribe an antipsychotic for the time being, it may take the edge off"

Derek sighed, "she won't take it anyway"

"It's better to have it than not, just in case" the doctor opened his leather case, riffling through the packets and containers of medication before finding what he was looking for, handing it to Derek.

"Risperidone. It should help with the hallucinations and delusions"

Derek thanked him, shaking his hand as he showed him out but the doctor paused, pulling a business card from his pocket and handing it to him.

"Just in case" he said, "if things get too much then you call me straight away and I guarantee a bed will be made available within the hour"

Derek really hoped he wouldn't need it but accepted it all the same, nodding to Darren as he left.

"You can't use that" Stiles stated, "don't you _dare_ use that card"

"I don't want to" Derek said through gritted teeth, "but if she keeps getting worse and we can't help her, then yes, I will phone. Why? To save her life"

"I made a promise-"

" _So did I"_ Derek exclaimed through it came out as more of a growl, "after the fire when our _entire_ family burned alive, I promised I would always protect her. That I would look after her and locking her up in here as she goes mad is not protecting _or_ looking after her"

"Okay, both of you calm down" Lydia stepped between the two, trying to diffuse the situation, "why don't we all work together to try and stop the supernatural element of her… psychosis" she said carefully, biting her lip as she felt her stomach drop in guilt and worry.

"I agree" Dylan nodded, trying to remain as calm as possible, "let's focus on fixing something we know can be fixed"

"Where do we even start?" Scott mumbled, shaking his head in thought, "Deaton?"

Derek nodded, "he might know something and if he doesn't then he has ways of finding out. Go do that"

Scott nodded, sending Stiles a supportive glance as he left the loft.

"Maybe… maybe I should go see her?" Lydia said softly, her voice shaking a little with nerves, "maybe if I try I could… force a premonition or something. Maybe feel something"

Stiles gulped, "only if you prepare yourself first" he warned, "seeing her like this… it will hurt. A lot. You have to be ready"

Lydia shared a nervous glance with Dylan who was standing next to her, "if it helps Kayla… then I'm ready"

Stiles watched her carefully and slowly move towards the room Kayla was in, the door slightly open but thought nothing of it as Lydia took a couple of shallow, slow breaths, mentally preparing herself for what she may find on the other side of the door. Not quite sure if she would break seeing her best friend in that state. But she mustered all her courage and resilience and scraped back the door, frowning through the hazy room as she stepped forward but it was apparent, almost immediately, there was no sight of Kayla.

Lydia gasped, falling back a step as she whirled around to face her friend, "she's not here. Kayla's not _here"_

* * *

They told her to run. To run to where no one could help her because she didn't deserve help. She didn't deserve help because she was a disgrace. An unworthy excuse for a human being. They urged her to escape through the slightly open door while the people that wanted to help her was preoccupied with arguing with one another.

She had no choice. The voices were so strong and commanding, so deafening she had to obey them. She had to try to escape the faces and the shadows and the hauntings. It was unbearable.

It was hell.

It was like being back there all over again. In fact, she thought she was. She felt like this place, this enclosed sense of dread, was hell.

So she ran. And she kept running. Running from the shadows that always seemed to follow her. Ran from the horrible, accusatory voices that shouted and screamed vile, inhumane things at her. Ran from the faces of all those she hurt and killed. Ran from her hell, straight into another one.

 **A/N) AHHHHH I always find that last sentence so eerie lol. and yesssss I love writing this, this is where I can actually use what I've learnt in my mental health nursing training yayyyyy. so I hope you all enjoyed and please please review they seriously help my motivation at the moment and encourage me to write which I'm getting back into :) so thank you and see you soon x**


	63. Chapter 63 - Admission

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any way, shape or form (sad face) ha. Anyways, thanks for those still supporting, reading and reviewing the story and I know my updates are kinda sporadic but I really need more encouragement, critique and reviews to even want to keep writing, it's very discouraging when hundreds of people read and I get little to no feedback. But thanks to those who did, you're the best, and I hope y'all enjoy this new chapter**

Stiles had been to hell and back (literally) too often in these past few months. His life was like a frigging yo-yo. The big man upstairs batting him around like an insect. He had been depressed, suicidal, felt like he was losing his god damn mind, but what he was feeling now had to be the worst. He was frantic and chaotic and worried to the point he couldn't think straight.

He had lost Kayla too many times. Not again. Not again. _Not again._ This time was supposed to be different. _He_ was supposed to be different. He was supposed to look after her, be there, support her, do what he should've done that devastating night in the school and _saved_ her.

He kept failing her. He kept failing them. And this time was no different.

He had failed, yet again.

Hence why he had his foot on the gas, barrelling through town at high speed, Lydia next to him grabbing a hold of the door handle to steady herself. The werewolves trying to pick up a scent elsewhere.

"Stiles slow down, it's alright, we'll find her"

"What if we don't?" he said through clenched teeth, sweat beads forming along his hairline, "you didn't see her Lydia… she was… she was _lost_ "

"Kayla will be fine" she reassured, even though she sounded a little unsure herself, reaching forward to rub the back of his hand that was clenching the gear stick for dear life, "we'll make sure of it"

He nodded, still not believing her as he skidded into Beacon Hills preserve because, maybe it was a gut instinct, but Kayla always seemed to return to these woods. They had meaning to her. She spent countless weeks and months in the summer, playing and tousling with her cousins. She ran and worked out here for the peace and quiet. She was buried here… if she was anywhere, she was here. She had to be.

Lydia jumped down from the jeep, hurrying to keep up with Stiles as he took long strides towards the woods, his eyes jumping from side to side as his feet skidded across the uneven ground, hoping to catch a glimpse of that hazelnut hair or a flash of green eyes in the distance.

He needed her back safe and sound. He needed to look after her, nurture her back to health. He needed to live up to his promise…

His pace increased, his mind focused on one thing and one thing only, zoned into the task at hand until he felt Lydia's sharp nails curl around his forearm and haul him back and he would've snapped something at her for delaying him when he noticed her wide eyed panicked look, her full lips formed into a surprised 'O'.

His stomach sank, a daunting feeling rushing through his veins, "Lydia… _Lydia_ , what is it?"

"We're going the wrong way… we're going the _wrong way…"_

He tried not to think about _why_ Lydia got these feelings… how she was linked to death and everything surrounding that and crouched down slightly, his gaze boring a hole through her own.

"Lydia, what way is she?"

The redhead gulped, her eyes filling with devastated tears, "… where we buried her…"

He had this awful sense of dread rushing through his veins, that all-consuming pit of fire settling in his stomach as he shared an uneasy and terrified glance with Lydia, both beginning to rush in the opposite direction they were going, both knowing the route like the back of their hand.

How could they not? They both visited her grave more than anyone else. Stiles had slept there for countless nights. He went there when he was lost and grieving and looking for company… even if that company was dead.

Lydia was grabbing onto him, her nails digging into his shirt clad arm to keep them both together as Stiles led the way through the dark, rough terrain, his quick clumsy feet taking him there as fast as possible and even before they reached where the Hale house used to stand, they heard the distressed sobs which urged Stiles on even quicker.

He skidded into the sparse area of trees, stumbling into chaos.

Kayla, torn clothes and hair ragged, desperately digging at the ground where she had been buried with her bare hands, crying and muttering as she kneeled in amongst the dirt. Her face was smeared with mud, her fingernails blackened by how hard she was clawing at the ground and it completely tore him apart to see this, to watch her completely fall apart.

"K… Kayla…" he called out hesitantly, his mouth still hanging open slightly from the shock, "Kayla, what are you doi-"

She let out a loud scream, her fingers curling violently around the dirt as she peered up them manically, crystal tears dripping off her jaw, "g-go back… go b-back… want-g-go ba-back"

It didn't register straight away what she meant, his brows furrowing in confusion until his gaze steadied on her clutching the dirt in the shallow, make shift hole she was clawing at and it all made heart breaking sense.

She wanted to go back to being dead. She didn't know how to cope with all these emotions smothering her, so returned to her grave to recreate her death. It was absolutely soul crushing.

Lydia understood too what she meant, her green eyes welling with tears as she slowly loosened her grasp from around Stiles' arm, "Kayla, honey, you don't want that" she whispered, "you're here and alive, we got you back"

"N-No" she sobbed, "N-No… want g-g-go ba-back"

"Why Kaylz?" he asked gently, trying to have at least a semi decent coherent conversation with her despite her hauntingly broken cries to try and understand what was going on inside her muddled up brain, "why do you want to go back?"

She was still clutching at handfuls of dirt, holding onto the millions of grains for dear life as she peered up at them slowly inching towards her and gulped, torment flashing through her eyes.

"… D-Deserve to" she whispered, her shoulders sagging forward in complete and utter defeat as her haunted gaze slipped down to the ground, her weak frail body curling in on itself like a frightened animal.

"You don't deserve this. Not then, not now" Stiles promised, slowly dropping to his knees opposite her and trying not to be hurt by the way she flinched, "and I know things must be so scary, so… terrifying, but if you let us – _me_ – help you, I promise things will get better"

She shook her head, not looking him in the eye as she twitched sporadically and he watched her zone out from reality, not sure what she could be experiencing right now but knew it wasn't good.

"Kaylz, please…" he begged, "let me help you…"

Her lips, chapped and bleeding, twisted in on themselves, her mudded fingers grasping at one another in desperation as she scurried back a little bit, scrambling from the shallow, sloppily dug hole and pressed herself back against the tree that had served as her gravestone, her limbs shaking in terror.

"Th-They want m-me to g-g-go" she wailed, "th-they'll stop i-if I go"

He knew 'they' meant whatever voices or whatever cruel things she was seeing, her broken mind and her connection to the other side sending her to the complete opposite side of sane. It was more than heart-breaking. It was devastating.

"Kayla… they're lying to you" he said gently, wincing a little as she shook her head wildly, trying not to say anything to scare her away, "I promise you, they're lying"

"Stiles is right Kay" Lydia said desperately, stepping forward but Kayla just continued to shake her head, trying to block out their voices, "don't listen to them, _please_ , don't listen to them"

"S-Shhhhhhhhh" Kayla exclaimed frantically, "s-shut up j-just sh-shut _u-u-up"_

Stiles wasn't sure who she was talking to, him and Lydia or the things they couldn't see and maybe Kayla didn't know either, her hands covering her ears, her body shaking as she stood slowly, like a deer caught in the headlights and Stiles knew she was about ready to bolt.

So he did the only thing he thought he could do and leapt forward, quickly grabbing her arm just as she was about to flee and tried to hold her still but what he didn't expect was for her to suddenly start screaming at the top of her lungs, her screeching momentarily deafening him and sending Lydia to her knees. The banshee tuning into whatever frequency of pain and grief Kayla was in.

His shock made his grip loosen around her and before he could register what had happened, Kayla had escaped his grasp and took off, scrambling through the woods in panic, crying, wailing out in pain and he quickly helped Lydia to her feet before chasing after her. She was quick though, despite her weakness and bare feet but her panic and fear drove her onwards, tripping and crashing through the woods at high speed, running without awareness.

He tried to shout after her, to calm her down as he ran but it did no use, his voice was one of many she was hearing and he wasn't getting through to her. In fact, he wasn't even sure how to _get_ through to her. Maybe, just maybe, he had lost her for good.

However, she skidded to a stop before tumbling head first off the edge of a rocky hill leading down the lake and it was now Stiles realised they weren't too far from Lydia's lake house – it was further up, maybe a couple miles deeper into the woods.

"Kayla…" he said slowly, his breathing heavy and raspy as Lydia clung to his arm, both internally panicking as they watched Kayla hover at the edge, her bare feet curling around the mud and stones beginning to break away from the edge, "it's okay just uh… step away from the edge alright?"

She twitched, her neck curling to the side as she squeezed her eyes shut, overwhelmed by the whisperings, the derogatory murmurings coming from all around her. The shadows continuously creeping around her, making the hair on the back of her neck stand alert and erect.

"Kay, come back to us" Lydia held out her hand, "let us help"

But it was too much. She couldn't register anything, couldn't process what was happening. She was confused, scared and alone, trapped in her broken mind and she just needed an escape. Those two people in front of her were distracting and intimidating and the voices didn't like them. They were mad at her for being with them and she couldn't deal with the terror. It was too much.

Everything was too much.

She stepped back, falling and twisting through the air until she hit the icy water of the lake, the cold darkness enveloping her in its tight, unforgiving grasp.

* * *

Stiles searched for hours, their friends too. There was no sign of her. His only reassurance was she wasn't lying dead at the bottom of the lake. How did he know? Scott, searching underwater with his keen werewolf senses. Although worried for her, hating thinking about her out there alone, it was much better than dead.

"We'll find her" Scott promised, slapping his shoulder in reassurance, "and she'll get the help she needs"

Stiles really damn well hoped so, because he made a promise and he wasn't ready to break it so soon.

* * *

She was running. Running where, she didn't know. All she knew was she had to run. She had to run as far away as possible. Try to outrun the voices, the terrible guilt eating her alive from the inside out. Run from everyone she once hurt. Run to get the punishment she deserved.

Her bare feet were cut and bruised from the stones and twigs on the forest floor, leaving traces of blood in her wake as she cried out, her clothes still damp and cold to the touch, clasping her hands over her ears, trying to drown out the deafening voices but they were loud and sharp and cut right through her.

She couldn't bare it.

 _She couldn't bare it._

She didn't realise when her bruised and battered feet came into contact with cool stone instead of the forest, was not aware of her surroundings as her mind collapsed. Tripping and sliding up the stone steps, falling so her knees scraped and she fell through the front entrance, tearing her hair from her roots as she did so.

She couldn't make the voices stop.

She couldn't stop the pain.

All her emotions that she repressed were back, drowning her, flooding her mind with agony. Everything she did, oh god... All those _people_.

She was suddenly wailing, trying anything to stop whatever this was, the crushing pounding inside her skull from all those persistent, angry voices. Some she recognised, others she didn't. All those she killed, all those that wanted her back. They were haunting her, combined with the rush of regret and guilt was not a good combination, her fragile mind too weak to withstand the torment.

Then she was sobbing, wishing things were different, wishing she wasn't such a terrible person.

 _She_ did this, _**she**_ did, and it was _all_ her fault.

More tears flooded from her eyes, drowning her as she turned around in a circle, screwing her eyes shut to try she stop herself from losing it - to stop herself from falling apart but it was too late, she couldn't think, couldn't rationalise, her mind far past broken.

She sensed people surrounding her, whether friend or foe she didn't care, she didn't have the capacity to, too broken to do anything but scream.

"M-Make them stop, make them stop, _MAKE THEM STOP"_ she wailed, pulling down more hair from the roots so under her fingernails turned dark with blood, "make them stop, make them stop, make them stop, _make them stop, stop it, stop it, stop it-"_

The voices were agonising, forcing her to look and remember everything she had done - it was too much, too much all at once.

She was already broken, this was just a step too far.

The others should've let her die that night, that night she absorbed all that power and it almost killed her and it would've, it should've, but Stiles had saved her. He should've let her die - _anything_ was better than this.

Brunski grinned, nodding at the other orderlies to grab her and hold her still, smirking as she screamed and writhed and wailed in agony, her eyes flitting from side to side as she saw things, heard things that others didn't. How she came stumbling to Eichen house wasn't Brunski's concern, all he cared about was keeping her here.

"There there Miss Hale" Brunski cooed coolly, "don't fight it, I always told you you would end up back here, didn't I?" He asked, prepping the sedation in the injection, "and you, my dear, well-" he grabbed her arm tightly, shoving the needle in so roughly she cried out, "-you were always one of my _favourites_ "

She knew that voice, she recognised it from the darkest parts of her past and it made her stomach curl in fear and disgust but there was nothing she could do. She felt sleepy and tired, her vision blurring but her mind remained fast and on fire, the hushed derogatory whispers getting louder and louder until it felt like her head was splitting open. The agony was surreal and hot, like she was in hell all over again.

She was in her very own personal hell.

"Don't worry" that familiar voice mockingly hushed her, "when you wake up, you'll be settled in. I'm sure your old room is still free…"

And that was the last thing she heard before she succumbed to the darkness.

* * *

"… Lazy, irresponsible, waste of _breath"_

She was shaking before she even opened her eyes, terrified beyond belief at the feel of the restraints wrapped around her limbs, her chest tightening in panic. There was no escape, no way out. No way to cower away in fear as she heard those dreaded mumblings returning, shadows passing in front of her closed lids. Those cold, dead, husky murmurs getting louder with each second that passed.

"You were poison in my uterus the _moment_ you were conceived… the biggest mistake of all"

Her muscles clenched, her body indistinctively trying to curl into a ball to escape but the voice growled in anger and its presence hovered over her, making her eyes snap open in fear.

"I should've smothered you as a baby like I wanted to"

Burning hot tears rolled down her cheeks, terrified as she peered up onto her mom's scowling, half decayed face, skin peeling from her cheeks and empty eye sockets full of darkness focused solely on her.

"M-M-Mom-"

"Useless and pathetic. A _burden_ to  everyone" the disformed figure of her mom sneered, leaning down over her so Kayla could smell the rotting stink of death on her breath, "such a disappointment to everyone. No one wants you, look where you are" the figure smirked, cocking her head to the side and Kayla shakily followed her line of vision, her stomach sinking at the empty dark room, _"all alone"_

She couldn't think. Didn't know what was happening. She was consumed by grief and fear, mind in shambles. Losing herself to the void. Beginning to forget who or what she was meant to be doing.

"If I were you… I would have killed myself a long time ago" her mom mocked, "I would have done it and meant it because _look_ at you – someone a mother can't even love"

It hurt. Everything this sneering voice was saying hurt – even if it was true.

She struggled against the binds, bucking wildly in the bed and beginning to scream without realising she was screaming, the torment she was in was truly punishing.

A fist banged on the metal door, the loud thump making her jump as she tried to focus on her surroundings, to ground herself to reality and when she did the figure of her mom had disappeared, nowhere to be seen.

"Shut up in there" a gruff, stern voice hollered through the door, "unless you want pumped full of sedatives again?"

A whimper escaped her lips, her teeth beginning to chatter as she shook in terror, fearful noises tearing their way from her chest. Coldness was seeping into her very bones, a horrible eerie chill filling the room and she knew something bad was about to happen. She felt it right in the pit of her stomach.

One thing that hadn't yet gone – her gut instinct.

The silver light from the moon shining in through the barred window started to fade, as if the moon was slowly falling from the sky but when she craned her achy neck sideways, she noticed she could still see the moon and the brightness of it remained, but it was the window darkening. Or rather, something beginning to fill the space of the window.

She shuddered, struggling for breath as she tried to cower, to keep quiet, as if hiding was going to help protect her.

It wouldn't. It _didn't._

It was them. Those voices she was hearing. They were here, emerging, crossing over, making themselves seen as they began stalking forward towards her bed.

"The dead should stay dead, the dead should stay dead, the dead should stay dead-"

They were chanting, louder and louder, getting more forceful, more vicious. Their pace of words increasing, their tone getting angrier and angrier, more spiteful and cruel, drowning all other thoughts out.

She felt them, right by her bedside, hands beginning to reach out for her weak and useless body as all their voices flowed together as one.

"The dead should stay dead, the dead should stay dead, the dead should stay dead, the dead should stay dead-"

It was too much. It hurt. The agony. The torment. The guilt. She didn't feel right. She hadn't felt right since being back. Nothing was good, it was all bad, all very very bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad-

She screamed.

And she never _stopped_ screaming.

…

Not until they made her.

 **A/N) Long time coming huh? Anyways IM BACK I know im sorry this past like almost year has been weird and updates have been slow but I cant but apologise and I hope you'll all be happy to see me back lol, so please please leave your thoughts below I would super appreciate it, and it would really help. Thanks once again and see you soon xoxo**


	64. Chapter 64 - Sinister experiment

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any way, shape or form. YAY see? I'm back lol. Thank you so much for reviewing the last chapter – C, Yuki908, Ashleymcd25, Senjaninja, Peachy48, WickedlyMinx, Valerie and linda96. I very much appreciate it so hope you all enjoy this next update and please please review**

 **ALSO warning: this chapter is pretty dark, bordering on torture, but its relatively short, just here as a linking chapter**

Brunski kept her locked up downstairs, in amongst the other unnatural things that invaded this planet. At least down there she couldn't get out. Not that she could anyway, what with the condition she was in.

Poor little thing was nothing. Broken. A shadow of her former self. Even when she was here when she was ten, she had more life in her than now. At present, all she did was scream and cry. When she wasn't doing that, she was moaning to herself, staring blankly at things that no one else could see. It was an interesting case, and he was more than fascinated by it.

He dragged his feet down the cement steps, sneering at those awful creatures locked away. _Disgusting_ things. His hand curled around his baton hanging from his waistband, his whole body twisting, urging to use it on them but he refrained, continuing to make his way down the bleak hallway until he reached the metal door.

He smirked, peering into the forlorn room. Dark and cold, the tiled walls reflecting the eerie moonlight. He didn't hear much, which meant it was one of her quiet nights. Maybe it was all the sedatives they pumped into her, the maximum limit and then some. They didn't usually have much effect on her. But he didn't care why she was quiet, he just cared that she was.

He unlocked her door, making a point of leaving it ajar just to taunt her, if she was even capable of understanding what a taunt was in her current state. He wasn't sure. Her mind was so much worse than when she stumbled here six days ago and it was oh so fascinating to watch. He was intrigued. It was like nothing he had ever seen before. He had worked at Eichen house since leaving high school, worked with both the supernaturally induced psychosis and the normal, run of the mill human mental issues. He had seen everything.

Well, everything apart from this.

Fascinated was the wrong word to use.

 _Intrigued_ was more like it.

"Feeling better?" he asked with a smirk, kneeling next to her bed and admiring the five-point restraint holding her down, making her even more completely useless.

She didn't reply, just stared blankly at the ceiling with fresh tears welling her eyes, occasionally twitching. God knows what she was seeing or hearing, maybe even by the way she flinched, feeling, but it was enthralling. The perfect case study.

"Ever since I first saw you at such a tender age… I knew you would give me exactly what I want" he sighed, reaching out to stroke her loose hair back from her forehead, admiring how she tried to cower away from him but to no avail, "the perfect pretty little experiment"

He had done electroconvulsive therapy and performed trephination, the latter he preferred. Although entertaining to watch their bodies seize and convulse, he enjoyed removing sections of their skull, watching them bleed. It was enthralling and captured his attention. Of course, his other methods were fine too - ice baths and insulin comas. It was all an experiment, something to keep him amused throughout his dull day job.

But what he planned to do to her? He had only done once before, and the results had been unfavourable. Maybe his technique wasn't up to par, or maybe he was just a little too rough but either way that thing lived their last few hours in unimaginable pain with irreversible brain damage. Worse than a vegative state.

But he had gotten better since then. He studied, he practised, and he knew what to do. He knew just how far to push that long sharp metal instrument as to not slice too much of the brain. He also knew now how not to blind the patient, not damaging any orbital nerves.

"Maybe one day you'll thank me" he murmured, "it's an honour to get picked, to be an experiment. Helping the greater good" he promised.

He got his fellow two colleagues to help move her to the basement. Pumping her full of sedatives first, or horse tranquiliser he wasn't sure which was used. Sometimes animal sedatives worked better on filth like them. It only dulled her physical movements and didn't affect anything emotionally. Her face was still twisted into terror, her pretty green eyes glassy and hollow, like she had seen so much she didn't know how to begin to process it.

If he didn't know her, he might've felt sorry for her.

Amanda, a sick individual much like himself, slammed the Hale girl onto a bare bed in the basement, instructing their rather unwilling collegue, Joshua, to fix the restraints. He was easy to bully, that Joshua. Meek and afraid of backlash, he was the perfect person to coerce into their experiments. He was too scared to blow the whistle on their little games. Maybe because he was aware of how brutal and nasty the repercussions would be. Most likely ending up in a bed next to whatever they decided to play with next.

He did as he was told, but his dark eyes stayed fixed on the Hale girl for longer than necessary, his baby doe eyes portraying so much sympathy and apology Brunski actually felt sick.

He slapped the kid's arm, shocking him from his staring, "quit it. She doesn't deserve your sympathy so set up the camera"

This could be a breakthrough procedure. He could change everything if this went right. He knew it was outlawed, that things like this were classified as 'inhumane', but he wasn't refining his technique and practising on humans now was he? No. he was experimenting on creatures, with the filth and scum of the planet.

So, really, there should be no problem.

Joshua did as he was told, setting up the camera opposite the Hale girl as she lay shaking on the bed, lips quivering and tears streaming down her cheeks, wetting her hair pooling around her.

He didn't bother with disinfection. No apron, no antibacterial procedures. Just a pair of rubber gloves in place as he slid over the metal table with silver tools towards the bed, smiling at how oblivious she looked to everything around her, stuck inside her own horrors.

"This is what you were put here to do, little one" he soothed, "to be my experiment, and don't you forget it"

He didn't know if she could even understand him, but he enjoyed taunting. The thrill of the cat and mouse game. Playing with his food before he ate it, so to speak. Made him feel powerful and in control, something he sometimes laced in his day to day life.

He didn't look at his two colleagues, just instructed them to turn the camera on and when he was sure he could see the little red light, he began.

"Did you know a lobotomy actually won a Noel Peace prize?" he spoke absentmindedly to her, clasping a metal head brace around her skull, making sure the pins tight against her head and secured it to the table – just in case she decided to get a little feisty.

"It treated tens of thousands of patients, with problems so much like yourself. Made them manageable. Controllable. Isn't that what you want?"

No reply. That was a-given.

"You should be thankful. This way is far less intrusive" he picked up the orbitoclast, a thin metal instrument so much like an ice-pick, and admitted it gleaming in the light, "it only has to go through your eye socket rather than the top of your skull. I'm being _kind_ to you"

She was quivering, eyes darting from side to side as he smirked, using his thumb to press underneath her right eye, forcing it to still.

"No anaesthesia for you though, I'm afraid. I need you awake for this. I need you aware. It's all a part of the experiment" he explained, "so do hold still... it'll be easier for you"

He aligned the orbitoclost against her eye socket, his glare warning her not to squirm as he held it there, picking up a small hammer with his other hand and tapping it gently a few times, trying to understand just how hard he would need to tap it to pierce through the thin bone to begin to cut through the nerve fibres, hopefully not butchering her in the process.

This needed to be a success.

He had waited _years_ for an opportunity like this, he wasn't going to ruin it.

And with that he slammed the hammer down hard enough for the metal instrument to pierce her eye socket, slicing apart her brain.

The deafening scream she let out was like music to his ears.

 **A/N) shorter than usual okayyyy way shorter ha but this is like a linking chapter to the darker part of the story, PLUS I have an exam tomorrow and an essay due next week lol, but I hope you all enjoyed and are intrigued about what's happening next so be sure to (please) leave a review and I will be ever so thankful lol, see ya next week sometime**


	65. Chapter 65 - Lobotomy

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any way, shape or form (I'm sad about that lol) but ANYWAYS yay I'm updating quicker (go me) and that's mainly down to you guys for all your support, it wouldn't be possible without all of you** **so a massive shout out to**

Meredith was alive.

Brunski, now dead.

The Deadpool list was Peter's fault. The mad ramblings of a comatose patient that Meredith misinterpreted and took into her own hands.

But that had been shut down, and all it took was a simple key deactivating a mystery piece of equipment behind the record player at the lake house.

Many lives saved, but also, many not.

Lydia was comforting Meredith at the station, trying to understand why she did what she did. It was quite heart-breaking really, to see someone so tortured they resorted to doing those unspeakable things. Lydia had seen that already, quite recently, with Kayla. It was soul crushing.

"Oh god… what have I done?" Meredith muttered, her warm brown eyes welling with tears and Lydia just rubbed her shoulder, sitting there in silence as a reassuring presence.

"I can't ever make up for this…"

"You can" Lydia smiled slightly, trying to keep her sadness at bay, "forgiveness is always possible"

Meredith was devastated, the guilt all consuming.

"Maybe I can start by… by telling you… telling you…"

Lydia frowned in concern, leaning towards Meredith, "telling me what?"

The rush of tears spilled from Meredith's eyes, her hands beginning to shake, "she should have stayed dead. She wasn't meant to come back. She was destined to die for him, just like how Allison was meant to die for you"

Lydia tensed, a wave of emotion catching the back of her throat and causing a well of nausea to settle in the pit of her stomach, the reminder of Allison's death and the guilt that came with it nearly forcing her to her knees. The only reason it didn't was the insinuation of Kayla. Kayla who had been missing for the past ten days.

"Meredith, do you know where Kayla is?" she asked, "because if you do then you need to tell me, right now"

Meredith begun crying again, "they did _horrible_ things to her" she exclaimed loudly, grabbing the attention of the Sheriff and Parrish who rushed in, "everyone always does horrible things to her and it hurts her so much. She didn't want to die, I felt that, I felt her not wanting to die. She wasn't ready. _She wasn't ready"_ she wailed, and Lydia had to lean back slightly, away from a hysterical Meredith, "and then they forced her back here. She hated it. She hated being the person she was and she wanted to fix it. She wanted to fix herself but no one let her. Everyone judged her and turned their backs on her without even realising it. Those men _hurt_ her" she whispered, and Lydia's stomach churned, remembering that night as clear as a bell, "and then she was hurting. And now she's back there"

Lydia's back stiffened, "back there? Back _where?"_

She had an awful feeling coursing through her veins but didn't want to think the worst, not without Meredith's explanation.

The fellow banshee gulped, her bottom lip wobbling, "… E-Eichen house"

The worry and guilt Lydia felt was immense. Not only did they allow Kayla to end up there, to let her disappear when they should've been looking after her and giving her the help she needs, but she and Stiles had been there just a few days ago. They had _been there_. They had been there as Brunski died and Meredith was revealed as the Benefactor. How could they have been so close to her yet not helped her?

"Sheriff…" she said quietly, her voice eerily quiet, "call stiles. We need to go get Kayla"

* * *

To say they went in there guns a 'blazing was an understatement.

Lydia and the sheriff had trouble keeping up with Stiles as he took the steps to Eichen house two at a time, barging through the door like a wild tornado and heading straight to the front desk.

"Tell me where she is. _NOW!_ "

The nurse looked taken aback and slightly scared at Stiles' booming voice, grabbing the attention of several other orderlies.

"Sir, you can't just come in here and- "

He slammed his open palms on the desk, his eyes now near pitch black with fury, "if you don't tell me where she is _right now_ , I will get _every_ supernatural creature I know to come here and storm this place until I find her" the nurse gulped nervously, "your safety not guaranteed"

Just when it looked like the nurse was going to either call security or cower back in terror from Stiles, a young pale man came up to them, his face etched with nerves.

"It's okay, I'll help you" he was nervous and jittery, floppy brown hair catching his eyelashes, "I'm Joshua- "

Stiles rounded on him, grabbing his white uniform and hauling him forward, "I don't _care_ , take me to Kayla **_NOW"_**

It took both the sheriff and Lydia to peel him off the orderly, telling him to calm down because getting angry wouldn't help this situation, and eventually Stiles listened – except his eyes told a completely different story. They were narrowed and glinting with murderous rage, glaring at the orderly with no remorse.

Joshua stepped back, gnawing on his bottom lip in nervousness, "she turned up here ten days ago" nodding for them to follow him as he made his way downstairs, "Brunski knew her from before. He admitted her, not legally. Because she's supernatural, she got placed downstairs. It was clear she was needing help but Brunski… he didn't help her. If anything, he just made things worse" he continued opening the metal gates down to the depths of Eichen house, giving them all chills, "I'm… I'm really sorry" he couldn't help but apologise as he stopped opposite the door to her room but Stiles didn't want to hear his apologies, he didn't care. So that was why he grabbed the keys from his slack grasp and began to open the door.

"I'm… I'm really sorry" he was practically pleading for forgiveness, looking now at Lydia and the sheriff, hoping they'd be more receptible to him, "I shouldn't have let this happen"

"No, you shouldn't have" Lydia's voice was stone cold, "but you did the right thing now. So leave us be"

Leave three complete strangers in the most guarded and dangerous section of Eichen house with a set of keys and revenge on their mind? It wasn't a good idea, he knew that, but his guilt won over. Guilt that he never stopped Brunksi carrying out that inhumane, sickening 'experiment'. Standing there and watching him basically torture her, all for his own curiosity. It was despicable, and he was too much of a coward to have stopped him then. He stood back and watched as Brunski toyed and played with her brain, and the after effects of that was… _horrendous_.

So he stepped away and never looked back, leaving them to find her and do with as they pleased. If they wanted to break her out and look after her themselves, they were more than welcome to in his own personal opinion. She was better off anywhere than here, he thought, this place was worse than hell.

Stiles almost tore the door off its hinges in his haste to see her, desperate and anxious to keep her safe, something he had failed to do so far.

The room was dark and cold, a single bed pushed to the left hand side of the room but it was empty, the bedding in shambles. Stiles stepped forward, eyes scanning the small area quickly to find a thin figure curled up in the corner but it was too dark to see much. Which was why he flicked the light switch on, the dim light flickering to life but the sudden brightness was too much for her and she grabbed her hair, covering her face with it as she buried her forehead into her raised knees.

Suddenly, nothing mattered anymore. In that moment, his anger, his hate, his worry and his anxiety all melted away. Just for that moment in which he saw her again.

He had lost her so many times, but this last time it had felt final. For the past ten days he was worried for her safety. Scared she would try something to take the pain away. Fretting over her state of mind, already so fragile.

A lot could happen in ten days.

"Kaylz?" he whispered, struggling to breathe properly as he watched her flinch, like she was scared of his voice, "Kayla, it's me, it's… it's Stiles"

Maybe those words didn't come of much comfort to her any more. Not since everything that had happened. And so much had happened these past couple of months.

But his voice broke through her isolated state and she slowly lifted her head from her knees, medium length brown hair thin and damp with sweat and grease, sticking to her forehead and cheeks. Those normally so vibrant eyes of hers were now hollow and filled with… nothing. Emptiness. Like she had seen too much and shut herself off from it.

She didn't even look like Kayla anymore.

Oh, how ten days can change everything.

He heard Lydia gasp, stumbling into his dad's side who caught her, gently rubbing her arm as they looked on in shock.

Stiles dropped to his knees opposite her, wanting to lift his arms to comfort her, embrace her, hep her feel safe but looking at her, seeing her so broken, was exhausting. He couldn't move. Stuck, stiff, watching her.

Her frame was small and skinny, the light blue hospital pants loose around her waist and white tee nearly hanging off her shoulders, her collar bones protruding from her upper chest. Her skin was a ghastly pale tinted with grey, hands scraped bloody.

If it hadn't had been for her raspy breathing, Stiles might have mistaken her as dead.

"I'm so sorry…" he whispered, "Kaylz, I'm sorry…"

Looking into her eyes were the worst, seeing minimal traces of the Kayla he knew so well. Seeing her face gaunt and hollow, bruises fading from her eyes. They had hurt her in here. She was lost and looking for help, and they hurt her.

She looked like she was going to say something, her dry lips parting a little but no words came out. Just a whimper.

He broke once again, silently crying as he reached out for her but as soon as he did she started screaming. These terrified wails of fear and he immediately dropped his hands, trying to show her she was safe but she didn't recognise that, grabbing her hair and pulling at it in desperation.

And every time Kayla screamed this desperately, it felt like knives were being driven into Lydia's ears and she winced, covering them with her hands as the sheriff tried to console her and Stiles tried to calm down Kayla but she was comfortless.

Eventually Lydia had to leave the room, escaping out into the hall before her ear drums burst, leaning back against the wall in exhaustion as the sheriff followed her out, making sure she was okay. And judging by the fresh blood dripping from her ears, she wasn't.

"It's too much" she gasped, accepting the handkerchief the sheriff passed to her, holding it to her ear, "what she's feeling… the pain... oh _god-_ "

"It's bad isn't it?"

Lydia nodded, unable to formulate appropriate words to express to the sheriff just how tormented Kayla was right now, but eventually her screaming died down, the pain in her ears slowly subsiding, enough so that she could hover back over the threshold and watch as Stiles held Kayla's hands. Something so simple yet so powerful, enough that Kayla must've felt something – safety maybe? – because she appeared to calm down, accepting his touch.

"I'm going to get you out of here Kaylz, back home, where you belong alright? I'll look after you, I promise. No one will ever hurt you again" he vowed, "c'mon baby, try and stand for me"

She was like a new born bambino trying to find its legs, stumbling weakly but Stiles was there to hold her, his hand sliding around her hip and blanching at how thin she was, her hip bone sticking out, rib cage prominent and waist so tiny she was like a twig. The clothes covered up just how gauntly and dangerously thin she was.

"It's okay, I've got you" he reassured, holding back his sadness as he helped her from her room but she stopped suddenly, glancing between his dad and Lydia but then let her eyes drop down to focus on his dad's uniform.

He felt her tense up immediately, her eyes pooling with tears as she stared at the beige uniform and Stiles knew exactly why she was frozen, rooted to the spot in terror.

The sheriff's uniform, so much like a deputies. The police badge glinting in the dim yellow light. The same police badge she saw and remembered from when she got raped. One trauma after another.

He tried to distract her before the emotion became too much but it was futile. She crumbled, beginning to shake in fear, turning around to bury herself in his chest as she cried. His dad looked on guiltily, residing himself to the fact he wasn't helping being here dressed as he was so left, his gaze portraying sympathy.

"Shhhh, its okay Kay, you're safe now" Lydia whispered, stroking her hair as Stiles held her up, "you're safe now"

* * *

Stiles drove them all back to his house, the others waiting for them there. Lydia held Kayla in the back seat, letting her rest her head on her legs as she stroked her hair and rubbed her back, worried at how thin she was. How ill she looked. The whole ride trying desperately to hold back her tears.

It wasn't easy trying to get her into the house.

She started crying, cowering and shaking when they tried to coax her into the house which took several minutes to relax her, Stiles letting her grab onto his shirt as he helped her into the house, Lydia's jacket draped around her shoulders.

Their friends stood cautiously in the living room when they entered, not wanting to intrude but desperate to know what had happened. Dylan was the first to step forward, his heartbroken gaze falling to his sister, seeing her be a shadow of her former self. Derek was next, unable to look at her long before he turned away, not wanting to show too much emotion and be vulnerable. Scott, Kira and Malia stood back but each had varying degrees of shock on their face.

Maybe there was too many people for her to cope with, or maybe she thought they were going to do something to her but she feebly broke away from Stiles' grip and Stiles just let her, scared to be too forceful because she seemed so delicate, so fragile, and let her stumble back to the corner of the hallway, sliding down the wall and holding her knees to her chest.

The exact position they had found her in. Like a scared, weak and injured animal.

He didn't know what to do.

He had _no_ idea how to help her.

"She needs… food. Fresh clothes" Dylan murmured, "bandages… her hand"

She had been scratching at her left hand enough to make the skin bleed and become red raw, a nervous tick.

"And sleep" Derek sighed, "she looks like she hasn't slept in days"

She twitched at their voices intruding her muddled up brain, too many voices chanting inside her head. There was always too many, unable to count.

"She needs peace" Lydia whispered, tears spilling down her cheeks in distress, "you should all go. She needs to feel safe again, and she can't with everyone here" she reached out and touched Stiles' arm, "I can stay, if you like?"

Stiles was thankful for any help, any support offered. Dylan and Derek weren't too happy, fretting and worried over Kayla but Scott convinced them to let her settle in, that she was in safe hands and they could come back tomorrow.

So everyone left, and then there was only three.

Lydia slipped up next to him, intertwining their hands.

"I'm here" she whispered, her thumb stroking the back of his hands as they both stared at Kayla cowering in on herself, "you're not alone in this Stiles, I promise"

And he couldn't be more thankful. These past ten days had been hell. He was lost. Thinking the worst. But nothing could have prepared him for this. He wasn't ready to see Kayla like this. It was too much.

Lydia sensed that. She knew he had been holding himself together for days, weeks, even months. Ever since the nogitsune when things started to get bad. Which was why she was ready when he leaned his head on her shoulder and cried and all Lydia could do was soothe him as best she could, her own tears falling too.

* * *

They had been at his house since early evening the night before and it was now creeping on noon. Him and Lydia hadn't slept a wink, both too wired and worried to even think about something as trivial as sleep. Lydia had made them hot drinks but Stiles didn't have the stomach to even try and take anything. Too focused on Kayla.

He watched her break over and over again, her mind continually collapsing upon itself the more time passed. Unable to do a damn thing to ease her pain or take away her fear. Just watch as she cried and screamed and tore chunks of her hair out, short bitten nails scratching her skin until it was red raw, shaking hands digging into her eye sockets in a desperate attempt to stop the visions, the hallucinations, whatever it was she was seeing. Whatever brutal, torturous images her mind was showing her.

Then there were moments of silence, like she was comatose. Retruding back into herself. It went from one extreme to another, and it was exhausting trying to keep up with it.

And now here she was, cowering back against the corner of the living room where she felt safest, knees tucked against her chest as she shook, incoherent mumblings falling from her chapped dry lips. Looking at her now, broken into a thousand pieces, she was nearly unrecognisable from the Kayla they knew. Her hair falling in front of her face like curtains, eyes sunken and bruised with lack of sleep, body jittery and jerking every time she got a fright from whatever what going on inside her head, slim figure too thin, like just a simple knock would break every bone in her body.

Getting her emotions back may have broken her; but what happened in Eichen House had _destroyed_ her.

He took the initiative and stepped forward slowly, swallowing back the aching lump in his throat, "Kayla?" He asked quietly, "baby, can you hear me?" yearning to hear her voice, even just one simple word or at the very least, some sort of recognition.

Her wild eyes zig-zagged across the floor, her right hand nervously toying with the bandages on her left one that he and Lydia had managed to patch, beginning to scratch at the skin as she ignored him, totally disassociating from everything around her, the hallucinations too strong.

He took another hesitant step forward, feeling hot tears well beneath his lids, "you're okay now, you're safe... Remember?"

She jerked, shaking her head frantically as she pressed herself back against the wall, ripping away the bandages and exposing her bloodied left hand, the one she had scratched until the muscle was nearly on show and beginning to scratch at it some more, not even flinching at the pain.

It killed him to see this, to watch her agony and not be able to ease the pain.

"Kaylz, please" he kneeled down hesitantly, feeling like a knife was cutting his gut apart as she jolted and pushed herself back further, too scared to engage with him, "don't hurt yourself. I'm here. I'm here and I'll get you through this"

She wouldn't look at him, heartbroken tears filling up her eyes as she dropped her head forward before snapping it back against the wall, beginning to cry as she repeatedly careened her skull against the wall and despite knowing he had to take things slow and hesitant he leapt forward and wrestled her away from the wall, not willing to let her be in pain. He would never stand back and watch that.

"Shhhhhh, shhhh Kaylz, it's okay, I got you, I got you" he reassured, holding her flailing desperate body in his unrelenting grip, letting a few tears fall as her wails pierced his eardrums, "you're safe, I _promise_. You're safe here... With me"

But she didn't hear his words, too stuck in her damaged brain to understand what he was saying - it didn't make sense, none of this made sense to her. All she was sure about was she wanted away from here, to be gone, to be dead. She needed away from this hell. She needed punished. She was continuously drowning and unable to get air and no one could help her.

They had done something so inhumane to her, so devastatingly soul destroying, that she lacked capacity and comprehension - the emotional floodgate was open, tearing her to pieces, yet she didn't have the skills to control this, to rationalise or compartmentalise. When they pinned her down, tied her up, made her body freeze yet mind alert as they hammered that thing through her orbital socket and through her brain they severed parts of it that wasn't supposed to be severed. They thought they could fix her psychosis, make her 'manageable' - anything to stop the crazy talk, they had said, her mad ramblings to imaginary figures.

And now she was trapped inside her head, unable to express herself through anything bar screaming and crying and hurting herself to relieve some of the pressure, unable to say even one single thing.

Mute.

Totally incapacitated.

And no one knew how to fix it. How could they reverse years of torture, of agony? The human mind was such a fragile, delicate thing. It wasn't like a broken bone - a few weeks of rest and back to normal. It was complicated, unknown territory. People could live without using their leg or arm, it would be hard but manageable, but the loss of sanity? Not so much.

Her exhaustion soon won out though, her days of not sleeping, her empty stomach and thin stature made her weak as she gasped back loud panicked breaths in mind numbing fear, not fighting his calming grip anymore as she collapsed back against his chest, her cheeks wet with tears.

She couldn't tell them how badly she didn't want to be alive anymore... How desperate she was for this pain to end because the damage had been done, forced to be stuck within her own mind like a prison. She couldn't tell them to leave her be, to give up, to just let her die because anything was better than this hell. She didn't even understand what went through her head - the voices, the flashes, the blood and corpses of all those lives she took, it made no sense yet she felt them all in perfect clarity.

'As mad as a box of frogs' was probably the closest definition of her at this moment in time.

So Stiles just held her, feeling her resistance wear out but her entire body trembled like a scared kitten, her wide fearful eyes trained on one spot in particular just ahead of her.

He glanced over, seeing nothing there, just a simple empty wall but he knew, deep in his gut, whatever she was seeing, whatever she was visioning, was completely and utterly horrifying beyond comprehension.

He had pushed and pushed and pushed for her to let those emotions back in, to be the Kayla they all knew and loved but now here he was, restraining her to stop her from hurting herself, trying to get through to her, to understand what terrible things she was thinking but her mind had caved in and he was too late to save her from that.

He had promised her, he promised, that _no matter what_ she would never end up back in Eichen house. He remembered vowing that to her yet here they were, Stiles had broken another promise yet again and Kayla was on the brink of losing it completely.

Maybe, just maybe, he should've told her to stay emotionless. At least then she would have gotten another chance at life.

* * *

"C'mon Kaylz... you have to eat something" Stiles urged later on that day, trying not to sound desperate or pushy or even forceful but he wasn't just worried – he was seriously freaking the hell out, "Chicken noodle soup... you love chicken noodle soup" He pointed out, gently lifting the spoon again, "Even just a mouthful?" He bargained, needing to get some food into her but she just gave him a blank look back, her mind obviously not following this rather one sided conversation, "Baby... please" He muttered quietly, gulping noisily, "For me?" He whispered croakily, hands shaking slightly as Kayla just looked at him like he was speaking nonsense before looking down at her lap, hair falling in front of her face, the sofa seeming too big for her small frame.

Stiles sighed, just about ready to have a full blown breakdown – this was all just too much, he couldn't see this, couldn't see her wasting away because that's what she was doing – she had always been on the slim side but at least she looked healthy, this was just taking it to new extremes. Her eyes were hallow, skin deathly pale, whole body cold to touch and she was just losing far too much weight, hell, she was practically skin and bone.

"Here... let me try" Lydia interrupted his thoughts, kneeling down next to him and gently taking the hot bowl of soup from his shaking hands, "You're stressed enough as it is" And Stiles just met her worried gaze, his emotions in turmoil – it wasn't that he didn't trust anyone else with her, because he did, but right now he didn't want to let her out of his sight, not even for a minute.

Lydia must have sensed his reluctance and distress because she took a hold of his hand with her free one, gaze never leaving his, "I lost two of my best friends... but I got one back, I'll look after her" She implored, sending Stiles a small smile, "I promise"

And Stiles felt stupid for doubting her – of course Lydia would hold the fort, he wasn't the only one that cared about Kayla.

Stiles nodded slightly as Lydia let go of his hand, gently rubbing her palm on his back, "Take five minutes... or as long as you need" She murmured as Stiles leaned forward, tilting Kayla's chin up tenderly, blinking past the bleariness that fogged up his vision.

"Kaylz... Lydia is gonna stay here with you okay?" He asked softy, craving a sensible answer from her, "You remember Lydia... don't you?" And Kayla just furrowed her eyebrows, eyes sunken and hollow, "Well... she'll be here and I'll just be through there-" He pointed behind him to the kitchen where Isaac and Malia were watching cautiously, "-If you need anything" He finished, raising his eyebrows, waiting for an answer but it was clear a nonchalant look was all he was going to get.

He blinked back the tears and bit back his pleads for her to just do or say something, _anything_ – a squeeze of the hand, a subtle nod, hell even one simple word would feel like music to his ears right about now but no, like Malia had put ever so tastefully, she really had 'lost the plot'.

So Stiles just nodded, biting his lip as he stood up, running a weary and tired hand down his face and leaving Lydia to it, glancing over his shoulder before he reached the kitchen.

"Hey Kayla... It's Lyd here" He heard Lydia say in a false cheery voice, "Now don't be silly okay? You love your food... food is like god to you, you practically worship the stuff" He heard Lydia chuckle as she raised the spoon slowly, "So if you want to we can share this?" She further suggested but Stiles' heart broke all over again as Kayla just closed her eyes briefly, like she was either confused or overwhelmed or both.

And Stiles had had enough – he couldn't watch that for much longer... the girl he had fallen head over heels in love with was a shadow of her former self – She didn't sass them or snark at them, she didn't tease them or even engage in conversation... she just ignored them all, as if she had no clue who they were. Too frightened, too scared to do anything as her mind tore itself apart.

And Stiles felt himself breaking apart on the inside at how broken she really was and for a second, just a second, he wondered if this was worth it... if maybe she would be better just staying dead instead of all this torment – because that was what it was, torture, for all of them and Kayla, trapped inside her mind, living horrors all over again, being dependable on people, scared out of her mind... was that a life worth living?

But as he entered the kitchen he shook his head, dispelling those thoughts.

No one deserved to die that young or suffer through that pain for only trying to help – he would bring her back, no matter how many weeks, months or even years it took because she deserved that, she deserved a second chance, a chance to not be punished for all the good she had done.

"She still not eating?" Isaac asked in worry, looking over Stiles' shoulder as Malia just furrowed her eyebrows at the werewolf before sending a calculating look in Kayla's direction.

Everyone was taking turns coming over and checking on Kayla's progress, trying to convince Lydia and Stiles to rest. First it was Derek and Dylan, then Scott and Kira and now Isaac and Malia. Stiles was too exhausted, too sad to even be mad at Isaac for being here. His resentment at the blue eyed werewolf was nothing compared to the grief and torment he felt in these moments.

"Not eating, drinking, sleeping... not doing anything" Stiles muttered back, keeping his back turned as Lydia attended to Kayla, trying to spoon feed her, "It's like... it's like she's just..."

"It's like she's empty" Isaac finished his sentence, sending Stiles a sympathetic look, "But, maybe... I don't know, give it some time?" He suggested, "It's not everyday someone comes back from the dead and loses their emotions, then gets them back all in the space of a couple of months... there's bound to be an adjustment period"

"You mean when she killed people and then tried to kill us?" Malia asked bluntly with no shame what so ever and Stiles shot her a glare, fed up with her stupid insults and jabs.

"Malia..." Isaac warned in a low voice, sending her a blatant look, obviously trying to get her to shut up before Stiles snapped.

"Am I the only one that remembers that?" Malia asked, ignoring Isaac's subtle hints to stop prodding, "That she's killed people... snapped a fourteen year old girls' neck?" And Stiles was this-close to boiling point, "And now you're all babying her... the best place for her now is somewhere like Eichen house" But Stiles had reached volcanic explosion level.

Stiles lashed out, his fist slamming into his cupboard door, leaving it hanging off the hinges, "Shut up" He snarled so fiercely Malia actually took a step back in shock, "You have _no right_ to comment on matters you know _nothing_ about"

"She tried to _kill_ me" Malia exclaimed but Stiles wasn't hearing none of it.

"You don't know her" He snapped back, glowering at the werecoyote, " _Our_ Kayla died that night in the school... everything that she was just gone – she died in my arms... it was _my_ fault she bled out, choking on her blood" He took a threatening step forward as Isaac wound an arm around Malia's waist, pushing her back slightly, "Do you know what it feels like to get impaled through the chest? The punctured lung, the tears in the heart muscle, the nerve splitting pain, the de-lodged windpipe... has that ever happened to you? No, it hasn't, but it happened to her and she died... I _lost_ her and whatever has happened since then was not her fault... I just got her back and I'm not going to let you take that away from me" He didn't realise he was striding forward until he reached Malia, glowering at the girl as Isaac tried to separate the two but to no avail, "The girl I love is only a few feet away but in reality there's millions of miles between us – she's in there feeling scared and alone... stuck thinking god knows what and I am _not_ going to let you send her back to that place, is that clear?" He demanded, pushing Isaac away roughly, "I said _is_ _that clear?_ " He roared, grabbing a hold of Malia's shoulders tightly, his frustrations leaking out from him in waves.

"Yes... Yes I'm sorry" Malia shouted back looking just slightly terrified as Stiles came back to his senses with a bang, letting go of her shoulders and taking a step backwards though the glare still remained on his features.

"Good" He glowered, "Because I mean it Malia... what she did... hurting people" He took in a deep breath, willing the tears to go away, "That wasn't Kayla – that was because something twisted her sense of right and wrong, took away her emotions, made her into that" He sighed as he rubbed his eyes, ignoring Isaac's sympathetic look in his direction, "If I ever manage to get her back, to fix her like I promised... then you'll see how amazing and special she is... and you won't hate her" He shook his head, "Because it's impossible to" And just as he finished his speech, the speech that made him feel so vulnerable and on the spot, Lydia hesitantly knocked on the door, raising her eyebrows at all of them.

"The tension is so thick in here I could cut it with a knife" She greeted, giving them all a disapproving glare as she put the empty bowl and spoon next to the sink, crossing her arms as if to say 'okay guys, what the hell is going on?'

"Wait..." Stiles muttered, looking at Lydia in tense anticipation, "She ate the soup? All of it?" And Lydia just smiled at him.

"Well... I had a couple of mouthfuls to get her started, show her that it wasn't poisonous or anything, and after that... yeah" She nodded, looking pleased, "It was a slow process but she did it" And Stiles sighed in relief, running a hand through his hair as he looked at Kayla who was back to curling herself up on the couch, fingers tugging at her greasy strands of her hair as she gazed at the floor, her eyes wide and terrified.

"Did she say anything?"

Lydia's face fell, sadness etched onto her features, "no... But she did uh... She did point to something" he cocked a brow, not following her, "I think... Stiles, I think the reason she can't speak... Or express herself... Or do much of anything is..." she paused, her moss green eyes welling up with tears, "Stiles... I think she had a lobotomy"

His jaw hung open, his knees getting ready to give way as he grabbed a hold of the counter top to steady himself, "a… a what?"

Lydia looked like the words were physically repulsive, glancing between him and their friends, "a lobotomy" she repeated, "her eyes… they're still bruised. I saw… marks there" she explained, "if I'm right…" she sighed sadly, tears pooling in her eyes, "it explains her behaviour. Lobotomies have been known to cause… cause brain damage…"

Stiles shook his head, unable to hear anymore as he brushed past his friends and leaned against the doorway, his stare unwavering from Kayla.

"Who would do this do her?"

"I can think of someone who works there who's sick of the head" Malia said glumly, and Stiles' back stiffened, turning around to face her.

"Brunksi"

"Brunski" Malia agreed, "he was the worst"

A fiery ball of rage erupted in his gut, his fists curling, "the bastard is already dead"

Lydia saw his anger beginning to take over, watched his whole demeanour change and didn't want that to happen. Kayla needed Stiles to be wholly dedicated to her right now, not concentrating his energy on revenge.

"Stiles, forget about Brunski" she advised, "don't go down that road, not now"

He whipped around, his eyes like fire, " _Forget_ about him? _Look what he did to her!"_

"I know, I know" she soothed, rubbing his arm, "but he's dead. He can't hurt her anymore. There's nothing you can do to him. So focus on now. Focus on Kayla" she suggested, "she needs you more than _ever_ "

All his energy left him in one big sigh, his shoulders sagging.

"But… a lobotomy…" he said helplessly, not even knowing where to begin.

"I know… I know Stiles…."

They all peered through the doorway, watching Kayla struggle with herself, with whatever was happening inside her mind and they all wondered when – or _if_ – they would ever get her back.

 **A/N) WOOO see another chapter yayyyyy, I know still dark, but we soon be wrapping up the end of season four so YAY. This storyline is very dark and personal to kayla, and it does explore much more darker themes than the tv show. Rape, mental health, abuse, all that kind of stuff but IT DOES GET BETTER , may not seem like it but it does lol.**

 **But I hope you all enjoyed and PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW, its much needed and appreciated, a lot foof stuff's been going on and I would really love the motivation** **see you all soon**


	66. Chapter 66 - Teddy

**Disclaimer: Teen wolf does not belong to me in any way shape or form, just purely this fanfic. Again, I suck, I made you wait for an update but I am trying lol and I super appreciate your patience and the reviews you leave so please keep them coming haha, enjoy this next chapter**

He was torn between letting his heartbreak ruin him or his fury overtake him. Caught in the middle of not knowing what to feel. Feeling like a boat swept up in a wild storm. Should he be sad? Grieve over what Kayla was losing, and had lost? Or be furious with those that hurt her? What was the most appropriate emotion to be feeling in this moment in time?

He felt a hand slide across his back, a comforting warm touch that pulled him from his musings as he glanced to the side to see Lydia, joining him in his stance as they watched Kayla curl up on the sofa, little whimpers escaping her dry lips.

"You're scared we're not going to be able to get her back from this, aren't you?"

His top teeth punctured his bottom lip, anxiety streaming through his bloodstream, "I've just… never seen her like this before. Never seen _anyone_ like it before"

Lydia sighed, agreeing silently with Stiles – what Kayla was presenting with was outstandingly unique, something that films and TV shows could never capture and doctors would be baffled by. Even with her wealth of knowledge behind her and familiarity with Kayla, her close bond with her best friend, she was completely and utterly lost.

"I really hoped I was wrong" Stiles frowned inquisitively at her and she fumbled to clarify, "about what they did to her. For the first time I wished I was wrong" she glanced down sadly, holding her tears at bay, "she didn't deserve it"

"She didn't deserve a lot of things" Stiles murmured, "and we let them happen. _I_ let them happen" he blew out a raspy breath, his bottom lip trembling slightly, "Lydia… is this kind of brain damage… is it permanent?"

She wasn't a doctor – she could be, one day, and she knew plenty anatomical and medical facts to outsmart any junior doctor, but this she was unsure. The brain was so complicated, so unique, it made diagnosing or predicting behaviour so much harder.

She swallowed thickly, "I'm not sure. The brain is capable of healing and regenerating itself, but it depends entirely on the severity. If many neurons were damaged then they can't grow back, but the synapses can, given time. That means there's a chance people with severe brain damage can relearn things that were once lost. But…" Lydia trailed off, the seriousness of the situation they were in hitting her like a ton of bricks, "… it depends what part of the brain was damaged"

Stiles was eerily still, his arms folded across his chest as he watched Kayla on the sofa, not even blinking, "what part of her brain was damaged?"

Lydia winced, not sure if he really wanted to know the details but didn't want to disagree with Stiles, not now, not when he was under so much pressure.

"The um… the prefrontal cortex and the frontal lobe most likely. It's impossible to tell without an MRI but uh… that's the targeted area of a lo… of the procedure"

She couldn't even get the word ' _lobotomy_ ' out without feeling sick to her stomach.

Stiles nodded, still gnawing on his bottom lip just as the front door opened and he craned his neck to the side to see Derek and Dylan appear hesitantly, catching his worried gaze.

Malia and Isaac agreed to keep an eye on Kayla, despite her being quite still and quiet now, as Stiles and Lydia pulled Dylan and Derek to the side and out of earshot to let them know what they had found out.

"We should take her to a doctor" Dylan insisted, "what if she's hurt bad?"

"How do we explain it?" Derek shrugged, "and if the damage is extensive then they'll take her away again"

"Which is never going to happen" Stiles said boldly, " _ever_. So I'll keep her here, look after her. Maybe… maybe with some familiarity she'll be okay"

Lydia winced, something everyone picked up on, and she found herself surrounded by three pairs of curious eyes, each full of high intensity anxiety and curiosity.

"It's just… this type of brain damage is likely to effect, well…" Lydia swallowed thickly again, " _everything_. Like… like behaviour and cognition, even physically. Stiles, if you wanted to look after her the way she is now, you'd have to bathe her, dress her, feed her, take her to the bathroom. And that's just the basics, it's not taking into consideration things like medication, rehabilitation, emotional support. What if she doesn't sleep? What if she tries to hurt herself? What if it's too much for you?" she rounded off with, shrugging sadly.

Stiles' frown deepened, looking disgruntled and offended by her remarks, "you don't think I'll be able to cope?"

Lydia winced, "I never said that-"

"No, but you implied it" he snapped and a blossom of guilt welled in her stomach, mixed with the immense sadness poisoning her body, "this is _Kayla_ we're talking about for god sake. I'd do _anything_ for her. I don't care how hard it'll get, she deserves someone – and I'll _be_ that someone"

His shoulder knocked against hers as he brushed past her to the living room and despite being tired and lacking energy, steeled himself as he approached Kayla slowly, perching himself on the sofa next to her but she still flinched, her fingers tangling through her greasy hair.

"He's going to ware himself out" Derek pointed out sadly, "taking responsibility for her"

Lydia just smiled sorrowfully, "did you expect anything else?"

No, Derek thought, he didn't. He may dislike the kid at times, but he couldn't fault his loyalty to Kayla – even when, at times, she didn't deserve it.

Dylan was still trying to understand everyone's personalities and relationships with one another, but in this moment he truly realised just how much they all cared for one another. The perfect pack.

"What are we going to do?" Dylan asked helplessly, "does anyone have _any_ ideas on how we can fix this?"

Everyone stayed quiet, even himself. Each person completely and utterly lost.

"Let's just… take it day by day" Lydia sighed, casting her glance back to the living room where Stiles was softly speaking to Kayla, trying to be a comforting presence but she acted as if he wasn't even there, completely lost in her own mind, "see if there's any change or improvement"

"And if there isn't?" Dylan asked nervously, "what if she just gets worse?"

They all stayed still and silent, not willing to admit it to themselves or one another as they each held back, studying Stiles interacting with Kayla.

He was trying to coax her to drink some water, knowing she was most likely dehydrated, but it seemed impossible. She wasn't understanding his words, unable to follow even the simplest of instructions. She couldn't hold the glass, she probably didn't even have the strength to. He tried tipping the curve of the glass against her mouth but she never swallowed, her quick shallow breaths making the water bubble and splatter. He attempted with a straw but her dry lips never closed around it, not able to suck the liquid up the straw. Antsy with worry, he asked Isaac for a tea spoon and scooped a small amount onto the shiny metal, carefully letting it spill into her mouth.

Slowly but surely wins the race.

He repeated that mantra in his head, over and over and over until half the glass was gone, using his hoody sleeve to wipe away the droplets dripping down her chin.

"There there" he soothed, dabbing gently at her bruised skin as she shook, whether from fear, the cold or lack of energy he didn't know, "did you enjoy that?"

Talking to her like nothing was wrong might not have been the best thing to do but he wanted normalcy for Kayla, something familiar for her to focus on. Maybe with a little dedication and understanding she would be okay…

He sighed to himself, stretching down to place the glass on the floor but when he pulled himself up he found Kayla's eyes, blackened with lack of sleep, staring at him with an unwavering gaze.

"Kaylz…"? he said surprised, slightly taken aback by her sudden concentration on him, "is everything okay?"

Her eyes were latched onto his, heavy and lidded but with intent and he quirked a brow, confused by her behaviour. Her frail arm trembled as it reached out toward him, shaky fingers dusting along his jaw line and he just let her do whatever it was she was doing, not wanting to scare him off. She tried opening her mouth, her lips moving as if to formulate words but nothing came out except a strange gargle which turned into a frustrated whimper and she dropped her hand, her eyes beginning to brim with tears.

"It's okay Kaylz… I'm right here" he reassured, trying to reach out for her but she wrapped her arms around her torso, her gauntly thin face screwing up in discomfort and he was baffled, unsure what could be wrong but Lydia stepped forward, somehow understanding right away.

"I think she needs to use the restroom" Lydia said softly, kneeling down opposite Kayla, "I'll take her… Kayla?" she asked, "do you want to come with me?" extending her hand, "it'll make you feel better"

Ever since Lydia helped Kayla with the soup, it was like she indistinctively trusted her – well… as much as anyone could trust anyone in a hyper alert paranoid state of mind. But compared to everyone else, she seemed more… accepting of Lydia's presence. Sometimes even more than Stiles', at times.

Kayla stared down at Lydia's hand, not understanding what it was there for but Lydia just smiled softly and slowly took charge and linked her fingers with Kayla's, nodding upstairs as the small restroom downstairs was out of order.

Kayla's slack expression was void of much awareness but she numbly accepted Lydia's grip, needing help to stand up yet she still wobbled, swaying slightly on the spot.

Stiles was ready to help but before he could, Lydia stabilised Kayla and slid her hand around the small of her back and Kayla cringed slightly at the imposing touch, her body tensing but accepted it, not pulling away or lashing out.

"it's not far" Lydia reassured her, "and I promise you'll feel much better"

Stiles couldn't help but feel a little bitter when he watched this, like he was being pushed out of the picture. It was supposed to be _him_ looking after her, caring for her, making sure she got better. Not anyone else. She was supposed to respond to _him_.

He frowned, watching Lydia guide Kayla forward and towards the stairs and couldn't help but let his curious sad eyes latch onto her body underneath her baggy clothes. Yeah, she had always been slim but not like this. It was heart-breaking.

Maybe Lydia sensed his… jealousy, was it? Because she glanced over her shoulder as they got to the bottom step and smiled, nothing but friendliness and hope brimming in her gaze and he knew he was being stupid. He should be glad for the help, the extra assistance. Kayla wasn't only close to him, she was close to _all_ their pack. He shouldn't shield her from their love and care – even Isaac's.

Speak of the devil…

Stiles felt his overbearing, over-tall presence before he saw him, rolling his eyes as he felt Isaac sit next to him on the sofa, Malia studying the two of them and Derek and Dylan turned away in their own private conversation.

"Yes?" Stiles bit out, irritation dripping from his tone of voice as he rolled his eyes at Isaac, the tension between them still thick.

"Lydia just wants to help" Isaac said, "and Kayla trusts her"

"I know" Stiles exclaimed, "I don't need you telling me that"

Isaac sighed, "you're still mad at me, aren't you?"

"Well, let's see" Stiles exclaimed, "you had your tongue down my girlfriend's throat _again_ -"

"Well, she wasn't your girlfriend at the time and there was no tongue-"

"-And _then_ -" Stiles' continued as if Isaac had never interrupted him, "-you told her no one would ever forgive her and she'd be better off away from us. You tried to drive her away"

"I didn't" Isaac murmured, "believe it or not I was actually trying to help her"

Stiles chuckled darkly, "help her? Yeah right"

"I was" Isaac defended himself, "Stiles, imagine Kayla never ended up in Eichen house. Imagine she didn't have the problems she des now, and she was willing to work through her guilt, how do you think she would feel coming face to face with the people she hurt, the people she slept with, every day? I know Kayla… she's my best friend, she was the girl I _loved_ for god sake-" he exclaimed, "-had she been well, or if she ever recovers, Beacon Hills wont be the best place for her. You know that, I know that, everyone knows that. I was just the one brave enough to say it"

Stiles hated to admit it but… Isaac may have had a point. After everything that had happened, why would Kayla want to stay here? Would she be able to cope? What if being here, in the place where all these bad things happened, just hindered her recovery?

… Or maybe he was stupid for letting Isaac get inside his head, trying to rationalise his insane and selfish thought process.

"Don't justify your actions to me to ease your guilt" Stiles said, "yeah, Kayla did some bad things. And yeah, maybe you're right, maybe Kayla staying here isn't for the best, but what you said was bang out of order, especially considering she's ' _apparently_ ' your best friend"

Isaac's shoulders sagged, "I want her to be okay you know"

Despite everything, their differences - Stiles' anger, his jealousy— he knew Isaac still cared for Kayla. He would be stupid to try and deny that.

"… I know" Stiles mumbled, "me too…"

Lydia managed to help Kayla up the stairs, holding her steady and still as she guided her to the bathroom opposite Stiles room, making sure Kayla knew she wasn't going to hurt her as she slowly tugged down her loose bottoms, knowing the issues Kayla may have now with this kind of contact considering what had happened.

"It's alright" Lydia reassured, keeping her gaze soft and her stance submissive, "I'm not going to hurt you, just uh… sit down" she helped lower Kayla down, wrapping her hand around her boney shoulder, "take as long as you need"

Lydia perched herself on the edge of the bath, crossing her legs and smiling at Kayla who looked really uncomfortable, her face twisted into discomfort.

"Um… it's alright" She continued, "you probably just really need to pee. It's okay. It's natural. Just let it happen"

Never did she think she would ever be looking after Kayla as if she was in a near vegetative state mixed with elements of psychosis. It seemed so inhumane, crossing boundaries and personal space to deliver care. Feeding her, cleaning her, washing her, taking her to the bathroom… something every person takes for granted.

She waited in silence for a few minutes until finally she passed some urine, and despite not being able to communicate well, Lydia could tell by the slight relief in her expression whatever pain she was feeling had gone.

"There, all better" Lydia tried to remain positive and upbeat, coaxing her to her feet as she adjusted her baggy clothes which could probably do with a change, "how about we find you some clean clothes? We can maybe tackle the shower tomorrow, huh?"

It was obvious Kayla had no clue what she was saying but Lydia felt better speaking to Kayla like this, treating her like a human being. Or maybe she was just pretending things were normal.

She guided Kayla through to Stiles' room and it seemed to ignite something inside her, maybe a sense of familiarity and belonging because she stumbled to a stop, glancing around the room as if in curiosity. Her expression, though, was stiff and nearly empty, her mind in shambles.

"This is Stiles' room" Lydia said quietly, "which is a total mess, as per usual" she added with a slight teasing smile, "boys never clean-up" rolling her eyes as the dirty clothes strewn across the carpet and over piling in the laundry basket, his bed messy and unmade, books cluttering the floor.

Kayla kept staring at it but her eyes were glazed over, not really taking anything in it seemed, but the environment seemed to calm her. She wasn't as tense, nor as jittery, she just stayed still in the middle of the room, possibly trying to understand why this place was affecting her.

"Here… take a seat" Lydia encouraged, flattening Stiles' covers and helping lower a wobbly Kayla down to the edge of the bed, "I'll see if I can find something fresh for you to wear"

That looked unlikely judging by the layers of clothes thrown across his room but Lydia kicked them away, bending down to look through his nearly empty drawers. Kayla's clothes were mainly tight tees and shorts or jeans, whatever comfy clothes she did have stashed here she couldn't find and most of Stiles' was, well, **weird**. Lydia wasn't going to dress Kayla up like she was in the circus.

She sighed, pushing herself up from the floor and turned around, only to see Kayla loosely holding Stiles' lacrosse hoody that she must have found on his disgruntled bed. That, too, didn't exactly look the freshest but the way Kayla was trying to grip at it, much like a comforter, melted Lydia's heart.

"Good choice" Lydia smiled, "it'll be warm and cosy, just what you need"

She gently and carefully coaxed Kayla from her blue hospital tee, pulling the rough material over her head and tried not to blanche at the sight of her bare torso, ribcage protruding from her bruised skin. Her stomach curving in on itself, hip bones sharp and pointed, the valley between her breasts nothing but bumpy bone. She just looked terrible, and it saddened Lydia so much to see her falling apart like this.

She swallowed her pain, her throat burning with the effort it took to hold back tears, "you always did love Stiles' lacrosse hoody"

She pulled it over Kayla's head, her friend swimming in the soft maroon material that hung off her deathly thin frame but she didn't seem to mind, letting it swallow her whole as she let her body sag on the bed, exhaustion taking her over. Maybe now she was free from the pain of her full bladder and felt warm and safe she could rest. Maybe she just needed to rest.

"Sleep Kay" Lydia encouraged, lifting the covers around her as her eyelids fluttered shut, "you need to rest"

Especially after the night they had. Kayla was chaotic last night – shouting, screaming, crying, trying to pull wads of her hair out but now, in this moment, she was the opposite – tired and void, as if she was beginning to dissociate.

Lydia crouched down next to her, tucking the covers under her chin, "I love you Kay, and I'm going to be here whenever you need me. I won't ever leave you again, I promise"

The words had no impact on Kayla, lost to the air around them as she finally let the countless nights of no sleep, pain and terror catch up to her and drift into what Lydia hoped wouldn't be a restless sleep. She hoped but knew it probably would be. Kayla's waking mind was like a war zone, she couldn't even begin to fathom what her vulnerable, sleeping mind would be like.

Lydia smiled sadly to herself, letting her hand sweep through strands of hair laid carelessly across the pillow before quietly creeping from the room. She felt like she had overstepped her boundaries and pushed herself in front of Stiles, taking charge like she did. He deserved the chance to look after her.

She appeared in the living room, meeting everyone's stares, "she's fallen asleep in your bed" she directed to Stiles, "she's quite calm now. I don't know how long it'll last but…"

Stiles stepped towards her, his expression morphed into an apology, "Lydia, I'm sorry about before-"

"Don't be" she smiled, "you feel protective over her, no one blames you for that. And you love the bones off her, of course you want to be the one to care for her and no one is going to take that away from you, least of all me" she reassured, reaching out to cup his arm gently as a sign of support, "I'm just here as support for if and when you need it"

Stiles stared down at her, thinking about how much this strawberry blonde had changed from a self-absorbed Cruella De Vil to Mary Poppins – the person he always knew she was, deep down. Okay, _wayyyy_ deep down.

He tried for a smile, lifting his hand to lay over hers resting on his bicep, "Thank you Lydia"

"You're more than welcome" she said quietly, her thumb slowly stroking back and forth above his shirt, "now go look after her. And maybe tidy up that room of yours, it's like a pig sty"

For the first time in days, maybe even weeks, he let out a soundless brief laugh, bending down to kiss Lydia's cheek gratefully.

"We'll see"

New found hope was spreading through his veins… maybe recovery was possible, maybe there was a chance she could get better, maybe he would get Kayla back again…

He crept into his room quietly, not wanting to disturb these rare moments of peace she had so sat on the floor, watching her sleep.

"You can count on me Kaylz, I promise" he vowed, "I've let you down so much but not anymore. From now on, I will do whatever it takes to help you. To get you through this. That perfect head of yours I fell in love with, we'll fix. We'll find a way… until then…"

He didn't know what compelled him to do this, but he reached into one of his drawers and pulled out a small brown bear, no bigger than the size of his hand, seeing his sad reflection in its glass eyes.

It seemed like a lifetime ago he bought this, when he thought he and Kayla were preparing for a baby of their own. He rushed out, painted the nursery and couldn't resist the small soft teddy. Only he did that and then heartbreak struck them yet again. They lost their baby and ultimately, lost a part of themselves. He remembered holding Kayla as she sobbed as she clung to this small bear which, over the next while, helped soothe her. Maybe now it would too.

He carefully placed it next to her under the covers, keeping it close to her body and she opened her eyes, wondering what the intrusion was to her slumber but she didn't even see Stiles, her gaze focused entirely on the small brown bear.

She just kept staring at her, her damaged brain trying to make the connection to it, trying to understand it, but she couldn't. She just felt attached… _sad_ , but attached at the same time, letting her eyes close once again as the teddy rested against her body, much like how a child needed a toy to quell her insecurities and fears.

Stiles' heart broke, his face crinkling in despair as the tears fell down his cheeks.

He just wanted her back.

He was willing to do _anything_ to get her back.

But, he pondered, resting his chin on the mattress as he peered over to her, would that ever happen?

 **A/N) FINALLLLLYYYY YASSSSS guys im feeling writing again YAYYYY are you happy? Ha, I am 😊 so yayyyy im really excited to hear your thoughts on this chapter (like super excited) and how kayla will progress to getting back to (semi) normal – itll be a long road but worth it andddddd did yall catch that Lydia and stiles moment? 😉 joke… maybe. Nah joke I wouldn't do that… or would i? ha anyways cant wait to hear your thoughts so please please review and I promise I shall see you soon 😊**


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